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How to Show up Imperfectly
20 Plays4 months ago
Alex and Natalie talk about what it means to show up imperfectly and give what you have on any given day while knowing it will not always be perfect (100%).
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Transcript
New Year Reflections and Personal Growth
00:00:01
Natalie Tyner
Hello and welcome back to A&N's track talk. We hope you guys all enjoyed the holiday season. I know it has been a really crazy past few weeks for me, but I'm super excited to be here today and chatting with Alex and we have a lot for you guys. But today we're recording and it's about like three days after the new year. So not long, 2025 just started and it feels weird saying that still.
00:00:31
Natalie Tyner
But I have a little like quick story to start us off. So I was texting Alex on New Year's new year's Day, and I was like you know asking her, you know, did you have fun last night? You were talking about our New Year's Eve and what we did, blah, blah, blah. And I honestly just feel like I had a lot of growth this New Year's Eve, so quick, like proud moment of myself.
00:00:52
Natalie Tyner
by Backstory, I am someone who really likes to be in bed early and really, I don't necessarily like to wake up early, but I just like to be in bed early. like If I try to stay up past 10, most of the time I'm tired and I'm just like not happy and I just need to be in bed. And I've pretty much lived that way my entire life. like There's been moments where obviously I stay up and there's times where I love to stay up later and just like enjoy time with whoever I'm with, but most of the time after 10, I just don't feel good anymore.
00:01:24
Natalie Tyner
So I feel like New Year's Eve is one of those nights where there's so much pressure to stay up until midnight and it's like so lame if you don't, which is what I was always tell myself. Like I don't think it's lame, but I would always tell myself that. And this year I gave myself full permission to just go to bed whenever I wanted. And that ended up being at 11, which midnight was an hour away, but I was so exhausted. Like I was just so ready to be in bed.
00:01:54
Natalie Tyner
And I had already had a lot of fun with my family and friends, and I was just ready for bed. So I just wanted to celebrate that quick little win and make it clear to everyone that it's okay to not stay up until midnight on New Year's Eve. And I just feel like it's a huge progress. And I think this comes down to just doing things for you and living your life for you and not what others' expectations are.
00:02:21
Natalie Tyner
And I think this is a very good segue into what we're going to dive into today. So, Alex, I'll let you roll us into today's topic.
Societal Expectations vs Personal Needs
00:02:30
Alex
Thank you. Okay, first of all, I love this story because I do feel like especially in your 20s, there's so much pressure to be like partying and going out and meeting people. And that's like really fun. But also sometimes that's just not what you like want or need in a given moment. And it feels I feel like I get such bad FOMO. And I then I feel like I'm not living my life fully enough if I'm not doing what everyone else is doing. But I love this story because like, it's so important to recognize that just because you're not doing those same exact things that everyone else is doing doesn't mean that you're not
00:03:06
Alex
living fully or having a good start to the new year. So thank you for sharing that Natalie. yeah
Mastering Circumstances: Imperfection and Small Wins
00:03:12
Natalie Tyner
Yes, of course.
00:03:13
Alex
um
00:03:15
Alex
So anyways, today we're going to be discussing a lesson that I have found to be so hard to learn and definitely I'm still working on this. um But we're going to be talking about mastering your circumstances by being willing to show up imperfectly and just celebrate small wins.
00:03:34
Alex
um And so before we get into it, I wanna talk about like, what does this mean showing up imperfectly? And I was thinking back to this story from my freshman year of high school that I feel like sums it up really well. And as I was thinking about this, it was so crazy because this is the exact opposite of how I behaved for the rest of my college career. So how I did this at age 14, I don't know.
00:03:58
Alex
Um, but anyways, so my freshman year of high school, I was like running really well. I think I expected myself to be on our team's varsity and race at state and to go to NXN and be like a really big contributor to the team.
00:04:15
Alex
Anyways, I ended up getting a stress fracture in my shin um that fall and that was the first time I'd ever been injured. So I was really upset and just like devastated. And it was really hard for me to not be running because I was just so dependent on that as like.
00:04:31
Alex
my thing that I did that I loved. um But I ended up handling it really well, which is just crazy to me still. um But basically, I just took my recovery super chill. I would aqua jog for 20 minutes a day, um which is not that much. like I know a lot of people when they're injured will cross train for like two hours a day. But I just did it for 20 minutes, and that was enough. um And also, it was so boring, so I didn't force myself.
00:04:59
Alex
Um, and then I just did PT and worked my way back so slowly. Like I started on the alter G treadmill and then I did a walk jogs for like months and months. It was from October to January that I was just like, or maybe even February that I was just working my way back.
