Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to the show, it's mildly hot source Three friends hanging out, taking life by force Fast food, childhoods, the daily grind Laughs and stories, always one of a kind It's mildly hot source, come join the fun Three guys with a banter, second to none Turn up the volume, we got something to say Stories at last, coming your way It's mildly hot source, come join the fun Three guys with a banter, second to none Turn up the volume, we got something to say Stories at last, coming your way
Speaker: Welcome to mildly hot source. The podcasts were not your hottest was around, but we're we're mildly hot. This is part two of last week's episode, which was part one. This is just me and the intro, obviously, because I'm adding this after the fact. But hope you guys enjoyed last week's episode and but part two was was worth the wait. And thanks for listening. Let's just get on to part two. Well, that's we were raised. You know, if you won the baseball game, you're not going home and celebrating the win. No. That's my point. You're going home and discussing what things you screwed up and how you can be better in next game. Correct. Oh, that's how we were. We're not. You are. You took the route. and So that's how we were with math. Yeah. You took a different route. In terms of.
Speaker: you decided to do things your way. Yeah, yeah have my thought process that works the same. it Yeah, it does. But that's why I'm saying i'm I'm working against it. Yeah. But I'm hoping one day you see yeah all the incredible stuff you've done and that these are incredible things. These are not normal things. People that don't people pay for education that don't get where you get that, where you've gotten now. And this is this, the beginning people pay for this. You're on the top 6%. And that's like an incredible thing. i know And it's just going to get better. The only way it gets better is if you don't leave work going
Speaker: I did nothing for the past week. That's my whole point is it doesn't go to the next step and you jazzy's car battery dies and you can't, it's not material. It's just principle. You can't go jazzy your car died. So I went and I bought you this Mercedes. I know you wouldn't, but, and it's not the Mercedes. It's just the, if you don't put in the effort at work saying you should be a to get the reward to take care of the family. You shouldn't leave work thinking, i and I've done nothing. It shouldn't be an option. That's yeah essentially my point. And I feel that a lot because I zone out and check out a lot. And I feel like that affects my ability to tell her you can quit your job and raise a kid.
Speaker: or you can quit your job and we can get a bigger house or you can... Oh, you're right. You're going to lose your job? Correct. Because I check out and that makes me very replaceable. And it's not because of the way I was raised. Even though you know that you're not. It's true. I am. But I... A lot of the times I am. I know. Yes. The thought process you have well is can be unhealthy personally, very beneficial for a business and it's benefited them exponentially, obviously. Yeah. Not every as you've illustrated and not a lot of people think like that. No.
Speaker: Again, for better for worse. Yeah. It's very good for business. And I don't think anybody would argue that you're very good at your job and not many people will be better at it. Yeah. But if I don't continue moving up and forward, then I'm not. Then it's, there's a, you know, there's a line in the sand where I don't cross anymore and then there's no more going up. So then you become replaceable because anybody can maintain
Speaker: You know what I mean? I mean, that depends where you set the bar. If your standard is opening a new bruise every month and you don't open a new bruise for that month, you're going to be like, well, now I'm replaceable. Yeah. It depends where you set the line. And generally that's a complete, that's a moving target of it's wherever you're at. Yeah. Like if you were doing that, it's going to be every month. If you're not, then it's going to be wherever you're doing right now. And if you do less than that, it's going to be a problem. Right. Well, I feel like there's a difference between what I do and what you do. Well, there's also a difference between an employer and employee. So the employer mindset is essentially what you have, which is, uh, don't like what you said to me, don't compare yourself to other people, blah, blah. Cause you don't want me to know where I am compared to everybody else.
Speaker: But me as an employee, I want to know where I am because if I'm miles ahead of everybody else yet, I'm, I know I'm getting paid about the same rent. I need to know what I can get myself into like, or what my options are. So that the whole mindset for me is to compare. I have to see if I'm doing a lot more than everybody or, you know, maybe I need another job. Maybe I need a promotion. degree That's my mindset. I agree and disagree because I feel like Dylan, in his line of work, doesn't have... You weren't looking for that comparison where you would... Dylan, how many tickets do you do more than the other team can buy? I told them. Exactly. No, I was just making a point. It doesn't count anymore. It exactly looks at that. It doesn't count anymore because Dylan gets paid for that. He looks at his stats.
