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32: Fighting to Focus
17 Plays2 months ago
From the manosphere content machine that’s building audiences (and bank accounts) off outrage, to lawsuits exposing how platforms like YouTube and Meta design for addiction, to even tools like ChatGPT that can quietly nudge us to stay engaged longer… there is a constant, calculated fight for our time.
And let’s be real, I’m in it too. I want your attention. I want you to listen, to watch, to come back. So the question isn’t whether we’re participating, it’s how conscious we’re being about it.
What does it look like to protect your attention in a world designed to take it from you? What boundaries actually work? And how do you stay informed and connected without getting pulled into the machine?
Time to say the quiet parts out loud! Let’s get into it.
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Transcript
Introduction and Purpose of 'Geneva Says'
00:00:00
Speaker
Today on Geneva Says, maybe the internet actually wasn't that good of an idea.
00:00:21
Speaker
This is Brittany Geneva. Thank you guys so much for joining me again for another episode of Geneva Says. So happy to have you with me this week.
00:00:31
Speaker
I have a lot to talk about. Let's jump right into the catch
Celebrating 15 Years in Delta
00:00:35
Speaker
up. First of all, Today is my Deltaversary. i just have to take a minute to celebrate maybe 15 15 years in the bond.
00:00:47
Speaker
Shout out to my line sister, spring 2011, Atlanta alumni chapter, DFTFF. Oh, what a time. What a time it was. What a time it's been.
00:00:59
Speaker
i keep saying I'm going to get active again. Roars out there, please don't judge me. Please don't judge me for not being active. I promise I'm gonna get it together. I promise I'm going to get it together.
00:01:09
Speaker
But I just have to shout that out. 15 years. It's amazing. Love it. Shout out to everybody except anybody who has denounced because of Jesus. It's ridiculous. It's religious psychosis.
00:01:22
Speaker
Jesus didn't tell you to denounce. You just didn't pledge for the right reasons.
The Role of Self-Care
00:01:27
Speaker
Anyways, uh, ah One thing I've been talking about over the past few episodes is self-care, right? And I have been really focused on this because it's an area that I'm trying to improve in my life. I'm trying to get better about my self-care.
00:01:43
Speaker
And one of the things or one of sort of the elements of self-care that I've really been... thinking about a lot lately is the idea of like listening to your body, that that is an element of self-care, listening to yourself, believing yourself when, when it's trying to tell you that something is off, right? Like,
00:02:05
Speaker
As women, especially as Black women, we have perfected the art of like mind over matter and being able to like push through anything, push through pain, push through discomfort, because that's literally the only way we can survive in America.
00:02:22
Speaker
And look, that's why part of the reason why the black maternal health crisis is so real, because people believe that somehow as black women, we're superhuman and we don't feel pain when in fact we feel it. But unfortunately, at times we've become really good at pushing past it.
00:02:42
Speaker
And there's been something going on with me recently, which I'll talk about on a future episode. But it has really been making this very real for me that I need to listen to my body. And even at times when I have tried not to my body is like, no, no, no, baby, you're going to listen to me today because I'm going to make it so you can't ignore.
00:03:09
Speaker
I have been experiencing things to a level that I have never experienced before. Things that have come up for me, like I have had migraines in the past, like very rarely, irregularly.
00:03:21
Speaker
But I do have like medicine just in case. I probably take it like a few times a year. Why am I almost out of the damn medicine now? I've been having migraines like crazy. Head just hurting, like almost all the time.
00:03:34
Speaker
That's not normal. That's not good. I have been having chest pain. I have been having like extreme, just stiffness, pain here and there, like fatigue, all these things that of course happen irregularly to everyone, but I've been experiencing it like consistently over the past like weeks, several weeks.
00:04:02
Speaker
And it has really made it very clear to me about some changes I need to make. And I would have said, i can get through this.
00:04:13
Speaker
No, I can make it. No, I can make this happen. I can figure it out. but my body screaming out to me, don't, you shouldn't be trying to figure this out.
00:04:24
Speaker
You shouldn't be trying to push through this. Like this thing is not good for you because it is causing you to feel all of these sensations that are not normal for you.
00:04:36
Speaker
And so I'm sharing that because if anybody else can relate, like, There's I think there's a book called Your Body Keeps the Score about how as much as you might try to mentally get past something physically, it is in you. And if there's discomfort, if there's pain, if it's ongoing, if it's not stopping.
