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Is it copying or influencing? - Episode 5
94 Plays4 months ago
In this episode of The Influencer Sisterhood Podcast, we’re talking about one of the most uncomfortable (and misunderstood) topics in the influencer world: copying.
It all started when Lauren received a DM accusing her of copying someone else—except… she wasn’t. That moment sparked a bigger conversation about how often this happens, why it happens, and how quickly ego can take over in an online space where trends, sounds, outfits, ideas, and formats are constantly being shared.
We dive into the reality of influencing:
✨ Multiple creators will show the same thing
✨ Trending audio exists for a reason
✨ Inspiration is not the same as imitation
✨ And not everything requires credit or a tag
We talk about when giving credit does matter, when it doesn’t, and how to navigate these situations with confidence instead of comparison. This episode is part real-life story, part mindset check, and part permission slip to stop second-guessing yourself every time you hit “post.”
If you’ve ever worried about being “too similar,” been accused of copying, or felt yourself spiraling over someone doing something that looks like your idea—this conversation is for you.
Because there’s room for all of us. And the internet doesn’t belong to just one person.
This week's Sister Shoutouts are @meeghanm and @micquelles.must.haves
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Transcript
Introduction to Influencer Sisterhood
00:00:06
Speaker
Hey, I'm Leslie. Hi, I'm Lauren. And we're the Influencer Sisterhood. Your weekly coffee date for real, unfiltered conversations about life as a midlife influencer.
00:00:17
Speaker
No gatekeeping, no fluff. We're two women at different stages of the journey, sharing the wins, the struggles, and everything in between. This is safe space where all influencers belong.
00:00:29
Speaker
So grab your drink, get comfy, welcome to the sisterhood. Let's dive in to this week's episode.
Is Inspiration Just Copying?
00:00:40
Speaker
Let's talk about something that comes up all the time in the influencer world, copying. I mean, you've seen it, right? Someone posts an outfit or an idea and the next thing you know, another influencer and sometimes even a follower does something really similar.
00:00:57
Speaker
And suddenly the first person is saying, she copied me. But here's the thing. Isn't that the point of influencing? I mean, to inspire people to try something, to buy something or style something because you showed it to them. So where exactly is that line between being copied and actually influencing?
00:01:18
Speaker
So that's what we're diving into today. The copying. Oh, my gosh. I've been through it both in the influencer world and the photography world. I think it kind of comes and goes. Like there's like a at least in the photography world, there was a time where it was like, she's copying me. She's copying me. She's copying me. um And then it kind of phases out. And right now it is way in the influencer world because the other day Lauren and I started chatting because I saw an influencer post in her channel that someone was copying her.
The Myth of Originality
00:01:53
Speaker
My take on it is probably a little controversial and not like what most people think because I don't believe any idea is original. So the person claiming copy most likely copied somebody else if you really got down to it. Now, they might not want to admit that, but that is my personal take on it. What do you think?
00:02:17
Speaker
Well, I think, let me just say, i have been on both ends of this, I think. Yeah, me too. And I have thought to myself,
00:02:30
Speaker
like, that's my line. That's my phrase or that's my whatever, right? And the truth of the matter is I don't own that. And unless I want to register and trademark it, I might as well say shut my mouth, number one. Number two, I also know that I follow ton of influencers and the average Joe does not. Okay. But we all do in the influencer world. So if you're listening to this, chances are your feed is nothing but influencers and you're seeing everybody show the same things because guess what? They're trends, right? Like trend. And what? A trend is trend. And back for made more than one. the chances of multiple people having that item are pretty high. Well, and I actually will say when Leslie said it, I was like, I forgot what I was doing that day, but I was doing something and I wasn't like
Personal Tales of Copying
00:03:25
Speaker
chatting for a while. So I was a little late to the party.
00:03:28
Speaker
And then I'm like, what are we talking about? And then I went and looked and everything inside of me, because I follow this person as well. of Everything she's describing, I felt very convicted.
00:03:43
Speaker
Like, oh my God, she's talking about me. like And I truly said, oh my God, was it me? And and but of course, she doesn't name who it is and won't name who it is, but which is totally fine. But i it was like, oh my God. Because if you like go through the things she was saying while...
00:04:08
Speaker
actually not because Leslie and I have been down this road together a lot and Leslie's like, I don't care how many times you say it, this is not you and this is not you. And because I truly am not intending to copy anybody.
00:04:20
Speaker
However, have i Chatted with this person about campaign ideas? Yes. And that was mentioned. Have I shown similar items? Yes. Have I styled them in similar ways? Yes.
00:04:35
Speaker
um Have I seen things um that she shows first from her before I saw it on somebody else? Yes. Before I saw it in the store? Yes.
00:04:45
Speaker
Have there been times that I've seen something first and um that I then, and that I've bought. And then i see, I've filmed it. It hasn't been public. It hasn't been posted yet. And then I see her post it and I'm like,
00:05:00
Speaker
Except, you know, it's not. So I just was wondering like, oh my God, is she talking about me? Because she said i haven't said anything to the person. So I'm like, oh my God, oh my God. And so then I'm starting, I'm freaking out because I'm like the last thing. Yes, yourself and and holding back from doing things because you'd for fear that it might be taken as copying.
00:05:22
Speaker
Right. And so that started an entire conversation amongst our our creator group about copying. And I think everybody has and everybody had a little bit of a different take. um You know, but in in the group chat. But Leslie and I have talked at length because I've said I'm still like i it's it's still living in my head. And and this has been a couple of weeks, you know, and it's like I started worrying that.
00:05:54
Speaker
This person thinks that it's, if it's me, don't even know if it's me, if she's even referring to me. But it, and it doesn't, it really doesn't matter because am, I don't sit around and watch what she posts and then go post. And you wouldn't do it. Right. At all. And we have different audiences. I'm older. have an older demographic. However, I do have some younger people now, but a lot of the same influencers follow each of us.
