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A & N Track Talk: Sarah Trainor's Story
108 Plays5 months ago
Sarah discus's her how her early success in running fueled by anger faded quick when she was no longer angry. Then she enters the world of college athletics and talks about managing the balance between being a high performing athlete and enjoying life.
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Transcript
Introducing Sarah Treanor
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome back to A&N Track Talk. Today we are so excited because we have Sarah Treanor on the podcast with us. Sarah has been such a light in our lives. And I'm sure for many other people who can attest to this, but Sarah has really been a role model for me. And we've talked a lot about learning to find the balance between working really hard at running, but also enjoying life.
00:00:27
Speaker
and building strong relationships. So I'm so excited to dive into that more. Yes, I'm so excited to have Sarah here. Me and Alex spend quite a bit of time with um Sarah when we were at UNC altogether.
Sarah's Influence at UNC
00:00:42
Speaker
And I honestly just reflect on how much she just made an impact on everyone's lives to just really get to know everyone and really create a great team culture with everyone.
00:00:56
Speaker
So I'm super excited to hear more about Sarah's story from the very beginning until now. So let's bring Sarah in.
Sarah's Early Life and Sports
00:01:06
Speaker
Sarah, welcome in. We're so happy to have you. Hey, guys. It's so great to see you. I love you. We love you. How are you? I'm doing good. I'm doing very good this morning. Awesome. How is the weather up in Connecticut?
00:01:24
Speaker
Cold. Um, yesterday it was in the twenties. I'm assuming today is the same. I have not been outside yet, but you know. Yeah. Yeah. A little too cold for me, but I'll let you have it. Thanks. All right. Are you ready to dive on into it, Sarah? Yeah, I am ready.
00:01:50
Speaker
So Sarah, let's start from the beginning. Tell us what it was like to grow up in Poughkeepsie. Did you play any sports growing up? And how did you end up getting into running? Yeah, um, I grew up with a stay at home mom and like,
00:02:09
Speaker
You know, blue collar dad, um I had a very lovely childhood. I have two siblings. I'm the youngest. My sister's just one grade above me. And then my brother was it's six years older than me, but, you know, he was always so fun. And we all played basketball. My dad was our coach, you know, in the church league and the travel again.
00:02:33
Speaker
It just like really, I immediately fell in love with it. um I wanted to get out of that court as fast as I could. I wasn't always the best. um It took me two years to make my first shot in a game, but you know I was just so happy to be there. ah I tried other sports too. I tried tee ball. I tried soccer. I tried gymnastics. you know I did anything that my parents would put me in. um and you know i loved the middle school mile and the paper to piece or test and everything. So when I could start doing ah school sports, I was very excited for that. That was seventh grade in New York for us. And so, you know, I wanted to join a sport as fast as I could and cross country as a fall sport.
00:03:24
Speaker
and you didn't need to try out. And so I was just like, I've run four, I like it. And so I signed up. And actually I had a lot of friends that were gonna sign up with me and then none of them did, but whatever, not about it now. oh But anyways, so I did it as fast as I could and you know, continued basketball. And then I gently stopped doing basketball by my eighth grade year because I was going to sit the bench probably um in high school. So I ran full time. And yeah, I just I fell in love with it. I loved it. I love the people. I had really good coaches, luckily. Yeah, I think there's something special about that experience of growing up playing a lot of sports and then slowly progressing into running and running.
00:04:14
Speaker
You know, it's funny when you say, you know, I loved running the mile in middle school and I love doing the pacer test because I always, you know, I was the same way like those are my favorite parts of gym class and everybody else hated that. But I think that's such an important piece that some somewhere in some way, there's some of us who like actually have found like this like weird love for the thing that most people hate and it come you know gradually building that up through time with sport and it's it's a crazy experience it really is and you know i love my background in sports it makes me feel like a full athlete you know i think specialization too early burns out a child and like
00:05:02
Speaker
doesn't set great like physical habits when they're little. um Trying every sport that you can and just enjoying any game like creates great teamwork and like work ethic, diligence, and then just longevity and an active lifestyle.
High School Achievements and Challenges
00:05:21
Speaker
Yeah, and I feel like it honestly set you up so well for the success that you you had early on in your high school careers, you know, being able to set the high school national record in steeplechase at the time and I would think that playing a lot of sports growing up plays a huge part in steeplechase. Like it's not just running. It is a lot more athletic than running a mile, you know, for example. So how do you reflect on kind of that transition from more team sports to running and how that plays into your success with running and steeplechase?
00:06:10
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, you know, I, once I started doing cross country and track, like, I was pulled up to varsity my first year in cross country, I always like, it was super thrilling from the jump that like, you know, like, Oh, I'm running fast, you know, I won my first race in modified now bring her up and you you know, then I'm third on the team and stuff like that. So it was always like super thrilling and like I like almost didn't even didn't even notice like the transition between like deep team sport and then into this like more individual but still team oriented sport.
00:06:57
Speaker
Yeah, and I think there's a huge aspect of that of it is still a team sport. When people wanna say it's not a team sport, I think there's times where it's not a team sport, but I think in the ah high school and college realm, there is still a huge team aspect across the board, especially with good coaching. So tell us a bit about some of you know your proudest moments in high school and some of your biggest struggles. Yeah, I mean,
00:07:28
Speaker
You know, my my proudest moment was definitely hitting the national record in the steeplechase. I did it my junior year of high school, and a couple months before that race came up, um my coach pulls me aside during the indoor season into his classroom, his, you know, Algebra II classroom, and ah he,
00:07:55
Speaker
introduces this idea to me. um He was like, I want you to hit this record. I think you can break it. And I was like, what are you talking about? That's 12 seconds faster than my PR. um And he was like, yeah, I know. But then he gave me all these stats and this and that. you know And and he was he was very practical in that way. And that he was like, I like look at the stats. You're going to do it. And so I was like, OK, we'll do it. And then shortly after, he told me that he was going to leave after that year. And that was really hard for me.
