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The Ugly Side of Influencing
98 Plays4 months ago
Influencing isn’t always cute outfits, pretty feeds, and brand deals.
In this candid episode of The Influencer Sisterhood, Lauren and Leslie pull back the curtain on the ugly side of influencing—the rude comments, unsolicited opinions, and moments that make you question why you ever put yourself out there in the first place.
We’re talking openly about:
- The reality of receiving hurtful or judgmental comments
- Why rude comments say more about the commenter than they do about you
- How to stop taking it personally (even when it stings)
- What actually helps when negativity starts messing with your confidence
- Practical advice for influencers navigating criticism, hate, or comparison
If you’ve ever read a comment and thought, “Should I quit?”—this episode is for you. Consider it a reminder that you’re not alone, you’re not doing it wrong, and you don’t have to let negativity silence you.
As always, we wrap up with Sister Shoutouts, highlighting two accounts we’re loving this week:
✨ Lola Marie
✨ Lizzie Loves Lux
Grab your coffee, take a deep breath, and let’s talk about the parts of influencing no one warns you about—but everyone experiences.
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Transcript
Introduction to Influencer Sisterhood
00:00:06
Speaker
Hey, I'm Leslie. Hi, I'm Lauren. And we're Influencer Sisterhood. Your weekly coffee date for real, unfiltered conversations about life as a midlife influencer.
00:00:17
Speaker
Hey sisters, welcome another episode of the and everything in between this is safe space where all influencers belong so grab your drink get comfy welcome to this sister true let's dive in into this week's
00:00:41
Speaker
welcome to another episode of the influencer sisterhead lauren and i chat every day via Marco
The Dual Sides of Influencing
00:00:47
Speaker
Polo. And we were literally just chatting yesterday about this very subject and we realized, why are we not recording a podcast? Because we want this podcast to always be real with the good and the not so good of being an influencer. We knew we had to record this right away while this topic was fresh on our minds. And that topic is the ugly side of influencing.
00:01:11
Speaker
Most of what you see on social media in general is the highlight reel. And that is especially true with influencing. And while we don't want to complain because the good definitely outweighs the bad, as with anything, there are always pros and cons. So Lauren, share with us what you have recently experienced with some negative
Handling Negative Feedback
00:01:32
Speaker
comments.
00:01:32
Speaker
Well, you know, okay So let me start by saying negative comments. I've had a difference of opinion about this, or I've had an opinion about it for two years since I've been doing this, and they've never really bothered me. And I really haven't gotten that many. And I find that in general, the Instagram, which is the majority of what I do in terms of that platform is not really as bad as others. I have kind of always felt like, you know, it's just, it's never about me. It's always about them or whoever, if anybody ever asks me my opinion about that, they're like, oh I don't know if I could ever do that because you know, the, the negative comments, I just don't know that I could handle it. And I'm like, you know, I really don't get that many of them. And truly it's, it's not about us. And then
00:02:19
Speaker
It does become about us So it's really, it's not so much, it's never really still about us, but what's happened for me recently is, um and it's twofold, it's a good and bad, right? And with everything good, there's always going to be some bad. And with everything bad, there's always going to be some good. um But I have found that recently I've been getting a really ton of just ugly,
00:02:44
Speaker
mean, mean-spirited, personal attacks, just ludicrous things. I mean, just, which is when you know, you're like, this cannot possibly be about me. Like this is insanity.
Brand Collaborations and Audience Impact
00:02:55
Speaker
However, it's just the massive amounts. And it's because the i am being pushed out. my My content is being pushed out to people who didn't wouldn't normally follow me. And it's mainly on Facebook. um And I will say with a caveat that I am very grateful because The reason this is happening is as a result of something that ultimately is a very good thing.
00:03:23
Speaker
One is that I have been working with a new platform and on that platform, I have received some, I have started working with Mavely. Mavely is the platform, sorry. I have started working with Walmart and that's been fantastic. um They also have reached out and wanted to utilize some of my content that I've made and run ads behind it, which is fantastic. But what that means is it's being shown to places and people who don't follow me and maybe never would. um And they're trying. The audience is much, much bigger, which also allows for.
00:04:04
Speaker
a different type of person. Right. These aren't people going out looking for midlife fashion lifestyle influencers. These are people who are just showing up. Right. It's just showing up.
00:04:17
Speaker
Yeah. Like it's just, they're just on doing whatever they do on Facebook and this is popping up. And And I'm getting you know messages, what what the hell are you doing in my messenger? Why are you in my blah, blah, blah? It's your fault that Facebook showed it to Okay, well, first of all, and so then I'm like, well, I'm only in your messenger because you commented on my content.
00:04:44
Speaker
So that I know firsthand. and And because I am not like, this is me, and we can get into the details of that later of how it actually happens, because I think... Many of us, I know I didn't until, and I've been doing this two years and it's just since July and we're recording this in September, beginning of September.
