Transcript
Speaker: Yeah, there is room for that.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: You know what else there's room for?
Speaker: What's that?
Speaker: Hey there, everybody.
Speaker: Welcome back to Pixel It.
Speaker: We're finishing The Silver Eyes.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: We're doing it.
Speaker: We're doing it.
Speaker: We did it, Kevin.
Speaker: We did it.
Speaker: And you know what's hilarious?
Speaker: This fucking book didn't defeat us the second time around.
Speaker: It nearly did because we had to cancel two recordings.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: We were supposed to finish this days ago and then I had a stomach bug.
Speaker: And then Phil had some work issues and- I nearly burnt my house to the ground to get out of this.
Speaker: I was gonna let you say it instead of saying-
Speaker: We had a kitchen situation.
Speaker: There's a reducing, a reduction on the stove that reduced past the point of a reduction.
Speaker: Yes, and moved into carbon making process.
Speaker: The carbon process, yeah.
Speaker: The carbon process.
Speaker: And I said, I got to get out of this book, stat!
Speaker: And I just turned everything over on the stove and we watched it all burn like the end of What's Eating Gilbert Grape.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: You and Emily, or you and Emily held hands and watched the buildings tumble down.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Like at the end of Fight Club.
Speaker: Yes, yes.
Speaker: That was the, yeah.
Speaker: I mean, our life is soundtracked by the Pixies for the record.
Speaker: So there is that.
Speaker: Could be worse.
Speaker: No, we were supposed, it was never because of the book though, unless you believe in curses.
Speaker: FNAF may have left a curse upon us.
Speaker: Upon us.
Speaker: But that's the only thing I can do.
Speaker: A pox.
Speaker: Our book reading.
Speaker: We're not going to labor this book any longer than it has to be.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Remember in the last episode when we were really high-level?
Speaker: Not really high.
Speaker: We were moderately middle on the prospects of this book.
Speaker: Yeah, I do remember that.
Speaker: Why do you ask?
Speaker: Can I get a status check on that?
Speaker: How was our feeling after having read the rest of it?
Speaker: This was awful.
Speaker: This is a bad book.
Speaker: This was such a letdown.
Speaker: Not a good book.
Speaker: What a letdown.
Speaker: Here's the thing.
Speaker: It has a good...
Speaker: A relatively strong second act, which I will say almost nobody has a good second act.
Speaker: Normally it's like you got a kick ass start and we're like a kick ass ending.
Speaker: The middle, I would say almost never has has the the good stuff in it.
Speaker: You know, it's just kind of like to have the good stuff, you know, it's just keeping it along, keeping it afloat.
Speaker: Keeping it afloat until you get to the bitching part at the end.
Speaker: And then this book has a good middle.
Speaker: And it's like getting an Oreo.
Speaker: And the middle is creamy.
Speaker: But you bite into it and you find out that the outsides are no longer Oreo.
Speaker: It's like wheat thins.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: It's a wheat thin sandwich with Oreo cream in the middle.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: Which I refuse to believe is not some gamer's favorite treat, but still gross.
Speaker: Dunk it in G Fuel and move on.
Speaker: Yeah, gross.
Speaker: Gross.
Speaker: So we left off on chapter nine.
Speaker: Yes, we did.
Speaker: And in the beginning of chapter nine, Carlton Carlton, he is live and he's stuck inside of an animatronic suit.
Speaker: And that's that's that's pretty much what happens.
Speaker: Yeah, he's probably going to die.
Speaker: You know, that's that you think he's going to die because the spring traps are are just ready for the taste of flesh.
Speaker: So we cut over to the gang and they're like, oh, my God, the door has been has been melted shut or whatever.
Speaker: Like literally just like it's just steel plating welded onto it.
Speaker: Just like how?
Speaker: How?
Speaker: How?
Speaker: How?
Speaker: When did he get the, where did he get, how did he get back in?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like, and I'm aware of the fact that we're dealing with a book and a franchise, which is going to deal with the ghosts of dead children.
Speaker: But I gotta tell you, if your ghosts,
Speaker: defense mechanism is like welding an iron plate onto a door.
Speaker: Kind of a boring ghost, I'm gonna be completely honest with you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like, yeah, my ghosts are really good at construction, as the case may be.
Speaker: They're good construction.
Speaker: They got erector sets as kids.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: They learned appropriately.
Speaker: They learned appropriately.
Speaker: Erector sets, do they still make those?
Speaker: I doubt it.
Speaker: And are they still named those?
Speaker: Well, we always call them erection sets.
Speaker: I mean, that's why.
Speaker: That's why I ask.
Speaker: I'm going to check real quick.
Speaker: Yeah, can you look that up before we move on?
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: Oh, they still... Well, they make them.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: But erector set proper is no longer...
Speaker: a thing.
Speaker: But for all intents and purposes, those style of toys are still around.
Speaker: Just not with that name.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: I found a. Oh, man, it just opened up to like Legos and shit, too.
Speaker: Did it open up to a Warhammer one?
Speaker: Well, it's a this is like.
Speaker: Off brand.
Speaker: I don't know if this is official Star Wars shit or not, but it's like off brand Lego off brand Star Wars, but it looks kind of badass.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So anyway, glory to the emperor.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: All hail.
Speaker: So they they they use their they press down on the R2 button and activate detective mode and they find Jason's footprints and they follow it to a vent in the grounds that he could have fit through.
Speaker: And that's probably how he got in because the door was sealed shut.
Speaker: And they try to force Jessica to go in there.
Speaker: And Jessica clearly has some issues with claustrophobia and refuses to go in.
Speaker: So they got to figure out.
Speaker: how to get onto the roof because apparently there's a space between the roof of Chuck E. Cheese's and and the mall.
Speaker: Yeah, they've like encased
Speaker: The Freddy Fazbear's, basically.
Speaker: Yeah, the mall is like 15 feet high and the Freddy Fazbear's is 12 feet high.
Speaker: Yeah, there's like 13 feet high.
Speaker: But yeah, there's a gap between the two.
Speaker: And Charlie remembers that there was a skylight randomly in one of the closets.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because closets get skylights.
Speaker: You know.
