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From Distraction to Clarity: How to Find Hope When Life Feels Overwhelming
54 Plays1 month ago
In this episode, Dan Sanchez, Ridley Barron, Kyle Hess, and Jon Ballard dive into the theme of navigating life's overwhelming seasons and how the church community can support individuals during these challenging times. Reflecting on Ridley's recent sermon and the emotional response it prompted, the hosts share personal stories of struggle, faith, and the powerful impact of being part of a supportive church family. They discuss how feeling overwhelmed, distracted, or discouraged can often be mitigated through spiritual practices, community engagement, and serving others. The episode provides practical steps for reconnecting with God and the church, offering guidance and hope for those struggling with isolation or a sense of disconnection.
Timestamps:
- 00:01 - Introduction and reflection on Ridley's recent sermon and its call to action.
- 01:35 - Jon shares his personal story of facing challenges during college and finding support through community.
- 05:39 - Kyle opens up about his current season of feeling overwhelmed and the support he receives from the church.
- 08:45 - Ridley discusses the weight of ministry responsibilities and how to maintain focus on God amidst busyness.
- 11:00 - Dan recalls his experience with his wife's health crisis and how the church came around to provide support.
- 12:28 - Practical advice for those feeling disconnected and how the church can offer help.
- 16:13 - The role of serving others in shifting focus away from personal struggles.
- 22:28 - Discussion on personal responsibility in forming connections and the importance of being proactive.
- 33:01 - Final thoughts on finding community, staying connected, and the power of life groups.
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Transcript
Introduction
00:00:01
grovehillchurch
Welcome back to the Grove Hill Church podcast. I'm Dan Sanchez and I'm joined here by Ridley, Kyle and John.
Personal Story of Distraction During Prayer Retreat
00:00:07
grovehillchurch
for an episode to talk not about the sermon but the call to action that came after the sermon because if you were there on Sunday or watched online or maybe even listened here on this podcast you know that Ridley shared a personal story of like a current wrestle from just this this last week when you were on your prayer retreat
Challenges of Finding Time for Prayer
00:00:25
grovehillchurch
Ridley you talked about how when you finally slowed down you realized you had been caught in distraction
00:00:25
Ridley
All
00:00:31
grovehillchurch
and that you took some time to refocus. And it's nice that you have that, but sometimes, I mean, i'm I'm really glad you take prayer retreats. I think it's probably good for us to all take prayer retreats, but you know, if you're... You're hustling at work and you got multiple kids and you got soccer games.
00:00:45
Ridley
right.
00:00:46
grovehillchurch
It's like when what day you got to take off, you know what I'm saying? it's It's hard to
Congregation's Response to Overwhelm
00:00:49
grovehillchurch
do sometimes. so So we often get into a place where the call to action, you kind of let a broad so broad sweep of asking if anybody was in a similar place of distraction or overwhelm, depressed.
00:01:02
grovehillchurch
or discouraged or frustrated at an at at a high level, not just like a normal level, but like a high level.
00:01:03
Ridley
It
00:01:08
grovehillchurch
And and man, I got to say it was, as you said, 60% was standing up across all three services. That's just a lot of people.
Offering Guidance to the Overwhelmed
00:01:15
Ridley
really is.
00:01:16
grovehillchurch
And as at that moment, I realized, That's what this episode's got to be about. We got to talk more about this. In order to help people, if that many people are feeling overwhelmed with life on different areas or depressed, then I want to record an episode to offer some more hope, some more guidance.
00:01:34
grovehillchurch
and hopefully show i a possible light at the end of the tunnel or at least some something for them to cling to, which of course we know is Jesus and God, but sometimes that seems like a simplistic answer when you're in the throes of it,
Guests Share Personal Stories of Overwhelm
00:01:47
grovehillchurch
right? So we're going to dive a little bit deeper, but I'd love to open it up to the three of you to talk about, to share a short story of a time when you were one of these things, whether as distracted, overwhelmed, depressed, discouraged, or frustrated, and a dramatic, and ah ah in a big way in your life,
00:02:02
grovehillchurch
and the church came around you and helped you through it. we start I'd love to start with you, John.
John's Experience of Moving and Health Issues
00:02:09
Jon
16 years ago, moving to Nashville as an 18 year old kid who thought he knew what was going on, knew everything, had been involved in athletics my whole life and came to college, wanted to be involved in athletics again and had some heart issues, some physical issues. And my my world kind of got flipped upside down knowing that there was the weight of Man, paying for school, spending X amounts of thousands of dollars and all these things I was trying to carry and I wasn't putting the the the heavy load in the right place. I was trying to carry so much of that on my own.