00:05:03
Speaker
This is all new to me because this has not happened for me before. So I know that there are a lot of us out there in the influencer space who have not experienced this yet in terms of that their content, our content being utilized in a way that, you know, you always hear when people say, you know, we'd like to um retain the rights, usage rights for your content that you create, which is fine. And you should be charging for that. Okay. And i am being compensated for it.
00:05:32
Speaker
However, ah with that, with that comes this, and you have no control over how this content is being used. Okay. Or how often, Well, right, because for people that don't know, because I'm fairly new to it, however, I do come from a background that I do know ads a little bit.
00:05:50
Speaker
But if and a brand is setting up an ad for you, then they're in control of the audience they pick to have that piece of content show up for.
00:06:04
Speaker
So that's the piece you don't have control over. No, and I don't have control over what exactly... they're doing with the content. For example, right I might have a reel with multiple items from Walmart. Okay. And I'm not picking on Walmart. That just happens to be this case, but this could be with anybody because it happened with a toothbrush issue. I yeah i did a toothbrush night collaboration. I did a cola test, which is not ColaGuard, but it's cola test. And I'm a colon cancer survivor. If you don't, most people know that, but if you don't out there, I am. And so in conjunction with colorectal cancer month, I had a campaign that was a paid campaign for me. And I felt very strongly about that because I'm i'm all about early detection. I am not all about don't get a colonoscopy, just have this COLA test.
00:06:56
Speaker
No, that's not what I said. um you yeah right Those are the comments. like it's as if you she First of all, like that I was a paid actress. No, I'm not. i actually am a colon cancer survivor. And no colon cancer survivor would say ever advocate for not having colonoscopies.
00:07:12
Speaker
well, that's not what was said. And if if she really cared, she would have said, get a colonoscopy.
Audience Misconceptions and Exposure
00:07:19
Speaker
Well, you know, this is for Colatest. That's a brand. And they are not going to lead with get a colonoscopy because they'd like you to use or to use the colon test. Right. And the colon test is appropriate in certain circumstances. Right. If you cannot have a colonoscopy. If you aren't going to have a colonoscopy because you refuse to do it, but you'll do this. Any screening is better than no screening. Right. But like the hate that came from that. And it was like, oh my gosh, you know, and how I was irresponsible and it becomes very personal.
00:07:51
Speaker
Right. And of all things, I'm like, okay, first of all, don't get on me with the colon cancer irresponsibility because I literally okay, Every single post that I make says, hashtag get a colonoscopy because i will that's what saved my life. I fully believe if I had i not had a colonoscopy. so But the point is, this is what happens. And it's it's good because you do get exposure. It's wonderful. But getting back to the Walmart situation. So I did a campaign, showed multiple items, right?
00:08:25
Speaker
And if you follow me, you saw this reel and the reel was great. I had a lot of great feedback. And when you comment and ask for a link to be sent to you, it will be sent to you. And everything that i am wearing in that reel is available and linked to like available for you to look at. Like, I don't know if it's still in stock, but it, you can, if you wanted the cardigan, it's going to be linked. If you wanted the shoes or the earring, they're all linked.
00:08:58
Speaker
Well, when Walmart does it, they're running an ad specifically for in this one instance, because they take that same content and multiple and and do multiple iterations of it for a different purpose. This audience, they're targeting the cardigan. This audience, they're targeting the shoes. This audience, they're targeting the whatever. And it's one item that they link to. Because if you follow me, you're more likely to click on a link and want to see all the things that I have curated for you in this experience, right?
00:09:29
Speaker
They're not going after those people. They're going after the people who see an item and they're like, oh, I want that dress. Let me click on it, which is great, except they're seeing all the other items. And so people are commenting, well, where's the link for the for the shoes?
00:09:44
Speaker
Or where's everything else? And they get indignant, right? Because they're not followers of mine, but they're like, she's ignoring us. And blah, blah, blah, blah. She must not care. And it's like, first of all, I didn't even know that was out there to even respond to. So so there's that. Even though it's your content, it's not your post.
00:10:03
Speaker
Correct. and it And the links don't go to me. They go to a separate place because I have agreed to to let them for a fee, they could do what they wanted with the with the content. And it's what they're doing with the content is
Coping with Online Negativity
00:10:19
Speaker
not wrong.
00:10:20
Speaker
It's no very smart, it's very wise, and they're very strategic, and it's great. And I am getting a lot of followers from it, and I am getting, people you know, it it's there's a lot of positivity, and I'm being compensated for it.
00:10:34
Speaker
However, there are people who, because it's my name, They think they're on my account right and I'm seeing this and i I'm either ignoring them or they're just trolls who are like, why in the hell did you ever like, you know, somebody said, why did you, why are you? ah That was it. Why are you in and my messenger?
