Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
FistoEpisto - The Little Gargler Workshop
33 Plays1 year ago
Malex Drones solos himself, arse out, at the Little Gargler Workshop…
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction by Malick and Joe
00:00:00
Speaker
It's time for Fisto O'Disto with Malick Strones and Joe Joseph Johnson.
Broadcast from Gagnano, Italy
00:00:37
Speaker
Malick's Drones here broadcasting to you live, well not live, this is a pre-record so it's not a live pre-record, it's a pre-recorded pre-record but I'm broadcasting you from a location you're not expecting because I'm no longer in my secret bunker somewhere in Devonport of Auckland, New Zealand
00:00:52
Speaker
No, I am somewhere south of Milan in the Republic of Italy in a place called Gagnano, which I believe is the lesson for little Gagla, and I'm infiltrating the Old World Order, who are running a conference on pathologising belief in conspiracy theories, like the Phoenicians and the Egyptians are likely to do.
00:01:12
Speaker
So I slept on my disguise kit and I'm here pretending to be a professor by the name of M. R. X. Tenteth and I'm going to give them a talk and what a talk I'm going to give to them because I am going to stand up on stage, bear my arse to them and then pull down my pants. Now I think about that, that makes no sense. I can't bear my arse to them. If my pants are already on, I'm going to go on stage.
00:01:32
Speaker
I'm gonna bare my ass, pull up my pants, and then pull my pants down again, giving them a double arcing that they deserve. Those bastards who are involved in the Old World Order, because I am Malick
Joe's Gardening Dilemma
00:01:42
Speaker
Strand. Now, I'm meant to be joined here by Joe Joseph Johnson, but Joe forgot his passport, and thus when we got to the airport, Joe was not able to get on board a plane. Even with an adequate disguise in hand, Joe was not able to join me. So he'll be doing something, I think some gardening.
00:01:57
Speaker
But whatever the case is, this is going to be live recording, well, pre-recorded live recordings of pre-records or recording of live recordings of what's happening at this workshop in Little Gardiner. We're going to see what the Old World Order really thinks they're up to and how they're going to try to bather our plans.
00:02:13
Speaker
to expose the injustices perpetuated upon us by the ancient Egyptians and the Phoenicians.
Conference Coverage and Mockery
00:02:18
Speaker
I've got so many stacks of paper I'm going to be delivering from this place. I'm going to be getting into the very gusset of everything they believe. This is Fisto Episto and this is the Fisto Episto Chronicles of the Little Gargler. An update on the Little Gargler conference. I'm looking at the the call sheet
00:02:41
Speaker
hosted on the academic world by these people who are funded by the British Academy, the Conspiratorial Aviation and Pathological Belief Project, and apparently also dinner. Oh no, sorry, actually that's on the timetable. Dinner's on the timetable.
00:02:56
Speaker
Yes, I've been keeping an eye on what's been going on here, and there's been some really, really interesting stuff that shows you how deep the Phoenicians are in the philosophical and social psychology world. We had a talk by U.R. Leiker, why a pejorative definition of conspiracy theory does not pathologize a conspiracy theorist. I mean, I think it's self-explanatory. The title of the talk tells you what's going to be in the talk, and obviously the talk was
00:03:25
Speaker
fish. It was a very Finnish talk and frankly I'm surprised by they allow Finnish people to give talks in philosophy.
Presentation Mishap
00:03:33
Speaker
As we all know the Finnish people are responsible for the destruction of the gold standard and also the destruction of the colonies on Mars. Frankly why they allow Finnish people anywhere on the earth and don't know that you've been living under the sea with the Atlanteans and all the other underwater scum.
00:03:51
Speaker
Then we had John Wood and Von Proyen has taught conspiracy theories and polarisation in the time of COVID-19. Yet another paper that maintains that COVID-19 is not simply a form of small punks, which has been given to us by monkeys to make us super intelligent.
00:04:07
Speaker
Why are people covering this up? I don't know. It's presumably something to do with the Old World Order and those pesky Phoenicians. Also, something to do with the moon. I'm fairly sure the moon is involved here, but I haven't quite got that down yet, because the telescope that JoJo's of Johnson was meant to provide us is not with us at this point in time. Then, of course, I gave my pants down talk.
00:04:29
Speaker
pathologizing belief in conspiracy theories and philosophy of the CFO's title because I wasn't going to give a real talk I was here to show those old world order scum exactly what was going so I got up on stage I pulled my pants down then realized I was wearing a second pair of pants due to a very tragic accident in the bathroom earlier that day so I pulled the second pair of pants down tripped over the first pair of pants so I tried to pull the second pair of pants up to do the repanting at the end of the talk
00:04:56
Speaker
and thou face first into a pavlova. I don't know why there was a pavlova here. We're in Italy. I don't know why there's a pavlova at a little Geibler conference. I'm assuming Egyptians snuck that in. It was very, very weird. And then Alexandra Chikaka gave a talk why did narcissists find conspiracy theories so appealing.
Mingling and Escape
00:05:16
Speaker
I was not convinced by this.
00:05:17
Speaker
As someone who's very intelligent and very superior to other people in the world, I couldn't see any link between narcissism and belief in conspiracy theories whatsoever. So, frankly, it all just seems like unkum, and it seems like something which is being made to make people like me look stupid, and obviously I'm not stupid, I'm the most intelligent person in the world, and there's no way that anyone can deny that, particularly people from the UK working at the University of Cairn, who might dare say that Maddox Jones doesn't know what he's talking about.