00:02:52
Jon
And in a sense, I hadn't really found a home church, but I would say a group of guys in my dorm, they would that was kind of the the church before I got a part of a church in Nashville. But you know they really came around me and loved on me well. And again, pointed me to God in a time and a season to where And it's just a tough point in life trying to figure out adulthood, trying to figure out your faith, because a lot of things get tested in that area, especially when you haven't been built up in those high school, the formative years, trying to figure out who God is, what am I doing with my life?
00:03:33
Jon
And those, you know, and the church eventually that I had attended, they came around me. They just loved me well. And let me realize that it wasn't going to be by seclusion that I got better. And by, you know, resting alone with myself, it was me being pressed and pushed into community in a big, impactful way. And so I think that God began to to grow me through that situation. Some physical things that I relied on a little bit too much being taken away from me and realizing that, all right, God's got to be my source in this.
Kyle's Current Overwhelming Feelings
00:04:08
Jon
So yeah, that was definitely a ah ah season of growing and understanding.
00:04:12
grovehillchurch
What were some specific things that they did in order to love you through that season?
00:04:18
Jon
they They love me just by stating that my Life wasn't founded in a talent that I had. It wasn't founded in those things, but it was founded upon more the the spiritual relationship, the vertical relationship that I had with God. And practically,
00:04:39
Jon
they said hard things to me like, okay, dude, get over yourself. you know ah It's were what struggle are you really going through? and And that was even through some very, very serious thoughts in my mind of, ah hey, how big is this heart issue that I was having an actual heart defect or whatever you want to call it, it was they,
00:05:01
Jon
Diagnosed me with athletes heart and I thought you know, it was spells of fainting spells of not knowing exactly what was going to be Physically okay with me and they they looked past that and said hey, yes, we got to worry about the physical but even more so we We need you to be in church whenever you can be. and we We need you to join a part of these men's Bible studies on campus in the dorms every night. Just simple stuff like that and keeping me accountable and continuing to pursue me as I needed to pursue God.
Ridley's Responsibilities in Ministry
00:05:33
grovehillchurch
What about you, Cal?
00:05:35
Kyle
Uh, I'm gonna let you into my current situation. Uh, I raised my hand at the eight o'clock, uh, service, uh, in the aspect of being overwhelmed and tired. and so the tired comes from a lot of the ministry stuff that's going on and Ridley said it perfectly on Sunday, not saying tired, I'm wanting to quit, but just acknowledging that I'm worn down.
00:05:57
Kyle
And so we've also had a lot of busyness in our life with personal family and our household and the lawn is too long right now and we're homeschooling the kids and there's just a lot of things that we're focusing on in my marriage is supposed to be a priority in that and everything's just kind of jumbled together right now. And so I would say currently that's where I'm at and how how the church surrounds me and takes care of me is that even though I'm in the ministry, I'm also connected through life groups, D groups, things like that. the The mentors that are in my class, these two brothers that we're talking to right now, including you, Dan.
00:06:39
Kyle
And so i'm I'm surrounded with godly men that are keeping me in order and keeping me on track, making sure I'm taking care of my wife, making sure I'm taking care of my family, and making sure that I'm connected in a personal quiet time with God amidst all the busyness. Part of the ministry thing is our youth ministry is growing so quickly. I have the opportunity to basically fill every daylight hour with a ministry opportunity. And so I got to find the balance between not doing that, allowing myself to prioritize different areas and then say no to certain things.
00:07:13
Kyle
And it's really hard to say no when there's an area that people could be ministered to.
00:07:14
Ridley
you
00:07:19
Kyle
But if I'm beat down and dead out, I'm no good to those I'm ministering to.
00:07:26
grovehillchurch
and Really.
00:07:29
Ridley
Obviously, this past week has been a good example of it, but I actually just downstairs, we just wrapped up our staff meeting with our prayer requests, our personal prayer requests, and one of the things I shared with them is that as God continues to bless our church and it continues to grow, there's this easy tendency to get very overwhelmed about all the new ministry needs that are there from new ministries we're starting at our church, the need to continue to develop leaders so that everything's not falling on the staff, new families who come in who need to be introduced to what God's doing in our church and those
Dan's Wife's Brain Tumor Diagnosis
00:08:01
Ridley
kinds of things. So it's really easy to get just
00:08:05
Ridley
this burden on your shoulders for all of this stuff that's happening. And I think that's kind of what Kyle's referring to, just some of that feeling that, man, every time I turn around, there's a new need or, and or even the word opportunity, sometimes it's a more positive way to put it, but opportunities can't be a drag on you sometimes.
