Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Parent Tech Allies, where we share insights from the movers and shakers shaping the field of parent support from fertility through the teen years.
Speaker: I'm your host, Carly Buxton.
Speaker: Let's get started.
Speaker: Today, I'm so happy to introduce Jessica Holton as our guest.
Speaker: She is a multi-time founder with a background in businesses that range from skincare to job tech.
Speaker: And right now she is at the helm as co-founder of Ours,
Speaker: a relationship wellness company.
Speaker: Welcome, Jessica.
Speaker: Thank you so much, Carly, for having me.
Speaker: It is such a pleasure to be here and to chat all things family, parenting, relationships with you.
Speaker: Fantastic.
Speaker: So a little context for how the two of us know each other.
Speaker: I originally heard about this company as I'm a regular listener of Adam Grant's podcast,
Speaker: and was listening to it one day when a founder came on and essentially Adam Grant kind of skewered you for the way that you had reached out asking for help.
Speaker: And I immediately felt like I knew you and like I was your friend because I am in the same stage of like building a company at that time.
Speaker: And you said exactly what I would have said.
Speaker: And I thought it was very brave of you to go on and just kind of absorb his advice.
Speaker: After that, I dove into learning more about
Speaker: your company and seeing it as something so valuable for the parents who are on Nestle, or families anywhere, really.
Speaker: And so I'd love to start, if you could tell us a little bit more about how do you describe ours?
Speaker: What does your company do?
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: Well, thank you for listening to that podcast.
Speaker: I was, Adam Grant is such an incredible leader and someone who I was, have been in awe of for a very long time.
Speaker: And so I loved that you provided that support and it was, it was very nerve wracking.
Speaker: So hearing that was really nice.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, so ours is on a mission to help people have happier, healthier lives through stronger relationships.
Speaker: So research shows that the number one predictor of how we age is not how well we keep care of our physical bodies or even our mental health.
Speaker: It's how close our closest relationships are and the integrity of those relationships.
Speaker: Yet there's really not that much out there to help us with our relationships.
Speaker: There's no school that we can go to.
Speaker: There's no courses really that you can take to prepare yourself to be a really great partner and to receive really great partnership.
Speaker: And so several years ago, I started looking into couples therapy for me and my then boyfriend, now fiance, so good ending.
Speaker: And we were looking for couples therapy because we had only two real kind of role models or blueprints of relationships.
Speaker: And as we were getting more and more serious, we wanted to take that next step and say, what do we want our relationship to look at, look like?
Speaker: We care so much about our relationship.
Speaker: It's the biggest part of our lives and what we prioritize.
Speaker: And we wanted to care for it as much as we possibly could and set it up for success.
Speaker: But what we found was trying to find a couples therapist was so extremely difficult.
Speaker: And in addition to it being difficult logistically, it also just came with like an incredible
Speaker: very deep stigma of that there must be something wrong with me or must be something wrong with him or us.
Speaker: And so that's really what lit a fire up for me where I've always been passionate about belongingness and making everyone feel like we belong where we're trying to seek support and help.
Speaker: And having the opposite of that experience is what inspired me to build ours.
Speaker: So we are on a mission to destigmatize going to couples therapy and help couples care for their relationship, grow in their relationship through all the ups and downs, whether they're looking to invest in their relationship proactively ahead of something like getting married or having a baby or having a second baby.
Speaker: or going through something more significantly reactive, like a sickness in the family, or a change in job, or moving, or any of the various downs that we all feel from time to time in our relationships.
Speaker: So my earliest memory of what your company put out there was engagement, counseling, or sort of like, all right, you're thinking of getting married.
Speaker: Here's something to help guide you through it.
Speaker: Could you tell us a little bit about the journey of where you started with the product and where it is today?
Speaker: I hope you have hours of time.
Speaker: So I'll start at the very beginning.
Speaker: I met my co-founder when I was working on building a couples coaching platform.
Speaker: And my co-founder, Adam, who is one of the best people in the entire world that I know, he was building a company that was digital social tools for couples to invest in their relationships.
Speaker: So we met and we were just really like kind of networking and getting to know other founders in the space.
Speaker: And we immediately found that we just saw the world the same way.
Speaker: We were very complimentary in terms of skill sets and approaches and decided to be co-founders.