00:10:59
Speaker
So, but the, the wondering, like the first level of this is that, People want the link to multiple things in the post, but Walmart's not necessarily showcasing that. And they're getting mad because they think it's you and you're not answering. But then there's a whole nother level to this where there's just Can I say assholes on the air? don't know. but Just assholes. We'll just, but they we'll have the E um explicit will be our, our category or whatever. That's our rating. That's fine. Cause you know, we we've been known Leslie more so than I, however, yes, however, and if you hear that, I apologize. Woody is pushing around a bone on the floor and it's loud. So that um so if you hear it,
00:11:45
Speaker
Okay. But, but yes, so those are comments that are things such as, let's see. and give us Give us some examples because here's the thing. for i be up you when You're looking for examples. yeah Well, what i was going to say is for anybody out there listening who wants to be in this space and wants to be an influencer, again, the good outweighs the bad, but we also don't want someone to end up, you know, doing all this hard work because it is work, and then all of a sudden be torn down by some jerk on the internet. So by sharing what Lauren is currently going through, and I mean, truth be told, we're all human and it does hurt your feelings, but I think being equipped with the fact that it's inevitably going to happen, and this is a little sort of example of what can happen, might prepare you a little bit more
00:12:36
Speaker
than just having it happen and not knowing it, you know, not knowing it happens. Also, just to let you know, it happens to everybody. Everybody. If you do not see a negative comment on a big influencer's account, chances are they deleted it. Okay. So don't think it's just you getting these comments.
00:12:55
Speaker
Everybody, I think, gets them. Yes, they do. and but well i just clicked in here and got something that said my content was removed because it was reported. Because somebody who said something really hateful to me said, why are you in my feed? And I, or why are you in my, my messenger? And I said, well, it's because the only reason you did it is because you used a word that triggered a message to be sent to you because you commented on a post.
00:13:24
Speaker
Well, her comment was rude. And she says, I'm reporting you. oh god And like, but literally yeah we can be canceled. Like our accounts will be to taken down while they figure it out. Like right it happens. And that means no money as an, as an influence. I mean, because you've lost.
00:13:44
Speaker
Right. So I'm, I'm getting to it. I'm sorry. I got to find it. It's like, because that, because it's not that easy to find. Here's the thing. Like I'm searching for it right now. It doesn't just pop up to me.
00:13:56
Speaker
Right. It's yeah not a post. There's a big difference. Correct. And so I don't know if this is the one or not, but this is one where once somebody said, oh, because so here was somebody said something. It doesn't sound that awful when I say it like this. um But it's like, as I said, something like, I don't know if I am walking through Walmart.
00:14:17
Speaker
I've seen these tops. I don't know if I can do them. What do y'all think? Yay or nay? And somebody's like, then don't. Jeez. So that was that. I'm like, OK. And then she got a message. Because she commented. i She's probably mad because she didn't want the message. Right. and um But this isn't the one let me find the one. This is the one in the red dress where somebody, yeah then here's also camo pants that got got a lot of tattoo. But here's the thing.
00:14:47
Speaker
First of all, I wish we had a psychologist on this episode because what is it about someone that makes them want to take time out of their day?
00:14:58
Speaker
To stop what they're doing type out, this is so ugly or whatever they're posting. are ugly. Okay, so but that was going to be my point. There's one thing, would never do it regardless, but it's one thing to comment on the dress because the person in the dress didn't make the dress.
00:15:18
Speaker
So there's a level of, you know, i don't know, you're your' one degree removed or whatever. But then when they take it to, you look ugly in the dress, Like now we're getting like, I mean, why, why would you do that? i just, what, what do you, what does the commenter get out of that? Like, do they feel good about the story? It's a very good question. i you know, they must feel some sense of power.
00:15:43
Speaker
I'm still looking because I, um, ah Let's see, maybe this is one because they just started running again, a separate ad that must be to a different audience with an outfit that I've already had multiple comments. So I clicked on it thinking that was one of them, but it's not because it's only got three comments. And that is because it's brand new, but it's the same content. It's going to a new audience. um Well, you get the, okay, so this is, this person was lovely. That the dresses are too short and the colors that you have with the camouflage pants don't match at all.
00:16:14
Speaker
Okay. Well, that was nice. Um, let's see. Um, keep talking cause I'm coming. did that I mean, you know, like did that make her feel good?
00:16:26
Speaker
Did she like have a better day because she was able to cut somebody down? Like it has to be an internal, I mean, again, I'm no psychologist, but it has to be like an internal thing. within that person. But that doesn't discount the fact that it still hurts your feelings. i'll be Okay. So I will tell a quick story because i just do. I love looking because i it it um I should have pulled this up beforehand and I did not. i did not personally I'm not big enough to have a brand even pay me for anything, much less run an ad. but But hopefully the day is coming, right? But the very one of the very first posts I ever made as a quote unquote influencer, because I hate that word, but you know what I mean? um I had on denim shorts, like cut off denim shorts and like a sweater vest from Amazon. And somebody said, you look sloppy.