Bias in Perception of Being Copied
00:06:20
Speaker
But she talked about this person was growing alongside her and profiting from her work.
00:06:32
Speaker
And that's where I had a little bit of a problem because... I know I'm not doing jack, you know what, that's profiting off of anybody else but the work that I'm doing. and Well, mean, that's a pretty bold claim. That is a bit... And probably not a factual one. Like, do we have...
00:06:53
Speaker
factual numbers to back that statement up? Probably not. But here's what I think. I think when you're the person that you, like when you're that close to it, because it's you that that's thinking you're being copied, you're entirely too close to it. But from an objective third party, if they were to compare apples to apples, like post to post, there probably isn't as much copy as the person who feels like it's being done to them.
00:07:22
Speaker
Right? Like, don't you think? Well, will say I will say not long after that, because I was all of a sudden, you know, thinking, oh my God, is it me? And Leslie, like, sang you. I mean, Leslie, if you know Leslie, she's all over it.
00:07:38
Speaker
Well, I was getting mad because several people were, i mean, it's not just you, but several people were like, oh God, does she think I'm copying her? And like, there is this person that is the same.
00:07:49
Speaker
And then does this other person over here think, and then it's like, well, and then it it started the conversation of, well, you know, so-and-so is copying me and so-and-so. These are from other people. Right. right Not...
00:08:01
Speaker
Just me. But then there was a legit... And earlier, let me say this. Earlier, and I just said it was legit, and it wasn't. But earlier, there was something that Leslie had done. And then somebody who I know we all follow, who follow we all follow and she follows us and whatever, did something very similar to what Leslie had been doing. And I was like...
00:08:23
Speaker
Leslie. And she didn't say, because here's the point that, let me back up and say what this other influencer who we were originally talking about was saying was um like, it's, ah we all kind of do it.
00:08:38
Speaker
ah She didn't really say that, but kind of like, it's okay as long as you give that person credit. And it's like, that's kind of hard to do with everything. You're not going to do that for every single thing you ever put on. or There are some things that I... Like when...
00:08:55
Speaker
Someone who's a much small, a very, very small new creator actually shared something with me that she had that she thought was in a you know a really good look for less. And she knows I do that. And she's like, I promise I'm not following you. And I'm like, girl, you do it. Like you you do it and I'll do it. It's fine. was like, but I'm going to tell people you are the one who brought it to me because she legitimately, I would not have known this existed if it had not been for this person.
00:09:23
Speaker
And You know, is she going to be a threat to me if that's what we're talking about? Because I'm going to also back up and say in a minute, I want to address the fact that my first thought was clearly this person, whoever this original influencer was talking about,
00:09:41
Speaker
she feels somewhat threatened by because if she didn't,
Ego and Profiting from Ideas
00:09:44
Speaker
why would she even care? Because we're all here influencing other people. So I hope people buy the stuff that I show and I buy through these other influencers links. I,
00:09:57
Speaker
do. I mean, I guarantee you that anybody who shows Avara has pretty much shown this shirt. Like we all had it because it was a cute shirt. I can't say we all had it, but a lot of us had this exact same shirt and showed it around the same time because they release it at the same time. Right. So, you know, it's just, my point is, yes, we want to give people, um, credit at certain times.
00:10:25
Speaker
However, I'm not going to say when I asked this person for her thoughts on, you know, when I got my first Walmart campaign and I thought, you know, I was super excited and I've, and I know it's Walmart stuff sells out fast. And I know this person has historically had Walmart campaigns. A lot of influencers do a lot of huge influencers do.
00:10:49
Speaker
Um, But I was like, do you have any ideas about how to make sure, like, do you have any tricks on making sure it's going to be in stock? Because that's what scared me the most was like, every time I buy something, it's out of stock. And she's like, yeah, I don't. Like, I really don't. It's, it's you know, it this is, I don't know. And a suggestion might be, you know, like maybe just do a...
00:11:10
Speaker
You could do something like shirts with sleeves or, I mean, dresses with sleeves or blah, blah, blah. And I had never thought of it that way. I'd never done a dresses with sleeves. I've done certain lengths, but I thought that's true because a lot of the people in my age bracket who follow me don't want to show their upper arms. So I went with that angle. Now, was I going to lead off my Walmart campaign with another influencer because She said, maybe think about doing a that.
00:11:41
Speaker
It never occurred to me that that would be a copy, if that makes sense. And maybe it wasn't. But when it was discussed in what she had to say, that we had talked about campaigns, I was like, that's that's where I immediately went, right? In my brain.
00:11:59
Speaker
But then... something else that I say all the time, someone who I know is a friend and a fellow creator, and we we all collaborate together. I noticed she shared something that had a phrase that I say all the time.
00:12:14
Speaker
And she didn't say, you know, Lauren always says, as Lauren says, blah, blah, blah, blah. Right. And it was like, so is that a copy or is it not a copy? But I felt in the moment like, oh my God, she copied me.
00:12:28
Speaker
I said to the person who works with me and does my editing, which is another part of this, like there's a third party who does a lot of my editing of my content and the way she um edits it and how it's shown. and And she's like, I want you to do more like, can you show me up closes and farther ways and different cuts and things.
00:12:53
Speaker
She follows a lot of influencers and she said, I see those get a lot better views. Okay. That's not me. That's her. But does it maybe mimic some other people's content? Yes. Right. Like, but anyway, but I asked her about this other person and I'm like, Oh my God, did you see so-and-so posted? deadda And I was like, do you think she's copy? That was a copy. And she goes, well,
00:13:20
Speaker
If she had said it, yes, but she didn't say So even the person who created the content for me, like edited it, didn't think it was an
Copying Across Industries
00:13:28
Speaker
exact copy. So I need to get the hell over myself is the reality in that situation.