00:08:19
Kyle
Yep.
00:08:22
Ridley
So yeah, you get this feeling that you're a little overwhelmed. And I think even though last weekend, the prayer treat was very good in the sense that it gave me the right perspective on this.
00:08:33
Ridley
That didn't mean that I was suddenly relieved of all those responsibilities I've been holding. It just gave me a better understanding of what it was I was facing and in this particular season of life. and And for me, it really kind of goes back to the story we talked a little bit referenced on Sunday is where Peter said, you know, um I'm going to get out of this boat. and I'm going to trust you, Jesus. I'm going to follow you.
00:08:59
Ridley
And then all of a sudden, he began to look at everything around him. And the solution was, get your face back on me. Keep looking in my eyes. Don't look at everything else. This morning, sitting reading through the book of Daniel. ah ah I mean, it's only 20, 30 minutes in the morning that I get to do a lot of that sometimes for my own personal sake. But that 20, 30 minutes is really good, because it's a reminder that I'm not in control of this world, that God's plan is going to happen.
00:09:24
Ridley
And I don't have to bear the brunt of all that by myself, just as Kyle and and John have both given you examples. I am surrounded by amazing people starting right inside my own house with my wife, who helps me in such a tremendous way. And then, you know, the men at our church, strongest group of men I've ever been around, they're always very kind and encouraging and supportive and checking on you. And sometimes that doesn't mean that because they do that, it goes away.
00:09:51
Ridley
It just is a good reminder that, hey, I can pick up the shovel and keep going because I'm not doing this by myself, you know?
Importance of Church Community Support
00:09:58
grovehillchurch
One story for myself is when Amy was diagnosed with a brain tumor and it was a random chance occurrence.
00:10:02
Ridley
Hmm.
00:10:05
grovehillchurch
No, she had no symptoms, but from a random eye appointment to go just get new contacts, they looked in her eye and then they looked in her eye again. And then they kept looking and they walked around.
00:10:14
Ridley
Hmm.
00:10:16
grovehillchurch
It's like, Hey, we need to schedule an MRI for you. And then that turned into a very quick, Hey, you have a brain tumor and it's like a golf ball in the back of your head.
00:10:23
Ridley
Wow.
00:10:23
grovehillchurch
And that was scary. but it luckily it ended up being non-cancerous and we haven't had any growth since then.
00:10:28
Ridley
Amen.
00:10:31
grovehillchurch
So praise the Lord, it was the best of the worst. Uh, but still, and anytime you have a surgery inside your brain, it's can cause issues later on.
00:10:41
grovehillchurch
It took some time for recovery. And our church at the time up in Minnesota surrounded us in all the kinds of ways from prayer for a long time in a lot of different ways. I mean, even the elders came over to our house and laid hands on her and prayed for her.
00:10:56
grovehillchurch
But all the practical things from a meal train that lasted for weeks. Somebody took over our laundry for months.
00:11:04
Ridley
wow
00:11:04
grovehillchurch
And people were stepping in and helping in all kinds of little practical ways and ins and outs.
00:11:08
Ridley
It's really nice.
00:11:09
grovehillchurch
And it was just a time. It was one of those seasons where We were emotionally distraught and and people came and helped in all the practical ways and all the intangible ones from prayer and emotional support and counseling and all kinds of things through through the whole thing.
00:11:24
grovehillchurch
so I love the body of Christ because it finds it shows up when you really need it.
00:11:28
Ridley
Right.
00:11:29
grovehillchurch
And I always feel bad when I hear sad stories of people who aren't connected to a body and in a church. And I'm like, you need to start going to church.
00:11:37
Ridley
right
00:11:37
grovehillchurch
that's kind of This is why churches are important. I hear it on Dave Ramsey show all the time when people come in with really, really hard stories.
00:11:41
Jon
Thank
00:11:43
grovehillchurch
And you're like, are you plugged into a church? It's a pretty frequent question I've heard Ramsey ask because there's some times when you're like, yeah, you have no support systems.
00:11:46
Kyle
Hm.