00:08:28
Speaker
ah because he was such a father figure to me. My parents had started going through a divorce like my sophomore year of high school. And so I became very isolated and quiet at home and like sport was really my way to cope. And I used him as my father figure, you know, and as my support and and he just saw me. And so when he told me he was leaving, but ah like I wanted to do that record for him. So,
00:08:58
Speaker
badly and we even set the date it was I think it was May the 4th um that year I I don't know what year like 2019 or 18 or something like that a while ago at this point but um Uh, it was at our home meet, our invitational. I went to FDR high school because, um, where I'm from, I'm from the same place as Franklin Delano Roosevelt. And so, uh, our mascot is the presidents. And so our home meet was called the Oval Office. And so he was like, we're going to do it. We're going to do it here. And so.
00:09:36
Speaker
in leading up to that. I was like, I really want to do that for him. And even on the last lap, I remember him yelling at me like over the intercom too, because of course he was running the meet too. He had to manage everything, but he was dealing with me. and And he was like, you need to hit a 77. And I was like, OK.
00:10:48
Speaker
The expectations I just felt were just overwhelming. i you know I wanted to just keep getting higher and higher, and I felt like I had to. you know I felt like there were eyes on me now. oh And like people would ask for photos with me. Somebody stole my like roller after the race because it had my name on it. And so I felt like I needed to. I had a gym teacher look at me after I threw a football right, and she goes, is there anything you can't do?
00:11:22
Speaker
And so I was like, oh my gosh, like I need to keep doing this or I'm a failure. like um And so yeah, just dealing with those expectations. And I ended that junior year with a stress fracture in my right shin. I heard a crack on the second ah water chase.
00:11:42
Speaker
water barrier um of the state me um and pretty soon after that I was struggling to walk and they took an x-ray they didn't even need an um MRI I had a stress fracture and so coming into the next season I was also out of shape with a new coach and You know, we didn't like the coach for a while. We had, you know, every nitpick problem with him and whatever. And ah it was just like a really, a really hard time um to manage that to the point where when COVID hit my senior year of high school and, you know,
00:12:17
Speaker
canceled the outdoor season. All I felt was overwhelming relief that I didn't need to try to defend that record. And I would graduate with it. um And so and it was just like, okay, like I can just go to college now. So it was definitely really hard struggling with that. Yeah, absolutely. I think it's so special that you were able to have a coach who really believed in you and told you that I think like a lot of people are really talented but they don't necessarily have that sense of what really is achievable and so I think that's really special that he was able to help you set your sights on a high goal like that but obviously the pressure following such a big achievement can be really hard especially for someone who's so young
00:13:03
Speaker
um Is there anything that you think would have helped you navigate those that pressure and the expectations that you were feeling? Yeah.
00:13:14
Speaker
um Before I answer that I just do also want to place that emphasis on having a good coach can just get you so far I was so unbelievably lucky to have such a father figure um as my coach and he just really saw me for me and, and he was always checking up on me, I, he started seeing the signs that I was getting.
00:13:35
Speaker
really nervous before races, I would be like almost in tears. and And he would be like, Sarah, you do not have to run this race if you don't want to, you know that, right? And I was like, what are you talking about? Like, of course I want to, you know, like, because I mean, I've been having all that success. And it was like, what else would I be like, this is what I do. Like, obviously, oh, I want to run it. And and then like,
00:13:57
Speaker
you know As I started getting older, he like I hadn't grown into my body yet. you know i was I was a lot of bone. um I look back at those photos and I'm like, wow. like Yeah, i but I was small. and He like would talk to me and be like, you know if you eat a little more, like it's going to turn into muscle. And I was like, oh, I don't have any disorder. like What are you talking about? And and he was like, no. but like I and like he knew I was having problems at home and and he a couple times brought me like oatmeal to have like at home like just like microwavable some stuff because he was like, you know, um if you just like ever need it. There it is like he just was like so
00:14:42
Speaker
ah like, tentative like that. it was It was just amazing. And then what else I would just say, I would just put myself in therapy earlier. I, you know, Dr. Carr at UNC, the sports psychologist just really changed my life. um I, you know, I started seeing him after my sophomore year of of college, you know, right after Coach Sorensen very validly was like, we need to talk about your spot on this team. And instead of kicking me off, he was like,
00:15:12
Speaker
you should try more like sport-based therapy um because I just started choking at races because I was too nervous, I would just shut down. um And so I would just get myself into therapy earlier and just start working through and develop these healthy coke coping mechanisms instead of just you know using running as my only vice and my only sense of identity and purpose.
00:15:37
Speaker
I think that is such a powerful message. That is a very, very powerful message and important advice for anyone, really. um I think we tend to use running as a vice. We tend to use running as a coping mechanism. But when It's at the level that, you know, we are at that collegiate level where there's a lot of pressure. Or even in the high school level where, you know, you had this huge expectation to perform. It it almost is too much because you're already using running as a coping mechanism. And then you add on top of that, that there's this added pressure that you you have to perform well in running. That when the two start to meet,
00:16:30
Speaker
they they can't go hand in hand anymore. And I think it's something that needs to be talked about way more is like being able to have coping mechanisms outside of running. If you want to be successful in running, or if you want to continue to enjoy the sport that you once loved.
00:16:53
Speaker
Yeah, totally. I vividly remember talking to um my therapist at UNC and him saying, name two examples of you having a genuinely good time, and they it can't be while you were running. And I could only name one. I couldn't even think of another one. ah And and like I was just like, wow, like this is like all I have right now.