Speaker: classic.
Speaker: You can't build me a house and not offer the classic closet skylight.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: Where they clearly should go.
Speaker: So there's a bit where they're just like running up and down the hallway carrying a ladder to try to figure out how to get up and then they find a gap in the ceiling where they can crawl up top and they're crawling along the ceiling and there's rats up there.
Speaker: And this could have been a really good like all this entire sequence had it just leaned on, let's say, the Goonies, maybe.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I feel like the Goonies would have been a good a good touchstone.
Speaker: for this.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That kind of childlike adventure wonder kind of thing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, we don't get any of that.
Speaker: Um, it's very padded.
Speaker: It's very padded.
Speaker: Uh, they get to the skylight, uh,
Speaker: And they open it up.
Speaker: Charlie goes down through it.
Speaker: And then I wrote down that she steps on a bunch of rakes.
Speaker: And this is just shorthands.
Speaker: She doesn't literally step on a bunch of rakes, but it might as well have been that scene from The Simpsons where Sideshow Bob keeps stepping on rakes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: I can never get it, but the grumble he hits.
Speaker: Just identical each time.
Speaker: The Kelsey Grammer.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Sideshow Bob.
Speaker: No children have crossed the Republican Party and lived to tell the tale.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: It says the bot.
Speaker: The.
Speaker: The.
Speaker: One of the greatest recurring characters on a television show ever, by the way.
Speaker: My God.
Speaker: So she steps on a bunch of rakes, basically.
Speaker: She runs into an animatronic and she's she thinks she's been captured by one and she's not.
Speaker: She just like just bumped into it and she fell over.
Speaker: It's just a costume in the closet.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then Marla basically shakes her out of it, slaps her a few times.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That was the scene.
Speaker: I was imagining the airplane scene of the woman freaking out.
Speaker: There's a whole line of people down the aisle waiting to slap her and snap her out of it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because, yeah, it is it is truly much do about nothing.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: The other thing that happens is they spend a lot of time.
Speaker: And this is the first of two scenes where they spend so much time justifying why they can't get out through the skylight.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: They spend so much time talking about why they can't.
Speaker: Like, well, I guess we could try to break it and be like, well, then we'd have the glass to deal with.
Speaker: And that's dangerous.
Speaker: And that's dangerous.
Speaker: And I'm like, break the fucking hinge.
Speaker: The hinge of the light.
Speaker: And they make a point of like getting into the physics of how the skylight kind of tilts a little.
Speaker: Like it tilts enough that you can get in, but not enough to get out like a crab trap, I guess.
Speaker: Yeah, it's a crab trap.
Speaker: It's a crab trap.
Speaker: They've been crab trapped.
Speaker: And their only hope is carcinization at this point is to evolve into the crab.
Speaker: It's just they just they really need you to know that they can't escape through the skylight, kids.
Speaker: We gotta let you know.
Speaker: And it's okay.
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: We got it.
Speaker: We got it.
Speaker: You literally could have just said, wow, it's like 10 feet and fall far enough for us to fall and be safe.
Speaker: But we can't reach.
Speaker: We can't climb back up there.
Speaker: Yeah, that's all we needed.
Speaker: That's all we needed.
Speaker: No, we get pages dedicated to it.
Speaker: To physics and broken glass.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: They go into Freddy's proper and they find Jason in the behind the stage control room and Jason is all tucked in and, you know.
Speaker: I have right here in my notes, well, that was easy.
Speaker: Well, that was easy.
Speaker: Oh, there he is.
Speaker: There he is.
Speaker: We get a scene with Carlton like inching, inchworming his way across the room in the costume.
Speaker: And then he's like, oh, everything will be fine.
Speaker: And it's like a foreshadowing.
Speaker: So Carlton is going to talk telepathically to one of the animatronic suits coming up.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Just just forewarning you.
Speaker: We're getting some bullshit coming up.
Speaker: We're getting some serious.
Speaker: We're getting some serious bullshit.
Speaker: So in the control room, Lamar, Marla and Jason notice that Bonnie has left the stage.
Speaker: Bonnie's gone.
Speaker: Charlie is out in the open and.
Speaker: is just like walking around freddy's and then she starts getting chased by bonnie so she's you know she's doing the run she's doing the the full-on yeah uh terminator 2 you know policeman run uh what's his name jace uh robert patrick robert patrick yeah yeah
Speaker: just going like this and um uh meanwhile john is locked into one of the other rooms with jessica and you're like oh maybe john maybe he's thrilled as long as he's alone with a woman that he can comfort john's a happy as long as john can get can do some comforting why don't you hold my hand
Speaker: So Charlie ends up getting chased into the bathroom and and Bonnie is banging down all the stalls and looking through the little cracks and all that stuff.
Speaker: And Charlie does the old dipsy doodle where she like goes underneath the in between two stalls and sneaks out of the other one and runs behind Bonnie and back into the.
Speaker: Bonnie's like no idea where Charlie is.
Speaker: This is all happening.
Speaker: Outwitting that rabbit.
Speaker: Outwit.
Speaker: Outrun, out survive survivor.
Speaker: The rabbit.
Speaker: The rabbit.
Speaker: But now Chica is gone.
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: The Chica and her cupcake.
Speaker: This isn't even sexy Chica from Five Nights at Freddy's 2.
Speaker: This is.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Classic.
Speaker: Homely.
Speaker: Chica.
Speaker: No one wants to fuck.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: This is this is Chica.
Speaker: This is Ricensy Chica.
Speaker: You forget about her the moment you leave.
Speaker: Not.
Speaker: What's her name?
Speaker: Elf descendant Chica.
Speaker: Meryl Chica.
Speaker: Meryl Chica.
Speaker: Who's interesting and condescending.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: That cupcake.
Speaker: Whew.
Speaker: Whew.
Speaker: You get into a discussion about politics with that cupcake and she's going to really make you feel bad.
Speaker: Blow your mind.
Speaker: Blow your mind.
Speaker: Among other pieces.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm talking about fucking a cupcake.
Speaker: Welcome to Pixel It, bitches.
Speaker: Wouldn't be the first time.
Speaker: I think my fiance just entered the home as I was screaming at it.