Speaker: But I share that because that influenced the early initial products that we intended to build, which was we actually started with a group
Speaker: virtual program where 10 couples would be part of a group and we called it the marriage retreat.
Speaker: And it was meant to be a real like kind of relationship check-in across all the major, all the major pieces of your relationship.
Speaker: So we had experts come in and educate and lead activities and exercises around sex and intimacy, finances, communication, conflict resolution, roles and responsibilities at home, and
Speaker: Kind of all these major pillars of relationship health that every couple we think should check in on.
Speaker: And so we started kind of for the first several months of building ours, formerly known as Actually back then, it was all about group virtual kind of like education experiences.
Speaker: It then morphed into taking the group element out of it for various reasons and instead focusing on the couple, virtually meeting two-on-one with a couple's coach and doing asynchronous interviews.
Speaker: self-guided content and exercises on their own.
Speaker: And that is the program that you ultimately saw.
Speaker: It ended up morphing into a six-week program for couples who are engaged to be married and wanted to do premarital counseling so that they could really surface all of the various pillars of their relationship and make sure they're aligned or figure out how to handle misalignment.
Speaker: before getting married.
Speaker: But what we found from there, the kind of third wave of ours is what we're currently in.
Speaker: And what we found was that couples were coming to ours wanting to certainly come to us for premarital counseling, but also for other stages of life.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: other kind of challenges that they were going through on their relationship beyond just proactively investing before something comes up.
Speaker: And so now what we offer is high quality premium couples therapy.
Speaker: And so couples come to ours now for a,
Speaker: very wide range of use cases, including premarital counseling and all the other things that I mentioned earlier.
Speaker: And couples are matched with a couples therapist who is specifically trained in and experienced in working with couples in their practice and go through therapy with them and then are given resources and guided discussions to have before, between and after sessions.
Speaker: So at our core, our mission has always remained the same to support and encourage happy and healthy lives through stronger relationships.
Speaker: But the form factor has definitely evolved and I imagine it will continue to evolve as we learn more and as we serve more and more couples.
Speaker: Well, I definitely want to dive in to more about that, the shift.
Speaker: And I know that you've also been through some rebrand changes as well.
Speaker: But before I dive into that, just a pause to note, what a cool co-founder meeting story.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: I know that about the two of you.
Speaker: Tell us, like, where was it?
Speaker: Were you at a conference or where was it that you were able to have that conversation?
Speaker: And then also to see each other, not as a threat, but as a partner, like,
Speaker: How did that work?
Speaker: Oh, well, wait until you hear this.
Speaker: So we met in April of 2020, which as we all remember is the very beginning of the pandemic experience that we all went through.
Speaker: And so Adam lives in Houston, Texas, and I live in Brooklyn, New York.
Speaker: So we met on the phone and we
Speaker: We, our first phone call, so we met because he had talked to one of my friends and I had talked to one of his friends.
Speaker: A friend of a friend of a friend put us on an email and said, I think you should talk.
Speaker: You're both in the relationship space.
Speaker: And they, so we got on the phone and we, it was the first of literally thousands of walking phone calls that we've had over the four years of working together.
Speaker: and um it took us a year and a half to meet in person so that was the first phone call and we had so many i mean we had a few zoom calls here and there but really like we built our relationship on talking on the phone and really understanding each other and what brought us to want to be in the relationship space he uh
Speaker: He was interested in the relationship space because of his relationship with his wife and they wanted to find ways to invest in their relationship, which was the most important thing and still is, I think, to them.
Speaker: And so, yeah, we, we started like that and it honestly, it took probably less than three weeks for us to say we could be so much stronger and more successful and reach more couples if we team up.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: than if we kind of play in our own lanes.
Speaker: And we actually weren't looking for co-founders.
Speaker: So we were very, very intentional.
Speaker: We have always taken being a relationships company very seriously.
Speaker: And we were intentional about our relationship from day one.
Speaker: And we kind of
Speaker: asked each other all the hard questions up front.
Speaker: We did like a mini project together to test our working relationship.
Speaker: And then we dove right in and committed.
Speaker: And to this day, we still have, I think, you know, one of the things I'm most proud about at ours is my relationship with my co-founder.
Speaker: And we still to this day have a lot of ways of checking in with each other, both structurally and not, but just a lot of norms in our relationship to make sure that it's healthy and functioning.
Speaker: And I mean, as we all know, or as all of those of us in startups know, it's a really hard journey full of so many incredible ups and downs.
