Transcript
Speaker: Welcome back to another episode of the Better Contractor Podcast. This is episode 92, and we're going to talk about Brent's four buckets in life. He's got four buckets, or rocks as some people call them, in life that he lives by, and I'll let him explain them.
Speaker: Episode 92, man. and We're getting close to the magic 100 number. Getting close to the 100. That's crazy to me. You guys need to let us know what you want to see in episode 100. We want to do something special. Yeah, and give us some feedback in general. Like, we we want to know what you guys want to hear from as well. So, like, some weeks we think, you know, we get a request. We're like, okay, let's do that one. And some weeks, you know, somebody asks a question, even privately. And you're like, okay let's do that.
Speaker: And then some weeks we're like, what do we talk about? yeah So, help us out. Let us know. We want to hear from you. Yeah. So the four buckets, so faith, family, fitness, and business are the four buckets. So for me growing up, and I swear it was different in the eighties, it seemed like back then it was just like push, push, push to just like make the money, make the money.
Speaker: And maybe it's because I was a child, it stuck out to me more. Maybe it was no different than it is today, but it seemed like back then, And gyms weren't as prevalent back then. Like you like, you maybe had a YMCA in your town or you even had nothing. So gym culture is also different now than it was back then. i didn't realize that. yeah Yeah. Yeah. All your like planet fitnesses and 24 seven fitness things. That's not always been the case. Interesting. Yeah. So I look back and I would, I would see these people like Oh man, they got a lot of money.
Speaker: and I'm not saying this in a mean way, I'm just being bluntly honest, then I would see like, oh, well, they've been divorced two times. Or, hey, their kids don't really seem to be even really care for them. Or you hear the kids talk they're like, well, dad was never present.
Speaker: Or you look at the guy, and you're like, man, but you're like 100 pounds overweight. you know And it's like, okay, you have this bucket that you've poured everything into. so that's where the bucket idea did came from. have this bucket you poured everything into, and that was called business.
Speaker: But... Now you're skipping church because that consumes you 24 seven, seven days a week. Or you're just so tired on Sunday. You're like, i need to have it late. I least at least need to have one day off.
Speaker: Your fitness bucket is at zero. There's nothing in that bucket at all. Obviously your family one, considering that your divorce and your kids don't really want much to do with you. And they think you were an absentee father.
Speaker: is obviously pretty empty. um And then your fate, well, we all did faith. So it was like, man, why don't you pour a little bit into each of those? And maybe that will save you from having a divorce, which will eventually affect your business.
Speaker: Maybe it will save you from health issues that are a result, direct result of being 100 pounds overweight. And maybe your grandkids and kids will like you when you get old. So it very much became a thing. And I don't like necessarily love the word of talking about like balance. Because I do believe if you want to be more than average, if you want to be better than the status quo, you have to do more than what is expected. You have to do more than what is average. So if everyone else is doing 40, you can still do 40, but you'd be you need to be very efficient productive with your 40. There's a lot of people that waste a lot of time. So I think leaning up the time that you have available, being very intentional about it, going all in on those specific hours you are working. But there is going to be times where you got to work more than 40.
Speaker: And I think, but you can't do it at the expense of everything else. And I think that at the day, like the old expression, like the chicken comes home to roost, it happened. thats That's an expression for a reason. And this is no different than that. So if you neglect those others, even though you went all in on your business and maybe it's been successful, our divorce is free and cheap.
Speaker: Guess what? Your business just took a hit now. You were unable to enjoy your retirement because you didn't take care of your health. What was the money worth? Yeah. You go to hell instead of heaven. Was it really worth that on your time on earth? No. So that's kind of what it came from. Yeah. Yeah. At what point in your life did you start kind of realizing like, hey, this is kind of how I live my life and this is, these are the four buckets that i value and these are what I. Probably my life not until we started doing more mentoring where you have like younger people asking questions or people even just noticing like, hey, something's different. um There's a couple of vo occasions. One was a friend I met.
Speaker: eight years ago, and he just had made a comment. He's like, you're one of the humblest people I know that have had any level of success. And I personally don't view myself as that successful, if I'm just blunt. um It's always a few levels ahead.
Speaker: I think that's probably normal for a lot of people. um But so I took it at first as like, we talked about i'm not that successful. But then I'm like, okay, compared to maybe the average.