Speaker: I would just fucking figure, wouldn't I?
Speaker: Just pokes her head and be like, um, Phil, can I talk to you for money?
Speaker: I think it's either the podcast or me, sweetheart.
Speaker: And, uh, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Um, meanwhile, Charlie's running around.
Speaker: She's Scooby doing all over the place.
Speaker: She finds Carlton and helps him escape.
Speaker: And it's a real tense bomb defusal scene.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Uh, where she is snapping him out of, of the suit.
Speaker: Um, and she gets him out.
Speaker: It's a pretty long scene, but she gets them out.
Speaker: It takes a while for her to get them out.
Speaker: What are they called?
Speaker: The spring traps?
Speaker: Spring traps, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Any full, smooth,
Speaker: And and he's dead.
Speaker: He's dead.
Speaker: So very tense.
Speaker: Carlton tells her about Michael and the other kids.
Speaker: So basically the it's the the Five Nights at Freddy's story where the killer kidnapped the kids and then jammed the kids into the animatronics and then spring chapped them shut so that the kids got all squishy inside, which is God, that's got to be it.
Speaker: atrocious way to die.
Speaker: It's horrifying.
Speaker: And I mean, it kind of infuriated me a little because it was like this reminder of the stuff that I liked about the FNAF lore.
Speaker: It's like, oh yeah, right.
Speaker: That is a very compelling and dark story they tell through those games.
Speaker: And it just put into stark contrast what we're dealing with with this book.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: It's... Yeah, it's a little bit of a bummer.
Speaker: We can't even muster up, like, righteous indignation over what we're talking about here.
Speaker: That was the sound of Kevin giving up.
Speaker: That was the sound of me giving up.
Speaker: Just a long sigh.
Speaker: Yeah, I guess that happened.
Speaker: Phil, can you please stop cracking jokes?
Speaker: I want to get through this fucking...
Speaker: We're almost done, actually.
Speaker: We're not that far from being done.
Speaker: Because there's like, apparently I got really bored with my notes on the last three chapters.
Speaker: And they're, they're, they're, they're so short.
Speaker: Like chapter 10, those pages and chapter 11, it's like, we'll get there.
Speaker: It's it's it's it's brief.
Speaker: I'm telling you now.
Speaker: Mercifully brief.
Speaker: That one of the animatronics is attacking the room that Jess, Jessica and John are in just banging down the door.
Speaker: I think it's Bonnie at this point is is attacking the room and.
Speaker: Meanwhile, in the other room with Lamar, Marla and Jason, Foxy starts attacking that door and they realize that the door isn't locked.
Speaker: The outer door isn't to the room isn't locked.
Speaker: So they're like, what do we do?
Speaker: What do we do?
Speaker: And Jason's like, I'll fix it.
Speaker: And he goes and he runs to the door and he's just about to like lock it when Foxy bursts in and sinks its hook into Jason's leg.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Pulls him screaming into the darkness.
Speaker: Drags him away by a hook in the leg like.
Speaker: That's pretty brutal shit.
Speaker: It's pretty brutal shit.
Speaker: Now, there is a lot of reaction written into it, into this of like Marla being upset and she's like being weird and all that stuff.
Speaker: None of it felt right.
Speaker: That was the thing about Marla's reaction to Jason being dragged away was her just being like,
Speaker: Oh, OK, I'm just a little upset.
Speaker: You know, this day could have gone better.
Speaker: This day could have.
Speaker: It's not like her like screaming at like running out into the darkness after him or something like that.
Speaker: Something the the thing that Marla up to this point as a character would do.
Speaker: did not happen.
Speaker: And that's why this entire sequence of them trying to pry it out of Marla as to what just happens, which was Foxy fucking sank the stupid sharp pirate hook.
Speaker: Why did they give him that pirate hook?
Speaker: It was just a bad idea.
Speaker: Even if you just suspect that he'd become a murderous rampaging robot demon.
Speaker: Still, just not good thinking.
Speaker: Why give that to him?
Speaker: No need.
Speaker: need none none whatsoever oh gosh anyway um yeah so there's there's pages and pages of of just like them trying to and marla's like everything's fine and lamar's like no things aren't fine you know jason's got taken um
Speaker: Chica then starts chasing Carlton and Charlie and everybody, save for Marla and Lamar, is basically back together.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They're all they're all one happy family.
Speaker: And chapter 11.
Speaker: Shit you not, I have four notes on chapter 11.
Speaker: And the first one is Carlton has a concussion.
Speaker: Yeah, that's going to be his that's going to be more character development than most of the characters get.
Speaker: We get to watch the progress of Carlton's concussion.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We still don't know who the fuck Lamar is, but Carlton's got a concussion.
Speaker: Carlton's concussion gets, the concussion itself gets more character development than Lamar does for the entire book.
Speaker: 100%, yes.
Speaker: As the chapters continue, Carlton's loopy ass concussed self just gets more airtime than anybody else's hopes and dreams in this fucking book.
Speaker: There's Carlton.
Speaker: And then there's concussed Carlton.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Two completely different characters.
Speaker: That's what his dad was talking about when he split personalities.
Speaker: Carlton got a concussion the first day of school.
Speaker: There it is.
Speaker: It's a good book, Kevin.
Speaker: It's a good book.
Speaker: It's a good book.
Speaker: It's right there.
Speaker: You just have to dig.
Speaker: Just really have to dig into that.
Speaker: So I guess Marla and Lamar are there.
Speaker: I fucking, I forget.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: They all get together.
Speaker: They all get together.
Speaker: And they're like, oh my God, Jason's been taken.
Speaker: And then they spend more time talking about the fucking skylight.
Speaker: Yeah, they do.
Speaker: Charlie and Jessica go to check out the skylight.
Speaker: And there's another two pages dedicated to them being like,
Speaker: oh, I guess we can't.
Speaker: And they repeat some of the same stuff.
Speaker: Like, well, you could break the glass, but then we have dark broken glass to deal with.
Speaker: It feels like a moment in an adventure game when you're kind of stuck and you're like, okay, let's retrace some of the rooms and like, all right, the piece of wood doesn't do anything with the door.