00:17:20
Speaker
And so yeah no no no it didn't say you look sloppy. It just said sloppy. And I went, what do you mean? which opened a can of worms. So I learned not to go back, but whatever. So it opened can of worms and she goes, well, your hair's about five inches too long. It's too frizzy. Your jean shorts are completely um not age appropriate and sloppy. You look like a mess. Well, my friends got a hold
Turning Negativity into Constructive Experiences
00:17:48
Speaker
of it. Like my actual, like I've been friends with these people since we were born friends. And they were like,
00:17:54
Speaker
And I did not know they were doing this, but they so went back at this woman. And listen, that woman had nothing to say after that. I didn't have to say a word. i just let my friends take care of it. So definitely get some friends that will go to bat for you because that made me feel better.
00:18:11
Speaker
it it does. You also, I will say, when you work with brands, you also agree not to make certain comments. Right. You can't go back in a rude way or you're going to like mess with your brand, like negotiables or whatever. Okay. So this, this one, how did I get to this page?
00:18:33
Speaker
Question mark, exclamation point. Okay. Whatever. Those are people that clearly don't know anything about social media. Right. And then, um okay, I'm getting to it. Where,
00:18:46
Speaker
Let's see. why not The one where the person said that you you look, I don't know the adjective. that one ah somebody one of them said, um because it said that I was 54.
00:18:57
Speaker
and some And then there were lots of, if she's 54, then I'm athletic. That was some some dude said that. If she's 54, then athletic. Okay. Well, first of all, you have no photo. You have no photo, so nobody knows.
00:19:14
Speaker
Okay. Then there was one, there was a dude who, um, said that my, um, He couldn't get that clearly he went on this whole thing because I was a retired special ed teacher, right? Retired special ed teacher. You can retire in education at with certain reviews. And that doesn't mean we're drawing retirement. Like I'm so clearly still working. I worked for 23 years as a teacher.
00:19:41
Speaker
i am, it you know, I've retired from special ed. That does not mean anything. Well, then it was like, well, clearly we're paying teachers and I've always said we're paying teachers entirely too much money because, and then he goes off on this whole thing. And then somebody says, um, somebody says that I look, um, you look like you're MAGA in that.
00:20:04
Speaker
Like they then turn it into make America great. I don't know. I'm like, i'm not quite sure
Advice for New Influencers
00:20:10
Speaker
what that even means. Like, like,
00:20:14
Speaker
What does that have to do? First of all, what does it have do with anything? Like, and what are you trying to say? And then, yeah. And then somebody says, why are you yelling? And I'm like, well, probably because I taught for 23 years, it's just automatic. like You know, but it's like, oh God, where is the one with the dude? I should probably go to my own page because I shared it there.
00:20:39
Speaker
The problem right now is that they're running new ads. And so I don't know, maybe they've, they may have taken down the other ads. That's quite possible. yeah That's possible. They don't, they don't last forever. i mean, that's true. I may not be able to find these comments.
00:20:55
Speaker
Okay. So let me ask you this for, for listeners out there listening, we don't want this to discourage people from putting themselves out there, being an influencer, sharing what you love. So as someone that has gone through this, what is your advice to a brand new influencer for handling these types of situations? Because inevitably they're going to happen.
00:21:19
Speaker
Well, I would say if it happens on... If it's actually your page, right? You've posted something, someone just comes out of nowhere and you've shown up on their explore page um in or for you or whatever in Instagram or whatever.
00:21:38
Speaker
And they say something ugly. You know, first thing is, remember, it's not about you. Second thing is it's your page and you can block them. And I would block them. I also...
00:21:50
Speaker
We'll take a screenshot and I will go right on up into my stories and say, what is wrong with this person? Because like, because if you're going to leave an ugly comment, I'm going to call you out. And here's why. what And this is the problem is I'm not able to do that in these other situations. okay And that's what makes it hard. But for most people, this is going to be the situation.
00:22:12
Speaker
You one, want people to know you're going to call them out. And it's, these are not people who, are going to get a lot of um like traction from it. because you don't like Don't get into ah an argument with them in your comments.
00:22:31
Speaker
you can say, well, aren't, and I'll say something like, to I will usually comment back and say, wow, aren't you a ray of sunshine on this beautiful day? And then i will block them. I'll give them enough chance to see it. And then I'll block them. So then they don't see that I'm blasting them because I don't want them to get the thrill that they got. don't want to open it up to back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. because they're and You do want to set the boundary that this is not going to be tolerated. Right. And I, and also that, you know, I'm going to say how sad is this person? Like this is what this says to me is how miserable it must be. And that's what I usually say, how miserable it must be to live inside this person's head. If this is what they do, that is just miserable.
00:23:16
Speaker
And that's it. And I want people to know that that's what I take from it. It's not, oh my God, what's wrong with me? And it, because that's really, it's not about me. But what happens is when it's over time and it's the magnitude and when I don't, feel and I think that's a big part of it is I don't feel like I can,
00:23:37
Speaker
fully take control of and the narrative when it's in an ad. Um, but I normally would and just nip it in the bud and block the people. I mean, these people aren't following me anyway. So blocking them, they're not, they're just over here spewing hate.