00:13:34
Speaker
Right. I mean, so that just sort of brings it back to. What does it say about, cause you had some pretty strong opinions, Leslie, I'm going to say you want some strong opinions about the copy aspect and, and all that. And we're going to be real here.
00:13:54
Speaker
We said we were going to be real here. And so we are. And so I hope this isn't offending cause I, maybe this person will one day listen to this. I don't know. I'm sure she will recognize herself in this conversation.
00:14:06
Speaker
I'm sure others will recognize or maybe have ideas. ever If you've ever thought, no matter what industry you're in if you've ever thought so-and-so is copying me, my advice, first of all, is to check your own ego because chances are they're not. I mean, you know what mean? Like, especially on social media, it I mean, you're putting yourself out there.
00:14:33
Speaker
So chances are Lots of people are seeing it and someone will like what you're doing and want to either style something that way or they have the same you know item and they want to show it. um i just think there's a fine line between truly copying something And being an influencer and lots of people seeing it, I think subconsciously we view a lot of content. And does that seep in? And do you not know when you go to make your next post that, oh, God, i saw this exact thing? No, because it's subconscious. We're seeing about like your mind is seeing a bunch of content, right? And does that sometimes seep out into a piece of content that you post?
00:15:23
Speaker
Yes, it's inevitable. But i think it all comes back to you're an influencer, so you're putting yourself out there. You want people to buy the item.
00:15:35
Speaker
Chances are they're going to buy the item. Could that be another influencer and they then show the item? Yes, because it's fair game. Like it's fair game. you also just make commission on that person's sale? Yeah. Right. Right.
00:15:48
Speaker
Yes. Yes. i just think I just think it's an ego thing. And I think your first question should be to yourself, because if you're listening to this podcast and you're wanting to get into influencing or you're in influencing, If you've ever thought that person's copying me, check your own ego because they may never have even seen your post. You don't know. Let me say that very same phrase that I was talking about that I thought, oh my God, that person just copied me, right? That I don't own that phrase. So get it hell over myself.
00:16:22
Speaker
I happened to be searching for some inspiration of something to do for Walmart. And I came across somebody who used that exact same phrase. And I look, that girl doesn't follow me.
00:16:36
Speaker
She has no idea how to follow her, but she doesn't follow me. And I guarantee I didn't get it from her because I didn't originate the phrase either. It was given to me by somebody who was working with me. And she said it one day when I, cause I was walking through Walmart and I was like,
00:16:52
Speaker
what the, you know, and she was like, Oh my God, you need to say that every time you need that to be a series. And she's like, you're, that you're welcome. You can have, like, she's not, doesn't it do this in this business. Like she was just working with me. But that's where I got it from. And so, you know, it's like, it just, you check yourself. It's like, it you got to check yourself.
00:17:12
Speaker
But I do think that it, you were talking about ego you know, you you're not being nearly as passionate about this right now.
00:17:27
Speaker
And you better... ah i love day Okay, fine. I have brought my passion. You better bring yours. Okay, I'm going to say. Yeah, I mean, yes, I am very passionate because I don't i don't actually think any idea is original. And I think when you are like putting it out there, like, oh, poor me, so-and-so is copying me. i think you're trying to get attention.
00:17:51
Speaker
from your audience um because if you really had a problem with someone quote unquote copying you, then the adult thing to do would be to go to that source and say, hey, listen,
00:18:05
Speaker
this is making me uncomfortable. i feel like you're copying me or what, you know, in a nice way. And chances are the person's going to be like, Oh God, i didn't realize I was doing that. and I'm so sorry. But instead you want to take it to an audience to gain attention and get your followers to be on your side instead of ever addressing it with the person. Like that's just, I don't know. if That's just rude to me. I think um I've personally dealt with copying in the photography world, in my personal life, and in the influencer world. So I can give you examples. I can give you an example of when my ego got the better of me.
00:18:45
Speaker
I remember distinctly being in middle school and wearing an outfit. I think it had something to do with polka dots, right? And I am certain I saw it on TV or in a magazine or something, right? But I thought was originally.
00:19:01
Speaker
Huh? Tiger beat. Teen beat. I don't know. um I'm sure I thought I was being so original. But the truth of the matter is I saw it somewhere and then replicated it. And then I went to eat with a bunch of my friends. in this outfit. And guess what? The very next week, my friend Anna copied the outfit to a tee.
00:19:23
Speaker
I got mad, but why am I mad? why Why? Like what good does getting mad about it do? Because she has every right to put a white shirt with black shorts and a polka dotted scarf because I think that's what the outfit was. But you said you got mad and you were saying, I probably ignored her or I i was rude to her or something for a while, but we're still friends. So she must've gotten over it. But like you, at the time you reacted in a way that was like, I don't know who the hell you think you are. Did her wearing the same outfit truly hurt me? No. ah Oh my God. No. Right. Like it did not. Okay. But that was an instance. And I think from then on,
00:20:03
Speaker
Because I've been through it so many other times with different things like photography, et cetera, I really do not get upset when somebody copies me. I just don't. And I don't like to copy because to me, that makes me feel like I'm so, like it makes me look like I think I'm so important.
00:20:22
Speaker
that somebody would dare copy me. I'm nobody. Like, you know what i mean? And I mean, we're all just people. Like nobody's more important than
Striving for Originality
00:20:30
Speaker
anybody else. So the ego bothers me. Okay. So I get that.
00:20:34
Speaker
But there is, I'm going to throw this out there because there is an instance of We all, I say we all, because you do not.