Speaker: And it was really important to both of us that our co-foundership was a source of strength and not stress.
Speaker: So yeah, that's how we met.
Speaker: And then the first time that we met in person, it was really funny because we had been on the phone so many times and on Zoom so many times.
Speaker: I had no idea how tall he and his wife are.
Speaker: But I learned about a year and a half later.
Speaker: Well, I feel like
Speaker: there's got to be some very special self-selection going on with the way you all approached it because you're both, you know, you know a lot about relationship building and trust building.
Speaker: And so the pathway through which you sussed each other out and identified that there was a strong partnership there.
Speaker: I mean, that's got to be, I hope that you'll write some sort of blog post about that because I imagine you have a lot of exercises that you did that could be helpful for others who are
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I know how to cultivate a co-foundership now, but finding one, it's kind of similar to dating in a way where I have found that a lot of people find their partner when they're not really looking.
Speaker: That's a great point.
Speaker: Yeah, and that's what happened with me and Adam too.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: It's hard.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Leave, leave some of it to serendipity.
Speaker: Yes, definitely.
Speaker: Um, all right, well, let's talk a little bit about the pivot into the model that you are working with right now, which is the match with a therapist, engage in couples therapy and have these sort of prompts in, in between sessions to prepare for them.
Speaker: I think that's, I didn't, I couldn't understand from like the latest iteration that I saw that you are still using the prompts and the exercises in between, which is, I'm excited to hear that because I think that is,
Speaker: really a great angle for y'all in just re-imagining something that is so desperately in need of being re-imagined, which is couples therapy.
Speaker: I mean, I think I shared with you the last time we saw each other last year that my husband and I were looking for something that would help us be self-guided, like have relationship check-ins, have meaningful questions to ask each other on date nights rather than just like
Speaker: talking about how exhausted we are and like the kids and stuff.
Speaker: And so we, we searched for something.
Speaker: This was in the past a few years ago, couldn't find it.
Speaker: And so ended up going to a marriage counselor.
Speaker: And it was like,
Speaker: 1985.
Speaker: Like it was the same approach that I imagine has been pursued for years and years and years, which is fine and great and helpful and healthy, but it just felt like something that was really stale and needed to be brought into the modern day.
Speaker: So tell me a little bit about how you have conceptualized like the future of
Speaker: of couples therapy and how engaging with your product would be so different from something that's kind of the standard.
Speaker: Yeah, well, it really hasn't changed in a very long time.
Speaker: And in some ways, that's a good thing because couples therapy does work.
Speaker: When couples have a good match with their therapist and a good system and structure that works for them, it works.
Speaker: And couples therapy transforms lives and can transform not only your relationship, but also relationships.
Speaker: the two individuals that are in that relationship forever.
Speaker: Um, and so it's something that we didn't want to, you know, we didn't want to totally overhaul because there are so many elements of couples therapy that do work, uh, for couples.
Speaker: But the places where we are innovating and trying to innovate is really around those live sessions.
Speaker: So we wanted to do three things.
Speaker: And then I'll also talk about ultimately where we want to bring ours into the future.
Speaker: The first thing is we are aiming to make it much easier to get into couples therapy.
Speaker: And easier means certainly the logistics and the scheduling and the payment, like
Speaker: You don't have to write checks.
Speaker: You don't have to bring cash.
Speaker: You don't have to go back and forth on voicemails to figure out what time you can meet with your therapist.
Speaker: We make that part really, really easy and just exactly what you would expect from a digital platform.
Speaker: But we also guide you through that process.
Speaker: So through support and through content, we help you talk with your partner.
Speaker: For many couples, it's very difficult to bring up.
Speaker: Sometimes one partner wants to bring up going to couples therapy, and that's a really scary conversation.
Speaker: And so we provide a conversation card decks that help have conversations like that before you even start and sign up for schedule or get matched with your couples therapist.
Speaker: So the first thing is really supporting a...
Speaker: a belief that every couple can benefit from couples therapy and providing you couples with tools to make that transition into dipping your toe into the water of couples therapy much easier.
Speaker: The second thing is we are helping equip all of our therapists with resources to provide to couples, including conversation card decks that are relevant to what they're going through, resources and activities for couples to do outside of their live sessions.
