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Madam Leeson Continued: The End of Dublin's Finest
22 Plays1 month ago
In this episode, Grace returns to share the dramatic continuation of Margaret Leeson's story. She dives into the latter part of Leeson's memoir, revealing the emotional and stylistic shifts in her writing. From heartbreak and poverty to resilience and societal defiance, discover how Margaret navigated the complexities of her life as a high-class courtesan.
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Transcript
Grace Artist's Apology and Life Update
00:00:15
Speaker
Hey everyone, welcome back. After a long time gone, i am so sorry about that, to another episode of Harlots and Hearses with your host, Grace Artist, me.
00:00:28
Speaker
Just, I feel like I have to explain why I was gone for almost a month. Thank you for the listeners who stuck with me. I was literally traveling nonstop back from the East Coast to Texas. When I was in Texas, I was with family nonstop.
00:00:41
Speaker
I was traveling all over Texas. I go back to the East Coast and then I had to travel again for a work trip. So it's taken me and all that time I did not have the either bandwidth to fully give this episode what it deserves and honestly what margaret leeson deserves and i'm not gonna lie the last half of her memoir is tough read it's a tough read you can tell that she changes her stylistic style um so it took me a bit to get back into it but we're here we're gonna finish her story fair warning
00:01:21
Speaker
not ah It's a very depressing story, but it's her story, and we're going to try to tell it right. So without further ado, here is part two of the Madam Leeson story.
Margaret Leeson's Seaside Recovery
00:01:32
Speaker
So where we had left off, she had just essentially been ditched by Mr. Lawless. He left her a letter saying, you know...
00:01:42
Speaker
Hey, I love you but I'm leaving for America. This left Margaret in a very, very depressed state. She wrote how she was exhausted by these violent passions. She had sunk spiritless and stupid, and her whole nerves were essentially in a state of shock. She...
00:02:03
Speaker
was in such a so bad state that her friends actually got concerned about her and sent two doctors to look over her and to make sure like, hey, are you actually okay? They ordered her essentially to leave this busy city she was in and go seek like exile, you know, on the beach in the countryside, which I wish was still a thing that doctors prescribe today of like, Oh, you're exhausted at work? Oh, you're tired?
00:02:31
Speaker
Not feeling good? Well, here's a medical excuse to go to the seaside. So she left to go to have pure air, as the doctors described. And she said that she was gradually growing better. And remember, she was pregnant at this time. So she was in a well enough state to deliver her daughter, which she said the daughter brought her. much joy and kind of was like her shining light during all of this but because she had left the company of mr lawless and they were already in pretty bad financial conditions to begin with remember that was one of the reasons he wanted to go to america says she was sunk in poverty and she could scarce afford the comforts of necessary things luckily
00:03:15
Speaker
She had friends in high places, a Miss Fleetwood, who was kind of under the protection of this very wealthy lord at the time.
Return to Society: Margaret's Admirers and Loyalty
00:03:25
Speaker
And she was able to go live with Miss Fleetwood and kind of be in the care of that. And, you know, she had said herself that she had been so many years in recluse, you know, kind of like...
00:03:37
Speaker
putting a, not necessarily a wall, but like kind of separating herself from the life that she had before Mr. Lawless of having all the suitors with all the favor who were paying for her company. So she had been many years removed from the practice of being um a courtesan, high-class prostitute. She's like five years out of practice, remember, because she was Miss Mr. Lawless.
00:04:01
Speaker
So when she finally made their return to the scene, you know, her friends congratulated her. And soon she had a very numerous train of admirers who were all eager to get her good opinion and to get her attention.
00:04:17
Speaker
She said that they flattered her vanity. She partook of their treats and went with them to public places and accepted their presence. But that's as far as it went. Because even though Mr. Lawless was not faithful to her, she was still faithful to Mr. Lawless.
00:04:35
Speaker
And that she had so much affection for him that she could not reconcile, she said, letting anyone else to her bed. And this is still the case when Captain Matthews, we talked about him before, like he came calling on her and was like, well, hey, like now that Lawless is not in the picture, like,
00:04:55
Speaker
now's my time she was like thank you but no and she rejected him once again even though like he kind of like went forward to indulge her in entertainment he like was on her nearly hand and foot. And he went as far as to say, like, hey, like, if you want to go see Mr. Lawless in America, I can take you to go see Mr. Lawless
Captain Matthews' Proposal and Emotional Attachment
00:05:22
Speaker
just so you can get that closure. And she said that, you know, I rejected that. Like, I know Mr. Lawless, like, didn't have it in him to afford me. So I'm not even going to go put myself into that situation.
00:05:37
Speaker
She says that 18 months had passed by since Mr. Lawless had left for America, and she had not heard a word from him, not a single letter.
00:05:49
Speaker
That is until one morning when a friend had told her that, you know, Mr. Lawless was writing his uncle and his brother, but just not her. This conversation.
00:06:01
Speaker
kind of made her want to scream. She says, so after hearing this news that, you know, Mr. Lawless is writing people, he's just not writing you. It kind of made her do a complete 180. She goes, from this moment, I will tear thee from my heart. From this hour, i hate, I loathe, I detest thee. I swear i will yield myself to the first agreeable and profitable offer that is made to me.
