Transcript
Speaker: so so so anyway he loses all those guns uh because he does get captured yeah he gets by the he is suggested to let himself get captured by the terror he gets captured on yeah oh man i don't want this to happen yeah the book does that multiple times too where it's like oh there's this thing where he's like i don't know that sounds like nonsense and then it happens immediately after which i get it you know exactly oh geez well i guess we'll know if i'm paranoid or not um
Speaker: And then he remembers the word of his squad mate from half a page ago going, say, I could get captured on purpose.
Speaker: On purpose, you say.
Speaker: That's a good idea.
Speaker: That was my idea.
Speaker: I came up with this.
Speaker: Yeah, I should be captured on purpose.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: And it becomes the old lady who swallow a who swallowed a fly again.
Speaker: The guard stripped Haley of his bandolier of grenades, the gas mask, the Beretta, the Mac to the anti-tank man, the ammo, the grenade launcher, the binoculars, the rations.
Speaker: I don't know why she swallowed the fly.
Speaker: So he talks to Gray Fox, like it's Gray Fox, the leader.
Speaker: You know, yeah, the guy.
Speaker: The guy, he's Gray Fox.
Speaker: He's the leader of the snake men and fox sounds and snake men, snake men fan, fox sounds.
Speaker: And fox grays and gray snakes.
Speaker: And so he gives them the low down and be like, BT dubs, you can't find Metal Gear without a map.
Speaker: Uh, number one.
Speaker: And number two, uh, uh, uh, the doctor could be anywhere and the daughter was only kidnapped to make the doctor talk.
Speaker: And like, I think we could have figured that out from the, when they told us that, you know, several pages ago.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: Yeah, so we're left on a cliffhanger.
Speaker: How is Hayley going to get out of here?
Speaker: And in the next chapter, he gets out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Everything moves so fast.
Speaker: I love, by the way, the chapter ends with, like,
Speaker: He says, you know, we're going to get out.
Speaker: I'll try.
Speaker: But with what?
Speaker: His bare hands?
Speaker: It's like, well, that is actually how we started.
Speaker: So, yeah, I mean, you started the game with your bare hands.
Speaker: You made a really big point to say what a dangerous guy this dude is.
Speaker: completely unarmed.
Speaker: I feel he can fight off dogs by rubbing his ass up on a tree and getting on all fours.
Speaker: But the idea of him doing this with his bare hands, they're like, I don't know.
Speaker: It's too much.
Speaker: It's too much.
Speaker: It's like a lot.
Speaker: Does Gray Fox say that he has an hour here to do it?
Speaker: How does he know his exact less than an hour away?
Speaker: How do you fucking know that?
Speaker: He's been tied up this entire time.
Speaker: And he's like, oh, it might be an hour.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure, though.
Speaker: Less than an hour away.
Speaker: And I think knowing me at that point, I'd be like, oh,
Speaker: Well, we don't have time.
Speaker: We got like three key cards.
Speaker: Fuck it.
Speaker: Like I'm like, I gotta get a five key cards in the middle.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm just going to chill here.
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: I do love that.
Speaker: He says, he says, where'll I find the map and Craig Fox says, I don't know.
Speaker: I only know there is one.
Speaker: I just, they were talking about him.
Speaker: It's somewhere.
Speaker: It's somewhere.
Speaker: So in this, then he finds a spot in the wall where the, so he lights a match and he finds there's a gap in the wall and he opens up the wall and he gets Gray Fox out and then he's like, I'm going to leave you here.
Speaker: Gray Fox is like, cool, bro.
Speaker: And I'm sure that's fine.
Speaker: I'm sure that's fine.
Speaker: You're underselling this dude.
Speaker: Did he not punch a hole in the wall here?
Speaker: He, he, uh, what's the, oh, he, he dropped down and aimed a karate punch with his wrapped fist straight at the center of the crack in the mason, masonry, in the very heart of its weakest spot.
Speaker: Instantly, the bricks and mortar gave way and a hole open in the saw wall.
Speaker: Scratching with his bare hands, Haley enlarged the hole.
Speaker: He had to work...
Speaker: I think we've all been there, am I right?
Speaker: Hey, oh, hey.
Speaker: He had to work fast.
Speaker: The terrorists would be back any moment now.
Speaker: And yes, so I did undersell it.
Speaker: He karate punches, and he does all the work of Andy Dufresne in a matter of... In like five seconds.
Speaker: In like five seconds.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: i wonder why they left out their traditional battle cry of karate uh when he when he fired off that karate punch yeah why is that in there you're right good point why is there no no like a missed opportunity like dear god i don't know where andy dufresne went that night solid snakes just like swimming through i gotta get swimming i gotta get to katafi just justin haley swam through a mile of
Speaker: Oh my god.
Speaker: I would like to say Justin Haley fought off the sisters that night.
Speaker: Chapter 10, the shotgunner, who is one of the bosses in the game.
Speaker: Oh, OK.
Speaker: Yeah, he's he's an actual boss.
Speaker: Basically, I watched how you handle it.
Speaker: You just like you have to run through the room that he's in to the to the other side, get into a closet, grab your guns, come back out and fight him.
Speaker: So it's like, yeah, it's you know, it's it's not a direct way of confronting it.
Speaker: Kind of like it's it's kind of like the Metal Gear pastiche of like, oh, you got to do it's not just you go in and shoot the guy.
Speaker: You got to fucking figure some things out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: So the shotgunner, which is.
Speaker: He's a guy and he likes his shotguns clearly.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Justin doesn't notice that Justin does not shoot anyone in this entire book as many guns as he's got every time he gets a gun back he hits somebody with it
Speaker: right yeah which which i don't think of my favorite way to play hotline miami is to just throw guns at people i mean yeah yeah really this is the inspiration they read this book yeah this is where it all began
Speaker: Yeah, they and I love, by the way, this is another example of what I was talking about before, where he's got these random ass skills that why would he be trained in this?
Speaker: But he can't speak Spanish.
Speaker: And in order to in order to distract the shotgun or using the oldest trick in the book, the ventriloquist skill of throwing his voice in another direction.
Speaker: So he makes he throws his voice.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: to distract him because because, by the way, the reason he's doing this is he sees this whole room full of guns.
Speaker: But he knows if I go get those guns, load up those guns, it's too loud.
Speaker: So I got to find something else out.
Speaker: And he notices his pile, his little arsenal of weapons at the shotgunners feet and says, I know what I'll do instead of quietly loading new guns.
Speaker: I'll throw my voice across the room, distract him for a split second, do a ninja roll by him and grab one of my weapons from the pile that is inexplicably at his feet.
Speaker: I'm a very good spy.
