Early in his career, a colleague looked at Tom Dauber's resume and said: "I guess you won't be able to scare people with the threat of hell anymore, will you?" Tom didn't have a response. He just absorbed it.

Years later, he found the words he wished he'd had -- in a 60-page book by a Catholic priest named Henri Nouwen. In this episode, Tom walks through the ideas in A Spirituality of Fundraising that reframe the ask entirely. Whether or not faith is your framework, Nouwen's core argument applies: fundraising is the opposite of begging, your anxiety is your biggest obstacle, and the fundraiser who walks in needing the gift has already lost the room.

This one is for any fundraiser who has ever felt embarrassed to ask.

Looking for fundraising coaching? Check out www.abundantvision.net [http://www.abundantvision.net/]

Buy Nouwen's Fundraising Classic Here:  https://www.amazon.com/Spirituality-Fundraising-Henri-Nouwen/dp/0835810445/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1NJOO4TQMKEOJ&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.hejcFfRXDXR3448Y8xHqqt8DhXxj8GRkoiGOBd_qHzZHo5w_-poNrQiw-pTmiZSYZLC3YovvbhreEKuaZsHdJmG1V94ttTaG3dY-Ii1AiujbieZ0pc18xKZveHlTto0GFqknqBtHZDq37vaQGchiC9DRrwHLLsJJhOOLD-oLZQOM93r0Hcy3ZT1UJwJ99iXGlCZH5R6E4BCkBTgxX7rjMj48pOUPnVlylRj6kSfe6o0.w_OGtHa3tdE6Zp7juEPWDjIq5uKTXe6B7qlMkwWizco&dib_tag=se&keywords=a+spirituality+of+fundraising&qid=1777665208&sprefix=a+spiritu%2Caps%2C134&sr=8-1

Stop Apologizing for the Ask: Lessons from Henri Nouwen

A friend texted Tom asking how to raise money for her kid's lacrosse team. His answer? The same three questions he's used for 30 years — from asking his Sunday school teacher for a $75 check at age 16 to running major gift campaigns at universities and health systems. In this episode, Tom breaks down the framework that scales from youth sports fundraising all the way to seven-figure campaigns, and explains why the single biggest mistake most fundraisers make is asking everyone instead of asking someone.

Looking for fundraising coaching? Check out www.abundantvision.net [http://www.abundantvision.net/]

Three Questions Every Fundraiser Must Answer

In the final part of my conversation with Jason Lewis, we move from diagnosis to direction.

If fundraising has drifted toward systems, scale, and transactional thinking, what does it look like to recover something more human?

Jason argues that the answer is not better technology or smarter dashboards. It is proximity. It is presence. It is getting fundraisers back in front of donors and letting real relationships shape the work.

In this episode we explore:

 * Why fundraising may have a supervision problem, not a fundraiser problem
 * How leadership culture shapes donor experience
 * The importance of increasing proximity and real conversation
 * Why young fundraisers should prioritize experience over optimization
 * What it means to operate by different rules, like Dorothy stepping into Oz

If you are leading a team, entering the profession, or questioning where fundraising is headed, this episode offers both clarity and encouragement.

Find Jason's Substack, The Butterfly Effect Here:  https://responsive.substack.com/

Looking for fundraising coaching?  Check out www.abundantvision.net

Back to the Relationship: Proximity, Presence, and the Future of Fundraising w/ Jason Lewis

In Part 3 of my conversation with Jason Lewis, we move into uncomfortable territory.

If fundraising feels transactional, the issue may not just be external systems. It may also be how we use data, how we scale, and how we supervise fundraisers inside our organizations.

Jason challenges the assumptions behind:

 * Wealth screening and hidden data
 * CRM systems and personalization
 * The pressure to grow donor files endlessly
 * The idea that more scale equals more impact

We also discuss what he calls the “supervisor problem” and how internal expectations can mirror the same distortions donors experience on the outside.

This episode invites leaders and major gift officers to examine whether the systems meant to help us are quietly shaping us into something we never intended to become.

Find Jason's Substack, The Butterfly Effect here: https://responsive.substack.com/

Looking for fundraising coaching?  Check out www.abundantvision.net

Personalization Isn’t Personal: Data, Scale, and the Supervisor Problem w/ Jason Lewis

In Part 2 of my conversation with Jason Lewis, we move from defining gift theory to examining what may be distorting modern fundraising.