Speaker: And then we
Speaker: provide that connectivity between what a couple does in between live sessions on their own with what happens in the room.
Speaker: So we help couples, you know, bookmark various conversation topics or conflicts that come up in between sessions that they want to revisit and bring back into their therapist and kind of help accelerate their therapist's understanding of their relationship before even setting foot into the room.
Speaker: And then the third thing is right now, if you're not, if you're working with a couples therapist outside of ours, it can be difficult to keep that door open.
Speaker: So when a couple of graduates from therapy or quote unquote graduates from therapy and it's kind of like, okay, we've resolved what we wanted to, or we've gained clarity in what we've wanted to, or accomplished our goal for the time being, it's,
Speaker: We see that a lot of couples want to continue to check in in what we call maintenance mode, where it's not necessarily weekly live sessions with your therapist in such a frequent capacity.
Speaker: However, just like we can all benefit from physical annual checkups, and hopefully we're all doing those, we can benefit from some regular frequency of touch points and check-ins or tune-ups,
Speaker: with our therapist as well.
Speaker: So we enable maintenance mode and kind of allow therapists and couples to continue their relationship, even when they're not in that kind of like intense figure it out mode.
Speaker: And ultimately though, we see just like,
Speaker: When I said that relationships are the number one predictor of how we age, we really see that as our responsibility to bring relationship care and relationship health at the forefront of how we take care of our overall lives.
Speaker: So our vision for ours is that ours is the primary care for your relationships.
Speaker: So you not only when you come to ours, and this is in the future, but our dream is not only when you come to ours, are you matched with a couple's therapist, but you actually get an entire care team that knows your relationship inside and out and pairs you with experts who are the right fit for you at that time.
Speaker: So if you're preparing to have a baby, then you might work with a coach potentially who works with couples exclusively preparing to have a baby.
Speaker: And then when someone...
Speaker: it becomes sick in the family and now roles and responsibilities are changing at home and that's causing some friction or conflict.
Speaker: Maybe you're working with a therapist who specializes in that arena and all throughout the way you were getting a pulse and similar to how we do blood tests for our physical bodies, you're getting a pulse on your relationship by doing pulse checks and kind of examining where your relationship has been and where it's going and how healthy you both feel.
Speaker: in your relationship so you know where to focus on and invest in without having to really, you know, with it still being fun and engaging.
Speaker: And at the end of the day, we think relationships are meant to be enjoyed.
Speaker: And so that enjoyment aspect is really important too.
Speaker: But ultimately, we want to build something that couples can interact with forever from the very first moment of deciding this is a relationship I want to invest in seriously through old age and hopefully, you know, all of the ups and downs along the way.
Speaker: Yeah, it really helps to have that such a long range picture of how you see the business being a part of families' lives, you know, for decades and decades.
Speaker: How does your recent rebrand play into that?
Speaker: Tell us about...
Speaker: what informed your pretty different take on just like look and feel of your brand.
Speaker: I mean, I think originally when I first kind of met the brand, it was funky, colorful, young.
Speaker: Now I would describe it as more modern, calming, even mature.
Speaker: Tell us a little bit about that process and how you decided to do it in the first place and like what ultimately you wanted that look and feel to be.
Speaker: I have to give 100% of the credit to Cleo.
Speaker: She is our head of design and she is just this absolutely creative and just inspirational designer who knows how to translate emotions into a look and feel.
Speaker: So she's the one who kind of came up with the concepts initially.
Speaker: She's the one who actually proposed.
Speaker: She and Adam both were like, you know, as we transition into this more mature and serving a wider range of relationships,
Speaker: in terms of the emotional range that our couples are going through.
Speaker: We need a brand to match that and to hold the space for the sadness and the grief and the heartbreak and of course the happiness and the joy and the love that all of our couples experience in such a wider range than V1 of ours is what we call it, where V1 was really focused on
Speaker: what a lot of us call the happiest moment of our lives in terms of getting ready to be married.
Speaker: So Cleo kind of took the essence of what we wanted ours to stand for.
Speaker: And she went through, she actually wrote a really great blog post that is on our site that kind of details what her process was and all the explorers that she did.
Speaker: So I would definitely check that out.
Speaker: And we're trying to build more and more kind of like in public and share our philosophies of,
Speaker: the hearts and brains that go on behind building ours.
Speaker: But yeah, she, she set out to build something or to design something that felt exactly how you described it.