Speaker: Well, yeah, but he's not looking at him and his and the other people on his level. That's not what he's looking at, right? You know, you weren't there. Those are all the things I got at the same time, the same team. He does that much more than everybody else. Yeah. But what you showed was a team. Aren't those the people under you? No, no. Those are people that get paid the same as you. Mm hmm. Yes. Or more. OK. Agreed. That doesn't make you happy to know that you can now take that to the next level. No, it pisses me off. That's all it does. It doesn't make me happy. I guess that doesn't yeah get It makes you. Well, it doesn't. I go, what the hell is everybody else doing? I'm barely doing my job. Correct. But that makes you that makes you irreplaceable. You don't want to you don't want to be a chump as an employee.
Speaker: saying, Oh, I'm not doing enough. I'm not doing enough. When really you're miles ahead of everybody else and you're getting paid the sense. So yeah, take a break. pumps It's not the break part. It's the balance. Now you can move up. No, I mean, now you move up. who and I mean, but where does Dylan move up? There's the proof there's plenty of places Dylan can go. I mean, in his specific area. ah Yes. Yeah. i I figured you didn't want anything though. Like this is where. like That's debatable. it's willing to be i mean hey If you want more than my question is, honestly, why aren't You're obviously overqualified. You should get one if I'm ready. It's not the other over -qualification. It's the, well, I just mean even application. So now it's like, look at all the effort and work I put in. Here's what the people in my company are giving. Here's what I give.
Speaker: How much do you want to pay me to give you this? That's how you should feel. When you leave work, that's how you should feel. So for example, if a company can only pay you up to $100 and they're already paying you $100, It's time to leave the company. then Well, I mean, that's fair. But at the same time, you know, when you ask them, it might not necessarily be what you're doing. But say, for example, if you don't take or if you take what money they give you, but you know that that money isn't enough, you you're more than likely going to think, well, let me go ahead and at least do less than whatever.
Speaker: Like instead of three times as much as the whole team, maybe twice as much. But you shouldn't because eventually it will get to you. And that's what I meant by that's where, that's so how he's gotten where he's gotten is because he didn't let that happen. And that's how you get where that's how you get the next step. That's how you say, Jazzy, I bought you a Mercedes such and such. I bought you a Mercedes. I bought a house dad oh bought a house dad. I bought a car dad. Let me buy this car from you because I'm going to, Put a number on it and race it it This way well yeah but this is the way i see it though the material It could be mom I bought you a house it could be you know, I'm just saying I don't correlate those things do so like say if he's been doing more work like cuz obviously he could do more work than he has been doing but he's technically probably pumping the brakes now and
Speaker: He's ah reallocating that time to take care of his kid now. I mean, that's that's just a significant way to do it. I mean, when you move up, generally you get a little more time, you get more money, you get more time. That's usually how it works. I mean, it's possible. Yeah, but he can do both. I mean, he's are he's obviously able to do enough to put himself ahead of the curb and still have time to do the kids. So why i go 100 %? when you can still, like, for saying if if the tank can only hold 50, then why are you going to try to put 75? And person it only holds up to the 50. I don't think, well, yeah, personal, but it, it, it allows you to provide more
Speaker: It allows you to, yeah but if you go to your boss and say, I did 75 tickets, you know, this is why I think I'd get the job and they give you the job or they say, well, yeah, that's definitely a reasonable, or you could say I did 125 tickets and it'd still give you the same yeah danny thing. There's always still value in it. There's um there's value in yeah at some point, even if there's also value in reallocating. Yeah, indiff that could be they gave me more money to do the same job or I applied for a different job and they gave me way more money to do a little bit more and I was able to so Dylan has a faith I was able to help rebuild halls or You know what I mean? There's always a things you can provide for other people. I've been doing a service on zoom during the week
Speaker: Yeah. Sorry. That's a benefit is it affords me the opportunity to do that. Yeah. and but And working hard has gotten him to this point to be able to do that. So if he continues to work hard, it might afford him $50 ,000 more a year to do the same job because he was so good at it before that he applied to a different company and said, this is what you're worth to us. Come do this for us. And he can still do Zoom except he can donate. to the hall or he can take his wife to, you know, Tahiti. You know, he can, you know, do things, you know, he can provide. I don't know. i and I don't correlate the two. No, no, it's just stuff I have. It's not I don't correlate it to my actions directly.
Speaker: um Like.
