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Fundraising, “Wednesday,” and the Myths We Need to Kill w/Tom
55 Plays5 months ago
A pop-culture detour with a purpose: Tom breaks down how Netflix’s Wednesday (Season 2) portrays fundraising—manipulative galas, predatory leaders, “mind-control” asks—and contrasts it with ethical, mission-centered practice. If your board’s first idea is “throw a gala,” this one’s for you.
In this episode
- Why TV gets fundraising wrong (manipulation, greed, event-centric thinking)
- What ethical fundraising actually looks like: gratitude, consent, mission & impact
- The real problems with events and “a question to everybody is a question to nobody”
- Better paths than grants-only or cookie/candy sales—and why individualized asks win
Looking for fundraising coaching? Check out www.abundantvision.net
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction
00:00:05
Speaker
Welcome to the Abundant Vision Fundraising Podcast. Whether you are a seasoned professional or a first-time fundraiser, we have the advice you need to take your next step toward major gift mastery.
Meet the Host: Tom Dauber
00:00:18
Speaker
I'm your host, Tom Dauber, President of Abundant Vision Philanthropic Consulting. Last week's conversation was a blast. I'm so excited to have you with me for this next segment.
00:00:30
Speaker
Let's get back to the show.
TV Show Analysis: Fundraising in "Wednesday"
00:00:33
Speaker
Today I wanted to talk about something that I ran across in my weekly television watching. That's something my wife and really enjoy doing, is sitting on the couch, vegging out, and taking in our favorite shows. One show that we like a lot, and our kids like a lot, is the Wednesday series on Netflix.
00:00:57
Speaker
And we were really excited when it got renewed, They set it up for a second season. But what surprised me, first I was kind of happy, but then I was not real happy, was when I discovered that second season primarily centers around fundraising.
00:01:18
Speaker
I mean, that's kind of the backdrop, the context for all the different things happening. If you don't know, I'll try not to spoil things too much, but guess there will be some spoilers involved. So spoiler alert, if you haven't seen the second season of Wednesday on Netflix, don't listen to the rest of this show because I will be talking about how things end up. And again, the context is fundraising, so it fits here.
00:01:46
Speaker
This is really my first time doing some type of pop cultural analysis on the Abundant Vision fundraising podcast. So the overall context for this is Wednesday attends this school for supernaturally gifted sorts of people.
00:02:09
Speaker
And since it's a school, they raise money from their alumni.
Fundraising Gala Scene Breakdown
00:02:13
Speaker
Already, I can tell that many of you are paying attention. Yes, this school has Supernatural alumni, and they're going to a fundraising gala.
00:02:28
Speaker
And it comes to a head very quickly that their wealthiest alum is Morticia Adams' mother, grandmama.
00:02:40
Speaker
Now, in the original series, Grandmama was kind of haggard old kind of witch looking lady. think she was a witch who lived with a family. Well, in this revision of that story, she's a very posh, well-dressed, super successful owner of graveyards across the country.
00:03:04
Speaker
Furthermore, she has an estranged relationship with her daughter, Morticia. So this is, so part of what we see here in the story arc for this season is the headmaster, the head of school, whatever you'd call him, trying to manipulate Morticia into asking her mom for a gift for the school.
00:03:31
Speaker
And that's really the setting for lot of the drama that takes place in this season. So just to cut to the chase here, fundraising is presented in all the worst ways.
00:03:47
Speaker
For example, fundraising is portrayed as being really nothing more than manipulation. It's portrayed as predatory. It's portrayed as being motivated by greed and questionable ethics.
Event-driven vs Mission-focused Fundraising
00:04:02
Speaker
again, spoiler alert, the schoolmaster intended to abscond with the money he raised from Morticia's mother.
00:04:11
Speaker
Five, number five here, fundraising is presented as being purely centered around event-driven fundraising, a big gala.
00:04:23
Speaker
And the weird thing with this event is that it really didn't center around the good work of the organization or the mission. It wasn't a mission-driven event.
00:04:34
Speaker
It was really spectacle. It was a, I think it was a costume ball. And
00:04:42
Speaker
weirdly enough, they didn't raise money at the event. Rather, what they did was they they brought Grandmama in, I forget what her name was in the show, so I'm just gonna keep calling her Grandmama.