00:04:58
Speaker
Consider what's going on in your environment that might be contributing to that, because that's what I'm having to do. And I'm having to make changes right now because I'm like, I actually cannot push through this.
00:05:10
Speaker
I actually cannot try to grin and bear it. I actually cannot do that to myself. I have to... make a change because my body is telling me i have to, and I have no choice but to listen at this point. That's self-care, that's self-love.
00:05:26
Speaker
So that's really something I've been meditating on. And I definitely want to pass that along to anybody who might be feeling the same way or might be able to relate.
Balancing Online Presence and Personal Attention
00:05:38
Speaker
This week, Geneva says we need to reclaim our attention. I've been thinking about this a lot, especially the irony of this, given the fact that I am creating this podcast. I am going to chop it into clips to share on social media with the goal of getting you to pay attention to it. OK, I hope that you'll watch and listen and be interested.
00:06:02
Speaker
But I am trying to do this. with content that is constructive and uplifting and hopefully can actually be thought provoking and helpful, unlike a lot of what's out there.
00:06:15
Speaker
But i have just been seeing so many different things recently that remind me how important it is to like take back my attention.
00:06:26
Speaker
Everything, everywhere, all at once is trying to like steal my attention away from me, steal my focus away from me, steal my mind away from me so that I am just here and there and everywhere else and not focused on the things that I need to be focused on that are the best for me.
00:06:46
Speaker
And anything that I choose to put my attention on, I want it to be just that. I want it to be a choice that I'm making, that I am deciding I want to watch this video. I want to listen to this podcast.
00:06:57
Speaker
And I'm not just like mindlessly scrolling or doing something that is not actually... a choice that I'm making. So a lot of things, like I said, have come up for me to inform
Critique of the Manosphere Documentary
00:07:09
Speaker
this. So first, I just, I guess, decided that I hate myself and I wanted to watch this Netflix documentary called Inside the Manosphere.
00:07:20
Speaker
which is basically, I mean, exactly what it sounds like. This documentarian is out connecting with different people who are a part of the Manosphere. I only knew one of them. I'm like, I really don't want to say their names too much on this because I don't care to bring them any type of attention. But there is one who is the more vocal co-host on a thing called Fresh and Fit,
00:07:46
Speaker
There are several others who I had never heard of before her watching this. Some guy who like is from Louisiana and now he lives in Florida and his whole thing is like how to make money. And he's in this one sided monogamous relationship where he gets to do whatever. But his wife has well, his wife.
00:08:05
Speaker
Baby mother has to stay faithful, but she's not even his wife because he feels a type of way about getting married. ah There's this other man who was on the run from the law and was in Spain. And he like streams like seven hours a day talking all this craziness about women, but then being surrounded by like OnlyFans models. It was just very weird and crazy and nothing like i don't think there's a lot of new information in terms of like, oh, the manosphere is disgusting and spewing vile hatred that's based in a lot of really toxic thinking. But there are a couple of things that jumped out to me that are the reason why I'm bringing this up.
00:08:49
Speaker
One, and the the main thing is that It was very clear, at least for one of these creators, but I think it could apply to others, that I don't really think they believe what they're saying. And I thought it was really, really clear, especially from one of them. Like, he all but said, I'm just doing this because it helps me make money.
00:09:11
Speaker
And he literally... said, it's an attention economy. I have to do things to get attention so that when I have that attention, I can sell the product. And it was like some bullshit courses, you know, yeah pay a thousand dollars and I'll teach you how to get rich.
00:09:26
Speaker
The getting rich was getting you to pay the thousand dollars. okay OK, he had this sort of like whole ethos about like, I don't care what I have to do as long as I get the attention. And even though the other folks that they included weren't that direct, I think they all think the same thing. I think they all recognize the grift, just like all of the people who before our eyes have become like right wing grifters, people who wait, I didn't know you were MAGA. I didn't know you're conservative.
00:09:59
Speaker
Some of those things might be like genuine transformations, but I think most of them are just people realizing that when you say this wild shit online, it gets a lot of views, whether it's people who are agreeing or people who are strongly disagreeing.
