Transcript
Speaker: Welcome back to episode 93 of the Better Contractor Podcast. We're back and we're going to talk about somebody called a bro-preneur. so I'll let Brent take it away on this one. What is bro-preneur? Dude, it's my algorithm or something or there there's that many of them out there. So...
Speaker: a bro-preneur is these dudes online, man, who just, like, push all the time, like, the photos of the watches and the cars and the super, quote-unquote, masculine lifestyle. And... But the...
Speaker: But they're seeking just attention, but they're acting like they're trying to coach and help you. So we just kind of labeled it bropreneur, if that makes sense. I gotcha. Yeah. I mean, this is an entire industry. Like you see, i don't want to name any names, but there's so many influencers out there who this is their business of yelling in your ear, cussing you out, motivating you, like do this, wake up at 4 a.m., m go work it out. um They're all here to grab your attention and want you to want them to be like them, even though they're not necessarily living that life. They're not always who they portray. Yeah. What is that doing to people like us who are just consuming this content? So for me, it kind of started back if you look at just like the issue. So I think there's a lot of positives to social media, obviously.
Speaker: And there are some negatives. And I think some of the negatives are comparison. So I think people are naturally just constantly comparing to what they're seeing online. I think another part of it is people who are just disingenuous online, which is where they're starting to fall into for me. So, you know, like if you're someone, I can think of several who I think are trying to influence online and it is legitimately, I am trying to help others.
Speaker: Like it is a genuine, kind, giving back thing in their heart. Totally cool with that. I'm fine with you doing it for money as well, but I want you to say that's what you're doing. I don't want you to act like you're the other. And I think that's the rub for me is the disingenuousness that I'm seeing online. Or you see someone and they're acting like they've, they're like, there's one specifically I'm thinking of that doesn't have a huge following, but he does make a living off of this. And the person is like a contracting coach.
Speaker: The issue I have with it is he's never actually done a business. Gotcha. So immediately I'm like, man, you you're coaching others how to do something that you've never done.
Speaker: Not saying it's impossible, but are you the right coach for that? And to me, I'd rather learn from someone who's blocked in my shoes and done, actually done the hard stuff. And then you see others who,
Speaker: they act like they've built something and you do research and it's not even really there. Or you, or you see people who maybe haven't done anything at all. They're just a great speaker and they're fiery and they're passionate. And you know, just like you're some of your televangelist that you see, like they're just good speakers.
Speaker: That's great, but be real in it that that's what you are doing. yeah um And I think the issue comes down to, you look at so many people who were just scrolling all the time Well, then you come across these people and where this became a rub for me is seeing people trying to emulate people they see online. There was a business conference event thing I went to a few years ago and I tell the stories like when I got there, these all were like uniquely their own people.
Speaker: They were all driven, they wanted success and they wanted to do better. I love all of that. At the end of the event, all these people are be starting to act like one of the speakers that was there And it just came across like that person's great. That's who they actually are and they're good at it. You're not gonna outperform or outdo them at being them.
Speaker: Find your little pathway, your little niche or who you are, and just own that path. So these people leave this event, and it's just like they're all like mini versions of this person. And for me, that just really rubbed the wrong way. Not at the person that ran the event or the event. I'm just looking at these people like, man, like why – why aren't you able to be you? yeah Like, why are you trying to emulate this other person? So clearly you came here because you just got a dude crush on this guy than you're actually trying to necessarily learn. And that doesn't speak for everyone that was there. i can think of a lot of people who went there and their lives have been transformed in their in their business sector because they took and and actually did what they were being taught.
Speaker: And that's what you want to see there. But it's the disingenuousness in general or the other thing that did it for me too, is there have been people in like that group and other groups I've seen, they just consume, consume, consume.
Speaker: And then there was one specifically that I, we sat on a bus next to at one of these events. And he was just like, literally like this fan girl almost. And finally I just like had enough. I said, what do you do for a living?
Speaker: He's like, well, actually I don't have a business yet, which is fine. You don't have to, you can come here to learn. And I said, how long have you been in this group? Three years. I said, who else do you listen to besides the two people in this group? He named off all the other names.
Speaker: And I literally looked at him. i said, so you've had three years of coaching, but you still haven't pulled that trigger. So that hit it for me. And I can think of a few other names where they just consume and don't do. And I think that becomes the issue.