Speaker: me. So like that's like the taking counts is a good example where I you know have double everybody else combined. That's. I don't look at that and go. Um, look how good I'm doing. I'm able to produce so much more because of the hours I'm putting in or just because I'm looking at how much smarter I am, like that kind of stuff. I look at as, look at how low these people are producing because either they're stupid or they're not putting in the hours or they're just coming by. It should be both. It should be a combination of both. Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I look at it as I should be the baseline. I'm not like overachieving. I'm just doing the bare minimum in my eyes. Imagine if you put in the effort. Well, that um I don't think it would change. I think that would just move the baseline. Yeah, your number, you would be, instead of doubling them, you would have three, it would be 75 to 25. But that's when you bring in what I feel like doing. But that's when you bring it to somebody else. You know, a job is a job, loyalty's gone. I just mean internally. Yeah, but internally you don't take that as like,
Speaker: Look all I'm doing, like look how dope this is. That's I'm, that's just what I'm doing. That's my job. I don't, there's, what's special about doing my job. So I guess, do you want to move up? i Yeah, I mean, I'm not opposed to it. yeah If it's not what I asked, do you want to move up? If it's the right job. Yes. I'd like to move up, but if it's if it's the right fit, the answer is correct. So you'd like to, so that all accumulates into the, I can move up package yeah to current or. Future. Future. That's the word I was looking for. Yeah. That adds up, you know, in a package of.
Speaker: instead of just getting by and doubling, you can do what you're capable of and triple and bring that to the next person and say, here's my 75, 25. Imagine what you could provide for your people. Yeah, no, I get it. I don't correlate those things as achievements. If I get a promotion over the rest of my teammates, I don't look at that as look at all the effort I put in to deserve this promotion. I look at that as. I'm my output is just so much better than these people who are not good at their job that I'm.
Speaker: qualify for the position because i'm outputting much more stuff not it's not an achievement it's just what the role i should have based on what i'm doing like it but that's more of a cheap shortcoming on others than it had been achievement on my part baseline is baseline if you know but that's incorrect that's like being a good pitcher and a pitcher there's a ace who gets paid 60 million a year, and then there's your fifth starter that could pay it gets paid two. Yeah, and if you're saying, if you're if you know you're capable of striking out, you know, five people a game and you struck out five people, you're gonna be like, well, that's what I was supposed to do. If you strike out seven people, you're like, yeah, that's my new, now I know I can strike out seven people, I better do that next game. ah Good analogy, but the hitters eventually catch up.
Speaker: So if you're not striving to do better, your five goes to two. It is you in your experience. Not in my industry. That's the, maybe that's contributing to it, but I feel like false. Look where you've gotten. Yeah, but that's not, I don't, that doesn't feel like an effort on my part. that You don't think so. It's just how things are. You don't think these 60 hours a week you're working with effort. You don't think working the nights at Red Hat was effort. You don't put that any of that as effort. You could have just quit, like everybody else does. I don't directly cor that correlate to how good I, I don't correlate that to how good I am at my current job.
Speaker: but you could have just quit and mailed it in like everybody else does. So how was that not effort? Well, to be fair, the mentality that you're talking about is the exact reason why I was i guess thankful for having the ah restaurant job to start, even though I hated it. Once I was done with it, I was like, Oh, now no job will be near as bad again. Yeah. Like working for my dad. Yeah. I'm like, no matter what job I have, it's always going to be better than this. Well, they always say everybody should work in a restaurant because that's as hard as you get.
Speaker: Yeah, did you see the girl who got sentenced to it? No, the some lady went in through her Chipotle bullet one of the cashiers Because she was pissed off At what when he complained about that? Yeah, I think it was Philly D. Yeah um She was complaining and she was like wasn't happy with their response even though they were super professional like they have some kind of eyes or her video or something Chipotle She threw her burrito bowl at the cashier and the cashier was obviously like not half about that. I think she got like either sued or like it went to jail for assault or something. Right. And the judge sentenced her to work at a fast food place so she could see what it was like. So you can see. Yeah, it's it's not if it's not for the faint of heart. It'll be pretty funny if people found out which one she worked at. I just went over there. It's guaranteed that they already know.