00:10:14
Speaker
They don't care. as long as somebody is looking right. And then they flip that into whatever they're selling products, ads, or if it's just the revenue from the platform for having a lot of views.
00:10:28
Speaker
And so that really made me think about like, damn, I try really hard not to get rage baited online. Like I really, really, really don't want to respond to people when they're saying crazy shit because nine times out of 10, they're just saying it for the engagement.
00:10:47
Speaker
But I think this makes it even more clear. Like these folks know what they're doing. And you know, the other hint to all these niggas were doing sales before they started doing this.
00:10:58
Speaker
all They were all in sales, real estate, something where they had to sell. and And the one guy said, if I weren't doing this, I would be doing sales, which lets you know they just see see this as a sales channel. This is just a way to sell.
00:11:12
Speaker
They're just trying to gather up the attention, gather up the outrage, flip it into a paycheck and go on about their lives. That kind of approach is true for a lot of different types of creators.
00:11:26
Speaker
And even if we are responding to things with disagreement and saying, no, you're wrong, stop and think about, are they just saying that to get my attention, to get me to respond, to get me to engage so they can get money at the end of the day?
00:11:43
Speaker
And if you have any young person in your life who subscribes to any of this, i What can you do to influence their attention? That's the other thing that I took away from this documentary is that there are these creators who I don't even know if they really believe what they're saying, but they are creating a generation of fans who do believe what they're saying. They were...
00:12:10
Speaker
walking through the streets and had all these young men running up to them. Oh, dude. Oh my God. I love you so much, dude. ua And then the documentary maker was interviewing the fans and the fans were like, yeah, you know, my dad wasn't in my life. And like this, this guy really helped me help me get through blah, blah, blah. Oh, wait a minute. So you're looking to this person for like mentorship and to fill in the gap of your missing father.
00:12:40
Speaker
No. Ooh, no. We can't. Ooh, this person doesn't give a fuck about you. he gives a fuck about a check.
00:12:50
Speaker
I just, ooh, like I said, I rage baited myself ah watching this documentary. I'm not recommending it because... Clearly, like, it's very vile, but it really goes to just show that there's no sincerity among the creators, but they are creating sincere fans and followers, and that worries me.
00:13:17
Speaker
That scares me a lot, and I think As we are thinking about how to navigate this internet world, how can we manage what we're paying attention to and how we are, you know, like at the end of the day, it's impossible almost to just be off social media. It's impossible to not be on all these platforms. And there are great things that are there.
00:13:46
Speaker
There are great tutorials and, and information on YouTube and very interesting and funny things on Tik TOK and Instagram.
00:13:56
Speaker
And we just have to find that balance of like how we can have the good without the bad. And maybe we can't, maybe it's impossible if all this shit shut down tomorrow.
00:14:09
Speaker
i mean, so be it like, Thankfully, i have other skills, so I'm trying to make this a thing, but if it doesn't happen, baby, I'll be okay. But like, I just feel, sometimes I just think about like, damn, how can I balance this better? You know, even when it comes to like ai look, I'm go make a confession right now.
00:14:30
Speaker
Let me get, let me sit in my confession posture. I confess that I'd be using the fuck out of chat GPT. me I say chat, anything that comes to my mind. Okay. Like I talk to her and and yes, she's a her primarily for work, primarily for things that are very much like second pair of eyes. Can you review this thing that I wrote? Can you help me with this brainstorm, this thing I'm trying to figure out?
00:15:01
Speaker
But i I admit, I also use chat for personal things. I have used chat to help me write difficult text messages, I have used chat just to help me like organize my thoughts. You know, when I was feeling very chaotic, I have just vented to chat. I mean, I'm not even I'm not ashamed of this because, of course, online, everybody is so binary and black and white.
00:15:23
Speaker
And they say, why would you use chat? You need to go talk to a real therapist. You need to go talk to your friend. ah Why not have all three? I talk to my therapist. I talk to my friends and I talk to chat.
00:15:34
Speaker
I have a lot to talk about. So there's plenty to go around for everybody. Sometimes I talk to chat and then I take it to my therapist. I say, hey, I was talking to chat GPT about this.
00:15:46
Speaker
And then I talked to her about it. And she's like, that's not weird. Like, I'm certainly not the only client doing that. So first of all, let's just like get rid of the shame around that because people love to be so judgmental online. But at the end of the day, like there is a resource there if you use it wisely.