Speaker: This playing card doesn't do anything with the door.
Speaker: Just run through your shit and scum through it.
Speaker: The rubber chicken is not working with the baseball.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Babe Ruth autographed baseball on the rubber chicken.
Speaker: And then you're a character.
Speaker: What kind of logic are we dealing with here?
Speaker: Your character, which only had like one line for how something doesn't work, just keeps repeating.
Speaker: That doesn't go with that.
Speaker: That doesn't go with that.
Speaker: That doesn't go with that.
Speaker: That doesn't go with that.
Speaker: That doesn't go with that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, we've criticized many books on this show for following their video games too closely.
Speaker: We've never been in a position to criticize a book for following a completely different game slash genre too closely.
Speaker: It's a completely useless moment.
Speaker: I remember reading it and thinking like,
Speaker: This must have been like, the author must have been like, I'm going to put, we have to talk about the skylight, obviously.
Speaker: And I can't decide whether or not to put it in the beginning here or the end here.
Speaker: And the editor went, fuck it, leave it in.
Speaker: We need another five pages.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's both.
Speaker: Why not?
Speaker: Why not?
Speaker: People talk about things multiple times.
Speaker: It's called real life.
Speaker: Yeah, it's called real life.
Speaker: Something I forgot to mention earlier because I didn't write it in my notes.
Speaker: But when Charlie rescues Carlton officer, the officer, they find officers Dunn's body.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: B, the security guard walks in on them.
Speaker: And C, Charlie cracks him over the skull with a lead pipe.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And sends him reeling.
Speaker: And she is, she spends a long time concerned that she might have actually killed this man.
Speaker: Right, yeah, it's...
Speaker: It's like, you know what, in any other book, I feel like that might be interesting.
Speaker: You know, our hero, you know, worried that they actually may have done damage to somebody, even if it's a person that is trying to hurt them or something like that.
Speaker: But at this point, I'm like, look, we're dealing with 16 year olds playing Scooby Doo in an abandoned showbiz pizza.
Speaker: I don't give a shit about her sudden morality issues.
Speaker: We need to move on.
Speaker: We need to keep it going.
Speaker: And so they go to question the guy and they they Charlie's like, oh, no, he's dead.
Speaker: He's definitely dead.
Speaker: And he's not dead.
Speaker: They they spend like a page waking him up.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then they realize he like won't talk to them to them unless he has the the bunny hat on.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: This happened.
Speaker: This is real.
Speaker: This is real.
Speaker: He's not making this up.
Speaker: Suddenly he won't talk to them unless he has the golden Bonnie hat on.
Speaker: And so they give it to him and they get a whole, this is a whole lore dump about how like the kids and he's a murderer and John punches them at some point.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: John's fucking macho bullshit again.
Speaker: John goes macho man, macho king, because macho man wouldn't have done that.
Speaker: That would have been a macho king move.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: John goes macho king, Randy Savage, and starts beating the shit out of the security guard, who at this point we know is not actually the security guard.
Speaker: Well, we don't know it yet.
Speaker: We're going to find out in a little bit with the most absurd moment in the book.
Speaker: Are you ready?
Speaker: Are you ready, guys?
Speaker: Are you ready, guys?
Speaker: So before we get to that, this is the stuff we already know.
Speaker: The kids were put into the animatronics.
Speaker: If you if you know anything about Five Nights at Freddy's, the kids are in the animatronics there.
Speaker: They were squished in there and their ghosts possess the animatronic machines.
Speaker: And the kids
Speaker: The animatronics are after the group of kids that are there right now because they are the closest thing that resembles grownups and grownups are going to end their fun time or something like that.
Speaker: Yeah, and they're not they're not themselves anymore.
Speaker: Like the kids now as ghostly beings are not they don't have memories of being kids.
Speaker: They're just kind of these weird ethereal ids, I guess.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And the guy, the security guard,
Speaker: says, well, they're after you.
Speaker: They're not after me because I'm one of them.
Speaker: And he's like, you know, well, you know.
Speaker: So he's like, you guys aren't going to survive the night.
Speaker: And meanwhile, meanwhile, we leave the comfort of our Chuck E. Cheese and our our Charles comfort or the dubious comfort of the Charles entertainment cheese.
Speaker: that's right frederick fazbear's um uh pizzeria establishment and we go to uh carlton's dad remember carlton's dad the most useless person in the book just pointless
Speaker: Just just absolute useless person, useless character.
Speaker: He's he's the one who is like, oh, Carlton's just playing a prank on you.
Speaker: He's going to pop up at any minute.
Speaker: Yeah, he's bad and he should feel bad.
Speaker: So he decides, oh, fuck, I'm a cop.
Speaker: I should play.
Speaker: Oh, right.
Speaker: Oh, right.
Speaker: I should actually do some shit.
Speaker: And he starts doing some detective work and looking things up.
Speaker: And it's like, we get a whole, like, you know, it's the end of the usual suspects and the cop is...
Speaker: looking at the board and he's piecing it all together.
Speaker: Wait a minute.
Speaker: Barbershop Quartet.
Speaker: Bonnie is Kaiser Soce.
Speaker: And he sees Barbershop Quartet and he drops his mug of coffee.
Speaker: What's that actor's name?
Speaker: Oh, he's a good actor.
Speaker: Yeah, he is.
Speaker: Chaz Palminteri.
Speaker: Damn.
Speaker: Damn, son.
Speaker: Jesus.
Speaker: Pulled that out of the clear blue sky.
Speaker: Chaz Palminteri is basically sitting there going like, oh my gosh.
Speaker: And it's more akin to Charlie and the Pepe Sylvia moment in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Did you notice?
Speaker: OK, side note, complete side note.
Speaker: Yeah, something I saw somebody tweet this.
Speaker: I have no idea if it's true.
Speaker: But Charlie keeps looking for somebody named Pepe Sylvia, right?
Speaker: We also know that Charlie has been hit in the head a lot and he has some issues.
Speaker: Somebody pointed out that it's never explained in the show, but Pepe Sylvia isn't a person.
Speaker: He just keeps seeing Pennsylvania.
Speaker: Oh, for God's sake.