00:20:45
Speaker
You are very much a person of, i i like you pride yourself. Like you're having to really work hard to show things that other people are showing. And I'm like, dude, you got to show something that other people are buying because nobody's going to buy. Like you want people to buy it? You better show stuff people are showing. So like. I know, but I hate to show the same thing as somebody else. I hate it. It drives me up to no point. Leslie is the anti-influx. She wants to influence people who only be the want to be the person who only is the only person who ever buys it and shows up at this place with it I'm like, good luck. Okay. all right But I think the idea that it just went right out of my head. Where was I going with this? Where was I going? Oh my God. Oh my God. oh yeah
00:21:29
Speaker
Some of them about ego. Okay. ego yeah now Ego. Well, first of all, you need to, instead of like taking it maybe to the and outside world of your, you know, people who are in your community and following, how about just say it to a friend? Because then they'll tell you if you're, and hopefully you have the kind of friends who'll tell you your ego is in check. Like the person who works with me. Right. was like, i don't think that's a full copy. Now, I will say Leslie was more like, I think that's a copy. But still, who the hell do you think you are, Lauren? I mean, like, and that's the point, right?
00:22:04
Speaker
You need people. i want people like that in my life. But I will say that when you get to the point of saying and claiming somebody's profiting,
00:22:16
Speaker
ah yeah Like that, i just, i would love to know more about that, but I don't know that we'll ever find that out because chances are- How are they watching? Let me just say- Yeah. I mean, like, I'm just curious about that, but because it's like, I really have thought about saying to this person, was it me? Because like, it still bothers me because the last thing I want to do, if she thinks it's you, she's batshit crazy.
00:22:48
Speaker
so Nothing you do is a copy of what she does other than the fact that you both show outfits. If that's a copy, then we're all guilty. Well, I do. I do show some of the same outfits. I will. I mean, I do. This is what I was going to say. This is what I was going to say when I forgot. Hold on.
00:23:05
Speaker
Was that, see, we get passionate about this. This is why we're talking about it here. um We will like, There are a lot of people who will show it the same things. And a lot of us have the same partnerships, right? When we have the same partners, there are other midlife, midlife influencers who are my age and older. Okay. Not this people we're talking about over here, but this other crowd. And we all have Walmart partnerships. Two of them are much bigger than I am. And there are people who are much bigger than they are. And I will see them share something and they will then share like, oh my God, y'all better get on this because you know, Walmart sells out and a huge creator just shared this exact item. And that is the case, right? And so maybe that's the profit, but I mean, who says like, but if it's a bigger creator, don't know. mean, it's like,
00:24:02
Speaker
If it's somebody who doesn't have a following, Does it, does that really, is that a threat? That's why I think it has to be somebody who threatens you and in some way.
00:24:12
Speaker
And I mean, I'm going to use myself as an example. Like I don't get back to i don't want to say back this. I don't want to, I want to say this because I know this person is probably listening to this. And I want to say that the, I did sort of say something to the person about the, using the phrase sort of, but of mine, it's not mine. I just said that it's not my phrase. um And, but the truth is, i don't know that I feel threatened.
00:24:41
Speaker
it's i just know she has, she's got a ah very loyal following and we're in a similar space, but I do believe there is enough room for all of us. And like, I am clearly friends with this person and I care for, like, I wouldn't not be friends with her because of this. Like, this was my,
00:25:01
Speaker
I don't like it was just a moment.
Ego vs. Flattery
00:25:03
Speaker
It was a moment that and I needed to get beyond for a minute because I was I needed to get over myself because truly.
00:25:13
Speaker
Like we all do it on some level. We're all yeah watching other people's stuff and we're all influenced by each other. And because as influencers, and those of you listening are likely influencers, we consume nothing but other influencers content. It's going to happen because...
00:25:34
Speaker
You don't even think twice. I, this one person who I'm sure this could be it. Like, I'm like, oh my God, because I did something and I literally waved goodbye with two hands. I have never done that before. She does that.
00:25:49
Speaker
And I remember when I did it, I was like, my don't wave with two hands. I wave with one hand or I don't wave at all. But That i I see enough of her content. I see other people's content. I see yes a lot that I do that then subconsciously becomes a part of what I do. And because i don't edit my content, it I should have said to my little cousin, who's my edit content editor, when I sent it to her, hey, cut that part out at the end because that's really not me.
00:26:22
Speaker
And I didn't. And she put it in there because she likely thought it was cute and a fun little way to send off. Right. Okay. But does somebody else own the right to wave with two hands?
00:26:33
Speaker
No. It doesn't. And did you consciously copy that person? No, I did not. No. But I did go. It was a subconscious. don't do it. i but like I caught myself. Right. Right.
00:26:46
Speaker
Okay. So I'm sorry. I cut you up, but I was like, I have a good point. Take it back to my example of when I was in middle school. huh Why did I really get mad? If i if I'm honest, it's probably because I was worried somebody thought she was cuter in the outfit than me.
00:27:03
Speaker
I mean, that's the truth. That is the truth. I mean, i let me i mean like i I get that. You probably were. i probably was.
00:27:14
Speaker
to go out and like claim somebody's copying me. Like, you know, there are always going to people that wear an outfit better than me. There's going to be a skinnier person than me. There's going to be a smarter person than me. There's going to be a prettier person than you.
00:27:29
Speaker
A definite taller person. I always wanted to be petite. So for me, I'm like, when I say that, that's not like a, cause I'm better. Cause I'm taller. I wanted to be a little bit petite like you. But my point is,
00:27:41
Speaker
If you feel that someone is copying you, I go back to the same thing I said at the beginning of this podcast. Check your ego. Because had I checked my ego when I got mad at my friend for copying my outfit, I would have realized that, oh,
00:27:58
Speaker
I really am just worried she looks better in it than me. She's not hurting me. She's not a fit. i mean you know what mean? Like it's actually flattery. I mean, it's actually a compliment. She liked what she saw and thought, oh, I'll do this too. So when it, I mean, the reality of the situation is when you post an outfit as an influencer, you're literally asking people to copy you.
Dialogue on Copying and Support
00:28:22
Speaker
That's kind of the business model. So to get mad, at somebody copying you is kind of ridiculous, really. Well, it is when you think of it that way. But I think we all work really hard in this business.
