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Letters from The Front (Doom 3: Worlds on Fire - Part 2)
9 Plays7 months ago
It's a cold day in Fredericksburg and we are marching to the front, where we shall encounter glory, or DOOM! I don't know where this bit is going.
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Synopsis
The year is 2144...and the battle over Earth's precious resources has raged for a century. With global economies in ruins and all-out world war more than a possibility, the U.S government turned to the Union Aerospace Corporation, giving it carte blanche on the legendary red planet of Mars in a desperate bid to construct an off-world outpost that might provide resources, a military advantage...as well as something so secret that even members of government don't have a clue about it....
Special Ops Marine Lieutenant John Kane was once a careerist simply glad to have a job, and couldn't care less about politics just as long as Uncle Sam's check cleared. But that was before he listened to his conscience and disobeyed a direct order. Busted down to private, Kane has been reassigned to the "U.S. Space Marines" -- the private army of the UAC -- with the prospect of becoming little more than a glorified security guard on Mars....
Now Lt. Kane's fate leads him to Mars City -- part environmental community, part lab center, and all owned and protected by the UAC. It's a strange world with a fatal environment, and the thousands who live and work within the city have already begun to think of themselves as Martians. And away from Mars City, at the strange ancient sites uncovered on the planet, a small squad of marines stand guard while scientists uncover wall glyphs and search for artifacts, having already found something that is so far amazing and inexplicable -- including the relic called "U1," nicknamed "the Soul Cube" -- and unknown to all, the bringer of destructive chaos and unspeakable horror....
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and First Impressions
00:00:00
Speaker
Yes.
00:00:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:02
Speaker
And her dad looks like a fucking mobster.
00:00:06
Speaker
She brought she brought him to some some I think it was her movie.
00:00:10
Speaker
And I was like, Jesus Christ, dude.
00:00:12
Speaker
And she's like introducing him to the press.
00:00:13
Speaker
And I'm like, he looks like he squashed your head like an egg.
00:00:16
Speaker
Like he's like, I see what she saw.
00:00:19
Speaker
And I'm Jesus.
00:00:21
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:00:23
Speaker
You know, this is a mobster.
00:00:25
Speaker
Who's that?
Doom 3 and Patreon Promotion
00:00:27
Speaker
Hey there, everybody.
00:00:27
Speaker
Welcome back to Pixel.
00:00:28
Speaker
My name is Kevin.
00:00:29
Speaker
With me as always is Phil.
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Speaker
And on today's show, we're continuing on Doom 3.
00:00:35
Speaker
The worlds are on fire.
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Speaker
The worlds are on fire.
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They're on fire.
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And everyone knows it.
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And everybody knows it.
00:00:43
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Strong desire.
00:00:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:50
Speaker
There's no way we can get around that, right?
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Like, it has to be done at least once.
00:00:53
Speaker
There's no way we can get around that.
00:00:55
Speaker
Right.
00:00:55
Speaker
No, that's not possible.
00:00:57
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Yeah.
00:00:58
Speaker
So, Phil, how you doing?
00:01:01
Speaker
How's this week treating you?
00:01:03
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Good week?
00:01:04
Speaker
It's been good so far, but it's only Monday.
00:01:07
Speaker
It is only Monday, Lennon.
00:01:10
Speaker
There's plenty.
00:01:10
Speaker
Yeah, there's plenty of time for everything to go south, which I reminded one of my coworkers about, and she did not appreciate that.
00:01:16
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She did not appreciate that.
00:01:18
Speaker
They're all very young.
00:01:19
Speaker
I work with very young people.
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Speaker
Most of them are Generation Z, and they're all very young.
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And one of them, I said, well, don't worry.
00:01:29
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There's always a chance for everything to go fucking south.
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And she was like, Phil.
00:01:33
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And I was like, oh, what?
00:01:34
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:01:35
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Am I not supposed to tell you the horrible, horrible truth about life?
00:01:38
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I thought I was the old guy here.
00:01:40
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I thought that was my job.
00:01:41
Speaker
Yeah.
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They were not pleased.
00:01:43
Speaker
So...
00:01:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:01:45
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Yeah.
00:01:46
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What about you?
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How's your Monday been?
00:01:49
Speaker
It's actually been pretty good.
00:01:51
Speaker
Pretty, pretty, pretty good.
00:01:55
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And I have to say, you know what made my Monday even better is the website patreon.com slash pixelatedpod where you can go and have a good time.
00:02:07
Speaker
Not that kind of time, but maybe.
00:02:09
Speaker
Don't do that.
00:02:09
Speaker
But maybe.
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Speaker
But maybe.
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Speaker
But maybe.
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Speaker
Not at our expense, but possibly.
00:02:15
Speaker
But possibly?
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Speaker
Yeah.
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But you go there and follow us for free on Patreon dot com slash Pixelipod.
00:02:20
Speaker
Go ahead.
00:02:20
Speaker
Follow us for free.
00:02:21
Speaker
One dollar gets you in the door for for posts.
00:02:25
Speaker
Five dollars gets you the ad free episodes and the bonus episodes.
00:02:29
Speaker
Now, I know you're listening out there listening to say, hey, Kevin hasn't posted the bonus episodes in a while.
00:02:35
Speaker
And I am aware of that because I am trying to fix something with the bonus feed.
00:02:41
Speaker
And it is it is being stubborn.
00:02:44
Speaker
But you have a plethora.
00:02:46
Speaker
You're going to have it's going to be like a fire hose at your face of bonus episodes.
00:02:50
Speaker
Once I once I get that figured out, fire hose at the face.
00:02:53
Speaker
Ten dollars.
00:02:55
Speaker
Get your name shouted out in every episode.
00:02:57
Speaker
We have a new person on the list.
00:02:59
Speaker
Guess who it is.
00:03:01
Speaker
Guess.
00:03:01
Speaker
Guess which one is the new person as I read through.
00:03:03
Speaker
Yes.
00:03:03
Speaker
See if you can figure it out.
00:03:04
Speaker
Jesus.
00:03:05
Speaker
Jesus loves you.
00:03:06
Speaker
Kyle Seaman, Ruthless Mudder, Middle of Things, Sigma Sal, My Dad Nuts in Me.
00:03:13
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I forgot.
00:03:15
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I forgot.
Humor and Nostalgia
00:03:18
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Beaks, dumb and thick.
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Speaker
Langelier and friendly friend.
00:03:22
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Thank you for being friends.
00:03:25
Speaker
Kevin sent me, he sent me a screen cap and he's like, I think they're just fucking with me, trying to get me to say all these things.
00:03:32
Speaker
And I, and I completely forgot until you said it again.
00:03:37
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Jesus tap dancing Christ.
00:03:40
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I love our fans.
00:03:41
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I love you guys so freaking much.
00:03:43
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I don't know if I've told you that lately, but.
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You're great.
00:03:48
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Wonderful fans.
00:03:49
Speaker
Best fans in the world.
00:03:50
Speaker
Best fans.
00:03:51
Speaker
Best fans ever.
00:03:51
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You pay $10, you get me to say things that are things.
00:04:00
Speaker
They are things.
00:04:01
Speaker
They are indeed.
00:04:04
Speaker
They are indeed.
00:04:06
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So, Phil, we're just going to go ahead and put the body in the marsh, then.
00:04:10
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Let's do it.
00:04:11
Speaker
Let's marsh that body.
00:04:13
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When I tell you to dump a body in the marsh,
00:04:18
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You dump them in the marsh.
00:04:21
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Mash that body.
00:04:23
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Mash that body.
00:04:25
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Mash that body.
00:04:27
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We're in part two, which takes place in the year 2145.
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It's exactly one year after the events of the other part.
00:04:36
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Chapter 15 is a note from Kellen McDonald.
00:04:41
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Brief note talking about moving from animal testing to human testing, despite things going wrong with the animal tests and how his wife wants him to come home.
00:04:51
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Yeah.
00:04:52
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I don't think you're coming.
00:04:53
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I don't think you're going home, buddy.
00:04:55
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It has classic Resident Evil journal entry vibes.
00:05:00
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Yeah.
00:05:00
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Just just perfect.
00:05:02
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Yeah.
00:05:03
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100 percent.
00:05:05
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He's going to he's going to be itchy tasting in a couple of days.
Doom 3 Deep Dive
00:05:10
Speaker
Yes.
00:05:10
Speaker
Yes.
00:05:11
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Buddy, get ready to learn itchy tasty.
00:05:13
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Oh, my God.
00:05:15
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Absolutely.
00:05:17
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I think if I ever make a horror podcast, just a straight up horror, I will call it Itchy Tasty.
00:05:22
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I just want to get that recorded so I can be held to account for that.
00:05:28
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Oh, I 100% agree.
00:05:30
Speaker
Once this becomes a real job for us, here's the thing, folks.
00:05:34
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If this was a real job for us, we would have like five more podcasts.
00:05:38
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Yeah.
00:05:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:39
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The level of side projects we would have would be irresponsible, let's say.
00:05:46
Speaker
Irresponsible.
00:05:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:48
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Pixelitpod.com or patreon.com slash pixelitpod.
00:05:53
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Make it happen.
00:05:54
Speaker
Chapter 16, the new Pentagon in Laramie, Wyoming.
00:06:01
Speaker
And here's the thing about Laramie is that I can only think of the cigarette brand from the Simpsons.
00:06:08
Speaker
Uh-huh.
00:06:10
Speaker
That's pretty much it, isn't it?
00:06:11
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Yeah.
00:06:12
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Because that's where my brain goes, too.
00:06:15
Speaker
Is Laramie.
00:06:17
Speaker
Laramie cigarettes.
00:06:21
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Kane meets his lawyer, Captain Furtada.
00:06:26
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:06:28
Speaker
Who gives him the whole rundown of what to expect at the trial.
00:06:31
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They go to trial and his lawyer is like, hey, let my guy explain what happens.
00:06:38
Speaker
But there's a sudden twist.