Speaker: On the envelopes.
Speaker: That's good.
Speaker: And misreading it.
Speaker: That's good.
Speaker: Oh, you know what?
Speaker: Sometimes the internet is a beautiful place.
Speaker: And I'm like, I don't know if that was intended, but that makes a lot of sense.
Speaker: It makes a lot of sense.
Speaker: Yeah, you can't look me in the eye and tell me that doesn't make perfect sense if you just made that full canon.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: That's awesome.
Speaker: So anyway, Pepe Sylvia is looking through the evidence and he figures out that William Afton is Dave.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Mind explosive.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So because William Afton was a
Speaker: big chubby dude, and then lost weight.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: This pissed me off, I'm going to be honest.
Speaker: I don't know all the stuff about FNAF, so I don't know how much this works or not.
Speaker: But when this discovery annoyed me a lot because I got ahead of the book in my head, and I didn't mention this in previous episodes, but when they were talking about
Speaker: Dave and his sagging skin and he's got these scars on him and all that stuff.
Speaker: I went, Oh fuck.
Speaker: Don't tell me that one of the animatronics, uh, didn't use him as a skin suit.
Speaker: And like, he's one of the anima, like you could do that.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: I thought that's where they were going with it's like, Nope.
Speaker: He just, he just lost a lot of weight real fast.
Speaker: It's like, well,
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: Cool detail, guys.
Speaker: Neat detail.
Speaker: Neat.
Speaker: Great.
Speaker: So he figures that out.
Speaker: Then basically the next...
Speaker: A bunch of pages are the kids Scooby-Dooing around.
Speaker: It's just an extended Scooby-Doo sequence without any of the charm.
Speaker: None.
Speaker: This is most of the rest of the book is an extended Scooby-Doo sequence.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You're seeing the 60s and 70s Scooby-Doo.
Speaker: They're going in one door out the other door.
Speaker: It's that with animatronics chasing them around.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's what this is.
Speaker: For basically the rest of the book.
Speaker: For basically the rest of the book.
Speaker: And then Clay gets the hero moment and knocks the door down as a police officer.
Speaker: I have in my notes here, deus ex cop.
Speaker: We just needed to wait for a cop to come and save us, I guess.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Deus ex copia.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: yeah so clay breaks the door down uh and then dave tries to kill charlie and he's like you're not leaving and clay is like oh clay who has a gun i think yeah by the way yeah and what is what do you think he's threatening her with uh what is he threatening her with it's like
Speaker: a knife or it's not, it's not a gun.
Speaker: He's just choking her.
Speaker: Is that it?
Speaker: Yeah, that's right.
Speaker: He's like, I'll just break her neck.
Speaker: Like, dude, come on.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And Clay's like, so he brings, just for everyone's reference, Clay brings a gun to a nothing fight and somehow still loses.
Speaker: Still loses.
Speaker: Clay is the most worthless person.
Speaker: His wife, like his wife, if we are meant to have any respect for him in the next book, we will find out that she served him with divorce papers this night.
Speaker: Yeah, not long, not long after he was served with divorce papers.
Speaker: Yeah, for being completely useless.
Speaker: Like, God, he knows more than everybody.
Speaker: And he's living off of a pension, you know, out somewhere in Iowa.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: By Des Moines.
Speaker: Mailing suspicious packages to local governments.
Speaker: Yeah, he's actually pretty big on the QAnon message boards now.
Speaker: No, fuck that.
Speaker: He is Q. He is Q. That's what we're going to find out.
Speaker: That's what we're going to find out is this.
Speaker: is a fictional character from Five Nights at Freddy's, the Silver Eyes is... We all knew.
Speaker: We all knew.
Speaker: We all knew.
Speaker: We all know it's going to come down.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, we knew he was responsible somehow.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: Charlie takes a little agency back and sets off the spring traps in Dave's suit, which is a great scene.
Speaker: It's pretty cool.
Speaker: It's pretty cool.
Speaker: It basically starts clamping like...
Speaker: So all the animatronic guts of the suit, which are just like sitting against his skin, start getting like jammed further in where they're supposed to be.
Speaker: And it's just like crushing him from the inside.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Terrible design, by the way.
Speaker: Just terrible design.
Speaker: Just the worst.
Speaker: I mean, Charlie, God damn it.
Speaker: Your dad sucks.
Speaker: Dude, your dad could have.
Speaker: He's like, what?
Speaker: How cheap are you that he's like, all right, we're going to have animatronics and we're going to have suits over here.
Speaker: It costs $20 to make the fucking fursuit.
Speaker: So we don't need to risk anyone's lives with these spring traps.
Speaker: That's a fun idea.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Goddamn, he could have just paid somebody minimum wage instead of to wear the fucking suit.
Speaker: Just sew it together.
Speaker: It's not a big deal.
Speaker: Come on, man.
Speaker: Anyway, sets off the spring traps.
Speaker: Michael telepathically tells all the kids things are going to be A-OK.
Speaker: And they leave and it's it's it's.
Speaker: sunset, I think, outside when they get out of there because they were in there.
Speaker: Yeah, they do have a moment where they needlessly discuss.
Speaker: Earlier, they talk about that.
Speaker: It's only 4 p.m.
Speaker: in the afternoon.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And here's the thing.
Speaker: It was such a wasted opportunity because I was I was reading the book and
Speaker: I forget which one of them asks because they're all interchangeable.
Speaker: So fuck it.
Speaker: One of them says, what time is it?
Speaker: And the other one says it's four.
Speaker: And in my head, I went, oh, it's 4 a.m.
Speaker: Five Nights at Freddy's.
Speaker: You got to get to 6 a.m.
Speaker: So they're kind of saying we're drawing to a conclusion here.
Speaker: If you could just hold out another couple of hours, you're going to make it.
Speaker: And then they're like, no, it's 4 p.m.
Speaker: It's like, what the fuck was the point of that?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it could have been a neat little Easter egg to the game.
Speaker: But it just ended up being useless instead.
Speaker: Correct me if I'm wrong.
Speaker: They only did four nights at Freddy's.
Speaker: I think four nights.