00:17:21
Speaker
Yeah, and absolutely. Yeah, I think it's so easy for running to become a crutch in many ways. And then, I mean, one, just to be able to have other things in your life for when you don't have running.
Choosing UNC
00:17:35
Speaker
But also, I think being able to have that balance really enhances you're running success as well. um It's so hard to run well like you were saying when that's everything that you have and you're relying on that for um like so much satisfaction in your life. Yeah, totally. I so agree.
00:17:57
Speaker
But let's backtrack a little bit. So you visited UNC in your senior year of high school. What was this experience like for you and how did you end up deciding to go to UNC?
00:18:11
Speaker
I just, you know, I think I always knew I was going to go to UNC. Um, like, uh, well, obviously I didn't always know. I didn't know much about colleges. Um, and I remember when my coach was like, you could do this in college. I was like, for real? Like, Oh my gosh. Uh, but, um, I remember like talking to the coaches when they were still at Stanford.
00:18:37
Speaker
um And being like, wow, I i love these coaches, but I'm not going to Stanford. like It's Stanford, and it's in California. And then they started talking to me at UNC June before my senior year. They called me up. Coach Milk did.
00:18:54
Speaker
hey so we're in at UNC now and you want to come here instead basically it was funny and I was like wow like now that's attainable like North Carolina I can do that um you know I traveled to Greensboro for nationals one time I can do that um and so uh I when I like went on that visit I just I remember it was it was funny it was like non-traditional and like I just like I don't know it was like they only showed me like you know the track and the girls and like
00:19:32
Speaker
you know just around campus and like that's exactly what I wanted. I didn't want all the glitz and glamour, the football game that they show me and things like that. like i just I wanted to see like you know the real life, like what I was actually gonna do.
00:19:48
Speaker
you know, they didn't put me in a jersey and take a picture of me and I was i was thankful. I was just like allowed to like observe this team and and I remember Natalie showing me around and I just felt so safe even then like with her calming presence just walking me around and and I was injured at the time so when we went to the blue track, you know, the blue outdoor track um She just came to the practice and also watched with me and and I remember Alex vividly like leading a rep, you know, before I knew you guys and I just watched her go and they were just powerfully like, you know, in a row just moving around the curve and I was just like, wow, like,
00:20:31
Speaker
Yeah, this is like obviously where I want to be. I think these are the best coaches in the country. like How could I not do this? And so like it took me a while to decide, but after I decided, I was like, yeah, like this is this is where I wanted to go.
00:20:49
Speaker
Yeah, that's awesome. i remember I remember your visit a lot. you we were I was also injured at the time and you know I went down to the track with you and we were i think yeah we were observing while they were working out pretty much. And then I remember vividly a lot of like in my dorm room that night like yes me you and Naomi just just talking for like an hour and I was finally like okay I think we need to go to bed but I mean I think that making those connections in that
00:21:26
Speaker
in that time when you are visiting says a lot about what the next four years is going to look like. Like, it's not about the flashy things, you know, I don't care, like, like you said, like, who cares about the flashy football, you know, there are people who are really into that stuff, like the flashy, going to the football game, taking pictures in the jerseys and stuff. And You know, in the end, it's about where you're going to be happy. You know, genuinely, genuinely who are you going to enjoy spending time with? You're going to enjoy, you're not going to be taking pictures and going to football games every day. So I think that's but's a good part of how we did our recruiting process at the time.
00:22:11
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's funny that you said that. like I vividly remember staring at the ceiling, the Carmichael ceiling on you know the the mattress that was there. It was Naomi's birthday. It was like later October. And um it was funny because I was like,
00:22:28
Speaker
Coach Milt was a little shorter than I expected. And you guys were like, yeah. And then I was like, and Coach Sorensen moved like, just like a little bit robotically, just like a little bit. We're going to be honest. And you two gave a little, and you were like, yeah. That's weird. Don't worry. They got their quirks. And I was like, yeah. And I just remember staring at the ceiling me and being like, yeah. Yeah, I mess with this. And I did that at UConn as well. like I you know and again it took me a long time to come to terms with it but I think after that visit like I i did know deep inside like I was sitting there and the girls were we had a painting night that night and we were just sitting in one of their dorms and it smelled so good and they were just so
00:23:13
Speaker
like relaxed and and just happy. And I was sitting there just observing them like a fly on the wall. And I was just like, I love this. I just, I love this. And and that's exactly how it is. i And I'm having so much fun. And so I enjoy still sitting in their apartments and just looking at them and just like watching them interact. And I just, it's just like, wow, like I love this. Yeah.
00:23:42
Speaker
I love that you remember that it smelled good in their dorm. Oh, yeah. Just some important details. But yeah, I think that speaks a lot to like, how it's the relationships that are so much more important than like the campus or the facilities or any of those things too.
00:23:58
Speaker
Yeah, especially as your freshman year was, you know, first semester, you know, you already knew it was COVID times coming in, but it's completely different going to a completely different state living in a dorm where like, nobody else is there. The only people who are allowed to be there were athletes. So I mean, your first semester and really your whole first year was just a full year of of COVID and you know we already know that the freshman year poses a lot of challenges and is a hard transition period. So I'm curious to see, you know we talked a little bit about your early experience, but do you feel like you know the pandemic affected that in any way or do you feel like that was kind of a lot of how your freshman year was gonna go either way?
00:24:54
Speaker
Oh my goodness. Yeah, it totally did. um You know, to no fault of anyone, like, there was just like this guilt that I always had, you know, because like, if you were even like near anyone who um tested positive or was a COVID contact, like, you were shut down for two weeks away from anyone. And so like just the risk was so high, I didn't know all the names of my women teammates on the distance team until the end of that first semester because we weren't allowed to hang out. um And so I only hung out with ah my roommate, Paul Volter, McKenna, loved her. She's awesome. And then, ah you know, the the four other distance girls.