00:04:54
Speaker
And they just kind of brought her in on a boat into this gala and made a big deal about her, right?
00:05:05
Speaker
And announced her gift. That was really it. In fact, oh, and they also had her sign away her estate to the school.
00:05:15
Speaker
at the event in front of all the guests. It's lovely.
00:05:19
Speaker
Now, as you can imagine, when the fundraising bad guy found out and confronted,
00:05:29
Speaker
all sorts of things happen. I won't get too far into all that. But anyway, he's defeated. His plan is spoiled. But in the course of all this, Grandmama has said some awful things about, oh, Wednesday's father.
00:06:03
Speaker
So here we have highly visible portrayal of fundraising at a school. And it's just really about greed and manipulation.
00:06:14
Speaker
That's really all it is. Now, if that's your understanding of fundraising, boy, I really hope that we can correct that through this show, through this episode.
00:06:28
Speaker
If you're manipulating people in your fundraising, you're doing something very, very wrong. In fact, I've often told donors in my role as a fundraiser that if after they've made a gift, if they don't feel like they've done something good with their money, then I'm guilty of malpractice, right?
00:06:50
Speaker
It's not about me coming in tricking you with my language or persuading you with my charisma that you should give this money against your will.
00:07:07
Speaker
We're not twisting arms. We're not emotionally blackmailing people. We're not doing any of those things. And of course, this being a supernatural show, they actually So the head of school, this is another great part.
00:07:23
Speaker
So the head of school has a scholarship student, is poor, and can't afford to go to school there. But she is, her supernatural gifting is that she is a siren.
00:07:35
Speaker
And so she can mind control people.
00:07:38
Speaker
She can just use her magic powers to force people to do things they don't want to do. And so he says to her, hey, you need to be the student liaison for the gala and help me run it.
00:07:51
Speaker
And she doesn't really want to, but he says to her, hey, if you don't do this, I'm going to revoke your scholarship and you're not going to have any...
00:08:05
Speaker
ability to attend the school anymore. And so he forces her against her will to be a student ambassador or liaison for this gala. And so because he has grandmama in mind for this gift, he sends her to Morticia and tries to persuade Morticia to be involved in running the gala as an alum.
00:08:31
Speaker
of the school. And so they managed to get that part done at least without using mind control tactics or anything. But then
The Ethics of Emotional Engagement in Fundraising
00:08:41
Speaker
when the student asks Morticia if she would be willing to go to her grandmother, and now this is at the behest of the headmaster, to go to her mother for gift,
00:08:55
Speaker
Morticia discloses that, hey, we're not on good terms. We don't talk to each other. We're estranged. And when the student comes back and reports this to the headmaster, the headmaster is like, well, hey, you have to use your siren abilities on Morticia to force her to solicit her grandmother.
00:09:14
Speaker
Well, again, blackmailing her with the threat of being expelled from the school and having her scholarship revoked, she does what you'd expect a student to do with that power dynamic going on.
00:09:27
Speaker
And she mind controls Morticia to solicit her grandmother. And of course, that doesn't really work.
00:09:37
Speaker
That doesn't happen the way the headmaster wants it to. So again, headmaster forces the student mind control grandmama into handing over her entire estate.
00:09:50
Speaker
Now, this gets Wednesday suspicious because just the previous day, grandmama had been saying that she would never give cent to the school.
00:10:01
Speaker
And then after meeting with this student, she agrees to hand over her entire fortune to the school while still alive.
00:10:11
Speaker
So,
00:10:12
Speaker
again, so many problems.
00:10:15
Speaker
The heart of fundraising,
00:10:17
Speaker
I believe, is gratitude. It's not persuasion.
00:10:20
Speaker
Now, I do believe that there is a certain percentage of the population that needs to have a case made if they're gonna give.
00:10:28
Speaker
I think there's good evidence-based rationale to believe that about half of the population grateful and inclined towards generosity, and half of the population is not grateful, not inclined towards gratitude, and therefore is not as motivated to give.