00:28:37
Speaker
At least anybody I know who does this works their A double S is off at this. And we, we want to be successful.
00:28:50
Speaker
it's, and It's a lot of women and women in general tend to get jealous of each other. And, like and that's, I think it's natural. Am I having a, I'm just asking you real quick. Am I having a background? Cause I just heard some reverb.
00:29:11
Speaker
No. Okay. Um, I think that, you know, we I think the jealousy thing is there, like it or not, we all feel it.
00:29:26
Speaker
And it's a human emotion that we all have. It's okay to feel it. It really is. It's also okay to try to, when appropriate, give people credit for sharing absolutely something. And especially if you are a bigger account than the another person, how about let's be gracious enough to say, I saw so-and-so because you know i don't look at
00:30:01
Speaker
intentionally, i don't intentionally, I'm going use that word. I don't intentionally look at people as competition. Has it ever happened where I've reacted in a way like I did with that phrase? Absolutely. And, and that's when I'm like, something is off in me if I'm going to be worried about that, because that is not what we were about. And that's not what we're about here in the influencer sisterhood at all. And so it, we,
00:30:25
Speaker
have thought long and hard about having, well, we didn't think long and hard about having this conversation because once we got passionate about it, again, it was like we had to have this conversation, but I think both of us were a little uncomfortable having it because of saying the things that we swore. And Leslie's like, well, you know what, Lauren, when we got into this, because we've been talking about this damn podcast since November, that And we are now in September. um yeah
00:31:00
Speaker
and So i think, you know, we we don't want to... we want to be honest. And Leslie was like, we said we were going be honest. We were going to pull the curtain back. And this is truly the nitty gritty. And if it means somebody gets upset with us, then they're going to get upset with us. And there's not much we can do about that. I'm trying, I am trying to be respectful and own my own crap because I really like, that's why I wanted to say I did this and felt, and the reality is,
00:31:34
Speaker
what, who the hell do I think I am? You know, that's ridiculous. That is absolutely ridiculous. And, and, but we need people in our lives who will call us on our BS and, you know, we'll also be there and to go to bat for us when we need to, but also say, you know what, I think, because we've also had other people we know, um say that we think that they think they're being copied and legitimately we're like,
00:32:01
Speaker
I don't see it. Yeah, I right so so i because the And Leslie has said that about stuff that I've done and and vice versa. And, you know, Leslie, you got into this business and lost a friend over this. Oh, yeah. know yeah yeah because Let's talk about, you don't have name names, but let's talk about that situation. And this has been a very painful experience.
00:32:24
Speaker
Yeah, so I had a friend who was a photographer friend. Like, and when I say friend, like, I've been to, I've flown to Dallas to stay with this person.
00:32:35
Speaker
i talk to this person daily. thought we were legitimate friends. like It's kind of like how we're friends. we're yeah ah Yeah. like Like for real friends. For real friends. and And we were in a group, Marco Polo, and i said, you know i really wish there were more influencers my age. This has been a couple of years where there weren't as many as there are today. was like, I really wish I could figure out a way to incorporate influencing with my photography business because I'm always wanting to see what other people wear. Maybe somebody wants to see what I wear.
00:33:13
Speaker
I didn't do it at that point. This friend started doing it. I did not get mad about that, even though I'm the one that voiced the actual thing, right? Because guess what? I didn't invent influence and she can do whatever she wants to, right? So i was super excited when I saw her do it, right?
00:33:30
Speaker
It took me a little longer to start. And the minute I started, she blocked me. And I think it's because she thought I was quote unquote copying her. But last time I checked, she didn't invent influencing.
00:33:44
Speaker
Right. And she started influencing after 8,000 other people started influencing. So who did she copy? Right. Well, i I'll also say that it's it's humbling and it's difficult because she's huge. Right.
00:33:59
Speaker
Oh, very huge and good for her. 600,000 followers, huge. The sad thing is I would be her biggest cheerleader if she hadn't have blocked me. so Now we're going to just not be happy about it. but But yeah, I mean, it's, but that's the thing is it's like.
00:34:17
Speaker
But was it really copying just because I had the same track of going from photography to influencing? no No, but there's a ton of influencers out there. I don't even have the same style. Like I wouldn't, I think she looks great, but it is not my style whatsoever. So we can't even get into, I showed the same shirt as her because I would never wear the same shirt as her because it's just not my style. It's beautiful on her.
00:34:45
Speaker
um So where does the line cross? I guess that's the point of this whole conversation, because as an influencer, we are consuming a ton of content. We don't want to intentionally copy someone. someone We don't necessarily want someone to intentionally copy us.
00:35:02
Speaker
But there is the level of Sorry, UPS is here. Welcome to our influencer world.
00:35:15
Speaker
Okay, so where is the level of truly copying versus, i don't know, being influenced by? Is that the right term?
00:35:31
Speaker
Because don't get me wrong, there probably is truly copying somewhere else. Yeah, think there is. And I think there's someone taking your exact motions, your exact you know audio you paired with it, your exact outfit, your exact jewelry, your exact captions, your exact phrase. Yes, that is copying. But showing the same shirt as somebody else is not copying.
00:35:55
Speaker
No, and I think, you know, I am sure that There are, i in my opinion, I think it comes down to intent.
00:36:06
Speaker
Right. And I think it comes down to if you know that you truly got X, y or Z, like the bag that I showed, I mean, I would not have known that existed except this person legitimately,
00:36:27
Speaker
messaged me with no other reason than, hey, guess what? I found this such and such. like And that was just really kind of her, right? I mean, I'm clearly much larger account, bless her little heart. I mean, oh God, that sounded terrible. I don't mean bless her little heart. That sounded terrible. That sounded terrible. Please cut that out. wouldn't even talk about that person again. I mean, you know what I mean?