If fundraising often feels transactional, there may be a reason. Jason unpacks how market thinking, grant structures, and subtle power dynamics shape the way organizations approach donors. What happens when generosity begins to resemble a purchase? What happens when philanthropy starts to operate like retail?

In this episode we explore:

 * How sales logic influences donor relationships
 * The impact of grant-driven and bureaucratic systems
 * Why hierarchy can replace mutuality
 * A revealing feasibility study story that exposes how donors experience these distortions

If you have ever sensed that something feels misaligned in the way fundraising operates, this episode will help you articulate why.

Find Jason's Substack, The Butterfly Effect here: https://responsive.substack.com/

Looking for fundraising coaching?  Check out www.abundantvision.net

Are We Treating Donors Like Customers? w/ Jason Lewis

Most fundraisers have never heard the term “gift theory.” Yet it may explain many of the frustrations we experience in our work.In this conversation, 

Jason Lewis and I explore a foundational question: what actually makes a gift different from a sale or a tax?

Jason introduces the concept of “modes of exchange” and explains how societies have historically organized themselves around three different ways of relating: gift, market, and coercion. 

We examine how modern fundraising may have borrowed too heavily from sales and bureaucratic models, and why that matters for donor retention, trust, and long-term relationships.

If you have ever felt that fundraising can become transactional, pressured, or overly mechanical, this episode will help you step back and reconsider the moral architecture behind what we do.Topics we cover:
      

       -Jason’s fundraising origin story
      -What gift theory is and where it comes from
      -Gift mode vs sales mode vs coercive mode
      -Why fundraising often feels transactional
      -Whether we are using the wrong toolbox in our profession

This episode sets the foundation for a deeper exploration of generosity, responsibility, and the true nature of the gift.

Find Jason's Substack, The Butterfly Effect here: https://responsive.substack.com/

Looking for fundraising coaching?  Check out www.abundantvision.net

Fundraising Beyond Transactions: Rediscovering the Logic of the Gift w/ Jason Lewis

This bonus episode features the full Q&A from the Brady Ware webinar. Thomas answers practical questions about overcoming fear, stretching vision responsibly, building donor confidence, and creating the structures that keep fundraising focused and sustainable. This final installment brings together the most actionable insights from the entire series.
Looking for fundraising coaching? Check out www.abundantvision.net
Looking for accounting or advisory services? Visit bradyware.com

Bonus Q&A From the Brady Ware Webinar w/ Thomas Dauber

In Part Three of the Brady Ware training, Thomas focuses on the structures and weekly habits that drive major gift momentum. You will learn a simple rhythm for donor engagement, a practical meeting script that centers purpose, and a framework for aligning your time, message, and goals. Whether you lead a small shop or a large team, these disciplines help create steadiness, clarity, and long-term growth.
Looking for fundraising coaching? Check out www.abundantvision.net
Looking for accounting or advisory services? Visit bradyware.com

Fundraising With Confidence, Part Three w/ Thomas Dauber

Part Two continues the Brady Ware webinar series with a deep dive into leadership vision and the emotional steadiness required for transformational philanthropy. Thomas walks through why donors respond to clarity, why vague vision creates doubt, and how leaders can cast a compelling future that donors want to join. The story of two university deans illustrates the difference between shrinking an opportunity and rising to it.
Looking for fundraising coaching? Check out www.abundantvision.net
Looking for accounting or advisory services? Visit bradyware.com

Fundraising With Confidence, Part Two w/ Thomas Dauber

In Part One of this special three-part training, Thomas shares the opening portion of a webinar he delivered for Brady Ware’s nonprofit division. This session explores how personal history, family money messages, and early experiences with asking quietly shape the way fundraisers show up with donors. Thomas offers practical tools for grounding yourself in mission, understanding the roots of fear, and beginning the shift toward confidence and clarity in your solicitations.
Looking for fundraising coaching? Check out www.abundantvision.net
Looking for accounting or advisory services? Visit bradyware.com

Fundraising With Confidence, Part One w/ Thomas Dauber

Spend 20 minutes each week with host Tom Dauber as he shares insights, tips and expert interviews to help you on your journey to #majorgiftmastery.  

THOMAS DAUBER

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