00:10:52
Speaker
And I think there's probably a small group in the middle somewhere that could go either way if you could just make the right case.
00:10:59
Speaker
But I don't believe that making the case as to why something's a rational decision or why something has merit is manipulation. It shouldn't be. When presenting the gospel, when presenting a fundraising opportunity,
00:11:15
Speaker
Should we use language? Should we use examples that touch the heart? That evoke emotion? Yeah, I think so.
00:11:25
Speaker
think we should try to touch the heart with our presentations.
00:11:29
Speaker
You know, as Jim Langley has said, Aptly stated, you need to elicit before you solicit, right?
00:11:39
Speaker
You want to elicit emotion in your donors before you solicit a gift for that purpose.
00:11:47
Speaker
But we shouldn't be trying to manipulate right? I'm an emotional guy.
00:11:52
Speaker
I cry sometimes. I hear things and tears come to my eyes, you know? I'm moved by things. But simply because I'm moved, I don't feel like I've been manipulated.
00:12:04
Speaker
think I've emotionally engaged with some truth, some reality, and my body's responded to that, right? And so you can use emotional language and emotional examples without being manipulative.
00:12:20
Speaker
I think where the manipulation comes in is where, you know, you've got people saying, I'm never going to forgive you if you don't make this gift, or using mind control tactics, which obviously we're not... In the real world, that isn't something that happens.
00:12:37
Speaker
Now, the other point here is predation, right? This head of school is a predator. He's actually criminal.
00:12:47
Speaker
He's trying to
00:12:51
Speaker
identify people that he can solicit for his own personal gain.
00:12:56
Speaker
This is interesting because one thing that I found, one piece of emotional baggage I think that sometimes prevents people from raising money is when they view the act of fundraising as asking for money for themselves.
00:13:10
Speaker
I remember one nonprofit leader that I spoke to who was kind of skeptical about major gift fundraising. fundraising. I was talking with him about the approach that I advocate for. And I was encouraging him to think about, well, you should be thinking about the people that love your organization and you should be asking them to give generously to things they care about.
00:13:37
Speaker
And he looked at me, said, well, isn't that selfish to ask people to give me money for things I want to do? And I looked at him I thought to myself, well, it's not selfish.
00:13:52
Speaker
If you're asking people to give to something that you believe in, that makes good difference in the world, it has a real impact, that isn't asking people to give you money.
00:14:06
Speaker
mean, if that's how you view it, then yeah, I guess that would be selfish. But in reality, I think you're believing something that's false.
Fundraising's Societal Benefits
00:14:14
Speaker
When I'm soliciting a gift, I'm not asking them to give me money for my benefit. I'm asking them give money through me to the people benefiting
00:14:26
Speaker
See, what this nonprofit leader was doing was really betraying wrong view fundraising.
00:14:33
Speaker
He hadn't really come to terms with the fact that even though he wanted to do it,
00:14:39
Speaker
he wasn't really asking for money for himself. He was asking in this particular case, you know, to support like
00:14:47
Speaker
works of compassion that his church was wanting to do. You know, like feed the poor, you know, run a food pantry, help immigrants navigate the legal system and become citizens.
00:14:59
Speaker
Right? I mean, yeah, that was the thing that his nonprofit was doing, but it wasn't for him. It was for the people.
00:15:05
Speaker
So
00:15:06
Speaker
when we're fundraising, we shouldn't view that act as predatory or greedy, Now, another thing this brought to light was in this particular setup at this school, this individual had the ability to take the money and leave with it.
Financial Safeguards in Nonprofits
00:15:23
Speaker
Now, that's something I hope that all nonprofits have checks and balances against. We shouldn't be in a place where if I give you money, that money is directly accessible to the executive director the head of school or whatever the CEO position is in your context where they can just walk away with it.
00:15:48
Speaker
You know, you want auditing practices. You want CFO. You want a CFO. whose signature is also required on something. Maybe even somebody from your board. Like,
00:16:01
Speaker
you don't want to have a loosey-goosey system where people can just come in and take those monies.