00:11:51
grovehillchurch
ye You should probably be part of the church somewhere. But there's a lot of people out there that are struggling, even in our own congregation, that are part of a church.
Suggestions for the Overwhelmed
00:12:00
grovehillchurch
What should they do right now if they're feeling one of these things, whether it's distracted or overwhelmed, disciplined, discouraged, frustrated?
00:12:01
Jon
you.
00:12:09
grovehillchurch
What's their next step? Maybe they stood up, and now they're wondering, huh, two days have passed now, and what should I do now? What step should...
00:12:16
Kyle
i I start from the basics and move up whenever I'm talking to anybody when they're struggling with anxiety, depression, loneliness. is I ask them, are they personally in a quiet time with God every day? Are they praying? And then I ask them if they're connected with others who are, if they're in a life group.
00:12:35
Kyle
And then I know their attendance on how often they come to church. But those typical those five things are typically the way I go. Because first off, connecting yourself with God through scripture. A study was just put out that if you read God's word one day a week, no change happens. If you read it two days a week, no change happens. Three days a week, very minimal. But if you read God's word four days a week or more,
00:13:00
Kyle
there's massive change in a person's life and according to their anxiety, depression, loneliness. And so when you give more of your week to God, then you give to the world. there's going to be changes in your life. And so it starts with that scripture reading and being connected with him, uh, but then just community being involved in the other, uh, facets the church has to offer.
00:13:22
grovehillchurch
It's amazing, my year.
00:13:23
Ridley
I actually shared with the the staff this morning, I read this this article, there's a new study out that shows that that mental health crisis in the United States that we're having for people who have anxiety and fear and depression, those kinds of things, is actually more closely related to the lack of a biblical worldview than it is to chemical imbalances.
00:13:24
grovehillchurch
and
00:13:45
Ridley
So in other words, people who don't have a proper perspective of the world is based on the Word of God tend to give in to feelings of discouragement, frustration, fear, those kinds of things more commonly. but That's not to say it's a perfect remedy, but there's absolutely something, if I could use the word, something clarifying for your mind's eye.
00:14:08
Ridley
to understand the world from God's perspective, knowing that he has all things under his control, that gives you the freedom to say, hey, I'm i'm not in charge of this anymore. you know i'm I'm okay to just live the life the way he called me to and not have to feel like I'm in charge of making everything happen according to his plan because it's his job to carry out that plan. you know and And the numbers were astounding. I mean, they they broke it down by,
00:14:33
Ridley
people who had a liberal worldview all the way down to people who different ages who saw mother earth or the universe as the the factor. And for people who kind of trusted in that whole mother our earth idea, it was like 40, 50% of them have anxiety, which is, and that's a pretty high number. And most of them, of
Difficulties in Reaching Out to Church Community
00:14:55
Ridley
course, were seeking medical treatment for that. And what they really needed is just an adjustment in their perspective on how the world operates.
00:15:03
Jon
Yeah, I would liken the same thoughts from these two guys. And I do, I think the ah ah cluttered nature of our lives, and we have to fall back and say, hey, we've messed this thing up. Because I could probably look at every one of us and say, man, we've been guilty of one of those areas of cluttering our life.
00:15:28
Jon
I look at my own life trying to figure out, man, what do I need to remove so that I can get focused in and honed in on what God desires? Because keep cluttering and keep adding things to the plate, then I'm never gonna allow God the time that he deserves.
00:15:46
grovehillchurch
It's like when these things hit us, the the frustration, the distraction, the overwhelm, it's almost a warning sign that something has shifted out of at a place, that more and more of your life is not being on the rock.
00:15:55
Ridley
Right.
00:15:58
grovehillchurch
It's kind of being built on the sand and you need to readjust back to the foundations like you were talking about, Kyle, getting back to you like, well, like, have I shifted away from the habits that I know are good for me?
00:16:01
Ridley
Yes.
00:16:09
grovehillchurch
And maybe this is the warning sign that I i need to readjust again in order to come back to that.
00:16:14
Jon
And I wanna add into Kyle's point just real quickly in those questions that he formally asked in succession from one to the other. Yeah, people that are involved with the areas of discipleship at Grove Hill Church or any church for that matter, doesn't mean that they're negated from going through tough stuff.
00:16:37
Ridley
right
00:16:38
Jon
But I would say a lot of the times when we look at that, whether it's the 60% of Grove Hill Church or any other church, man, there's probably a really strong number of those people that are saying, man, I'm going through it. I don't know what to turn. And it's those same people that say, I don't have time for you know, someone to mentor me into what it looks like to be a ah ah Jesus follower.