Speaker: Why does he know how to throw his voice?
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: That is not.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know why you would do this.
Speaker: I can't figure it out.
Speaker: Like, nothing he has done here is stuff that he, like, is that the snake men training?
Speaker: It's like, we don't do any of that bullshit that other Marines do.
Speaker: Break out your entriloquism dummies, boys.
Speaker: You gotta learn how to find a hole in the wall.
Speaker: There's a reason 15 of them got captured.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No discernible skills.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Nothing useful.
Speaker: It's just imagine rolling up this character like you.
Speaker: I want to play D&D.
Speaker: I want to play like a really bad ass spy assassin style character.
Speaker: I'm going to base him on everything I learned from the Metal Gear book.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: First off, we got to put some points into ventriloquism.
Speaker: Second animal handling with a specialty in pretending to be a Puma.
Speaker: This will work out just in Ali's a bar.
Speaker: He has to be right.
Speaker: He's just like,
Speaker: is a bard pretending to be a soldier from the college of useless like i don't
Speaker: completely useless.
Speaker: And by the way, it doesn't work.
Speaker: He rolls.
Speaker: No, you're right.
Speaker: And the shotgun.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Heard him and growled in his throat, a deep animal sound and enraged threat.
Speaker: It almost sounds a little sexy going on here.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I'm surprised because he does say it's a deep animal sound.
Speaker: So I'm surprised he didn't get on all the yelling like a cat at him.
Speaker: Can you smell me shotgunner?
Speaker: The shotgunner can smell my ass.
Speaker: I'll make him smell my ass.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: We're chapter 11.
Speaker: It's heat panel time.
Speaker: It's heat panel time.
Speaker: And the Solid Snake decides to binge.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: He's had a long day.
Speaker: He's depressed.
Speaker: He's tired of rolling around.
Speaker: It's time to down some MREs.
Speaker: Just get him in them.
Speaker: We start right off the bat, by the way, with the author saying he'd never find Metal Gear dragging all this heavy equipment around with him.
Speaker: Frost is pissed at this point.
Speaker: He's running.
Speaker: This is fucking stupid.
Speaker: Like this new soldier would ever do this.
Speaker: He's furious.
Speaker: This is his passive aggressive way of getting back at Kojima.
Speaker: Like this is what he's doing.
Speaker: He's never been the same.
Speaker: And one of my favorite lines in this chapter is he was in a place he had never been before.
Speaker: And I was like, you mean like all the other places?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: in the building that you have, I guess.
Speaker: You mean like this?
Speaker: He doesn't even know what country he's in.
Speaker: He doesn't know what language they're speaking.
Speaker: Of course he's in a place he's never been before.
Speaker: He was in Phoenix.
Speaker: He could just tell.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: He was, he's on the outskirts of Albuquerque.
Speaker: I mean, yeah, good point.
Speaker: It is so sandy.
Speaker: I could see it.
Speaker: Sandy, jungly.
Speaker: It's sandy.
Speaker: Everyone's violent.
Speaker: It sounds about right.
Speaker: definitely make it meth here like for sure yeah there's a lot of meth happening and it's no coincidence here that this is where solid snake suddenly is bursting with energy for no apparent reason on the way down so he binges a bunch of mres um and is able what key card are we at this point he's just about to find four
Speaker: Four.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He just found four.
Speaker: Sitting in the glove compartment.
Speaker: Yeah, sure.
Speaker: This is important key card we need to hide just in case this alley guy gets in here.
Speaker: Leave it in the glove compartment.
Speaker: Fuck it.
Speaker: Don't lock it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He'll never lock.
Speaker: As Death Cab for Cutie says, you know, the glove compartment carries, you know, the carries documents and key cards.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's inaccurately named.
Speaker: um yeah death cap for cutie reference in 2022 that's where we're at that was a good one that was that was from the vault that was good that was a deep pull um so he uh he eats every field ration he has and he just homer simpsons it he just he just
Speaker: And what it is is he gets, you know, when you eat a lot of food, it's like right after Thanksgiving and you start like the meat and the food sweats.
Speaker: Yeah, the meat sweats.
Speaker: He's got the meat sweats.
Speaker: He's basically meat sweats.
Speaker: You got the itis.
Speaker: You're just sitting there.
Speaker: He just meat sweats himself.
Speaker: Thank God.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I was like, I was hoping that all, I was like, that's what this is, right?
Speaker: He got the meat sweats.
Speaker: Yeah, totally.
Speaker: This is the only time in the history of action anything where the meat sweats were needed.
Speaker: It's all the chicken.
Speaker: I can get's knocking them out, man.
Speaker: By the way.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Don't think it was lost on me.
Speaker: This was such a missed opportunity.
Speaker: It's just like the author just says, you know, he's eating all these rations, densely compressed rations with no liquid wash him down.
Speaker: And as much as he could find his pockets.
Speaker: And this is this is a kid's book.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: Why didn't you like describe all the weird and gross foods he was?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: you would be the author of the year to a generation of fifth graders.
Speaker: Like they would let their asses off.
Speaker: Like it was just, it was moldy macaroni and cheese and 17 slices of vegetarian pizza.
Speaker: Not even the good vegetarian pizza.
Speaker: Just,
Speaker: They didn't season the tomatoes.
Speaker: It's all just raw slices.
Speaker: I like that right before he starts scarfing them down too.
Speaker: He's like thinking back to his good friend, Chuck, reminding him of what's going on.
Speaker: I just imagine a floating head next to him as he's like sucking down these disgusting MREs like eat them, eat them.
Speaker: Justin, you need to be warm.
Speaker: This is for you, Chuck.
Speaker: So it's like Justin is just like walking across the panels now.
Speaker: He's sweating.
Speaker: His like stealth suit is kind of like bulging a little bit now because he just has the consistency of a rock sitting in his stomach.
Speaker: And it was too much in the bottom.
Speaker: Oh God, it's just sitting there.
Speaker: He's sweating and stumbling across and the panels are like, the panels are hot.
Speaker: They're too hot for my feet.
Speaker: Oh, I got the meat sweats.
Speaker: I just like to imagine you see his feet moving across the panels and just drops of sweat.
Speaker: They just evaporate immediately.
Speaker: Turn into steam as he's walking across.
Speaker: At least he sweats it all off, though.
Speaker: So it's OK that he downs 8,000 calories in one second.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: And then he doesn't understand.
Speaker: He gets across and he's like, I don't know why that worked.
Speaker: Yeah, that's again.
Speaker: Once again, well, that was fucking stupid.
Speaker: Like he mentions that in the middle.
Speaker: It's so hot.
Speaker: It'll like burn the flesh off your body.
