Transcript
Speaker: Well, greetings there, my fellow people.
Speaker: I hope everyone listening to this podcast is doing very fine and dandy.
Speaker: Thanks so much for tuning in.
Speaker: It's great to have you joining us on this fine morning, afternoon, evening, whenever you find yourself listening to this podcast.
Speaker: This is Pure Teach coming at you once more from Belgium, and I'm currently melting away because of what experts here are calling unprecedented news.
Speaker: temperatures, which are probably an average day for most Americans.
Speaker: But it is warm and I am joined with the one and only Dr. Conservative Prof. How are you doing, Prof?
Speaker: Doing really good.
Speaker: I'm tired, though.
Speaker: Very, very tired.
Speaker: But I'll wake up eventually.
Speaker: Are you melting out there as well or how's the temperature?
Speaker: You know, the temperatures where I'm at are 78 degrees, which is not Celsius, by the way.
Speaker: It's the proper measurement of temperature, which is Fahrenheit.
Speaker: But I will say this weekend I was in Dallas and I did melt while I was in Dallas.
Speaker: I'm not melting right now, but I did.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Did you happen to meet up with Skull Crazes?
Speaker: He lives in Texas, right?
Speaker: I did not meet Skull Crazes.
Speaker: I met Surf Duck.
Speaker: We spent an afternoon together.
Speaker: It was fantastic.
Speaker: So he's a South Dakotan because he lived here growing up, moved down there 40 years ago.
Speaker: So he's been down there a long time, basically his entire professional career.
Speaker: And Surf Duck is an engineer.
Speaker: Even though he's an engineer, he's actually a really good guy.
Speaker: It's hard to believe, but you'll likely
Speaker: You like that?
Speaker: So an engineer and the accountant got to hang out on a Sunday afternoon.
Speaker: So he works for Lockheed.
Speaker: I don't think that's a secret.
Speaker: And he helps design the canopy on an F-35 Lightning.
Speaker: And so the fighter jets.
Speaker: They make these fighter jets in a suburb of Dallas.
Speaker: And that's where he works.
Speaker: So he was able to get me in it, plus a couple of other people that he knows.
Speaker: And we did a tour of the factory for about an hour.
Speaker: We got in there.
Speaker: And this factory is more than a mile long.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: We got to see various F-35 lightnings in various stages of production from just a jet engine here, a pile of wings over there to basically one all put together, but they're still putting all this stuff together.
Speaker: And we can see all the, uh,
Speaker: innards of them with all the wiring.
Speaker: You see a couple of them with their 20 millimeter cannons attached inside of them, which is, I'm like, can we test fire?
Speaker: No, I was told no.
Speaker: So unfortunately.
Speaker: Oh, what a shame.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What a shame.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I kill all the fun over there.
Speaker: And to get to this place yet, you had to show your IDs and there's two levels of security.
Speaker: And the first guy you meet is carrying a shotgun.
Speaker: So you kind of take things seriously.
Speaker: So when they say no phones allowed inside, you're like,
Speaker: Yeah, got with shotgun.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Yeah, okay.
Speaker: I'll keep my phone in the vehicle and not go inside.
Speaker: But that was a lot of fun.
Speaker: We really had a good time doing that.
Speaker: Lockheed's been making airplanes for a very long time.
Speaker: So the factory in the 1940s was building B-24 Liberator bombers.
Speaker: So there was a few pictures of those and stuff like that.
Speaker: The P-38 Lightning was made by Lockheed.
Speaker: Kind of just a historic company.
Speaker: And I do have some breaking news for you, Tiege, though.
Speaker: Breaking international news.
Speaker: Maybe I'm spilling some state secrets when I say this, but we did say, so when they're building these lightnings, about half of them are built for the US.
Speaker: The other half are built for essentially our allies all across the world.
Speaker: And this is my breaking news, Tish.
Speaker: One of them had the British flag on it.
Speaker: So there is at least one being made for England.
Speaker: So there you go.
Speaker: Probably be flown by some guy named Mohammed though, most likely.
Speaker: But anyway,
Speaker: Touché.
Speaker: Touché, sorry.
Speaker: And they put windshield wipers out in that one since it rains all the time.
Speaker: So I don't know if they did or not, but I'm just teasing.
Speaker: But it was a lot of fun.
Speaker: And then after we did the tour, he took me to Real Tex-Mex.
Speaker: Absolutely wonderful restaurant.
Speaker: It was so good.
Speaker: It was just maybe the best fajitas I've had in my life.
Speaker: Ooh, fajitas.
Speaker: Ooh, fajitas.
Speaker: Ooh, fajitas.
Speaker: Ooh, fajitas.
Speaker: Ooh, fajitas.
Speaker: Feast your eyes on the new fajita grilled stuffed burrito from Taco Bell.
Speaker: Oh, fajitas.
Speaker: Think outside the fun.
Speaker: Man, it was so hot there.
Speaker: It's hotter than I'm used to.
Speaker: I mean, I could handle it, but it was hotter than I'm used to.
Speaker: That's for sure.
Speaker: Yeah, it's more of a humid hot than what I get.
Speaker: Yeah, it was a good time.
Speaker: I saw reports that the U.S. is, they don't call it a heat wave anymore, do they?
Speaker: It's some sort of a heat dome or something.
Speaker: Whatever gets the masses riled up, whatever, that's what we'll call it, apparently.
Speaker: But I call it summer, and I call it climate and weather.
Speaker: Yeah, because there's this thing called El Nino, the Pacific Ocean, that impacts weather patterns.
Speaker: And the Earth is spinning, and it's moving around the sun.
Speaker: And the sun has things called flares and stuff like that.
Speaker: All those things actually just kind of make weather.
Speaker: Yeah, it's funny how that works out.
Speaker: It's the same over here as well.
Speaker: They've got this very scary looking map of Europe that's in these very dark colours showing temperatures which are the equivalent of about 93 degrees Fahrenheit.
Speaker: So yeah, the temperatures are going to get up to about 40 degrees in places in Spain, which is like 104 Fahrenheit, I think.
Speaker: So that's pretty warm, but it's not unheard of.
Speaker: And if you look on the same map in the UK, it's like...
Speaker: in the late 80s, which for the UK is pretty warm.
Speaker: And a lot of British people are freaking out about that.
Speaker: But I guess that's just a Monday afternoon in Dallas, probably.
Speaker: It is a Monday afternoon in Dallas, 104.
Speaker: That's just called Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So another story for you regarding Great Britain or England.
Speaker: I was in Dallas to do a weekend residency for an MBA program.
Speaker: And all the students in this program are international.
Speaker: They're all in the U.S. on F-1 visas, so they have to be a student to be in the country as opposed to walking across the Rio Grande and just say, hey, give me benefits.
Speaker: But these students are good.
Speaker: They're real.
Speaker: They have great jobs, very, very, very respectful and hardworking.
Speaker: And they all want to be a part of the American dream without a doubt.
Speaker: And they're just working their tails off to get a degree.
Speaker: Yeah, it's great.
Speaker: But they had two from England, two from Manchester, the Manchester area.
Speaker: And so I was like, well, why did you come to the U.S.?
Speaker: What was your reasoning for doing this?
Speaker: And they both said instantly, the weather.
Speaker: Got tired of being cold and rainy year round.
Speaker: So one lives in Florida.
Speaker: The other one lives in Texas.
Speaker: They both were like the weather and they love living in the south where it's hot.
Speaker: So, yeah, they escaped the weather apparently from England, northern England in particular.
Speaker: Well, Manchester is near what's called the Pennines, which is like this, it's called the backbone of Britain.
Speaker: It's like a series of mountains that runs, if you look on a map, that runs kind of in the middle of the UK.
Speaker: And it does impact the weather, definitely.
Speaker: And that's where they used to make and grow cotton or cotton, I think, because it was always so damp.
Speaker: It was the ideal location.
Speaker: So it is a pretty renowned, miserable part of the UK.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The weather.
Speaker: But interestingly, my parents have just returned from a vacation in the southwest of England in a wonderful part called Cornwall, which we call the West Country or the English Riviera because it is very, very far south.
Speaker: further south than Belgium, if you look on the map.
Speaker: And they had, yeah, probably, you know, mid to late 80s, really, really nice, just comfortable weather, not too hot, not too cold.
Speaker: And they had a really good time there.
Speaker: So, you know, it's not all grey clouds and rain and cold.
Speaker: There are some nice places weather-wise, but, yeah.
Speaker: But over here at the moment, it is very warm.
Speaker: I think tomorrow it's going to be...