00:16:06
Speaker
Now, this was centered also around a fundraising event. So many problems. A, honestly, fundraising events,
00:16:18
Speaker
have highly questionable ROIs. I'm not saying there aren't ways to do it where it's a good investment. So don't hear that from me. But oftentimes,
00:16:29
Speaker
when you add up all the staff time spent and the value of that staff time, when you add up the expenditure,
00:16:38
Speaker
that you've spent to put on that event, plus the value of the staff time,
00:16:43
Speaker
you oftentimes don't raise as much money as you spend.
The Reality of Fundraising Event Returns
00:16:46
Speaker
Sometimes you do. And again, there's some people out there who do a really great job raising money through events. Don't hear that as a personal criticism. But I'm just talking generally about fundraising.
00:16:59
Speaker
And this show is in kind of the domain of popular culture.
00:17:04
Speaker
It's kind of mirror, I think, that reflects common views, common misconceptions of what fundraising is. Because if you take the average person and tell them, hey, I want to raise a whole bunch of money, they're going to talk you about, well, let's put on a fundraiser, right?
00:17:20
Speaker
Maybe they'll even ask you to sell sell brownies or do a car wash, right? Why do we think that throwing a party or selling something is the best way to raise money?
00:17:32
Speaker
Well, I think it's for a couple reasons. is that we're afraid to ask people for money. We're afraid. We're afraid to sit down with someone face-to-face because of all of our psychological baggage around money that we all have.
00:17:46
Speaker
I've had it. you know, had to deal with it. We're afraid of that. What feels a lot safer is to be in a large room of people and say, hey, you guys, there's a need over here. Could some of you give?
00:17:59
Speaker
That feels safer to us psychologically. is it effective? That's what I want to know. I would tell you that when you ask a large group of people for help,
00:18:08
Speaker
A lot of people aren't going to give because they presume somebody else is going to give. You know, there's an old adage I learned a long time ago, and that is that a question to everybody is a question to nobody.
00:18:20
Speaker
You want specific solicitations to specific people for specific things. That's what you want. You don't want to just throw it out there. Hey, would you all think about maybe helping us with this thing?
00:18:32
Speaker
Because more than half of the people are in that room aren't going to help you. Most of those people are just going to assume someone else gave.
00:18:37
Speaker
That's why I don't like fundraising events. As a general rule. Again, I've seen some good ones, been at them. But generally speaking, they don't really put the question to each individual for serious consideration.
00:18:53
Speaker
And they oftentimes don't make a specific ask. I mean, honestly, if I'm talking to someone with seven-figure capability, someone who could legitimately write write a million-dollar check to support my nonprofit, and I walk away with a $500 check or $1,000 check, have I really done my job as a fundraiser?
00:19:17
Speaker
Have I really optimized that giving opportunity. No.
00:19:22
Speaker
That's why the personalized ask is so important. When you get a bunch of people in the room, you're all asking them for the same amount of money.
00:19:31
Speaker
Essentially. You might say, hey, we need some of you to do big gift and others of you to do a small gift. I don't know what you're going to do, but typically how it plays out is asking everyone to think about it pray about it, and then contribute what they can.
00:19:46
Speaker
Right? Well, you're not, in that scenario, talking to a person about the importance of them playing a leadership role in your campaign.
00:19:56
Speaker
You're not asking them specifically if they would consider a seven-figure or six-figure gift. And that's a thing that you need to do if you're going to be successful at fundraising. You need to ask specific people for specific things, but it's outside of our comfort zone, right?
00:20:11
Speaker
Same thing with sales, bake sales, car washes. God bless the Girl Scouts and their cookies, but selling cookies, right? Or coming door to door, sending your kid door to door to sell popcorn or whatever.
00:20:27
Speaker
And please don't do that to me. Ask me for a hundred bucks. I'll give you hundred dollar bill. you know, for the charity of your choice. But don't send your kid to my door to sell popcorn to me.
00:20:39
Speaker
I'm not going to buy it. Too much of that money goes to the third party whose popcorn you're selling.
00:20:46
Speaker
But we look at that as a thing that we ought to do. is that it feels more comfortable.
00:20:52
Speaker
It fits into the way we live and the culturally accepted ways of engaging socially.
