Transcript
Speaker: Hey there, I'm Krista Hernandez, 30-something bookish nerd living with my husband, our fur babies, and lupus.
Speaker: It took over 20 years, but I found my path to managing and healing chronic illness.
Speaker: Now, I'm here to help you find yours.
Speaker: Hello ladies, glad you made it back for another installment of SheLived.
Speaker: We're diving into a thorny topic today, and I'll start by telling you about the very last time I commented on the interwebs in a non-business capacity.
Speaker: About five years ago, while I was struggling with thyroid medication, I was Googling around to see if I could improve things through diet.
Speaker: I stumbled on a women's health blog.
Speaker: I don't remember the topic of this one post, but there was a comment from a woman that went something like this.
Speaker: It took me a while to understand that I'm simply a food addict.
Speaker: It's a disease.
Speaker: I just have to accept that this is who I am and there's nothing I can do about my weight.
Speaker: This did not sit well with me and I couldn't let it go like I should have.
Speaker: I thought, oh, I have to set this woman straight, albeit in a kind way, so that she can see the error of her ways.
Speaker: and she and others will thank me for lighting their way to better health.
Speaker: So I replied saying something like this.
Speaker: I totally understand the struggle.
Speaker: I was obese as a kid.
Speaker: But calling yourself a food addict kinda seems like a cop-out, a way to shirk responsibility for your weight or health.
Speaker: It's not socially acceptable to be a cocaine addict or a gambling addict.
Speaker: It sounds like, just like with other kinds of addiction, you need to work through emotional issues at the root of it.
Speaker: Or you may have an underlying medical condition that's part of the problem.
Speaker: Now, some of you may be cringing because you know how this story ends.
Speaker: My naive ass did not.
Speaker: It was like an emergency signal went out to every woman who'd ever visited that website.
Speaker: They came in droves, wielding pitchforks against the skinny bitch who dared to raise a voice against the body positivity movement.
Speaker: The way I see it, body positivity as a concept and body positivity as a movement are two different things.
Speaker: I support the concept 100%.
Speaker: We should absolutely accept all bodies regardless of size and shape.
Speaker: But this concept has been twisted by a movement that I do think began with good empowering intentions.
Speaker: However, it's been hijacked by ideas that are downright dangerous, especially for women with chronic illness.
Speaker: We have all struggled with body image, whether we're overweight, underweight, or a size six hourglass.
Speaker: Unfortunately, it's part of growing up in a misogynistic society.
Speaker: So it's totally empowering and brave for women to rise up and say, we love our bodies as they are.
Speaker: But here's what the loudest voices in this movement miss.
Speaker: Body positivity can't be just about image.
Speaker: It also has to be about health.
Speaker: So when I was in seventh grade, for reasons I will never understand, we got our heights and weights measured by the school nurse in the gym in front of everyone.
Speaker: That September, I clocked in at 5'4 and 208 pounds.
Speaker: Just a few weeks later, lupus hit me like a freight train.
Speaker: Coincidence?
Speaker: Definitely not.
Speaker: I was obese because I was raised in a house where food was love.
Speaker: And I also got a lot of Italian home cooking at grandma's.
Speaker: But then there's the chicken or egg question.
Speaker: Did my weight cause my autoimmune disease?
Speaker: Or did the disease cause the weight problem?
Speaker: Short answer, some of both.
Speaker: I was heavily predisposed to lupus, which I recently found out through genetic testing.
Speaker: Lots of things can trigger those genes to launch a full-scale attack on our own bodies.
Speaker: Obesity is one of them.
Speaker: But even if obesity isn't a trigger for a disease, it's very often a symptom of one.
Speaker: So the body positivity movement is not only setting the table for future disease, it may be masking existing disease for a lot of women.
Speaker: If you're shaking your head right now, think of it like this.
Speaker: You see someone walking down the street who's 50 pounds underweight.
Speaker: Your first thought is probably going to be, oh my God, get that person to a hospital.
Speaker: They're sick and severely malnourished.
Speaker: In contrast, if you see someone who's 50 pounds overweight, you probably don't bat an eye, especially here in the US.
Speaker: But when you really think about it, what's the difference?
Speaker: Both people are very likely malnourished, and both people are suffering from or at increased risk for serious health issues.
Speaker: Granted, the person who's grossly underweight may be in more immediate trouble, but that doesn't make obesity any less dangerous.
Speaker: And according to the National Institutes of Health, over 40% of American adults are now obese.
Speaker: But you know the stat that really punches me in the gut?
Speaker: Over 20% of kids are now obese.
Speaker: When I hear that, I can't help but think of all the little girls headed down the path to chronic illness, whether it's diabetes, Hashimoto's, or some other autoimmune disease that will be triggered by the domino effects of obesity.
Speaker: It only gets tougher as we age, have children, as stress affects our hormones.
Speaker: And the deck is particularly stacked against women of color due to economic inequality, a discriminatory healthcare system, and the generalized stress of living with racism.