Speaker: into the 90s here.
Speaker: So we don't have air conditioning.
Speaker: So it is quite warm, but I like it.
Speaker: It's nice to have some good weather.
Speaker: Yeah, I do have air conditioning and I really like it.
Speaker: Yeah, so we had fun, didn't we, last week, Prof, talking with Robin, and she was talking about her podcast, Beyond Parody.
Speaker: So I think we forgot to mention on the podcast, do go and listen to that, by the way, and do subscribe to it.
Speaker: It's really entertaining.
Speaker: We had a really good chat with Robin, and...
Speaker: Yeah, during the process, we also had a conversation with the one and only Bat Knight.
Speaker: And so it turned into quite a long podcast.
Speaker: So we decided to split it into two separate episodes.
Speaker: So we're going to shift over now to the prior recording we made with Bat Knight.
Speaker: And Kurgle will also be joining us for that.
Speaker: So it was a fun conversation.
Speaker: You'll learn a lot about Batman and quite a few other things, if memory serves correctly.
Speaker: We had a good chat with him, didn't we, Prof?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And spoiler alert, Bat Knight wears Spider-Man underwear.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: It's hard to believe, but I think it's true.
Speaker: I'm not sure we mentioned that on the recording, but he was talking to us with a Spider-Man t-shirt on, wasn't he?
Speaker: Yes, he was.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I may have embellished by saying Spider-Man underwear, but...
Speaker: Yeah, we decided to turn it into two episodes.
Speaker: So yeah, we'll dive straight into that conversation.
Speaker: We hope you enjoy it.
Speaker: And as always, it's another opportunity to get to know someone from the community.
Speaker: And if you've got anyone else you think that we should talk to and get on here, let us know.
Speaker: We're going to try and make some more room over the course of the summer to maybe bash out one or two more episodes.
Speaker: So let us know and just leave a comment.
Speaker: And yeah, we hope you enjoy the conversation with Batknight.
Speaker: We are joined by someone who's very well known in the Babylon Bee headline forum.
Speaker: I think he's a part headline submitter, part-time vigilante, all meme.
Speaker: He's sharp with the punchline.
Speaker: He's always brooding in the comments and probably recording this from a cave beneath his garage.
Speaker: So please welcome to We The Beeple, the forum's dark knight himself, bad knights.
Speaker: Hello, Bob.
Speaker: Bat Knight!
Speaker: Bat Knight!
Speaker: Hello, Bat Knight.
Speaker: Hello.
Speaker: It's great to have you on.
Speaker: Thanks so much for giving up some of your time to be with us.
Speaker: Yeah, no problem.
Speaker: We're always happy to try and shine a light back into the Headline Forum community and get to know the wonderful subscribers one at a time, which can take a long time.
Speaker: But tell us a bit about yourself that night.
Speaker: How did you find the bee?
Speaker: How long have you been around now?
Speaker: And let's take it from there.
Speaker: I guess to start, like how did I find the bee?
Speaker: Man, I've kind of known about the bee since it kind of came into existence.
Speaker: I probably discovered it when I was in school, just like people posting on social media, just like these headlines.
Speaker: And of course, at first I saw it and I was like, this is too like ridiculous to like be real life.
Speaker: And then I find out, oh wait, they're satire.
Speaker: That's how I kind of discovered the bee.
Speaker: It was just kind of like, I saw their headlines here and there, but I never really got into it until maybe about,
Speaker: three years ago or something like that.
Speaker: No, actually it was the podcast that got me into it.
Speaker: And then I actually joined the forum back in 2022 when, you know, Twitter shut them out and everything.
Speaker: And so I was just kind of frustrated.
Speaker: I was like, there's no justice here.
Speaker: And so then I, I was like, well, I can do my part to support the B. So I did.
Speaker: And, you know,
Speaker: The first, it was just, you know, being part of like watching the behind the scenes podcast and everything.
Speaker: And then I didn't feel like I was too qualified to like make headlines.
Speaker: I mean, I wasn't, I think that witty in writing at the time.
Speaker: I just kind of started posting headlines about stuff I wanted to like make fun of, like everything I love.
Speaker: So, yeah, that's pretty much how I got started on the B. And it's been quite the trip from here.
Speaker: One thing, what stuck out to me, what you just said about how you like to make fun of things you love.
Speaker: It is much easier to make fun of things that you love.
Speaker: The best headline material almost always comes from something that's close to us and it's just interesting how it works out that way.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: It's like because you're so close to something, you're also very aware of all its flaws.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And like with comic books, superheroes, all things nerddom, like because I've been so involved in it my entire life, I'm very aware of its flaws and...
Speaker: It's so fun to make fun of it because in a way it almost wants to get people kind of interested in it.
Speaker: It's like be so like stupid and ridiculous.
Speaker: I have to know why it's so stupid and ridiculous.
Speaker: And then you get into it and you're like, oh man, this is actually way better than I thought it was.
Speaker: people kind of think like, do you even like superheroes or something like that?
Speaker: Like you keep making fun of how like stupid and ridiculous and for like how much they're made for children.
Speaker: Like, I mean, they're just a bunch of people that put on tights and they go around and they like punch people in the face and they're like, and that's how you solve your problems, kids.
Speaker: So do more of that.
Speaker: It's so dumb.
Speaker: But yeah, these acts in time, there's just something so appealing about it.
Speaker: It's just kind of like in a world so deprived of justice, you kind of just want to throw on a costume and go out there and punch somebody.
Speaker: I think besides of all the superhero headlines, I post a lot of Star Wars related headlines because it's just such a memeable franchise.
Speaker: There's just so many glaring plot holes and so many things you just...
Speaker: Like you can make almost any headline nowadays and like somehow convert it into Star Wars.
Speaker: I just like how.
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: Seven, seven degrees of Kevin Bacon.
Speaker: Seven degrees of Kevin Bacon.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Somehow, some way you can relate something back to Star Wars.
Speaker: I think like the whole Iran bombing, everyone has been making fun of that Star Wars stuff.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, enough said about all the spinoffs and, uh,
Speaker: Everything that Star Wars is, oh man, it's the same with the Marvel universe as well.
Speaker: I was talking with some of the guys over in the writer's room recently and we were complaining about some of the latest Marvel movies and there's just this new one now with Harrison Ford being the Red Hulk movie.
Speaker: I just got like, I think like 10, 15 years ago, I would have been really excited to see Harrison Ford as a Red Hulk.
Speaker: But now I'm just like, meh, I'd rather just binge watch an old series from 15, 20 years ago.
Speaker: Yeah, I haven't seen the last few Marvel movies yet.
Speaker: I haven't either.
Speaker: It kind of peaked and now they're kind of just whatever.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I will tell you what was good though.
Speaker: Go see How to Train Your Dragon.
Speaker: Oh, the live action one?
Speaker: Yes, it was so good.
Speaker: So good.
Speaker: The live action that isn't really live action, but is computer generated live action.
Speaker: Oh, I thought they had a real dragon.
Speaker: You just ruined it for me, Tizh.
Speaker: Spoiler alert.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Thanks, man.
Speaker: I think they talked about this.
Speaker: I remember when Ethan Nicole worked at the Bee on the podcast, he would often complain about the live action.
Speaker: It's like with The Lion King.
Speaker: It's a live action movie, but it's actually all computer generated.
Speaker: Yeah, it's all CGI.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: I think there's like one scene in it, which is real, and that's like a backdrop or something.
Speaker: The rest is just completely generated by computers.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I hate the whole live action thing.
Speaker: It's like, for some reason, everyone's afraid to do animated anymore.
Speaker: I guess it's, I don't know, maybe there's something appealing about seeing things in live action, but it's like some things are just made like, you know, be animated because you can do whatever in animation.
Speaker: Like, things can be ridiculous and over the top in animation, but you can't pull that necessarily off in real life.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: My problem is if all things are equal, I like live action better than cartoon.
Speaker: And so in a normal world, I would love seeing all these live action remakes, but the problem is they mess them up.
Speaker: Yeah, that's true.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Normally, Bat Knight, one of the things we like to ask our guests is the origin of your username.
Speaker: But I guess listening to you talking, it's kind of obvious why you chose Bat Knight.
Speaker: But is there any other particular reason that you can share with us?
Speaker: Yeah, I guess it's just I go with Bat Night because, you know, it's the amalgamation of like Batman and the Dark Knight.
Speaker: That's really what I think I came up with the actual username.
Speaker: See, if it was back in 2022 that I joined, the Batman movie had just come out and I probably had just seen it.