00:25:47
Speaker
And then we would hang out with the freshmen boys. And I remember halfway, and that was a risk enough. It was 12 of us. And, you know, halfway through the first semester, our coaches were like, you know, you can hang out with the freshmen boys if you want to too. And I just remember being like, wow, like,
00:26:04
Speaker
did you think like I you know I know it was like a risk to hang out with them because there was like I guess so many of us but also like they were the only 12 people that I hung out with that whole semester like do you think I was only hanging out with like five people I just I would go crazy I would I would lose it ah you know I don't know so like ah yeah I just always felt guilty because like I wanted to do really well for my team and I was trying to compete and ah Yeah, I also wasn't doing well. um ah Like, ah trying to not get COVID. I remember um my we had like, sweet mates for a little bit. um And
00:26:48
Speaker
one of them was a COVID contact. And I am never interacting with her. We just share a bathroom. And I called my coach, was like, oh no, like she's a COVID contact. What do I do? And he was like, I think you need to quarantine for two weeks. And I sat on the ground with McKenna, and we like cried. Because like what are we going to do? like Now we can't hang out with anyone. like I'm just isolated. I couldn't do it. you know When we did eventually get COVID, our second semester,
00:27:16
Speaker
um we were all put in, it was like almost freeing in a way, because we were all put in ah these dorms that looked like an insane asylum. And people would come in with hazmat suits once a day and drop off food. um So that was crazy, but then we could hang out freely. And then for 90 days after that, it wasn't a risk of us getting COVID. So it was like a little more freeing. um And so,
00:27:48
Speaker
like almost getting COVID was like easier than just trying to avoid it all the time. You know, not that we tried to get it, but when it did happen, like, okay, like, okay. You know, and luckily, like we were pretty okay. We came out mostly like, you know, just with like minor flu and cold symptoms.
00:28:10
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. That was, that's definitely a crazy way to start your freshman year of college. And I think probably, I'm sure you guys, like as distance runners, you're a little bit, tend to be a little bit more type A. So all of the rules that are associated with the quarantine and the isolation, I think a lot of us took that to heart really, really seriously. Really seriously. I'm sure that, yeah, that definitely made it challenging. and and as a freshman, especially not being able to bond with the rest of the team in the same way, definitely it was an obstacle. But I do think you guys did a great job of forging those really strong relationships with each other, which was, I guess, one maybe benefit of that.
00:28:52
Speaker
Yeah, I think it's hard also that like, you weren't able to have as much connection with the the older women on the team. um Obviously, Alex and I weren't that much older, but I mean more of like, you know, the the seniors and fifth years and you know, possibly even six years. I don't remember exactly the age of Aaron. Yeah. Like everyone who was like, you know, up there in agent, just like not being able to have that connection with them. Because I think you learn a lot from the older people on the team, especially in your freshman year. Yeah. 100%. And like, again, like, you know, I went through, my parents went through a divorce when I was like 15, 16 years old. And then I didn't talk to my mother for a long time. And so I was just like craving that, like,
00:29:41
Speaker
older maternal like role model. and so like I remember like being really excited for college to have like older women on the team that I could just like look up to. and you know in like to Again, no fault of anyone. like We just couldn't interact very well. and so you know I just had to like look at them with stars in my eyes from a distance.
Challenges and Growth at UNC
00:30:06
Speaker
and know like Just think Morgan Elsie is just like really cool, but never really be able to talk to her. yeah yeah ah It was quite a time, quite a time in everyone's lives.
00:30:22
Speaker
made it definitely the transition for for you guys a lot harder. But I know you also mentioned just in general, you weren't overly happy like in ah in an overall sense with your success in undergrad. Can you tell us a little bit more about your four years at UNC and kind of how that went? Yeah.
00:30:52
Speaker
Yeah. Sometimes it's really hard for me to even just figure out what the heck happened. you know like yeah I feel like when people ask me like what happened, like I don't know. My answer changes a little bit ah each time because I just like feel like I haven't fully figured out like you know what it was. But there was just so many compounding factors like you know when, again, like you know, my, my parents were through a divorce. And so then my coping mechanism was running and I was so angry at my family. And so I ran with this anger all the time. And like, then I was hitting good times and I was getting my name in the newspaper, you know, and I'd be like, see, I'm doing great. I'm doing great. And it's not because of you guys, I don't actually need you, any of you, I'm doing great. And ah then I get to college and,
00:31:49
Speaker
And I wasn't angry anymore. Um, I was not angry and I was also scared out of my mind because, you know, COVID just cut off my senior year. So I didn't have to deal with trying to defend the steeple record, but I still had all this expectation on me to now I thought, you know, well, now I need to go.
00:32:08
Speaker
run at nationals my first year. Like that's just like what it is, you know, like what I have to do. I'm going to be on top five of the team and like we're going to, you know, within these four years, we're going to get a national championship, you know, like is what like I expected. um And so I had all those expectations on me. And then also my body was changing. I was changing from my teenage body to my adult body that nobody really ever tells you about. You know, in my first semester, I gained 15 pounds.
00:32:38
Speaker
And it wasn't like, like I needed that weight, like I needed to fill out my body and like grow muscles. so But when nobody tells you that's going to happen. And and then also like you have all these like,
00:32:52
Speaker
things going on, you're anxious and you're racing bad and you're like, well, is it a bad thing? Like, should I try to lose it? Um, so I can race good again. Cause when I was 15 pounds lighter, like I was racing really good. Maybe that's why. Um, even though I knew like.