Speaker: We were thinking it was going to be five, but I think four.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So for Chapter 13, I took no notes.
Speaker: I just wrote the end.
Speaker: But there are things that happen in Chapter 13.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: John, Charlie tells John that it's not you, it's me.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: John?
Speaker: move on with your life, dude.
Speaker: Jesus Christ, Badoosh.
Speaker: She has been giving him signal after signal.
Speaker: It's actually a super interesting answer that she gives.
Speaker: And it's kind of, but it is kind of like cribbing off of the same thing she talks about with her mother, where it's like the weight of the shit that happened to us collectively is too much.
Speaker: Like we can't,
Speaker: And anything could not withstand the weight of that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Which is like, yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker: It makes total sense, you know, and there's so much evidence for it.
Speaker: And it makes total sense within the world.
Speaker: And it makes sense outside of the world.
Speaker: But I was still in my head going.
Speaker: That's a pretty good excuse, Charlie.
Speaker: Good job.
Speaker: Good job.
Speaker: Yeah, you just nailed it.
Speaker: It's just like, oh, I just couldn't because you make me think of all this stuff.
Speaker: And I just, oh, sorry.
Speaker: Oh, can't do it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They also ask her what they want to do with Freddy's, and she's just like, let it be, or something like that.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: No, it hasn't earned that.
Speaker: I would say bulldoze this shit.
Speaker: Oh yeah, let's burn it to the ground.
Speaker: How about that?
Speaker: How about we turned all this into a green space, right?
Speaker: We have this fucking parking lot with a concrete...
Speaker: abandoned shopping mall.
Speaker: Like, can we just turn this into a ball field or something?
Speaker: With or without psychopathic animatronics, I think we could make a better use of the space.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And by the way, who gives a shit what Charlie thinks?
Speaker: We've got to decide the fate of this abandoned mall.
Speaker: Let's ask this 17-year-old with PTSD.
Speaker: I'm sure that will be an informative decision.
Speaker: That'll be great.
Speaker: Charlie then also goes to a... She goes to the... What am I forgetting the name?
Speaker: Cemetery.
Speaker: I forgot the word for cemetery.
Speaker: The dead place yard.
Speaker: Yeah, the bone orchard.
Speaker: The skull spot.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, she goes to the cemetery to see her dad's grave.
Speaker: And then she has a, I don't know, it's a dumb dream.
Speaker: She has a dumb dream about her dad.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's how the book ends.
Speaker: I don't get it.
Speaker: It doesn't make any sense.
Speaker: Her dad is in part responsible for a lot of this bullshit.
Speaker: So what the fuck?
Speaker: It's literally like them looking, she's a little girl and she's
Speaker: she like sees something in the distance and won't stop laughing.
Speaker: She's laughing at a bird and she's laughing at the bird.
Speaker: And he's like, what are you laughing at?
Speaker: What are you laughing at?
Speaker: And finally he sees the bird and he starts laughing too.
Speaker: And I die inside.
Speaker: The end.
Speaker: The end.
Speaker: The book is over.
Speaker: I have nothing else to say.
Speaker: It's still better than Dead Space.
Speaker: It is still better than Dead Space.
Speaker: I have to point this out because it was driving me crazy.
Speaker: And...
Speaker: I don't think that more of the kids needed to die because the book needed to satisfy some level of my bloodlust.
Speaker: I barely even think that they needed to die because they weren't interesting and it's a horror book and that's what you do.
Speaker: But we have one total fatality.
Speaker: It's with a character we don't know anything about.
Speaker: It's a cop.
Speaker: And the villain.
Speaker: And the villain.
Speaker: Aside from the villain, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, aside from the villain.
Speaker: When in a slasher movie or horror movie of any stripe, you have like that.
Speaker: There's a reason Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street and all those other movies have like eight kids that you're dealing with because you want to see them all get picked off in interesting, gorific ways.
Speaker: That's part of the appeal of horror.
Speaker: And it makes it, you know, it, it,
Speaker: ups the tension, you know, people will die.
Speaker: And even then, even in those movies, we have better developed characters than we did here.
Speaker: And these kids aren't developed well enough to serve any other purpose than
Speaker: other than just like death.
Speaker: And we found him hanging in the closet.
Speaker: We found her with her head chopped up.
Speaker: Like at least if stuff like that happened, you'd go, well, we didn't want to get to know him too well because he was just going to be fodder for Freddy or something like that.
Speaker: But nobody, nobody in this team of kids dies.
Speaker: And I don't know them well enough to give a shit whether they live or die.
Speaker: It's a, we, all right, I wrote it down.
Speaker: Mm-mm.
Speaker: This is, I wrote it down.
Speaker: Our developed characters.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Charlie developed.
Speaker: I think we can, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, we got enough of Charlie.
Speaker: We got plenty of Charlie.
Speaker: Fine.
Speaker: John, writer and scumbag, but I repeat myself.
Speaker: It's...
Speaker: All we know about John really is that he wants to be the first man in line to hug any woman who's weeping and a whaling.
Speaker: He wrote a sad story, I guess.
Speaker: He wrote a sad story once.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Clayton, kind of, I hesitate to say that he's like the team's smart ass.
Speaker: Carlton.
Speaker: Yeah, sorry, Carlton.
Speaker: He only basically becomes the smart ass when he's concussed.
Speaker: And he starts saying loopy, silly things.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: By the way, we never get any level of closure on him being a psychopath in high school.
Speaker: No, we don't.
Speaker: We get nothing.
Speaker: We are told by his father that he was basically a psycho and nothing comes of it.
Speaker: Like, I thought we were setting it up that the dad's in on it somehow.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: He's just like, oh, you can't trust my son because he's a psycho.
Speaker: And no, he ends up being the hero and Carlton ends up being just, you know, another one of the kids that needs to be saved.
Speaker: What the fuck is that all about?
Speaker: Like it just, it was, that was more than a red herring.
Speaker: Like that's a red Godzilla.
Speaker: Like I don't know what that was all about.
Speaker: Jessica we know is pretty, Jason is a child, Marla is jolly.
Speaker: And Lamar is black.
Speaker: Yeah, that's pretty much all we get.
Speaker: What is the extent of the character?