Speaker: And like it was...
Speaker: I had Batman just hot on the brain.
Speaker: I love Batman.
Speaker: I've loved him since I can remember anything, really, to be honest.
Speaker: I've just been completely fascinated with him.
Speaker: I've grown more appreciation of the character over the years more than any other comic book superhero character out there.
Speaker: He's just...
Speaker: He could be super serious.
Speaker: He can be a joke.
Speaker: He can be in space.
Speaker: He can be punching muggers in an alleyway.
Speaker: He could be a jerk.
Speaker: He can be a family man.
Speaker: He can be anything you want him to be because he's Batman.
Speaker: So that's kind of like where it comes from.
Speaker: I've just got like this...
Speaker: endless fascination with the character.
Speaker: If you told me though, like my parents when I was like a kid, like I was going to be way into Batman when I was older, they probably would have thought you were ridiculous because like I was all into Star Wars as a kid.
Speaker: Like Star Wars was like the thing.
Speaker: for me.
Speaker: Like, it got to the point when I was a kid that, like, my parents banned me from saying anything Star Wars related anymore because, like, I would just, I would be just, like, playing with stuff and they're like, stop saying Star Wars.
Speaker: People are going to think you're weird.
Speaker: And I'm like, okay, Space Wars.
Speaker: And here's my light sword.
Speaker: I will slash all the bad guys with it.
Speaker: I kind of, with UT, it's like, you know, Star Wars just kind of
Speaker: I think it kind of like drifted a while.
Speaker: Like they didn't have anything for a while after the movies and all the animated stuff was all right.
Speaker: And then they came out with all the new stuff.
Speaker: And that's pretty cool to certain degrees, except like Acolyte and Andor.
Speaker: But Batman has just been like, it's been consistently good.
Speaker: Like I might've started off like just a little bit of Batman and then just like maybe about 13 years old, I was just like all into the character.
Speaker: I was like, Batman all the way, Batman everything, Batman the coffee mug, Batman the blanket, Batman the video game, movie, everything.
Speaker: Everything was Batman related.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You've been talking about Star Wars as well.
Speaker: That reminds me, I think I really need to interrupt this podcast to mention, and I think this is something Prof will be particularly excited about, Spaceballs 2 has been announced.
Speaker: I heard about that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Are we all familiar with Spaceballs?
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Oh, yes.
Speaker: I just hope they call it Spaceballs 2, the quest for more money.
Speaker: I hope so.
Speaker: They should.
Speaker: I think they did talk about that because I saw a brief clip on social media with, is it Mel Brooks who was in the original?
Speaker: And he's in his 90s now.
Speaker: He's alive, yeah.
Speaker: I think they talked about that.
Speaker: Yeah, he's still around.
Speaker: I'm really looking forward to it.
Speaker: I just hope content-wise is not too bad.
Speaker: We'll find out, I guess.
Speaker: Yeah, not too raunchy, not too crazy.
Speaker: I just hope they make fun franchises, much like they did in that opening crawl.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: There have been like three Batman reboots.
Speaker: There have been like a sequel trilogy and a prequel trilogy and a whole bunch of other stuff we don't want to talk about.
Speaker: Make fun of Live Action Remix by Disney.
Speaker: Do that.
Speaker: Oh, yes.
Speaker: I do hope it's good.
Speaker: And I'm hoping the, cause the, and Rick Moranis is coming out of retirement, I think to, to star in it, isn't he?
Speaker: And it's.
Speaker: Oh, cool.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I heard he was meant to be, cause one of my favorite movies growing up was, has a very special place in my heart.
Speaker: Honey, I Shrunk the Kids.
Speaker: Love that movie.
Speaker: That was like, yeah, such a cool movie for me at the time.
Speaker: I love that movie.
Speaker: And I'm not so sure about some of the, the sequels, but they.
Speaker: Honey, I love the baby.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But apparently he was going to do a remake with, oh, what's his name?
Speaker: The guy that did the voice.
Speaker: He's everywhere.
Speaker: The guy that did the voice for Olaf in Frozen.
Speaker: I can't think of his name.
Speaker: Josh Gad.
Speaker: He's been in loads of stuff.
Speaker: So he was going to star in a remake called Shrunk.
Speaker: And Rick Moranis was set to return to that as well.
Speaker: And then for whatever reason, the movie got canned.
Speaker: So that was really disappointing.
Speaker: But yeah, I'm seeing a lot of stuff in the news.
Speaker: I mean, there's been a whole load of stuff circulating about Rick Moranis for a while about how he exited Hollywood to take care of his kids after his wife passed away.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And everyone has a huge amount of respect for him.
Speaker: So I'm hoping it's going to be fun to see him on the big screen again after what, I think it's been like nearly 30 years.
Speaker: Yeah, very long time.
Speaker: Yeah, I've always liked him.
Speaker: 97, I think, was his last movie.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Can we bring John Candy back to life?
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: That would be fun.
Speaker: Some of the classic 80s movie legends.
Speaker: Oh, he's the best.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I love my 80s movies.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Because they're older than you guys, so I appreciate them very much.
Speaker: Yeah, but I think they're making a comeback now, right?
Speaker: And then I think Gen Z are kind of big on the Gen Alpha as well now.
Speaker: I think they're kind of big on the 80s scene, I think.
Speaker: Bat Knights, what generation do you belong to?
Speaker: You're younger than us, I think, aren't you?
Speaker: I'm technically Gen Z. I was born in the late 90s, so.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I could be your father.
Speaker: Oh, gosh, that's a scary thought.
Speaker: That night I'm your father.
Speaker: Can't be true that my parents were dead.
Speaker: That's nasty.
Speaker: So yeah, that night I was just having a look on your profile here over on the B and yeah, like you said, you joined back in 22 and you've had three published headlines and three featured headlines.
Speaker: So congratulations.
Speaker: That's really cool.
Speaker: I'm not sure if it's one of those or a combination that do you have any, any favorite headlines that you've submitted published or, or, or otherwise?
Speaker: Oh, I feel like a lot of them in certain ways are, are my favorites.
Speaker: Uh,
Speaker: I don't think anyone has posted more Chet Skatington headlines.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I've actually had Kyle Mann tell me in a comment section on one of those premium articles that I could be the real life Chet Skatington.
Speaker: That's how many headlines I've posted about him.
Speaker: I could see that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like it was when the, the J six movie came out and like, you know, he's the main character in that, like he's an actual B character come to life.
Speaker: And so they were like, yeah, ask us anything.
Speaker: And I was like, can I be the real life Chet skating?
Speaker: And he was just, he just went, sure.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: So I have not let, I've just lived according to that since then, just like I am like the real life jet skating.
Speaker: I have so much interaction with teenagers nowadays.
Speaker: So like, yeah, I kind of am like, I'm kind of cool.
Speaker: I know what those kids want.
Speaker: I'm like lit or whatever.
Speaker: Lit.
Speaker: Have you ever thought about being a youth pastor in real life?
Speaker: I had thought about it as a kid, just because I had such a tight-knit youth group, and our youth leader when I was a kid was just incredibly awesome, really kind of shaped how I make jokes, how I view the Bible, how I do all these things.
Speaker: And so I was kind of like, yeah, I should
Speaker: I should definitely be a youth pastor when I grow up.
Speaker: And it was something my dad told me that kind of dissuaded me from doing that, not in a bad way at all, but like kind of put things in perspective is like, when I told him I want to be a youth pastor, he was like, so why do you want to do this?
Speaker: Do you want to do it because you want to do it?
Speaker: Or do you want to do it because God has called you to do it?
Speaker: And in that moment, I was like,
Speaker: think it's just because I want to do it.
Speaker: I guess that's not a good reason to become a youth pastor.
Speaker: And so like, uh, I've been involved in youth just like at my church, uh, in a local ministry, uh, around where I live here, like interacting with teenagers, uh, just because like,
Speaker: everything in the culture is bad for like jen's ears and everything i just kind of want to be a shining light like like how the the bat signal shines up into the sky and it lets everyone know that everything is all right unless you're an evildoer it's kind of like how i want to be to these kids so yeah have you ever used one of the chet skatington headlines that you posted have you ever used one of those to explain something to one of the kids at your church
Speaker: I have not used one of the headlines.
Speaker: I have, however, in one of the first times I got back into teaching teenagers, I did make an Uncle Ben analogy.
Speaker: I was just trying to relate the lesson to them.
Speaker: I was like, so, you guys know the origin of Spider-Man, right?
Speaker: And no one knew the origin of Spider-Man.