Speaker: So she, she just did a phenomenal job with it.
Speaker: But something that it feels more mature, certainly still modern, but less of, you know, dialing down the playfulness and the color and the youthfulness.
Speaker: I don't mean that.
Speaker: Lightheartedness.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Lightheartedness.
Speaker: And I don't mean that in like age, but more in like,
Speaker: Yeah, the lightheartedness and in now introducing this kind of really lovely, like safe, welcoming, warm, but still aspirational and loving and feelings fueled brand.
Speaker: So she would probably describe this in a much more articulate way than I did.
Speaker: But I just I think visually it achieved exactly what we wanted to and more.
Speaker: Yeah, I think, you know, to speak at it from my perspective, it's kind of like the previous iteration was, oh, relationships are about rolling with the punches or like, you know, kind of put up a playful vibe.
Speaker: But now there's just sort of a respect and a gravitas for all of the levels, like you said, that a relationship covers.
Speaker: So tell her a job well done.
Speaker: Any advice for people who are looking for
Speaker: somebody who is a brand genius like that?
Speaker: How did you find this person?
Speaker: Oh man, we got so lucky with finding Cleo and meeting her and getting to know her.
Speaker: My advice is, I think, finding someone who naturally gravitates towards exactly what you gravitate towards or what you want to build.
Speaker: In our experience, it's very difficult if you're trying to go for a
Speaker: a visual and you have something in your head, even if not visual, like even if you can't visualize it directly,
Speaker: if you're looking for something and then you find a great talented designer who has a different style, even if like 10% different from what you're looking for, it's really hard to, to align together and marry your two different visions.
Speaker: And Cleo just has this innate, like,
Speaker: where she is headed design and visual wise is exactly where we want it to be headed.
Speaker: And so that shared values and alignment of just like,
Speaker: literally what it looks like and what we stand for is what I think made this magic come to life.
Speaker: And I think like more tactically, like outside of that alignment, there are incredible design communities and designers know other designers.
Speaker: So I would kind of start with,
Speaker: any designer who you respect or who you love the work of, even if it doesn't look like what you want for your brand or for your company, and kind of just get to know them and get to know how to articulate what you're looking for and meet more and more designers through those communities until you find someone who jives with what you're looking for.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So to move from
Speaker: your thoughts on brand to your thoughts on growth.
Speaker: Tell us a little bit about how you went from
Speaker: you know, your very first customer to your first several dozen customers.
Speaker: Tell us and what successes have you found along the way when it comes to growing a startup?
Speaker: We have learned so much from the very early days.
Speaker: Adam is my co-founder.
Speaker: He leads everything related to growth and brand and anything before couples purchase ours.
Speaker: So he's the expert in the space.
Speaker: What we have learned.
Speaker: So we initially grew our first couples.
Speaker: We grew by just really tapping into our networks and sharing our mission and what we were aiming to do with our networks.
Speaker: So we advertised to clubs that were at our business schools and our undergrads.
Speaker: And our LinkedIn and emailed literally all of our friends, even if they weren't in relationships, and asked them to share this with a couple who we thought, who they thought would appreciate this.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that is honestly still a big way of how we grow now and how we bring in couples from all across the country and actually all across the world in that kind of like, you know, share this with a couple who could value this.
Speaker: And our LinkedIn's tend to be.
Speaker: pretty good too because now like our I think our connections know that we're in the relationship space and so we're trying to build a brand where people um see us as the go-to for modern relationship support um so that's one way uh others that have worked for us are uh
Speaker: Google ads.
Speaker: So being where couples are already searching and making sure that when a couple is looking for couples therapy, that we are a good fit for them or that we're explaining if we're a good fit for them or not.
Speaker: Secondly, we have, we've been in,
Speaker: The New York Times and in various kind of editorial pieces and talking about the ARS mission is quite fun and easy to do.
Speaker: And so finding placements that have a large audience that want to talk about relationships is something that has worked for us as well.
Speaker: And then lastly is kind of word of mouth and referrals.
Speaker: And so couples who have a good experience with ours will tell other couples that are often in the same life stage.
Speaker: And same thing for therapists too, because at the core and heart of therapy,
Speaker: our entire ours experience is our therapists who are on the platform.
Speaker: So we actually think of growth in, you know, the two sides of couples as well as therapists and therapists spread the word just as much and play a really big role in that side as well.
