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Holidays in the Military — Ed and Joy Bissonnette
44 Plays1 month ago
On this special episode of inCadence, hosts Brian and Dave connect with Cadence's Ed and Joy Bissonnette. The group discusses what ministry to the military looks like during the holiday season, which can be a particularly challenging time of year for many servicemembers and their families as they spend time away from loved ones. This emotional episode provides a peek into the particular importance of caring for our military community during the holiday season.
Learn more about Cadence's ministry to the military here: https://cadence.org/
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Transcript
Introduction and Theme
00:00:00
Speaker
Welcome to In Cadence, where we talk about what it looks like to share the gospel in our lives with the military community. Join us as we talk about what God is doing in the lives of our service members and how we can be a part it.
00:00:23
Speaker
Welcome back to the In Cadence podcast. I'm hanging out here with Hutch and we're excited to have Ed and Joy Bissonette joining us today. And we're focusing in on the theme of the holidays.
00:00:37
Speaker
um These podcasts, we actually try to make them timeless, but we're just going to tell you right now up front, we're recording this one at the start of December. And so we're between Thanksgiving, headed into Christmas and New Year's.
Ed and Joy Bissonnette's Ministry Journey
00:00:50
Speaker
And that time of year creates a unique season and a unique time of life for soldiers, sailors, airmen, and their families who are serving our military.
00:01:01
Speaker
Yeah, and these times of year, it's almost cliche to say it, but they come up on us really fast. It's hard to believe we're at the end of another year. And just like that, ah PCS season in the military, the permanent change of station that families and service members go through around the world during the summer, that also comes up on us so quickly and we get surprised by it.
00:01:25
Speaker
And um it's hard to be intentional in those times when they sneak up on us. And I want to be intentional with my family during the Advent season and Christmas. And i think we want to do the same in these military communities. So, Ed and Joy, it's super fun to have you guys with us. We're excited to hear a little bit of your story, your insight, your wisdom.
00:01:48
Speaker
Why don't you introduce yourselves? There's plenty of people listening who have no idea who you are. So tell us a little bit about you and how you got connected to the Hospitality House Ministry with Cadence. Well, it's great to be with you guys today. We're Ed and Joy Bissonnette. And Cadence was really brought to our attention in 2012 by our friend Matthew Bicholli. I had just served with another international ministry the previous four years, and God was preparing the hearts of our family of four for an international mission experience.
00:02:24
Speaker
We didn't know at the time what that would be, but a Cadence appeared to be an excellent fit for us.
Cadence House in San Diego
00:02:33
Speaker
We gave three-year commitment at that time to a house Cadence house in Germany,
00:02:40
Speaker
And here we are 13 years later speaking to you gentlemen from our second Cadence House. And we're currently serving in the beautiful state of California in San Diego, right smack dab in the middle of several military bases, primarily Navy, but we offer our home to Marines as well, or Coast Guard.
00:03:07
Speaker
We are just four houses down from Naval Air Station, North Island, where those sailors can walk from their ship or their barracks right to our home. And we affectionately call our house the bridge for many, many reasons. Mainly though, we want to bridge the gap between our military members and God vertically.
00:03:30
Speaker
And then we want to bridge the gap between them and other military members. So we connect them horizontally to each other as well. Additionally, we are connecting them to chapel, churches, neighbors,
00:03:47
Speaker
all the different things you need when you're moving to a new place.
Cultural and Emotional Challenges
00:03:52
Speaker
So we love what we get to do. i think um they love what we offer them. Mainly it's ah it's a home away from home.
00:04:00
Speaker
It's kind of our tagline. And we thought leaving Germany, it would be a little harder to imagine the need would be as great because you are really far from home when you're in a foreign country. from the states, but we found that the needs are just the same.
00:04:18
Speaker
They're away from home. They need a safe, secure place where they can feel like they belong and be part of a family. So that's what we like to offer. Okay, so I know this because I got to serve on the field with you guys, but that was your first place.
00:04:34
Speaker
You had a hospitality house in Germany, and Germany is a little different than California at Christmas time. So what's it like where you're sitting right now? I'm guessing you don't have the Christmas markets like in Germany and the snow outside. I love that. quite.
00:04:51
Speaker
No. San Diego is famous for being 72 and sunny pretty much all the time. Yeah. So, I mean, we get some ah cooler weather at night, but it's a lot different than the beautiful quaint villages of Germany in Christmas time.