00:23:54
Speaker
That's just, you know, but when my problem was, I felt like, I needed to go and make sure there weren't people asking for legitimate questions that it looked like I wasn't answering them because I try very hard and have always prided myself on being someone who acknowledges DMs from people, who acknowledges comments.
00:24:19
Speaker
I will voice message people back. I will give video messages back, like in DMs. I want people to feel like they're a part of us of of a community and to feel heard and seen. So in my effort to be sure i wasn't making anybody feel not that way,
00:24:39
Speaker
I would have to read through all the disgusting, miserable, hum you miserable you're ugly,
The Role of Self-Care and Personal Boundaries
00:24:46
Speaker
you look like shit in that dress, um fix your hair, what's wrong with you? you know who the hell would wear that? Look at that ugly, wrinkled skin on her neck. I mean, you know just mean, right? like And it hasn't it whatever. like they And the men who say, ah she looks like she's Okay. Now, if you just said, maybe I look like I'm 58, I could buy it.
00:25:12
Speaker
But like when you're ludicrous, i you truly know it's not real. But what happens is when it's the magnitude of those things, that's when it started to weigh on me and I started finding myself not wanting to shoot anything, not wanting to film, not wanting to show up on my stories, not wanting like, just not even wanting to open the app, not even wanting to do anything. And it was like, whoa, for me, and this is what I want you to take away from it, anybody who's listening, if you're in this experience,
00:25:46
Speaker
Pay attention to your own feelings and your reaction to it, because that says where you are. We can do nothing about everybody else. But our reaction says volumes about how we feel. And so typically my reaction has always been, oh God, how sad for that person. Like it didn't penetrate. It didn't touch me because it you know,
00:26:11
Speaker
But when I started feeling weighed down by it, it was like, whoa, what is this saying about me that I need to do to take care of myself? And so that's when it's like, okay, do I need to just ignore any comments, like even good ones over there? Just don't even, just if if I see something that's not in my general page, I'm just going to have to let it go. And if somebody chooses to think that I don't care about them because I didn't answer, there's nothing I can do about that.
00:26:38
Speaker
And because it's better for me not to see it. I do have somebody who works with me and we haven't had a chance to talk about this, but I hope, you know, maybe she can go through them periodically because it's not her they're taking it out on. It's me. And she can answer the one she needs to answer and just ignore the others because, know,
00:26:58
Speaker
It doesn't matter. They look like idiots for putting it out there. And there are people who are out there saying, who i i am so disappointed in the mean people. Like there are other people who then, who don't even know me either, who are like, God, she looks like, I'm not crazy about that outfit, but she looks great, you know, or whatever.
00:27:16
Speaker
But it's like, the key is to not ingest too much of it. Because yeah my question though, again, back to the advice, because Everybody's a little bit different. Some people have a thicker skin than others. But in general, I think to be an influencer, you do have to have a little bit of a thicker skin, right? But even with a thick skin, it can get in, it can seep in, it can make you want to maybe throw in the towel. So what is some advice to someone who may be, whether it be because of mean comments or whether it be because they're not growing the way they want to or what have you, what would your advice be to someone who maybe at times feels like giving up?
00:28:05
Speaker
I know I've felt that way. what would you say to that person, whether it be because of a mean comment or not, but you know, it's ebbs and flows of this business. Is it when the, the, the not so great side of this business becomes something that begins to weigh on you for whatever reason, I would say, and I have said this, um,
00:28:29
Speaker
One, don't give up. But two, try to figure out what it is in you that is being triggered. Because if it's that you're seeing too much of something, maybe you're ingesting too much content of other influencers who are celebrating success and you're feeling, oh God, you start feeling like I'm comparing myself. And when, so then maybe you,
00:28:54
Speaker
don't have to unfollow people if you're following them, but you could maybe hide that or just turn off the notifications for that person's content. the if it rate Yeah. If you can take a break, it can, but I would say more than take a break because the it's real easy to take a break and never come back. And that would be my fear for people.
00:29:15
Speaker
That's like working out. The day you don't work out leads to two days of not working out, leads to three days i'm not working out. Right. at A second thing, and I have done this in the past and you reminded me to do it, and I did, is to actually say out loud the things that are bothering me and say it to in in your on your account. So I went into my stories and I was like, you know I've been talking to Leslie and she's I've been you know talking about how I'm really struggling with some stuff. and And she's like, well, go talk about it. And I'm like, you know what? I don't want to talk about it. I know I should. But I don't, but I know I need to, so I'm going to. And so here's what it is. Because the truth of the matter is, because I have always been someone, i think partly being a teacher, especially of high school kids, you have to have thick skin. I mean, i can't tell you how many times. Oh, my word. And I was a teacher when I weighed 100 pounds more than I do right now. So-
00:30:13
Speaker
I endured a lot of really mean comments. And I will also say that depending on the type of content you put out, you might garner more hate than others.