00:33:11
Speaker
Well, I know eating disorders are bad, but I don't know what else to do. So I didn't develop one. Luckily, I just, you know, I saw one nutritionist and she was like, no, your bones need it. Like your bones need to be like, you're fine. So I was like, okay, well, that's not it. um And I just felt like I kept slamming my head against the wall, like training as hard as I could, trying to do everything perfect. And then I would go out in the races and I would just do that. Like I just,
00:33:40
Speaker
I you know would just be racing and not be able to push myself to the limits that I used to be able to push myself. If it got hard, I got soft. like i just If a girl got up on me, I'd just let her pass me. And I was like, what am I doing? you know And that went on for so long. like i you know By the end of my freshman year, I so i scratched away a couple good races.
00:34:03
Speaker
oh but it they were far and few between. And you know by the time I got to regionals um for the steeplechase my freshman year, I was so burnt out from college. like We were at the late-stay dorms and it was so hot and nobody was there. And a couple of people were taking summer classes so they couldn't hang out with us. They were too busy. And so ah yeah like I remember me and Sasha would do puzzles on the ground sometimes. And she did most of the puzzles because I just like couldn't get myself to really get up and do anything. Practice was my only thing of the day. We would play beach volleyball for five minutes, and then it was far too hot. We would all like groan and go back to our rooms to take a nap. And so like practice was like my only thing, and I was just pressed. And I remember telling my coaches, I actually like can't even fathom racing right now because I just want to go home so bad.
00:34:59
Speaker
And sure enough, like I get to Florida, we're there, and i and I get in that race, and I start racing. And then my mind just shut off, and I just jogged it in. And and i'm like I only kicked 100 meters left right after the water barrier. And I finished that, and I'm like, what the heck? But i was also like but now I can go home.
00:35:22
Speaker
you know and and it was kind of like very similar in my sophomore year you know we cranked up the miles like i did all the training perfectly i was so you know fit whatever that means you know um ready to race but every time i got in those races i just flopped you know it and and then you know after a whole year of that i was like okay like now my sophomore year like It has to be good now. Like I have all these expectations. It has to be good now. And it just still wasn't. And again, I like somehow scraped away a couple good races, but we hit the ACC championships my sophomore year and, and I start running the race, I get out good. And then all of a sudden it got harder than I expected. And I said, Oh, I can't do this in my mind. Like.
00:36:10
Speaker
subconsciously that's exactly like I was just like I can't do this and then I just jogged it in and again ran 20 seconds slower than like the PR that I had that in from the beginning of the season and then yeah I get to regionals and again I do the same thing I ah you know my parents were watching um online because it was like broadcasted or my sister and my dad were and my sister took a picture of it and sent it to me so I saw it after the race and she like she just looked at me I was just standing at the line you know everybody else is shaking their legs they're jumping they're doing strides like I just got to the line and I just stood there and it was in Indiana Bloomington and I
00:36:55
Speaker
That's all I did. And I had one high school friend that went to Bloomington ah for school. She swam there and and she was watching my race and she just watched me flop. It was so bad that, you know, she was a swimmer. She didn't know anything about turn field, but it was so bad that like when I walked over to her after the race, she was was like, and it was just kind of like, thanks for watching. I'm sorry. I did so bad. And she was like, Oh, it's okay. Like,
00:37:20
Speaker
you know you're doing great whatever she gets it she's also an athlete but um i just i just stood there and and i got out really good the first 200 meters and i was like oh my gosh like that was really good what and then all of a sudden i just said no what i saw the water bit coming up on the first lap and And then just again, I just jogged it in. And I remember Katie Thrunts and throwing her arm over me, like in a very reassuring way after the race was just like, Hey, good job girl. Like, and I was like, no. And she was like, yeah, me neither. Like, she didn't like her race either, which I thought was so funny. And, you know, I always thought she was so cool because she was also my, um, uh, my host for when I visited Tennessee and she was just like, so, so cool. So, you know, her talking to me, I was like geeked, but.
00:38:06
Speaker
It was a really bad race. I was just like, yeah. and And then, sure enough, afterwards, I walk over to my coach and and he was like, what was that? like What happened? And I was like, I don't i don't know. like because And I didn't. And he was like, we need to talk about... like you wearing this jersey and racing like that. Like you can't be doing that. And he's right. Like I felt like I was like insulting the whole team by coming out to the regional me and racing like that. And so I was just like, okay. And then like
00:38:39
Speaker
I come up to our other coach, Coach Milt, and he's like, Sarah, it didn't even look like you were having fun out there. You have to think about if you want to do this, because this is supposed to be fun. This is supposed to be the best part. You can enjoy this, and it just didn't look like you were. And I was like, yeah. And I just felt so disheveled. And two weeks later, I hadn't looked at anything track and field. I couldn't. It actually physically pained me.
00:39:06
Speaker
you know my coach Johnson calls me and he's like, let's set you up with a therapist. And that was the nicest thing he could have done. Cause he could have kicked me off the team. Like, I mean, I was doing really bad, but you know, I think I'm so lucky that he recognized that I i just need help. Like I just needed to work through this. And so then I started seeing Dr. Carr and and it really just did change my whole life. And I remember the first couple of meetings, I just, I would just cry. Like, ah you know you know, you have to start from the beginning and it obviously was all still really sore and raw for me.