00:05:17
Alex
And then I just knew immediately that the reason I got this injury was that I hadn't been eating enough. So I saw a nutritionist and I cracked down my eating so much. Like I became such a good planner and started like packing my own lunches, making my food.
00:05:33
Alex
and just eating way more than I had been, which just was like nowhere close to enough before. And then like going to bed really early, I like started going to bed at 9.30 every night, which it did become like kind of obsessive, but that's a whole other story.
00:05:47
Alex
um But I was really proud of this time looking back because I just did not care what anybody else on the team was doing. And like so everyone people were running so much faster than me and so much more than me. But I just knew that I was on this different path where I couldn't be doing that at that specific time. And I just had a really strong belief that I would be really good at running. And I just knew it would take time.
00:06:13
Alex
And I like never, I remember like looking back, I just never doubted that. So it didn't bother me that I wasn't where I wanted to be at the time because I knew I would get there. um And I just knew it would and take me time to come back from this pretty big injury. um And then I think another thing that contributed to it was that I just had so much respect for my teammates that I believed that like anything they could do I would be able to do too eventually.
00:06:40
Alex
So when I came back that track season, I raced in JV races only. I was never in varsity or anything like that, which I definitely had expected to be kind of going into that year. And for throughout that whole season, I was very consistent with my racing, but also like for where I had expected to be, the times I was running were just very like average. Um,
00:07:07
Alex
And I ended up, I think what I'm really proud of is that even though I wasn't running these like superstar times, I treated every race with like the same attitude as I would have if I had been training to win the state championship. um And then when the season ended, obviously I didn't make the state meet, but I trained with my teammates while they were getting ready for that. And I just allowed myself to get dropped in every single workout.
00:07:34
Alex
um So looking back, I am like really surprised at this time because I was just literally celebrating every small win that there was. like I broke 12 minutes in the 3,200. And I remember after that race just being so present and so happy. And I just felt so grateful that I was healthy and racing and making progress, even though I wasn't anywhere where near where I thought I should have been at the time. I was just celebrating um that really small progress.
00:08:04
Alex
And then I ended up having that track season be a foundation for so much more consistency that the next year I was able to improve so much and achieve ah so many of the goals that I had set out for myself. um And so looking back on all this, I realized that all the success I later had in my high school career started on the foundation of just being willing to show up and be so imperfect every single day of my freshman year. And I wasn't winning and I wasn't getting PRs or doing anything crazy, but I was so confident that my journey was just different than everybody else's. So I just did what I was told and I knew it would work and I didn't try and do anything different or like I didn't try and add on all this crazy training so I could catch up to where I thought I was supposed to be. and
00:08:54
Alex
um So looking back I'm really proud of this time and really thankful that somehow I was able to do that for myself. um Anyways, so really long story but I think it illustrates the idea of showing up imperfectly because it just means being able to celebrate the small wins and be where your feet are, which is something we talked about a lot in college.
Progress Over Perfection: A Consistent Journey
00:09:16
Alex
But just being present and willing to show up every day even when it's not good or great or perfect is ultimately what sets the foundation to be able to continue making progress for years and years to come.
00:09:28
Natalie Tyner
Yeah, I love that. That is such a great example. And it's, it's funny hearing you say that, because I mean, I don't think you've ever really, or we've ever really talked about that before, you know, like, oh you know, most of the time and we're in college, we're not sitting there talking about, you know, the things we went through our freshman year of high school. ah And I think I've never really heard you share that story.
00:09:53
Natalie Tyner
but it is really powerful and you're right because it is very opposite from how things went in college.
00:09:58
Alex
hey
00:10:00
Natalie Tyner
But it is such a great lesson and I do feel like showing up imperfectly has a lot to do with the freshman mentality. And we talked about this a little bit bit last time, but just like having that mentality that you don't have this crazy expectation.
00:10:18
Natalie Tyner
You're going and doing the things and you're not all consumed by these crazy outcomes, you're just happy to keep be to keep making progress. You're not so consumed with being the best of the best. And I think there's a side to that where in sport we feel like you know we have to keep showing up and you know being the best of the best at all times. but
00:10:46
Natalie Tyner
This is funny because I just got this new planner and I'm a planner. I have like a million planners and it has this like little bookmark in it. And it says, forget perfection. Let's just make progress. And that's so huge to just like showing up imperfectly, but it's huge to any part of your life, whether it's sport or anything else. It's like,
00:11:12
Natalie Tyner
Stop trying to be perfect all the time. Just keep making progress towards your next steps, towards where you're trying to get next.