Speaker: It is. Um,
Speaker: What do you, what do these guys gain out of that? So, I mean, some of them, the top guys, they're making money off the content, but I feel like there's just so many of them on social media. Do you think it's more of an ego thing of just trying to portray themselves as this bro-preneur? I think, I think there's definitely ego involved for some of them. And I think I'll be fair. I think there's some that they're being very genuine and they're trying to help others. And then there's obviously some that are just very clickbait. And the clickbait is another thing that gets on my nerves big time. Because you'll see it, and like to me it's so obvious. You're making this statement for following and for engagement and for hoping that this goes viral.
Speaker: And in this current climate of all like the political stuff, I'm seeing so much stuff that, well, and there's so many experts now in everything. It's as if when you get on Instagram now,
Speaker: that like the CIA and all these different agencies, they no longer just brief the president of the United States. They're actually briefing all of us and we're all experts now and we all owe each other to be able to get online right now and say what we believe are the facts.
Speaker: And I think I have a legalistic and kind of just a black and white brain when it comes to like factual stuff and and evidence. That annoys me too because I'm like, you're speaking so defensively and you know you have a big following.
Speaker: You're doing so much damage with division in this country by acting like you have all this information. You know this is what it is. You're just reading someone else's probably fake news that you saw, putting your spin to it, spit it out there. It does well online because it's viral. It's it's good from that standpoint.
Speaker: Do you really believe it? Or are you just doing it? are Are you doing this for the win? And if you're doing it for the win, but you know it's detrimental to the country or to who you're, you know, that's bad. And don't i don't I don't get along with that. yeah And then also just the amount of people who need to be focusing on their business. Like in the last podcast, we talked about the four buckets. You know, so you have all these people.
Speaker: there's There's so much scrolling and engagement with politics right now. And all I think about is how much of what you're talking about is going to ever move the needle in this country? yeah Like we we need to care. we need to go vote. we need to be involved. Do not get me wrong on that.
Speaker: Do you need to consume all this probably conspiracy theory stuff hours per day? Or should you spend that with your family? Should you spend that on your business? Because at the end of the day you know, Andy Frisella talks about this, like the best way to combat all of that is through personal excellence. And that jives with me. So that is one that jives with me. And that is very true.
Speaker: When we spend all of our time on all this other world stuff and you're not spending on personal excellence, guess who's winning it? It ain't you. Yeah. So I saw someone, I saw an influencer talking about that the other day, actually. I'm i'm consuming this. Yeah. What we're talking negatively on. But um he was saying like the human brain isn't supposed to know every single thing that's going on in the world. Like we just had so many events that are going on right now. Like there's those murder cases. There's this thing that happened at Cornell, like yeah all horribly, terrible, terrible, terrible stuff.
Speaker: But do we need to look into that and just consume and consume and consume? Is is that just going to make us more negative? I think so. And it's all selected news as well. So you look at like the issue of Cornell.
Speaker: I highly doubt that is the only time that's ever happened. yeah Why is that the only time that it's made national news and being blown up? That should be a question we ask. It's worth being brought up if everything in that thing, you know, the news is out so far as of today anyway. If that's all true.
Speaker: it has to, it needs to be a discussion. But the question is, why is this now being a discussion? Like exactly this has happened before back when like the black lives matter stuff was happening. Was that the first time a white cop shot a black suspect?
Speaker: No, but for some reason, when they decided that was newsworthy, that was all that the news was. It's happened since then. You don't hear about it. And it happened before then, but you didn't hear about it. yeah So it's very selective news to get us divided and get us engaged And that's what I'm i'm learning as I get get older to tune some of that noise out. Pay attention so you know what's going on in the world and so you can be active and trying to combat as much of as you can. So we do need to be engaged. So this isn't a call to say, don't care or don't be engaged. yeah
Speaker: We have to be engaged. but know what is worth your time and know what is not worth your time. Yeah. And it's almost like all these news events that are happening recently, like everyone just tries to put the political spin and I'm sure that's always how things have been. Um, I feel like as of the past couple of years, it's been terrible. Like these things don't need to be political. Like they're terrible things that happen. I think everybody should agree on that. Why are we putting a political spin? Well, and we're always just so black and white with stuff too, though. so like, you know, we've mentioned like the Cornell case and the black lives matter.