Speaker: Boom, but it should be that prepares you for everything Mm -hmm cuz if you put no effort you fail Yeah in a restaurant. I can't mail it in So this is kind of an ongoing issue or something I talk about with my therapist, but what I always think of in my head is when I have, you know, Luca call me and be like, hey, like I had a bad day. I couldn't focus at work or I had, you know, a fight with my girlfriend last night and it was a really difficult day. I kind of just did, what you know, I did the bare minimum to get through the day. I don't want to have the thought of, well, that's disappointing. Or I don't, what do his bosses think? I want to worry about, you know, making sure that he's
Speaker: that that was a beneficial thing for him, that he can come back from that and tomorrow be able to recover. Like circumstances around each specific thing are important. And that day wasn't a failure. It was a day. It was what happened. Given the circumstances, you succeeded because of everything you had to do. You had to deal with in your head. Not necessarily everything surrounding him, but everything that he's surrounding himself with. There's just circumstances in life. But it wasn't a failure for Luca, it was a failure for the people that paid him. What do you mean? Yeah, but that's, so there's there's nothing he can physically do about that. There is. Once you clock in, that's it. that Or don't clock in. Yeah, I mean, you could just call out. Correct.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean I guess that's the thing too, but which I mean I I think it's just unreal. That's not realistic. You're just not bad days It's not yeah, everybody's allowed to have a bad day on paper. Yes, because you're still getting paid for it. Mm -hmm, but Given the circumstances, I don't blame you those were that's how you felt if you know You're just being a tool and like I just didn't feel like working today. That's a separate issue Yeah, there's different circumstances. I just I don't want him to fall into the same trap of. That nothing is ever good enough where. You know, you worked 70 hours this week and you're worried that you're going to get fired because you didn't do enough.
Speaker: or just now you're not worried about getting fired, but you just feel like you didn't do anything yeah significant. Yeah. Well, I guess that was to my point is that you didn't probably didn't feel that ever when you were doing all that. You never felt the, ooh, I'm replaceable. You know what I mean? You were putting in the effort. And here and there I did. Here and there was a lot. Because that set the new baseline. That's my point. If I was for three weeks out of the month, I did 70 hours and the next week I did 40, I felt like crap.
Speaker: because I didn't meet what I was my new expectation. right This is what my job requires of me right now. I didn't meet that in my head. This is yeah what I should have been doing. Yeah. And that's just not realistic. Again, there's plenty of things that are good on paper that don't work out in life. but And there's plenty of things that go on in your head that aren't realistic in the real world. You know, that you can't your feelings don't necessarily always dictate how you should act in real life because you need to just suck it up sometimes. But our our thought process don't always lend itself to that ah leniency. Right. And that's been a lot of the conversations I've had is surrounding circumstances. There's no
Speaker: in the perfectionism and black and white thinking, there's no allowance for that. like I snapped at my dog today. That's unacceptable. They should take my dog away from me. not you know you know If you kick the crap out of him and he's bleeding, then yes, absolutely. But if you just you know my kid, if I yelled at Luca, if I don't take into account any of the surrounding circumstances, then I'm just a bad dad. But if I had just stubbed my toe, the kitchen's on fire and he's crying and screaming at me, and cursing at me, I might s snap. Well, yeah. Yeah. So there's. The thought process don't allow for that, where if all that's going on and I say, Luca, shut up, I'm trying to deal with this, I'm going to feel awful and I'm a bad parent. Which may not be completely abnormal, but just just an example. There's no there's no room for that either. You did something bad that's bad.
Speaker: Yeah, so I feel like that's true, except if there was somebody paying you to not feel like that, then it is wrong. but Because that's your only, that's your personal idea. I guess I disagree, because that's your personal dime when you're at home. But when you clock in, you are now on somebody else's dime. They are handing you their personal property. to do something and act a specific way. And if you can't perform it, I feel like that's different than when you're at home. What he came in and was like, hey, man, sorry, I had to go in the bathroom and throw up for 20 minutes. Sorry. I'm not trying to get back to work. I think that's illegal to go to work if you're puking. You know what I mean? He's like, I had diarrhea. I had to go hang out for 20 minutes and let it pass. But I know what you mean. But that's one of those things you can't go to work for. You're fired.
Speaker: Well those things you're not allowed to go to work for that reason. It's because those are the days that you can't. Like you're just sitting at your desk and you're like, uh oh. You ate a burrito at lunch. Because you're supposed to go home, that's an illness. I mean. You know what I mean? I do. If your mom's in the hospital and you get a phone call giving you an update on how it's going and you're on the phone for 20 minutes, there's your boss isn't gonna come and be like, hey, so I saw you took a phone call. You should say 20 minutes extra.
