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33: 4 Things We Need To Talk About
21 Plays1 month ago
Today’s episode is a little different… no segments, just what’s been on my mind.
Being a Black woman in a world where women are under attack. From stories like Dr. Cerina Fairfax to everyday experiences, the pattern is clear. And the way people defend it? Even clearer.
I’m grateful for examples that show something different. KevOnStage and Victor Glover showing what it looks like to love and uplift Black women out loud.
As a DC resident, I’m not mad at TMZ being all in the mix. Scrutiny is scrutiny… and if folks are running from it, that says a lot.
Abbott Elementary spoiler alert! Watching what happened over “rules” instead of feelings… yeah, it hit a little too close to home.
Time to say the quiet parts out loud! Let’s get into it.
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Transcript
Introduction and Format Change
00:00:00
Speaker
Today on Geneva Says, got to put me first, Lucius.
00:00:18
Speaker
I am Brittany Geneva. Welcome to another episode of Geneva Says. So happy to have you here. Especially happy to have you back if you have been watching or listening every episode. You have no idea how much I appreciate this.
00:00:35
Speaker
If it's your first time, welcome. Thank you. Thanks for checking in. Thanks for tapping in with me to see what's going on. I'm super excited about today's episode because I'm mixing it up, not doing the typical segments that we normally do.
00:00:50
Speaker
I'm going to just be talking about four things that have caught my eye recently that I feel like I need to chat about. I'm bringing my energy today, my summer energy. It's finally warm in D.C.
00:01:04
Speaker
You might be able to see if you're watching my little sun kissed and slightly sunburned glow. Let this be a reminder. All black people do need sunscreen because I am sunburned. My sensitive skin.
00:01:17
Speaker
It can't take very much sun.
Focus on Victim Support in Violence Cases
00:01:19
Speaker
So anyways, first thing I want to talk about today is the safety of Black women. Yes, we need to get a little serious because this is a serious moment.
00:01:32
Speaker
You may have heard about the horrifying death of Dr. Serena Fairfax. wife of former Virginia Lieutenant Governor Justin Fairfax, who killed her and then killed himself in their home with their teenage children there.
00:01:51
Speaker
And I'm so saddened by this for so many reasons. This is actually the latest in a string of killings, particularly intimate partners, husbands or boyfriends.
00:02:06
Speaker
killing their wives or girlfriends, particularly among Black women. And one thing that has really made me sad and that I'm really angry, quite frankly, to see is the number of men who are taking this opportunity to focus on the man, the killer, and not the victim, the woman, the children.
00:02:29
Speaker
Yes, this man had things that he did in his past that were probably good things as a lieutenant governor. Maybe he helped people. I i don't really know much about his work in office.
00:02:42
Speaker
What I do know is that he had multiple accusations of sexual assault and rape. What I do know is that he actually tried to frame his wife for assault. And the only way that she was able to get off was because she had installed hidden cameras in the home.
00:02:59
Speaker
She had gotten to the point of knowing that she would need to do such a thing. What I do know is that she filed for divorce from him last year and recently was awarded custody of the children and was about to move out of the home.
00:03:14
Speaker
And it seems like this man couldn't take the possibility of his wife leaving him and taking the children with her. So instead of allowing her the agency to make the decisions that were best for her life, the entitlement that he had over her body made him decide that he was going to kill her and himself.
00:03:35
Speaker
This is not a man with mental health problems. Shut the fuck up about that. I'm to say it very clearly. Don't bring up mental health. There is no evidence that this man had a single mental health issue. And furthermore, plenty of people who are diagnosed with mental health issues do not kill people. They don't kill them their wives and themselves. So let's not go there.
00:03:59
Speaker
We're not about to mass shooter this shit the way that they say, oh, I know that young white man shot up the school with 60 people inside, but let's show a picture of him on the jet ski and talk about how he had a hard upbringing. No, we're not doing that.
00:04:17
Speaker
We're not blue lives mattering this shit.