00:06:40
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The prosecution has a deal for him and they retire to a private room where the offer is that in light of his attempt to save lives, he can sign a deal to serve in the Space Marines.
00:06:52
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He's knocked down to private and he's got to do it for 10 years.
00:06:58
Speaker
It's either this or face.
00:07:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:00
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Go on.
00:07:02
Speaker
Or face what?
00:07:02
Speaker
Face the tribunal, which could end up in the death penalty.
00:07:07
Speaker
And I feel like they actually saved his ass, not just for the obvious reason, but for we know what this guy is responsible for.
00:07:17
Speaker
And the lawyer wanted him to tell them.
00:07:21
Speaker
uh what he did which i think would be like oh yeah we're gonna have to execute you right the fuck now you are the worst marine of all time right uh for those of you who don't remember he basically just killed a bunch of his people for no good damn reason he he killed his his unit to save another unit basically and then it i mean maybe we're looking at this all wrong like well you can't just like measure the the
00:07:45
Speaker
the, the numbers versus the numbers and be like, okay, well his actions cost more lives than not doing the thing.
00:07:54
Speaker
Right.
00:07:56
Speaker
You got a net.
00:07:56
Speaker
You still had a net loss there and yeah, more people died.
00:08:01
Speaker
How about that?
00:08:02
Speaker
How about that?
00:08:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:03
Speaker
How about them apples?
00:08:05
Speaker
Um, so yeah, Kane's like, okay, fine.
00:08:08
Speaker
Uh, and his lawyer's like, all right, well, I hear they're doing some weird shit up there and people have gone missing.
00:08:14
Speaker
Good luck.
00:08:15
Speaker
You'll be leaving in 48 hours, by the way.
00:08:17
Speaker
You're leaving in 48 hours.
00:08:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:08:20
Speaker
Chapter 17, Delta Lab.
00:08:22
Speaker
Delta Lab.
Pop Culture and Body Horror
00:08:24
Speaker
God damn it.
00:08:30
Speaker
Truger is musing about the first human transport experiment, which seemingly had gone well until the Marine opened his mouth and revealed that he no longer had a tongue or teeth and his throat was just a fountain of blood.
00:08:44
Speaker
This is this is keeping in with the theme of like
00:08:49
Speaker
the thing that I liked the most in this, which was the same thing that I liked the most in his last book.
00:08:54
Speaker
This dude can make some freaky ass shit.
00:08:57
Speaker
Like he's good at the gore and the spooky body horror stuff.
00:09:01
Speaker
And that's something that really does near and dear to my heart go.
00:09:06
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:09:07
Speaker
Later they'll, they'll like expand.
00:09:09
Speaker
He'll expand upon this particular instance as basically the guy vomited his insides and
00:09:18
Speaker
Out.
00:09:19
Speaker
Right.
00:09:19
Speaker
Right.
00:09:21
Speaker
Fucking gnarly.
00:09:22
Speaker
It's it's very cool.
00:09:24
Speaker
It's it's it's just it's well done.
00:09:26
Speaker
It's gross.
00:09:26
Speaker
I liked it.
00:09:27
Speaker
He's like, who's fine.
00:09:28
Speaker
And then he turned inside out.
00:09:30
Speaker
Right.
00:09:31
Speaker
Right.
00:09:32
Speaker
Much like that's how they get you.
00:09:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:34
Speaker
Much like a little boy who goes over the top of the swing set.
00:09:39
Speaker
He turned inside out.
00:09:43
Speaker
Or the gas that turns you inside out.
00:09:45
Speaker
Or the gas that turns you inside out.
00:09:48
Speaker
One sniff of that gas and you're inside out.
00:09:54
Speaker
Sorry.
00:09:55
Speaker
If I'm going to do a Simpsons reference, it needs to be a relatively obscure one.
00:10:00
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:10:00
Speaker
You remember Inside Out Boy, right?
00:10:05
Speaker
It's... Oh, shit.
00:10:07
Speaker
Core memory unlocked.
00:10:09
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:10:10
Speaker
Hold on.
00:10:10
Speaker
Hold on.
00:10:10
Speaker
I have to...
00:10:12
Speaker
Because I think I do.
00:10:15
Speaker
Yes.
00:10:16
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:10:17
Speaker
Wasn't this on Nickelodeon?
00:10:18
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:19
Speaker
The kid went over.
00:10:21
Speaker
The kid swung over the swing set and he turned inside out.
00:10:27
Speaker
I knew that you were referencing something that I knew.
00:10:31
Speaker
Holy shit.
00:10:33
Speaker
I haven't seen this in forever.
00:10:35
Speaker
Oh, so cool.
00:10:36
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:36
Speaker
Because he looks like Calvin from Calvin Hobbes glasses.
00:10:39
Speaker
Yeah, he does.
00:10:40
Speaker
It's also like, wow.
00:10:43
Speaker
Just like the God, what weird shit they had on Nickelodeon.
00:10:50
Speaker
They said, yeah, just fine.
00:10:51
Speaker
Fuck it.
00:10:52
Speaker
Put it on there.
00:10:53
Speaker
I don't care.
00:10:53
Speaker
Put it on there.
00:10:54
Speaker
Sounds good.
00:10:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:10:56
Speaker
He's inside out.
00:10:57
Speaker
He's inside out.
00:10:58
Speaker
That's it's it's it's not particularly graphic, but it's absolutely what they've advertised on the tin.
00:11:07
Speaker
So it's it's kind of it's kind of shocking.
00:11:11
Speaker
He's yeah.
00:11:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:15
Speaker
Anyway, he's inside out boy.
00:11:17
Speaker
They make a real inside out boy or a or the gas from the Simpsons, whichever one you want to pick, whichever early 90s reference you want.
00:11:27
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
00:11:28
Speaker
Whichever one just touches you.
00:11:30
Speaker
Whichever one works for you.
00:11:33
Speaker
Or there's also a scene in, I want to say, Reanimator part three where God,
00:11:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:44
Speaker
A guy who's there's a guy who's alive, who injects himself with the stuff thinking it's drugs and he turns inside out and just becomes like a living nervous system or something like that.
00:11:56
Speaker
Oh, man, that's cool as shit.
00:11:57
Speaker
I only ever saw the first one of those.
00:11:59
Speaker
I think I don't think I was even fully aware that there was a third one.
00:12:04
Speaker
Yeah, it's just like straight up after after the first one, it just becomes straight up like special effects, body horror shenanigans.
00:12:12
Speaker
Does
Actor Tributes and Versatile Careers
00:12:13
Speaker
it still have the one guy, the guy who played the doctor?
00:12:16
Speaker
They all have.
00:12:17
Speaker
Yeah, they all have Herbert West in them.
00:12:18
Speaker
I think he's he is excellent.
00:12:20
Speaker
He is.
00:12:20
Speaker
I don't think you can do it without what what's his fuck?
00:12:23
Speaker
The guy, the Herbert West guy.
00:12:25
Speaker
Right.
00:12:25
Speaker
I just I just wanted to make sure they didn't recast him or something.
00:12:28
Speaker
Because that guy rules reanimator.
00:12:34
Speaker
Jeffrey Combs.
00:12:35
Speaker
There we go.
00:12:36
Speaker
Jeffrey Combs.
00:12:36
Speaker
We've not the first time we've talked about him on this.
00:12:39
Speaker
Not the first time we've talked about Jeffrey Combs.
00:12:44
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:12:46
Speaker
All right.
00:12:47
Speaker
And.
00:12:49
Speaker
Who's the.
00:12:52
Speaker
Who's the other guy?
00:12:53
Speaker
The old man.
00:12:57
Speaker
David Gale.
00:12:58
Speaker
David Gale.
00:13:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:01
Speaker
Who's in the guyver?
00:13:05
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:13:06
Speaker
Okay.
00:13:07
Speaker
Geez.
00:13:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:08
Speaker
Wow.
00:13:10
Speaker
Uh, anyway, um, inside out boy, uh, we're in, uh, the second.
00:13:18
Speaker
Oh, then they do another experiment, uh, with another guy and it seems totally fine.
00:13:24
Speaker
But then the guy loses his mind and takes a chunk out of one of the nurses and they have to like strap them down.
00:13:30
Speaker
Um, sure.
00:13:31
Speaker
So he loses, he's, it's instead of vomiting up his insides, he just, uh,
00:13:37
Speaker
Uh, becomes it unstable.
00:13:42
Speaker
Uh, he was trying to add more insights to him.
00:13:44
Speaker
Uh, in preparation basically.
00:13:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:47
Speaker
Sort of like the Reavers.
00:13:49
Speaker
Uh, yeah.
00:13:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:50
Speaker
They want, they just add stuff to them.
00:13:53
Speaker
We cut to Maria, who is eating lunch with Andy Kim, Deuce Howard and Rodriguez.
00:13:59
Speaker
The first two of those having been promoted since they started.
00:14:04
Speaker
Rodriguez flirts with her a little bit and they dump on him and they all have a laugh.
00:14:08
Speaker
They're like, ah, Rodriguez, you suck so much.
00:14:11
Speaker
It's pretty much the scene.
00:14:13
Speaker
That's pretty much it.
00:14:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:14
Speaker
And Rodriguez is like, hey, I hear they're looking for another volunteer over for a Delta Lab thing.
00:14:21
Speaker
Then we cut to Growlick, Dr. Axel Growlick.
00:14:25
Speaker
She is being mean to a Marine who is leading the extra security detail she requested.
00:14:31
Speaker
But actually, you know, rightfully so.
00:14:33
Speaker
The Marine was just kind of fucking standing around with his thumb up his ass.
00:14:36
Speaker
And she's like, just do something useful.
00:14:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:14:40
Speaker
It's a valid complaint.
00:14:41
Speaker
I will say it was a valid complaint.
00:14:44
Speaker
She was she's like, could you just not be in the way of people moving equipment?
00:14:49
Speaker
If you're if you're not going to protect us and shit, maybe don't stand in the way of that.
00:14:55
Speaker
It's like position.
00:14:57
Speaker
And she starts telling him where it's like position your guys here, here and here.