Speaker: You can yeah and that's that's up to you and your boss. There's yeah, there's a there's a back and forth there but black and white is that's unacceptable. I can't take this phone call and if I do my boss is gonna fire me because that's unacceptable. Yeah, that's true. So yes, I don't know it in my head. I mean because just from that my thought process. It's an all -encompassing issue. It's not like I can I can't just have that thought process at work and not have it at home and various versa. It's a complete overall ah ah framework. Yeah, I guess I'm easy. I can easily distinguish the lines and. Leave one place and be another, I guess that's easier for me. I think sometimes you're just used to it feeling like that.
Speaker: ah Possibly. Like, oh, I phoned it in, I'm, I was a bad worker today when that's not necessarily true. And you're just used to that. And you're like, I'll be an amazing worker tomorrow and so we'll be okay. And then I do it. Yeah. That's why I got to where I am. But it's not healthy to regularly think that you're bad at something. But that's if I'm regularly bad at something. According to you. That's, but that's what I mean. I know it. According to you, that's by your standards. But just because everybody else is trash doesn't mean I have to be. No, your standards being unrealistic standards. I don't think they're unrealistic. If you meet them a lot, they're not unrealistic. If you thought they're unrealistic, you wouldn't be doing it. Well, if you meet them, they're not unrealistic. You meet them because they're your standard. Right. That's what you should be doing. I'm on burgundy.
Speaker: You you have very high expectations of yourself. So. And and that's just not always fair, you know, and but I'm sure you have those but I needed a lot. doesn't mean it's a good thing. That just means you're a good employee it has. I think that's why I'm able to do what I do. Probably because I meet, I meet it. So they're not unrealistic. I meet them and when I don't, I feel... But they come at a detriment to other things. I don't think, I don't think so. Everything does.
Speaker: Even if you don't know it does it comes at a detriment to something it's impossible to think negatively about yourself in Any unnatural capacity like you know, ah unless you can't face unless you can't leave work and leave work at work Which I can I'm a lot of people struggle with that is i I don't struggle with that So when I leave work and I knew I was a bag of shrimp at work all day and I come home and The bag of shrimp is gone. I don't have that issue. Well, to be fair, that really kind of depends on the, uh, the individual career. Cause I mean, some careers are like projects where you have to constantly think about it. And so you wind up thinking about it at the house, like a due date for something. and All jobs are that all jobs have a due date. I mean, I would say, well, I mean, maybe as a manager, all jobs have a project.
Speaker: But say, well, no, because like, say if I'm a server well after after my work, but what do I got to do? No, you're right. And those you can leave that completely at work, because I mean, after you're done being a server, you're done. And that's yeah you don't go home, just like practice. I mean, I used to because I just kind of like moving with the trays. Yeah, it's mentally unhealthy to take your work home. Yes, unless you have to. Well, that's I mean, you know, it's mentally unhealthy. It's unhealthy. I didn't say whether you should or you shouldn't. And we all do it from time time to time. If you're the CEO of Microsoft, you're probably taking your work home from yeah with you that's required and you're going to do it. Doesn't mean it's the healthy thing to do.
Speaker: It's bad for your psyche there. It's going to affect you in other places. and I don't use just saying that I don't make me think that because that's something I used to do is I used to think about work constantly and that's just not a healthy way to live. Even though it's productive, it starts affecting you in other places. Yeah. You know, i I know I'm planning and I'm going to execute on this tomorrow, but it's taking away from something else both physically and mentally. Yeah. And that's like my biggest pet peeve when I get home is don't ask me questions about work. I tell her that all the time. I don't really.
Speaker: Want to talk about it I want to leave it there. Yeah, because that's to me. That's the way it should be I don't want to be at work at home. I don't want to re Hash everything that I went through all day. Yeah, do you i want to live my life with you? Fair enough And that was what I hated most about Working at Red Hat Is I thought about a 24 -7. Yeah, just the anxiety around it It was like debilitating you can't focus on anything else because yeah, what's what you know, you're walking back into. Mm -hmm You know whether it's very stressful or just a place you don't want to be physically, you know, whatever the case is. Mm -hmm All right. Yeah, I think we've gone down the psychological rabbit hole enough
Speaker: yeah But hey mar color calledour yeah the conversation we just had is kind of a sneak peek into the conversations I have with my therapist. But I'm on, I sound more like you, where I'm like, but that's just how it's supposed to be. That's the correct thing to do. And and she's like, well, who says? Like it's just because it's that's how it's supposed to be. Yeah, she's like, but who made it supposed to be like that? What? Where's the rule? Well, her job is to make it not unhealthy to feel that way. That doesn't mean what you're feeling is wrong. Feeling and the way you're feeling, it might be unhealthy. Yeah, but there's also I should be the I should be there for everybody at all times, no matter what.
