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Financial Infidelity
329 Plays3 years ago
Trust in a marriage is the harbinger of confidence and freedom, which means keeping secrets is a risky business. Financial infidelity, not being honest or transparent with your partner when it comes to your money, not only breaks trust but it robs you from the chance to agree on boundaries and flourish within them. Ask anyone who has visited that glass walkway at the Grand Canyon, the rails that surround it aren’t a handcuff, they allow you to enjoy the view freely without risking your demise. (Yeah, financially infidelity can be like that).
So what do you do? We’ll hit it up in this week’s simple step, but if you’re sharp, some of the links below will give it away. Suffice to say, get a budget.
Qube Money: https://qubemoney.com/ Code: Uncommon
Our Qube Money coach Ryan Garvey: https://www.linkedin.com/in/ryan-garvey-071850180/
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Transcript
Introduction to Living an Uncommon Life
00:00:02
Speaker
Everyone dreams about living an uncommon life, but how we define that dream is very different for each of us. And for most, it's a lifelong pursuit.
Purpose of the Uncommon Life Project Podcast
00:00:11
Speaker
Welcome to the Uncommon Life Project podcast. We're going to introduce you to people who are living that life or enjoying the journey to get there. We're going to also give you some tools, tricks, and tips for starting or accelerating your own efforts to live an uncommon life.
00:00:27
Speaker
A life worth celebrating and savoring.
Meet the Hosts: Brian Dewhurst and Philip Ramsey
00:00:30
Speaker
Please welcome your hosts, Brian Dewhurst and Philip Ramsey.
00:00:36
Speaker
Hello and welcome everybody to another episode of the uncommon life project where I'm your host Philip Ramsey and Aaron Kramer.
What is Financial Infidelity?
00:00:43
Speaker
Welcome to the jungle. We have a simple step for everybody. Uh, we have a whole topic, but we have to make it five minutes. That's the deal. Might have to breach this one later, but it's financial infidelity. Yes. What in the world is that? Yes. Financial infidelity is like, okay. So one is worse than sexual infidelity.
00:01:02
Speaker
Well, let's just talk through that. We only have five minutes, keep going, keep going. I want to treat you on that. But okay, so it is when you are keeping secrets from your spouse about money.
00:01:14
Speaker
So you're not telling them about things that you're spending purchase you bought just yeah So it can break down trust faster than anything I have studies on that so if you actually need that data, but Yeah, so it's really dangerous on a couple and it's very common and we need to break it So we have some simple steps on how to break it.
The Impact of Financial Infidelity on Relationships
00:01:35
Speaker
Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Yeah. Yeah, okay We're gonna go back to the whole infidelity with the sexual input because like to me
00:01:43
Speaker
It's just tough, like that's a tough, anyway, keep going on your thought, let's go to the simple setup and then we'll go on. Go back to that or? Yeah, if we have time. Okay, so my thing is like, you got all these things out there, like how do you do this and money is just super hard and we typically, we marry people that are the opposite of us in our money habits. So with that, it causes a lot of consultation and then what ends up happening, we don't talk to our spouses about money and so a lot of financial infidelity starts happening.
00:02:10
Speaker
to what extreme that ranges. But how do we combat this? My thing is, is what I have found, because I even struggled with this a little bit in my own marriage.
Introducing Cube: A Tool for Financial Communication
00:02:20
Speaker
And what that said is, Cube that we now partner with is amazing on this.
00:02:27
Speaker
Because when you are scared, for those people that are just scared to talk to their spouse about it next, their spouse is mean or anything like that. But just because of their spending habits, they're like, oh, I don't want to have to own up to this one. And you have to get in front of your spouse. Well, Cube does this for you. You see the apps. You never have to go tell your spouse. Now, we want you to have that relationship where you can do that.
00:02:49
Speaker
but it helps you build into that.
Budgeting as a Trust-Building Tool
00:02:51
Speaker
Right. So what would you say to the people who are like, I am scared to go to a budget, but I'm also scared because the, there is some financially infidelity going on in my marriage. What would you say? I would say the most liberating thing would be to have a budget that gives you that freedom, but then to like, it will be totally worth the fact of like being on one page with your spouse.
00:03:12
Speaker
Right. Right. I think that's wise. And I do think that it is powerful when you and your spouse are unified in the budget. Cause it's like the front lines of defense for your money. And then also a lot of people think that it's like restrictive, but what people find when they're actually on a budget is it's very free. It's very, like there's freedom in it, which sounds weird, but there's like, uh, here's the analogy. If you're going down a mountain with no guardrails, it gets real scary. You go,
00:03:38
Speaker
You go a little slower, but if you do have guardrails, you can go a little faster cause you have that guardrail. And so if there is freedom in some kind of boundaries, so much does a really good job. And so if this is something for you, I would say definitely get a budget. If you don't have a budget infidelity or not, you need a budget. And I think cube money is an amazing app and it's an amazing system. You can use the word uncommon for the promo code when you go to cube money.
00:04:03
Speaker
and a cube spelled Q-U-B-E. We also have a trainer or coach that can help you with that, so reach out. But yeah, get on a budget, start thinking through
The Benefits of Financial Engagement in Marriage
00:04:14
Speaker
this. Financial infidelity is any kind of secrets that are kept from your spouse are huge. Yep, and I just wanna add real quick here, on the benefit of the infidelity portion of it, on the budget side and why it seems scary, like I mentioned before, I had this with my wife a little bit,
00:04:32
Speaker
Now think about the things that you're buying that you don't want to tell your spouse about. Now think about your wife or your husband getting just as excited about buying those things than you are. That's powerful. It's exciting to see your spouse get excited. Like my wife hates working out. Like she does not like workouts or like meathead workout equipment and stuff, but now she gets just as excited as I do because I'm excited to purchase it.
00:04:56
Speaker
That was the power of a budget. Yeah, it's part of a plan, so I get it. Okay, that's your simple step. Simple step. Go out, get a budget. Whether it's CUBE or not, YNAB, or any other every dollar counts, whatever you guys want to use, get it, be transparent, talk through
Final Thoughts and Encouragement to Live Uncommon
00:05:10
Speaker
it. We hope this helps. You've been listening to the Uncommon Life Project. I've been your host, Philip Ramsey. And Aaron Kramer. Thanks for tuning in. Till next time, go big in common.
00:05:18
Speaker
That's all for this episode of The Uncommon Life Project, brought to you by Uncommon Wealth Partners. Be sure to visit uncommonwealth.com to learn more about our services. Don't miss an episode as we introduce you to inspiring people who are actively pursuing an uncommon life.