00:11:20
Alex
Yes, exactly. I love that. And I totally agree. I think it does have a lot to do with the freshman mentality. like Thinking back to why I struggled with that so much in college is that I had already had some level of success.
00:11:36
Alex
And I feel like I thought that I needed to get back to that or like surpass that immediately. And that created so much pressure to always be like never satisfied with where I was or never able to take those small steps.
00:11:48
Alex
um So the freshman mentality is so huge.
00:11:48
Natalie Tyner
Yeah.
00:11:51
Natalie Tyner
But I think that's a huge thing for like a lot of college freshmen, if not all college freshmen, because to get to the point of competing at a collegiate sport, you've had to have a lot of success to get there.
00:11:51
Alex
ah
00:12:04
Natalie Tyner
by But what we don't realize is like, we're so young and the people who are also competing can be like four or five years older than you, if not more looking at BYU. Um, just kidding, just kidding. Um, but if not like a significant amount older than you, and that plays a huge part in it. Like you have to be able to like let that freshman mentality sink in a little bit in college as well, because you might know a ton about your sport, but you don't know a ton about your sport in college.
00:12:35
Alex
Yes, exactly. ah Even if you've run times that would win these college races, just being in that environment and being away from home and taking college classes, like everything is so different. You really do have to approach it with the mentality of just being a newbie and trying to make little progress and be consistent as it goes. um And Natalie, I wanted to bring this up because I was thinking about this and I think that your track season our sophomore year of college is a really good example of just showing up imperfectly and I remember always looking back on this throughout college and thinking that it's such a good model of like coming back from any type of setback and I remember when you came back like we both were doing workouts that
00:13:25
Alex
we thought were probably too easy and it was like kind of frustrating to not be doing what we thought we should be doing, quote unquote. um and But you just took that so much in stride and took each workout and just developed this season of really strong consistency and then running just a string of really solid races and it was nothing that was crazy glamorous school record whatever but it was so much progress and then you ended up in the 10k that year being one spot away from qualifying for regionals
00:14:04
Alex
um with a time that would have gotten in probably any other year. um So just a huge amount of progress. um And I think it was, i've I remember like looking back on this and thinking that that season was a really important setup to everything you did over the next two years as well. So can you tell us how you were able to frame your mindset during that semester to be present and just continue to show up imperfectly?
00:14:31
Natalie Tyner
Yeah, I agree. i mean I think that season is a great example of showing up imperfectly. and you're not wrong in that there was definitely a lot of frustration in the season with training.
00:14:43
Natalie Tyner
But, you know, I was never one to like sit there and just be like, oh, the training's too easy. I'm i'm not going to be good because the training's too easy. It just was like ah it was a really weird time.
00:14:56
Natalie Tyner
And there's no point in even like trying to explain this because Covid just made this really weird. But it was just like the workouts were very different than, you know, kind of the expectation.
00:15:02
Alex
Hey.
00:15:06
Natalie Tyner
and You know, I wasn't caught up in this mindset of like, I had to do a really hard workout to be good. And I think that honestly was really helpful. um But there still was a lot of frustration, obviously, just, you know, with.
00:15:20
Natalie Tyner
not being in a full team and blah, blah, blah. So ultimately though, when it came down to mindset, I was just happy to be there and to be competing after like pretty much a year and a half of setbacks. It was just progress to be on the track at all. It was progress to be hitting consistent workouts. It was progress to be healthy. And I think a lot of what Coach and I talked about that season was just showing up and going out there.
00:15:49
Natalie Tyner
like Obviously there were things that I wanted more out of that season, but it was more of like looking back on it. Like I wish I had accomplished this. I mean, pretty much every race I ran that season was still a PR. Like I still PR'd like every, like I was still making progress. It just wasn't the progress or the places that I thought I would have been at that time.
00:16:12
Alex
Mm.
00:16:13
Natalie Tyner
And you know no matter how easy the workouts felt, I just didn't care. I just did what I was told to do. And you know while I do think there are times where it's okay to like ask questions about your training and you know why you're doing what you're doing, it just like wasn't one of them. I just wanted to keep going, and I was just going to let it be. I almost feel like I had that freshman mentality. you know I was a second semester sophomore, but it was my first time ever racing in college, and I was just kind of letting it be. like I was running races I'd also never ran before, and I think that makes a difference as well. like you know Running the 10K, I had never done that before. ah That was very much a freshman mentality race, right? like Just go out there and do it, and then you know
00:17:02
Natalie Tyner
Running the 5K on the track, running a 1500, those things were all so different that it almost felt like being a freshman in high school all over again. um And yeah, I wanted more from that season, of course. I mean, we're always going to be striving for more. That's just the way are you know the ah athlete mentality is. But the thing with any sport is that it takes freaking time. like It takes a lot of time.