00:17:03
Jon
I don't have time for the life group. know, I'm doing this. And so it's the trade off. Like, what are you going to make your master? Are you going to make Jesus your master? Are you going to make these things that are so temporal and they wear out so quick?
00:17:13
Ridley
Yeah.
00:17:17
grovehillchurch
something i've found before are those who are struggling alone and they they feel like they're alone and they feel left out, they feel excluded, even even though they go to church every week.
00:17:29
Ridley
Yeah.
00:17:29
grovehillchurch
I remember experiencing this once when a a a friend actually gave us kind of a backhanded comment after Amy's brain tumor, and we were telling her about the the the lengths that the church was coming around us and celebrating it.
00:17:42
grovehillchurch
And she said a snarky comment like, oh, like, isn't it sad that it took a brain tumor to get the church to huddle around somebody? I remember just staring at her and being like, uh, you got some hurt.
00:17:57
Ridley
yeah
00:17:57
grovehillchurch
But she was also a person that I would say was kind of reclusive. Like she didn't reach out to a lot of people herself, but had an expectation that people should be reaching out to her more.
00:18:08
grovehillchurch
And I think she was quietly struggling, maybe, maybe not distracted, but maybe in depression, probably overwhelmed.
Advice on Seeking Relationships in Church
00:18:15
grovehillchurch
and frustrated with the church wasn't doing more to reach out to her. What would you say to people that feel like that right now?
00:18:23
Ridley
Yeah. I probably don't even get this quote right. And there's nobody ah ah alive that could probably correct it for me because it's the sole guy that used to go to my church years ago when I was in high school. One day he just, I don't remember what we were talking about, but he looked at me and and as an old country man would do, he said, just because you go to the dance doesn't mean you're going to dance with a girl. And I looked at him and said, what do you mean by that? He said, you can show up at church all you want to, but until you reach out to other people, nobody's going to reach out to you.
00:18:52
Ridley
You've got to be actively seeking relationships with people. So just showing up in the environment of a church doesn't automatically activate this feeling of participation. You've got to be willing to be transparent with people. You got to be willing to engage with people. You got to be willing to cross the room and reach out to people and introduce yourself because everybody else in the room is just as nervous as you are about making those relationships. So be the person who initiates that and you might find out you get to go home with the girl after the dance.
00:19:20
Ridley
Not literally.
00:19:23
Jon
I think it's, yeah, to Ridley's point. It's not an indictment on those people who have been, you know, missing that mark and they're going to church and they're doing that, you know, hey, I'm going to church and I'm not getting what I thought I was going to get. I think once you pull back the layers,
00:19:42
Jon
you just making them aware that it's more than just the Sunday. This is the relationship. It's not the religion that you're seeking and that really, you know, I think Christ continues to echo throughout, you know, the New Testament as he shows up on the scene. It's, you know, I want the one-on-one relationship and again, not an indictment on them, but I think as we reveal to them as a church,
00:20:06
Jon
what it looks like when you go beyond just the Sunday into the discipleship groups, into the the life groups or community groups, whatever those things look like, you will open yourself up to a whole new world as far as going through the circumstances that aren't always easy.
00:20:27
Kyle
We had a ah ah lady at our old church and she missed two weeks in a row for being sick. And she left the church because nobody reached out for her in that time. And there may have been some you know missteps on our part for not noticing and and not reaching out and not you know identifying that she was gone. at the same time, when a conversation with her was had with her, she was asked, did you let anybody know you were sick?
00:20:53
Kyle
And she said, no. And so I think sometimes we have these conversations in our head that you know we're going through something and nobody's reaching out and nobody's doing this, but 99% of the people in our church are approachable in any situation. And so if you're struggling with something, if you're going through something, if you're sick and you're gonna be missing, reach out and and say, hey, I'm sick today, but I'm praying for you.
00:21:17
Kyle
and the church service and I'll be watching online. And so there is a responsibility on the on on the person to reach out.
00:21:22
Ridley
yeah
00:21:25
Kyle
I think a lot of times what we hesitate to reach out or get involved is there might be say a sin in our life. And so it prevents us from getting close to people. because if we get close to people and get that accountability, and those people are probably gonna call us out on that. And so there's like there is this arm's length connection that people will do to the church and that's really damaging to your relationship with God.