Speaker: Okay, yeah, it is be thankful for what you got. But it was, I've never met someone more humble. I'm like, okay, I never really thought about it. I've it's never been a thought that's like, how do I portray and how how do had do other people see me? So that was one of the first ones that kind of stood out. And then just doing, you know, we mentor and and on the board and stuff for the CEO program. And with that, you're being questioned by the high school seniors in that program about all these different things. It does just make you realize like, okay, I never really noticed that as a strength if I'm being completely honest. It's just how I've lived. Yeah.
Speaker: But then this also made me even look back. I didn't have like a specific titled mentor growing up, but I was always extremely observant of other people. And I would find people that fit one of these buckets. So they killed it in faith. I knew him from church. I'm like, man, this is actually a godly person that stands out as different. Let's emulate characteristics of that. This person was an amazing dad or grandfather. Let's emulate those quality characteristics.
Speaker: Super fit, you know, so did I meet a ton of people that I felt achieved all four? If I'm being honest, maybe two or three usually. And then in business, obviously. But trying to fill each of those as much as possible became kind of a goal. Knowing that you're going to fail once in a while if you're just being real. Like you're going to let yourself you're to let other people down.
Speaker: But I think just being aware and being intentional that I need to do all four of those. What's interesting about that is you said you were observant as a kid. So you would see those traits that you liked and you appreciated from people. But it didn't hit you that this is how you want to live your life until you started mentoring and helping other people. So helping other people kind of made you realize. Which I've heard people talk about that is is sometimes that's where you actually do as much retro like.
Speaker: leaning into yourself and learning about yourself because some of that stuff, maybe it becomes it's natural to you, you know, depending on the family and just how you grew up. Thankfully, I was blessed to grow up in an amazing family that taught some of this stuff naturally.
Speaker: So that obviously helped kind of create who I was as well. But yeah, I was always extremely observant of patterns and behaviors of other people and and also very aware that when I saw these specific patterns and like these four people,
Speaker: This was sometimes their future. So, which is why I never did drugs and stuff growing up because I saw those behaviors equaled usually this result. I knew where I wanted to be.
Speaker: um So I just chose kind of a black and white decision not to do certain things um because I... In my mind, it was a little bit of a statistical brain, I guess, as well, even, where it was just like 90% of people that do this that that specific thing ends up like this.
Speaker: For sure. So I'm going to try not to do that. Yeah. that Makes sense. Yeah. um is balancing these four buckets actually possible? or How do you go about that? Because it's hard. You hear balance a lot in life, and it's difficult. You do. And the reason I don't necessarily love the word, I understand it The reason I don't necessarily love it is I feel like it becomes an excuse for a lot of people yeah of, well, I'm going to stop exactly 5 p.m. because I have balance.
Speaker: I think it has to be refocused and re-termed intentionality. So I even do this with some of ah the management staff that I directly manage. and And I'm a little bit looser with like their time. like You don't have to be 7 to 4, 7 to 5, whatever it is for each individual person.
Speaker: If you're productive and efficient and you're insanely intentional about the hours that you give, I don't mind if you take off little bit early to go see, like, your your kid's ballgame or whatever.
Speaker: And that's positive feedback we've always gotten, but we also kind of have built that culture, at least in the management staff, um of that. And i have I've had a few people over the years that aren't that way, but they set it up front. We set their salary that way up front and their role and position is different because of that. um But I would look at it more in intentionality than I would necessarily balance. Just knowing that it is going to ebb and flow. So that's the reason I brought the 5 p.m. saying of people like not to work past five or I'm not going before eight.
Speaker: If you never do that when it's required or needed, then that buck is never going to get full. It's just going to stay kind of a low balance. But when you have the day where you're like, you know what?
Speaker: I have most of what I need done today. I have Saturday afternoon with nothing planned. I was going to watch Netflix. My kids ball games this afternoon. So when I say intentionality, I'm saying flip that.
Speaker: Cut out the junk. So cut out the Netflix. It's really brainless stuff. Go see your kids. Leave work early on Friday. Go see your kids' game. Replace those hours if you need to replace them on Saturday afternoon. So I think just be more intentional about the hours you do have. That's fair. So intentionality over balance. Yeah, and I'm big on removing...