00:05:08
Speaker
Yeah. It is sunny outside there today with blue skies and probably in Germany at this time. We've got some rain going on, I would imagine. Maybe some snow flurries, but our daughter married an airman and they are now stationed in Germany. So Hannah is excited to be back at just the right time for those Christmas markets and all that Christmas time um provides there.
00:05:33
Speaker
We miss it, but you know what? God's got us here. And we love where we're at here. And we love our people. You fall in love with these military members. Wherever you are. Wherever you are. Wherever God calls you. So we're glad to be here, especially at the holidays.
00:05:47
Speaker
I love that. That's worth acknowledging that there's something so unique and and I think special about celebrating the holidays or just different aspects of the year, your birthday, whatever it might be in different parts of the world, because it's going to look different.
00:06:03
Speaker
It's going to feel different. There's things that you miss, but there's new and exciting things that are a part of that as well. That can be really emotional. It can be really significant to be away from home during these important and memorable times of the year.
Support and Community for Military Members
00:06:19
Speaker
So talk to us a little bit about what that's like in the military context during the holidays. Well, as you know, the military are serving our country all over the world, often far from home, some on deployment,
00:06:36
Speaker
And we feel so honored to provide them our home away from home throughout the holiday season in a faith-based community, which thanks God for his many many blessings over Thanksgiving and that celebrates his coming to earth.
00:06:56
Speaker
And during the holiday season, the military are often faced with ah feelings of separation, um isolation and loneliness, and sometimes even anxiety and depression.
00:07:13
Speaker
And so we are able to provide them the type of support and community that will help them to counter of the lies of the enemy that they are not known, not needed, wanted or loved, um all of which are untrue.
00:07:30
Speaker
um And they find that community and that love in the faith-based community that we offer through Cadence. I'm going to flip the script on you for a minute.
00:07:42
Speaker
You guys are now parents of a daughter who's married to a military person overseas. How is that impacting these holidays for you, knowing where she's at and, you know, the emotional needs of the military?
00:07:56
Speaker
What's it like being parents of a military person now? You're right. You raise a really good question there. and And the heart is already starting to be sad because this will be the first holiday we're away.
00:08:15
Speaker
So we will not have our son and his wife or our daughter and her husband for either holiday. um So I'm feeling and on the other side now.
00:08:30
Speaker
And all the parents of our military members go through this every holiday. So that just behooves us to be local parents and grandparents to these military members.
00:08:47
Speaker
And that's what we're called to do. And that's what we will do. And we're we're seeing just how important cadence in this house ministry that we provide. It's just so important. We have kids really from all over the world that cannot go home.
00:09:11
Speaker
And some of them don't even want to go home because they've found a family within Cadence that they've never had.
00:09:23
Speaker
And that just excites us to know that our calling And our ministry is making an impact and a difference in the lives of these military members.
00:09:36
Speaker
But we're going to miss our kids, although, you know, they're they're making their own memories in their own communities and they belong. So that's good. But um yeah, there's no place like home for the holidays and We're not going to have them here. We just love on the kids that God brings into our home, knowing that other people are living on our kids wherever they are as well.
00:10:03
Speaker
Yeah. Thank you for sharing that and for sharing the tears because i think if we often, we think of the sacrifice that our service members make for the country, but it can be out of our mind or we can easily forget the cost that it has on their family members.
00:10:22
Speaker
Whether that's you know spouse and kids or if that's parents and family back home, there is a cost paid by many for the sacrifice that our military members make for the country. And it's high and it's hard and it comes with pain. It comes with grief.
00:10:40
Speaker
And they feel that. And then at the same time, you're talking about this hope. You're creating this community that's being built. There's got to be an example of healing and hope and joy that you see happening in your community.
00:10:54
Speaker
And those things are happening because it actually starts from a place of pain. which you've already expressed so beautifully. So tell us about that. Tell us about how you're seeing pain being healed in that context of community and how you share this holiday time with the people that come here.
00:11:14
Speaker
One of our sailors comes from Puerto Rico, and she often reminds me that what we have here in Hospitality House Ministry is a hospital.
00:11:31
Speaker
It's actually the root word of hospitality, I think. And she said, we provide a place where hurting people can come and be seen and hurt and helped.
00:11:46
Speaker
And,
00:11:49
Speaker
During the holidays, I think all of that is just magnified when you realize there's nobody to go to. There's no home to run to. Mom and dad are not available or um in some cases I'm finding more here than we had in Germany because we had a lot more families and we have mostly singles here.