00:21:49
Ridley
Yeah, and what I've seen over my years in ministry is that about 90% of the time when people do what Kyle just described, it's because they are secretly testing the the church. Let's see how they respond to this. If I'm gone three weeks, to will they even miss me?
00:22:03
Ridley
Well, if you're having to do a test like that, that probably means you've never connected with anybody in the first place.
00:22:08
Jon
Yeah.
00:22:08
Ridley
if you're If you're legitimately doing what these guys are describing, you know, for a matter of fact, if you're not there, people are going to miss you because you are a part of the
Encouragement for Introverts
00:22:17
Ridley
church.
00:22:18
Jon
Yeah.
00:22:18
Ridley
You're not just something that's list existing alongside of the rest of the body. You are a part of that body.
00:22:26
grovehillchurch
I want to say something about like the introvert extrovert conversation, because there's a number of people that are introverted and I think like, would probably want more friends probably want more people to reach out to them because there's there's a fear of man component to introversion.
00:22:40
Ridley
move
00:22:41
grovehillchurch
And I'm speaking to somebody who's an introvert. I think a lot of people think I'm an extrovert because I'm here talking on the podcast, which seems like an extrovert thing, but trust me, I'm an introvert.
00:22:49
Ridley
Yes.
00:22:50
Kyle
Yep.
00:22:50
grovehillchurch
You met me in person, like shook my hand. You probably kind of got that drift already.
00:22:53
Ridley
I will affirm that.
00:22:56
grovehillchurch
But maybe because of the podcasting, I think people have an expectation that I'm an extrovert. But I've been at that place where I've wanted people to reach out to me because I was too afraid to make the connection. I was afraid of coming off as needy. I was afraid as coming off. and like I just didn't even know how to do it. I was like, how do I introduce myself? Do I just like enthusiastically shake everyone's hand? like i like what what What do I do here?
00:23:19
grovehillchurch
And honestly, I think it's because I've always been an expiring extrovert. I'm not an extrovert, but I've always aspired to be one anyway, so I have a desire to be more extroverted.
00:23:29
grovehillchurch
I've taken comfort in in two things as an introvert. One, it's okay to be silly and make it full of yourself until you get used to it.
00:23:35
Ridley
Mm hmm.
00:23:38
grovehillchurch
I don't know. I wish that I do wish I got that from the Bible, but I actually got it from this quote around some play writer wrote like I learned how to ride a bike. I learned how to speak like how I learned how to ride a bike by making a fool of myself until I got used to it.
00:23:50
grovehillchurch
It kind of gave me permission just. Go and ask people questions and introduce myself and be silly without and not be ah and be OK with it.
00:23:58
Ridley
Mm hmm.
00:23:59
grovehillchurch
And if I am kind and friendly with enough people, even though some people might not. return that friendliness and kindness. Eventually, I'll make a lot of friends in the process anyway. But at the end of the day, got a lot of us get trapped in this this like persona of introversion. Like, I'm an introvert, that's just how I am. When it's like, well, you could come out.
00:24:25
grovehillchurch
You don't have to be like that. You don't have to be, you don't have to be defined by that word introvert. You can actually go and do the things extroverts do or just become a more healthy introvert.
00:24:35
grovehillchurch
I'd probably say, and practice and fail and get better and slowly make your way towards being more personable, making more friends and
00:24:38
Ridley
Yeah.
Personal Responsibility and Behaviors
00:24:43
grovehillchurch
getting out there a little bit more.
00:24:44
Ridley
Yeah. I think what you're describing, which is really important, Dan, is that we we can acknowledge things about ourselves, our personalities, and even about our past, but those are not life sentences. If a doctor looks at me and says, you suffer from anxiety, I don't have to let that define me. I can change that by changing my worldview.
00:25:06
Ridley
if a doctor says you've got ADHD, don't let that define you. Learn how to focus and and and train your thoughts to do the right things. Uh, if you're an introvert and I, I love introverts, but man, too many of them use that as an excuse because you can speak just like anybody else can. Uh, and I promise I've never once in my life read a story of an introvert dying from open in the mouth.
00:25:34
grovehillchurch
I might die on the inside, but they come back.
00:25:35
Ridley
Yeah, they had a thousand deaths on the inside.
00:25:41
grovehillchurch
So I wanted to finish off with one question because you guys all work in ministry, so you have had a number of people come to you probably asking for help, asking for all kinds of things.