00:15:01
Speaker
And he's like, OK, yes, ma'am.
00:15:04
Speaker
Yes, ma'am.
00:15:06
Speaker
On the way, ma'am.
00:15:08
Speaker
We go to chapter 18 at the Denver Space Hub.
00:15:11
Speaker
Kane is sitting on the ship and he meets a guy named Tobias Smith, a.k.a.
00:15:15
Speaker
Smitty.
00:15:16
Speaker
Poor Tobias.
00:15:17
Speaker
Poor Smitty.
00:15:18
Speaker
Poor Smitty.
00:15:19
Speaker
Sweet guy.
00:15:20
Speaker
Sweet guy.
00:15:22
Speaker
I don't think he's going to live through this.
00:15:23
Speaker
I don't think so either.
00:15:27
Speaker
Oh, boy.
00:15:28
Speaker
You're too sweet for doom.
00:15:30
Speaker
You're too sweet for doom.
00:15:32
Speaker
The less popular version of Hozier's song.
00:15:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:40
Speaker
Kane, by the way, tried to find a seat where nobody would sit next to him.
00:15:43
Speaker
And then this guy sat next to him.
00:15:45
Speaker
Oh, man.
00:15:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:47
Speaker
And he's just cold as shit.
00:15:48
Speaker
He's like, he's like, just, he literally at some point goes, maybe we should just sit and enjoy the ride or something like that.
00:15:55
Speaker
It's just, I bet you shut the fuck up for like, shut the fuck up for five minutes.
00:15:59
Speaker
And this is like, I don't know.
00:16:01
Speaker
This doesn't really endear me to Kane.
00:16:03
Speaker
Like, are, are, are we really going to, are we not going to get like a save the cat moment with Kane where we're like really endeared to him as a character?
00:16:12
Speaker
I think that the author thought that that's what the whole first part was.
00:16:18
Speaker
I think that's the impression he got.
00:16:19
Speaker
And I have to aggressively disagree.
00:16:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:24
Speaker
But you're right.
00:16:25
Speaker
I guess this is meant to – but that's all part of the early aughts kind of shit.
00:16:31
Speaker
The thing that impresses you is the fact that you're such a badass.
00:16:35
Speaker
No.
00:16:36
Speaker
He told that guy to fuck off.
00:16:38
Speaker
It's like, sounds like a jerk.
00:16:40
Speaker
It sounds like a jerk.
00:16:41
Speaker
It's like, this is not, you're not judge dread, buddy.
00:16:45
Speaker
You don't got the cachet.
00:16:47
Speaker
None whatsoever.
00:16:48
Speaker
And you're not Carl Urban either.
00:16:50
Speaker
Even though Carl Urban played an equivalent character to you in the movie.
00:16:54
Speaker
Right.
00:16:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:56
Speaker
You're not.
00:16:56
Speaker
But you're not is the point.
00:16:58
Speaker
But you're not.
00:16:59
Speaker
To be specific, you are not Carl Urban.
00:17:01
Speaker
To be perfectly clear, you are not Carl Urban.
00:17:06
Speaker
Not even Thor Carl Urban.
00:17:08
Speaker
No, not even Thor Carl Urban.
00:17:12
Speaker
It's hard to say.
00:17:12
Speaker
It's a harder name to say than I thought.
00:17:14
Speaker
Carl Urban.
00:17:16
Speaker
Carl Urban.
00:17:17
Speaker
Carl Urban.
00:17:18
Speaker
Not even a Star Trek Carl Urban.
00:17:21
Speaker
Oh, very good.
00:17:23
Speaker
He played where he was bones.
00:17:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:26
Speaker
I always forget that.
00:17:27
Speaker
And he was really good too.
00:17:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:30
Speaker
He was probably one of the best, uh, uh, best guys on that cast.
00:17:34
Speaker
Oh, he was terrific.
00:17:35
Speaker
I gotta say that cast was pretty, pretty solid.
00:17:38
Speaker
I think the movie suffers from, I think the movie mostly suffers in hindsight from JJ Abrams bullshit.
00:17:45
Speaker
It has a, it has a terminal case of JJ Abrams bullshit.
00:17:49
Speaker
Uh, that is, uh,
00:17:50
Speaker
That is true.
00:17:52
Speaker
They did their best.
00:17:54
Speaker
And it's a fun movie.
00:17:55
Speaker
It's a popcorn movie, but it's not Star Trek.
00:17:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:58
Speaker
And I say that as a person who really doesn't watch Star Trek.
00:18:01
Speaker
And even I watched it and went, this isn't really Star Trek, though, right?
00:18:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:11
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:18:11
Speaker
He was in Lord of the Rings.
00:18:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:13
Speaker
That guy's had a really crazy career.
00:18:16
Speaker
He's been he's been at it since the early 90s.
00:18:19
Speaker
Nope.
00:18:22
Speaker
And I mean, obviously the last couple of years is is mostly the boys, the boys.
00:18:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:31
Speaker
Then providing.
00:18:33
Speaker
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
00:18:34
Speaker
The boys and the other video game arc.
00:18:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:40
Speaker
Oh, I didn't know that.
00:18:41
Speaker
I didn't know he was in that one.
00:18:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:42
Speaker
He's a character in that.
00:18:43
Speaker
But other than that, yeah.
00:18:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:47
Speaker
And he's a stormtrooper in Star Wars Episode IX.
00:18:51
Speaker
What, like one of the cameos?
00:18:53
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:18:54
Speaker
Because I feel like a few people did cameos as stormtroopers.
00:18:57
Speaker
Sure.
00:18:58
Speaker
Like uncredited stormtroopers in those movies.
00:19:01
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:19:01
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:19:02
Speaker
I think, yeah, yeah.
00:19:03
Speaker
There were a few of them.
00:19:04
Speaker
I think, what's his name?
00:19:05
Speaker
Daniel Craig, I think, did it as well.
00:19:07
Speaker
That's just what I was going to say.
00:19:09
Speaker
I think he was the only one that I think I knew by name.
00:19:12
Speaker
Yes.
00:19:13
Speaker
And he also, he might be one of the only ones that speaks.
00:19:16
Speaker
Like you can actually hear his voice at one point.
00:19:19
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:19:19
Speaker
Okay.
00:19:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:22
Speaker
What are you supposed to do if you get the chance to be in a Star Wars movie?
00:19:25
Speaker
They're like, we can just put you in a storm.
00:19:27
Speaker
Even if it's going to be a shitty Star Wars movie.
00:19:30
Speaker
If you asked me tomorrow if I could be in a Star Wars movie, I'd be like, yeah.
00:19:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:38
Speaker
It's only 10 minutes long and it's just two Ewoks sucking each other off and you're in the background.
00:19:43
Speaker
Great.
00:19:44
Speaker
Fine.
00:19:44
Speaker
Is it canon?
00:19:45
Speaker
I'm in.
00:19:47
Speaker
If I'm in the canon.
00:19:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:19:50
Speaker
I don't care.
00:19:51
Speaker
I don't care.
00:19:52
Speaker
Tell Dave Filoni that I'm in.
00:19:56
Speaker
Somebody's going to write fanfic about me.
00:19:57
Speaker
This is how it works.
00:19:59
Speaker
Everyone finds some random guy.
00:20:01
Speaker
I am the guy in the background who is arguing about whether my blue milk is curdled.
00:20:08
Speaker
Right.
00:20:12
Speaker
speaking some alien language that sounds dangerously close to a cultural stereotype that I'm very uncomfortable with.
00:20:20
Speaker
Very uncomfortable with.
00:20:21
Speaker
But somebody will write a book about me.
00:20:24
Speaker
Like the Tales from Mos Eisley Cantina.
00:20:28
Speaker
Yes, exactly.
00:20:29
Speaker
It was basically like published fan fiction for all the characters.
00:20:33
Speaker
All the characters that you did not know existed.
00:20:35
Speaker
Like, yeah.
00:20:38
Speaker
And it's great.
00:20:39
Speaker
It's great.
00:20:40
Speaker
Well, well, it's fine.
00:20:41
Speaker
It's fine.
00:20:42
Speaker
I mean, but it was growing up.
00:20:44
Speaker
It was one of my favorite weird, weird off like random books from the Star Wars books.
00:20:50
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:20:51
Speaker
It's super fun.
00:20:52
Speaker
Yeah, that's that was that was cool shit.
00:20:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:58
Speaker
Anyway, chapter 19.
00:21:01
Speaker
We're on Delta Lab.
00:21:02
Speaker
Delta Lab.
00:21:03
Speaker
I'm going to do that every time now.
00:21:05
Speaker
I think you have to.
00:21:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:08
Speaker
But Truger has put the Delta Delta Lab in double secret probation, wondering who the traitor is and is sending materials back to Kelleher.
00:21:19
Speaker
Meanwhile, Axel is investigating markings at the dig site, reminiscing about how Dr. Petruger started making her run everything through him, including giving him an artifact that they found and labeled you one.
00:21:34
Speaker
Stein asks her if he can dig deeper because the markings seem to originate from further below.
00:21:40
Speaker
Meanwhile, McDonald is investigating one of the transport pods when Ishii comes by and announces that they got another volunteer for testing.
00:21:49
Speaker
Ishii wants them to try and stop the test, but McDonald is like, I don't think we can.
00:21:57
Speaker
I don't know if that's something we can do.
00:21:59
Speaker
But you're going to interrupts and ask them if everything is all right.
00:22:01
Speaker
And they just go quietly, get back to work.
00:22:04
Speaker
The test will be midday tomorrow.
00:22:08
Speaker
Chapter 20, Palo Alto, California.
00:22:13
Speaker
Kelleher watches a recording from McDonald, who is warning Keller of the impending test.
00:22:18
Speaker
Did you notice the seventh guest reference in this chapter?
00:22:22
Speaker
No.
00:22:23
Speaker
What did I miss?
00:22:25
Speaker
The code word to unencrypt the thing is stauf.