00:12:12
Speaker
But there's some families that our sailors and Marines don't want to go home to. but they sure love coming in here. And so it's been really sweet to be able to provide them the place where they can experience family in and maybe a new and different way. They can see what marriage looks like, what parenting feels like, and they can learn and grow from that so that when they leave here and hopefully someday our singles will get married and they'll start families of their own and we will have modeled
00:12:45
Speaker
a Christ-centered marriage and a godly home to them, and they'll be better equipped to serve God wherever he takes them in future.
00:13:00
Speaker
You know, I think one of the things that they are learning ah in the Cadence House as they um become more experienced, mature adults is that the holidays,
00:13:15
Speaker
used to be about receiving when they were young.
Impactful Stories and Traditions
00:13:20
Speaker
And as you get older, you recognize that it is more about giving of ourselves and whatever time and talents we have to to offer.
00:13:34
Speaker
And so a lot of what we do around this time of year is focused on people outside this house with people inside the house.
00:13:49
Speaker
And we have some stories on that that just um we'll never forget. One, maybe be appropriate at this time um that In our time back in Germany, our community got to know an or a local orphanage with about 20 teenage orphans in it and about 20 staffers there.
00:14:14
Speaker
And we would go to that orphanage and do different jobs on and around the property and just kind of love on the kids and do what we could could to bless them.
00:14:26
Speaker
And a couple of the orphans went to the director and said, we'd really like to see what an American Christmas looks like.
00:14:35
Speaker
So the director approached me and said, we do an annual Christmas party at different places and... were wondering if you guys would host our annual Christmas party in your home, your Cadence house there in Germany, and kind of show these kids what an American Christmas looks like, because they want to know.
00:14:57
Speaker
And we said we would be so honored to do that. And so we put out a place that people could could actually give some money towards that so that we can buy them all gifts.
00:15:11
Speaker
And we received way more money than we anticipated. So we we were able to buy from them from ah our local military. And we were able to buy a really good gift for both all the teams and all the ah staff of this orphanage.
00:15:26
Speaker
Well, ah towards the end of the night, one of the orphan gals started crying profusely. Like she was...
00:15:38
Speaker
I thought that maybe she had just found out that she'd lost a family member. That's how much she was greek she was crying. She had a cell phone in front of her. And so I thought she just got some terrible news. And I had the director check on it and and have a staff member was tending to her. And the director came back to me after he found out what was going on and said, you know, she's okay.
00:16:02
Speaker
She just has never experienced this level of love in her life. And she's not sure what to do with it and how to handle it.
00:16:14
Speaker
And I thought, well, if we had done all that work for that event, for that one girl to experience the love of Christ, that Christmas season, it was worth it.
00:16:26
Speaker
um So we've had a number of different events like that. Joy probably has one with the caroling I think you wanted to share too. Yeah, I think one of our favorite things that we do is something that my mom and dad modeled for us. And that was at Christmas time, we always went caroling and we would go to the, um well, we called them old folks homes back then, but retirement centers. And we would sing our little hearts out and, you know, hand out cookies that we had made. And when we got to Germany, it just so happened that there was a senior center right down in our little village of Lonscheid. And I thought,
00:17:07
Speaker
we're going to go caroling. And it was so much fun because we would practice our carols. And then we learned how to sing stillenacht in German, Silent Night. And so we would go and sing all the American carols, which they loved them. And um we got all of our little kids involved as well. Cause we had, as I said earlier, mostly families there. And then at the end, we would join, have them join us in silent night. And it, it just was something ah to behold. And so we came here, obviously we don't have the German ah version of silent night, but same thing here. And it's just as effective going around to um the houses in our neighborhood here with our, our military members. And it's a fun, fun night. So that's, that's a kind of a traditional thing that we do here. and it's a great memory and,
00:18:03
Speaker
Really enjoyed hi neighbors as well. think last year we went to a neighbor's house that has an autistic child, and that autistic child just came alive with our singing and was so animated and had so much fun with that. and yeah So these sailors, soldiers, airmen, seeing what it's like to give at this time of year, i think just something they'll never forget and are glad that they participated in.
00:18:33
Speaker
It's a beautiful thing that you guys are creating the opportunities for these sailors, their families, these airmen and their families. Because some of that, I mean, all they need is the opportunity.