Speaker: junk time. So, um, not to say I never have it. Um, sometimes you just need that brain dead time. Like everyone's, we just got Netflix and chill. Um, but I am big on prioritizing where the hours are being spent. So that's fair.
Speaker: Why faith first? Obvious reasons. of If you look, I'll just put it this simply. If you look at like just life in general, if if we're here for 82 years or whatever the life expectancy is, that's 82 years. they have The other one's eternity. So um it's that simple. um And also too,
Speaker: I've had this debate with some people before of like, okay, well, what if it's not real? You're not going to know and I'm not going to know because we're just going be dead. So it doesn't really matter. But no matter what, at the end of day, is it not like the best self-help guru book ever written? Like if you live your life that way, it's going to be a good life. So anyway, to me, it's at the top.
Speaker: because of those things, but also it should guide how you handle all the other stuff. Like if you're truly legit in your faith and you're following and you're leading that example daily, if you're in the word, it changes how you conduct business. It changes have fitness. and you know, our bodies, you know,
Speaker: basically a gift from God, so we should take care of it as our vessel while we're here on earth. And then family, that should conduct how you are as a husband, as a father, as a grandfather, whatever. Or, you know, for the females listening, wife, mom, grandmother. So I think it should guide everything else, period.
Speaker: So it should be the top. That's fair. ah You answer my next question. I was going to ask, how does faith being first contribute to the other buckets? Yeah, yeah. just answered that directly. Yeah. Um, what about moving over to family? How do you protect your family when your business is always trying to pull that time or that effort from that family bucket?
Speaker: Um, so I think with that one, uh, you, you will naturally kind of learn a little bit of what is that quality time. Um, I'm a big believer in putting the phone down.
Speaker: So like when I'm with family, it's on me, but it's on vibrate. And if it just vibrates once, I don't look at it. yeah If it vibrates in a bunch, then i know there's a fire burning somewhere. at least look at it and see what's going on. But for the most part, fully turning off that from your life so that you're fully intentional and present. yep And I used the word intentional earlier and I'm using the word present now. I think that's the other big thing too.
Speaker: I think most people don't have to have hours. I think most people want your best hour. So you see a lot of people like, oh, I spent all Sunday with my spouse whatever.
Speaker: If those eight hours or six hours that afternoon, if it's just like watching TV and just like not really engaging, personally, I'd rather have two hours of like super quality time and then do something else for those six. yeah So I think it's also about the quality of the time spent, but I think it's about shutting off all distractions. You know, I see a lot of people do spend a lot of time You know, there was recently where we were at a ah restaurant.
Speaker: So my wife and I couldn't have our own biological young kids. So it's a little bit of a turnoff to me when I look over and I see, like, these two parents who were gifted with two young kids. And the kids are trying to you know, engage with their parents and the parents is the one scrolling their phone. Yeah. It's hard for me not to say something if I'm being honest. Yeah. Because they don't realize the blessing that they have right in front of them. and But I think, man, if you would just put your phone away, slide it in your purse, put your back pocket, turn it off.
Speaker: whatever, and just be engaged with your kids. You have an hour. It's an hour. There's nothing on your phone that's that interesting. And you're sitting there scrolling your phone looking at someone else spending time with their kid. You know what i mean? Like, come on.
Speaker: You got your own right here in front of you. That's something I've noticed as, I mean, my fiancé and I are now long distance or long-ish distance, I guess. So we went from eight minutes apart to...
Speaker: Two and a half hours. yeah And that's something we've really learned to do is just spend our time, just quality time together. Because it used to be like, hey, what are you doing? Nothing. Let's just hang out and do nothing together. yeah Now we can't do that. yeah So whenever we're together, it's really intentional quality time and I enjoy it. And she does too. Yeah, that was something. So my wife and I, before we got, I guess we were engaged.
Speaker: We spent a lot of years. We dated for seven.
Speaker: Four of those seven, I think, were long distance. So our first two years, we were at the same university. The last two, she switched to a different one. And then we were together. some it Then she went to law school three states away. So, yeah, so we had the same thing for a while. But it did teach us very much to make sure that time matters because it may just be a weekend. It may just be like a Saturday evening and a Sunday morning. Exactly. um So, yeah, it definitely, it's not all bad. It's hard, but it's not all bad it does kind of force you to do that. It's not. And I'm excited to finally, whenever the time happens to live close again yeah or move in and get married. It makes it more special for darn sure. We'll have quality time all the time. Yeah. definite Yeah. It'll be awesome. Yeah.