Speaker: I was in a room full of 20 to 30 teenagers.
Speaker: No one knew how...
Speaker: who Uncle Ben was, how Spider-Man came to be.
Speaker: And I was like, I weep for this generation.
Speaker: How can you not know that Peter Parker is Spider-Man because he's responsible for getting his uncle killed because he's a selfish jerk face.
Speaker: That's terrible.
Speaker: What is our nation going?
Speaker: Can I suggest something for the vet night?
Speaker: I could see a happy medium for your career melding the Babylon Bee with potentially being a youth pastor.
Speaker: You should change your name to the Bat Nightington, and you could be a little bit of both then.
Speaker: So just FYI, just want you to think about that.
Speaker: Yeah, just merge them together into this amalgamation that's never been heard of, never will be again.
Speaker: Correct.
Speaker: Superhero.
Speaker: Babylon Bee subscriber.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Subscriber and youth pastor by day, but diehard vigilante at night.
Speaker: Yes, exactly.
Speaker: Then you have to commit to the gravel voice, hey?
Speaker: Yeah, I've been trying to work on my Batman voice, trying to figure out which one works best in me.
Speaker: Because, like, I mean, there's the Adam West voice, there's, like, the Christian Bale voice, there's the Kevin Conroy voice, and then there's, like, Robert Pattinson's voice, and they're all slightly different.
Speaker: Ben Affleck doesn't count, because, like, he uses a voice changer for that.
Speaker: That's cheating.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He doesn't count for anything, so it's okay.
Speaker: Yeah, he doesn't.
Speaker: I don't even remember most of the stuff that he was in.
Speaker: I hate those movies so much with him in it.
Speaker: I've just repressed them.
Speaker: They never happen in my life.
Speaker: I will take that back, though.
Speaker: I do really enjoy his portrayal of both the Accountant movies, Accountant 1 and Accountant 2, but I'm biased about that.
Speaker: I've never seen those.
Speaker: Oh, they're pretty good.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Especially for an accountant.
Speaker: They're pretty good, Kirgel.
Speaker: Yeah, they are good.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I've only seen the first one, but I've got to watch the second one at some point.
Speaker: The second one just came out, yeah, not too long ago.
Speaker: We went and saw it at the theater.
Speaker: I haven't seen those, actually.
Speaker: I'll have to check them out.
Speaker: Oh, they're good.
Speaker: You've got to go watch them.
Speaker: I'm going to be controversial.
Speaker: I'm not – yeah, it's – my favorite Batman as a movie is definitely the trilogy with Christian Bale.
Speaker: That's definitely my favorite, too.
Speaker: I did – and a little side note, if you really want to hack off Kyle Mann, tell him that –
Speaker: The Dark Knight is a good movie.
Speaker: Wait, he hates The Dark Knight?
Speaker: We've had many discussions in the writer's room about The Dark Knight.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: What I will say- My man's no longer my hero.
Speaker: Forget him.
Speaker: He's dead to me.
Speaker: He's dead to me like my parents.
Speaker: What I will say, though, I do like aspects of Ben Affleck's Batman.
Speaker: I kind of liked the realism of the voice changer.
Speaker: I thought that kind of makes sense in a, you know, if you kind of go less comic booky.
Speaker: But yeah, I think, you know, Christian Bale did a great job of doing it constantly.
Speaker: But yeah, I liked and also I'm kind of quietly jealous of Ben Affleck's physique in the movies.
Speaker: I mean, that guy is ripped out.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, yes.
Speaker: He is a machine.
Speaker: He's doing the pull-ups with the tire that's hanging off of him and everything.
Speaker: That dude is like a beast of a man in that movie.
Speaker: But then he's trying to be Batman for the rest of it.
Speaker: And it's like, oh man, you should have just been working out for this entire movie.
Speaker: That should have been the movie instead of whatever it is you're doing.
Speaker: My favorite, though, has got to be, of course, Kevin Conroy.
Speaker: Kevin Conroy is like the voice of Batman in like
Speaker: everything you can ever imagine.
Speaker: Like he's, well, until he died.
Speaker: But I mean, up to that, like he was pretty great in pretty much anything he was in.
Speaker: Like he went from being, hi, I'm Bruce Wayne.
Speaker: How can I help you today?
Speaker: And to just being like, Alfred, draw a bath for me.
Speaker: Like he could just change off, like right off the bat.
Speaker: And it was just night and day.
Speaker: He was an epic voice artist, wasn't he, for Batman for how many years was it?
Speaker: He started in 1992, I believe.
Speaker: And then he died in 21, I think.
Speaker: 21 or 22.
Speaker: Might have been 22.
Speaker: Wasn't that long ago.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So I really enjoy him.
Speaker: But like Robert Pattinson, when he comes in and he's Batman, that is just like
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: Chef's kiss.
Speaker: It's just absolutely brilliant.
Speaker: I can't stop gushing about how great he is as Batman.
Speaker: He's a horrible Bruce Wayne, but as Batman, he's amazing.
Speaker: You got my note!
Speaker: Well, I got a note.
Speaker: Well, it is finally time to ask the Bat Knight, or the Bat-Nightington, as I like to call him now, some questions.
Speaker: I posted a headline earlier today asking all of you to give us some questions for the Bat Knight.
Speaker: And so you did not disappoint.
Speaker: You've got some great questions.
Speaker: We'll go ahead and ask those.
Speaker: What is having a British butler like?
Speaker: Well, it's pretty great.
Speaker: He's always like whining and crying that like, you know, I'm letting down my parents just because like I'm running out and punching people in the face at night.
Speaker: And so like, he's like, oh, my gosh, I'm so much.
Speaker: And so, yeah.
Speaker: That gets really kind of annoying.
Speaker: He makes me sandwiches and all my dinners and stuff for me.
Speaker: It's usually cold, though, but that's not his fault.
Speaker: It's usually late night coming in.
Speaker: I hang up the cave after a long night of pummeling psycho clowns into the ground.
Speaker: I just get dinner, and it's just completely cold.
Speaker: I just eat it cold because I'm cold and miserable all the time.
Speaker: It's just part of the brooding act, but that's fine.
Speaker: Having a British butler is pretty cool.
Speaker: Well, I should mention that was from David Johnson, by the way.
Speaker: That was who the question was from.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And congratulations to David Johnson.
Speaker: I think he's hit 5 million dutes in the headline forum.
Speaker: So I see everyone is changing their usernames and celebrating.
Speaker: So that's cool.
Speaker: And I believe he is the quickest to ever get 5 million.
Speaker: Whoa.
Speaker: Not really?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Congratulations.
Speaker: And also, at the risk of doxing myself, but I think Kyle did that when I was on the podcast, I share the same surname.
Speaker: So I noticed his username very quickly.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: It caught my eye.
Speaker: Very fine.
Speaker: Are you two related?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I have no idea.
Speaker: We could be perhaps some distant past if he has relatives that came over from the UK.
Speaker: Who knows?
Speaker: Maybe we are.
Speaker: Okay, I have a question here, and this is one that I know something about.
Speaker: So this one is from Hello There, and she asks, is it possible to beat him in a gift war?
Speaker: I'll put it in Spanish for her.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I never lose, ever.
Speaker: Actually, we've had half a dozen that have been going on for months.
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: They're all pudgy related.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We created our own like pudgy universe.
Speaker: Oh, the pudgy the penguin.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Pudge pudgy the penguin.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: When, when he started, like we started coming up with the idea that he was like eating people's pets.
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: That's like, that's like comedy gold right there.
Speaker: Just like endless.
Speaker: Thank you Haitians.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Thank you Haitians.
Speaker: The best thing that ever came out of the Biden administration was the Haitian immigrants eating people's pets.
Speaker: They're eating the dogs.
Speaker: They're eating the cats.
Speaker: Did you hear about the Haitian migrant that turned up late to the party?
Speaker: I did not.
Speaker: He was given the cold shoulder.
Speaker: I have to step back into my original role.
Speaker: I sometimes try and post like a dumb dad joke in the writer's room, but it gets thumbs down and people don't like it.
Speaker: Well, you can do it in the headline forum.
Speaker: And then I do it in the headline forum and everyone loved it.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Okay, well, I have a question here from the Laodicean Post.
Speaker: Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Classic Joker quote from 1989.
Speaker: We didn't talk about Jack Nicholson and...
Speaker: Michael Keaton.
Speaker: Oh my goodness.
Speaker: Oh, I liked his Batman.
Speaker: I liked Michael Keaton's Batman.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I, I liked Michael Keaton, but he violates a lot of Batman rules for me in that movie.