Speaker: Let me ask a little bit about, you know, as you expand your thoughts on affordability, you know, I think
Speaker: And in my line of work as well, we deal with this.
Speaker: I believe everybody should have a doula.
Speaker: And yet cost-wise, it's prohibitive, even though all of the determinants, all of the data would say, this is a huge boost to your health.
Speaker: This is something that everybody should have.
Speaker: It's the same for couples therapy, right?
Speaker: And yet...
Speaker: Increasingly in the doula field, it is being covered by insurance, piecemeal here and there.
Speaker: But I'm pretty sure that's probably not the case for a product like the one that you've built.
Speaker: Tell me a little bit about how you think about access, who can pay for this, how people can pay for this, and y'all's approach to accessibility and affordability.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: is so it's such a good question.
Speaker: Our whole team has been since day one, accessibility and making relationship health more accessible has been one of our guiding principles of what we aim to do.
Speaker: And yet our price point right now is pretty high.
Speaker: It's at the $200 per session.
Speaker: And that is, it is less expensive than the average therapy session in a place like New York or San Francisco.
Speaker: But across the nation, it is definitely on the higher side for sure.
Speaker: At the core of this, there are two pieces of how we decided to price the way that we did.
Speaker: Number one is our therapists.
Speaker: I imagine it's similar for doulas and a lot of therapists.
Speaker: pretty much every health oriented service that relies on human beings times and not only human beings, but trained human beings time.
Speaker: We are extremely committed to paying therapists a rate that honors their expertise, the important role they play with their couples lives and the
Speaker: training and care that goes into making them as special and effective as they are.
Speaker: And there's, I mean, there's so much out there on how therapists are not paid nearly enough.
Speaker: And even, and they're just doing such important work.
Speaker: So
Speaker: One, we're committed to that.
Speaker: We believe that in order to provide couples therapy that is effective, we have to pay therapists not only enough, but well.
Speaker: And that's a huge piece of just one of the components that goes into accessibility.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The second thing is we decided pretty early on that we will be at this premium price points for a while because we thought that by going and building a cash pay business, this allows us to really hone in on what the customer journey needs to be in order to truly be life changing and transformational for couples.
Speaker: So we thought that by having this price point, we're able to not only work with therapists who can help change couples lives, but also build product and content and resources that help change couples lives as well.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: And so ultimately, we see this as just the first step of making relationship health more accessible.
Speaker: And as we build more and more content and product and technology to help couples go through relationship health activities and exercises on their own, we, of course, aim to ultimately bring down the cost that it is.
Speaker: that it takes to go to a relationship health provider to the couple, but we're, we're a long way away from that.
Speaker: And the last thing I'll say is,
Speaker: Insurance is spotty with couples coverage.
Speaker: And I mean, they're spotty with individual mental health to begin with, and then layer on couples, it's less covered and reimbursed at much lower rates.
Speaker: We do think though, there is this clear direct tie between couples health and relationship health with physical health.
Speaker: And so we would advise in terms
Speaker: insurance companies to actively consider reimbursing at higher rates for couples therapy because it overall will reduce and alleviate the physical health symptoms as well.
Speaker: But that's a long way off.
Speaker: But we are hopeful that more and more insurance companies and employer benefits could cover couples therapy and of course, you know, be a part of reducing that cost to the end user and making it accessible in some way to all couples.
Speaker: Yeah, it does.
Speaker: It affects health physically.
Speaker: It affects work performance as well.
Speaker: I mean, I am looking forward to the day that people who make those decisions of what is paid for or what's reimbursed expand their thinking in terms of the sort of things that should be given to employees and families out there.
Speaker: Let me ask a little bit about...
Speaker: You know, you're you probably see a lot of different types of couples, couples without children, couples who have young ones and are in that crazy phase, you know, couples who even have older children and potentially even leaving the nest.
Speaker: I heard something really interesting from a founder the other day who said everybody thinks that tension in a marriage comes from number one thing is finances.
Speaker: But the data that she had reviewed said the number one thing is balance of responsibilities.
Speaker: And I thought that holds true in my household.
Speaker: That's definitely what our number one thing to argue about is.
Speaker: So what do you have to share with parents out there who are feeling just such a different kind of relationship
Speaker: Now that they've welcomed kids into their household and life is so different.