00:18:45
Speaker
Somebody else put it together, you know, and you're providing the opportunity for them to go and serve. I know you guys also invite them over to serving one another and being served. Like, I'm just curious that with inside your homes throughout the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, what are some of the more, um what are some of the practical or normal ways in which you guys are celebrating the holidays with them?
00:19:10
Speaker
I would say that some of the ways that they help is they help cook. ah Food is a big deal in all of our houses. I think oh you bring people together with food and um it's an expression of love, actually, and togetherness. And we can cook together in the kitchen and Christmas cookies are coming up and You you know, you can bond together with these military members when you allow them to be a part of your life. And so that's what we try to do. We get them here and ah we believe that food and the family environment, decorating, um serving one another by helping set up and um get the tables ready for our our meals and all of those ways they also can share in our our ah celebration of our
00:20:01
Speaker
talks and a lot of times they will participate. We talked but about doing Advent last night, in fact, as our ministry night. And um we started with lighting the candle. It's just fun for them to either read scripture or in this case, light the candle. um We're going to use a Lots of different things that Coronado offers already that we'll just jump on the bandwagon and we will bring our military to in ways that they can reach out to to the neighborhood and the community here so they can plug in. And as you said, Brian, be serving others as well as our country.
Holiday Celebrations and Traditions
00:20:45
Speaker
Yeah, I think the. be allow them to help us even decorating or we'll work on the property a bit and preparing.
00:20:55
Speaker
um And then also ah Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve, Thanksgiving, all those holidays, we need um extra food and extra help. and salt food They're all willing to pitch in ah for that.
00:21:12
Speaker
But we really look forward to this year having our community over for Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve. We realize that some ministries kind of close their doors during the holidays because they want their time with their family and and some of the military are gone. So they kind of feel like, you know what, it's important for us to have our time. And we get that. But I think the mentors for us, the mission missionaries in Germany before us said, you know what, these these young adults need you more over the holidays than maybe any other time of the year.
00:21:48
Speaker
So we work maybe hardest in December and then we take the first two weeks of January off. And we thought, you know what, that sounds like a good model. Let's try that. And I think it's really worked out well for us to be available for our military members during this special season and then taking a break after that. So we look forward to including and engaging them in so many different holiday traditions over the course of this month.
00:22:20
Speaker
Very special. Yeah. Okay, I do go a little overboard on the decorating, but you have to know my parents were florists. So I got that creativity, I think actually from God, but I learned a lot from my parents.
00:22:37
Speaker
That's just an aside. So we do decorate, we deck the halls for sure. Yeah. But on Christmas Eve, it's a ah fun night. You can come in your Christmas PJs or your ugly Christmas sweater, whatever you want. And we're really hoping for those that do not get to go home for the holiday, we'll come here and spend the the evening with us.
00:23:02
Speaker
We have lots of fun um games planned and food Music is all part of it because I just feel like the sights and the sounds and the smells and activities of Christmas, they have to be experienced. And so we want them to come here and find all of that um on Christmas Eve. We do a fun, I think Christmas charades has always been a crack up. So that's our traditional big game that we do.
00:23:33
Speaker
um Another fun thing that i learned again as a kid was this crazy thing that we do with just a piece of printer paper. And I have everybody folded in half. And each year i do something different, but you can't look at it. You put it over your head and you tear out whatever I tell you, either an angel Or next year it could be a Christmas tree. Last year, I think it was um a star of Bethlehem. And it's just hilarious to see how people try to get their mind around. How do I tear this out when I open it up? What it will look like. So we do fun things like that. And it's just it's just a sweet time. Of course, if they can spend the night, we will have them spend the night and there'll be a stocking for them on the.
00:24:18
Speaker
the hearth and we will have Christmas breakfast breakfast together. And it just, you know, gives them the comfort of home that they probably wish they were experiencing, but they can't, but they can't with us. So we love that we get to spend that special time with them.
00:24:37
Speaker
As you talk about the singles and all of that, I remember when we were in a hospitality house, the singles would spend the night. And then on Christmas Day, we would have Eggs Benedict in the morning. That was our family's tradition, which we invited them into.
00:24:53
Speaker
And we're just inviting them into being a part of our family. And Amy would always have stockings and presents for the single soldiers. I remember this one year, this guy, he looked at her and he said, this is the only Christmas present I got this year.