00:39:37
Speaker
Um, that I just like would cry and just try to talk through it. And I didn't understand anything that was going on. And, and he just helped me work through so much and realize how hard I was on myself and, you know, all the unhealthy coping mechanisms I had developed because I tried my entire identity to running. Like if I wasn't a really good runner, I had nothing. People were mad at me. Like people didn't like me. Like that's why I had friends, whatever. Um,
00:40:07
Speaker
And so that was the best thing that could have happened to me. That was really long-winded. I'm so sorry. yeah But then after that, my junior and senior year, you know like it was nothing spectacular. It was very baby steps of like just you know, trying to enjoy the sport for what it is, but also like be a human outside of it. And like, like, what do I want to really take away from this? So again, like my junior year, I was pretty injured. I took off my outdoor season my junior year because I got my tonsils out. I was getting.
00:40:38
Speaker
like they were getting infected a lot so I was getting sick so they took them out and so I registered that season and then in the winter season of my senior year I got injured after the second meet that I competed at and that took me out until October like it took me out for 10 months so that lasted into the Yukon season that I um was injured from that so I was pretty injured so I didn't race much but I think that time was so valuable because like I you know obviously didn't like that I wasn't competing but it it forced me to step away and just just figure out life like Sarah why are you doing this especially the second time I got injured like I got injured the week after I asked the coaches if I could enter the transfer portal
00:41:21
Speaker
And like that's by no coincidence. I was overly stressed. I cried in their office. like I was so scared to say that and to even think about transferring. and I just needed to see like everything that was like there. I think I needed a change from Carolina. and And the coaches were so helpful. they were like I couldn't imagine like the horror stories of like people's coaches like cutting them off and like kicking them off the team because like they actually helped me every step of the way. And I would meet with them a couple times. and And they were just like, we we totally support that. We want you to be here because you want to be here. And I was like, how are you being so nice to me? But but they were they were just they were absolutely amazing about it. And I still like the week after I was injured because I was so stressed. My body was so tense. Like stress hiding in your body is so real. and
00:42:10
Speaker
So um ah I think that time was really important because you know ah being so injured, like especially like my last week of Carolina, the my the week I was graduating was the most fun I had because I just decided to like live like just let myself live and and not worry about cross training and getting great sleep. i just i i I sat with my friends and I hung out with the Run Club and I loved them so much and I got to just appreciate them and and I hung out with all my different types of friends and I just let myself be a person. and it's just it's been ah It was a long time before that then I let myself really do that. So that was like probably my most fun week of undergrad. and
00:42:57
Speaker
So I think it was really important to learn that from those injuries. And now I've become like a whole person. And now that I'm at UConn, I get to apply everything that I learned at Carolina, all the hard, hard lessons that I got to learn at Carolina. Thank you so much for sharing all of that, Sarah. There's just, there's so many powerful lessons and everything that you went through that I think we could probably have about three more podcasts on all of this. And you know, maybe we will, but overall, like, where you kind of finished off there with talking about how that kind of last week at UNC, you really just had fun and enjoyed life and recognize that that's what leads to more success than, you know, constantly being stressed about what's going to happen next. And I think that's a
00:43:52
Speaker
That's a major value to have. And it's something that I know has taken a long time for me to learn. And I think there's a huge value in having balance in your social life, like being able to go and enjoy things with friends and family and still do the things that you need to do to be your best self as an athlete and as a student. And when you have so many things to do,
00:44:19
Speaker
It can be really hard to do that, but it is so, so important to help you just enjoy what you're doing. You know, like actually enjoy the racing, actually enjoy the environment that you're in. So I think that's <unk> just a great lesson. Yeah, totally.
00:44:41
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. I feel like throughout your story, one thing that kind of came up a lot of times was just learning to find the balance where you're having fun with it while also competing at a really high level. And it seemed like for a lot of the beginning of your college career, that was kind of a struggle that kind of led you to bang your head against the wall, being frustrated, feeling like you're not hitting your potential in these races. ah But you mentioned that towards the end of your time at UNC, you really started to just find that enjoyment and
00:45:20
Speaker
In your day-to-day life now, like how are you applying that? How do you continue to find that balance while also making sure you're getting your sleep and your recovery and everything? Yeah. Even my last two years at Carolina, I feel like I barely competed. It was really mostly just two indoor races.
00:45:45
Speaker
my junior year and then I was just injured for the rest of them. ah So yeah, actually coming up this season will be the first time I i race in a year now. But um what I learned was ah just like how to find happiness in that like daily life without having those high hits of racing constantly to evaluate like how you're doing and to just even just like trust yourself and be like yeah like I just feel fit right now and I don't need like this outside marker to tell me if I am or I'm not like um especially when I couldn't even run for a really long time um
00:46:25
Speaker
I stopped using that and also what was really helpful like not being able to physically compete like I came into UConn still walk jogging still you know biking and swimming all the time and these girls enjoyed my presence and made me feel so welcomed without stepping on the line for them once and without even being on normal runs with them until most of the way through my fall semester there, you know, and learning that lesson was so huge because I feel like it's been so long since I have had that concrete of evidence that like I obviously bring more than just
00:47:11
Speaker
racing or like a good vibe on a run like I, cause I couldn't, I physically couldn't do that. And so how else I do that is by just, I don't know, like.
00:47:24
Speaker
enjoying like my hobbies. I think something that allowed me to enjoy it more was that I recently switched to Lexapro too. I was on Zoloft for probably two years. It's an antidepressant for those who don't know or or an anti-anxiety which I have more anxiety than depression I would say but I just switched to Lexapro and it was really helpful for me because like I just feel like that deep breath like just like a little bit edge off of what I do every day it's a little bit easier to get out of bed and so I'm able to enjoy these hobbies that I've always enjoyed but you know since struggling with depression and anxiety like I just wasn't able to take as much enjoyment out of so
00:48:06
Speaker
Also, that's really helped my journey here at UConn be able to sew or put on makeup or play Minecraft with my 10-year-old niece. so That's how I've really found like such rich joy in life. That's so important. and It's so important that you know you're able to
Transition to UConn and Future Aspirations
00:48:24
Speaker
talk about those things. and uh find that those are things that help you like you have found a medication that works for you and you've also been able to find that when you take that you're able to do the things that you love and find that again and I think there's so much value in that and I think it's also you know as you were kind of talking about it
00:48:52
Speaker
I kind of saw a full circle moment from when we you know first started talking about your journey through high school and how you were running so angry and so afraid of not reaching your own previous set expectations. And now it's like in how you struggled with that through a lot of undergrad, but now it's It's almost like you've completely, I don't want to say full circles and you went back to that, but you went back to that original, when you first started running in middle school, just that love. And it's less about you know everybody looking at you and the success that you get from it, but just literally going out there and doing it and being with people and loving it. And that can bring you a lot of success.