00:17:29
Natalie Tyner
I was confident in myself and my ability to get better and faster, but it didn't happen the first race of the season. It didn't happen the second race of the season. like Yes, I was having these like little minor PRs, but I didn't see myself still running a 17-something 5K in college. like That's just not where I thought I would be at that point.
00:17:51
Natalie Tyner
but by the end of the season, I was running a 17 minute 5K for the first half of my 10K. So it's just like those things take time and they're very much a like ball, you know, it just like keeps rolling.
00:18:04
Natalie Tyner
Like a snowball effect. I was trying to think of the right word there, but I was just going to do what I needed in that moment.
00:18:06
Alex
no A ball.
00:18:12
Natalie Tyner
And I do agree with what you said, Alex, is like, this was a huge foundation for the coming years. And I don't think, Any of us recognized it in the moment. I don't think I recognize it in the moment, but it definitely was like a huge foundation to just be there in the moment, be present in the moment, not so focused on what I was going to do in cross country or what I was going to do in track next year, just racing in the moment and going with it.
00:18:41
Alex
yeah Yes, exactly. I feel like a lot of themes that keep coming up are one, trying to let go of those expectations and two, just being present where you are. And that doesn't mean not having more goals and more things that you want. Because I think with any high level athlete, you're always going to be striving for more but I feel like a common theme between the story of my freshman year of high school and your sophomore year of college is just one like being grateful to be there and just kind of letting each day happen and you don't realize it at the time and you're not doing it because you want to set a foundation um but then when it comes together and you have that hindsight you realize how important that time is
00:19:32
Alex
But it really just comes from being present every single day um and not constantly trying to compare yourself to your expectation of where you think you should be or should have been. um And looking back, and obviously hindsight is 2020, but many of the struggles I went through during college stemmed from really like losing sight of that mentality. And I think a lot of it comes from I felt I feel like I was so insecure in where I was and so desperate to achieve all the big goals I had in a really limited timeline that constantly felt like I was just losing time and losing time. And
00:20:19
Alex
I think I was always more confident in my hard work than my talent. So that encouraged me to kind of go overboard with work rather than just being confident and present with where I was.
00:20:33
Alex
Um, so for all of my injuries, I cross trained super intense and always came back to running, like running too fast and never being satisfied with where my training was or where my mileage was.
College Challenges: Pressure and Growth
00:20:46
Alex
And I wanted to be running more and running the same as everyone else and doing harder workouts. And it all stemmed from this insecurity. Whereas in contrast, I think in high school, I was so confident, almost maybe too confident.
00:21:02
Alex
But it created a foundation of security where I felt confident in all of my training decisions because I knew I would get to where I wanted to be eventually. And I was also just grateful to be there and grateful to be healthy. and and so Looking back to college, I feel like if I had been happier with small wins, like first run after coming back from an injury, first race, regardless of whether it's a PR or not, it could have allowed me to gain more momentum. But as our coach could probably attest to, I was just frustrated all of the time. And there was one example where I think I had been like recently working back from an injury and we did a 3K time trial around the gravel loop.
00:21:47
Alex
And the first UK were like the pace was assigned. So it was pretty controlled. And then the last 1000 meters, we were able to just go free. And so it was a really good step forward. I built throughout the last lap. But I came away with it. And instead of celebrating that win, I was just frustrated that we hadn't been able to run hard from the gun. So I wrote that in my log, of course. And I ended up getting a call from Coach Sorensen later that day. And he was frustrated with me that I couldn't just celebrate a really big step forward. Instead, I had to be still frustrated. um And at the time,
00:22:33
Alex
I was still frustrated even during this call. I didn't understand why he was frustrated with me. But looking back, I can see that it was a huge win and celebrating those little things would have really helped me to just start to gain momentum and take it one step at a time. But I was so desperate and impatient and I felt like I didn't have enough time to get where I wanted to be that I really struggled to see that.
00:23:00
Natalie Tyner
Yeah, dude, this is so real. i I mean, we spent all of undergrad together. I've watched you really struggle with this, and it it was hard. like I tried to tell you not to be frustrated, too. like But there's you know there's part of that that's just like sometimes you're just going to be frustrated with where you're at. And I think there's another piece to it of you were talking about like this timeline.
00:23:29
Natalie Tyner
you know
00:23:30
Alex
Mm hmm.