Speaker: Well, not all white cops are bad. Not all dudes that are in fraternities are bad. Like we're so bad as a country of or as a people of just like black and white in every issue and saying, well, this whole group's bad now because of this. But I think at the end of the day, I think what I'm trying to probably ask for is like, be very cognizant of of the time that you have and where it has been.
Speaker: Protect your time, protect your life, You know, like it's like you said, we only have like so many available hours and so much time in the day, you know, so you need to protect your attention. This is really at the at the end of the is what I'm trying to get at here. That's fair. Going back to that guy you had the conversation with that has been consuming all that for three years and hasn't pulled the trigger. Do you think it's a thing where these people are consuming so much content and comparing themselves to these people where they just get scared? They get cold feet because like they want to be the big guy. They want to be like Andy Frazella right off the jump. I think there's a little bit of that out there too, where people think, you know, because he does have a coaching group and I'm in that one where they, they go to that maybe. And they, there's a little bit of an unrealistic expectation that they set for themselves. Not that Andy has set that they think I'm going to do that like in two years or I'm going to be, you know, but I think more than anything, what it is, it's almost like this paralysis. So they've consumed so much stuff and they, and and and they like, it's almost like a high, right?
Speaker: you will leave those events with a certain light high. You can consume that material and be engaged in it all day long. And I'll admit, you know i don't listen to that stuff often, mostly when I'm driving. So a while back, I took a longer trip, and I listened to like a couple podcasts and a couple other YouTubes.
Speaker: When I got out of the car, dude, I was ready to go. yeah so here's where I want to be careful. I'm not saying there's no value in all of this. yeah I'm saying there is value. I'm saying protect your attention.
Speaker: After that trip, so, you know, we talked on another podcast. I did this in the beginning. I still do it when I drive it myself and listen to podcasts. I have a notebook in my car and a pen. So those podcasts, though, the the goal of those podcasts is not just to us and consume.
Speaker: I go through there thinking, and I did the same thing was with when I was in Arte, or I'm in Arte, and that's Andy's group, is you have these guest speakers, and they get up and they speak. Their goal is not actually to hype you and motivate you. A lot of people go there, and that is what it is for them. The goal needs to be, I'm going to listen to Andy. going to listen to going to listen to so-and-so. I'm going to take two nuggets of wisdom from that speech.
Speaker: And I want to focus on those two things. I'm going to take that home and I'm going to do it in my business. I'm going to do this in my life. That needs to be your focus, not just getting hyped. And I think that's probably my biggest rub. And I can look back even in that group.
Speaker: There's a few examples. Andy's promoted a couple of the guys and had him speak on his new operator standard thing. But They were guys who didn't have a business. And one in, uh, Alex is his name, but like he didn't have a, really a business the first year in RSA. He came there to learn and to grow. Now he probably has one of the bigger businesses inside of that group. That's awesome.
Speaker: But what did he do? He wasn't there to get the hype and the attention or the, the motivation because he already had that intrinsically and and within himself. He went there to learn from two people who have built a big business and try to take that back and implement it in what he was getting ready to start. Yeah.
Speaker: That needs to be your goal. So, I think the opposite of that then is the people who consume that one, then switch to Hormozzi or switch to Bedros or whoever you want to listen to.
Speaker: They all have value, but if that's all you're doing is consuming, you're not going back home and either starting a business and rolling with it, taking it and putting into your own business and saying, what did I just learn from Bedros or what I just learned from this dude? And now how can that help my business? And then executing on it and maybe not consuming for a little while, maybe just executing that one thing. Cause I think also, we also think we can like do 20 different things at once. Like we can listen to 10 podcasts, learn 20 things, and then immediately do all of those. Most likely that's not possible. You probably need narrow it down to a few key things, implement those, maybe put the other stuff on your list that
Speaker: Finish and do and finish those few things first and then come back, consume again and repeat. And I think that's, but I think it's the high chasing, the feeling that they get. Because like of those guys, they are very good speakers and just, it's no different.
Speaker: If you go to a church and you have a really, really fiery pastor, pastor, not pastor, pastor, and you leave church and you're like, I love Jesus. I'm doing this. And then what happens by Wednesday?