00:06:29
Speaker
She goes like, so numerous were my admirers that I was bewildered in the choices that she had. And she kind of regretted that she had refused Captain Matthews all this time. But sadly, it was a little too late for him because he had to go back to the military so he couldn't keep her any longer. So she says, and this is kind of like one of like my favorite sayings from her, but the ill uses of lawless had changed me to what I never was before.
00:06:59
Speaker
In short, I was become a complete croquette. I entertained everyone who fluttered about me. I received every present that was offered, accepted every entertainment that was made for me, and I gave them all hope yet kneeled into one.
00:07:14
Speaker
So she's like, fine, if you don't want me, I'll do a complete 180 and kind of have essentially in her words was like a hot girl summer. She's like, I'm going to be that bitch.
00:07:25
Speaker
I'm going to be the talk of the town. If you don't want me, all these other people will. And I'm going to make that work for me. She goes, i was disgusted with the man of my heart therefore gave my heart to none i looked upon all men as my lawful prey and wished to punish the crimes of one on the whole sex Which you have to think coming from like at this point, it's like the 1750s.
00:07:52
Speaker
This is so profound for a woman to be saying, being like, it's her version of essentially being like, F all men because one man did me wrong. And honestly, i kind of get it and I kind of respect it. She did what she had to do to get her needs over with. And she goes, i threw off all reserve, forgot all my resolutions,
New Relationships and Financial Challenges
00:08:17
Speaker
and admitted men to bad. That no man but Lawless had entertained me for years.
00:08:23
Speaker
And I had wakened in the morning. I was perfectly tranquil and thought as little about it as any modest widow when she takes up her second. She meets another man who also goes by mr l And From that day, essentially when they started their affair, like he, Mr. L lived with her, supported her in the most abundant manner. She once again became with child. And she says for several months, they had a pretty agreeable life.
00:08:53
Speaker
but she kind of fell into old habits again she goes at length you know mr l had to leave her to go to the country to see his friends and he would leave her essentially with an allowance to take care of herself while she was gone and she says but i couldn't wait for him to get back so she was never truly faithful to him and she says like i had begun to slide down a deep steep decree to your vice and during when one of Mr. L's absence she became acquaintances with a man by the name of Mr. Cashel and she goes he was young happy handsome and a gentleman but he had no money so kind of we're going again back in this scenario that we saw before with like Mr. Lawless Mr. Leeson and that whole situation she's repeating kind of the same pattern And so whenever Mr. L would come back, she would tell him i like, no, I'm sorry. Like, I can't be with you you. know, I'm with child. It wouldn't be right. And he would respect that.
00:09:58
Speaker
But what she did kind of do to rock the boat even more because... She essentially wanted like miss Mr. L to leave her alone, but to still keep her close enough. She's like, hey, if you have needs that you need to be satisfied that I, you know, because of my pregnant state can't satisfy, you should go see this other woman named um Miss Kitty, essentially was her pseudonym.
00:10:26
Speaker
And Mr. L said he liked her a lot. And he started soon seeing Kitty more than he started seeing Margaret. But keep in mind, Margaret has her new man. So by all means, she shouldn't be jealous.
00:10:42
Speaker
But Margaret found herself getting jealous. And she said, I had no sooner turned my back on the couple i had put together than my old companion Jealousy came to visit me.
00:10:55
Speaker
I revolved in my mind the agreeable hours I had passed with Mr. L. And I saw that they were all lost to me, that they would transfer to another, and I myself negotiated the transfer. She saw that, like, Mr. L was spending so much money on silk, on jewelry, on satin and diamonds for Kitty.
00:11:14
Speaker
And she's realizing, shoot, I could have been doing that, but I didn't. And now I'm kind of at the loose end of this bargain. And she's kind of reeling about it.
00:11:25
Speaker
But before she can really act on it, Kitty told Mr. L about all of this, about how Margaret had set this up, how Margaret is actually seeing, you know, a Mr. Cashel. And It wasn't good. So essentially she goes like, it shut the door against his return to me.
00:11:47
Speaker
And that really hurt as she became in one of money and Cashel could not supply her with any. And she also goes like, I also really hurt and developed like kind of like resentment towards Kitty because she she knew I was setting her up to be taken care of, but she also kind of like backhanded me while doing it But luckily enough for Margaret, Mr. L's father, I believe, heard of the situation, heard that, you know, she still had a child and he's like,
00:12:23
Speaker
I'll pay for your lying in. Essentially, he's like, I'll pay for your period of maternity while you're taking care of my child. And I'll pay for the child in every respect till she's four. So she knew she would kind of have that income coming in.
00:12:40
Speaker
And a short time after, like, all of this had transpired, she had gotten a letter from Mr. Lawless. Mr. Lawless enters back into the picture. And she goes, it was the first that she had received from him in the space of forever.