Speaker: I should be doing my good job at my job at all times, no matter what. I should be a good dad at all times, no matter what. that's Regardless of what's happening in my life. I disagree with everything except the paid portion. I am above the law. okay and I really do. I disagree with all of it except the paid portion. I feel like you can't be the best dad all the time. Can't be the best husband all the time. Can't be the best boyfriend. That bleeds into that. Not on purpose. Yeah, I know. But if you can accept one. You should do your best to be it. Oh, well, yeah. If you can't for some reason, you shouldn't be like, I'm an awful human being. Correct. Except the paid portion of it.
Speaker: where somebody else is paying you to do it. It's interesting to me that you say you need to be 100 % in your job all the time, but not as a dad all the time. It sounds weird, I know. Because of the money. It's not the money. It's the principle of somebody paying you to do this. If you don't do this, you don't deserve to be paid. Yeah. Being a dad. I agree. Cause that's what it technically means. Being a job is subjective. Being a husband and or boyfriend is subjective. Doing a job is objective. You get paid to complete. No.
Speaker: In my head, it's a job with the same level of expectations. I have things that are your expectations, not somebody else's expectations. It plays the same in my head, really. It shouldn't because one's yours when somebody else's. So if I don't meet my expectations, that's just as bad as me not meeting somebody else's. Yeah, I guess since I'm a bad dad. One's means I'm a bad worker. Yeah.
Speaker: these are conversations i had she's like I get it. You want to call it early today? It's been 15 minutes. Wendy's closes soon. I get it. But you have more time to correct if you're not being paid by somebody else to do it correctly. you have the option of correction in one area of life where you don't have the option of correction in the other. Somebody's paid you to do the correct job, whereas you are learning on the fly to do the correct job. Those are two different aspects of life. One's learning on the fly, one's being paid to do something you said you knew how to do. yeah So somebody else is giving you their life, which is money, time,
Speaker: That's life. Somebody else is giving you yeah pieces of them to perform something that you said I can do. Nobody's given you a child and said, you said you knew how to raise this baby. Raise it the way I want you to. Those are two different two different things. But you have to separate employers position like as an employer. I don't think like if it's my job, I don't find it realistic to be like all of my employees are going to be 100 percent, 100 percent of the time. I do. That'd be nice. I do. But I don't think it's realistic to not require it. And you're fired if you put in 90 percent fired. No required. Yes.
Speaker: I require everybody that works for me and it's a restaurant. This is not life or death. You're a bad worker if you didn't give it that. You are. You mailed it in. I don't think that's realistic. You did a crap job. You got paid and such and such next to you had to pick up all your work and made the same amount of money as you. You should feel ashamed. You should give them all your money.
Speaker: Whereas when you leave work, if one parent's having a bad night, the other one should pick up the slack. Those are two different facts, two different facets of life. You know what I mean? Yeah, but that's not how it works. It is. People can't call out every time they are having a bad day. No, not call out. You should do your best. Yeah, do your best, but that doesn't mean it's going to be the best as of yesterday. Your best. My dog just died. My, somebody in my family just died is your best. Doing your best because I just don't feel like it is tangible. You're palpable, I should say. You can feel that. You know what I mean? There's two different, yeah it's black and white, but it's not black and white. So if you know if you know your employee's dog just died,
Speaker: but they're sitting at their desk giving everything they got that they can give that day yeah acceptable. Yeah. And that's where the employer is understanding of those things. Correct. They're doing their best. They're doing their best. They're best. Correct. Those are two different things. Correct. But as the employee, I'm going to feel like crap because I'm not at my best. You shouldn't. That's not fair. I shouldn't because I'm doing my best and it's unrealistic me to expect to be at 100 % today. You should. It's not everything that happened. Okay. I take that back. You should. And you're correct. But that comes with a level of understanding.