00:23:31
Natalie Tyner
Do you feel like there is somewhat of like this concrete timeline in college where you kind of feel like time is running out? Whereas in high school, there feels like there's so much more time, like you have so many years, you're so young, whether you're looking ahead to college or even just in the moment thinking, wow, I have four more years of high school and that feels like so much time.
00:23:52
Alex
Mm hmm.
00:23:54
Natalie Tyner
But I think when you get to college, there's this automatic fear. we can automatically see sports going away in our future. If we do not hit the X mark by a certain time, then we have no future in running or competing professionally. And I say that as in like, I think that's the way our mentality is. I don't think that's true. So I think there's like this feeling and almost like a deadline for sport. And I think that adds even more pressure. Now, and I say, I don't think that's true because
00:24:30
Natalie Tyner
Once you're out of college and you're out of it, you're like, wait, there's still so many ways to continue competing and continuing to be a part of your sport. Honestly, no matter what the sport is, it's obviously a lot harder with, you know, say football or um soccer or lacrosse, you know, any of those. But running in particular, like our sport in particular, you can keep doing it as long as you're healthy for the rest of your life, you know, like,
00:24:57
Natalie Tyner
There's marathons and 5Ks and everything and you know running is this huge trend right now. so you know But I think there's still this deadline that like college is going to end and if I don't have all my goals completed by that time, then I'm a failure. And that's just not the way it works. like like we had We set like some massive goals going in and you know those things may not always happen.
00:25:22
Natalie Tyner
And then you tie in how competitive D1 sports are. Like we are constantly being challenged and compared to how others are performing versus trying to just better ourselves. And it makes it nearly impossible to be present with where we are.
00:25:37
Natalie Tyner
And I think for you, Alex, that ties into a lot of your struggles in undergrad as well was seeing like how well our team was improving and how well just like everybody was doing, but like you weren't there yet. And I say yet, and I mean yet very strongly because you always have the capability to get there, but you kept having these setbacks and that obviously was very hard mentally and it plays into a role of just like not being able to stay present with where you are because you have this deadline in your head first off.
00:26:14
Natalie Tyner
And then second off, you see everybody else improving and you're like, I need to get there too. And it's like, how can I get there as quickly as possible versus sitting back and letting the foundation lay down, you know, letting it become concrete.
00:26:22
Alex
Mm hmm.
00:26:32
Natalie Tyner
And, you know, It's also important to look at there is this messaging in athletics to never be satisfied. And as I was saying earlier, there's, there are aspects of that that are true and important. Like you can't just run one race, run a PR and be satisfied, or you're probably never going to do your sport again. Right. But also it's okay to celebrate the wins. It is okay to not be like fully satisfied with where you are, but to be happy with the progress that you've made.
00:27:03
Natalie Tyner
And I think ultimately the message in athletics should change probably. like The message of never being satisfied is tough. like For people in the shoes of like having setbacks and injuries and stuff, it's hard. do You're ready to get back quickly. So I was trying to think of like a different way to phrase this. and Honestly, I think the exact quote I said earlier that I found in my planet was like, forget for perfection and let's just make progress. Like keep striving for growth. And I think this fully encapsulates the idea that it's not going to be perfect and that we do have to celebrate those small victories.
00:27:49
Alex
Yes, exactly. Going back to what you were saying about the timeline, I think that is so true, especially in college. I remember talking about this with our sports psych and we kind of realized that I think a lot of like the pressure I put on myself came from the huge giant role that running had in my life and the fear of that being over at some point. And so the fear of that ending like makes it feel so urgent to achieve everything you want to achieve in a really short timeframe, which can make it really hard to be patient and lay down that um foundation
00:28:34
Alex
but ultimately that is the way to get to where you want to be. It's just hard to see that in the short term, but I love the idea of kind of reframing it because yes, I think no high level athlete is ever completely satisfied or even not even just in athletics, but by still not being fully satisfied, but also being able to celebrate the progress that you make and then continue to strive for growth is such an ideal way to kind of reframe that mindset. And I think it also requires willing to be able to chart your own path and not do what everybody else is doing.
00:29:16
Alex
Um, sometimes I think it kind of just means being able to just put on those blinders and focus on your path rather than comparing to these benchmarks of where everyone else is, like you were saying also and.
00:29:33
Alex
I always imagine like those little blinders things that the horses wear when they're in races. I don't even know what those are called, but it's just being so locked in on your path that you can't see what everyone else is doing, which also doesn't mean not competing with others. Cause I think competition is such a huge part of racing and having fun with running also, but just being willing to be focused on your path and be okay with that being different from the path that everyone else is taking.