00:25:11
Speaker
Those are the kinds of stories that you realize, wow, we're just being the hands and feet of Jesus in very practical ways. So that is a great reminder that we don't need to be more than who we are, what we are.
00:25:27
Speaker
This isn't rocket science, right? You guys talked about helping people serve, giving them opportunities to serve, but you're also modeling it. you're You're opening up your home, your life, and inviting people into it. It doesn't have to be spectacular. Although, Joy, you are a spectacular decorator.
00:25:46
Speaker
But you're just inviting them into who you are and what you do. And it's a reflection of the gospel. It's the reflection of the spirit of Christmas and the coming of Christ. And it's this hospitality, this open life that we get to practice. It's such a privilege. yeah You model it so well.
00:26:07
Speaker
And what comes through is how profound it is.
Hospitality and Community Building
00:26:10
Speaker
It is so simple. And at the same time, this is bringing our lives together. I love it. and I was thinking as you're talking that sometimes we make it out to be something that is almost too hard to do. And I just kept thinking now when when the word says practice hospitality, you just practice it. And the Nike slogan came to mind, just do it. You know, it's not that hard. Keep it simple.
00:26:41
Speaker
Invite these messy people into your mess, even if you're not... prepared necessarily for it. They don't really care. i mean, they just want to be with somebody and, I, it doesn't have to be, you know, a big fancy meal. We do provide that, but I'm talking about when they actually just show up at your door, you know, you can just, I used to always have three things, eggs, brownie mix and tuna fish. I could do breakfast, lunch, or a little, you know, dessert if I needed to And, um you know, they they might only want time over a cup of coffee or take a walk. I mean, all of that is practicing hospitality. And the more you practice, the easier it becomes. And the less you care about your house and and the things that they're all gods, right?
00:27:43
Speaker
We just need to share his resources. and It's just so funny. It just came to my mind. My mom had a sign up in our house. And i I have to say, I was raised in a house of hospitality. We used to kind of laugh that our door was actually one of those revolving doors you used to get to go to at the big, you know, Macy's store or whatever. But people were always welcome in our home. And my mom had this sign that says, although you find our house a mess, come in, sit down, converse. It isn't always like this.
00:28:15
Speaker
Sometimes it's even worse. and I've never forgotten it. It kind of, oh, mom, not today. We didn't even vacuum, you know, whatever. But I'm probably a little bit ocd she She just always had the door open and they were welcome. And she would scrounge something together to feed them. And so I just, I am so grateful for the way that um God has allowed us to join Cadence and use these gifts that he's given us. And we all can practice and put them to use in in this way. So we're thrilled with what God is doing and continues to do through Cadence and through our home.
00:29:01
Speaker
Well, and Joy, I think what you've drawn us to there at the end is we're not talking about just military. Like what you guys are talking about doing it, it's your mom. She practiced this just for a neighbor.
00:29:12
Speaker
it's It's someone in our churches, maybe a family member on a youth sports team. When you have eyes for those that you can love on during the holiday season, there's a profound impact we get to have.
00:29:25
Speaker
We get to share with them. And I think that's a great encouragement for people who who listen because this isn't just military people who listen to these podcasts. It's a lot of people not connected military and they can put into practice the things that you guys have been sharing with us today.
Call to Action and Conclusion
00:29:43
Speaker
Yeah, it's the profound in the mundane, that there's this powerful, transformative work that is happening. And and we could sit here and tell stories that you you could tell stories for hours of the powerful ways that God has worked through the simple things in our lives and right reflects the advent of Christ better than the profound in the mundane. Right. And the simple arrival of this little baby, that every it changes everything, everything.
00:30:12
Speaker
And we get to live and practice that. you're You're living and practicing that, you guys. You're doing it so well. And it's a beautiful picture in your home. So thank you. Thank you for the stories, the emotions, the memories. Man, what a privilege. we just I hope everyone listening can sit there as well as step into a couple mundane moments that might just mean the world to someone this holiday season.
00:30:37
Speaker
And to everyone listening, if if you have a military family member or a friend or anything, and you want them to know that there's a ministry like the Bissonnets have close to them, you can go to our webpage, cadence.org, and we have a list of all of our ministry locations around the world.
00:30:54
Speaker
And we hope that your kids, your friends, your nephews, your nieces, whatever it may be, that they can be blessed by a similar ministry this Christmas season. Merry Christmas.
00:31:04
Speaker
Merry Christmas.