Speaker: It fades away. Hopefully you're still doing it, but a lot of people aren't still doing it. yeah This is no different than that. You've got to actually put this stuff in principle to work. But, yeah, my my beef, though, is like the ones who – It is just motivational and a little bit clickbaity. And it's really just to buy their course or their video or or whatever they're trying to sell. It's course selling just disingenuous. I don't like disingenuousness, man. I'm with you. So I don't want to like name any names and talk negative on people. But what about positive? Are there any influencers out there that you're just absolutely loving right now that are maybe a bropreneur, but actually
Speaker: backing it up. Yeah. So we've already name dropped a couple, but you know, obviously Andy's a local guy. I've always liked his stuff. He's, he's honestly probably who kind of got me leaving into this, listening to this stuff at all. Um, and he's one of the ones that's been at it for a long time.
Speaker: My favorite is probably actually his partner, which is Ed Milet. Um, and the reason I like Ed so much, is he, when we talk about the four buckets, Ed will sometimes kind of go there as well. So, like, you know, he does have some podcasts about, like, faith, um fitness. it's ah It's more of a variety. Like, it's not just business only. And and I think I like that because it it is more well-rounded. I don't love the ones that are too political anymore.
Speaker: So, yeah, I would say Ed's probably one of my favorite. Bedros, I've brought up, you know, his – His are not bad. They're a little bit more to the point. um I do like some of Hermoses. I haven't listened to his in a while, but I do like some of his just because they're literally, they're a little bit more pointed than some. Some of them get a little bit lengthy. yeah If I'm on a long car drive, like when I went to Florida here few months back the beginning of the year, my wife slept for most of the trip, so I had 17 hours in the car by myself.
Speaker: okay, let's listen to long podcasts. But usually I want 30 minutes and under. That's fair. That's fair. I like Hormozzi's stuff because it's so straight and to the point, and they're usually titled the correct way where I know exactly what I'm getting into. yeah yeah He's been my favorite recently.
Speaker: um Your attention span, I mean – I feel like ah attention spans are getting lower and lower and lower as time goes on. Is it one of the most valuable things you own? And what I mean when I ask this question is kind of what you put your attention towards is kind of how you're going spend your day. If you're scrolling on reels and you see something motivating, you might be motivated throughout the day or you might not. um What do you think about that?
Speaker: So... I would say on that one, again, it's ok like you said, you may find something like, hey, that's what I needed today. Do you need to scroll for hours to find that? Probably not. No.
Speaker: um So you've heard me talk in the past about having a like ah non-negotiable list of things that you do each day. I'm decent at that. It's probably one of the better. I'm a structured person, but also like to call her outside the lines a little bit.
Speaker: and not have like a rigid, rigid day. yeah But I am very good at like, this is what needs to be done today. I'm going to achieve that, and then I will do other stuff. I think that's probably key, is just being aware that like, if by a year from now, six months from now, a month from now, I want to accomplish X, the next five days or two weeks or one month, 30 days, this needs to happen every single day to get to there.
Speaker: I think having that in mind as you go throughout your day helps you to remove that busy stuff that doesn't actually help you move towards that goal. um I do look at things like those four buckets too. So I do try to divide my day up in that way, in a way. I will usually try to carve out an hour or two for the gym. I will usually try to carve out an hour or two for family. yeah So when you do it that way and you're cognizant of, I need to accomplish these 10 things today, when you start scrolling,
Speaker: eventually your brain says you're losing hours. ye So that means you're working until 8 or 9 tonight instead of 5 or 6 because you just wasted 2 or 3 hours. But I think also just being very intentional with your time and knowing that you're wasting it.
Speaker: Yeah. If someone listening just feels stuck, they feel um stuck and they want to do something, but they just can't. What's your advice to that? Do they go listen to a bropreneur? You can't if that's what works, dude, if that's what works. But then you got to do it, though. You just can't listen to them on repeat. If you're stuck, I would probably say for me, I, that's not something, I'm a very,
Speaker: self-driven person. So this is not something that's is struggle for me. So for me to say to someone who does struggle with that more, here's what to do. For me, it can be as simple as knowing.
Speaker: So you you obviously email me a lot. What's my slogan in my email? Win the day. Win the day. That is actually how I look at things. And the reason being, There's been multiple times in life, you know, and Andy Frisella even talks about this one too.
Speaker: If you win the day, then then what do you win? You win the week, then you win the month, and then you win the year. yep And then eventually what you do you You win at life. yep So i I was that way anyway, but when he, I think it was him, it was Ed, but they said, they talked about that at a conference, but it hit because i'm like, oh, kind of what I'm trying to do.