00:12:57
Speaker
four years. So four years had passed since he had went gone to America. And he told her, you know, I'm back from America. I'm in Cork. I would love for you to come visit me there. And at first when she read it, she's like, you know, I had i received it with the utmost indifference and read it with disgust. Like, I didn't want to think about at all. I didn't even want to, like, kind of, like, even ponder that decision. She's like, I wanted it gone.
00:13:27
Speaker
But she goes, her friends pleaded for his behalf and saying, like, what harm can come from you going to Cork and visiting him? Just...
00:13:38
Speaker
just do it like essentially like do it for the plot you know i'll come with you and it'll be fun and so she with her friend sally hayes like they arrived to cork they met with mr lawless like they met him at a
Violent Attack by the 'Pinking Dindies'
00:13:53
Speaker
lodging they lived in cork for about a month together and you know they made daily excursions they dressed in elegance and you know It kind of passed nice. She's like reminiscing on this time they had together in Cork and she's saying like, you know, they came back from Dublin, but she realized as soon as essentially they came back that Mr. Lawless had not struck it rich in America. And
00:14:22
Speaker
You know, his excuse for not writing her was saying like, you know, the war prevented me from doing so. Which, okay, but he still was able to write letters to his uncle and his brothers. So that's kind of BS. And she found that like, you know, even though they had a decent time in Cork, like she didn't carry love for him anymore. However, she would become pregnant with his child again.
00:14:47
Speaker
and she was about eight months pregnant with his child when a very tragic event occurred so she kind of like contextualized the situation by starting off saying that like dublin at this time was infested with a set of men who even though they were born gentlemen in their title and you know they were very affluent they were ruffians she calls them and these men had the gang name if you will the pinking the pinking dindies she states how they would these men would run drunk through the streets knocking down whoever they met attacked beat and cut the watch and with great valor broke open the habitations of unfortunate girls demolished the furniture of their rooms and treated the unhappy sufferers with a barbarity and savageness at which the gang
00:15:46
Speaker
at which a gang of drunken coal porters would have blushed. So essentially, these men were degenerates and they were the worst of their kind. And they were just kind of like running amok, going through the streets, specifically also targeting like brothels.
00:16:00
Speaker
I forgot the word for brothels for a minute. um So the leader of this gang like took it into his head to target Margaret in her house. And so she goes, one evening he came into my house and him with his gang of associates insisted that they be admitted and she refused them.
00:16:23
Speaker
She goes, on my refusal, they smashed all my windows, broke the hall door and entered to the shattered panels. They then demolished all the furniture of the parlors and withdrawn weapons, searched the house to find Mr. Lawless, whose head they swore they would cut off and carry away, though he had not give offense to either party. So luckily, Mr. Lawless was not there, so he escaped the treatment. However, these men then took it upon themselves to give that inhumane, kind of horrific,
00:16:57
Speaker
terror onto Margaret herself. She says, and keep in mind, she was very big at this time. She was eight months pregnant. She says the beatings would have moved even the most savage of people to their knees and filled them with compassion. And it threw her essentially into a fit.
00:17:17
Speaker
She said, I lay dead as when some of my neighbors took me out lifeless and carried me to the state of one of their houses. I'm just going to read it in her words. So she goes, when these magistrates had restored peace, I was brought back and after three weeks was delivered by surgeon Vance of a dead child with one of its legs broke and the consequence of the injuries I had received from these valorous heroes. The little girl too that I had by Mr. L was at the time of this afraid was laying with her nurse on the second floor and was so frightened that she took a fit of screeching and never recovered from her terror but died in the consequence of her fright. Thus these
00:18:00
Speaker
magnanimous warriors actually murdered two helpless infants. So in this riot that these so-called men, these gentlemen, and they were from esteemed society and birth, they had essentially not only brutally beaten her, but beaten her enough that her child that she had in the womb had suffered a broken leg and scared her daughter enough into such a terrified state that she ended up dying because of it.
00:18:29
Speaker
And she goes, how void their hearts must be of humanity and true bravery. How destitute the sense must be their adult brains who can act in this manner. And while as they act thus and absorb the name of gentlemen. And this is where like i gave major, major, major props to Margaret.
Legal Victory Against Mr. Balloon
00:18:51
Speaker
Because even though she suffered like a heartbreaking loss, and but not losing one child but two and her body is beaten does not
00:19:04
Speaker
let this stop her and in fact she kind of uses it as fuel because she decides that she's going to bring these men to court so they can be punished for their deeds and this was a little bit unheard of because it's margaret but she was a high-end prostitute going after men of noble birth gentlemen and trying to like get repercussions from it. And she did this when the man who one of the men who had beaten her, a Mr. Balloon, like when she began her prosecution of them, like he swore that he would shoot her and end her life. But
00:19:48
Speaker
She openly declared that she would keep a case of pistols in her pocket and blow his brains out if he approached me. And it ended up working because she got the man apprehended and lodged in Newgate. And the trial came and she had a cloud of witnesses for the riot and assault and the destruction of her property. And the jury actually found him guilty.