00:25:52
Ridley
him
00:25:53
grovehillchurch
But I'd like you to share some of the things that people have come to you and you're like, eh, you should probably fix that on your own. Or that's, that's not a people coming around you to help. Like that's a, you should handle that on yourself. And then if this, then maybe you need some help, but what are some of those things that people often come asking for help when really they just need to look in the mirror, take a look at like fix it themselves.
00:26:17
Kyle
I might be taking a little side path here, but sometimes it sounds insensitive. But sometimes people just look at themselves way too much.
00:26:28
Kyle
And so something I encourage people to do is one thing I'll know right away is they're not serving.
00:26:29
Ridley
No.
00:26:34
Kyle
And so if they serve, they realize that there's other people's in need as well. And it shifts their eyes off of maybe little personal problems that they have that have become larger problems.
00:26:44
Kyle
and see the major need of others and it'll kind of shift their focus to a others focused rather than self focused and can change their mindset pretty quick. if you're If you're struggling with something, go cut someone's lawn and and serve them practically and just see how your day turns out. I guarantee by the end of the day, your mindset has completely changed.
00:27:07
Ridley
Uh
00:27:08
grovehillchurch
a good word.
00:27:09
Jon
Yeah, perspective. Perspective matters a whole heck of a lot. And again, like Kyle said, we we don't put ourselves in that.
00:27:20
Jon
We don't want to because we always want to keep the, you know, I say always very often the Americanized way is how am I doing?
00:27:28
Ridley
-huh.
00:27:30
Jon
And whenever we get that focus off of us and onto obviously others, you know, going back to the the ultimate commandment in Scripture, you know, love God and love others. Secondly, you see that concept of God wanting that direct relationship with Him and then loving others. Nowhere in Scripture does it say, love yourself first. And I think we get that way, way off in Americanized culture that
00:28:03
Jon
loves for you to think that it's all about you. So yeah, I think telling people that in ministry is tough sometimes, but I think when people get the concept and when it starts to click and they get their mind off of it as far as their problems, they're in a better place a lot of times.
00:28:24
Ridley
Probably all three of you are not old enough to remember the Bob Newhart show. yeah i Remember the Bob Newhart show? Bob Newhart just actually died a couple months ago. Great comedian had a major stuttering problem, but he overcame it to become a great comedian. Had several actually TV shows that were on for a while. He had this one skit that he used to do. It was about 10 minutes long where he played a professional counselor. And a lady came in to see him one day and I'm going to condense it way down, but she comes in, she says, I've got this problem. She tells him what it is. I can't remember exactly. Maybe, maybe it was some addiction. I don't know what it was, but he looks at her and he says, okay, you ready for my answer? And she says, yes. Should I get out a piece of paper and a pen? He said, you're probably not going to need it, but you're welcome to. So she said, okay. She pulls out a paper pin and he said, stop it.
00:29:10
Ridley
She said, what? He said, stop it.
00:29:11
grovehillchurch
I have seen that skit so far.
00:29:12
Ridley
Just stop being stupid. Stop doing what you're doing. You're the only person who controls your behavior. You're the only person who controls your attitude. Just stop it. And she said, how much is this going to cost me?
00:29:24
Ridley
He said, five dollars. He said, and that's all you need to know. I think there's a lot of times we like to play the victim because that releases us from responsibility for who we are.
Serving Others to Alleviate Struggles
00:29:36
Ridley
But being a little more more serious and a little more spiritual about it, the most powerful word in our psyche sometimes is no. We control our lives. And when Satan comes to tempt us or try us or cause us to struggle, we have the ability to look at him and say, no, I'm not falling for that trap. I am a child of God. I was redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christ. He came and died for me. He loves me eternally. And there's nothing you can do to take me out of this. I refuse to play this game. I'm just going to stop
00:30:07
grovehillchurch
If you're listening to this, you got to go Google it. This is the funniest kid. It's on you because I have seen it.
00:30:10
Ridley
It is a pretty nice gift.
00:30:12
grovehillchurch
It's a really funny. but it's true. Like sometimes, and I don't know. I think what you started with Kyle can like get to get your eyes off yourself. If it's not like one big thing, like a job loss, a pretty intense illness.
00:30:28
grovehillchurch
or a major family thing or like there's things, and there there are many, many reasons why but like you need extra help in a certain season, but a lot of it can be a added up to a lot of little things.