00:49:49
Speaker
but you're less tied to, your your value isn't tied to the success that you have in the sport. Yeah, totally.
00:50:02
Speaker
Yeah, i it's I don't know. It's just it's been really special. And yeah, I'm definitely really open about taking medication and seeing a sports psych because those things are really important to me. And they've personally like just changed my life and allowed me to just like take a deep breath and sit back and like figure out what's the next step to do? Like, how do I go from here? Because yeah, like,
00:50:29
Speaker
I felt like I was in shambles for a long time and like I just felt so deeply frustrated. and um you know like now like especially in this first semester at UConn I'm starting to not feel that way anymore and you know it was it was really nice it was actually I was talking to my therapist like a little bit after I switched to Lexapro too um and I was like man like I'm actually doing pretty good right now like it's it's great and she was like yeah like through all the conversations that we've had um uh
00:51:06
Speaker
you know you've been really frustrated you've been like this and that for a long time but you never even talked about giving up like you always just like we're trying to find ways to work through it and that's like it just really shows like the progress that you're making and that that was like also a full circle moment so yeah like i I think you're right like I have finally been getting back to like more of that like just genuine love for the sport because when I joined it like I didn't know all of this was gonna happen you couldn't have told me that by my junior year like five years later or whatever I was gonna
00:51:39
Speaker
get a national record in high school, like I would have never known. So it was it's just and now I just I'm very thankful to be able to start at Ground Zero um and just be a runner and just be a part of this team and be a person. And yeah, well, I'm excited for you because I think you're going to have an amazing track season, just enjoying everything and having fun with it. So I'm excited to see where that take takes you. ah But also, like thank you with your transition to UConn, I feel like from just the time at UNC to UConn, this is like outside of running, but it it seems like almost your goal is a little bit towards what you wanted to do with life outside of sport has kind of changed. so
00:52:37
Speaker
Now that you've had some time at UConn, now that you've graduated college, like what are you give us some insights on like what are your like future career aspirations and like where do you want to go in the future?
00:52:54
Speaker
Yeah so currently I got my bachelor's degree at Carolina in environmental science and then now I'm working at my master's in sports management and so I am I love the idea of everything like sport related I'll do anything you know I'm hoping to get like an internship over the summer um you know, and something management wise, but um I would love to find a way to blend the two. um My environmental science degree, sustainability, I love the idea about how sports can bring people together and really develop a community. And then obviously, like, you know, be more sustainable, like emphasize walkability and
00:53:39
Speaker
whatever, whatever, how those two cross, like I'm not 100% sure yet, but that's like i what I would, I would be really interested in. And then also, I would also be interested in, um, coaching more youth. Like I love the sport, but I'm also okay with kind of taking a step back from such a high level. Like whenever I'm done, like, and decide to retire.
00:54:02
Speaker
competing to teach kids because I helped my brother coach his daughter's ah basketball team and you know as a as just an older girl excited to play sports you could watch the impact that I had on them like immediately they're 10 and you know they're just playing this game and I run up to them and try to dribble the ball and they try to get it for me and you can just see how excited they are and and their confidence grow if you watch them like they're timid in the corner and then you say you got it girl and they like you can like see it on their face and so it's just so rewarding to like watch them and just see myself and all my my teammates in these people and they're just like girls and
00:54:49
Speaker
you know, it's it's sweet. And so those are two things that I would really be interested in doing when I'm older. I absolutely love that. I think that especially girls at that age, like, lack a lot of confidence, but having someone who has been through college athletics to be such a positive and female role model in their lives is so empowering.
00:55:14
Speaker
ah And I think especially for runners too, you can really see the way running has helped a lot of people build confidence. And so I love the idea of you continuing to be able to give that to others, the next generation. Yeah, I think you have so much value to add in coaching. and finding a way to add in your environmental degree with that, too. I think there's there's so much opportunity. And with youth, it's it's so important. And we need really great youth coaches. And we need youth coaches who are female and focusing on coaching young girls because that is also a major problem. And I think the statistic is that
00:56:04
Speaker
66% of girls when they hit pre booty quit sports. So having Yeah, yeah, it's very high and I may even be off but I feel like I was just listening to a podcast like yesterday that gave me that number.
00:56:21
Speaker
um So, yeah there's so much value in having like a good female influence, and I think up up through high school as well, I mean, there's always, yeah. There is. i One of the big things I was looking for when I decided that I wanted to go into the transfer portal was I did really want a woman coach. you know i realized like ah For my whole life, I've had a male coach, you know starting with my father. And while I loved that, I just simply wanted somebody, like I don't know, who almost got it, you know who I'm not afraid to say. like To no fault of any man that's ever coached me, but I'm not afraid to say, like oh my gosh.
00:57:05
Speaker
my period is killing me right now to you know coach Sullivan and she's just like laughs and she's just like yeah like it's hard you know I don't know it's just that like that was really important to me when I was looking for schools and and I love having a woman coach and I get to just look up to her and I just appreciate it I don't know Yeah, absolutely. Especially with what you were talking about too, about the like your body starting to change in your freshman year of college and not really knowing how to respond to that or why that was happening. Exactly. um I think that like having more women who have been through sport and who know that you come out on the other side of that so much stronger.