00:20:13
Speaker
He was sentenced to be fined and confined. And then... She also carried on another suit for damages that she had to her property and to herself. And she had him arrested for the amount. And again, he was put in Newgate. It's kind of like soon after this victory where we do get another shift once again, because keep in mind, she's still kind of sorta seeing Mr. Lawless at this time. He was the father of her child. Like she was still in talks with him. But it was this where, like after the victory over these so-called gentlemen, that Mr. Lawless's father ended up dying. And the father left Mr. Lawless no money. There was no money to be had. So Mr. Lawless's friends were like, hey, you need it you need to leave Dublin again. You need to go to England.
00:21:07
Speaker
And specifically, you need to go to London. He asked Margaret, he was like, hey, can you come just live with me in London? Like, get out of Dublin, get out of town for a bit. Like, you know, have a reset, come live with me.
00:21:19
Speaker
And at first she was like, you know, I'm good. I'm going to stay here. Like, I like being my own mistress. I like being. or mercying in selves and all the pleasures of the world, I'm fine.
00:21:34
Speaker
But when he was in London, he kept writing to her all the time, kept asking, you know, for her to join him. And Sally Hayes, you know, he kept writing her all the time. He kept talking about, you know,
00:21:50
Speaker
coming to visit me and she goes like I was really frantic for some weeks and can receive no consolation so she's at this point kind of suffering what I think we would very likely say is PTSD she said the house I lived in kept up my grief by continually presenting objects to my eye that reminded me of my dear child and She's like, at that point, I was determined to quit not only my house, but Ireland itself, hoping that like a variety of new objects and new scenes would lessen my struggles and lessen my woes. So she wrote to Mr. Lawless like, hey, coming to visit you in London.
00:22:31
Speaker
And, you know, she would be with with him. Flash forward, she goes to visit him in London. He says he's overjoyed to seen her. But Mr. Lawless is doing what Mr. Lawless does best. And he was apparently being very promiscuous while he was in London. And he had actually had a girl, like a kept girl, ah kept mistress at that time, which he did not feel the need to tell Margaret about. The only reason that ah Margaret knew about her was because like one of his lady friends told Margaret of like, hey, you know, he has a girl. And Margaret's like, what?
00:23:10
Speaker
And she's like, yeah, yeah, he has a girl. Like he keeps a Miss Charmin and he's kept her a long time and like he sees her every day. And at this Margaret was like, fuck you I'm done. i don't need this. So she packed up all her trunks and all her boxes. And she's like, I'm going to go to my own house. I don't need this. I don't need you.
00:23:35
Speaker
Have fun with your Miss Shaman. And she did all this. She gave the biggest middle finger to, you know, to Mr. Lawless. But she's like, shoot, I can't return to Dublin.
00:23:49
Speaker
So she decided to stay in London for a bit. Her reasoning behind this was like she had told all her friends in Dublin, you know, i was going to London. i was going to spend the rest of my life with Mr. Lawless. And she goes, I was really ashamed to return so so because she didn't want to be laughed at.
00:24:09
Speaker
And the consequence I had so long assumed should be let down. And she didn't want to deal with like a wounded pride. Luckily for her, before she had left Dublin, she had, you know, paid off all her debts. She had sold the house and she had a good little like bank egg, bank nest, nest egg. She had a good little nest egg for her to kind of support herself while she got herself back on her feet when she was in London.
00:24:38
Speaker
However, she goes, the gentlemen are more cautious and less liberal and generous than those of Ireland. So she's like, the men in London are very stingy.
00:24:50
Speaker
And she would say how they would go out to drinks and stuff, um you know, to the taverns and out to the clubs. And she would be the one having to buy the drinks, which she's never usually experienced before. Usually it's vice versa.
00:25:06
Speaker
But she was able to like like make the best of it. She was able to like keep an elegant house. She hired a companion, a companion woman. And she goes, I entered a fresh round of pleasures.
00:25:19
Speaker
She goes, it was different from what I was used to in Dublin. However, it was her time in London. She was going to an event or coming back from an event where she was riding in an open air carriage and she herself fell sick with a fever.
00:25:34
Speaker
But it was at this recovery from the illness that she found herself exhausted, pretty much all out of money. And she's like, I just can't. I can't be in London anymore. she says she essentially got disgusted with the idea of London. and so she's like, you know what? I'm going to return back to Ireland. I'm going to go back to my own country.
00:25:54
Speaker
And even though I don't have money, I'm going to make it work, which I will give it to Margaret. Like she always... Her life is very much peaks and valleys. When the highs are high, they're really high. But when the lows are lows, they're they're bad. But she's always able to, like, kind of work herself out of it. She doesn't lay in the bad. She works.
00:26:21
Speaker
And she makes it her mission to try to end up better than where she was. And she goes, I had just two shillings left in the world when she had returned to Ireland. It's really funny because she says she only had two shillings left in her bank.
00:26:37
Speaker
At the same breath, she also then says like how she was able to go back to Dublin. She ended up moving in with one of her friends who was very well kept. And she goes, when my things got home and unpacked, I made myself very grand by distributing a great number of presents. To some, I gave gowns, to some caps and feathers, rings and buckles to lady ladies, and pocketbooks to gentlemen. So she's like, I was poor, but I had a lot of good things to give out to friends.