00:22:33
Speaker
Oh, for fuck's sake.
00:22:36
Speaker
I'm not going to act like I read these things crazy close, but I can't believe I missed that.
00:22:43
Speaker
That's absurd.
00:22:45
Speaker
And I'm frustrated with myself.
00:22:47
Speaker
Holy shit.
00:22:47
Speaker
That's funny.
00:22:48
Speaker
Codename staff.
00:22:50
Speaker
And I was like, I was like, oh my God.
00:22:53
Speaker
He snuck a reference to seventh guests in the zoom three.
00:23:01
Speaker
One of these things is not like the other.
00:23:05
Speaker
Wow.
00:23:07
Speaker
Kelleher spends the rest of the chapter thinking, yeah, shit sucks, but maybe it doesn't.
00:23:14
Speaker
It's real Owen Wilson in Royal Tenenbaums energy.
00:23:18
Speaker
Very much that.
00:23:19
Speaker
Yes.
00:23:20
Speaker
Everyone knows Custer died at the Battle of Little Bighorn.
00:23:24
Speaker
But what my book presupposes is that he didn't.
00:23:27
Speaker
I need to watch that again.
00:23:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:34
Speaker
As a Gene Hackman.
00:23:36
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:23:37
Speaker
As a salute.
00:23:38
Speaker
A salute to Gene Hackman.
00:23:40
Speaker
Watch Royal Tenenbaums.
00:23:42
Speaker
Oh, do it.
00:23:42
Speaker
Absolutely.
00:23:44
Speaker
God.
00:23:44
Speaker
He was something else, wasn't he?
00:23:46
Speaker
He was great.
00:23:48
Speaker
I don't think there was really many guys who were that...
00:23:51
Speaker
That much like a force on like you had to pay attention to him.
00:23:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:23:58
Speaker
And yet shockingly versatile.
00:24:00
Speaker
Yes.
00:24:01
Speaker
Crazy versatile.
00:24:03
Speaker
Very flexible.
00:24:03
Speaker
Could do a lot of shit.
00:24:05
Speaker
We we we we toasted him with a bird cage.
00:24:09
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:24:10
Speaker
Like my wife's favorite movie of all time.
00:24:12
Speaker
And he is so good in it.
00:24:14
Speaker
Like we all know that the stars of the show are Nathan Lane and Robin Williams, but he's so fucking good.
00:24:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:21
Speaker
So, yeah, that's worth a watch if you guys haven't seen it in a while.
00:24:25
Speaker
Yeah, I should throw that on and maybe French Connection.
00:24:32
Speaker
Also pretty good.
00:24:34
Speaker
Got to do that.
00:24:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:35
Speaker
It's he plays a plays a cop.
00:24:38
Speaker
It's like Gina Hackman was was playing kind of old for pretty much his entire career.
00:24:44
Speaker
Pretty much his whole life.
00:24:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:24:46
Speaker
His whole life was he was not he was never a young man.
00:24:49
Speaker
No.
00:24:50
Speaker
He played in French Connections in 19 from 1971.
00:24:52
Speaker
So, you know, 54 years.
00:24:58
Speaker
years ago and he's playing like a grizzled old cop.
00:25:03
Speaker
Right, right.
00:25:04
Speaker
Of course, he was like a thousand years old when he died.
00:25:07
Speaker
He was almost 100.
00:25:07
Speaker
Yeah, that's true.
00:25:10
Speaker
At least he was closer to 100 than most of us will ever get.
00:25:13
Speaker
So he was in his 40s.
00:25:15
Speaker
And as we have learned, being in your 40s 50 years ago really hit different.
00:25:23
Speaker
Oh, big time.
00:25:24
Speaker
Yeah, yeah.
00:25:26
Speaker
Wow.
00:25:28
Speaker
We were talking about the younger female celebrities aging themselves up that they were playing the home game in those days.
00:25:34
Speaker
Like that's how that worked.
00:25:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:36
Speaker
It's just what it was.
00:25:37
Speaker
Yeah.
00:25:38
Speaker
By the time you hit 40, you were you you looked like you never were young.
00:25:49
Speaker
the Benjamin button and came out of the womb, a disgusting, dirty old man.
00:25:55
Speaker
Poor one out to Gene Hackman.
00:25:57
Speaker
Oh, yes.
00:25:58
Speaker
Oh, yes.
Doom 3 Story Analysis
00:26:00
Speaker
They did a little tribute to him last night.
00:26:02
Speaker
Oh, that's nice.
00:26:03
Speaker
Morgan Freeman came out and said some words to his good friend Gene.
00:26:12
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool.
00:26:14
Speaker
So meanwhile, chapter 21, back in Marine HQ, the Marines are told by Sergeant Kelly that they will be paired with the new Marines that are coming in and to give them a tour and get them all set up.
00:26:26
Speaker
And we also learn the name of the guy who's volunteering.
00:26:29
Speaker
His name is Wegner.
00:26:32
Speaker
Chapter 22, we're in Mars orbit.
00:26:36
Speaker
Swan and Campbell are talking about the potential necessity to terminate the projects going on.
00:26:41
Speaker
And you thought I forgot.
00:26:45
Speaker
I did not, actually.
00:26:47
Speaker
Meanwhile, Kane lands and disembarks, barks the ship.
00:26:51
Speaker
He notices a bunch of weapons being unloaded, including a quote unquote big gun.
00:26:57
Speaker
which is a very, very tongue-in-cheek coy reference to the BFG.
00:27:02
Speaker
The BFG.
00:27:03
Speaker
Kelly meets the newbies and introduces himself as they walk through the base and shows the other Marines on staff that they – that will be their babysitters.
00:27:12
Speaker
And then Kane ends the chapter by saying, this is going to be fun.
00:27:15
Speaker
And I'm not sure why he says that.
00:27:18
Speaker
I don't know either.
00:27:19
Speaker
It's not –
00:27:20
Speaker
It's really not clear, but he's – neither are a lot of his motivations to be completely honest.
00:27:25
Speaker
It's a very threatening aura when he says this is going to be fun because last time he said this is going to be fun, a lot of people died.
00:27:32
Speaker
I kind of honestly expect him to take like a crazy heel turn at some point, and I don't think that's where we're going with this.
00:27:38
Speaker
I don't think that's where we're going, but I wouldn't be surprised.
00:27:42
Speaker
Right.
00:27:42
Speaker
It's it's it feels like that's where we're going, but I'm pretty certain that we're not.
00:27:48
Speaker
So what a weird protagonist we've got here.
00:27:51
Speaker
Weird, weird protagonist.
00:27:52
Speaker
Chapter 23, we're in some sort of a conference room or whatever the fuck.
00:27:57
Speaker
Swan and Campbell are impatiently waiting for Hayden with Hayden for Betruger to arrive at their meeting.
00:28:04
Speaker
And Hayden doesn't think it's going to be easy to rein in Betruger.
00:28:09
Speaker
We find out that Ishii has been deciphering stuff from the dig site.
00:28:13
Speaker
He's kind of like figured out the language a little bit and he started to lose it a little bit.
00:28:19
Speaker
He's not doing well and he feels like he has to stop Petruger.
00:28:26
Speaker
Meanwhile, Swan and Campbell meet with Petruger to talk about how they're concerned with the new test using a human volunteer and that they will need to get Kelleher's approval for it.
00:28:38
Speaker
Chapter 24, while the Marines are getting to know each other, a warrant officer distracts Kelly to talk to him.
00:28:45
Speaker
This gives a couple of Marines the opportunity to mess with Kane because of what he did back on Earth, and they're calling him Killer Kane and all that stuff.
00:28:53
Speaker
Kane then beats the stuffing out of the guy who is in his face, and Kelly comes back and yells at Kane, yada, yada, yada.
00:29:02
Speaker
He ends up pairing Kane with Maria because they're both hotheads.
00:29:08
Speaker
Ah, yes.
00:29:09
Speaker
Yes.
00:29:09
Speaker
They're both hotheads and they're both hot.
00:29:14
Speaker
Hey, eh?
00:29:16
Speaker
Eh?
00:29:17
Speaker
Eh?
00:29:17
Speaker
I think they're all following it.
00:29:19
Speaker
I think they got it.
00:29:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:20
Speaker
I think they got it.
00:29:22
Speaker
Maria gives a half ass tour because she would would literally be doing anything else in the world.
00:29:30
Speaker
And while they're on the tour, a dude seems to lose his mind inside the all faith chapel, telling people that they can't make him and we're all going to be taken and all that stuff.
00:29:43
Speaker
Kane tells Maria he has questions.
00:29:45
Speaker
And while he tells her this, he checks out Maria's lips.
00:29:49
Speaker
Cause he's only human after all.
00:29:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:52
Speaker
Yeah.
00:29:52
Speaker
This is the, the level.
00:29:54
Speaker
It's a level of specificity that left me a little uncomfortable.
00:29:57
Speaker
On tonight's episode, the writer's barely disguised fetish.
00:30:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:02
Speaker
Basically.
00:30:05
Speaker
Someone learned a lot from Quentin Tarantino.
00:30:07
Speaker
I'm just saying.
00:30:09
Speaker
They go somewhere quiet to talk and Kane gets Maria's backstory.
00:30:14
Speaker
Like, you know, why she's she is where she is.
00:30:19
Speaker
Chapter 25.
00:30:21
Speaker
Axel and Tom Stein's team find a tunnel leading down.
00:30:25
Speaker
And it seems odd because it's more constructed than formed by the environment.
00:30:30
Speaker
She's got a bad feeling about it.
00:30:32
Speaker
Then the geologist chimes in and says, hey, we got a severe weather alert.
00:30:37
Speaker
We cut to private first class Tom Wagner getting his final checkup before the transport test.
00:30:42
Speaker
He's asking about whether there will be a good meal before doing it.
00:30:48
Speaker
Elsewhere, a marine named Billy Suppa.
00:30:53
Speaker
I love that name.
00:30:54
Speaker
That's a good name.
00:30:56
Speaker
Suppa.