Critique of Media Focus on Perpetrators
00:04:19
Speaker
Oh, the police officer. Yes, he had a long history of hating and killing black people, but he he's just one bad apple.
00:04:28
Speaker
Not all police officers. No, we're not doing that. And I'm hearing too much of that already. I need to call out Roland Martin, someone who I previously celebrated on this channel for having an independent journalism platform that I thought was a great example of how independent journalism is the new sort of lane of trusted storytellers since corporate media has become overrun with billionaire overlords.
00:04:58
Speaker
But now I have to sit here and say, Roland Martin, what what are you doing with that huge platform? If you want to spend time and energy celebrating your frat brother, a killer,
00:05:10
Speaker
Instead of spending time talking about how to help the family, getting a GoFundMe together for the kids, honoring the wife and the things that she has done. No, you want to sit here.
00:05:21
Speaker
Mental health, leave. No, don't bring up mental. Don't say the word. Don't fix your mouth to say mental health. Don't do that because that's exactly what they do. That's exactly what they do. We're not doing that today.
00:05:34
Speaker
That's not how we use our platforms in moments like this. Don't do. And I saw another post. Men just need to be able black men just need to be able to be vulnerable and have a emotion and share how they're feeling.
00:05:48
Speaker
Do that when it's not in regard to them killing a black woman. You have every day of the week to have. conversations on your platform about black men's mental health and about emotions and vulnerability in the black community and you choose this moment, the moment where we really need to be uplifting and mourning the another death of a black woman at the hands of her intimate partner. That's the time you want to say, well, wait, wait, wait, let's turn the conversation back to the men.
00:06:21
Speaker
That's weird. That's where it doesn't make sense to me. i don't get it. This is not the time. It's giving all lives matter. I don't like that shit.
00:06:33
Speaker
Why are you doing it? Why are
Men's Role in Changing Norms
00:06:35
Speaker
you using your platforms to uplift somebody who has killed his wife in a fit of what appears to be jealousy and entitlement?
00:06:46
Speaker
No, but show me the diagnosis. I'll, I'll make another video tomorrow when you show me the mental health diagnosis until then. no That is ridiculous.
00:06:59
Speaker
We are not going to do that in this culture, in this time of women being so vastly unprotected. CNN just did a story last month about a massive literal rape academy.
00:07:15
Speaker
Literally men logging on to the dark, dustiest corners of the internet to learn how to drug and assault their wives. Their wives!
00:07:26
Speaker
People whom presumably they stood before God and before family in the church and pledged to love them forever, only to now be online trying to figure out how to drug and assault them.
00:07:44
Speaker
And then On top of that, they're doing that. They're taking video. They're posting the videos to other dark, dusty corners of the internet and millions of men, millions, 62 million views on a website that specialized in posting such videos.
00:08:05
Speaker
What the hell? that They all had mental health issues. Everybody is mental health. Or are people just evil and disgusting and gross and feel entitled to women's bodies? How about that? How about we consider that as a possibility?
00:08:18
Speaker
Because what do you mean? Millions of men going to this website to watch that type of content. An academy for teaching men how to do that. I don't know why I'm surprised. It's the same country that elected a man who was found liable for sexual assault himself.
00:08:36
Speaker
It's the same country who elected a man who joked about grabbing women by the pussy. It's all the same society. It's all the same place and all the same culture that is enabling men to feel so empowered to do this.
00:08:55
Speaker
It's all the same culture. It's the same culture that last year when I was trying to walk to my car just a couple of blocks from the spot that I was at in downtown D.C., a girl, a stranger had to call me over to her and pretend like she was my homegirl who I, you know, oh, she's so happy to see me because she noticed a man following me to my car.
00:09:20
Speaker
I'm sad to say that I did not. and I saw him in the corner of my eye looking at me, but I didn't notice him following me. And she called me over to her. Hey, girl. And then when I got closer to her, she said, I had to make sure that you're good because that man is following you.
00:09:36
Speaker
And I realized, holy shit, he was. And he stood there for a long ass time while she and I talked until he finally left and I was able to get to my car.