00:27:08
Speaker
And it kind of worked in her favor because family, she was able to kind of give this facade of being still like a very well-kept woman even though she had zero money in the bank it was able to make her desirable to men because she talks about how the next day when she was in town with her and sally they were walking and they were wearing the heightest fashion they were wearing bell hoops which she says they were the first women to wear them in dublin height of fashion. She's saying like that when they returned home from the walk, they had visits from a great many gentlemen and they all welcomed them home.
00:27:48
Speaker
Like all these men were giving her bank notes and they were all very curious and pursuing like a relationship with her. And she goes, like, i like, continue this.
00:28:01
Speaker
Like, I continue this. I was able to buy myself a house. I was able to support myself. And I was kind of able to make it work. But it's also in this part of the book where she does do some great self-reflection.
Reflection on Life as a Courtesan
00:28:15
Speaker
she goes, she's like,
00:28:16
Speaker
my success in one plan gave me courage to go into another my wants were supplied by others through vanity and folly and i was led upon the men who surrounded me merely as tools made only to minister my expense and contribute to my pleasure so she's like I am fully aware that I was using these men to support my lifestyle and that my lifestyle and how I was living, I could only do that because of these men. So it's kind of like a really weird give and take.
00:28:50
Speaker
She goes, I had my pride flattered by having attained a celebrity, eminence in the line I had unfortunately taken. i was looked up to as kind of a pattern to the ladies of the sisterhood.
00:29:03
Speaker
But then she admits that her capital error was in entering the course of life I led. For once I was in I had no means of getting out. So she admits that, like, I was in this life and it was great at times, but also, like,
00:29:20
Speaker
I had no backup plan for getting out. I was stuck in this life. But she she then goes on to say, like, the miseries of poverty, which I so severely felt, were not forgotten.
00:29:32
Speaker
And their remembrance only urged me more to prevent me from failing into circumstances. Living in splendor, enjoying every luxury of dress, table or shoe, no matter from which source they were derived, made me resolve to not quit the means of gaining the end.
00:29:50
Speaker
Thus I went on in a circle of pleasure, one commencing or one ending." And that's just the kind of life that she talks about for a good portion of the rest of the book. She goes on to talk about these circles of pleasure. She talks about how the government had forbidden their hosting masquerade balls. So she was like, you can't tell me what to do. I'm going to host my own masquerade ball. Host a masquerade ball? She did. it was kind of like she goes at one point they had 500 color lamps at this ball, blue, lilac, and green that they had.
00:30:30
Speaker
the you best woman imported in for this ball and that it would last until six in the morning and they danced until then.
00:30:42
Speaker
And the government, like, Didn't even bother. They ignored her, she said. She talks about, though, at the same time of like, living this life of luxury and passions, if you will. But she also mentions that, like, you know, since Mr. Lawless had left for America, she didn't know what love was.
00:31:06
Speaker
She goes, plague men and perplex them. Since men try their arts, are weak sex to betray, i shrew them that women's as cunning as they. So she's like, you know, men think they're this superior thing. I'm going to show them that they're not and that women can be just as cunning as them. And she owns up to it.
00:31:26
Speaker
However, she also admits that, like, I did fall in love again with another man by the name of Robert Gorman.
Love and Loss with Robert Gorman
00:31:35
Speaker
And she goes, he was extremely hi handsome. He was constantly with me. And, you know, she kind of, even though she despised mankind, she really put up with Bob and she liked Bob. However,
00:31:52
Speaker
bob had received a severe lecture from his father and he kind of was kicked out of his father's house for spending a lot amounts of money. And he had used some hundreds of his father's property by gambling and other means. And essentially like he got chewed off for his father and his father would ultimately be the reason that Bob ended up leaving Margaret.
00:32:17
Speaker
She goes, the departure of the second man I ever loved was an object of grief to me. I fretted exceedingly and kept to my room for some days. She eventually did get out of her slum. And, you know, she says I was still increased in celebrity. And she calls herself like,
00:32:34
Speaker
the esteemed first woman of Ireland and her line being the celebrity as such. She had visits from nobles and gentlemen. She had gotten a new house in Pitt Street, which she had furnished to the T's. This would become essentially her mark and her switch from like matt like prostitute to madam was her move to Pitt Street.
00:32:56
Speaker
And it was during this time in Pitt Street, the year 1784. Keep in so she's about 60 at this. Yeah, she's in her 60s at this point. She was born in the 20s. That she had been introduced to his grace himself. And, you know, they would start.
00:33:17
Speaker
they would start a little affair and she says it was great and it lasted however small it did she goes but honest charlie he and tit-a-tit drank and spilled three or four flasks of sparkling champagne for his grace would take no partner but myself and in the morning he paid me profusional compliments to the happiest he enjoyed in my company And he essentially like called her like his diving duchess and was much of a mistress in the artist's pleasing. And, you know, even though he paid her some frequent visits afterwards, it just wasn't the same as it was in the beginning. And she was fine with it because, you know, at at least she got to be kept by royalty for a small amount of time.
