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Best of Season 4: World of Food Reviews! (60k Celebration!) || Chowtsunami
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Hello everyone and welcome to the best of Season 4. In our final episode of the month we finish up with a delicious episode where I am joined by wrestler extraordinaire Martin MacAlistair to dive into the world of food reviews on our new sub series Chowtsunami. Without any further ado, hope you enjoy!
To celebrate reaching 60k plays of Chatsunami, we have released a new sub series dedicated to food and travel called Chowtsunami! In this episode, Satsunami and wrestler Martin MacAlistair take on the world of food reviews!
What would it take to give one star? What happened to the chips? And what is Satsunami's worst nightmare?! All of this and more in the premiere of this new series!
This podcast is a member of the PodPack Collective, an indie podcasting group dedicated to spreading positivity within the podcast community. For further information, please follow the link: https://linktr.ee/podpackcollective
Check out all of our content here: https://linktr.ee/chatsunami
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Transcript
Introduction and Sub-series Launch
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello everyone and welcome to the best of Season 4! In our final episode of the month, we finish up with a delicious episode where I'm joined by wrestler extraordinaire Martin the Callister to dive into the world of food reviews on our new sub-series, Chai Tsunami. Without any further ado, hope you enjoy!
00:00:22
Speaker
Welcome to Chai Tsunami.
00:00:35
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome to the first of an episode of Ciao Tsunami. My name's Sat Tsunami and joining me to celebrate 60,000 plays at Ciao Tsunami is none other than the food critic himself, Martin McAllister. Martin, welcome back. It's so good to be back. Famous food critic that I am, you know, go about reviewing lots of food, never saying anything in the lesson. Yes, I'm right. So I'm very happy to be here to chat for with you. Yeah, and what better way to celebrate this Chatsunami milestone than, well, rolling out another sub-series. So as I said there, are yeah, we indeed reached 60,000 plays. So today we are going to be focusing on the first ever episode of Chatsunami, which is going to be a sub-series dedicated to food and travel. So you and I, of course, have talked about travel in the past, and now I'm taking you to the culinary delights of takeaways.
Food Budget Humor and Preferences
00:01:31
Speaker
um It's like, you know how some podcasters have a budget? Yeah, this isn't one of them. Well, I think you're gonna say as in your takeaway budget isn't limited just because it's right getting done as a tax write-off for this project.
00:01:45
Speaker
My budget extends to like a steak bake and that's it. Even that's bankrupting me. ah Oh, have you seen the price limit? Anyway. Today I thought, you know what, let's kick this sub-series off with something a little bit more light-hearted. You know, we're not going to go into the seedy secrets of the takeaway industry or anything.
00:02:08
Speaker
ah Today we are going to be focusing on the world of, yeah, food reviews, restaurant reviews, all of the reviews that you look at and you think, what did that person just complain about? So before we dive into it and we go into the, you know, pardon upon the meat of this episode, what are your experiences? See when, because I know obviously you being at a wrestler, you obviously have to watch what you're eating things, but when you're looking out for a restaurant or just a place to eat in general,
00:02:37
Speaker
What are the kinds of things that you look for? So over the last few years, it's got to be a bit more difficult for me because I've stopped eating meat. So that would be a big thing there is can I actually eat there? Weirdly enough, certain locations like Glasgow, for example, is fantastic. Weirdly, Belfast, terrible place for me. very like with there but I like a good atmosphere. Food's secondary. I think I'm quite unfussy. I very rarely go to a restaurant and go, oh, that was terrible. You know what I mean? I think just having food cooked to me is a good start.
00:03:04
Speaker
Yeah, I'm not a fussy eater. I like a good atmosphere. I'm not big on crazy gimmicks. That's not a thing that really appeals to me like I don't want to have dinner with Mickey Mouse. I'm saying that as someone who just came back from Japan and went to the Pokemon Cafe. What Pikachu just standing above you every breathing? Pretty much. I mean, it was a great experience. But I think it's even different when it's a casual dinner, not on holiday. I don't like live music.