Support from Female Coaches
00:57:53
Speaker
um Because a lot of I think a lot of people struggle with feeling confused during that time and just wanting to get back to the way they were in high school, whatever that might be. um And speaking of your switch to UConn,
00:58:09
Speaker
It's definitely been a lot of change for you in the past year. If you look at a year ago, you were finishing up um at UNC. What do you think has been your biggest shift in perspective since moving back up North, starting a new school and everything?
00:58:29
Speaker
You know, I mean, Alex, I know I've already talked to you about this in the past and and you'll really get this, but you know, I felt really knocked down by the time I started my senior year at Carolina and it felt like I had to dust my knees off again and stand up and take a deep breath and say, sometimes it takes four years and that's okay. And that was the motto that I kind of started using through that year. And then I got injured again by the early,
00:58:54
Speaker
parts of indoor I was just injured again and I was just out of it and then you know I realized that that was the last time I was competing in the Carolina uniform and that was that was a little hard and so it was hard being like wow like I guess it'll take five years then because I'm nowhere near competing you know I didn't do anything for the whole month of March because I was just injured and ah so I simply like took a deep breath and like you know one time i saw just somewhere online um it was this random man speaking but the one thing i took away from it was just champions stay in the game long enough to win you know sometimes like yeah you get studs that start just like cranking it out their freshman year of college whatever like but sometimes like you just simply stay in the game long enough to win
00:59:48
Speaker
And so that's what has really helped me and um be like, okay, like it doesn't matter how much time has gone by. It doesn't matter what's happened. like Just keep going. like Sometimes it just takes a while. And then the other quote that my coach just said in a meeting with the whole team was just, you are what you give. And I just, I loved that one so much because It totally took away all performance, all snapshots, and like what you do for racing. It's just how you live your life is what you get.
01:00:23
Speaker
like and i just I've loved this through the pursuit of trying to hit those flashy times. And I've, I don't know, started to be just like a really good person. And I am really genuine. And now I love who I am, you know. I love that. And I feel like that's such an important piece of it is loving yourself for who you are and not the times that you run or the, you know, your stats or whatever it is, like just
01:00:56
Speaker
keeping your identity away
Advice for Future Athletes
01:00:58
Speaker
from your sport. Like you are a person outside of your sport. You can still be successful in your sport. You can still keep showing up in your sport without your identity being completely tied to it. So with that being said, this is the last like pressing question I have for you, but What is the biggest piece of an advice you would give to athletes who athletes runners, you know, you can make it applicable how you feel, but who are about to go into college athletics?
01:01:39
Speaker
Yeah, that's so hard because it was just such a whirlwind. It will actually challenge you in every way. Like I went into college and was like, oh yeah, like people play it's hard, but it won't be for me. Like I'm just tough. It won't be for me. um And I know you guys have hit on that multiple times in your podcast and you know, I i feel it too. So the piece of advice that I would give
01:02:09
Speaker
Yeah, that is really hard. um I guess just like never stop asking questions because no one like in reality, like nobody expects you to know what's going on. Every time I look at the freshmen, I just see these young faces and I you know see like what I used to assume, be like, yeah, like I can do it, like whatever.
01:02:36
Speaker
and ego and everything and I just you know feel like how clueless I was again like I have those feelings of how like deep down like I had no idea what was going on and so you know like find those genuine people and like do not be afraid to ask questions like actually people love helping other people for the most part. oh like Genuinely, like I think more people than you realize actually really enjoy when you you know ask for a silly pencil or ask for a little advice on a race or just say that you're nervous and they can help you. They want to, um especially like going into college athletics, I'm assuming that your team culture is really good and your teammates will want to help you.
01:03:23
Speaker
Oh so just continually ah asking for help and making those friendships and even asking for help from your high school coaches too like just being like this is really hard what do you think I should do you know like even if they don't know like they can just still like help I don't know I guess so hopefully that's like super deep and profound as I would want it to be but just ask for help I guess it's simple Yeah, absolutely. I think also asking for help really like helps to forge those connections with your older teammates. Like you said, they want to help you. um And just having that newbie mindset, being willing to learn from those who have been around the track a few more times is huge.
01:04:08
Speaker
no Yeah, so so yeah i mean I think that's so important and you guys both know me and you know that I will ask the question and I will say the thing that needs to be said. But honestly like I was given this piece of advice when I was in seventh grade and I have never forgotten it but and never assume because it makes an ass out of you a and me, which spells assume. So I am always the person who is going to ask the freaking question. like i am I want to know the right answer. I don't want to just assume that something is right or wrong. And I think that's made a big impact on
01:05:03
Speaker
relationships and everything.
Closing and Gratitude
01:05:05
Speaker
So I love the asking a question advice. I think that's great advice.
01:05:13
Speaker
Thanks. Absolutely. Well, Sarah, as you said, you are what you give. And I think from what you've said today, you've really shown how much work you put into the sport, but also I think you've given so much to the people around you. And that is a huge part of who you are also. So thank you so, so much for being here today. We really appreciate you sharing your story and it was so much fun.
01:05:41
Speaker
Thank you so much for having me. Thank you so much for being here, Sarah. Just so truly inspired by your story and the time you put in to just really go through everything. I think there's so much room for you to come on here and share even more in the future for sure because there's so many more things that I've been to.
01:06:05
Speaker
by For today, that's all we've got for you guys. So please leave a review and comment if you have any future topics you would like us to cover. Also, don't forget to follow us on social media at NatSportPrep. Thanks, guys.