00:36:55
Speaker
Just talk about
00:36:59
Speaker
ah still outs I mean, still... Okay, wait. yeah ChatGPT says, but if someone is styling a blazer kind of like you did or filming a reel in the same format, that's influence. We're all borrowing ideas and adding our own spin. So take that, but say it in your own way, because I think that's kind of where you're going.
00:37:21
Speaker
Say that again, what Cat GPT said. But if someone is styling a blazer kind of like you did or filming a reel in kind of the same format, that's influence. We're all borrowing ideas and adding our own spin. Okay, go. let's yeah So I think that it comes down to if somebody is styling a similar shirt, skirt,
00:37:50
Speaker
blazer. um I don't show a lot of blazers, but you know, like, which is when I start thinking in all actuality um that I need to, if I'm showing something that I got to say this, because if I'm. What does this have to do with the conversation?
00:38:07
Speaker
Well, because I would say, i would clearly tell somebody, I would say I was influenced by so-and-so because I don't show shirt and blaze. Like I just don't show that shit Oh, but got it. That's my point is that like, if it is so far out of the realm of anything that I think we've ever done that I've ever done, and I am only doing it because I saw somebody else do it, then I think I should give that person credit. Um, and by credit, I don't mean anything other than that. I was influenced by, okay.
00:38:42
Speaker
Right. And, um, And I truly have said that about the person who I'm worried thinks I copied her because I have said that and called said the name and that I was influenced by. Um,
00:38:55
Speaker
But I think that if somebody else is just styling an outfit the way we do or um editing in a similar way, ma look, there's trending audio. We're all racing to use trending audio. um That's just influence. it's not It's not copying. and And that's what we do. And anybody who's anybody would say,
00:39:18
Speaker
as a coach of influencing is find people who are doing things well, and those are the best practices and you need to do it, but you need to find your way of doing it. Your spin, yes. Your spin, but there's going to be so much more overlap than there is uniqueness because- Oh, for sure. and Well, because copying been around forever. I mean, fashion repeats itself, right? yeah Pinterest boards are filled with people looking at Pinterest and then going and creating the outfit. It's somebody else's content. TikTok trends are trends because they want lots of people doing it.
00:40:01
Speaker
so does that mean because you did a TikTok trend or an Instagram real trend that you're copying somebody else that's also done it? No, because the whole point of a trend is so multiple people do it, right? Literally everyone's doing the same thing. i think the key is to keep it like your own spin on it for sure.
00:40:21
Speaker
Well, think authenticity comes down to it too. And if you or I, or anyone else who's listening, you're building your own following. You're building your own community. and Right.
00:40:34
Speaker
And, You need, I need to be authentic to myself and to my community because that is what attracts people to follow me is my authenticity or whatever it is that they come to me to watch and follow for. Right. And so I need to be true to that.
00:40:52
Speaker
And that's, if somebody else is showing the same things I am, So be it because yeah they have followers who don't follow me and or even if they do, sometimes they might buy it through me. Sometimes they buy it through them. Who cares? It's not taking money out of your pocket is the point. But I think, you know, I think it's, it's important that if something is completely Like if I were to try to do a TikTok trend, some kind of dumb dance, although I say dumb dance, it'd be fun. I mean, I used to dance when I was a kid, but like if were to do a TikTok trend, actually. i got But if I were to do that, that's a departure.
00:41:39
Speaker
Doesn't mean that um I'm following, I would need to say, you know, I saw so-and-so so do this TikTok trend, but it would be like, I'm doing a TikTok trend and and people who follow me would be like,
00:41:51
Speaker
Well, go girl or whatever they would be saying about it. Right. But it's so different from my typical content. And I think that might be the line that we need to yeah think is if it's so far out of the realm of your typical content, think about where you got it from. And if there is someone who inspired you to do it,
00:42:13
Speaker
There's nothing wrong with saying you're inspired by so-and-so. But also know that there are going to be times when people are inspired by me or inspired by you, and they don't say it because they're in the moment and they forget and they're trying to remember to get in the sense of it. I didn't tag you. I mean, I don't think it's malice by any stretch of the imagination. Exactly. and and And no one owes us that.
00:42:39
Speaker
So no give people grace, give ourselves grace. And if we know we've done something that we feel is wrong, then maybe we say that to the person and say, hey, I'm really sorry I didn't tag you in that. I probably should have, ah you know, if if we realize that, if we think that, it Because you're not wrong for doing it. You're not right for doing. Very rarely buy an outfit from somebody else. Because as we discussed, Leslie likes to pretend like she won't wear anything that anybody else wears. But there was an outfit. I have a favorite influencer that I follow who has amazing style. For the most part, she dresses up way more than me. But there was one outfit that was super casual and just like totally a Leslie outfit. Like I was like, that's me. I immediately bought...
00:43:27
Speaker
every piece of it. And when I went to show it, I tagged her in it. But guess what? She didn't know because she don't follow me. So, but I still gave her credit because it was the right thing to do, right? Like, because I know that I bought it very, like, like every piece was exactly like her. So I tagged her in it. um But had I just bought the skirt or, you know, just bought the shoes or something like that and put it with something completely different, I don't think I would need to tag somebody in that, right? So I think to Lauren's point, check yourself and check your intent.
00:44:02
Speaker
If you intentionally know in your heart of hearts that you took every piece of something from someone, all right, that lends itself to copying. But because you wore the same shirt that somebody else wore, chances are we're all doing that, right? Like, because there's multiple shirts made by the manufacturer and chances are more than one person's going to buy it. And in the influencing world,
00:44:25
Speaker
You know, if Walmart's giving deals to like lots of influencers, everybody's probably picking very similar things because there are just certain things that are the cutest things to show. Yeah.