00:30:26
Speaker
There are a lot of people who are very threatened by women who aren't a certain size. And, and it's because they don't feel like they could put themselves out there. And, and I think, I think that's a big part of it. Like, you know, if I'm a certain size and I feel uncomfortable in my body, how dare you be up there looking confident in your body? So I'm going to tear you down a notch. And so, you know, I think that it's, it can be much harder for people, but
00:30:58
Speaker
So if it's that is trying to understand what, what it's about and what it's triggering in you and doing what you need to do to take care of you. I also felt like,
00:31:10
Speaker
I haven't been feeling great lately. Like just in general, my like sinuses, that's why I'm like, I'm coughing, trying not to cough. My nose is running right now. If I'm talking really fast, it's cause I'm on, um, you know, like medicine that cold medicine that makes you feel like you're racing and that in and of itself, when you're worn down, things that don't normally bother you, bother you. It was also a a key to me that I'm not taking care of myself the way I need to take care of myself. And so I would suggest to anyone else, you just need to stop and think about what it is and don't give up. Because if you give up, you've lost all the good that comes from this.
00:31:56
Speaker
Because the good so far outweighs the bad. And you know for me, while it's not fun to receive these hateful, mean, disgusting, whatever comments. um it And I couldn't find all the ones to read you, the ones that were really bad.
Maintaining a Positive Influencer Identity
00:32:18
Speaker
um But
00:32:22
Speaker
if didn't go through this experience, and I would not... have the empathy for somebody else who comes to me and says, oh my God, I'm really struggling with the negativity. Because I've always said, you know, I'm really lucky. I don't get a lot of that. Well, you know what? Now I'm getting some of it. But it's the good that comes with the fact that I have a brand who's willing to put money behind my content and because it sells. And that says something about the content and where I am two years into my journey, right? Like that's a really great thing.
00:32:57
Speaker
Wonderful thing. There's also this side of it. Am I going to let this keep me from filming content when I'm getting to a place where I'm being exposed to greater to greater audiences?
00:33:11
Speaker
You know, like that's how you grow. And it everything comes with something. But if I were to say I'm throwing the towel in because I'm done, I don't want to see that. Like there's another way to put some boundaries on that. I just don't have to read it. I can just choose not to this, or I can just, you know what I'm saying? Like, I think the worst thing you can do is quit because That doesn't mean don't take care of yourself. That doesn't mean don't take a break. And like, I didn't, I made that, made those stories yesterday and it was, it could be easy for me to get in my head, which is, I know I'm long winded and it was a lot more stories. And I'm like, oh my God, I have to, I'm going into too many stories to tell this story. And it's going too many. And I'm getting all into the, if you're an influencer, you know what I mean about, you're not supposed to have too many stories in a day because then your viewership goes down and then it did it, did it, did it.
00:34:08
Speaker
It was like, it doesn't matter, Lauren. It doesn't matter. You need to say what you need to say, however you need to say it. And then I needed to say, if i know your people are going to ask me for the outfit i have on. I don't have time to make a link for it. You will see it later. If you ask me for the green sweater in response to this story, you're not going to get it. I'm just telling you right now.
00:34:29
Speaker
For me, I had to say that because I was like, my God. And I still get the, rip can I find the green sweater? I'm like, I just did a freaking reel on it. You know i mean? oh That was the other one. We could have done without the word freaking. That was what somebody was all about that I said freaking. I was like, well, actually I said freaking, but you know.
00:34:48
Speaker
Right. Well, I mean, also people are watching stories without the sound on, so they probably didn't hear you say yeah that you weren't going to share And normally knows what comes up in your, um when you put on transcription or whatever that is, right? Like when you put your closed captions, the way it does our accents, you just never know, you know?
00:35:10
Speaker
True, true. um Okay. So, but just to kind of bring it all back together, you know, to let people know listening, because again, we want this podcast to be helpful to people who are trying to be influencers, right? Because mainly because, i mean, I know I, you know, I had Lauren, but that, you know, you probably had nobody helping you at the time. i had we want to see this helpful place that you can learn. um And we don't want to discourage you from doing it. But we also want to wanted you to know that Again, there are pros and cons to everything. um It really does happen to everybody. You may not see that it's happening to everybody. So it is not personal to you if it starts happening to you. I think that's a big point.
00:35:57
Speaker
I did want to say this because Leslie has long said, i swear, I think these people get these negative comments, but I don't know why I don't see them. I think they delete them. And it was really interesting because somebody I follow who is has a much larger account than I do, who i I love her account. She reached out to me very kindly, um you know, and said, I'm I'm, you know, I'm so sorry you're, so you're getting that. I get it too. I just delete them and block them. I delete the comments and block them. And that was the first time somebody admitted they actually do that. And i was like, you can do that.
00:36:30
Speaker
Like why wonder why people don't want to admit that they do that. Do they don't do other influencers not want people to think that they get them hate? Yeah. I mean, like, is there like, but it's not about you. So why would it matter?