00:34:01
Speaker
She also does end up getting married in a weird turn of events. She says like one day after she threw this like huge masquerade party, there were two men that came to her house and one of the men, she actually goes on to say like, whose abilities in every way I entertain a very abhor opinion. So she's like, I didn't like this man, but he proposed to me and you know,
00:34:29
Speaker
I kind of had sworn off love at this point, and but I knew this man, he was kind of very well off. And I was like, you know, why not? So she agreed to marry this man.
00:34:40
Speaker
and it was a very short marriage and she says like it was written all about in the papers and in the media at this time how like peg had been tied down and became a virtuous bride and however longer than the honeymoon lasted for alas the hard-hearted man no sooner had he surfeited to a very imperfect enjoyment Then he grew cold as a cucumber and had the impudence to say could not bear to kiss my lips, they being always so plastered with a salve or ointment. And he she goes, I was wearing the ointment so my lips wouldn't get chapped. But this apparently was a straw he couldn't take. And so they ended up.
00:35:25
Speaker
kind of as quickly as they ended up getting married, got the marriage annulled, but not before she was given 500 guineas her troubles.
00:35:36
Speaker
At this point in the memoir, it does get very repetitive, and this is where I got stuck. um She kind of just goes on to say, like, you know, she goes on, kind of, life for man that remained the same. I was kind of in the same cycle. She also spends a good portion detailing the other women and that she had, um that she had kept as her time from a madam at the pit house. She goes on to tell of, like, this woman who she could not stand, who was one of her lodgers, um and this woman was like vulgar for the sake of being vulgar she just wasn't like i think it says a lot that if margaret doesn't like her i think that speaks a lot to her character but the reason that she gives like this why this woman was kind of crazy
Troublesome Boarders and Theft
00:36:23
Speaker
is she goes this woman a miss b she calls her she would tell me stories about how
00:36:31
Speaker
There were days when her husband would get drunk before noon, which happened a lot. And Miss B, in the same bed that her husband lay drunk and asleep, she would take men and have sex with them in the same bed that her husband is laying in. And she delighted in it.
00:36:51
Speaker
And she loved it and kind of loved the thrill of it. And Margaret was like, girl, that's crazy, even for me. I can't do your kind of crazy. Like, I don't really want you around me anymore. So she ended up kicking Miss B out of her lodging not soon after that.
00:37:09
Speaker
And this is kind of where we start to get the beginning of the end. So Margaret had went away for a trip. And when she'd come back, she had realized that two of her boarders, and when I say boarders, I mean essentially like two prostitutes that Margaret kept under her roof. So two ladies that she had they had led such a life of riot and were a nuisance to the whole neighborhood. And that really upset Margaret because she had tried so hard to make sure like her, even though her house was what it was, it was a brothel. She tried to make sure it never got to the disorderly function. She wanted it to be really well kept. She wanted it to be high class. And these women essentially like totally disregarded all of that. They upset the neighbors. Also, these women,
00:38:00
Speaker
stole large quantities of her furniture. She goes like their conduct like made me want to lessen the people I kept around me and kind of drew even a tighter circle of who I kept. And she was like, after this, you know, I only want one or two more years of pleasure and being out. And then like, I'm going to take my leave of the business and I'm I'm going to retire and enjoy my days of independence.
00:38:28
Speaker
And so her resolution to carry this out was, and the first step that she took was to be very selectful of who she kept as boarders and to be very selectful of the visitors that she had and kind of the company that she kept and how much she went out.
00:38:48
Speaker
However, it was during all of this where Margaret would essentially have a breakdown. she realize and she took what she called a horrible retrospective view of the course that she had run and her past lives and essentially like she would fall to the knees and start crying to god and like essentially like what say do i have who am i to call out anyone who am i to be anyone like i am a wrench and like i am suffering and she goes as far as like
00:39:24
Speaker
calling herself like the wretched abandoned peg. Thou'st have done, oh horrid, horrid, what a stink of infamy thou hast lived in all life. In vain you may solace yourself with the idea of you being charitable, humane, compassionate, tenderhearted. But what avail are you these virtues to a blasphemous prostitute? who shared her charms indiscriminately with every ruffian who could afford a price. And she essentially was like, this was my worst. This was my rock bottom. I felt like, who am I to say anything when I am just a prostitute? And she goes on to like do even more reflections. And she said like, had I been married young to some worthy man, i might now have been blessed with a smiling, happy prodigy. Whereas I shall leave nothing behind me but traces of my infamy to hand down abandoned name to posterity. so she's like, maybe if when I was young, I was married and I had gotten married like my family wanted, i would have been happier. But now I don't have anything. All I have is my infamy to pass down. And she's kind of reflecting, and she's like, I don't want that to pass down. She's realizing that, like, in all her life, she's never secured a real friend, that the prostitutes, her associates, the libertines who caresses I submitted all despise me.
00:40:46
Speaker
and she goes, to add to my distress, I felt an oppression, a load upon my spirit that I could not shake off. And she
Despair, Suicide Attempt, and Spiritual Turnaround
00:40:54
Speaker
details how it's in these woes and in this worst depression that she has that she does try end her life. She says in her fit of delirium, she drank four ounces of an opium tincture and it didn't work.