00:30:39
grovehillchurch
And then us being misaligned on what we should be focusing on or what our habits currently are, being out of scripture and things like that. And then just the focus, like we ended the podcast last week the purpose driven life.
00:30:51
Ridley
Mm hmm.
00:30:51
grovehillchurch
It's not about you.
00:30:52
Ridley
Right.
00:30:52
grovehillchurch
And oftentimes it's amazing how things shift in our depression and discouragement.
00:30:54
Ridley
Right.
00:30:57
grovehillchurch
can shift when we actually start to focus on others. And that might be a good percentage of people right there. I know it's often me when I'm feeling that way. I just gotta to get off my, I just gotta focus on others, my family, my kids, or the community, or church, or something. Gotta go pray for somebody.
00:31:15
Ridley
your eyes back on Jesus, man.
00:31:16
grovehillchurch
Yep.
00:31:17
Kyle
i think I think a major thing we look for is to be productive in our lives. and When we're not doing something productive, then our value goes down, our worth goes down.
00:31:25
Ridley
yeah
00:31:25
Kyle
and so I just go back to John 15 with the vine and the branches where he says, if you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. and so It goes the same for the church as well.
00:31:36
Kyle
If you're involved, if you're connected, If you're attending, if you're serving, connected in a discipleship group, to connected in a life group, you start seeing fruit. And so when you see that fruit come out of your own life that that that God's doing through you, it's an encouraging thing. And so that that tired discouragement, lonely depression, that stuff fades away when you're actively involved in the body of Christ.
00:32:05
Ridley
yeah
00:32:07
grovehillchurch
I could almost see it as a troubleshooting step checklist right there. First, are your habits aligned? Deal with those. Still still discouraged and frustrated and and depressed? Well, focus focus on somebody else.
00:32:20
grovehillchurch
Are you focusing on somebody else and you've got good habits? Okay, talk to somebody. i Go pull other people into it and see what's going on. And from there, other people can start getting involved
Importance of Community Groups
00:32:31
grovehillchurch
and pointing you in the right direction.
00:32:31
Ridley
Yeah. Yeah.
00:32:34
Ridley
yeah
00:32:34
grovehillchurch
Talk to a friend then talk to elders and you know go to church staff and start to start asking for help there And we'll we'll be able to help you out.
00:32:42
grovehillchurch
So is there anything anything else you guys like to finish with?
00:32:47
Jon
I'll make a plug if you're not a part of one of those. in car
00:32:52
Ridley
There's the man to talk to right there.
00:32:52
Jon
and and and anybody i Honestly, I'm definitely thinking there's probably someone that has watched this podcast that isn't a part of our church that may be watching from somewhere else across the country or whatever.
00:33:06
Ridley
Right?
00:33:07
Jon
get a part of community. You will never regret being a part of community.
00:33:09
Ridley
Yes.
00:33:12
Jon
You may go through some hard stuff. They may call you into some hard stuff and say hard things.
00:33:15
Ridley
Yep.
00:33:16
Jon
But I think Jesus said some hard things to us too. And it calls us to a place of restoration. I think it calls us to a place of renewal.
00:33:27
Jon
And again, you won't regret it. Promise that.
00:33:32
grovehillchurch
in life groups, right? Almost forgot life groups.
00:33:33
Jon
yeah Yeah, yeah.
00:33:34
grovehillchurch
That's a big part.
00:33:34
Jon
As a part of Grove Hill, yeah, life groups, we believe that they're the backbone of of our church.
00:33:35
grovehillchurch
They didn't like groups. Start with them. Yeah.
00:33:41
Jon
If we don't have that, it's it's tough.
00:33:41
Ridley
and And I think that's something we have to be clear about. Even showing up at church every single Sunday does not make you connected to a church.
00:33:50
Jon
Yeah.
00:33:50
grovehillchurch
yeah
00:33:51
Ridley
there There's a line you have to step over because I can ease it out of a stadium of 70,000 people. That doesn't mean I have 69,000 friends.
00:33:58
Jon
Yeah.
00:33:58
Ridley
There's got to be a place where you extend yourself to somebody and they extend themselves back to you. And that's the only place that a relationship really begins. so Find that life group, find that discipleship group, make those connections in a Bible study.
00:34:11
Ridley
You still need to come to church, but if but do all that other stuff and you'll start to find some.
00:34:15
Jon
Both and.
00:34:16
Ridley
Yeah, and both and.
00:34:18
grovehillchurch
Well, thank you, gentlemen, and thank you for listening to this podcast.