00:44:38
Speaker
Exactly. And you do your best, you do your best to like show it your way, but there are going to be times that we both thought pair of denim shorts were going to be adorable, which I think, that I think, you know, I should, I should say, Leslie, you know, you copy me because, but actually I'm lying because Leslie, I was like, what was it when you started? What what made you follow me way back when? Cause our styles are so different. I mean,
00:45:04
Speaker
I love Leslie's style, but like when she tries to get me to buy things, I'm like i' was like, you need to, you have to buy these. Well, first of all, they cost a gajillion dollars and I'm not, I can't do it because I buy too much stuff. The problem is the volume that I buy. So I cannot buy expensive things because I just can't, I can't afford volumes of expensive things. But right she's like, would you please buy these damn pants because you're you're tall and I can't wear them and I want somebody to wear them. But like, I do love Leslie's style, but it's it's a little different than mine. We try to show people petite versus tall. We try to find things that we both can wear will wear.
00:45:48
Speaker
You know, and sometimes it's easier than others, um but it... you know, she's also five one and I'm five eight And so so she'll be like, this is really cute.
00:46:00
Speaker
It's probably going to too short on you. And I'm like, yeah, I don't know if i can do that. It's just certain things look really adorable on a little body. And I'm not a little body. There's just nothing little about me. I didn't come out of the womb little. But I do think that it I will likely at some point approach the person who I think thinks I i copied her.
00:46:26
Speaker
i would bet you money that she's going to like, oh no, it's not you, whether it was or not. And that's fine. But I, especially before this comes out, I will likely do it because I feel like it's a respect thing. And I want to be clear that we're talking about something that she's a part of, even though we're not naming, um I don't feel right about doing it. Just like I wouldn't feel right about legitimately copying somebody and not giving them
00:46:57
Speaker
the respect that they deserve about something when we talk about, like if I completely, only reason I knew about that was x y or Z, or the only, you know what i mean? That kind of thing, something super unique. But, um, so I will likely do that and say, Hey, I just, I've been, been bothering me. I feel really bad about it. If that's what you think, I certainly was never in, that was not my intent, whatever. So, but I do feel like I wanna make sure that I say that so that you all hear that because I think it's important that you know that what our intent, Leslie and i our intent of this, because we're talking about intent, but our intent of this podcast is that we really show you behind the scenes, we pull back the curtain, this is what we talk about. This is what influencers struggle with.
00:47:51
Speaker
And that we legitimately have been actually having conversations about this for quite a while behind the scenes. And so we need to talk about it here. But I want to do it in a way that is respectful. And I don't want you to think I'm doing this and throwing somebody under the bus and not going to give them the opportunity to hear from me that I might be discussing this.
00:48:16
Speaker
So I just, I want to make sure that um I say that. I want you to feel safe to to come to us, that we're going to approach it in in a ah respectful way.
00:48:27
Speaker
Whether we agree, we disagree, whatever, we're going to be respectful of each person's space because I believe, and I know Leslie does too, but I believe that there is room for all of us here.
00:48:41
Speaker
All of us. Yeah. And absolutely. When we forget that, that's when we got to check our ego. Yep. So basically the takeaway is if you're an influencer or if you're trying to be an influencer, the chances are you might be copied.
00:48:59
Speaker
In fact, celebrate it because it means you're doing your job really well.
Celebrating Uniqueness and Community Support
00:49:03
Speaker
it means somebody likes what you're doing as opposed to taking offense to it. I think the way you take it is something to you know make sure that you are checking your ego and realizing that, hey.
00:49:18
Speaker
This is not, somebody's not, you know, the enemy just because they copied me, right? But instead, focus on the fact that nobody can copy you, like you yourself. Somebody might can copy your shirt. Somebody might can copy your outfit. Somebody can use the same audio as you. But at the end of the day, nobody can be you. um And your personality, your spin, your story, all those things are the thing that makes you unique and the thing that makes you People want to follow you. um And I would say that, you know,
00:49:53
Speaker
If you have ever felt like you've copied somebody, also know that as long as the intent wasn't to directly copy somebody word for word for word, then you are just influenced by that person. And that's not a bad thing either, right? Because again, we're all consuming a ton of content. um And what we do is all about seeing, I mean, you're just seeing so much stuff. Sometimes it can seep in. If you feel like Lauren and you feel like, oh God, maybe I did do this, then reach out to the person because Lauren didn't do it. I mean, let's be honest. I'm going to say this for the 800th time. Lauren did not copy this person. She did not copy this person. She did not copy this person. But there's a piece of her that thinks that maybe...
00:50:41
Speaker
she might've taken some influence from this person. And if it makes her feel better. Well, I know influenced by this person. Right. I up put a lot of money in this person's pocket. i can prompt you but um My point is this person is an influencer and there was no ill intent in what you may have done. um So if it bothers you, reach out to that person, right? Like just say, listen,
00:51:04
Speaker
It wasn't intentional. If if if ah if I'm the person you're thinking of, I just want to say, I'm sorry. It's not intentional. And, um, but I've done, a you know, it's, it's really been weighing on me because it has, it absolutely has.
00:51:19
Speaker
But be an adult about it and just have a conversation about it. Like just, yeah, just be open and have a conversation. We're all adults. Like, you know, again, no ill intent was there. um You might have done a gesture like her with the two hands or you might have shown the same shirt, but like you didn't do it knowing I am copying this person.
00:51:39
Speaker
Right. And that's kind of what I told you, you know, when we talked about other people feeling they got copied. i'm like, okay, well, wait a minute. Did they really? Like one piece of the pie does not mean all things are copied, right? um So remember as you're influencing to, you know, be influenced, share what you want to share, but give credit when credit is due. That doesn't mean you have to give credit every single time you ever post something because somebody may have actually also posted that. But it does mean like if you know in your heart that you took this from
00:52:15
Speaker
somebody, right? Like you saw a specific person and you remember that, then give them credit. But also just remember when you think somebody's copying you, then just say to yourself, mission accomplished. I influenced somebody because that's the goal. That's why we're doing it, right? Exactly. Absolutely. Absolutely. And we are here to And mean that leads me to the point that, you know, we're so i we we are so grateful that you all are here and listening and want to be a part of this sisterhood. And that is what we want it to be. We want to not gatekeep. We want to not say, this is mine. I'm the only one who does this. You're not allowed to. And um and i I don't want to tell you this information because you might take it and do something with it.