00:09:48
Speaker
That all the same culture is where all of those things are happening. And that's why we choose the bear. Don't don't you i don't want to see another person in anybody's comments arguing, oh, my God, are you telling me women are really safer with bears? Yes, they don't follow me to my car.
00:10:07
Speaker
Yes, they're not killing their wives and themselves. Yes, they're not on the academy trying to learn how to assault. Yes, they're not watching videos of said assault.
00:10:20
Speaker
Give me the bear.
00:10:24
Speaker
At the end of the day, what it comes down to is men needing to hold other men accountable. i and many other women are on the Internet yelling and screaming about what we're seeing and experiencing.
00:10:38
Speaker
But that is not what's going to drive change in this world. The thing that's going to actually help things change is men looking at other men and being honest with them. What you're doing is not acceptable. What you're saying is not acceptable.
00:10:51
Speaker
The way you're acting is not acceptable. telling them, yes, it is valid for women to be concerned about their safety. And we as men need to go above and beyond to ensure that women feel safe with us.
00:11:05
Speaker
I have dated men who have let me into their thinking about this and how they go above and beyond when it comes to consent and when it goes when it comes to safety. So I've dated a man who has told me like,
00:11:20
Speaker
I know that women, you know, want a man who's going to lead and who's going to be, you know, super assertive. But I'm very much I follow the woman's lead because I don't want to do anything that can be construed as not listening to her.
00:11:38
Speaker
So I'm not touching her until she gives me the OK to touch her. I'm not kissing her until she gives me permission to kiss. I'm not doing anything until i get very obvious permission.
00:11:50
Speaker
And I appreciate that from a standpoint of somebody who is taking time to think about how to make a woman feel safe around
Positive Male Role Models
00:11:57
Speaker
him. And that's the kind of thing that men should be doing.
00:12:01
Speaker
That's how we break down the patriarchy. That's how we can actually, not all men, okay, that's just words. What are you doing? How are you moderating your own behavior?
00:12:11
Speaker
And most importantly, holding your brethren accountable, not celebrating them after they have committed a murder. But holding your brethren accountable for how they treat women and how they think about women because it starts with an attitude and a behavior.
00:12:33
Speaker
But I will... As a person who tries to come to this platform with nuance and not speaking in firmly black and white terms, and this is the second thing on my list, I also want to uplift men who are doing exactly what I just said, who are being intentional and doing things.
00:12:58
Speaker
all they can to balance out this shit that we're seeing. So I have to shout out, y'all know my favorite influencer, Kev on stage for an interview he just did on another podcast where he talked about why he's so boisterous and effusive about his love for his wife on his channel.
00:13:21
Speaker
And he does that because he wants to make sure that he balances out the things like this. And I didn't even I've been watching him for a long time, following him for a long time. And I always notice, of course, he loves Melissa. He's so crazy about her.
00:13:34
Speaker
But I didn't realize how intentional he was about really making sure that he's doing that in order to counterbalance other things that are out there about Black men not protecting Black women.
00:13:49
Speaker
And so he talked about that in the podcast. And I really appreciated the intention that he was bringing, that he's doing this with the purpose of trying to put other examples into the atmosphere.
00:14:04
Speaker
So I really appreciate that. And I think that intentionality is something to be replicated by folks who understand that you have to go beyond just saying not all men.
00:14:16
Speaker
And it has to be an action and an attitude that you live through to show that keeping Black women safe and protecting the women around you is something that you are intentionally trying So I really
TMZ Politics and Political Critique
00:14:34
Speaker
appreciate that. I also appreciate the astronaut who just got back, Artemis Victor Glover, for just being someone who took every moment that he could to uplift his wife and uplift his family. He's in space and he made sure to call her. i said, shout out to you, sir.
00:14:53
Speaker
Shout out to him for just being someone, being a Black man who has seems to really center his family, center his wife and the role that she plays in his life.