Speaker: But like, that's a time where they're trying to popularize Batman again, because like the 1960s show of Batman, it was great.
Speaker: They got a lot of people into Batman, but then like for a good 20 ish years, like, I don't know what to do with this character.
Speaker: No one likes this campy cartoon.
Speaker: crazy Batman who like obeys the law and doesn't speed.
Speaker: You filthy criminals.
Speaker: Has all these cheesy jokes.
Speaker: No one cares about that.
Speaker: Like, how do we make Batman relatable?
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Let's make him dark and gritty.
Speaker: Yeah, I never thought of those movies like that before because the Tim Burton ones, I like Tim Burton, but they're not my favorite Batman movies.
Speaker: But I never thought of what a good transition they are because think of what it would be like if he had the original Batman series and then he went straight to the most recent Batman movie.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It would, it'd be completely dark.
Speaker: I think like that movie wouldn't be possible though, without like, it was a great Batman story that like, it was like, all right, we're going to make Batman dark again.
Speaker: The made the Batman 89 movie possible.
Speaker: And I was like the dark night returns and it comes out and they're like,
Speaker: Yeah, Batman was campy and all that, but then he got old and now he's all grisly and stuff.
Speaker: And so that returned Batman to his dark detective roots.
Speaker: And that was the second coming of Batman for a lot of fans.
Speaker: And because of the success of that book, that's how we got 89 Batman.
Speaker: I like the way everyone is just completely ignoring the fact that we had George Clooney and Val Kilmer.
Speaker: We don't talk about those.
Speaker: I repress those memories.
Speaker: I've still never seen those Batman movies.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, you are blessed.
Speaker: From the middle-aged machinist, if you are having a bratwurst, which condiment do you put on top and why is it mustard and sauerkraut?
Speaker: Ooh, well, it is mustard and sauerkraut because, like, I mean, what else would you put on, like, a German sausage dog, essentially?
Speaker: Like, it's, like, sauerkraut's German, right?
Speaker: Am I right in thinking that?
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay, yeah, like, I mean, yeah, you put all the native ingredients on it.
Speaker: And it gives it like a nice tangy like taste to it.
Speaker: It's like a good, a good zip that you don't get.
Speaker: If you like, I don't know, just have a regular hot dog and you slather your refrigerated ketchup all over it.
Speaker: But yes, the sauerkraut mustard, and I would add jalapenos to that as well.
Speaker: How far away do you allow yourself to get from a bathroom after eating that?
Speaker: Ooh, yeah.
Speaker: It has to be within 10 feet.
Speaker: I have to make a complete dash for it.
Speaker: People just have to think I have to do something else.
Speaker: I have to leave so fast, people don't notice.
Speaker: The bat signal!
Speaker: I must go now!
Speaker: Oh yeah, there's a bat signal.
Speaker: I mean, to the Batmobile.
Speaker: Holy crap, Batman!
Speaker: Okay, moving on.
Speaker: You've offended Purgle.
Speaker: Okay, here's one from DJNugget83.
Speaker: Who's your favorite Justice League member, and why is it not Superman?
Speaker: I feel like it's cheating if I say Batman, but I also feel like Batman shouldn't be on the Justice League in a lot of ways.
Speaker: So I'm probably going to go with Green Lantern.
Speaker: I think he's underrated, especially because of the terrible Ryan Reynolds movie that came out.
Speaker: But Green Lantern is just one of my favorite characters ever because he's just a space cop.
Speaker: That's all he is.
Speaker: He's just like, I'm a space cop, but I can make green light things out of my ring.
Speaker: Isn't that kind of handy?
Speaker: I really like the way that Ryan Reynolds mocks himself about that movie.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Like, that movie is not good.
Speaker: I appreciate that it exists as a Green Lantern fan, but, like, that movie is... They were going to start a whole new franchise around Green Lantern and everything, and that movie came out, and they were like, we might have made a mistake.
Speaker: Let's put... You know what we should do is put Zack Snyder on Superman movie and get him to snap a villain's neck at the end of the movie.
Speaker: I have not seen that movie, so should I pass it?
Speaker: Oh, please, please do.
Speaker: The more we forget that Zack Snyder was even involved with DC movies, the better.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay, I've got a question here from the beloved Murph.
Speaker: Hey, Murph.
Speaker: And she says, Bat Night has become one of our most entertaining forum headliners.
Speaker: Which forum writers entertain him the most?
Speaker: I'm so excited for this episode.
Speaker: Well, I'd have to say maybe myself, but I say that in the form of Alola Raichu because we are the same person.
Speaker: Yeah, me and him just like endless amounts of back and forth, just ridiculousness.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Is it also cheating to say ShowQuest because ShowQuest is just amazing?
Speaker: He does still post in the forum.
Speaker: He does.
Speaker: Hey, ShowQuest.
Speaker: Yeah, he does.
Speaker: ShowQuest, you're the best, man.
Speaker: And also Murph.
Speaker: Like, Murph is just so wholesome, and whenever she posts anything, it's worth paying attention to.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Agreed.
Speaker: So, three.
Speaker: I don't care if I violated the one, your favorite.
Speaker: I have three favorites.
Speaker: The Bad Nights War Journal, day 1124.
Speaker: Dear diary, it's Friday, July 4th.
Speaker: The notification list is crowded for the holiday, even with the rain.
Speaker: Hidden in the chaos is the political element waiting to strike like snakes.
Speaker: And I'm there too.
Speaker: Watching.
Speaker: Commenting.
Speaker: Pitching.
Speaker: Three years of nights have turned me into a nocturnal animal.
Speaker: I must craft my headlines carefully.
Speaker: It's a big forum.
Speaker: I can't be everywhere.
Speaker: But the trolls don't know where I am.
Speaker: Subscribers have a signal now.
Speaker: For when I'm needed.
Speaker: When that light hits the sky, it's not just a call, it's a warning to them.
Speaker: Satire is a tool.
Speaker: They think I'm hiding in the shadows, but I am the shadows.
Speaker: I wish I could say I'm making a difference.
Speaker: But I don't know.
Speaker: Trump derangement.
Speaker: Mostly peaceful protests.
Speaker: Tesla fires.
Speaker: Three years later, they're all up.
Speaker: And now this.
Speaker: The country's eating itself.
Speaker: Maybe it can't be saved.
Speaker: But I have to try.
Speaker: Push myself.
Speaker: Because I'm the bee's watchful protector.
Speaker: Their comical guardian.
Speaker: A bad night.
Speaker: I'm off to punch some Riddler goons in the face and write some youth bastard jet skating gym headlines.
Speaker: Toodles.
Speaker: With lots of love.
Speaker: Bat Knight.
Speaker: P.S.
Speaker: I'm vengeance.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So now we are going to put Bat Knight to the test.
Speaker: Bat Knight is the number one forum expert on Batman.
Speaker: So are you ready, Bat Knight?
Speaker: Of course.
Speaker: We'll start out with some easy ones.
Speaker: Hopefully they're not too difficult for you, but these are kind of warming up some.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: First question.
Speaker: What color is Batman's suit?
Speaker: Black.
Speaker: It's sometimes very dark gray.
Speaker: Correct.
Speaker: What city does Batman operate in?
Speaker: Oh, Metropolis.
Speaker: Oh, wait, Gotham!
Speaker: Oh, gosh.
Speaker: Oh, close.
Speaker: Good save.
Speaker: Okay, what animal did Batman name himself after?
Speaker: Obviously, it's the Chupacabra.
Speaker: Oh, wait, no, wait.
Speaker: Oh, oh, wait, I know this.
Speaker: I know this.
Speaker: No, no, it's not Chupacabra.
Speaker: It's the bat.
Speaker: That's right, that's right.
Speaker: Are you sure?
Speaker: Yes, yes.
Speaker: I think.
Speaker: It's not... Oh, gosh.
Speaker: Would you like to call a friend?
Speaker: Maybe.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So what's the natural enemy of homicidal clowns?
Speaker: I think that would be what Batman would name himself after because it only makes sense.
Speaker: Like a man dressed as a bat would fight a clown man.
Speaker: Makes sense to me.
Speaker: Correct.
Speaker: You got it.
Speaker: Amazing.
Speaker: Took him a while, but he got it.
Speaker: Amazing.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Okay, so now we'll go on to round two.
Speaker: What comic book introduced the character of Batman?
Speaker: The name of the comics, the issue number, and the year.
Speaker: Detect Comics issue number 27, which came out in 1939.
Speaker: You got it, correct.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: This one he knew, but he couldn't figure out the bat thing, but he knew this one.