Speaker: But because he ate a bunch of shitty food, he's good to go.
Speaker: I love that the author's even like, that makes no fucking sense.
Speaker: I mean, this is good advice for anyone who's visiting Mexico City in August.
Speaker: This is just how you would.
Speaker: eat as much as you can get across the street and then blow it out your asshole and port John nearest you.
Speaker: Phil, this sounds oddly specific.
Speaker: This is just my life.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I've never felt closer to a sweet friend.
Speaker: This is this is I mean, I'm a well traveled man, but not in any way that requires dignity or poise.
Speaker: I visit other countries just to eat all their food and then shoot it out.
Speaker: I do it in front of the local populace.
Speaker: This is what you did to me.
Speaker: Maintain eye contact to the field field.
Speaker: There's a little abuela sitting across the street.
Speaker: You're like, this is what your Tomatio's did to me, you bitch.
Speaker: And she just looks at me and runs her thumb across her neck.
Speaker: Oh, hey, we got a game.
Speaker: I miss you, Margarita.
Speaker: We got a game hint here.
Speaker: You need the rocket launcher to defeat Arnold.
Speaker: Does this ever come up?
Speaker: Who the fuck is Arnold?
Speaker: They're just talking about in real life.
Speaker: Probably.
Speaker: I look at the guy, yeah.
Speaker: You got Michael Bane on the cover.
Speaker: Michael Bane is the cover model for this.
Speaker: And they just took him from the poster of... Oh my god, it totally is.
Speaker: Holy shit.
Speaker: What movie is it from?
Speaker: I want to say, is it Terminator or...
Speaker: It looks like aliens aliens.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Anyway, they just they just stole Michael Bane and put him on the cover for the for the original game.
Speaker: One of the one of his movies.
Speaker: So it stands to reason that it's Arnold Schwarzenegger that they're talking about.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Oh, no, it is Terminator.
Speaker: It's Terminator.
Speaker: OK.
Speaker: Yeah, that's totally Terminator.
Speaker: Chapter 12.
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: Why is that man?
Speaker: I'm sorry.
Speaker: Real quick.
Speaker: Why is that man not in more movies?
Speaker: Michael Bayne?
Speaker: That man is so fucking good.
Speaker: I mean, he deserved to be a way bigger star than he was.
Speaker: Yeah, he was big in the 80s and then not so much.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just after that, there's no reason he shouldn't have like that level of a career to this day.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: Johnny Ringo.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: I'm just going to his Wikipedia page and looking for controversy.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, please.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And if you see anything, let's go ahead and edit this out.
Speaker: Let's let's be proactive.
Speaker: I love Michael Bane.
Speaker: Turns out he actually had a dog fighting ring.
Speaker: Good friends with Michael Vick.
Speaker: Every time he's from Florida.
Speaker: Definitely that section of the alligator.
Speaker: That one's going on the list.
Speaker: Someone has a signed NES cartridge of Metal Gear from Michael Bane.
Speaker: Oh, that's great.
Speaker: That would be awesome.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That is a brilliant little piece of memory.
Speaker: That is an Easter egg and an Easter egg right there.
Speaker: So, um, so the next chapter, which is called the moving bridge, uh, the moving bridge is literally one screen.
Speaker: Like you're, you just, you just go down.
Speaker: I watched the let's play and it's like just a platform that is moving back and forth slightly and you just go whoop and you're onto the next thing yet.
Speaker: Somehow it got its own subtitle in, uh, in chapter 12.
Speaker: And, um,
Speaker: It should have just been called chapter 12.
Speaker: Fuck it, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Fuck it, comma, you know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's a way better title.
Speaker: So he gets across the bridge inch by inch, left foot, right foot, and yeah, he gets across safely.
Speaker: Bridge solved.
Speaker: Now, do you remember this part in particular, Kevin, like the drop, the jump he has to do here?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Not at all, because it's not clear how high up he is.
Speaker: It's a rooftop bridge and he has to jump like he thinks if he says he's if he if he steps, he's stepping out like he's going to fall if he's going.
Speaker: So he needs to jump to have some level of control.
Speaker: He says it was better to jump than to fall, which.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Fair enough.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: It was a long way down, but Haley had made over 200 parachute jumps.
Speaker: There must be a way to minimize the risk.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Like, yeah, they're called parachutes.
Speaker: How does that help you land here?
Speaker: I was so confused by that.
Speaker: It's even worse because he's got all that shit.
Speaker: Don't get me wrong.
Speaker: Don't get me wrong.
Speaker: My dad was a paratrooper.
Speaker: There is a way you fall when, but it's after you've been floating through the air.
Speaker: It's not meant to help you survive a three story.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's like, there's gotta be a way to do it.
Speaker: It's like, yeah, don't do it.
Speaker: That's so he does it.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: How does he do, Kevin?
Speaker: Does he, does he, any broken bones?
Speaker: Is he winded?
Speaker: No, he's fine.
Speaker: He's fine.
Speaker: The weapons are fine.
Speaker: He's fine.
Speaker: We're all fine here.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: How are you?
Speaker: How are you?
Speaker: I think this is the point where the book starts to fall apart.
Speaker: It's right after this.
Speaker: This is where it happens.
Speaker: It was not page one.
Speaker: I was buying it from up until this point, and now I've lost all suspension of disbelief.
Speaker: Yeah, we get some I I I don't I feel like I was I started getting a little confused as to what the fuck was happening because we start getting radio transmissions.
Speaker: He starts talking about I still trust Commander South.
Speaker: Blah, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: And I'm like, I feel like I need to reread parts of this in order to understand it.
Speaker: But then I would realize I'm rereading Worlds of Power Metal Gear.
Speaker: And I will not get that time back.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Statistically and biologically speaking, we are none of us getting any younger.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Chapter 13, he swims.
Speaker: This is the one.
Speaker: This is where he's got the panther feet.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: The feet as quiet as a panther's solid snake sneaked up behind an unsuspecting tank guard.
Speaker: Rabbit punched him.
Speaker: So he's a panther feet and rabbit punches.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: This guy loves animals.
Speaker: I think he's he's big.
Speaker: He loves animals.
Speaker: He's the snake of the foxhound thing.
Speaker: Crouching snake.
Speaker: Hidden furry.
Speaker: Um, I think that's and here's the thing is he he rubbed himself on that panther musk in chapter three or whatever.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Um, why can't anybody smell him?
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Why is he how is he able to stealth around smelling like panther ass literally around outer heaven?
Speaker: Even if he's never captured because of it, I wish the author would have at least put in like two guards and he and right before he rabbit punches them, they're like, you smell Panther.
Speaker: It smells like a big cat took a big old shit in here.