00:15:05
Speaker
And I feel like every clip that I saw that he was talking, he was bringing it back to family, bringing it back to his wife, bringing it back to his daughters. And I just thought that was really beautiful. So of course I,
00:15:17
Speaker
take the moments to celebrate those times where we see that. And I also want that to be less and less exceptional. I want that to be commonplace. I want it to be regular. I don't want it to be special. I want it to be something that we see every single day.
00:15:32
Speaker
And that is what I think it would really take to prove not all men. switching gears a little bit. The third thing that I've sort of been seeing and hearing and reflecting on is TMZ coming to DC, which I actually think is extremely dope. Y'all may recall a few episodes ago, I talked about how the journalism industry is really contracting so many people being laid off and so much less coverage of things that matter.
00:16:02
Speaker
So I'm really happy to see this messy organization turning their attention away from celebrities and silly shit to these elected officials who deserve the TMZ treatment.
00:16:18
Speaker
They deserve to be under a microscope. They deserve the scrutiny. They deserve to be, uh, picked and prodded at because they aren't doing their jobs. And that applies to the Republicans and the Democrats.
00:16:31
Speaker
The Republicans are completely abdicating their responsibility for being a check and balance against the executive branch. And the Democrats are advocating, abdicating their responsibility to do anything.
00:16:43
Speaker
Yeah, they want to keep talking about what they can't do. We don't have the numbers. I get it. But what can you do? I'll take some for performative shit. I'll take what Cory Booker did when he stood in the chamber and talked for hours at a time just to draw attention to issues and to what's going on.
00:17:03
Speaker
I'll take that. It's some type of fight. It's some type of advocacy. These folks ain't doing shit. You tweeting just like me. i can't, y'all, I can't stand when I am tweeting about something horrible and my timeline is a bunch of other lawmakers.
00:17:22
Speaker
Girl, this is, you actually can do something. Why are you tweeting? Go to work, go to Capitol Hill, do your job. What the hell?
00:17:34
Speaker
So I really love the idea that TMZ is coming to really get under these folks' skin. TMZ buys news, which is a, that's what makes them frowned upon in a traditional like legacy media space.
00:17:50
Speaker
But at the end of the day, they'll pay. They'll pay for the interview, pay for the video, pay for the footage, pay for the the documents, whatever it takes. And I appreciate them turning that energy on these do nothing ass elected officials.
00:18:05
Speaker
Like, let's let's get to it. Folks aren't already resigned. Now, I can't say, i can't prove that they resigned because TMZ is coming to town, but folks have resigned a lot, actually recently, a lot of members of Congress.
00:18:21
Speaker
And I'm like, hmm, What's that about? Get them out of here. I'm happy. Leave. I want everybody gone. I want us to start from scratch. There was a, I believe it's in Missouri. I heard about a small town that ah voted out every single one of their, d every single one of their council members because they, the council members had voted to allow a data center that the people didn't want.
00:18:47
Speaker
So they said, all y'all can go. None of y'all is representing my interests. And I'm really, really proud of that because one of the things that is true about politics is that incumbents are unduly safe.
00:19:00
Speaker
You hear about these people who have been in their seats for 20 and 30 and 40 years. Once you're in there, it's very, very hard to get somebody out of there. And so I appreciate that those voters in that small town said every single one of y'all can leave. And I wish that that would happen across every single one of these ah House and Senate seats because nobody is doing what needs to be done.
00:19:25
Speaker
maybe individuals is doing more than others, but I'm not happy with the whole. And so we need to shake every shit up.
Abbott Elementary and Relationship Norms
00:19:32
Speaker
Everybody needs to feel unsafe in their seat. And while voters may not take on that level of ah revolution, I at least hope that TMZ helps to shine more light on what these officials are and are not doing.
00:19:53
Speaker
And my last topic for the day that I wanted to chat about, spoiler alert, spoiler alert. I have to talk about Abbott Elementary. Spoiler alert. If you have not watched the latest two episodes, spoilers ah are about to happen.
00:20:08
Speaker
So... Govern yourselves accordingly. Spoiler alert. OK, Abbott Elementary, we are in the Gregory and Janine breakup timeline right now. I don't know how I feel about it.