00:41:09
Speaker
All it did is just made her feel extremely weak and grow sick in the stomach. And essentially, that is how she felt for two days after After coming to this, she realized like, okay, I can't just sit and wallow. I have to do something. She said, you know, I was determined to shake off everything. And where I found myself turning to was to religion.
00:41:35
Speaker
And so since she was born and brought a Catholic, she had sent for the Reverend who she administered every divine consolation to me in his power. And she felt a lot of comfort in his spiritual advice. She does say, and she does make a huge point of prefacing to her readers that she was no bigot into which specific religion it was.
00:42:02
Speaker
she She essentially goes, she used a little bit of racist terminology, but she goes, I believe that the honest, like indigenous person um and whoever worshiped their God in their own way, that was sure as salvation. And essentially saying like, who am I to judge someone else's religion and the God they worship if they believe that wholeheartedly? In fact, all religions were alike to me.
00:42:27
Speaker
And she says, like, the only reason that she turned to Catholicism is because that's what she grew up in. She says, I wish to do unto mankind as I would wish to be done by. i would work also worship the God of nature and spirit and in truth, no matter whether in a mosque, the meeting house, a chapel, a church, a synagogue, a bed or field.
00:42:48
Speaker
And that creed, in my opinion, will carry any poor sinner to the realm of bliss. what she's essentially saying is like to me it's not so specific which god as opposed to like how you worship the god as long as you just believe in good deeds and doing good deeds upon others she's like i feel like that is what will give you salvation and this is really like what helped heal her soul and she goes now about like how so she now kept like essentially at this point entirely at home and she did wish for the comfort in society and like
00:43:23
Speaker
friendship of some gentlewoman but she's also very hard on herself by saying like what creature on earth would become an intimate of mine and she goes i was resolved to never venture in the shoals of quicksands of matrimony besides in my opinion like what honest gentleman would take a wretch like me be a companion. But because she's no longer, you know, being a madam, she's no longer in the field of prostitution, that means that her money source is gone. And while she thought that, you know, she could make off of like IOUs and promissory notes and bonds because
00:44:11
Speaker
she had that valuing of upwards of two thousand dollars she realized it was a lot harder to get that money from those men than it than what she thought and so now she was it essentially like reduced to like selling her house selling her furniture like going up to a smaller house and essentially like ping and Now, like once again, living a life of destitute.
Writing Memoirs: Profit and Revenge
00:44:40
Speaker
And it was in this time while she was like living in her new house and living, trying to get adjusted to this new life and this lower form of social economic living that she the idea came to her to write her memoirs.
00:44:56
Speaker
As she goes, like, my cash was diminishing and you know my bonds and securities for money cannot procure me a shilling. And which I thought. So she's like, you know, the only source now for profit and revenge of these men who were not paying me back, even though they said they would pay me back, was the publication of my unfortunate life.
00:45:20
Speaker
And because she was all tied up in money and because she was low on funds, she actually ended up herself going to debtor's prison for owing 15 pounds that never got paid. And she's like, in vain, i try to write letters for all those who are indebted to me and wrote melancholy letters describing my situation. And she's like, not one of them would even send me an answer.
00:45:47
Speaker
and she goes weeks passed and the only reason that she had gotten released uh from the the debtor's prison essentially is because of a dear friend by the name of mr falvey who was an old admirer of hers but He had heard about her situation and her affairs because he was come back into the city with his wife now and he was trying to check in on her, could not find her heard about her situation being in this debtor's prison. And he was like, that's not OK.
00:46:22
Speaker
So he ended up collecting. and going he like ended up settling her affairs with like all of the creditors that she owed and then mr falvey went to all of the men in his club who he knew owed margaret money and then other people that he knew around town who owed her money and he made them pay and he ended up getting about let's see like 30 or so guineas from them and he was able to get her out of the debtor's prison and because of his generosity like he got her an apartment and was able to give her enough money to last a month or two to get ourselves back on her feet and him and his wife were very sweet and you know they assured her like hey once you write these memoirs like let us know and we will do our job to like get the word out there get you subscribers so you can
00:47:20
Speaker
who will pay for your memoirs and things were like started starting to like look up again all thanks to this generosity of an old friend so she had able to like make it into this new place she said like as soon as they departed i set up to work and in less than three months had the materials ready for the volume for transcriptions.
00:47:45
Speaker
You know, she was starting to get her life back in order. and She had found a publication house who was able to look it over and do editing. And then she had met Peggy Collins and Peggy Collins would be kind of like the person she would spend the end of her days with. And she describes her as this poor, pretty woman proved a great comfort.
00:48:08
Speaker
I found her intelligent, faithful, sober, discreet, and honest. And when my distresses became too severe for human nature to bear, i found every consolation. And my poor dear Peggy Collins, who never forsook me. And for very shortly after my hiring, I had now a trusty, faithful friend. And, you know, her and Peggy would live in tranquility for a few months. However, tragedy would once again occur. They, her and Peggy were going to visit one of Margaret's friends, woman by the name of Miss H.,
00:48:41
Speaker
And when they were returning to their home after this visit, her and Peggy were attacked by five men who, she said, dragged us into a field, stripped us to our shirts and robbed us of what cash they had, and then raped both her and Peggy.