00:30:04
Natalie Tyner
Yeah. I mean, as an athlete, it can be hard to block out the unnecessary noise. I mean, of course, there's value in seeing what other people are doing and being competitive, but being able to balance those things, the competitive fire in the deep understanding of your own needs in any any given move moment. My gosh, words.
00:30:27
Natalie Tyner
is ultimately what separates the best athletes from everyone else. Running in sport isn't about throwing everything you have at the wall and just hoping it sticks. It's about building this awareness of your body and individual needs while also knowing that when the time and place is to just let it all go and let the competitive fire take over.
Mindset Shift: 'Do Now Well' Approach
00:30:51
Natalie Tyner
It definitely takes a lot of time. It definitely takes a lot of maturity and experience to learn how to do this. So don't feel like you need to have it all figured out overnight, but keep making progress. Progress over perfection.
00:31:07
Alex
Yes, exactly. I think this a really underrated part of the sport is the fact that elite runners are not just the ones who can train the hardest all the time, but they've taken so much time to cultivate that awareness of themselves and their mental and physical needs to be able to know.
00:31:26
Alex
When to push when to pull back and when to just kind of let it all go. And it does take so much time. And it also takes so much confidence in knowing yourself well enough not to feel the need to just be looking into what other people are doing.
00:31:43
Alex
um Another thing I think of when it comes to showing up imperfectly that's helped me similar to progress over perfection, but is the phrase do now well, do now well. Sorry, I feel like that was really unclear. But I originally heard this on a podcast with Dr. Colleen Hacker, who is a sports psychologist who worked with the US women's national soccer team. And I feel like this expression is so helpful because it allows numerous things to be true at one time.
00:32:17
Alex
One is that you're mastering your circumstances no matter where they are. So maybe you're going through a mental block or a setback or an injury, or you're running amazing, running the best you've ever had. But no matter what that circumstance is, you're doing your best with the conditions that you have at that moment. And it's okay for that not to be exactly everything you want it to be.
00:32:47
Alex
but you're using what you have in the moment and just doing the best you can. um And I think it allows you to be imperfect, but still be doing that moment in time as best as you possibly can.
00:33:00
Natalie Tyner
Yeah, and I think it's also important to add that doing now well doesn't mean training as hard as you can. Like, it can mean taking a rest day, it can mean taking an easy run day, it can mean taking a lighter training day, it can be eating more or adding an extra nap. Doing now well is about doing your best to address your needs in the moment. It isn't always training as hard as you can because training isn't always going to be perfect. And and it's not It's not always you're going to be able to train at the hardest level ever. So sometimes doing now well is like, okay, I just need to like rest and recover because that is what your body needs in the moment in time.
00:33:42
Natalie Tyner
and quick like little story, because this actually like applies very well to my current life. um But one of my New Year's goals, and i like I'm not big on resolution, so it's not really a resolution. It's just more of like something that I'm excited to kind of do. um So one of my goals was like to just really get back to training at a more athletic level. So you know obviously, I've gone into my backstory of, like having three knee surgeries and injuries and stuff. So like really last year for me was just like getting healthy and like being able to train at all. But this year, like I really just want to get back to like more higher intensity training. Um, but the first four days of January, I have had this like minor sickness, just constant over the past couple of days. And I was like, okay,
00:34:41
Natalie Tyner
I have these goals to do these things, but that doesn't mean that I have to like, you know, everybody gets in this role of like, Oh, I have this news resolution and like, they go gung-ho right from the start. But like what I needed right now was just like rest and recover. I've been traveling for four weeks and like, I'm sick and like recovering is the thing that I need in this moment. So I think it plays very well into like, you know, doing what I need to do right now well.
00:35:11
Natalie Tyner
And that doesn't take away from your ultimate goals. Like those things are still going to happen and this is a way so that I can recover to be able to do those things. So.
00:35:21
Alex
Yes, exactly. Yeah, that's why doing now well can mean so many different things, but it's ultimately about owning your journey and just taking whatever the next logical step is that's going to get you to where you want to go. um And that doesn't mean always going gung-ho into this really intense training. Sometimes that is taking a step back because you know that's what you need in that moment in order to master this specific moment in time.
00:35:53
Alex
And so ultimately, I think it does require a lot of owning your journey and having the confidence and self belief to know that you'll get where you want to be. Like with that story, like it's tempting to want to do what everyone else is doing and get in the gym right away as everyone is seeming to do in the new year.