Speaker: One time, one time my cat gave birth into our like four day old Indian food and it smelled like this.
Speaker: That took a ride.
Speaker: I thought you were about to tell a real anecdote for a second.
Speaker: I was like, I shit.
Speaker: Damn, this man's been the whole life.
Speaker: It was all over my chicken.
Speaker: Varianni.
Speaker: I did not know what to do.
Speaker: I mean, don't we still finished it because we're a waste not what not family, but the passion was gone.
Speaker: It tasted pretty good.
Speaker: I'm not going to lie.
Speaker: It was.
Speaker: Yeah, it wasn't.
Speaker: We, you know, you put a little seasoning, a little too.
Speaker: You're good to go.
Speaker: A little.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that helps with the inflammation.
Speaker: Oh, by the way, another one by now, solid state was carrying with him enough gear for three men dot dot dot.
Speaker: Oh my God, I'm writing this holy Jesus Christ.
Speaker: I'm writing this dot dot dot.
Speaker: Seth, are you actually reading this?
Speaker: Call me right now if you're reading this shit, they're signing it.
Speaker: They're signing it.
Speaker: I can't believe it.
Speaker: I know real quick, real quick.
Speaker: Seth did mention when we interviewed him, he talked about one of the authors who he would not say who, but he said one of the authors of these books was so invested in it or whatever that he had to literally he kept rewriting it and rewriting and working on it and working on it to the point that Seth actually had to show up at his house and take it from him and say, we're done.
Speaker: We're physically take the manuscript from the guy's house, take the manuscript from him.
Speaker: And I think over the course of the life of this podcast, we're probably going to go through all of these.
Speaker: Let's face facts.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think at the end of every book, we have to determine, is this the one that Seth had to go and physically remove from the author's home?
Speaker: And I'm thinking based on this sentence alone, no, I think this is probably, I think this guy mailed it in literally and figuratively.
Speaker: Yeah, I think he wrote the end print.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Oh boy.
Speaker: Rabbit punches, talks to a prisoner, Dr. Petrovich is still alive.
Speaker: Oh my god.
Speaker: We're up to key card six somehow by the end of this chapter.
Speaker: He just keeps finding them.
Speaker: They just shut up.
Speaker: Finding them in order.
Speaker: Yeah, that's my favorite part.
Speaker: Now that's the weirdest part.
Speaker: Like he planned it out, like this is a Metroidvania that Katofi was setting up for this guy.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: I feel like that should be the thing that the author was focused on.
Speaker: It's like, why not two and then eight and then six?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I almost feel like it was though.
Speaker: Cause he's like key card for all caps.
Speaker: Just so you're aware this is the fourth key key card and it's also number four in the list.
Speaker: Isn't that weird guys?
Speaker: That's super weird.
Speaker: Strange.
Speaker: Anyway, snake moves on.
Speaker: Are you guys buying this?
Speaker: We get to chapter 14, which is the trained killer scorpions.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: God help us.
Speaker: Not just killer scorpions, trained killer scorpions.
Speaker: And we could have also added mutant trained killer scorpions if we really want.
Speaker: What are they, like 15 feet tall or something?
Speaker: Yeah, they're like 15, 17 feet tall.
Speaker: They say, yeah.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: Did this guy not understand scale?
Speaker: Does he not realize how big a 15 foot tall scorpion would be?
Speaker: Yeah, just one.
Speaker: I think, I think, just one.
Speaker: Just one alone.
Speaker: There's three of them and our boy Justin does not react appropriately to seeing a 15 foot tall scorpion.
Speaker: scorpion, which is poop in your pants.
Speaker: That is the only appropriate reaction.
Speaker: I think at that point, I think at that point I would, you know, because they they made a point of saying like, we don't we don't know what Metal Gear is.
Speaker: We don't know what it does.
Speaker: I think I see a 15 foot tall scorpion.
Speaker: That metal.
Speaker: That's metal.
Speaker: That's metal.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I've never been more certain of anything in my life.
Speaker: That's the kaiju scorpions that they're keeping here.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: are Metal Gear.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: That's Metal Gear.
Speaker: But before he gets there, he finds a booby-trapped dummy of... Like, what?
Speaker: What kind of goof-ass Joker villain shit is this?
Speaker: Like, you've got a dummy of the guy he's looking for.
Speaker: Not only is there a dummy of the guy, by the way, like, of course, Saul is Snake with his, or sorry, Justin Halley, with his genius-level intuition that can just tell everything right away, his spider sense.
Speaker: Not only is it a dummy, after he blows it up,
Speaker: The fucking next key card is in the dummy.
Speaker: Like, are you kidding me?
Speaker: This dude made the... Just put this there for fun.
Speaker: Just to fuck with the guy.
Speaker: Just to make sure.
Speaker: Just after you kill your friend, then I'll let you keep going.
Speaker: What a maniacal bastard.
Speaker: I love this guy.
Speaker: I'm a big fan of Katafi.
Speaker: It's not about the money.
Speaker: It's not Katafi.
Speaker: It's about sending the key card.
Speaker: It is stupid.
Speaker: Very.
Speaker: And by the way, I did a quick look up here.
Speaker: There are scorpions in the first Metal Gear, but they are.
Speaker: It's there's is there a desert maze?
Speaker: Yeah, kind of like a King's Quest style desert maze.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They've got scorpions in those, but they appear to be like, I mean, at best, these are the size of puppies.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Yeah, that makes more sense.
Speaker: But they are not.
Speaker: is a boss monster.
Speaker: oh they just i think i think the i think the author was just like all right we need something here mutant scorpions right yeah kids like scorpions they're they're they're creepy looking right they got they're great great pets they're great pets um so he blows them to with a rocket launcher yeah um and we get this is probably the most detailed we get on any weapon operation in the book totally yeah but
Speaker: Because he's talking about how the rocket launcher is like what you think of a rocket launcher is actually you can't just keep reusing that tube over and over again to fire rockets because it starts to break down.
Speaker: Like, is that a thing?
Speaker: I don't.
Speaker: Is that it?
Speaker: Maybe.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: It's just he wrote it so confidently.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's a level of detail that I don't know.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: Of the book for a second.
Speaker: Totally.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I feel the same way.
Speaker: I was like, huh?
Speaker: Suddenly competent.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Very strange.
Speaker: Well, that's the thing.
Speaker: I think maybe this is my hunch.
Speaker: I think maybe Mr. Frost here.
Speaker: is a veteran and was just like playing this game and just slowly grinding his molars to a paste in anger of like, I did not watch my friends fucking die in the mud to write a book about fucking scorpions.
Speaker: And that's not how you carry weapons.