Assault and Decline in Health
00:49:00
Speaker
And the only reason that her and Peggy were able to escape is because Peggy had scissors on her and was able to stab one of the assailants in the stomach.
00:49:10
Speaker
And after these men had left, they had left them essentially like only wearing their shifts. So they're very basic undergarments. The men had took their shoes and stockings. And so they were essentially barefoot and near and naked in this field.
00:49:29
Speaker
So her and Peggy, they went to bed at their friend's house where they were able to take refuge. But she says, even though they went to bed, it was not to rest. After this great affliction that happened to him, they found out that they were infected with the most wretched of disorders. She goes on to say that they were infected with the worst of the venereal diseases.
00:49:52
Speaker
And it very, very much affected them. And she says, like, it was in all my rounds of pollution, this was something that she had never experienced before. She goes on to say, like, I was resolved to lie under the foul disease till it should terminate my wretched existence.
00:50:13
Speaker
But then she took and Peggy to consideration, was like, no, I need to fight this. So she called on to two doctors and they were able to help her for a bit.
00:50:23
Speaker
And they were able to receive treatment for these diseases. The treatment, however, for venereal diseases at this time, one of them was a salivation treatment.
00:50:36
Speaker
It was ze I'm going to do a whole episode over this. It was a horrible treatment. Essentially, your whole body was wrapped in, covered in a mercury ointment. You were covered in cloth and then you were so put in these really hot saunas to sweat it out. And because of all of that combined, like,
00:50:57
Speaker
the treatment was almost worse than the disease. And that is the treatment that her and Peggy underwent. And they underwent it for almost three months. And she says that they were reduced to skeletons and all their money was exhausted.
00:51:13
Speaker
She says, poor Peggy, soon recovered strength, but she became weaker and weaker every day. And from anxiety and unease, she contracted a fever, which was fairly common with venereal diseases because your immune system is so weak that you can't fight it off, especially when you're doing these types of treatments. She goes on that you know to say, like even though she felt like she got rid of this disorder, but for a considerable time, she felt a languor of her spirits and a weakness in her limbs. And her last line that she wrote in this memoir is, once again, trying just to talk about money and how she can afford to live. She
Margaret's Final Days and Legacy
00:51:55
Speaker
says, I hoped at least it would bring me 500 pounds clear.
00:51:59
Speaker
She's talking about this memoir. But while I write, I feel gradual decline from a broken heart and a destroyed constitution. Destroyed, alas, near the last moments of my life in the most shameful, barbarous manner. Good heavens, my fingers refuse to do their office. Oh, I am sick at heart. My very brain wanders. I fear it dooms day with me. The Lord God of mercy, take compassion on me. And those are the last lines that Margaret ended up writing. As on March 22nd, 1797, at 4 o'clock, Margaret would eventually succumb to the disease while in the care of Ms. Collins.
00:52:38
Speaker
She was 70 years old at the time. which is fairly old to be a madam and a prostitute, but still she could have, it's still a shame the manner in which she died and how she died.
00:52:55
Speaker
She would be laid to rest in St. James' courtyard and would have what Ms. Collins described as a plain and neat funeral. And so that is the story of Margaret Leeson, of how she came to be the most pronounced madam and prostitute in london and dublin a celebrity of the time and how she ended up poor and penniless and dying of a disease this is a great memoir it is almost 400 pages but you can really tell the decline that she faces while writing this and the different style like in the beginning like the first volume, first volume and a half, if you will. She's so full of life. And she's talking about like what it means to be a woman and to stand alone on your own and
00:53:48
Speaker
how it's okay kind of to forge your own path. And, you know, like, F the men, f F these powerful figures, I'm going to do what I want. And you do still see clumpses of that, like in how she goes after the pinky dindies and everything. But you can just see like how she succumbed to feelings of like worthlessness and how it reflects in the writing. And so I think it's also a great message too of like,
00:54:17
Speaker
She was this great woman, but she had great ideas, but she didn't have a plan of how to ever get out. She knew how to execute in the short term. In the long term is where she had issues with. and I think that's very reflective in her life and kind of creates a very drastic difference between the life of Charlotte Hayes, who Charlotte was always planning 10 steps ahead and Margaret,
00:54:48
Speaker
She was always one for living in the moment. So it's just very interesting to see how their lives reflected in that way. and I still think she's a badass and I loved that that even in the 1700s she was standing on her business and not willing to take shit from anyone.
00:55:06
Speaker
But with any with all that said and done, that is today's episode. Thank you so much for listening. I'm so glad to be back. I will be back on a regular ah posted schedule, I promise. If you like this episode, please like, share, subscribe.
00:55:23
Speaker
rate it five stars anything helps i love seeing your comments the this whole two-part series was inspired by a listener's comments so i promise i do read them and i love them and anyways i will see you guys later bye