00:30:58
Speaker
Would you care for some sepa?
00:31:01
Speaker
I was about to say, it's like, his original name was William Lunch.
00:31:06
Speaker
William Lunch.
00:31:08
Speaker
And they went, that's a stupid name.
00:31:10
Speaker
And he goes, you know what?
00:31:11
Speaker
You're right.
00:31:12
Speaker
Billy Suppa was born on that day.
00:31:13
Speaker
Billy Suppa.
00:31:17
Speaker
He's standing on a ridge and he's monitoring the oncoming storm.
00:31:20
Speaker
He's like, hey, holy shit, that's a big storm.
00:31:23
Speaker
And he looks behind him and like one of his guys, one of the other Marines is just like run away.
00:31:27
Speaker
And he's like, huh.
00:31:31
Speaker
I mean, it is a big storm.
00:31:32
Speaker
I don't blame the guy.
00:31:33
Speaker
And then a hole opens beneath Billy and he falls into it.
00:31:37
Speaker
Yeah, it cuts to the Ralph Wiggum meme.
00:31:39
Speaker
I'm in danger.
00:31:40
Speaker
I'm in danger.
00:31:41
Speaker
Yes.
00:31:44
Speaker
That dude should have gotten the fuck out of there.
00:31:46
Speaker
Just a hole.
00:31:47
Speaker
He gets eaten by the ground.
00:31:50
Speaker
Meanwhile, deep in the caves, Axel is trying to communicate with her team, but is fighting that comms are down during the storm.
00:31:57
Speaker
Meanwhile, Kane, while walking around, notices that there is a family up on the base, and he's like, huh?
00:32:04
Speaker
That's interesting.
00:32:06
Speaker
That's weird.
00:32:07
Speaker
All right.
00:32:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:10
Speaker
Chapter 26.
00:32:11
Speaker
Kane eats lunch and talks with Smitty, who mentions that everyone seems jumpy around here.
00:32:16
Speaker
Maria swings by the table and bullies Smitty a little bit to Kane's amusement because fuck Smitty, I guess.
00:32:23
Speaker
Poor Smitty.
00:32:25
Speaker
She's also a little bit flirty with Kane by like,
00:32:28
Speaker
rubbing her body against him.
00:32:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:31
Speaker
Flirty in the same way that a dog in heat is flirty.
00:32:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:36
Speaker
Presenting.
00:32:38
Speaker
Uh, we have a few scenes of Hayden Kane and Betruger thinking about tomorrow.
00:32:46
Speaker
What's on the line for tomorrow?
00:32:47
Speaker
Chapter 27, Ishii makes his preparations to stop the experiment while getting more and more anxious that someone's gonna figure him out.
00:32:55
Speaker
Cain gets his partner for today's activities.
00:32:57
Speaker
It's gonna be Smitty since they arrived together.
00:33:00
Speaker
And Smitty is like, hey, can I partner with Cain?
00:33:04
Speaker
I forgot to mention that in the previous chapter with the lunch scene, Kane refers to the other space Marines in his head as I can't believe I have to consider these clowns equals or something like that.
00:33:17
Speaker
And like, hey, your buddy, you're on a real fucking high horse.
00:33:21
Speaker
What the shit, dude?
00:33:24
Speaker
What the shit?
00:33:25
Speaker
Like, like just even beyond what a shitty thing that is to say about people who are like sharing your fate here.
00:33:34
Speaker
But holy shit, you're a murderer and maybe the worst leader of all time.
00:33:40
Speaker
Good Lord.
00:33:41
Speaker
Yeah, that was that was bleak.
00:33:44
Speaker
Um, yeah.
00:33:45
Speaker
Meanwhile, she is trying to sneak his way out of, of the lab.
00:33:50
Speaker
Uh, when he runs into Petruger, who asks him where he's going.
00:33:54
Speaker
And as she's like, I'm just checking, uh, checking the links and making sure that the, the things are fine.
00:34:02
Speaker
All fine here.
00:34:04
Speaker
How are you?
00:34:06
Speaker
Petruger's like, carry on and like walks away.
00:34:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:13
Speaker
Yeah, they're doing their best.
00:34:17
Speaker
They're doing their best elsewhere.
00:34:18
Speaker
Wagner is talking about how delicious his breakfast was.
00:34:21
Speaker
And Rodriguez then keeps pestering him about, hey, do you have any second thoughts?
00:34:26
Speaker
Do you think you're going to die?
00:34:27
Speaker
Are you going to die?
00:34:27
Speaker
Are you going to die?
00:34:28
Speaker
And Maria Maria is like, stop it.
00:34:32
Speaker
Yeah, this is this is when it's like, OK, all right, I'm starting to understand.
00:34:36
Speaker
OK, yeah, a little bit slap.
00:34:43
Speaker
Chapter 28 in the last chapter of this section, she does the old talking on the phone to no one trick and slips out into the hallway.
00:34:53
Speaker
Classic.
00:34:55
Speaker
No matter how far in the future you go, the classics never die.
00:34:58
Speaker
That's a fact.
00:34:59
Speaker
Well, if that's the comptroller's timeline, then that's the comptroller's timeline.
00:35:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:04
Speaker
Watermelon, watermelon, watermelon, watermelon, watermelon.
00:35:09
Speaker
McDonald writes a letter to his wife that gives the vibes of a Civil War soldier telling his wife that he may not return home from from the front.
00:35:17
Speaker
It's so true.
00:35:19
Speaker
It's so true.
00:35:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:22
Speaker
My dearest Anna.
00:35:27
Speaker
General Lee has this marching a fortnight to Gettysburg.
00:35:32
Speaker
The rations are cold and so are the women.
00:35:35
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:35:35
Speaker
Who am I writing?
00:35:36
Speaker
Sorry.
00:35:37
Speaker
Who am I writing to?
00:35:38
Speaker
I have no shoes.
00:35:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:41
Speaker
Because I had to eat them.
00:35:44
Speaker
I have a half a hard tack left, but no water to soak it in.
00:35:48
Speaker
Oh, my sweet Anna.
00:35:50
Speaker
Oh, I wish I could be in the comfort of your heftily bosoms this evening.
00:35:58
Speaker
Mostly for the body heat.
00:35:59
Speaker
I'm not going to lie, but still.
00:36:01
Speaker
Mostly for the body heat.
00:36:03
Speaker
I do miss you.
00:36:03
Speaker
That's, yeah.
00:36:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:07
Speaker
Signed, Aloysius Dunstan the third.
00:36:13
Speaker
Aloysius Dunstan Chexen.
00:36:15
Speaker
Aloysius Dunstan Chexen.
00:36:34
Speaker
That might be the dumbest joke.
00:36:40
Speaker
And that's saying a lot.
00:36:42
Speaker
Let's be real.
00:36:48
Speaker
So, uh, but Trugger realizes that she has left the lab and he calls General Hayden to get someone to find him.
00:36:57
Speaker
And he, General Hayden calls Kane and Kane, uh, or General Hayden calls Kelly, Sergeant Kelly.
00:37:03
Speaker
And he's like, Hey, uh, Kane, go find that scientist.
00:37:09
Speaker
And that's the beginning of the game right there.
00:37:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:13
Speaker
That is that's literally your first mission you're sent on.
00:37:16
Speaker
So yeah, this is go find the science man.
00:37:20
Speaker
Don't.
00:37:20
Speaker
But I don't think do they actually they don't.
00:37:23
Speaker
Kane is not in the name of your character.
00:37:24
Speaker
Like they never actually give him a name.
00:37:26
Speaker
You don't have a name.
00:37:27
Speaker
There's no name.
00:37:29
Speaker
Also, a Doom guy has no name.
00:37:31
Speaker
Yeah, I don't think Hayden actually is even in the game or I don't know.
00:37:37
Speaker
I looked through a plot summary.
00:37:39
Speaker
I was like, I don't see anyone named Hayden or Kelleher.
00:37:43
Speaker
It's mostly Swan in the game.
00:37:46
Speaker
Swan is a board member of the of UAC, not the general council.
00:37:54
Speaker
Okay.
00:37:55
Speaker
So in the book, he's like, it feels like this is a the book is a second draft of the story that that Costello wrote for the game.
00:38:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:08
Speaker
Serious prologue.
00:38:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:10
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:11
Speaker
Because we're two thirds of the way through the book and we are just just starting the game.
00:38:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:18
Speaker
And let me tell you, I've skimmed forward to the end.
00:38:23
Speaker
We're not going to get that far in part in this book.
00:38:27
Speaker
Now I know why there's another book.
00:38:29
Speaker
Right.
00:38:29
Speaker
Right.
00:38:31
Speaker
I will give Costello full credit, though, and I think part of this might just be my own personal taste.
00:38:37
Speaker
I dig the archaeological shit, but I've always loved the aura of, like, the spooky unearthing exorcist kind of, like, Pazuzu artifacts shit.
00:38:50
Speaker
Like, that's always been something I enjoy.
Gaming Critiques and Recommendations
00:38:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:54
Speaker
So that might just be my own taste, but I do enjoy when he's getting into the nitty gritty of the demon.
00:39:00
Speaker
And then he brings in Kane, who I'm I think he assumed everyone was like there for Kane.
00:39:07
Speaker
And I couldn't care less about that, dude.
00:39:09
Speaker
I do not care.
00:39:11
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:12
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:39:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:13
Speaker
Not a not a fan.
00:39:14
Speaker
No.
00:39:15
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:17
Speaker
You know what?
00:39:19
Speaker
You know what?
00:39:20
Speaker
It reminds me a little bit, a tiny bit with the with the digging and all that stuff is a little film written and directed by a master of horror starring Ice Cube.
00:39:38
Speaker
called Ghosts of Mars.
00:39:39
Speaker
Ghosts of Mars.
00:39:41
Speaker
I never saw that.
00:39:43
Speaker
I think I didn't remember it existed until you just mentioned it.
00:39:46
Speaker
John Carpenter.
00:39:48
Speaker
John Carpenter's Ghosts of Mars.