Speaker: Guys, I cannot overemphasize how little development goes into the majority of these characters.
Speaker: You have like 400 some pages and you can, there's no excuse.
Speaker: Kevin, this book is so long.
Speaker: It's so long.
Speaker: It's such, the fact that we were able, like we, guys, you may have noticed, we've been trying to get these episodes into a more clipped kind of.
Speaker: We're trying to do more books and shorter series overall.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: And this was one of the ones that when I really looked at it, you know, a good rule of thumb is if you look at the audio book, for example, all you need to do is look up the length of the audio book because typeface, all that stuff can vary.
Speaker: But if but we're looking at a book that its audio book format is almost 12 hours long, that is a long book.
Speaker: That is not a short.
Speaker: It's one of the longest books we've read on this show.
Speaker: And we still managed to get it into three episodes.
Speaker: Part of that is because we're amazing.
Speaker: Look, that's what you come here for.
Speaker: We're kind of good at this.
Speaker: But the other part is nothing happens.
Speaker: Nothing happens.
Speaker: Nothing happens.
Speaker: You did the work for me.
Speaker: Like, it's just it's unreal.
Speaker: I don't know how.
Speaker: This is allowed to happen.
Speaker: I just, I find it very entertaining.
Speaker: I mentioned this last episode, but I find it very entertaining to go into the Goodreads reviews and see like five stars.
Speaker: People are like, FNAF is fun.
Speaker: I love FNAF.
Speaker: And you didn't read this.
Speaker: And then like the one star reviews right after it, there's like, this is bad.
Speaker: It is pretty much undisputed.
Speaker: You either didn't read this book and as far as you're concerned, Scott Cawthon can do no wrong or you read it and you're like, oh, this is not a good book, period.
Speaker: This is one of the worst books we've read on this show.
Speaker: I just find it, it's just so weird.
Speaker: So Scott Cawthon is listed as an author on this along with
Speaker: Cura Breed Riesley.
Speaker: I think it's just I think it's weird that we we have trouble finding out more about her or some of her other work.
Speaker: I mean, she has a Twitter.
Speaker: Don't go looking for it.
Speaker: You know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Don't don't harass these people, by the way.
Speaker: I don't I feel like our audience is in that kind of people.
Speaker: But no, no.
Speaker: And, you know, the only thing I noticed, though, is she's she's
Speaker: She's a pretty left-leaning political person.
Speaker: She seems pretty cool.
Speaker: Yeah, she seems cool.
Speaker: It's just weird.
Speaker: It's a weird, strange bedfellows.
Speaker: That is true.
Speaker: For somebody like her and somebody like Scott Cawthon.
Speaker: And it's just interesting.
Speaker: I would be curious to know what the writing workload was, whether he basically wrote out the like an entire treatment of of what this was supposed to be.
Speaker: And then it was she was just responsible for, you know, adding dialogue and turning it into a manuscript or something like that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It makes me wonder how the how it was divided.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: It's already an interesting situation we find ourselves with these people where- Because books don't have multiple authors that often.
Speaker: No, not generally.
Speaker: Not generally.
Speaker: It's a special occasion when they do.
Speaker: You get your good omens, stuff like that, you know.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You know, graphic novels, comic books, you know, it's multiple authors because you have the art artists, the inkers, the writer, all that stuff.
Speaker: But in terms of a book, there's usually just one author listed.
Speaker: Now, that being said, you know, when we've talked about this before on the pod, that books, even though books have one author listed, those they the author isn't the only author of a book.
Speaker: You know, they are the person who did the bulk of the tippity typing and stuff like that.
Speaker: But the editor is going to be a major unnamed factor on that book.
Speaker: Yeah, there are.
Speaker: Almost to the extent of that, like...
Speaker: They should probably get a little bit more credit than they do.
Speaker: Way more.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: There are stories galore of writers who got too big for their britches and decided they didn't need their editor anymore.
Speaker: And then suddenly their books started to suck ass.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What a coinkydink, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's sort of like the relationship between a director in film production, a director and an editor where, you know, a lot of times a director will have an editor that they need in order to tell their story.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Martin Scorsese and people like Scorsese and Tarantino.
Speaker: They have an editor that they've worked with for years.
Speaker: I believe Tarantino's editor passed away a few years ago and he's been working on his own since then.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And, you know.
Speaker: we all saw his uh what was that the the los angeles movie oh boy i i want to fuck los angeles with my penis in hollywood yeah um yeah and and that's the thing if there's any director on the planet who needs a good editor it's a man like quentin tarantino jesus christ that man needs an editor for his life yeah
Speaker: We're going to cut the last five seconds of what you just set out.
Speaker: We just don't need it.
Speaker: We don't need it, Quentin.
Speaker: Yeah, so that's it.
Speaker: That's it for FNAF.
Speaker: We're not doing another FNAF book.
Speaker: Probably not.
Speaker: Well, never say never, but, you know, I guess eventually when we have a Patreon, we can pay us gold.
Speaker: If you guys want to pay us to do a FNAF book, we're not free, but we can be bought.
Speaker: We can be bought.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And that's the thing to remember about Writers for Hire.
Speaker: That's how we end up with Kira working, a left-leaning writer working with a right-leaning writer.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Creator.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: So there will be a Patreon tier that just says make us read FNAF eventually.
Speaker: And if somebody if somebody signs up at that tier, then we'll have no reason, no recourse, but to actually break down and read book two in the series.
Speaker: No choice.
Speaker: So no choice.
Speaker: So that leads us to Phil.
Speaker: What are you playing?
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: So tomorrow my new gaming rig is going to be ready and I get to start playing with that and catch up on vampire survivors and all that other good shit because I need a new gaming rig to play vampire survivors.
Speaker: It's in there.
Speaker: You do.
Speaker: I think that that makes sense.
Speaker: Yes, but I did recently beat Uncharted.
Speaker: I really enjoyed myself, had a lot of fun.
Speaker: Naughty Dog still remains one of, their controls have always sucked as far as I'm concerned.
Speaker: I haven't played anything recent or the only real things by Naughty Dog that I've played are Last of Us, the first one and the first Uncharted.