Speaker: Oh God.
Speaker: I can't prove it.
Speaker: I can't prove it, but let's assume that that's Alexander Frost's MO here.
Speaker: I buy it.
Speaker: I can't prove it, and maybe I don't want to.
Speaker: He kills the scorpions.
Speaker: Of course.
Speaker: He kills the scorpions.
Speaker: And he gets over to building three.
Speaker: He finds key card, or does he have key card seven already?
Speaker: I guess he has.
Speaker: I think he finds it here, doesn't he?
Speaker: He gets it from the dummy, doesn't he?
Speaker: He already has it.
Speaker: Yes, dummy dummy had yeah, I forgot that come on come on self come on Kevin Kevin we are we are reading Metal Gear have a little respect a little bit All right, just a moniker to dude come on.
Speaker: It's not like you just found I So close I blame no one but myself
Speaker: So he finds Ellen, the doctor's daughter, and he's like, yeah, we're going to I'm going to I'm going to save you.
Speaker: You're a brave girl, Ellen.
Speaker: I'm taking you out of here.
Speaker: And then he leaves her in another room.
Speaker: He sure does.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh,
Speaker: He's like, you'll be safe in this just this the room next to where I found you.
Speaker: You'll be safe there.
Speaker: Don't worry.
Speaker: No guards will check either room.
Speaker: The room, the room next to your prison will be fine.
Speaker: You'll be in the clear here.
Speaker: All these passed out guards, you'd think like someone would find them at some point and follow the trail of jaguar ass smell and would end up at one of these two rooms where this girl is being held.
Speaker: He meets Ellen and the first thing she goes, what?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: No, no, I've actually been wondering myself.
Speaker: It's all over this place.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: It's weird.
Speaker: Stay in this room.
Speaker: Stay in this room.
Speaker: What are your thoughts on Puma?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What do you think about Puma's?
Speaker: What do you think?
Speaker: I think they are majestic creatures.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And they don't smell that bad when you get used to it.
Speaker: At the end of the chapter, we get more of the Diana, Jennifer stuff, and I just stop paying attention to any time.
Speaker: That's really where those names comes up.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like, I'm not trying.
Speaker: This is somehow, this book was written for third graders, and somehow I am completely lost as to what Jennifer, Jennifer has a brother at some point suddenly.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Diana's signals were not the one like like we Jennifer's who he was meant to talk to originally by the guys who were screwing him.
Speaker: And Diana was like going to help him.
Speaker: But we find out Diana was the one who was not.
Speaker: You got to flip Jennifer.
Speaker: Actually, no, Diana was the one who was supposed to talk to the flip.
Speaker: Jennifer is the one that actually helps him.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, Jennifer's a freedom fighter freedom fighter and he and her brother Bob O'Reilly of O'Reilly's auto parts Wait, no his name is not Bob O'Reilly.
Speaker: His name is is Bob O'Reilly like Bob O'Reilly Is it oh yeah Wow, I missed that Robert O'Reilly my good friend.
Speaker: Yeah, I
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: He will not get fooled again.
Speaker: Teenage Wastelands!
Speaker: Oh my god.
Speaker: Yeah!
Speaker: I think I should... The next chapter does just start with, out here in the fields, I fight for my meals, so I don't know why.
Speaker: And it's just the MREs again.
Speaker: Bob O'Reilly, AKA Eagle Man, because we're suddenly Mega Man.
Speaker: We suddenly got Mega Man.
Speaker: We're just running out of code names now.
Speaker: He's Eagle Man.
Speaker: Bird person.
Speaker: I'm Eagle Man.
Speaker: I am Eagle Man.
Speaker: It has been a rough mating season for Eagle Man.
Speaker: Why are you still talking to Summer?
Speaker: She's not even on the other side of the compass, Justin.
Speaker: Move on.
Speaker: I can't believe you felt that.
Speaker: So basically, Bobby boy is he's in a trap and he's also Jennifer's brother.
Speaker: And he is he's he's rigged up with wires and he's
Speaker: Basically dark it Yeah, he's he's he's and there's there's a gas mask and His his bet there's like and here's the thing It's like a sudden injection of stakes like in just like right three paragraphs because like oh my god my best friend he calls this guy his best friend and
Speaker: is is in it is is captured and he's in a trap and oh my god i also learned he just has a sister he didn't know his best friend had a sister that his sister was a freedom fighter and that the sister is the one who's supposed to help him it's like in like three paragraphs we learn of the existence of bob o'reilly and that he's snake's best friend
Speaker: And that snake is also maybe the worst when it comes to like reading, you know, the exposition shit that he might need to know before going on his shit.
Speaker: Or even just knowing his friends.
Speaker: So there's basically he saves him.
Speaker: He gets him out of the booby trap.
Speaker: And my favorite thing in the world is that
Speaker: This happened right that key card 8 was taped to the guy's back.
Speaker: Yeah, but he doesn't realize until at the end when he's like you're okay, buddy.
Speaker: Oh, wait a second What's this on my back?
Speaker: It's weird feels like an American American Express credit card on your back
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: I love that they make a point of saying it's no bigger than the size of an American Express.
Speaker: You can almost see the registered trademark thing.
Speaker: It's really small font, but it's just it's right there.
Speaker: American Express, proud sponsor of Metal Gear since 1989.
Speaker: Metal Gear corporate sponsor.
Speaker: Never leave home without it.
Speaker: Credit card.
Speaker: So dumb.
Speaker: It's so Colonel.
Speaker: It's so.
Speaker: He's back on my American Express.
Speaker: Oh, no, I can't access Metal Gear without an American Express credit card.
Speaker: By these micro transactions.
Speaker: Shit.
Speaker: How am I going to get the new NFT?
Speaker: No, Metal Gear.
Speaker: Yeah, this is this is the real Endgame here for for snake for a good friend.
Speaker: This is the endgame.
Speaker: Yeah, he also figures out That the that laying out all the key cards is a map Because he couldn't figure that out with like seven or six of them.
Speaker: He needed the eight Only never turned any of them around and went huh, that's weird
Speaker: What a weird coinkydink.
Speaker: Solid snake, master of observations.
Speaker: And he also debates whether he should keep the other key cards or not.
Speaker: And he's like, I got all these guns, but it's the key cards that are really weighing me down.
Speaker: Right, that's the thing.
Speaker: It's just overbearing.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: It's like you it's like it's like they forgot that they weren't playing Resident Evil.
Speaker: Yeah, and like it's like oh man, everything's on a fucking grid on this rocket launchers like a thing.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean my pistol takes up the same amount of space as just one of these cards.
Speaker: Just slip in there, buddy.