Speaker: Um, why is fitness important enough to you to make it in the top four buckets? So for obvious reasons first, so obvious reasons being your health matters a lot. I'm old enough now to to realize that that is more important than it ever has been. yeah um When you're younger and you're in your 20s, you're usually naturally all right without doing it. When you get to like your 30s, you start realizing this is probably something I should take care of a little bit more. So its it not I'm not playing total catch up when I'm in my 50s and 60s. So it's partially just obvious reasons like that. For me, it is just as much, I don't know, people talk about it so much, but I don't want to even use the word about my house to explain it. It's almost like a mental health break for me. So, you know, some people like maybe it's getting together with friends after work or going to the bar and having a drink with some buddies or, coming home and i don't even know sit in the front porch for me that break is the gym so like it's not difficult for me to to make that time so i don't want to like beat my drum like oh i go to the gym four five days a week i've done it for 15 years now almost with like maybe a max like a five day or one week break when i like had covid like five years ago um
Speaker: because it isn't necessarily difficult for me. So I don't want to beat my drum if like, it's not hard. Um, there's days, like there's days that it's hard, but for me anyway, um, super important because it it gives me that break. I don't typically, I'm not trying to be on my phone too much when I'm there. I am depends on time ago, but for me, it's that adrenaline rush. The what's the other one that gets flowing? Like when you're at the gym, like,
Speaker: That's the almost like what he craves it. The pump? Yeah, well, the pump for sure. But yeah also, there's some chemical body releases, like the dopamine type stuff. But anyway. did Look that up. Yeah, maybe I'm wrong. Maybe i just told that for somebody. um But it's that for me as well. It's a total mental break for me, and it resets the day for me. So ideally for me, it's a late afternoon workout.
Speaker: And then I'm ready to go for the rest the evening after that. That's awesome. Yeah. um There's so many, as you like to call them, bro-newers that are telling you, screaming on your feed, that entrepreneur entrepreneurship and business should be first. That should be your first thing you do.
Speaker: You put it fourth. Yeah. um Why do you put that fourth? And how is that hard for you to keep it as the last bucket? Um, it is. So I do kind of view, well, it is hard because I'm a very, I'm intrinsically very driven and I love to build. So like, uh,
Speaker: I get a lot of enjoyment after. So for me, even like entrepreneurship of or business, it's not even really necessarily about money. I truly just enjoy creating stuff. So like I've always kind of joked, like even if I retire, probably going build another business or do something for free for someone else. Yeah. Because i just enjoy the process of doing so. i There's fulfillment in that. But at the end of the day, though, you don't take it with you.
Speaker: And for the most part, When you're gone, someone else can take it over. They're going to remember you as the founder, but it's now someone else's gig. With family, hopefully you live on through your family. like I can look back at even ours.
Speaker: you know, the influence that certain people had over the family for two or three generations after that and longer. um In fitness, you know, like I said, you're you're able to enjoy your older years, hopefully. um You know, so, and then, you know, faith, obviously, that has long-term consequences. um But so for me, with the business side, it needs to be fourth because the other three are prioritized, should be prioritized over it. And the other three affect it greatly. So for me,
Speaker: It's important because you've got to have money to be able to, unfortunately, or fortunately, we live in very much a capitalist society. So if you want to travel and do all the stuff I enjoy doing, guess what you've got have? You've got to have some money. So obviously it's important as well.
Speaker: That's awesome. Well, guys, we just talked about buckets for 20 minutes. Um, but I think those are important. I love how Brent has always kind of explained that to me. And I want to do this podcast about it because I think it's cool. It's yeah basically the core values in bucket form. Um,
Speaker: So yeah, as you guys know, if you're a long-time listener, we have a Facebook group. It's called The Better Contractor. It's on Facebook. Go join it. There's 3,400 members now. They're in there just to network. Ask questions. Talk about cool equipment. Just talk about blue-collar things. So they're there to help. Hit that subscribe button, and we'll see you on the next one.
Speaker: See you guys.