00:21:02
Speaker
Like, I'm comfortable with going to the store and buying something. I'm comfortable with going to a party. And I think that's why so many people, when you tell them you need to raise money, say that.
00:21:13
Speaker
Well, let's sell some things. Or let's throw a party. And that's oftentimes one of the worst ways to raise money.
00:21:23
Speaker
And I'll pick on grant writing a little bit too.
00:21:25
Speaker
Well, foundations are organizations that exist for the purpose of giving money away. So there's already culturally accepted understanding of why they're there.
00:21:38
Speaker
You can ask them for And you should. Organizations I've worked for have gotten a lot of money from grants. I've written grant applications that have been successful and have brought in a lot of money from my employers.
00:21:54
Speaker
However, you gotta keep in mind, whether it's a foundation or even some large corporation, because you always get that. Well, you just need to go ask Bill Gates for a bunch of money.
00:22:03
Speaker
You need to go ask Jeff Bezos for a bunch of money. That's who has the money is Amazon or Microsoft. The problem with that line of thinking, same thing with the foundations, is that everybody thinks that.
00:22:15
Speaker
Everybody's asking them for money because they know they have money.
00:22:18
Speaker
And in the case of the foundations, they know they exist to give money away.
Competing for Corporate and Foundation Funds
00:22:22
Speaker
So everyone's approaching them. And there's like millions of nonprofits in our country.
00:22:30
Speaker
So yes, you can ask them and sometimes you'll be successful. But it's far much easier to ask wealthy individual who's passionate about the same things your organization has been.
00:22:42
Speaker
You cut down the competition tremendously when you go to an individual. Because in most cases, you don't have millions or thousands even of nonprofits approaching an individual for a grant, for a gift.
00:22:58
Speaker
All that being said,
00:23:00
Speaker
what this show demonstrates to us is that we have a cultural understanding of fundraising that centers around all the wrong things, right?
00:23:12
Speaker
Event-based fundraising, questionable ethics, greedy motivations, predation, and manipulation.
Mission-focused Fundraising Events
00:23:22
Speaker
That's not good.
00:23:23
Speaker
We need to make sure that if we do events, that those events are centered around not making our donors feel glitzy and glamorous, but around the mission of our organization.
00:23:34
Speaker
Events should highlight the impact, the difference that you're making in the world.
00:23:39
Speaker
And the notion
00:23:41
Speaker
that you would have any donor sign a gift agreement in front of a room full of people at an event is just ridiculous.
00:23:50
Speaker
That's a private thing. That's something to do in a room behind closed doors. I wouldn't even do that at a restaurant, frankly.
00:23:58
Speaker
It just made me feel like the people that wrote that script really had no clue what fundraising was like, or about.
Media's Role in Fundraising Portrayals
00:24:07
Speaker
I hate that the villain in that show was a fundraiser.
00:24:11
Speaker
That was sad to me. I hope that down the road, maybe there might be a show somewhere that shows fundraising in a positive light.
00:24:21
Speaker
that shows donors who are so glad they gave money away.
00:24:26
Speaker
And maybe even shows children and grandchildren of those donors of their parents and grandparents for having made a difference in the world with their money.
00:24:52
Speaker
That's a really cynical take on philanthropy. And one that I hope all of us together can do our part to correct by raising money ethically,
00:25:02
Speaker
by keeping our requests and our events focused on mission, focused on outcomes,
00:25:08
Speaker
focused on the heart of the good work we're doing in this world.
Podcast Conclusion and Call to Action
00:25:13
Speaker
I could go on and on about this show, but it's been bugging me. Wanted to get that off my chest. I hope that this has been interesting to you and I, and go watch the show.
00:25:24
Speaker
I mean, it's, it's entertaining. It's a, it's a good flick fundraising aside. but I'd encourage you to watch it yourself and, and please leave some comments about what you think of the show and how you think,
00:25:42
Speaker
our cultural understanding of fundraising shaped this sort of thing. Now, if you've enjoyed this podcast, please be sure to subscribe and give us a five-star rating on your podcast provider. Dauber, thank you for joining me as we journey together towards major gift mastery on the Abundant Vision Fundraising Podcast.