Speaker: Just stuck them in your suit.
Speaker: You're good.
Speaker: Just worry about good.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: Just put them in your socks.
Speaker: I mean, you're fine.
Speaker: put them in your, you put them in your camo suit as they refer to his uniform.
Speaker: I'm presuming his camo.
Speaker: Are you sure?
Speaker: I've been imagining it as a camouflage of leotard this entire time.
Speaker: Every time they said camo suit, that made me think of like what someone from duck dynasty would wear.
Speaker: It's actually, it's actually the shoulders and arms are exposed.
Speaker: It's, it's a full on leotard.
Speaker: The tank top straps.
Speaker: He's doing Richard Simmons.
Speaker: He's just getting ready for some calisthenics.
Speaker: He's doing lunges as he walks down the hallway.
Speaker: By the way, Kevin, you and the rest of the groomsmen at the wedding will be wearing camber suits.
Speaker: Okay, that's good to know.
Speaker: No one will be able to see you.
Speaker: Because I'm the focus of the pictures.
Speaker: Oh, God, I can't wait.
Speaker: Congrats, by the way.
Speaker: Oh, thank you.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So he falls himself falling into total darkness.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: We get another random ass.
Speaker: Solid snake touched something.
Speaker: It felt like a lock down low in the base of the pillar.
Speaker: A lock.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That was it.
Speaker: That was it.
Speaker: It was a lock.
Speaker: Aha.
Speaker: A lock.
Speaker: Great.
Speaker: You are a lot.
Speaker: So he ends up falling and he's a real tired boy now.
Speaker: He is.
Speaker: He's having a long day.
Speaker: He's having a long day.
Speaker: He's eating like 20,000 calories in five minutes.
Speaker: And he's just had to poop for like...
Speaker: for like 30 minutes now and he's really starting to get some poop and cramps.
Speaker: The snake's been turtling.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: He's turtling.
Speaker: You know, you go out and you do all that exercise, it really gets the bowels open.
Speaker: He's not in a good place.
Speaker: He's not.
Speaker: And he finally, he finally sees Metal Gear.
Speaker: And here's, and he, here's the thing is nothing that huge and ugly could be anything else than Metal Gear.
Speaker: And I've never, I've never, I've never actually thought of Metal Gear as like ugly with every time I see like a Metal Gear, it's like that is actually some sleek and fine engineering.
Speaker: Like I'm like, it is, it's not like it's an ugly machine.
Speaker: Yeah, it's gorgeous.
Speaker: Yeah, you're right.
Speaker: It's gorgeous.
Speaker: It is a fine representation of German engineering right there.
Speaker: That is German precision engineering.
Speaker: Das Auto.
Speaker: Das Auto.
Speaker: Yeah, so he's there's like some weird supernatural thoughts that he has about it.
Speaker: Yeah, the metal itself seemed to radiate evil could this mysterious unknown metal be the source of Metal Gear's deadly power.
Speaker: No, I'm pretty sure it's the fucking nuclear weapons.
Speaker: No snake you're suffering from radiation poisoning.
Speaker: It's hallucinating man calm down.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: We also are cat counters up here, by the way.
Speaker: We're back.
Speaker: We got another like a jungle cat.
Speaker: Halley prowled on the scene.
Speaker: Sorry, pounced without warning.
Speaker: Buddy, come on.
Speaker: Pounced.
Speaker: I mean, I think we all think of cats when you use the word.
Speaker: Of course, his expertise in Tai Chi, the special breathing and natural movements of the animal world made Salad Snake a graceful shadow.
Speaker: Add Tai Chi to the list of useless skills for
Speaker: What do we got?
Speaker: Ventriloquism?
Speaker: Is that a thing?
Speaker: Tai Chi.
Speaker: My retired mother swears by Tai Chi as a way to do low impact exercise.
Speaker: Oh, I thought you were going to say that she swears by Tai Chi as a way of defeating evil robots.
Speaker: I mean, that too.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She's retired from... Back in the day.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's what she's retired from.
Speaker: That was her expertise.
Speaker: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker: That's a good point.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She was one for a few years.
Speaker: We get a nice countdown sequence and he has to disable the Lexan plastic shields or whatever.
Speaker: And there's eight locks and there's a guard for each lock.
Speaker: And each lock had seven wives.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: Each wife had seven cats.
Speaker: The answer's one.
Speaker: Say one.
Speaker: Only I was going.
Speaker: Only I was going to St.
Speaker: Ives.
Speaker: Goddammit, you saw Die Hard of the Vengeance 2.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: I swore no one was gonna see that movie.
Speaker: So he like, he starts fighting his way through and yeah, there's like a hubbub outside and he thinks it's the terrorists are winning.
Speaker: And there's, but it's not the terrorists are winning, it's the scene from Avengers Endgame where basically everybody he's rescued
Speaker: The big ring circle behind him.
Speaker: Everyone's coming out on your left.
Speaker: Watch me, Bray Fox.
Speaker: Don't worry, I'm coming.
Speaker: I'll help you out.
Speaker: Yeah, and within like, what, a seven second span of time, they take out like 800 people.
Speaker: Yeah, Bray Fox.
Speaker: It's just, things just get rowdy.
Speaker: And there's...
Speaker: He's fighting.
Speaker: He's knocking out the guards.
Speaker: And then the Lexan plastic gets knocked down.
Speaker: And Katafi gets knocked out.
Speaker: And Haley presses the button because there's just one single button that does it.
Speaker: Yeah, of course.
Speaker: And that disables Metal Gear.
Speaker: The world was safe.
Speaker: Bump, bump, bump, bump, bump.
Speaker: I want to say thank you so much to Katafi, by the way, for coming up with a list of places he wanted to nuke and mentioning Ottawa.
Speaker: Thank you for the representation up here.
Speaker: It's so nice to know that you wanted to blow us up.
Speaker: You consider us a formidable power that you need to stop.
Speaker: That means a lot to me.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Especially in the 90s.
Speaker: Wasn't that Pierre Elliott Trudeau?
Speaker: Who cares?
Speaker: That guy wasn't doing anything.
Speaker: He's walking around.
Speaker: We're going to blow that up.
Speaker: What are you doing?
Speaker: Ottawa, that'll teach them.
Speaker: That's the hub.
Speaker: Them and their fucking healthcare.
Speaker: Those bastards.
Speaker: He just was not a big fan of the Ottawa Senators.
Speaker: He just...
Speaker: And that's just it.
Speaker: That's pretty much it.
Speaker: And it just kind of drops.
Speaker: Everybody shows up.
Speaker: Commander South shows up.
Speaker: And the guy, they're like, Commander South might be a bad guy because of all this shit.