00:39:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:50
Speaker
Go ahead and check that out.
00:39:52
Speaker
Not great.
00:39:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:39:53
Speaker
Yeah, sure.
00:39:55
Speaker
Ice Cube plays a character named Desolation Williams.
00:39:59
Speaker
Well, fuck.
00:40:00
Speaker
I mean...
00:40:02
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's it's we got we got a Natasha Henstridge Ice Cube and Jason Statham.
00:40:08
Speaker
Wow.
00:40:10
Speaker
Oh, and Pam Greer is in it, too.
00:40:13
Speaker
So they call him Desi.
00:40:15
Speaker
Desi.
00:40:16
Speaker
Yeah, like Desolation.
00:40:18
Speaker
You figure you can't just call him Desolation, right?
00:40:22
Speaker
I don't remember.
00:40:25
Speaker
Yeah, it's got a 23% on Rotten Tomatoes and a 35% on Metacritic.
00:40:31
Speaker
But you know what?
00:40:31
Speaker
Maybe I'll rewatch it.
00:40:33
Speaker
Why not?
00:40:34
Speaker
Why not?
00:40:35
Speaker
I love John Carpenter.
00:40:36
Speaker
Yeah, even even his shit is still pretty fun.
00:40:40
Speaker
It's fun.
00:40:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:41
Speaker
Phil, what do you think so far?
00:40:44
Speaker
I, you know, not bad.
00:40:46
Speaker
It's, it's not terrible.
00:40:49
Speaker
I am perplexed and confounded by a cane as a character.
00:40:54
Speaker
I really don't like him, but the more I think about it, the more I'm, I'm, I'm realizing like, this is just really of its time.
00:41:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:02
Speaker
This is the doom guy of the early thousands, you know?
00:41:05
Speaker
Right.
00:41:06
Speaker
There was just, there was just a lot more tolerance for, um,
00:41:10
Speaker
you know stupid toxic like that in our entertainment right um and it's just it's just but i i'm not impressed with him i'm not you know it's it's it's odd uh especially and i think sometimes it's because um the doom guy we have now is so steeped in you know gravitas and lore and like you know that kind of thing so this guy he seems to slayer
00:41:37
Speaker
Right.
00:41:38
Speaker
He is there to destroy demons.
00:41:42
Speaker
Right.
00:41:43
Speaker
And this is just kind of lame in comparison.
00:41:45
Speaker
It just doesn't really work for me.
00:41:48
Speaker
But I do – I will say that the science parts and the archaeological digs and all that stuff is kind of – it's not exactly where it could have been, but it's kind of like what they could have done with the Dead Space novels.
00:42:05
Speaker
Right.
00:42:06
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:07
Speaker
Where it's like we could have used a little more of this.
00:42:09
Speaker
Right.
00:42:10
Speaker
A little less of board meetings and shit like that if you wanted to really build your tension, which this book is aiming for, really.
00:42:18
Speaker
Right.
00:42:19
Speaker
I agree.
00:42:20
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:42:20
Speaker
So, you know what?
00:42:22
Speaker
We've definitely read a whole lot worse, but it is perplexing at several times in the weird.
00:42:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:29
Speaker
We got.
00:42:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:31
Speaker
I agree.
00:42:31
Speaker
We got weird.
00:42:33
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:35
Speaker
Weird choices, but also fine.
00:42:40
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:42:42
Speaker
I think if you read it with an eye for the context of the time, you can it'll help you get through it.
00:42:49
Speaker
But I don't think that this would please most people, at least the Kane ship.
00:42:54
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:42:55
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:42:58
Speaker
Well, yeah, that's that'll be it for the for the book for this part of the episode.
00:43:05
Speaker
That means I have one question.
00:43:09
Speaker
Okay.
00:43:12
Speaker
What are you playing?
00:43:15
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:43:16
Speaker
I play a few more.
00:43:18
Speaker
Now, the last episode we did, What Are You Playing?
00:43:20
Speaker
For everyone to know, we did an interview with an upcoming author.
00:43:25
Speaker
That's probably not going to get posted for a little while.
00:43:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:43:28
Speaker
Yeah, it's going to be like over a month from now.
00:43:31
Speaker
So that episode is going to seem a little out of order in terms of what are you playing?
00:43:36
Speaker
But yeah, you can roll with it.
00:43:38
Speaker
Just roll with it.
00:43:39
Speaker
I think you'll be all right.
00:43:41
Speaker
But we talked about a lot of NextFest stuff during that, and I continued down that road with some more demos.
00:43:50
Speaker
I'll start with the one that least impressed me.
00:43:52
Speaker
It's called NWO Anarchy Collapsed.
00:43:58
Speaker
It's like one of these world domination games where it's all from the like, you're just looking at a map of the world and you're starting as one of the countries and you're trying to take over the world after everything's collapsed.
00:44:14
Speaker
It is.
00:44:16
Speaker
It plays like an old browser game, to be completely honest.
00:44:20
Speaker
There's a lot of the same like, OK, I took this country, so now I want to put this guy and this guy and this guy here.
00:44:25
Speaker
And then I move on to the next thing.
00:44:27
Speaker
And probably it's just a baffling, egregious amount of AI art.
00:44:37
Speaker
It's just that ugly, shiny, really shitty AI art.
00:44:43
Speaker
And they were kind of, you see in the comments, people in the discussions, people are talking about it.
00:44:48
Speaker
And the developers of the game get really like sarcastic and shitty in the comments.
00:44:54
Speaker
Like, well, it just helps us, you know, we're a poor game studio and it helps us make something that looks great.
00:44:59
Speaker
It's like, but it doesn't look great.
00:45:01
Speaker
Like, that's what we're trying to tell you.
00:45:03
Speaker
if you, if you went with a more stylized thing or, or worked with some other artists who don't have a lot of money too, and you could work together, but this just, it looks shitty.
00:45:13
Speaker
The leader, I don't know what attitude it's trying to come across with, but like you have all these leaders you can pick based on the country and they're all, they're bizarre to the point of being fascinating.
00:45:26
Speaker
And I'll, the example I'll give you is in America, one of the five leaders you could pick was, uh,
00:45:33
Speaker
I think it was King Uncle Sam or King America or something like that.
00:45:38
Speaker
And in his description, it talks about his love of democracy.
00:45:42
Speaker
And we're playing a king.
00:45:44
Speaker
It's that level of disconnect to the point where if they did it on purpose, you could almost find it to be genuinely hilarious satire.
00:45:52
Speaker
But there's so many things that point towards, no, this is dead serious.
00:45:57
Speaker
Right.
00:45:58
Speaker
And and beyond and frankly, it's beyond the art style and the bizarre storyline and everything like that, if you can call it that it's just it's just a dull, dull game.
00:46:11
Speaker
Sure.
00:46:12
Speaker
So it's just it's it's not doing anything new.
00:46:14
Speaker
It's not bringing anything to the table so that I wouldn't recommend that one.
00:46:19
Speaker
One that I did enjoy and it's it's going to seem first like maybe it's just the same old thing, but I played a tower dominion.
00:46:28
Speaker
Okay.
00:46:29
Speaker
Now, this is a this is a tower defense game, as the name kind of suggests.
00:46:33
Speaker
It's very cartoony.
00:46:35
Speaker
It's also very Warhammer inspired.
00:46:38
Speaker
All right.
00:46:39
Speaker
You've got all these different leaders you can pick and you unlock them as you go, and they all have different powers and synergies and whatnot.
00:46:45
Speaker
And one of the armies in particular is super imperial emperor worshipping shit.
00:46:53
Speaker
And another one kind of looks like.
00:46:56
Speaker
kind of more of a Soviet Kador, I think it's Kador from this other miniature game.
00:47:04
Speaker
And it's just, it's fun and kind of addictive in the same way a lot of well-made tower defense games are.
00:47:15
Speaker
where you've got you've got your your area and you're, you know, setting different guns, different rounds to stave off the hordes of aliens.
00:47:23
Speaker
The difference in this that I haven't seen in other tower defense games is you're actually placing the trenches around your headquarters as you go.
00:47:32
Speaker
Um, so not only are you strategizing where you place your guns and your, your, your weapons and whatnot, you're also strategizing, you'll get a square.
00:47:42
Speaker
It's on a, on a grid and you'll get a square or two and it'll have different shaped trenches.
00:47:49
Speaker
Uh, so you can strategize.
00:47:52
Speaker
which direction you want things coming from and that kind of thing.
00:47:56
Speaker
And I, I, I'd never seen that in a, in a tower defense game.
00:47:59
Speaker
It's not like just a map that's laid out for you.
00:48:01
Speaker
And I, I really got a kick out of that between that and the art style.
00:48:06
Speaker
Um, it's not, it's not a fancy shiny game, but they've done a good job with it.
00:48:12
Speaker
Uh, and it's definitely worth, uh, picking up at least for the demo.
00:48:17
Speaker
That's definitely worth a look.
00:48:18
Speaker
Um,
00:48:20
Speaker
I've also been playing Clock Tower Rewind.
00:48:23
Speaker
Okay.
00:48:24
Speaker
Yeah, I never played Clock Tower.
00:48:27
Speaker
I mean, and that's such a kind of a important classic.
00:48:30
Speaker
Yeah, I like I'm not I didn't I didn't I don't think I ever I played it all the way through, but I did play it around when it came out.
00:48:38
Speaker
I mean, I played a bit of it, you know.
00:48:42
Speaker
The actual original game?
00:48:43
Speaker
The original.
00:48:44
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:48:44
Speaker
One of the original Clock Tower games, yeah.
00:48:46
Speaker
Nice.
00:48:47
Speaker
Oh, that's cool.
00:48:48
Speaker
That was always... I never had got my hands on that one.
00:48:54
Speaker
And so last year they released this...
00:48:57
Speaker
you know, just a re-release of it, basically, where it just puts a new coat of paint on it.
00:49:03
Speaker
It has new kind of anime style, like interstitial storyline things which are cute.