00:36:47
Speaker
I think you, i um i well, I can't speak to that. I can speak for me that I felt like I was being dishonest if I deleted them because they're there me.
00:36:58
Speaker
for me Right. I'm weird. You know, I'm weird. Like I, I don't, I don't ah approach influencing the way a lot of people do. I have, you know, I'm the, I'm weird, but, um, and the longer you get to know me people, you will understand I'm weird in a good way, I think, but, um, at times, but it is, i think it, for me, it's, it was that. And also I didn't want for people to think like that I was trying to,
00:37:29
Speaker
Only let people, like, i think people might not want to know that other people, like if if somebody, like it people might want to pile on that same idea of, You know, it's it's the mob mentality and you see one person be ugly and then they jump in and and there's that. It can also be you you really don't want your post to have um a whole argument between other people because that's a whole other thing that can happen and does start to happen. And so you just don't want it to be about that.
00:37:59
Speaker
And so you just get rid of it. Those would I think this is a great question that we need to remember to ask people, um especially as we get people. people to come and be guests on our podcast who have large enough followings that they and or large enough accounts in a business sense that they are in a place where they're receiving these types of things.
00:38:22
Speaker
um I think it would be interesting to ask them what the reasoning is behind it, because I think everybody might have a different reason why they do or they don't. But I will tell you, i started deleting some of them.
00:38:33
Speaker
I was like, oh, I got permission because I'm a rule follower and at heart. And it was like I was afraid that would be not okay. Go to delete. Yeah. So, there so when I found out that somebody else who's much bigger and has management representation and whatever, I'm like, oh, okay.
00:38:53
Speaker
You mean I can do that? I'll do that. But it was, but that was like going to take entirely too long and it would make me read it again and i didn't want to read it. So it's, you know, but there's that. But I do think that um you need to do what you need to do to take care
Safety and Resilience Online
00:39:11
Speaker
of you.
00:39:11
Speaker
and understand that it happens to everyone. It is not about us. They make it, people can make it extremely personal. And the more personal people make it, the more, the less it is truly about you. That's when you really know because, but let me also caution with the idea of you don't want to engage too much because the kind of people who do this are not reasonable, rational people. The majority of the population, I would venture to say 90, I'm just gonna throw out 90%.
00:39:51
Speaker
It might be higher than that. I don't know. i mean this I'm clearly not an expert at this. But I would venture to say 90% of the population would never do that, would never leave a comment.
00:40:01
Speaker
And those 10% that do, they do all sorts of things you would never imagine a person would do. They might go find you. They make what they call doxing you, right? They might find out where you live. I mean, you just don't know.
00:40:15
Speaker
And so- definitely don't want to antagonize them. Exactly. Move on. Like- Yeah. just shut it down and move on. And the truth of the matter is, is it's likely best to just say nothing.
00:40:28
Speaker
Even my little snarky, you know, you, aren't you a ray of sunshine? I know as I'm typing that, I don't feel good about myself typing that because I'm like, why am I giving them the time of day?
00:40:40
Speaker
I should just ignore it. Right. So I'm human. I've done it, you know, but Block people. And you want to talk about it in your community, you go right ahead so other people know what you're going to do with it.
00:40:55
Speaker
But then be done. That would be my best recommendation. But be careful with the crazies. Because, i mean, you don't know you don't know what they're gonna do. And you don't know that, like truly, Leslie knows this. And we can talk about it at some other time. But like, I have been in random places around this country.
00:41:14
Speaker
The chances of somebody who follows me. see running, like seeing me and then messaging me and saying, Hey, were you, I just saw you as to such and such. don't know. I'm staying at the same hotel you are like, they're the nicest people and they have no ill intent, but like, what are the chances in Alaska? I'm from South Louisiana. I'm on a cruise. There's some chick,
00:41:36
Speaker
I call her a chick. She's a very nice lady. That's terrible. I hope she doesn't take offense to that if she ever hears this. But like, you know, she recognized me. She's like, my God, she responded to a story. I just saw you on the elevator. I thought you looked familiar on a cruise in Alaska.
00:41:52
Speaker
She's from Oklahoma. Like, you just never know. So you have to be careful. just So I do want to make sure that like it's easy to say, I said this and I did that. And it's best to disengage and ignore, block, and move on because you don't know what how crazy people are. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So if people are listening out there who want to get in this business, you've had experience with negative comments, or maybe you haven't, if it comes, definitely remember this story. Definitely understand that it happens to everyone. Um, but take care of you. Like Lauren said, like your mental health is the most important thing. Um, so whatever you have to do to, um to take care of yourself, but, but keep going because there's room for everybody to succeed at this, you know, in this business. Um, and we want to see you succeed. Uh, that's why we created the sisterhood podcast.
Highlighting Influencers and Community Support
00:42:51
Speaker
Okay, this is one of our favorite parts of the show. It's time for our sister shout out. Each week, we each share a fellow influencer who is standing out. We'll tell you what she's doing so well, why her content stands out, and why you need to hit that follow button.