Speaker: None of that is resolved.
Speaker: And Kataffy just flees.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Yeah, it's away.
Speaker: It just gets away.
Speaker: Meanwhile, that's that has nothing to do with the plot of the game, because what you find out as you all we all know from Metal Gear Solid is that Big Boss, who is your boss, is actually the villain at the end of Metal Gear.
Speaker: Like.
Speaker: He was the one that was building Outer Heaven and the Metal Gear and all that stuff.
Speaker: But none of that is that.
Speaker: It's Vermin, Vermin, Katafi.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Well, you know, I'm doing a little bit of research here.
Speaker: He appears in both Metal Gear and Snake's Revenge.
Speaker: I'm seeing his nationality listed as Mongolian.
Speaker: Katafi, you know, I think we all should have known it's a it's a classic old Mongolian name.
Speaker: Katafi.
Speaker: Yeah, of course it is.
Speaker: It's just, you know, it's yeah.
Speaker: Son of son of Taffy, which Taffy is.
Speaker: I mean, Taffy's Taffy is like John.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's you had you had Genghis Taffy and
Speaker: It's just Kublai Taffy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's my boy.
Speaker: We go way back.
Speaker: I mean, they got us.
Speaker: They got as far as Southern Spain.
Speaker: It was really, I mean, the ancient, the ancient wars really were the best.
Speaker: And we do finally get to, I think at this point, everyone's favorite part of these books, the reading.
Speaker: The reading list.
Speaker: The recommended reading.
Speaker: Yeah, what is this list?
Speaker: From FX9 himself.
Speaker: What do we got here?
Speaker: We got Across Five Aprils by Irene Hunt.
Speaker: All Quiet on the Western Front.
Speaker: These are books being recommended for kids.
Speaker: Exactly, yeah.
Speaker: All Quiet on the Western Front.
Speaker: If you're in third grade, you're not getting through that.
Speaker: I didn't even read the books I wanted to read.
Speaker: I don't think we're ever too young to realize that life is shit and then you die.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: I was like, why isn't the things they carried on this list?
Speaker: This was clearly inspired by the things they carried.
Speaker: The things they carried is 100% the inspiration for Metal Gear.
Speaker: Young man in Vietnam.
Speaker: Naturally.
Speaker: Naturally.
Speaker: Best wishes FX9.
Speaker: Thank you, Seth.
Speaker: We love you, Seth.
Speaker: This was great.
Speaker: Other worlds of power books you will enjoy.
Speaker: Blaster Master, Metal Gear, Ninja Gaiden, already done it.
Speaker: Castlevania II, Simon's Quest, Wizards and Warriors, Bionic Commando.
Speaker: Yeah, that's got to be great.
Speaker: It's got to just be this, but with a grappling arm.
Speaker: I mean, that's still one of my favorite games of all time.
Speaker: Yes, man.
Speaker: I had a command.
Speaker: It was this but with a grappling toffee the second.
Speaker: Well, buy on a commando ends with a supervillain who is clearly Adolf.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: So 100 percent that the leader of the bad.
Speaker: I'm looking forward to.
Speaker: So I just looked up the Vermin Katafi is referenced on the packaging and in the instruction manual for the NES version of Metal Gear as the game's antagonist.
Speaker: Katafi does not actually appear in the game in which the leader of Outer Heaven is ultimately revealed to be Big Boss.
Speaker: His name is a parody of former Libyan dictator Muammar al-Gaddafi.
Speaker: could what what didn't know that katafi only makes a direct appearance in the worlds of power novelization based on information from the from the manual as a product of the game's localization he receives no mention in the japanese manual for the famicom version katafi was referenced again for the nes sequel snake's revenge being mentioned on the back of the game's packaging here he is described as having donated metal gear to the game's new antagonist hyarola cockamamie
Speaker: Cock-a-may-me.
Speaker: And was responsible for the deaths of two of Snake's friends, although neither the manual nor the game clarify who these friends were.
Speaker: Kitafi is also mentioned in marketing for materials for Snake's Revenge and its predecessor.
Speaker: Jesus.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Jesus.
Speaker: Like, okay, sure.
Speaker: Like, why not?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: How do you get that past the censors though?
Speaker: Like no one reviewing that was like, Qatafi sounds a lot like Gaddafi.
Speaker: And they're like, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Speaker: Well, but you know, the thing is they, they, they, they didn't lay it on as thick as I kind of thought they might.
Speaker: Um, but there were the occasional like scattered references to defending democracy and, uh, they're, they're not a specific nationality.
Speaker: They're just,
Speaker: flat out terrorists and that kind of thing.
Speaker: From a savage country.
Speaker: It shows you how far that shit goes back.
Speaker: From a savage country, which is, you know, not, it's not great.
Speaker: It's a little rough.
Speaker: Even for the 90s, that's not great.
Speaker: Even for the 90s, that's not great, Bob.
Speaker: Not great.
Speaker: What's up, Camilla?
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: Well, Jesse, what did you think of Metal Gear now that we've sold it?
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: You've had some time to reflect.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: I've had time to reflect, to think on it, to really look back at my experience of reading this book.
Speaker: And I got to say, it's worse now.
Speaker: Having more context, I actually hate it a little bit more.
Speaker: It's really bad.
Speaker: If I was a little kid and I got this and I read it, I wouldn't buy the Metal Gear video game.
Speaker: And if I already had it, I would sell my Metal Gear video game.
Speaker: This is it's it's bad for all the wrong reasons, because I'm just it's it's a let's play of a game that really isn't that interesting to talk about.
Speaker: It's kind of at that time, it would have probably been fun to play, I guess.
Speaker: But yeah, like to read it when you break down an NES video game like this,
Speaker: Wow, that's just boring as hell.
Speaker: The best part is that bit with the scorpions.
Speaker: And even then I'm like, okay, they blew up and they stunk really bad.
Speaker: Thanks, Snake.
Speaker: Or Halley, whatever.
Speaker: Stupid name.
Speaker: Justin Halley.
Speaker: Only Snake could have done that.
Speaker: So, Phil, your final thoughts on the book?
Speaker: It is.
Speaker: I stand by what I said earlier.
Speaker: Not as good as Ninja Gaiden, Gaiden, whatever.
Speaker: And but listen, listen.
Speaker: Miles ahead of Mega Man 2.
Speaker: I think we cannot.
Speaker: We cannot, we can't forget where we came from.
Speaker: It's so important to keep perspective on this thing.
Speaker: I kind of want to just, I want to add a sound clip to the soundboard of Scott saying, he was human now and he was hot.
Speaker: He was hot.