Speaker: But when you go home, that should be two different expectations. At home, you were learning on the fly. You did not go to school for it. You did not pay for an education for it. You were not prepared for it. This is an on the fly project of who you are. You are a work in progress at home. You're not a work in progress at work except getting better, which I guess is the same. I was going to say I put it on the same level as making a mistake at work. Correct. If you make a drink wrong, that's that you had a bad day. You made a bad drink. That doesn't mean you're a bad worker, but I'm going to think about that for the rest of the night and think I'm a bad worker because I'm an idiot. I made a bad drink.
Speaker: Which that's not, that's not fair. I made, I made one bad drink out of the 200 I made. Sure. I, I'm going to make sure I don't do that tomorrow, but that, that feeling sticks around. But that got you where you are now. I by i made sure I didn't do it. It is. It got you where you are now. I'm not going to do that one mistake healthy and beneficial or two different things. I feel like those are the same thing. Mmm. Unless you're at home, which also, it's called learning from your mistakes or learning from your mistakes, whether you're at home or at work. Yeah. There's healthy ways to learn from your mistakes. Motivation by um motivation via negativity is not healthy.
Speaker: Motivation via like positivity in the form of I want to do better tomorrow, and not I suck today. Those are two very different things and different outcomes. And over a period of time, you're going to have different. ah It's going to affect your personality, different. You're going to one, you know, you're less likely being depressed with one of them. Yeah, you're going to feel like less of a bad person and less of a piece of crap. You're going to have no worth and value. Yeah, you know, that kind of that's what I'm saying. Mm hmm. Is I struggle with the negative side of it where I'm motivated. We're all very motivated by ah I'm talking about in our family motivated by the negative of. I need to improve on all the things I screwed up today. Right. And I felt like crap because I did this and I'm not going to let that happen again. Mm hmm.
Speaker: or I felt like I didn't do enough today. So tomorrow I'm going to do more. Like it's all fueled by what you didn't do. Yeah, I get it. As opposed to what you want to do, which is kind of the same outcome, but a different yeah perspective. But I feel like that was all reserved for not you and not mom. I feel like I feel like the two of you have done more for yourself than the rest of us have. I feel like that should come. with, uh, put yourself short and you put yourself in a very high position like kind like industry that does not like higher up often. I usually have to wait for people to retire to get to your position and that could take long, long time. You could teach a monkey to do what I do.
Speaker: That's not absolutely not true. If you teach a monkey to do your job, then you can't teach a monkey to do it at your job. You can teach a monkey how to do what you do on paper. Yeah, I knew what you were saying. You could maybe program a rope, but not with... So say Jimmy has charisma, as I say it, you have higher charisma.
Speaker: you have You have the actual charisma that you're talking about. encountered with a little ah It's not down that hole again. Bruce is closing next month. But yeah you have you have a way of capping it to a certain extent and using it to your advantage. You yeah you found a way to use it utilize it to get yourself into a very high position. Quincy could do your job. In theory, he could do your job. Yes, not well. No. Yeah. That's what I mean by a monkey could do it. But no, I don't. Yeah. I'd be surprised if there was five people in the state that could do you're the job you're doing. But I know what you're trying to say, but your job requires a specific skill. My job does not.
Speaker: Your job requires your job. Your job is a skill. No, no. My job is a personality trait. That's a skill. That's a character. That's also not true. That's, it's both many things that there's a lot of that being. So Dylan is a, his is a practical skill. Yours is a sociological skill. yeah Yeah. Even still, there's plenty of practical stuff. Yeah. But there's physical things. I mean, there's logistics. Yeah. The logistical part of it is very important. I'm good at being full of it. It's a skill. Yeah. every But you do it all and all at once in and the same day. Yeah. You'll cook, serve, bartend, do the books. Yeah. Order stuff. Yeah. And fix the toilet in the same day.
Speaker: but Yeah, another manager is doing one of them and scheduling the next for the next couple of days. Yeah, I Know I get it or get hiring somebody to do that But I didn't hiring somebody to do the books, but I didn't and teach myself these things. I have Yeah, that's just being smart. That's what I'm saying. That's the skill Yeah, but I happened upon them I didn't build I built towards it but I just As opposed to it I didn't learn a skill. whole night Yes, you did. No, I didn't. It's the same thing. I happened upon it in the town square. yeah my business skill I was good at it at a home. I mess with the computer and then I went to work and just have been doing it since. I didn't. Somebody said, can you cook? And I said, yeah. And I had never cooked before. I lied.