Speaker: Unbelievable.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: It's weird.
Speaker: I just prioritize all the important information from my mind and then push everything back.
Speaker: What is Batman inspired by?
Speaker: Where does he live?
Speaker: That's all nonsense.
Speaker: Your ability to remember obscure facts but miss obvious ones will make you a really good husband someday.
Speaker: I just want you to know that.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: I'm looking forward to it.
Speaker: He's just got to be able to tolerate all my Batman shenanigans.
Speaker: Well, that's lasting a lot.
Speaker: It better be true love.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What childhood friend of Bruce Wayne became a villain?
Speaker: That would be Dr. Thomas Elliot, a.k.a.
Speaker: Hush.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: Is that your final answer?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: Can we have a ruling?
Speaker: Is there more than one childhood friend that became a villain?
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: So there's been a lot of iterations where he's been friends with Harvey Dent, and then Harvey Dent later became Two-Face.
Speaker: Okay, we'll give it to you there, because in my vast research, when I was looking up questions, I said Harvey Dent.
Speaker: Okay, okay, okay.
Speaker: So I at least got the backup one right.
Speaker: But there is a character named Hush.
Speaker: Yeah, I can confirm as well.
Speaker: I'm just, I'm Googling this while we're talking.
Speaker: And it was also the confidence with which you delivered that answer really made me believe what you were saying.
Speaker: That confidence is what will make you a really good youth pastor.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Just like deliver facts with just outstanding confidence.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm looking at two possible questions to ask you here, Bat-Night, and both of them I personally would have absolutely no idea.
Speaker: I'm really intrigued if you know this.
Speaker: Let's go with this one.
Speaker: What is the name of the man who killed Bruce Wayne's parents?
Speaker: Well, if you're talking about canonical Batman, like in the comic books, it's always Joe Chill, but there's also been Joker in Batman 89, or Jack Napier, as he went by the name.
Speaker: And then sometimes in Batman continuity, there isn't a name for the mugger.
Speaker: Like sometimes he's just dubbed the guy, the one that got away.
Speaker: Well, I have to give it to you.
Speaker: We've got down here Joe Chill, but I think, yeah, I remember as well from the 18.9 version that the Joker did indeed kill the parents too.
Speaker: So congratulations.
Speaker: Well done.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Now things are going to get a little bit more difficult for you.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: What size of pencil lead does Commissioner Gordon prefer?
Speaker: Number two.
Speaker: Correct.
Speaker: We assume.
Speaker: Unbelievable.
Speaker: I can't believe you got it.
Speaker: I can't believe you got that one.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I'm just Batman.
Speaker: I pay attention to every single thing except for whatever city I live in and whatever I've named myself after.
Speaker: What brand of hair gel does Bruce Wayne use?
Speaker: That's a tough one.
Speaker: Old Spice?
Speaker: It was a trick question because he actually uses hand sanitizer.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Ah, yeah, that's how he, all right, all right, that makes sense because he's like, I mean, he gets really sweaty in there.
Speaker: He's got to like disinfect, like he is sweating every night.
Speaker: That hood makes you sweaty.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, sweat, blood, just everything.
Speaker: Sorry for the trick question.
Speaker: Not even his own blood.
Speaker: It might be someone else's blood that he gets on his towel.
Speaker: Really gross in there.
Speaker: Alfred has to bleach it, but then it like turns white after that and then I have to repaint it and everything.
Speaker: It's a huge mess.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Okay, another question here for you, Bat Knight.
Speaker: What is Alfred's favorite household chore?
Speaker: Cleaning the Batcave, obviously.
Speaker: Someone's going to have to tell me if that's correct or not because I don't have the answers here in front of me.
Speaker: It's correct.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Congratulations.
Speaker: He just loves cleaning up all the guano that the bats leave.
Speaker: It's just amazing for him.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So this will be our final round.
Speaker: What does Batman do if he gets the hiccups while he's chasing down a bad guy?
Speaker: He rehearses the alphabet backwards.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's a good trick.
Speaker: This question is super easy because there's only one right answer.
Speaker: Where does Batman keep his ketchup?
Speaker: Well, obviously, there's only one place to keep ketchup once you open it, and it's in the refrigerator.
Speaker: Spider-Man keeps his in the cabinet.
Speaker: Yeah, but he's a menace.
Speaker: No one likes Spider-Man.
Speaker: Fantastic.
Speaker: I like your thinking.
Speaker: Was that correct, by the way?
Speaker: What's the correct answer?
Speaker: The correct answer was room temperature cabinet.
Speaker: No, it wasn't.
Speaker: Otherwise, you're putting cold ketchup on hot fries, which makes no sense whatsoever.
Speaker: Of course it does.
Speaker: I mean, if you have hot coffee, you put cold milk in your coffee.
Speaker: That's something normal people do.
Speaker: So why wouldn't you do that with ketchup?
Speaker: I don't drink coffee, though.
Speaker: Yeah, I've never, ever put creamer in my coffee.
Speaker: Oh, you drink it straight black.
Speaker: I have never had my coffee straight black.
Speaker: Okay, final question in this final round.
Speaker: Are you ready, Batmites?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: How many digits of pi does Batman have memorized?
Speaker: Four.
Speaker: I thought Batman was smarter than that.
Speaker: priorities I'm just a man his superpower is just having money not actually yeah yeah I get someone else I got a bad computer that can choose all the places apart for me but if you're going to memorize four digits why don't you just do one more
Speaker: I'd have to forget something else, like one of the Robin's names, where I left the keys to the Batmobile.
Speaker: I have to prioritize all my brainpower for solving Riddler's dumb riddles.
Speaker: Yeah, it does seem like he asks a lot of riddles.
Speaker: Yes, and a lot of them are really just stupid.
Speaker: Like, they're not even riddles at some points.
Speaker: They're just jokes.
Speaker: He's just the Joker, but with like a stupid question mark leotard.
Speaker: Well, since we are obviously the Batman experts here, do you have any questions you want to stump us with?
Speaker: Okay, I got one.
Speaker: What is the name of the person who becomes Batman in the year 2039?
Speaker: Is not Bruce?
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Absolutely no idea.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Alfred.
Speaker: 14 years from now, who becomes Batman like in the movies?
Speaker: Is that what you're saying?
Speaker: Well, there's technically been a Batman, but it's not in the movies.
Speaker: It's actually an animated version of Batman.
Speaker: And it was the year 2039, he becomes Batman, which is precisely 100 years after the original creation of Batman.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: Gotcha.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Is it Marty McFly?
Speaker: Because he can time travel.
Speaker: Close.
Speaker: He is a pesky teenager.
Speaker: Ah, pesky teenager.
Speaker: That's redundant, by the way.
Speaker: Ferris Bueller.
Speaker: Is his name Bill or Ted?
Speaker: Sadly, it is not.
Speaker: His name is technically Terry McGinnis.
Speaker: the show Batman Beyond.
Speaker: They made the show.
Speaker: They were like, we need to make a show.
Speaker: We need to make a Batman show that's relatable for people.
Speaker: And they were like, well, let's make him like Spider-Man.
Speaker: And they're like, you can't make Batman like Spider-Man.
Speaker: That's stupid.
Speaker: So they invented an entirely new character for him.
Speaker: But Bruce Wayne is technically in the show.
Speaker: He's old and crotchety, and he's Terry's mentor.
Speaker: I did not know about that one.
Speaker: Oh, here's another one for you guys.
Speaker: Why does Batman wear his underwear on the outside of his costume?
Speaker: So he doesn't have to wash it that often.
Speaker: Because he wants to be like Superman.
Speaker: Because he goes to Taco Bell frequently.
Speaker: Obviously it's the Taco Bell one.
Speaker: Yeah, I knew it.
Speaker: That's why he stands 10 feet away from the bathroom, too.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: He's got, you see, in his, like, utility belt, he's got an extra pair in there just in case he goes to Taco Bell.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Think outside the bun.
Speaker: We really wanted to, a little homage to a husband and wife team, very special to the Headline Forum.
Speaker: And they usually record this nice podcast called The Duke Cast, which you may have heard of.
Speaker: Everyone's heard of it, of course.
Speaker: It is, of course, husband and wife team, Nicholas.
Speaker: And we miss them at the moment.
Speaker: And we thought it might be fun just to read out some top headlines of the week, just in honor of them, because they're not able to do it at the moment.
Speaker: And Batnites, I believe you have a little story and you actually met Nicholas recently.
Speaker: Why don't you tell us about that?