00:49:09
Speaker
I don't really care about those, but it's cute.
00:49:13
Speaker
And it has a rewind option so that if you fuck up, you can rewind in the room and try again, which is a little more convenient than save scumming.
00:49:24
Speaker
Right.
00:49:25
Speaker
But not by a hell of a lot.
00:49:26
Speaker
I keep forgetting that I can do it.
00:49:29
Speaker
But I'm slowly digging through the different endings.
00:49:34
Speaker
There are like seven or eight different ways to beat the game.
00:49:38
Speaker
And I started at like the easiest ones and I'm slowly working my way through them.
00:49:43
Speaker
Nice.
00:49:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:46
Speaker
And it's really cool to play just in the sense of it being a nice little education in horror video games.
00:49:54
Speaker
And, you know, this was responsible in many ways for things like Resident Evil and that sort of thing.
00:49:59
Speaker
And you can totally see where that's coming from, which is great.
00:50:03
Speaker
Right.
00:50:04
Speaker
So I'm enjoying it.
00:50:06
Speaker
I think it's 30.
00:50:08
Speaker
I don't know if it's worth that.
00:50:12
Speaker
No, it's 20.
00:50:12
Speaker
It's 20.
00:50:13
Speaker
20 is okay, but if you're interested, I might wait for it to get on sale.
00:50:18
Speaker
But it's a fun way of getting back into an older game.
00:50:24
Speaker
And you're seeing this more and more.
RPG Mechanics and Comparisons
00:50:26
Speaker
We talked about The Thing and some other games that are older, and they're getting re-released like that.
00:50:30
Speaker
And I'm happy for that, because it helps fill in some gaps, maybe, in your...
00:50:38
Speaker
you know, video game.
00:50:39
Speaker
Sure.
00:50:40
Speaker
Educational background.
00:50:41
Speaker
Sure.
00:50:42
Speaker
You're a miseducation of Phil Keeling.
00:50:46
Speaker
Exactly.
00:50:46
Speaker
Exactly.
00:50:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:50:47
Speaker
Just that.
00:50:48
Speaker
Apologies, Lauren Hill.
00:50:51
Speaker
Oh, you don't need to apologize to me.
00:50:55
Speaker
But Kevin, what are you playing?
00:50:58
Speaker
Let's see.
00:50:59
Speaker
What am I playing?
00:51:01
Speaker
I am.
00:51:01
Speaker
Hold on.
00:51:03
Speaker
Steam is being annoying.
00:51:07
Speaker
Come on.
00:51:08
Speaker
Come on.
00:51:10
Speaker
Come on.
00:51:11
Speaker
There we go.
00:51:12
Speaker
All right.
00:51:14
Speaker
I have played recently Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous.
00:51:22
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:51:23
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:24
Speaker
I fired that up because I love Rogue Trader as a game and I was like, oh, let me check out.
00:51:31
Speaker
The most recent other game Owlcat did, which is this one, Wrath of the Righteous.
00:51:37
Speaker
And it uses the Pathfinder system, which is a bit more closer in flavor to D&D.
00:51:47
Speaker
At what point does Pathfinder split off of D&D?
00:51:51
Speaker
Is it 3.5 or something?
00:51:53
Speaker
Well, Pathfinder was basically and I think it was made by designers of the third edition and 3.5.
00:52:00
Speaker
Sure.
00:52:00
Speaker
It was it was basically a response to fourth edition, which is very maligned.
00:52:07
Speaker
Some would say unfairly.
00:52:09
Speaker
It's just a very different.
00:52:11
Speaker
game.
00:52:12
Speaker
And and so Pathfinder was designed around that time period, around the four it was released around fourth edition, basically as a memory of the three point five era.
00:52:24
Speaker
And it plays very much like that era, which is a lot of fun.
00:52:29
Speaker
It can be a little complex, but I think I haven't played it yet, but I think the second edition is a little more.
00:52:33
Speaker
They streamlined it a little more.
00:52:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:36
Speaker
The first edition was very numbers heavy.
00:52:39
Speaker
Yeah, I think, and I'm pretty sure this is based on second edition Pathfinder.
00:52:43
Speaker
I'm not sure.
00:52:44
Speaker
I just remember, like, it was as I was playing through it, I noticed that, like, your movement points, the amount of movement you did affected whether you could take an action or not.
00:53:02
Speaker
It was weird.
00:53:02
Speaker
It was actually not that dissimilar to...
00:53:08
Speaker
what was the other game I played?
00:53:10
Speaker
The Chaos Gate Warhammer game.
00:53:15
Speaker
It's a very strategy game kind of thing, action points and stuff like that.
00:53:19
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:20
Speaker
And I don't even know if that's in the Pathfinder system or if that's just the adaptation they did for
00:53:27
Speaker
this game.
00:53:28
Speaker
What's interesting about this game is that it actually starts out by default.
00:53:34
Speaker
It's there are it's it's not turn based.
00:53:37
Speaker
It's more like an ARPG where all your characters are just kind of doing their thing.
00:53:45
Speaker
And you know, you hit the spells and they're on cooldown, etc, etc.
00:53:48
Speaker
And I was like, that's not necessarily what I signed up for.
00:53:51
Speaker
I want to know there's and then there's an option to switch it over to turn base.
00:53:55
Speaker
But I was like, that's weird that that it's turn basis off by default.
00:54:00
Speaker
That is odd.
00:54:01
Speaker
That is odd.
00:54:02
Speaker
Yeah, I would.
00:54:03
Speaker
And it's not like turn-based is like a throw-in.
00:54:06
Speaker
It's like when you switch it over to turn-based, there's like all these additional graphical and UI elements that pop up and stuff like that.
00:54:12
Speaker
So it's clearly well thought through.
00:54:14
Speaker
It wasn't just an add-on.
00:54:16
Speaker
It's not just an add-on, but it's just off by default.
00:54:20
Speaker
Maybe I accidentally turned it off, but...
00:54:24
Speaker
I don't know.
00:54:24
Speaker
I don't think I did.
00:54:25
Speaker
That's weird.
00:54:27
Speaker
So anyway, yeah, I'm trying that out.
00:54:32
Speaker
It's interesting so far.
00:54:35
Speaker
I don't have a ton to say, but it's very, it's funny going to that and like, oh yes, this is a fantasy, more of an upbeat fantasy world rather than Rogue Trader.
00:54:48
Speaker
The grim dark future.
00:54:50
Speaker
Rather than the grim dark future.
00:54:52
Speaker
That's right.
00:54:52
Speaker
Okay.
00:54:53
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:54
Speaker
Ha ha ha ha
00:54:56
Speaker
Yeah, I imagine that's a bit of a breakneck situation.
00:54:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:59
Speaker
Oh, totally.
00:55:01
Speaker
The vibe's completely different.
00:55:03
Speaker
Like every character I meet, I'm like, oh, what awful thing are they going to say to me?
00:55:09
Speaker
And I stole these beans.
00:55:11
Speaker
And they're like, oh, I stole these beans to feed my family.
00:55:15
Speaker
Right.
00:55:15
Speaker
And like the options aren't Abelard, execute this man.
00:55:20
Speaker
Right.
00:55:21
Speaker
In the name of the emperor.
00:55:24
Speaker
First, Abelard.
00:55:25
Speaker
I think all games need an Abelard to introduce you.
00:55:30
Speaker
I think that's very important.
00:55:32
Speaker
I think this is a hill I'm willing to die on.
00:55:35
Speaker
I think we should all have an Abelard in real life, really.
00:55:37
Speaker
In real life.
00:55:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:39
Speaker
I personally need a Seneschal.
00:55:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:44
Speaker
I also played Warhammer 40K Chaos Gate Daemon Hunters.
00:55:50
Speaker
Yes.
00:55:51
Speaker
Yes.
00:55:52
Speaker
It is what it is.
00:55:54
Speaker
Does what you told me it is.
00:55:56
Speaker
It is.
00:55:57
Speaker
It is Space Marine XCOM.
00:55:59
Speaker
Right.
00:56:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:00
Speaker
That's what I was looking for.
00:56:01
Speaker
Which it surprises me.
00:56:03
Speaker
It didn't get more attention.
00:56:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:05
Speaker
Honestly.
00:56:07
Speaker
I could see why a little bit the UI is a little too like
00:56:15
Speaker
I don't know.
00:56:15
Speaker
There's like there's aesthetics of 40K I love and aesthetics of 40K that I don't.
00:56:23
Speaker
And it seems like sometimes there will be games that just cram all the things I don't like in terms of their aesthetics all onto the screen at once.
00:56:34
Speaker
And I think like the
00:56:36
Speaker
I think I could see it with the Chaos Gate game where it's like, yeah, it's like there's a vignette with like skulls around it.
00:56:45
Speaker
Like that doesn't even doing anything.
00:56:47
Speaker
You just get it out of here.
00:56:48
Speaker
Right, right.
00:56:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:51
Speaker
Yeah, I can see that.
00:56:52
Speaker
It's like, well, it seems like a little cheap or lame or whatever.
00:56:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:56:57
Speaker
But I just I tried really hard because that seems like it would be a game that would be fucking perfect for me.
00:57:04
Speaker
And and I just couldn't stick with it.
00:57:07
Speaker
It just did.
00:57:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:10
Speaker
It's also got a rather lengthy tutorial first level, and I don't think you can skip it.
00:57:17
Speaker
Sort of like unlike XCOM where you can just be like, nope, you can just go in the menu and be like, no, I've played this game before.
00:57:24
Speaker
Skip the onboarding shit.
00:57:26
Speaker
Here we go.
00:57:26
Speaker
Let's get the fuck on with it.
00:57:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:28
Speaker
Which you always appreciate, you know.
00:57:30
Speaker
Hardcore Iron Man.
00:57:31
Speaker
Let's go.
00:57:32
Speaker
And I'm dead.
00:57:34
Speaker
Oh, well, fuck.
00:57:35
Speaker
This is a hard game.
00:57:36
Speaker
I forgot how hard it is.