Speaker: All of this is why the loudest voices in the body positivity movement are doing harm, even if they have good intentions.
Speaker: Look at what happened with Tom's shoes.
Speaker: You remember them?
Speaker: The shoe company that for every pair of shoes purchased, they'd give a pair of shoes to an African child in need?
Speaker: Sounds great in theory, but in practice, it was a disaster.
Speaker: The business model not only created a dependence on these shoes, but it caused major problems in the local African economies it served.
Speaker: Recognizing this, the company stopped the practice back in 2019.
Speaker: So here's what I propose.
Speaker: We love our bodies no matter what they look like, and we take steps to get them healthy no matter what they look like.
Speaker: Easier said than done, I know.
Speaker: I am 5'4", but lupus stunted all of my growth.
Speaker: So I have the bone structure of a woman who was supposed to be more like 5'9".
Speaker: I've got T-Rex arms, no boobs, a barely defined waist that's up around my armpits, and one of my legs is longer than the other.
Speaker: And like many of you listening, my very imperfect looking body was also a physical wreck for a long time.
Speaker: I used to get so angry at it, just out loud screaming, why are you doing this to me?
Speaker: Why won't you work?
Speaker: Plus, there's so much pressure out there to be all aboard on the body positivity train, isn't there?
Speaker: Look what happened to Adele when she got herself to a healthy weight.
Speaker: All those people who attacked her on social media calling her a sellout just because she took positive steps to improve her health.
Speaker: Then there's family.
Speaker: My parents refused to acknowledge my childhood obesity because they would have had to take responsibility for it.
Speaker: I've seen it manifest in other cultures too.
Speaker: My husband's family is Cuban.
Speaker: Pete recently told me that when they were here for Christmas, that's when he knew he really had to lose some weight.
Speaker: I asked him why.
Speaker: He said because this year his mom didn't tell him he was too skinny.
Speaker: Okay, so how do we deal with all this?
Speaker: How do we start to love our bodies if they're not perfect, if they don't work?
Speaker: First things first, get this through your head.
Speaker: There is no such thing as a perfect body.
Speaker: Perfection does not exist.
Speaker: And if you're trying to attain it, stop now.
Speaker: You're chasing an illusion perpetuated by marketing.
Speaker: Margot Robbie does not wake up looking like Barbie.
Speaker: And I guarantee there's something she doesn't like about her body.
Speaker: I can't imagine what it is, but I'm sure there's something.
Speaker: Once you've processed that, know this.
Speaker: You are not broken.
Speaker: Your body does work because you are alive.
Speaker: It just works differently than other people's.
Speaker: And you have to figure out what it needs.
Speaker: Think of your body like a car.
Speaker: If it has a diesel engine, but you fill the tank with gasoline, you're playing with fire.
Speaker: You've got to fuel it property and give it regular maintenance for it to run well.
Speaker: Now we come to family and friends.
Speaker: There's a good chance that if you take effective action to reach a healthy weight, someone close to you will be a dick about it.
Speaker: If that happens, know this.
Speaker: Their behavior has nothing to do with you and everything to do with their own fears and insecurities.
Speaker: You can only control how you react to these people.
Speaker: And you have a few options here.
Speaker: Option one, just ignore it.
Speaker: Option two, invite them to join you, especially if their negativity seems rooted in envy.
Speaker: Option three, be blunt and honest about how they're making you feel.
Speaker: It's amazing how quickly some people will change their behavior or get real about the reasons for it when you're brave enough to confront them.
Speaker: Option four, if option three doesn't work and this dickish behavior extends to other areas of your relationship, maybe consider spending less time around that person.
Speaker: Whatever option you choose, just be kind and calm about it.
Speaker: Lashing out won't help the situation or your stress level.
Speaker: And most importantly, be kind to yourself.
Speaker: If you can't look in a mirror and love what you see, that's okay.
Speaker: It's a process.
Speaker: And you're not less than if you don't love every hair, freckle, or stretch mark, especially on a bloat day.
Speaker: And if reaching a healthy weight feels like climbing Mount Everest to you, remember that everyone who reached the top did it one step at a time.
Speaker: They weren't alone, and neither are you.
Speaker: I'll be here every week guiding you along to get healthy in body, mind, and spirit.
Speaker: In the meantime, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic.
Speaker: So come chat with me on Instagram at Krista H. Des or email me at Krista at KristaHernandez.com.
Speaker: Check out the show notes for those links and the link to my website.
Speaker: There, you can get my free weekly sanity planner, a task manager tailored to the challenges you face with chronic illness.
Speaker: It'll help you prioritize your to-do list and be more efficient with your most precious resources, time and energy.
Speaker: So go to kristahernandez.com and get your free weekly sanity planner today.
Speaker: Your body will thank you tomorrow.
Speaker: Thanks for joining me here on SheLived.
Speaker: See you next time.