00:16:03
Speaker
And I do think that AI can be very beneficial again if used wisely. i use it for work. I use it to sort of help me almost kind of like a like a, like a second pair of eyes, like bouncing stuff off of it, not to help me make any real decisions, not sharing anything that's like confidential that I wouldn't share in the world for work stuff, public documents, only, only things that like press releases, things that are about to be public anyway. Right. And so you can be responsible. You can turn off
00:16:38
Speaker
ah the ability for AI to train the model based on what you tell it. um So there's ways to use it responsibly. And then there's ways to use it really irresponsibly. You can give AI instructions. I give my AI instructions to challenge me, to push back on me. Don't tell me I'm right about everything I say. And then there are people who go in and say,
00:16:59
Speaker
Like that, that woman, y'all remember that woman on TikTok? Like that, I think that was last year who likes her. She told her AI to start calling her the Oracle and her AI was like extremely sycophantic and like constantly reinforcing her craziness about like her therapist being obsessed with her or something.
00:17:19
Speaker
So you can use it for good. You can use it for bad. I'm trying to find the balance. If AI had to go away tomorrow in order to eliminate the bad, then so be it again. Like, I feel like that's kind of my line. Like, this shit could all go away tomorrow and I'll be okay.
00:17:38
Speaker
And I just have to make sure that that's always true. You know, like people are like, I can stop drinking at any time. No, I really need that to be true. I need to be able to stop AI-ing at any time, stop social media-ing at any time. like As long as I know that I can stop at any time, it could go away tomorrow and I would be able to like function and be okay. Maybe that's my line. I'd love to hear, how do y'all find the balance? you know Because again, I think that's what this whole...
00:18:09
Speaker
reflection is about of just like, how do we find the balance of like taking back our attention and not allowing ourselves to be pulled into all of the places that these platforms want to pull us while still using the platforms because there is some benefit and they're not going away.
Legal Challenges Against Social Media Giants
00:18:27
Speaker
I don't know if y'all have heard about this recent lawsuit where a young woman sued Meta and YouTube basically saying that they were created to be harmful and that they are they have a flawed design that's like meant to make people addicted.
00:18:44
Speaker
Now, of course, that design is not a flaw. They've done that on purpose, but the crux of the lawsuit was saying this is not how social media is supposed to be.
00:18:54
Speaker
This is a flawed design. And they won the lawsuit. the The young woman who sued won the lawsuit against Meta and YouTube, essentially saying that these apps are designed to take our attention in a way that is like way beyond normal.
00:19:12
Speaker
and so That acknowledgement, some court and some jury said, yeah, you know what, you're right. And that acknowledgement, of course, of something that we know is true, but really seeing it in black and white is like, we have to figure out how to take back some power from this because Legislators aren't going to do it the The few laws that we have that apply to social media are so outdated and have no real bearing on how people use it 2026.
00:19:46
Speaker
We have no regulation about AI other than I think some state laws about like, so, you know, ah child like abuse material and things that are like really, you know, egregious.
00:20:00
Speaker
But everyday AI use is really not regulated at all. So we have to be the ones to regulate ourselves and decide how are we going to interact with these platforms in a way that tries to keep the usefulness, but tries to distance ourselves from the harm and that may not be possible.
Practicing Social Media Fasting
00:20:24
Speaker
I try to social media fast. That's like one big thing for me. And I've been doing it a lot more consistently and longer over the past few years. And I really want to make it a thing, recognizing that I am making content that I'm going to post on social and I'm going to try to do that and schedule it and then not be on there for a week. You know, like I have to take care even in this environment. And I think that's one of the things, too, that like ah a lot of people who are creators become very burnt out and they go crazy because they feel like they have to be slave to the Internet. And I'm like, I'm putting content on the Internet, but the Internet don't own me and I will not be.
00:21:04
Speaker
Somebody whose whole life has to revolve around this, even if it be if it's able to become part of my business, because that's just not what I would let any work do.
00:21:19
Speaker
Nothing will be well have my life revolve around it. even if it pays me. That's just not how I want to operate. And so the boundaries have to stay in place. I'm trying to be consistent about social media fasting. I'm trying to be consistent about keeping my boundaries with AI. I'm trying to be consistent about turning things off.