00:57:37
Speaker
Okay.
00:57:38
Speaker
All right.
00:57:39
Speaker
Okay.
00:57:40
Speaker
Come at it with a little more humility the second time around.
00:57:42
Speaker
You're like, oh, oh, right, right.
00:57:47
Speaker
Yeah.
00:57:48
Speaker
What's you?
00:57:49
Speaker
The voice you're doing just now sounded like what's his name?
00:57:55
Speaker
The really pale stand up comedian.
00:57:57
Speaker
You're going to have to narrow it down.
00:58:03
Speaker
That's not helpful at all.
00:58:04
Speaker
Hold on.
00:58:10
Speaker
My head went with James Acaster, but I don't know.
00:58:13
Speaker
Jim Gaffigan.
00:58:15
Speaker
Oh, sure, sure.
00:58:16
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:58:17
Speaker
Oh, I forgot this is a hard game.
00:58:20
Speaker
Oh, right.
00:58:21
Speaker
This is a hard game.
00:58:22
Speaker
Okay, yeah.
00:58:26
Speaker
Intensely Midwestern.
00:58:28
Speaker
Jim's talking to himself again.
00:58:36
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:36
Speaker
What was I say?
00:58:39
Speaker
Okay.
00:58:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:40
Speaker
So those are a couple of things I played.
00:58:42
Speaker
Oh, God, big yawn.
00:58:48
Speaker
I started playing Dead Island 2 again because it was in my backlog, on my Steam backlog.
00:58:54
Speaker
Like I played it a little bit when it was a free epic game or something like that.
00:59:00
Speaker
But now it's on Steam.
00:59:02
Speaker
And I was like, all right, well, let's do it.
00:59:06
Speaker
Fired that up.
00:59:08
Speaker
I'm pretty much caught up to where I was when I played initially.
00:59:13
Speaker
So I'll keep you all updated on that.
00:59:16
Speaker
And what else?
00:59:17
Speaker
Oh, I finally was like, you know what?
00:59:19
Speaker
Let's see what all the hubbub is about with Crusader Kings 3.
00:59:24
Speaker
Oh, okay.
00:59:25
Speaker
Okay.
00:59:28
Speaker
It is, it's like one of those things where I'm like, I'm playing it and had this game come to me at a certain age,
00:59:42
Speaker
uh i probably would still be like it i would have been obsessed with it sure i think yeah at a much younger age i think i would have been obsessed with it because i played like a tutorial it's like it's one of those it's a tutorial but then it just launches you into the game like you just keep playing that file right
01:00:02
Speaker
Right.
01:00:02
Speaker
So you're you're an Irish petty king and you know, you tutorialize through like, oh, this duchy is like yours by right, but some other dude has it.
01:00:15
Speaker
So you're going to go to war and take it from it.
01:00:17
Speaker
You know, like all that kind of stuff.
01:00:18
Speaker
And like I started getting a little bit into it because you're like, oh, I can I can fabricate a false claim against this place, this this barony.
01:00:30
Speaker
And then I could go to war with that barony.
01:00:32
Speaker
But but it might upset the petty king who that baron is a vassal to.
01:00:38
Speaker
And I got into a feud with
01:00:43
Speaker
one of the guys who was like in charge of one of the duchies inside.
01:00:49
Speaker
He was like, he was my vassal, right?
01:00:51
Speaker
But I got into a feud with him because he didn't like my, he didn't like the cut of my jib.
01:00:58
Speaker
I don't know what to tell you.
01:00:59
Speaker
So I spent five years, five years in game laying out a plan to murder him.
01:01:12
Speaker
Okay, yeah.
01:01:13
Speaker
It took five years to get the plan to the point where there would be absolutely no failure.
01:01:21
Speaker
And during the course of that, during the course of that, my spy master died.
01:01:27
Speaker
She was like an older lady and she died.
01:01:29
Speaker
So I didn't swap in a new spy master and it was a mess.
01:01:33
Speaker
But in the end, one of his, I had gotten one of his like viziers to kill him by poisoning his wine.
01:01:45
Speaker
But then there were still rumors that I did it.
01:01:48
Speaker
Right.
01:01:49
Speaker
And his son, I didn't think about it, but his son inherited the land anyway.
01:01:54
Speaker
I was trying to just like end the line.
01:01:56
Speaker
I needed to think a little bit further ahead.
01:02:00
Speaker
I needed to kill his son first.
01:02:02
Speaker
Now, his son was only 10 at the time of the murder.
01:02:04
Speaker
It was hard killing a five-year-old, but you know, you got to make these decisions in Crusader.
01:02:11
Speaker
We've all seen Richard III.
01:02:12
Speaker
We know how it works.
01:02:13
Speaker
It's understandable.
01:02:15
Speaker
We know how it works.
01:02:17
Speaker
So...
01:02:19
Speaker
I save scummed a little bit there because I was like, yeah, it's not really what I want to do.
01:02:25
Speaker
I ended up I did end up killing him, killing the guy.
01:02:29
Speaker
I had his son, though.
01:02:30
Speaker
That's the thing is his son was in my possession as as my ward.
01:02:37
Speaker
Oh, OK.
01:02:37
Speaker
Yeah, sure.
01:02:38
Speaker
Well, that's that's how they that's how they get you.
01:02:40
Speaker
That's how they get you.
01:02:43
Speaker
But I got to tell you, have you played any of these games?
01:02:47
Speaker
I tried.
01:02:48
Speaker
I know I have one of them.
01:02:49
Speaker
I try and I'm in the same boat as you.
01:02:52
Speaker
I feel like if this had hit me at a younger time in my life, when I when I had more patience and, you know,
01:03:03
Speaker
largeness of mine to take in a whole, it's just too complicated.
01:03:07
Speaker
It's just too goddamn complicated.
01:03:09
Speaker
There's like so much stuff you can, so you can have the time set to just like every day goes by pretty slowly.
01:03:16
Speaker
And what's funny is like, oh, I get it.
01:03:19
Speaker
This is not Civ where you're just like entering and like, all right, I'm waiting for this technology to do.
01:03:25
Speaker
There's like 15 things you could do on any given day or like set up where you're like,
01:03:30
Speaker
okay, well, I want my guy, my tax collector to start tax collecting.
01:03:34
Speaker
And these people are getting a little rowdy.
01:03:37
Speaker
So I need my, uh, my Marshall to go down there and teach him what for.
01:03:43
Speaker
Um, but I also gotta set, I gotta, I gotta look into the set up weddings for all of all of the people in my court.
01:03:50
Speaker
I gotta, I gotta make some marriages happen, uh, arrange a marriage between, uh,
01:03:58
Speaker
my wife's sister and the fucking Duke of, you know, wherever in the Holy Roman empire.
01:04:07
Speaker
It's, it's amazing.
01:04:08
Speaker
Yeah.
01:04:09
Speaker
And that's the thing, that sounds excellent.
01:04:13
Speaker
That sounds great.
01:04:16
Speaker
And I just know that I'm going to get into it and be like, oh, no, never mind.
01:04:22
Speaker
I don't think I got the attention span or the time for this.
01:04:24
Speaker
I don't think I can do it.
01:04:25
Speaker
Now, what if there was a Warhammer 40K version of that?
01:04:30
Speaker
Well, that's different.
01:04:31
Speaker
Don't be silly.
01:04:33
Speaker
It would have to be 40k, though, because they did do, it wasn't Crusader Kings, but the Total War.
01:04:42
Speaker
Oh, they did the Warhammer.
01:04:43
Speaker
Fantasy Warhammer.
01:04:45
Speaker
Right.
01:04:45
Speaker
And I thought that would be enough to get me into that, at least.
01:04:49
Speaker
And it was not.
01:04:51
Speaker
No, I have not much interest in fantasy Warhammer.
01:04:56
Speaker
It's fine.
01:04:57
Speaker
It's not the same for me.
01:04:58
Speaker
Yeah.
01:04:59
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:00
Speaker
It's just, I just imagine doing a Crusader Kings 3 and 40K and it's like,
01:05:06
Speaker
It's like, okay, well, I have this, you play a noble, right?
01:05:11
Speaker
And you're like, I have all these kids and I got to send, like, you're marrying them off and be like, all right, well, this one, this girl is going to be married to the emperor and she's going to become a, what is it?
01:05:27
Speaker
Adeptus serratus or- Right.
01:05:28
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:32
Speaker
I think or she becomes she like is she's one of the noble houses that that breeds, you know, astropaths and stuff like that.
01:05:39
Speaker
Right.
01:05:40
Speaker
It's sent to be an astropath.
01:05:42
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:43
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:44
Speaker
Like that would be cool.
01:05:45
Speaker
That's I mean, yeah.
01:05:47
Speaker
A navigator house, you know, in answer to your question, I'd make more of an effort.
01:05:52
Speaker
Yes, I'm not going to act like I wouldn't.
01:05:56
Speaker
I absolutely would.
01:05:59
Speaker
Oh, God.
01:06:00
Speaker
Well, that'll do it for tonight's episode.
01:06:02
Speaker
Thanks so much for listening.
01:06:04
Speaker
If you can, go ahead and follow us on Blue Sky.
01:06:07
Speaker
That's where to go.
01:06:09
Speaker
Go to our Discord also.
01:06:11
Speaker
Join up there.
01:06:13
Speaker
Hop in and water's fine and all that stuff.
01:06:16
Speaker
Um...
01:06:17
Speaker
Yeah, I'm having trouble with my knee recently.
01:06:23
Speaker
It's just, yeah, it screams every time I walk.
01:06:30
Speaker
Oh, I see.
01:06:30
Speaker
Yeah, you should probably, yeah.
01:06:34
Speaker
Is that an exorcism or what's that?
01:06:37
Speaker
Well, here's the thing, and this, because this happened to me, and I need you to pay attention.
01:06:40
Speaker
Close.
01:06:41
Speaker
Do you have pencil and paper?
01:06:43
Speaker
Yes, yeah, yeah.
01:06:44
Speaker
Okay, this is what you do.