Speaker: they were just posting a headline one day, I think it was like a Thursday or something, and just like, they, I forgot what it was, it was like something about it being windy or whatever, and then you know how Alyssa or Nick, they'll always come in in the comments and they'll like say which one to actually post.
Speaker: uh Alyssa was like yeah it's just weird North Carolina weather they got here and of course I knew they were traveling so I thought they were just I don't know driving through North Carolina just on their way to wherever it is they were going uh and I was like oh yeah I'm I live in North Carolina like where do you guys uh where are you guys at there and like they mentioned my hometown and I was like is this a joke are are they like spying on me like
Speaker: Like it's such an obscure place in North Carolina.
Speaker: You would have never thought of that.
Speaker: And so I was like, this is amazing.
Speaker: Like I live there.
Speaker: And so they were like, yeah, let's, let's like go out and like eat some food or something like that.
Speaker: Since we're in town, we met up, we had, we had tacos and it was absolutely delicious.
Speaker: We had riveting tales of crime fighting, Duke casting.
Speaker: It was a grand old time.
Speaker: One for the history books.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Very cool.
Speaker: Top headlines for the week.
Speaker: Price has risen at Don't Slow the Earth.
Speaker: WNBA hires male ref to tell the ladies to calm down.
Speaker: And this was Featured.
Speaker: Next up is RuthieJ714.
Speaker: Macron offers to provide Iran with white flags.
Speaker: And this one was also Featured.
Speaker: Featured.
Speaker: And that one I actually understand a little bit more.
Speaker: This is from Kurgle, currently going as Doody Poinsen in honor of David Johnson.
Speaker: So very good.
Speaker: Doody, Doody, Doody.
Speaker: Husband presumed dead after laughing at wrong part of wife's story.
Speaker: This might have been from personal experiences, Kurgle?
Speaker: No, this was one of those headlines at the end of the day.
Speaker: I had no idea what to post.
Speaker: And so I was just trying to come up with something.
Speaker: It was all totally just made up.
Speaker: Very good.
Speaker: You got 95?
Speaker: Oh, dudes.
Speaker: Those are the best headlines where you're just like, I'm just trying to do something.
Speaker: Here you go.
Speaker: And I think that's when you get the best headline experience.
Speaker: Because it would be easy.
Speaker: It's like, okay, I did three.
Speaker: I'll just leave it at that.
Speaker: But when you force yourself to come up with that fourth one, you're really stretching your brain, getting that extra experience in.
Speaker: Yeah, I usually post that fourth one like right at night where I'm most active during the day.
Speaker: So that's where I'm really turning like this one's got to knock someone's socks off.
Speaker: Okay, well, the next headline comes from Mike Olufsen at Molyfsen.
Speaker: And he says, Iran activates sleeper cell in DC.
Speaker: And there's a picture of AOC and you guys are going to have to help me out with the other people in the picture.
Speaker: The squad.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Rashida Tlaib, AOC.
Speaker: Ilan Omar.
Speaker: The lady that married her brother.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Her name always slips me, and I recognize the other two, but I don't know their names.
Speaker: I can't think of them right now.
Speaker: Four annoying chicks.
Speaker: Let's call them that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Four annoying chicks.
Speaker: Oh, dear.
Speaker: Paragliding welcome weasel mahogger.
Speaker: At M4D says, former president deported back to Kenya in the latest ice raid.
Speaker: This one is by Dr. You Don't Have to Call Me Johnson, Dr. Conservative Prof. Local man Googles how to hotwire a Sherman tank.
Speaker: Now, is this just something you came up with or is there a story?
Speaker: There is a story because last Friday, so just a few days ago, I was at a different World War II museum.
Speaker: It's a smaller one about two hours away and I'd never been to it before.
Speaker: And it's in Granite Falls, Minnesota.
Speaker: It's very worthwhile going.
Speaker: They have mostly airplanes and they all work.
Speaker: And they also have some other equipment.
Speaker: So they have a Sherman tank there.
Speaker: But I made a headline over Father's Day weekend roughly saying, sad, father has to endure another day.
Speaker: Father's Day without receiving a Sherman tank.
Speaker: And then I happened to have a picture of a real life Sherman tank here.
Speaker: So it was kind of a follow-up with that original headline.
Speaker: Excellent.
Speaker: It works.
Speaker: I was told that it works.
Speaker: So I was like, how do I get this thing started to drive it out of here?
Speaker: Because the garage door was shut.
Speaker: But if I have a Sherman tank, that doesn't matter.
Speaker: Yeah, that'd be fun.
Speaker: Yeah, I was really hoping you were going to end that story with, and then I hot-wired the tank, and now it's sitting in my garage.
Speaker: Google works.
Speaker: I have it, yeah.
Speaker: Or it was sitting in what's left of my garage after I just plowed through the door.
Speaker: Right through the door, yeah, exactly.
Speaker: This is from The Big Freeze at The Big Freeze, also a fellow South Akitian.
Speaker: Prankster Iranian nuclear physicist has a blast by yelling, boom, behind unsuspecting co-workers.
Speaker: Fantastic.
Speaker: Great accompanying photo there.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Well, the next headline, a shout out to ShowQuest.
Speaker: Hey, ShowQuest.
Speaker: Democrats complain they weren't given ample notice to leak plans of Iran bombing.
Speaker: Amazing.
Speaker: Jedi Johnson, at Little Jedi.
Speaker: Nintendo releases WNBA Brawl.
Speaker: So I noticed there's been some more like women's basketball headlines.
Speaker: Is it just general making fun of them or did something happen?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Caitlin Clark is, she's just become a human punching bag.
Speaker: Like on purpose?
Speaker: No, just like in the middle of a game, someone will just like, I don't know, completely foul her and they won't call it at all.
Speaker: Yeah, that's the other players doing it on purpose.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: They've got to be.
Speaker: Huh.
Speaker: That makes more sense to me.
Speaker: So I'll give Little Jedi another dude.
Speaker: Here is a lovely one from Slightly Desperate Housewife, SDH.
Speaker: Beef Forum News.
Speaker: Kamala warned not to drink the Molotov cocktails.
Speaker: Don't forget to check those four.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I was just looking to see, I'm trying to remember whose headline she used.
Speaker: It's like just Fred.
Speaker: It's fun to read that every week too.
Speaker: So she does a good job with that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, she does.
Speaker: So I have one from NJ David Hokie Johnson as NJ Hokie 84.
Speaker: Israel Mossad agent neutralizes most of Tehran's population using only a tube of crazy glue.
Speaker: And basically they're all bowing to Mecca with their heads stuck to the ground because of crazy glue.
Speaker: Excellent.
Speaker: That was a good one.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I've got a headline here from Grandpa Joe at Coach Joe Conway.
Speaker: President Obama learns Trump just destroyed the Iranian nuclear facilities he funded.
Speaker: And then there's a picture of Obama crying.
Speaker: Poor Obama.
Speaker: Poor Obama.
Speaker: They essentially published something like that today.
Speaker: That looks awfully close to that published headline.
Speaker: There might be some side credit going on there.
Speaker: Published!
Speaker: Do the Sarah McLachlan in the arms of an angel song.
Speaker: Obama worked so hard to give them money.
Speaker: Pallets of cash.
Speaker: Here you go.
Speaker: And now Trump just blows them up.
Speaker: How inconsiderate.
Speaker: How very Hitler of him.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: French Totter Phylaxis, Weird Al orders 5 million spatulas as party favors for Mr. Hero's celebration party.
Speaker: Yay!
Speaker: There's just one place to go for all your spatula needs.
Speaker: Spatula City!
Speaker: Spatula City!
Speaker: A giant warehouse of spatulas for every occasion.
Speaker: That's one of the things I always remember most about Weird Al, I always think, Spatula City.
Speaker: Spatula City!
Speaker: Spatula!
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Oh, hey.
Speaker: Here we have one from the Cape Crusader, Bat Knight himself.
Speaker: Genius husband rigs car to automatically activate hazard lights whenever wife is driving.
Speaker: Smart.
Speaker: That's a good one.
Speaker: I like that one.
Speaker: I'm not just saying that because you're on the... Oh, you're just trying to flatter me.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: It is a good one.
Speaker: From Pure Tiege, currently going as Pure Tiege.
Speaker: Hasbro releases progressive operation where players can reassign patients' gender.
Speaker: Ouch.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: Sounds painful.
Speaker: Don't hurt a little bit to read.
Speaker: Holy nightmare.
Speaker: That's one of those headlines that I'd love for them to publish.