00:20:23
Speaker
I feel like from a like writing perspective, it feels a little rushed. I feel like they've never really argued and now they had a breakup level argument over a trip.
00:20:36
Speaker
But yes, Gregory was being a broke boy, just like remember when Barbara's daughter said he was a broke boy. He's living up to that name. Talking about driving 16 hours will be cheaper than flying.
00:20:48
Speaker
Says who? Have you seen the gas prices, baby? Yeah, I promise you won't really save that much money. But anyways, he wants to be broke. He trying not to fly instead of drive.
00:21:00
Speaker
And Janine's like, no, we can just fly. And I don't mind buying the plane tickets if you feel that strongly about it. And suddenly she's irresponsible with money and then suddenly they're broken up. I'm like, whoa, that escalated quickly. And so that was the last episode or the second to last episode. And I was hoping they were going to get together like immediately.
00:21:20
Speaker
Like, okay, last night or this past Wednesday's episode, ah let's let's get to the to the reuniting, you know? So i I'm a little disappointed to see that this is going to last a while.
00:21:34
Speaker
But if there is one good thing that I can take away from it that I appreciate was that in the episode that came on, I'm saying this week, and I have to remember that this is going to air a week later. So the episode that came on, like, what is today?
00:21:51
Speaker
ah April Okay. That episode... They both Gregory and Janine were talking to their friends and acknowledging that they wanted to get back together, but they weren't doing it because they were they weren't reaching out to one another because they were following like some outdated rules.
00:22:11
Speaker
Janine was saying, you know, I said I wanted to break up and he didn't fight me, so I just have to leave it alone. and And Gregory was saying, well, she said she wanted to break up and I was always taught don't push a woman if she says she doesn't want to be with you anymore.
00:22:25
Speaker
And I'm like, OK, what Gen X boomer gave you these rules and why are you following them? Why don't you do what you want to do If you want to get back together, call. If you want to be back together, get back together. Like, huh?
00:22:38
Speaker
And it really reminds me of just this landscape of all these rules and guidelines and dating and advice and gurus and blah, blah, blah. Girl, do what you want to do. And get out of your head and start feeling. How do you feel? Not what do you think? How do you feel? That's something I've had to do myself is to get myself out of my head to say, how do I feel about a situation? And not necessarily what do I think about a situation?
00:23:02
Speaker
Especially if you if you're intellectual, you can think yourself into anything. Any outcome can be made to make sense. How do you feel? What is your body telling you? And if you feel like something is the right thing to do, then go do it.
00:23:17
Speaker
instead of listening to rules that were made by people who once stood to probably benefit or profit from the sale of said rule and who aren't necessarily following the rules themselves.
00:23:29
Speaker
So it was that's the interesting piece, a little commentary or something that stood out to me that applies to sort of the dating landscape today. But I'm very curious to see what happens. By the time this episode comes out, there will have been one more episode of Abbott Elementary. So i hope they get back together. I don't want this to last any longer. I'm tired. I don't want it.
Conclusion and Future Changes
00:23:53
Speaker
Get them back together so we can go. You guys know I can't escape an episode without a little bit of TV talk. So I had to end it with a little bit of Abbott Elementary. ah Thank you so much for watching. Thank you for listening. I hope that you enjoyed this slightly different episode today. um we and.
00:24:10
Speaker
I'm planning upcoming episodes. This is when we're going to start to really mix it up. We're getting guests. We're diving into other topics. We're about to really start branching out into new things as we get into the summer. So I'm really excited about that.
00:24:25
Speaker
Really appreciate you. Please, as always, connect with me on social media. I'm at Brittany Geneva on all of the things. I would love to talk to you. What do you think about everything I talked about today? What do you think about a elementary? What do you think about all this shit? i want know.
00:24:39
Speaker
so Tell me, leave your comments, leave your thoughts. want to connect with you. Please subscribe wherever you are listening or watching this. And I'm looking forward to seeing you again soon.