00:43:07
Speaker
Because supporting each other is what the sisterhood is all about. And when one of us shines, it lights the way for the rest of us. Sister shout out is just our way of just highlighting someone that we see out there, you know working hard, doing the influencing. So my person, because it very much relates to what we're talking about is Lola Marie, because let me tell you that girl can call out somebody that left a negative comment in the absolute best way possible. She is hilarious. um Her content is great, but the way she does call out people, that have left something not so nice on her channel is inspiring. It actually is.
00:43:52
Speaker
She turns it into true content. Like it is gold. What the way she, it is a, it is an art form.
00:44:04
Speaker
Yes. And she is really good at it. um And she's figured out a way to be, able to she's figured out a way to be able to do it and it live on her feed.
00:44:15
Speaker
And she still, it doesn't keep her, she doesn't ever get canceled. She still has, like she has representation, management, like brand deals. I mean, she's not, hurting herself in the way she handles it. It's all part of her brand. And I think that's important that you stay true, true to your brand in how you handle whatever it is, whatever you, however you decide to handle it.
00:44:38
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely. Good job. Really, really good job. And honestly, nice call she's she's a great follow. I love her. i I sit in the bathtub. When I first found her, i I was, Eric heard me on the other side of the house. I was laughing so hard. I was crying. And that does not happen for me very often. And so it was like, I mean, it was, it was just what I needed when I needed it. At one point in time, I was like, oh my God, I needed a good laugh. Like I needed this laugh until you cry. And it was belly gut bust in. She's good.
00:45:12
Speaker
She's really good. And she's a great content creator. So yeah that's a great shout out. I, mine is the, is not the opposite of that, but we're going to go for super small creator who I just, um, I just came across and she actually came across me and her account is called Lizzie Loves Lux. Okay. And when I tell you, you,
00:45:39
Speaker
This woman is working it. I mean, she she's a special needs mom. So she has two, te I think both of her, she has teenage kids. And I think both of them might have some learning challenges. um But I didn't know that about her until after she reached out to me.
00:45:56
Speaker
um But she reached out like in the comment section because I was doing a ah look for less on something. And she was like, oh my God, you, like she starts sending me ideas. And so my recent,
00:46:09
Speaker
um Look for Less that I did comparison reel earlier um this past week, I shouted her out because it came from her. She was like, hey, have you seen this? And oh my God, I just found it on it. Like it was so good. And I'm like, well, I'm going to use that. I have this already that she had showed me.
00:46:28
Speaker
And then she found it on Amazon. That was even better. And I'm like, well, I'm going to use it. i will absolutely. She's like, you don't have to tag me. I'm like, I'm absolutely going to tag you because you know But she she is showing up multiple times a day, every day. she I forgot what her um field is. i Maybe law?
00:46:49
Speaker
I think it's law, actually. But I mean, she decided um a couple of, I want to say maybe a month ago or so. i mean she And she's a woman after my own heart because she just started. like And if you know me, you know i preach just start, figure it out along the way. Like, do not wait until you know what you're doing because you will not and you'll never get
Conclusion on Staying True and Engaged
00:47:09
Speaker
started. Just do it and figure it out along the way. And you you will hear this a lot from a lot of people, but Posted is better than perfect.
00:47:18
Speaker
And she does a fantastic job of just doing it. And And she's like, she found out something didn't work with, there was a problem with a platform and they were like, you can't use this platform because you violated something. She didn't know what it was. She put on her attorney hat and she, she then, you know, talked to, a got that sucker fixed. And then she did the whatever, like, She just is doing and she's showing up every day and she her whole motto is pretty on purpose.
00:47:51
Speaker
She's a redhead. She's just precious. And I adore what she is doing and I adore her energy and I would... Highly recommend all of you to go follow her. All right. Well, we will put both of the sister shout outs accounts in the show notes so you guys can go follow them as well. And hopefully you'll love them as much as we do.
00:48:11
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening. We hope that you learned something. We hope that you never get negative comments. But if you do, come back to this episode and listen to it because we've been through it too. um Right. Sometimes I think it's just all about know and I mean, you don't wish this opponent somebody, but knowing someone else has gone through it does make it a little bit easier.
00:48:33
Speaker
And our DMs are always open. We have an Influencer Sisterhood account um that you are more than, it's on Instagram. Please feel free to DM us if you have any questions or any topics you think would be great for us to cover that you would, any burning questions. um That's what we're here for. You can also please be sure to follow us there. Follow each of our accounts. We would love to have you DM us there too. We are here to answer whatever questions you have and try to be those, you know, those sisters that are going to maybe a little bit farther along the road than you. And, you know, we do not gatekeep.
00:49:07
Speaker
And we'll see on the next episode of the Influencer Sisterhood. Thanks for joining. by y'all. See y'all next week. Thanks guys.