Speaker: Regardless of how you started from there, it built, that's all mine was, is, ah yeah, maybe I started a little bit further ahead because I yeah you was mentally - You worked at it. Not intentionally. I just was doing it. It wasn't like, I and i never went to school for it. You didn't have to. Officially go to learn. I just was doing it. You were just learning. You were learning by interest. john I didn't learn my interest. I learned by had to, those were two different things. I mean, it was my job. I had to. I also liked it. I mean, I think that's besides the point. That's how I got into the industry. Yeah. Not know why I got better at it. Yeah. But you should, um, you should be able to separate the two of life and work.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm just saying i I think your thing is as much of a skill as the same way you couldn't come in and do my job. I couldn't go in and do your job. I don't have the skill set. You don't have the skill set. That's just not. I feel like you could. You can tell people who reboot their computers. I can tell people how to cook. I can seat people like. You could. I can mosey through the day. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. You could. But it's going to be a problem long term. Yeah. Because you don't have the skill set. Yeah. Maybe. My point being your skill set is very hard to find.
Speaker: The skill, it it doesn't mean on a book you went to school for this skill is just one thing. or So, so if I agree on the job portion, when I come home, I don't feel like I'm at the same standard at work because somebody's not paying me to provide this skill. I'm paying myself to try to learn a skill. You know what I mean? that's it that's its own So my marriage is um is my work in progress. I can't get mad at myself for trying to get better and better. Cause I'm awful at it. You know what I mean? It's something that you have to step back from and say, I'm not good at this. You can't do that at work. So you you have to be able to do that somewhere. So you should be able to, that's a skill in itself.
Speaker: Your mom's a skill. I mean, i'm am I wrong? now Your mom's not a skill kill as in there's a a ah chapter in a book on it, but it's a skill in that it's something you had to learn and be good at. And not many other people can do. Yeah, but that's something learnable, able to adapt and ah adaptability is a skill. Put that on my resume.
Speaker: I'm gonna put that on my resume. I swear I've said that to a thousand people. I'm great at nothing. I am mediocre. I've always said I'm Decent at anything. What do you think Red Hat was I was I I told them in the interview I was like I've never used this crap in my life I was like, but I'll learn it and I cool. Let's let's do that. Yeah, they were like, that's fine. They're like, you seem smart. You seem like you'd probably be able to handle it. And that's just how it went. And I learned it and was fine. That's more or less what happened with you, except you kind of leaned into. Yeah, I i know. But I mean, but you can do that at home. It should be the same thing is. I don't know any of this crap. I'll get good at it.
Speaker: Yeah, it's but that's part of the problem is once you have the job and the expectations I'm gonna feel like crap until I'm Meeting whatever expectation I have and you got to work on that stop pointing fingers My first day of cooking if I burn it that my first meal I'm gonna feel like crap and I'm gonna want to go home Cuz I feel like i I'm a bad cook and I don't deserve this job. Yeah You know, realistically, that's an unrealistic expectation. And I knew that going in, but as soon as I have the job, that's unacceptable. I'm bad at my job. Yeah, that's my point is, is realistic versus what's actually in my head is not really fair.
Speaker: Um, yeah, I forget how we got back on that anyway, but anyways Welcome to the mildly hot source podcast the Hey Hey How you been man, I'm doing all right It's always the same let's do as the same tone as you do, right? Osmocizing
Speaker: i listen to that one again today as osmacing does this just just mo osmosis and through the fantastic i was at the car dealershire laughing
Speaker: And then and in the background I go, you osmosed?
Speaker: Hope everybody enjoyed the rabbit hole. We went down in the spiral of our mental illness. I listened to that one again today.
Speaker: for my mental illness and next agent. Oh, which one's worse? We don't know. Thanks for being with us, everybody. Thanks for being here, Nick and Danny. um We'll see ah what happens next week with mildly frustrating or if that will be out in two weeks if this was a 17 parter. All right guys enjoy the rest of your night and enjoy the rest of your week and hope everybody enjoyed and again You can email us at mildly frustrating gmail .com which we haven't gotten one yet So it's just I just want to throw it out there in case one day we're famous and this is gonna be historical information You could say hey we emailed those people at one time Yeah, remember that before they all died
Speaker: I took a turn over those three guys. All right. Well, we'll see you guys next time. All right, guys. All right. Have a good night. Peace out. Peace.