Speaker: What thoughts do you have about building and continuing to forge a strong relationship?
Speaker: So I actually asked my co-founder and his wife for their best relationship advice for parents.
Speaker: So I will share this from Adam and his wife.
Speaker: They shared four things.
Speaker: Number one, never argue or debate something after midnight.
Speaker: Number two, you don't have to perfectly divide things.
Speaker: And so they use the example of changing a diaper.
Speaker: On one hand, you could divide, you know, this diaper is yours and then the next diaper is mine.
Speaker: They said it's okay to be duplicative and sometimes being duplicative, both changing the diaper at the same time could be better, more fun, more partnership.
Speaker: more possible than efficient.
Speaker: So they would say duplicative can be better than being efficient and to remember that.
Speaker: The third is make more time to spend time together or make intentional time to spend more time together and plan that as part of your weekly kind of touch bases and make sure that you're spending time together.
Speaker: And then the last one was, it's okay to not like each other 24 seven, 100% of the time.
Speaker: And I would interpret that as it's okay to have ups and downs and to not, not be happy all the time.
Speaker: And that's a totally normal part of, of course, being in a relationship, but especially being in a relationship as a parent, and especially as a new parent.
Speaker: I love those bits of advice.
Speaker: I'll tell him.
Speaker: Please tell him to write a blog post about it.
Speaker: I will.
Speaker: It's really valuable.
Speaker: And it kind of gave me an aha with point number two or with a point about, you know, maybe changing the diaper together.
Speaker: I, I,
Speaker: I think that for a lot of people I meet, going from one child to two is actually harder than going from zero to one.
Speaker: And I never really thought deeply about why.
Speaker: And maybe a big part of the why is that for the sake of efficiency, we start dividing tasks so much more and then it all becomes about who did what and is it even.
Speaker: Whereas my memory of my firstborn is like, we were both giving the bath.
Speaker: We were both reading the stories.
Speaker: And somehow that was so much more enjoyable.
Speaker: So yeah, I had never thought about that before, but I think that's an aha for me.
Speaker: Well, we need to close, but let me ask, maybe you can take us out by sharing
Speaker: What are you looking for right now?
Speaker: What are you facing that maybe listeners could help you with or collaborate with on you?
Speaker: How can the listeners of this podcast partner with you and kind of uplift the work that you are doing?
Speaker: Well, a couple of different ways.
Speaker: One is spread the word about ours.
Speaker: If you know a couple who would benefit from going to couples therapy, and we firmly believe every couple can, please share ours with them.
Speaker: We have...
Speaker: free resources so they don't have to sign up for therapy in order to benefit from ours.
Speaker: So spread the word.
Speaker: Number two, if you have any kind of areas of expertise that you think would be helpful for couples therapists to be trained in specifically, then reach out to us because we're always, we offer a lot of trainings to therapists so that they can better serve
Speaker: very specific use cases for couples.
Speaker: And so if you have a skill set or experience or training that couples therapists would benefit from learning or interested in learning, then we'd love to bring you into the RS platform and train therapists so that ultimately we can better serve couples in really specific ways.
Speaker: That's wonderful.
Speaker: I hope we can help you with both of those.
Speaker: Certainly the second one, you know, I'm thinking of all of the doulas out there and parent coaches and parent supporters.
Speaker: And is the best way just to email you?
Speaker: What's the best way to reach out?
Speaker: Yeah, reach out at hi at withhours.com.
Speaker: hiwithours.com.
Speaker: And then the website itself is www.withours.com.
Speaker: I'll be sure to link to all of these things in the show notes, but thank you so much for sharing your thoughts today.
Speaker: I absolutely love what you're building and think it can be so valuable for
Speaker: families who are either thinking about children or already, you know, having that chaos of children in the household.
Speaker: Congrats on what you're building.
Speaker: And thank you so much for being with us today.
Speaker: Thank you so much, Carly.
Speaker: This was so fun.
Speaker: This is awesome to be on here.
Speaker: And it's just really an awesome way to witness what you're building and the community that you've built.
Speaker: And thank you for joining us on Parent Tech Allies, brought to you by Nestle.
Speaker: Take the parenting quiz at nestle.com and get matched with the expert company, nonprofit, or resource that you could use most right now in your parenting journey.
Speaker: It's free.
Speaker: So give it a try at nestle.com.
Speaker: And thank you so much for listening.