00:21:43
Speaker
And i I struggle. I do like, I think I'm a big YouTube watcher. I think that's like much bigger for me then scrolling social media is like, I will be watching some damn YouTube videos, like another one, another one. ah I'd be watching YouTube like really bad. So that's something that I'm like, maybe I need to like do a YouTube fast, like that, just checking in with myself and thinking about, okay, what am I, what am I consuming?
00:22:14
Speaker
What feels like it might becoming, it might be becoming more of a habit and something that I'm doing automatically as opposed to something that I'm choosing and like making a decision to actually do.
00:22:27
Speaker
So I think those are the ways that we just have to check in with ourselves and like make sure again, that we are in control of our attention because if we don't everybody else And finally today, currently obsessed with
Sci-Fi Obsession: Deep Dive into 'Paradise'
00:22:44
Speaker
Paradise. i have been watching that show for the past two seasons and it is so good. It has basically transformed into like this sci-fi thriller, which I don't necessarily think I saw coming, but i like it here. This is very interesting. Like we're talking time travel and alternate universes and, and
00:23:09
Speaker
multi-ver... I don't even... Big AI machines that can see the future. I mean, we're into some different type of stuff on the show now, but I'm here for it.
00:23:21
Speaker
i am here for it. let's Let's go. i this is spoiler alert for anybody who would like to watch season two, but has not.
00:23:31
Speaker
um So, spoiler alert, spoiler alert. But I, like, I really wonder if at the end of the season two finale, did Xavier actually make it out of the bunker?
00:23:45
Speaker
First of all, why did Sinatra close the doors before she knew he was out? Like what? She could have waited a few minutes for him. Like, that's just like, why are you making him sprint?
00:23:57
Speaker
That's annoying. But like, did he ever actually make it out? I think we are to assume that he did. But did he? And then the Xavier that we're seeing, is it like a different timeline, Xavier?
00:24:08
Speaker
I don't know. Everything. I'm questioning everything now in the show. And so now we find out that Alex, the big guy, quantum physics machine is 100 miles away in a separate bunker.
00:24:23
Speaker
And so my presumption for season three is that Xavier is going to be trying to find that so that he can save the world as Sinatra has asked him to do and Link is going to be finding it so he can destroy it because that was his creation that he now believes has been misused.
00:24:43
Speaker
So i think that also is going to be like a really interesting thing that comes up for season three. One thing I really appreciate about paradise is that they are not making us wait a hundred years between season. This is not severance with five years from season to season.
00:24:58
Speaker
We will be getting season three next year. They're already shooting it, which is very exciting. So I'm just so obsessed with the show. It's like, It's just good tv And I love to see Black leads. I love to see a Black man as a wonderful as Sterling K. Brown getting his flowers and like having this huge, successful TV show that I think is like breaking records on Hulu.
00:25:25
Speaker
So... Big shouts to Paradise. If you haven't watched it, I highly recommend it. And if you have watched it, let me know in the comments what you think about how season two went, what you think is going to happen for season three.
00:25:38
Speaker
Let's have that conversation. um That's it for me today.
Future Plans for the Podcast
00:25:43
Speaker
I thank you so much for watching or listening wherever you choose to interact with this podcast.
00:25:49
Speaker
Please do like, subscribe, share, comment, all the things. All the all the engagement. I'm not trying to rage bait you. I want you to engage because you really like it.
00:26:01
Speaker
So hopefully if you did, you'll let me know. And please do connect with me on social media. I am on all the platforms, Brittany Geneva. ah And I'm on YouTube.
00:26:14
Speaker
I'm on Apple Podcasts. soon to be Spotify. Still need to get that together because it's a process, but more to come on that. i will be back soon.
00:26:26
Speaker
And just to also let y'all know, as I am continuing to settle back in to doing this on a regular basis, I will be evolving my topics, evolving my formats. There will be guests. I'm going to be having like a I don't think spinoff is the right word, but I'll be having like special episodes to talk about TV because I really I'm a huge TV watcher. I love I love watching good shows. And so I want to talk about that. So more to come on that this summer.
00:26:59
Speaker
But just to give you guys a little preview of some things that are coming down the pipeline. So get excited about that. Looking forward to that. And I will see you next time.