Speaker: That was so good.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I just, if there is this level in this book, there is a level of not, not disrespect for the source material per se, but almost outright loathing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like I, I can't help but feel that the author, the author's like, all right, I signed it.
Speaker: I'm going to make some money.
Speaker: I'm going to sign a contract for this.
Speaker: I I'm going to, I'm going to do this.
Speaker: Uh, but I can't help but feel that something
Speaker: in whether it was that it was, it was like $2,000 for a week's worth of work or something like that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: If that, yeah.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: If that, like, you know, and he, but something about this particular, it clearly pissed him off.
Speaker: Like he was poking holes in his own book.
Speaker: He's pointing out plot holes as he's writing them.
Speaker: And,
Speaker: I can't help but feel like he was just he was just like, fuck this, fuck this.
Speaker: They'll they'll read it again when they're older and they'll know that I will know is on their side.
Speaker: They will know.
Speaker: They will know.
Speaker: It's fast.
Speaker: It might be.
Speaker: I'm not being insincere when I say this.
Speaker: It might be one of the most fascinating books we've read on this.
Speaker: It is fascinating.
Speaker: It's in terms of in terms of coherence and storytelling.
Speaker: It's on on par with Dead Space in terms with antagonism towards the audience.
Speaker: um it's in a league of its own uh towards it's it it hates the reader and it hates its source material seriously really you can feel the hate coming off the pages of this one yeah it's seeping uh metal gear you can't hate me more than i hate myself alexander frost yeah i want to hit frost up i need to talk to him i need to ask him to write a sequel or an epilogue to this that's like katafi it opens like the year is 2011.
Speaker: Streets are full of angry citizens.
Speaker: Katafi has just been captured by Norian freedom fighters.
Speaker: Yeah, we're Bibians.
Speaker: Bibians.
Speaker: Yeah, so this was not a great book, but, you know.
Speaker: All right, I may have found a... This can't be right.
Speaker: But I may have found a plot.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I went ahead and just I just did a quick, quick rudimentary Google search.
Speaker: Alexander Frost author and under thrift books and the thrift books.
Speaker: So they have everything.
Speaker: but this can't be right.
Speaker: But we found metal gear by Alexander Frost, a hot, hot ticket item, 52 to $61 a pop because it's a collectible.
Speaker: And the other book, love and laugh the poetry of Alexander Frost.
Speaker: Oh, wow.
Speaker: Featuring the adventures of Arizona, Jake and Barbie buzzard vulture.
Speaker: okay this is a this is a collection of poetry and i i hope are you i buying it right now it's the same author is it is it in your cart already our next episode is literally just going just reciting the poetry wow what are all these end game books all german stuff am i losing it am i on the wrong thing here
Speaker: Where are you?
Speaker: Are you seeing you're not seeing any German stuff?
Speaker: Endgame?
Speaker: Sternenring?
Speaker: Oh, I was on Thriftbooks.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Look at that.
Speaker: Sternenring 3, Flaschenpost.
Speaker: Oh, this is a lot.
Speaker: Oh, interesting.
Speaker: Der Feldmob.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: What is going on?
Speaker: This is really happening.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Endgame.
Speaker: Sternenring 3.
Speaker: Uh, yeah, this is just straight up German.
Speaker: Like this is, and this is all attributed to the same author.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He said, okay, so Alexander for us is, is, uh, is, uh, Mike fireworks.
Speaker: Uh, he has apparently a trilogy, uh, called the Mike fireworks trilogy.
Speaker: Uh, if you're interested and I know you are, uh, uh, Mike fireworks too is called ice fire.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: This is this is interesting.
Speaker: He has a book called Food for Thought.
Speaker: That's like zoodles.
Speaker: Like the cover is just someone dropped their bowl of zoodles and then Luigi's face is just in there for some reason.
Speaker: This is an adventure.
Speaker: This is this is just this is a rabbit hole I was not expecting.
Speaker: I didn't see this happening.
Speaker: Oh, and a lot of his stuff has been co-written.
Speaker: Alexander Frost and Maximilian Frost, which is now my new pen name.
Speaker: Heal My Broken Heart, Love Grows Number One by Alexander Frost.
Speaker: Mike Fireworks 3, Back to the Roots.
Speaker: The synopsis in German says, Mike will Rache.
Speaker: Rache being German for revenge.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Of course.
Speaker: What's that say?
Speaker: Welcome to Pixelit.
Speaker: Welcome to Pixelit.
Speaker: My name?
Speaker: His paternal friend.
Speaker: And we do get we also get Alexandra Frost, who is a journalist and marketing writer.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And presumably not the same person, but she's got a rockin haircut.
Speaker: OK.
Speaker: It's got it's got I need to speak to your manager all over it.
Speaker: And I'm.
Speaker: She's doing great.
Speaker: Congrats to her.
Speaker: Well, Alexandra, if you're listening and I know you are, I think you're doing great.
Speaker: You're doing great, sweetie.
Speaker: You're doing great, sweaty.
Speaker: Keep up the good work.
Speaker: That'll do it for tonight's episode.
Speaker: I think we're good.
Speaker: Jesse, if there's anything you want to plug, go right in.
Speaker: Yeah, my buddy Nevin, Nevin Holmes.
Speaker: Oh, yes.
Speaker: Justicar.
Speaker: Justicar.
Speaker: Justicar.
Speaker: The funding will be over by the time this airs, but you should have supported Justicar, you punks.
Speaker: Seriously.
Speaker: Listen to Kevin, all right?
Speaker: It's a great time.
Speaker: It's a beautiful game from a beautiful person.
Speaker: It looks like a lot of fun.
Speaker: I really everything that is made is fantastic.
Speaker: If you haven't checked out Gunslinger, you should check that out, too.
Speaker: But make sure before you spend money on that, you back just a car on Kickstarter.
Speaker: Just just search.
Speaker: It's fantastic.
Speaker: If you like my cousin Vinny and Phoenix Wright, you're going to like just a car.
Speaker: So so go ahead and back it and or pre buy it or whatever stage it's in when you're listening to this episode.
Speaker: Yeah, it's it's it's good times.
Speaker: But yeah, so that'll do it for tonight's episode.
Speaker: Please follow us on Twitter at PixelitPod.
Speaker: You can follow us on Instagram at PixelitPod.
Speaker: You can find us on the web at PixelitPod.com where we have links to all sorts of goodies, past episodes.
Speaker: That time we were on other people's podcasts.
Speaker: You can find them there as well.
Speaker: All that good stuff.
Speaker: And with that...
Speaker: Well, we'll call it a good Metal Gear evening.
Speaker: Good Metal Gear evening to you and yours.
Speaker: Have a good night, everyone.