00:05:46
Speaker
I know a lot of what I'm talking about because I look up words in the dictionary before and sometimes during these broadcasts to make sure that I'm using words like confabulation and periscopic in just the right way. I'm an intelligent person and I cannot believe that people do not understand how intelligent I am. Narcissism and conspiracy theories have no link whatsoever. I cannot understand how anyone would make that link. They must be incredibly stupid and not as clever as me.
00:06:16
Speaker
Anyway, we then had drinks afterwards. It was very pleasant.
Pitching Vitality Pills
00:06:19
Speaker
In fact, I think I liked some of these people and added them on Facebook.
00:06:33
Speaker
on the case. Yes, I've escaped from the little gaggler conference and found myself in a city famous for its parmesan cheese, its parmesan meats and its parmesan people and I've been hiding out there because the old world order wants my head. I told you that I went out drinking with them
00:06:49
Speaker
And I told you that I thought I was being friendly with them, but that was a ruse because I knew they were listening in to these very broadcasts, even though I haven't put them out yet. That is how implicitly subversive the conspiracy actually turned out to be. But I find myself now in a different city, which sounds like Birga Go, and I'm here to tell you the truth of what really happened at the Little Gargler Conference.
00:07:16
Speaker
It was a bunch of academics talking nonsense. Now of course you know academics always talking nonsense. We never appeal to expertise here on Fisto A Pisto. We know the real truth synchronically is our hearts working with our heads with the magic voices telling us what to believe.
00:07:33
Speaker
But I am telling you now, they talk absolute nonsense. They talk about things called generalism. They talk about things called particularism. They talk about things called pathologies, or non-pathologies. All these technical words that have no meaning outside of the dictionary, and certainly no dictionary that I happen to own. So yes, I have escaped two burg a go where I can tell you that the conspiracy's been blown wide open.
00:08:03
Speaker
but I need your help. You need to buy my Vitality Pills, made of course with the best urine, pig's urine, has to offer. These Vitality Pills will make you feel sick, but then when you stop taking them, you will feel so much better until such time you realize the crushing weight of the conspiracy around you, at which point you will need to take the pig piss again. Oh, so much pig piss. It makes the skin so delightfully yellow,
00:08:33
Speaker
and this shows you that you are now glowing with the truth of knowing about the Phoenicians and the Egyptians and the old world conspiracy to control us all. But I need your help stocks are going fast because we have overstocked and then undersold and then cut prices and run out with stock and we don't have enough new stock coming in to cover the old stock. But whatever the case there is a crisis going on and you need to make sure that we don't fall into default.
Financial Plea and Legal Troubles
00:09:03
Speaker
You may have heard there have been some legal issues for Fisto Episto of recent note because in the world of Fisto Episto we say things that people don't want to hear such as accusing people of doing things they claim they've never done and the court claim they've never done
00:09:19
Speaker
and no actuarial evidence has ever actually been found. Sorry, that is the old world order trying to get on my case via the Embrace the Void podcast, always causing trouble interfering with our broadcast. But yes, we have been sued to almost oblivion and thus we need you to buy the pixels in order to ensure that we keep broadcasting. Now you might think that I'm holidaying
00:09:43
Speaker
in Italy and thus I am in no need of money and the fact that I own three yachts, five cars and two houses but I'm telling you that is not enough because the old world order knows where those houses are they know about my cars and they've got lanes against my yachts that they even know where the country of Italy is that is how bad the conspiracy is turning out to be so you need to make sure that I have the ability to continue broadcasting
00:10:11
Speaker
wherever I like on whatever technology I like on any platform I like because as a white man I deserve to be her.
00:10:22
Speaker
the world, and thus it is important for Fisto Pisto listeners to realise that they, like other white men, need to be heard in our society.
Plans for Amsterdam Infiltration
00:10:31
Speaker
So give hard, and give large, and buy that pigspice, drink that pigspice, inhale that pigspice, put that pigspice up your bottom, but make sure you're using the supplements and making your skin turn yellow, and able to combat things like the little gargler conference. But that's not all Fisto Pisto listeners, because even more is happening.
00:10:52
Speaker
Tomorrow I find myself, or will find myself in a future tense, in the country of the Netherlands, also known as Holland, or maybe North Holland or South Holland. I don't know, these foreigners have different ways of talking about things and I don't understand it.
00:11:08
Speaker
Why can't they speak American English like the rest of us? Where I will be secretly putting myself into another conference on conspiracy theories, the second international conference on the philosophy of conspiracy theories. I'd either infiltrated the inner sanctum of the organizing committee, where I will be revealing once again my bottom to a giant audience of people in Amsterdam.
00:11:32
Speaker
and there will be absolutely no drug use involved at all. None at all. I have to say that for legal reasons. For legal reasons, there will be no drug use in Amsterdam at all. I have prepared a statement here. I will not be using drugs in Amsterdam. I will not be doing anything in Amsterdam which contravenes legal codes 54, 56 and 58 of the Texas jurisdiction.
00:11:58
Speaker
Okay, we all know that's a lie. But I had to say that for legal reasons, and this part of the recording, lawyers are not allowed to listen to it. I've just told you, you cannot listen to it. You cannot use this in court against me. Okay, I feel that I've said not enough, but also too much at the same time. So this is Malick's drones and fisto-pisto pissing themselves out with the pig's urine. And we'll see you next time on the flip side. Remember, beware the moon.