00:36:10
Natalie Tyner
okay
00:36:10
Alex
But you have the self belief to know that that's not actually what you need at this moment.
00:36:17
Natalie Tyner
Exactly. Exactly. And like, that's the hardest part is like, we have these external factors coming at us all the time, you know, like, We constantly have something that is looking us in the face, whether it's from social media or it's watching your teammates or whatever it is of like, what is everybody else doing? And it it's it comes back to like putting those blinders on, just like you said. ah And it, you know, it can feel kind of counterintuitive sometimes, but owning your journey doesn't mean
00:36:49
Natalie Tyner
that like you're just satisfied with where you're at all times or that you're not looking to get better. It just means that you're present in the ups and downs of your journey because there are going to be ups and there are going to be downs. And unfortunately right now I started in a little bit of a down, but like I'm so confident that I'm going to move up into that the ups and you know have more things that are going to be setbacks. And so you know making the best decision in each moment to be where you want to be down the road.
Celebrating Small Victories: Reinforcing Progress
00:37:21
Natalie Tyner
you know You need to make the decision right now. And that starts laying a foundation for where you're going to be six months from now. And there's something about making a decision. And we think once a decision is made, once something you know is done, that we're going to feel this automatic relief and that we're going to know that it's the right thing. And that's just not how it happens. I promise you, you will never know
00:37:50
Natalie Tyner
what is going to happen. And you're never going to like, even when you make that decision, sometimes it's still not going to feel like it was the right decision. It may not even feel like the wrong decision. It just, you just might not feel anything. So be present with where you are and what you've went out of life. And, you know, I think it comes back with celebrating the small wins because when you know you take these major steps and you know something happens or whatever it is, you're working towards a goal and you make a decision to do something differently, you're not gonna be where you wanna be right then. And it can be easy to get bogged down on trying to get to this big goal and just keep and you just keep falling short of it. But by celebrating those small little wins each day,
00:38:46
Natalie Tyner
You're giving yourself reinforcement that what you are doing is working and helping and giving yourself the confidence to get there. And something that I have my clients do is weekly give me their wins from the week.
00:38:59
Natalie Tyner
I don't care if your win was that you got out of bed today. Like whatever your win is, celebrate those small little things.
00:39:08
Alex
Yeah, exactly.
00:39:08
Natalie Tyner
Small wins.
00:39:09
Alex
Yes, I love that. I think it feels so cliche sometimes to be reflecting back on what these little wins are, but it definitely can be so helpful.
00:39:22
Alex
Even just this week, I was Like feeling frustrated and anxious because the indoor track season is coming and I don't feel like I am where I want to be. But then I was looking back at my training from eight weeks ago when I was just doing run walks.
00:39:41
Alex
up until yesterday when I did hill strides for the first time and I realized just how much progress that is and how it's really coming not that long of a time but sometimes if you don't take the time to reflect back on those things it's easy to just get bogged down in the day-to-day without realizing how much progress you're making so it's definitely helpful.
00:40:03
Natalie Tyner
Yeah, i mean I think there's so many examples and running in running and sports and just the world in general of you know just continuing to make that progress and showing up imperfectly, but you know consistently over time making those leaps of progress.
Consistency Over Perfection: Building Foundations
00:40:20
Natalie Tyner
and
00:40:20
Alex
Mm.
00:40:22
Natalie Tyner
I mean, in our college training, that was our mindset. You know, most of the workouts were not like a day workouts. They were B plus average workouts and they weren't about being amazing and flashy. And on any one day they were about showing up each day and not being perfect, but recovering and coming back for weeks to months to years. And that's why like, you know, my sophomore year wasn't this like huge breakthrough because all of a sudden I trained really hard, but it laid the foundation to buy my senior year, like doing really well. So,
00:40:51
Natalie Tyner
it's It's so easy to get hung up on one race, one workout, one game, but everything is not going to go the way you want it to. And there's always something to learn from those days. It is also just another imperfect day that gets stacked up on top of the other days to form this overall foundation of consistency.
00:41:13
Alex
Exactly. And I think this mindset just
Applying Imperfection to Life and Relationships
00:41:17
Alex
carries into so much of like all areas of life, not just athletics, similar to what you were saying with when you make a big decision or a life change. I think a lot of people expect that to feel really like gratifying immediately, but that's not the case in a lot of times in life. You just have to show up and sit in like discomfort or feeling like you're not exactly where you want to be. um And nobody around you has really arrived and have achieved the things they all want to achieve. um So just kind of recognizing that. And I've thought about this a lot with like going on first dates to
00:41:58
Alex
I feel like there's so much pressure that you feel to show up and be perfect and funny and pretty and outgoing and talkative. But nobody is actually there or perfect.