Speaker: I'm picturing the people that are in the line putting all the games together, kind of being a little bit embarrassed of the different pieces.
Speaker: I thought you were going to say that poor Bettina, who would have to do the Photoshop might not appreciate that one.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, that too.
Speaker: It would have to be super sensory.
Speaker: You can just take a regular normal operation game and just put a big black bar across the front.
Speaker: No one will know.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: Can you guys help me with the pronunciation of this guy's name?
Speaker: G. Fansen.
Speaker: Ayatollah Kamini.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, no, wait, no.
Speaker: You pronounce it Gary Johnson.
Speaker: Yeah, no, that's fine.
Speaker: Yeah, I know that.
Speaker: It's actually Fanson, but anyway, Johnson Fanson.
Speaker: Never mind.
Speaker: Ayatollah Kamini?
Speaker: Yeah, close enough.
Speaker: Good enough.
Speaker: Yeah, okay, I'll try it.
Speaker: I hope I don't do a tongue twister.
Speaker: You bombed that one.
Speaker: Ah, okay.
Speaker: Okay, well, I've got another headline here from Gary Johnson at GFanson.
Speaker: Ayatollah Kamini calls Biden for tips on living in a bunker.
Speaker: And if anybody would know, it'd be Biden.
Speaker: Wait, wasn't Gary Johnson a libertarian candidate a few years back for president?
Speaker: That sounds right, something like that.
Speaker: Yeah, I think so.
Speaker: I suggest, unless anyone objects, we wrap it up then.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I need to take my daughter's boyfriend home.
Speaker: And show him your shotgun and give him the talk?
Speaker: I'll give him the talk, but I haven't got a shot.
Speaker: We don't do shotguns.
Speaker: I'll show him my fairly threatening knife.
Speaker: Oh, I get a little story.
Speaker: I get a little story.
Speaker: So my great grandfather has a shotgun made in Belgium.
Speaker: He passed away quite a while ago.
Speaker: My dad had it.
Speaker: My dad gave it to me.
Speaker: So it's pretty cool.
Speaker: But it's made in Belgium.
Speaker: So that is awesome.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's not made of chocolate or anything, is it?
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: It's real steel.
Speaker: Real steel.
Speaker: I promise.
Speaker: Well, it's been a lot of fun to catch up and get to know Bat Night.
Speaker: So yeah, it's been a really, really fun episode.
Speaker: And just want to thank the community for submitting their questions and their thoughts and for taking the time to listen to this podcast.
Speaker: If you've got this far, congratulations.
Speaker: So we were just talking off air.
Speaker: We do want to try and get another episode out in the not too distant future.
Speaker: Hopefully it won't be another four months.
Speaker: And if you've got any ideas, if there's somebody you'd like us to interview, if there's a segment idea you've got for us, just shoot us an email or send us a message on the forum.
Speaker: That's probably the easiest thing.
Speaker: Just tag us in the podcast.
Speaker: And let us know, because at the end of the day, this is a community podcast.
Speaker: And yeah, we want to hear from you, the listener, what you would like and what you would want to hear in our ramblings.
Speaker: So, Batknights, it was great having you on.
Speaker: It's been great to get to know you.
Speaker: Yeah, thanks for having me on.
Speaker: It's been great.
Speaker: It's been fun.
Speaker: And now I'm going to get back to doing what I do best, serving out justice with both my fists.
Speaker: Yep, it's been a lot of fun talking to you in person.
Speaker: And I'm sure in just a few minutes, I'll be talking to you in the forum again.
Speaker: Nice to meet you at the Bat Knight, although I'm going to call you at the Bat Knight-ing-ton from now on.
Speaker: Works for me.
Speaker: Works for me.
Speaker: Good deal.
Speaker: We will say goodbye for now and see you all in the forum.
Speaker: Take care.
Speaker: Till next time.
Speaker: Is your first name bat your last name night or how does that work?
Speaker: Yeah, it's Mr. Night.
Speaker: So Mr. Yeah, Mr. Bat.
Speaker: Got it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: How's it going?
Speaker: It's going great.
Speaker: You're Bat Knight, but I see Spider-Man on your wall.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: What?
Speaker: What?
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: I don't know his t-shirt.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I might be cheating just a little bit, but.
Speaker: I heard a rumor, Bat Knight.
Speaker: Can I confirm this rumor with you?
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: I heard that you wear Superman underwear.
Speaker: I don't wear red underwear.
Speaker: It's black.
Speaker: It's black.
Speaker: It's black and sometimes very dark gray.
Speaker: I'll believe you.
Speaker: I'm not going to ask for proof.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Although I wear it all on the outside, so I mean, it's pretty obvious.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, true.
Speaker: This is why it's good that we have like an audio-only podcast, I think.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: No visuals needed.
Speaker: You don't need to like see my Batcave with all the Spider-Man posters in the back.
Speaker: Ruthie J714 military picked Operation Midnight Hammer just so that they could say, it's hammer time, dropping bombs.
Speaker: I think you were on the wrong page.
Speaker: Yeah, I think that was maybe the 24 hours.
Speaker: Oh, my bad.
Speaker: You went to seven days.
Speaker: Apologies.
Speaker: Yeah, no worries.
Speaker: The real Batman would not have messed that up.
Speaker: Oh, gosh, no.
Speaker: I'm slipping.
Speaker: Oh, my bad.
Speaker: ChatGPT is pretty cool.
Speaker: A few weeks ago, there was like one or two days where there was this phrase where everyone was creating ChatGPT images using something called the Ghibli effect, I think it's called.
Speaker: So it's like a bit of an anime style.
Speaker: Yeah, that's when I learned what that is.
Speaker: So I actually uploaded a picture of two separate photos, I think it was.
Speaker: Oh, no, I think it was like a banner I found online of Kyle and Joel.
Speaker: And so I uploaded this picture into ChatGPT and I said, oh, you know, turn it into the Ghibli thing.
Speaker: And it kind of, they were quite far apart in this banner and it redid the picture and put them really close together where they kind of looked like a couple.
Speaker: It was kind of awkward.
Speaker: They weren't, I don't think they were very amused.
Speaker: I showed it to them.
Speaker: Did everybody screen freeze for a second?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I don't think so.
Speaker: Hopefully it doesn't do it again.
Speaker: We've gone a couple of episodes now without any technical glitches, so don't jinx it.
Speaker: I also noticed that you stole my avatar.
Speaker: I did because I couldn't find a good one.
Speaker: You were the closest one to one that I could find.
Speaker: So you just happened to be right there.
Speaker: So I'm like, nobody posted a potential list of...
Speaker: So I just grabbed yours.
Speaker: It was just easy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Little Jedi.
Speaker: He was gone for a cousin's wedding.
Speaker: Oh, OK.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So that's why he wasn't there this morning.
Speaker: But yeah, normally I just grab one of his, but there wasn't anything.
Speaker: So I stole yours.
Speaker: My avatar will make more sense once I post my last headline today.
Speaker: Well, it was convenient.
Speaker: So I grabbed it.
Speaker: Of course, I had to post it as a David Johnson headline.
Speaker: So just so I could get posted.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, I saw that.
Speaker: I'm like, well, I could do that.
Speaker: I'm not, I'm not keeping up with, with, unfortunately, I can't keep up with all the celebrations anymore.
Speaker: I just,
Speaker: I just respectfully contacted Little Jedi and said, can you just take me off the notification list?
Speaker: Because I just have a good time.
Speaker: Oh, just wait till the next couple of weeks.
Speaker: They always come, it seems like everybody comes in groups and it's crazy, crazy busy the next few coming up.
Speaker: Is there anything else that night that you want to make sure is in the episode?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: What have you guys been up to, really?
Speaker: What's been going on in the lives of the people?
Speaker: The we the people?
Speaker: We covered that before you came on.
Speaker: Oh, I didn't know.
Speaker: I was trying to find a polite way of saying that, and Kurgle's just going for the jugular.
Speaker: We've already done that.
Speaker: Okay, so real short, I had a kidney stone, conservative prof traveled, and Pierre Tiege finished his school.
Speaker: Woo-hoo!
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Nearly, nearly.
Speaker: And you loved all the coding parts, right, Tiege?
Speaker: It's Python and everything like you said you were doing.
Speaker: Coding?
Speaker: Oh, man, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I've got an IT exam to retake in August.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: And that's all about creating virtual servers, virtual machines.
Speaker: It's not my thing.
Speaker: But I'll survive.
Speaker: I'll manage.
Speaker: Tune in tomorrow.
Speaker: Same bat time, same bat channel.