00:53:01
Speaker
That is not what we are about. We are about creating a place where you belong. You don't have to have a certain number of followers to belong. You don't have to have reached X number of brand deals to belong. You belong. If you just want to do this, you belong. And our DMS are always open. We have a We have a um an Influencer Sisterhood account on Instagram that will also be linked in the show notes. So you can always DM us there. And then you can always follow and DM us individually because we really do want to create a space
00:53:43
Speaker
where we felt there wasn't one up until now. And where where no topic is off limits. Like will talk about it. And we're going to talk about things that might make each of us a little bit uncomfortable at times because...
00:53:58
Speaker
It's just because I know if we're having this conversation, somebody else is having it too. Absolutely. And, you know, let's talk about it. And we would love your feedback.
00:54:09
Speaker
If, you know, please message us. Let us know what your thoughts are on copying. Do you agree with us? Do you think... We're wrong. And that's okay if you do.
00:54:20
Speaker
Be kind. And I would ask you to be kind in how you gave us that feedback. However, do what you got to do. you know But if you don't agree with this, let us know that too. We would love to know your thoughts on it and have a discussion, an open discussion. Yeah, exactly.
00:54:35
Speaker
thing Yeah, let's keep that dis discussion going in the DMs because copy-in not going to go away. It's always going part of this job. Right. And if we can maybe, maybe between all of us, we'll come up with some sort of way that might feel a little more comfortable for everybody else. um So I just, you know, we, we, I know we appreciate you being here and, um and we do, we do want to know what you think.
00:55:00
Speaker
yeah And here's another thing, if there's anything else that you have any questions, like if there are any, com if you have something that you've been having as a conversation with your friend, yeah because I think we all, at a certain point, you get to a place where you have a friend who's doing this and you're like talking to each other each day, or I hope you get to a place where you have someone that you can do that with. um And that's what this is about.
00:55:23
Speaker
However, if you are doing that and there topics that you want to hear us talk about, please send them our way because that's why we're here. we want to We want to open the door, open the discussions to where we we we together as a group, collective sisterhood can can be for each other um what we may not have by ourselves.
00:55:50
Speaker
Yep. Our door's open. would love any sort of topic conversations. We want to get it started. We want this to be not a mystery because I know when I started, it was a mystery because nobody talked about it. So we kind of, that's our goal with this is that anything to do with influencing is talked about. So it's
Spotlighting Fellow Influencers
00:56:07
Speaker
not a mystery. So you have all the information you need to make the most of your um your job as an influencer.
00:56:16
Speaker
Okay, this is one of our favorite parts of the show. It's time for our sister shout out. Each week, we each share a fellow influencer who is standing out. We'll tell you what she's doing so well, why her content stands out, and why you need to hit that follow button.
00:56:32
Speaker
Because supporting each other is what the sisterhood is all about. And when one of us shines, it lights the way for the rest of us.
00:56:42
Speaker
It's the time in the show where we shout out a fellow influencer sister who we think is doing a good job. um I'll start. I'm going to go ahead and shout out the person that i tagged in my outfit because I bought the whole outfit because of her because that's the woman that's on my mind. um I absolutely adore her style. um i do love that she is very down to earth. She kind of pokes fun at herself a little bit, um which I think is fun. you know, doesn't take herself too seriously, et cetera. Her name is Megan. i think it's Mullen, but I've got to double check the last name. Hold on just a minute. Megan.
00:57:23
Speaker
Yes, Megan Mullen. She's got incredible style. I wish I could dress like her every day. And truthfully, I would, if I could, I'd probably copy every outfit, but I can't. So she's just that good. So that's my sister shout out. Go follow her. She has an impeccable style.
00:57:41
Speaker
My sister shout out is going to be in honor of you, Leslie, because this person has her own style and she likes herself some expensive stuff. And she is also a girl's girl, even though she might not, you might not realize that's about her.
00:57:59
Speaker
Um, But her name is Michael, Michael Bryan, and she is Michael's must-haves. And i have I have actually tagged her before in items that I had i would have never seen before in my life.
00:58:14
Speaker
And... and I bought a piece and I'm like, good gracious, I love this dress and I can't believe I'm keeping it because it costs more than I normally spend because y'all know I'm a look for less kind of girl. She is the opposite of that. She has such an interesting style and I will tell you she is a really kind human being. She has reached out to me.
00:58:37
Speaker
ah like completely separately to give me advice about things. And it wasn't in like unwelcomed advice. It was like, Hey, I want you to know if you are interested in working with these brands, you might want to do something a little bit differently, or you might want like, but it was a, it was in a kind way. are you It was like looking out for me and there's a difference and it felt there. And you know, and she's been, she's been very helpful. Um,
00:59:03
Speaker
And i love I love the fact that we're the same height. we're some I'm a little older than she is, not a ton. um But, you know, we i just were we built very similarly. So while I don't always spend the money that she does, because I wish I did and in another lifetime, maybe I will. Maybe if I keep doing this longer, I'll be able to. But I really love what she does and how she does it. And she's so herself.
00:59:32
Speaker
so unique. And so I really encourage you to follow her. It's Michael's must have. And we will link both of these in the show notes. um So you can give them a follow as well. So thanks again for listening to us. um Again, we'd love to keep the conversation going about copying because to be honest, I don't think that topic is going to go anywhere. um So DM us, follow along on both of our channels. We'll link those as well, as well as the Influencer Sisterhood Instagram and the show notes. And we'll see you next time.
01:00:02
Speaker
Bye, y'all.