00:42:10
Alex
And it's okay to just show up and be imperfect and awkward. And you're still one step closer to wherever you want to be. And also I think when you show up and it's, you've taken away some of that pressure of being perfect, it actually makes it so much easier to be your fullest self. And you just have so much freedom to struggle and fail and get better. Um, so it can be a really freeing mindset in many ways.
00:42:38
Natalie Tyner
Yes, I love that. I feel like I'm literally the one who used to tell you that um about first dates.
00:42:43
Alex
Maybe.
00:42:47
Natalie Tyner
But I feel like it is something that like I've also embraced in my career and personal life. like I've always been one who's anxious about what others think, worried about my appearance and how I come across.
00:42:59
Natalie Tyner
like After years of this, though, like I finally have found more comfort in myself and who I am, what I'm doing. and i just don't care one bit about what others think. And I know this is so much easier said than done because like I've made that progress. Like I know how hard it is, but it, you know, it comes down to being comfortable with showing up imperfectly.
00:43:20
Natalie Tyner
You don't need to be perfect all the time. No one ever is perfect. In life, things will never happen the way they think, or the way we think they will. 2024 for me was a year where I finally realized this. You can try to do everything perfectly and still fall short somewhere.
00:43:42
Natalie Tyner
so Over time, I adapted to the mentality of instead of trying to show up perfectly in everything, how about just showing up every day and giving it what I have. And maybe that means taking a day to rest. Maybe it means working my butt off one day, like whatever it is.
00:43:59
Natalie Tyner
And another little side note, because I think this ties in well, similar to the first date scenario. So I am well past the first date thing, like in a long-term relationship. So like past the whole first dating phase of things, but like,
00:44:17
Natalie Tyner
I was recently given this advice, well, I shouldn't say recently. like I feel like multiple people have told me this like in the past two years or so. And I think it's just really, and it's you know relationship advice, but I think it's very applicable to all aspects of life. On any given day, you are never at 100%. You can never give 100% to everything, right?
00:44:42
Natalie Tyner
So in a relationship, romantic or not, you have to recognize that sometimes you will not be able to give 100% on that day. You may only be able to give 60% on that day. And that is when you have to communicate that with whoever you know is in that relationship, your partner, or whatever, and they're there to help you make up that other 40%.
00:45:05
Natalie Tyner
So you're probably like, okay, how does this apply to what we're talking about? But I think this applies like really strongly to sport and like recognizing that you're never going to be able to show up a hundred percent on any given day. So when you show up on the field track, court, et cetera, course, whatever, you're really going to have a hundred percent to give.
00:45:26
Natalie Tyner
But that is why you have your teammates and your coaches that are there to support you and help you make up that last percent, right? You can give 100% of that 60%. Like maybe you only have 60% to give that day. You can give all 60% of that. And that is when you have others there to help you you know get to 100% or whatever it is. Ultimately, you're never going to show up perfectly. You will never have 100% to give.
00:45:54
Natalie Tyner
show up with what you have, lean on those around you, and be okay with only being able to give 60% that day or whatever you have. So there's my relationship slash sport advice.
00:46:04
Alex
Yes, absolutely.
00:46:09
Alex
So welcome to our dating podcast. um We're actually rebranding. This is not about running anymore. No, but I totally
Final Reflections: Support and Imperfect Presence
00:46:18
Alex
agree. I think that's so true. It applies to so many areas of life. um And ultimately, it is so important to recognize that you're not going to be able to give that 100% every day and everywhere. And it's important to be able to give and take and lean on others And speaking of showing up imperfectly, it can't hurt to have somebody else to give you advice on how to do that, to make it a little bit easier, guys, because you don't have to do it all alone. And so if this sounds like something that you could benefit from, reach out to Natalie for coaching advice and to work with high school and college athletes.
00:46:57
Natalie Tyner
Yes, guys, let me know. I am here. You can follow me at not sport prep or ah on Instagram. And if you're a runner looking for like more of the training side of things, message me at run coach, not. Yeah.
00:47:13
Alex
Yes, follow the Instagrams guys. They're insightful. They're fun. Be sure to like and comment. And in the meantime, please, if you want to like and subscribe to the podcast, leave a review or even share it with some of your friends.
00:47:32
Natalie Tyner
Yes, guys, thanks for listening and we will see you next time with a special guest who will be revealed next time.
00:47:43
Alex
Okay, bye guys!
00:47:45
Natalie Tyner
Bye!