Speaker: So it might just be a matter of it
Speaker: not aging well or something.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But man, I hate the controls, but a lot of fun.
Speaker: And and as I mentioned before, the fun thing about these, you know, console games, keeping up with spectacle and everything, you know, lean back and just blow some things up kind of fun.
Speaker: I kept in that tradition and I started playing Doom Eternal again.
Speaker: Oh, there we go.
Speaker: Yeah, I started that one and something happened.
Speaker: I got distracted and I stopped playing.
Speaker: But man, these the last two Doom games are fucking great.
Speaker: They are amazing.
Speaker: So much fun.
Speaker: So gory.
Speaker: So colorful.
Speaker: It's a it even like it's and it's not even that they're like the easiest games in the world.
Speaker: They're they can actually be pretty tough.
Speaker: But but they just get you.
Speaker: It's like you die.
Speaker: Get back into it.
Speaker: You die.
Speaker: Get back into it.
Speaker: And and
Speaker: It's high energy, fast paced, just dumb, let's blow things up kind of action.
Speaker: But the art direction is fucking insane.
Speaker: Like you get to see, I found myself like stopping several times and like you can see these monster titans in the background and these hellscapes.
Speaker: Holy shit, it's gorgeous.
Speaker: And I have to believe that it is missed by like 75% of the people who played the game.
Speaker: Oh yeah, people are just ripping and tearing until the job is done.
Speaker: Absolutely, absolutely.
Speaker: Rip and tear.
Speaker: Until the job is done.
Speaker: Rip and tear.
Speaker: So that's what I've been playing.
Speaker: It's been great.
Speaker: I've really enjoyed it.
Speaker: That's awesome.
Speaker: Yeah, that's awesome.
Speaker: What about you?
Speaker: So I have been playing.
Speaker: I still have been playing Last Call.
Speaker: Oh, OK.
Speaker: And I'm working my way through the 20th Century Food Court area, doing the puzzles there.
Speaker: Also, dip in between that and Weird West.
Speaker: I've I've finally gotten back to where I was.
Speaker: I had I started playing the game and I was kind of zipping through it.
Speaker: And then I realized, oh, I need to take a little bit more time with that.
Speaker: Look around, smell the roses a little bit more.
Speaker: And I'm glad I did that.
Speaker: I started back over at the beginning and I found a bunch of side quests that I had missed and all that fun stuff.
Speaker: So I'm three fifths of the way through Weird West because I believe there are five.
Speaker: There's five plot lines total that you have to play through.
Speaker: And I'm almost at the end of the third one.
Speaker: So that's cool.
Speaker: And also I'm playing Cult of the Lamb.
Speaker: Oh, that game looks like so much fun.
Speaker: It is fun.
Speaker: So it's like the way I described it to a friend of ours was it's basically the binding of Isaac's
Speaker: but not edgelord.
Speaker: So it's got it.
Speaker: It's your you basically you play as this lamb and you're the last lamb.
Speaker: You're the last of your kind and you're being sacrificed.
Speaker: to the to appease the new gods, I think.
Speaker: And you have to you.
Speaker: And one of the old gods is like, oh, you're not dying yet and like resurrects you and you have to start a cult and you have to kill the bishops of this, this, this religion.
Speaker: At the same time, you basically have to run a little farming
Speaker: like town simulation.
Speaker: That's adorable.
Speaker: It's basically like this animal crossing meets the satanic panic.
Speaker: Oh no.
Speaker: That is right up my fucking alley.
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So, you know, that.
Speaker: That?
Speaker: It's a it's a really cute game.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: And it's one of those games where you think about it when you're not playing it because you're like, oh, I want to get in there.
Speaker: And it's got a lot and it's got a lot of bars and things to collect.
Speaker: And what a little it's it has that vampire survivor.
Speaker: it scratches an itch like vampire survivors does where, where you have things, you're getting things and you're unlocking things and you're achieving things and you're, you're, you're adding new powers and you're making new doctrines all like all the time you're doing something.
Speaker: There's never a moment where there's a real lull in or you have to grind or what have you.
Speaker: Is there an end game with it?
Speaker: There is.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You kill.
Speaker: You have to kill.
Speaker: Kill the four bishops.
Speaker: And then I think there's a God that you have to kill.
Speaker: So attack and dethrone God is the is the end game.
Speaker: And the doctrines are so cool.
Speaker: So that adds a little bit of a replayability.
Speaker: So so the doctrines are what shape your cult.
Speaker: And so you could say, am I am I selling you too hard?
Speaker: I sold you on this.
Speaker: So the doctrines.
Speaker: You get a you get a something called a commandment tablet or like a piece of the commandment tablet or something like that.
Speaker: And every three you collect.
Speaker: it forces into like a commandment, like the 10 commandments type of thing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And you can use that to declare a doctrine for your church.
Speaker: And like the doctrine could be, uh, something that gives your, your villagers like a passive faith bonus or something that allows them to, I don't know, be cannibals and not suffer any penalty for it.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: So that's like that's all the fun.
Speaker: One of the ones that the doctrines that I picked was called grass eater.
Speaker: So early on, one of the dishes that you can serve your people because they get hungry over time is made out of grass, but it lowers their faith and it could make them sick.
Speaker: If you want to, you can take this grass eater doctrine and suddenly there's no penalty for them eating grass and grass is like the most plentiful like thing that you can find.
Speaker: So, yeah, that's that's what I've been playing.
Speaker: And that sounds so much fun.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm going to play it when I get get out of this call.
Speaker: I'll probably get fired up.
Speaker: Yeah, that sounds awesome.
Speaker: Check on my little villagers with my little lamb.
Speaker: My cute little lamb whose eyes glow red when he's doing a sermon.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: I never would have started a cult, but if I was the sort of fella that was inclined to do it, I know I'd be just darling at it.
Speaker: So it's got to be some level of appeal for a guy like me in a game like this.
Speaker: So on that note, we'll leave you.
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Speaker: And all that is fun stuff, let me tell you.
Speaker: That'll do it for tonight's episode.
Speaker: Thank you so much for listening, and have a good night, everybody.
Speaker: Bye.
Speaker: Thank you.