Speaker: But I think that's big because it just reevaluates your day. If you're stuck on something, you know, Dan and I at work usually you used to have this little thing back and forth. Like, when's the right time to do whatever? He's like, now.
Speaker: I said, all right, let's do it now. So some people, I think we talked about like paralysis. So there's like this decision paralysis and there's like this, all these different paralysis things where you just get too heavy in the thought.
Speaker: And really all you need to do is rip that bandaid off and just do it. yeah And a lot of times, You figure stuff out all by yourself. You don't have to have like everything perfectly in line. And I think in business, that has probably bit me some.
Speaker: But at the same time, it has bit me less than it has bit me. yeah And when I say that, what I'm talking about is you're winning the day. You're still moving that ball forward. So I think for those who's just like struggling to just either have the motivation or to just get started,
Speaker: I hate to be that simple about it, but you just got to start. Stop being afraid to to do it. Stop being afraid to have like the routine. You know, if you've been around me at New Year's, you know, that's another pet peeve of mine is New Year's resolutions, people.
Speaker: I am all about making resolutions and improving yourself. Continuous improvement is probably one of our strongest core values at work and just personally. But it doesn't have to be a New Year's. And more than anything, I want to see you keep doing it. I don't want to be a resolution every single year. Exactly. So it's always kind of driven me a little bit nuts about the gym. But that's also helped me, though, to be, I'm very adamant that I'm not going to be one of those people. So I've tried to also kind of use that as a motivation intrinsically of define what you want to be, but you also need to define what you do not want to be. And I don't want to be a yo-yo-er. I don't want to be someone that like starts and then stops and then starts and then stops it.
Speaker: There's people I can think in my life, I'm definitely not naming names here, where, like, you'll meet them. I only see them maybe twice a year. And, like, one time you meet them and they're, oh, you guys have lost a lot of weight.
Speaker: The next time I see oh, you gained it all back. The next time you see them, oh, you lost all that weight again. I don't want to be that. I want to be the dude that's consistent. um And that doesn't just go with fitness or in weight loss. Like, I want to be like that dude if you email or call at work that consistently gets stuff done for you. yeah Is there going to be times in life where you just,
Speaker: You delay a little bit and you're a little bit off. Yeah, but you shouldn't be like way off. You shouldn't be a completely different person. um You know, you know, my the freshman year of our kids, you know, we went to every ballgame the sophomore year and didn't go to any.
Speaker: It's that ups and downs. I just want people to be consistent. i don't know how I got off on this tangent. No, you're good. Keep going. But I guess my point is, I think, find what you want to achieve, rip the band-aid off, and just do it.
Speaker: I love it. Stop thinking about it. Just do it. Win the day. Stop consuming. You know what to probably do. Consume a little to keep you motivated. Consume for continuous improvement. Core value. But other than that, just do it. Yeah.
Speaker: So. It's when the day is consistent. All the bropreneurs you need to, just find the real ones. That's I'm saying. Find the real ones. There's a lot of fake ones. There's a lot of ones that just want to sell you something and get their follow account up.
Speaker: Find the ones that actually put out quality content and actually content that's even usable. So, you know, that you have like the motivational stuff, which if you need is great. Then there are some that's a lot more like strategic in depth and like, uh,
Speaker: more definitive, like go do this specific thing and that'll help you achieve whatever. So there's plenty of them out there. So yeah, I got homework for you guys. So go to Brent's Instagram. It's Brent Oberlink, just that handle.
Speaker: And I want you to tell us if you think he's a bro-preneur or not. We don't, we don't think he is, but we want to hear from you guys. Um, he's not waking up at 4am and yelling at you guys cause you aren't. Yeah. I'm not going to post it. I get up at 4am every day and I only do it one day a week. So yeah, Go follow him Instagram. Let us know if you think he's a bropreneur. Also, if you've been here before, you know what I'm about to say. Go join our Facebook group. It's The Better Contractor on Facebook. It's a group of 3,400 guys who just want to grow. They want to network. They want to talk about cool machines and hang out. It's a cool spot. So join that and grow and grow with us. Hit so hit subscribe, and we will see you on the next episode.
Speaker: Awesome. Thanks, guys.