00:03:27
Speaker
I can't put my money up, but I do this chat in my restaurants. Yeah, I think that's a big thing, it's a good atmosphere. And I like to try different food types. My hairdresser, this is a weird segue to get started already, my hairdresser. He is doing a thing that him and his mate have been going out together for, having dinner every, like once every week, once every two weeks. For the last year, I am, what they're trying to do is hit every single country in the world. I think that's impossible, because I don't think every country in the world will be represented in Glasgow, but yeah, that's
Dining Experience Nuances
00:03:52
Speaker
what they're trying to do. So to throw the question back at you, what are you looking for? Yeah, I have to say, the older I get, the more I relate to that because I remember my partner and I, we were looking for a place to go. Very casual, nothing too bad before the cinema. And there was this particular restaurant, again, during this episode, I just want to point out that I'm probably going to avoid as much as possible mentioning specific restaurants and things. Yes, because when someone does sponsor me one day, please. A cheeky sausage roll under the table here.
00:04:24
Speaker
That's Greg's by the way, Greg. Greg's, I love you please. Great Saturday episode. but There was a particular Italian restaurant that my partner and I went to and not only was it overly expensive, it had such booming music and we genuinely could not hear one another. because it was family-oriented and I can get that. I can get one in a lively atmosphere. Even some of the buffet places I've been to recently, and this is something that I genuinely didn't know until my partner pointed it out, but it turns out in buffet places they play really fast music. It's like a psychology you thing. And I remember going to people being like, did you know this? And everyone was like, yeah.
00:05:06
Speaker
yeah you know was bradiiac exactly are you stupid like I genuinely didn't know that. yeah I'm just grooving out to my fifth plate of whatever. like but You do realise you've eaten that in 20 seconds. on what What the hell? Yeah, no, I totally agree with you. The music is just, it's so difficult. And the other thing that puts me off, and this is actually one of my nightmares. This is nightmare tsunami hours there, but sea restaurants that have a happy birthday protocol. ha ah So, what I mean by that is you can ask the waiters or whatever to come out and sing you a happy birthday. That is my personal hell. That is my personal nightmare, which I know they irony of saying that being a podcaster who wants all ears on him, but that is my nightmare. Have you ever had it done? No. Never. And don't you dare. Just making a wee note here.
00:05:55
Speaker
If we go to a restaurant and you're like, oh my, I have to go to the toilet. No clumsy me and my dietary requirements. I also do have to go to the toilet restaurant. We have to be careful how far this goes. I know.
00:06:10
Speaker
I know. As long as it's not like a Witherspoons where it's like you go outside and you have to, you know, trek to Mordor before you actually get into... You know this rule that I set? Don't mention any specifically. Witherspoons, we offer you, please. Please sponsor us. We actually don't. We don't. Aye, I know. I have to pick them up for the money. Don't judge me.
00:06:28
Speaker
I don't know what money, but anyway, yeah, the birthday singing as well. I have to say, the one thing that really surprised me and it's something that we touched on when we talked about our experiences traveling together was, especially in America, and it does happen here, but it happens less frequently when you're in a restaurant and you're trying to eat and you do get the server coming up maybe once or twice to say, you know, is everything
Annoyances and Unsettling Dining Stories
00:06:52
Speaker
OK? They always do it while your meds bite. That's an incredible skill that Oh, it is. Yeah, it's just almost as if they can sense it and then they say, is everything okay? And you don't have a chance to respond to it. Why would you do this? But, you know, I don't find that bad. I do find it bad, however, when you're getting harassed.
00:07:11
Speaker
people whether like oh is everything okay and it's like well you asked me that five minutes ago about 50 times since I've been here so yeah that kind of puts me off. In terms of takeaway places as well I have to say I think it depends on it sounds like a weird thing to say but the atmosphere as well in terms of if I'm going to a place like that whether it's for fish and chips or something or pizza I just want to go and get my food to come out and everything. I remember I once went into a fish and chip place and there was like this blood curdling scream outside and I was like, yeah, I'm never coming here again. Yeah, this is enough for me. So I ran back to my car. Of course, the fish and chips are still warm by the end, but that's another story. One thing with takeaways, fish like fish and chips, for me, depending on what mood you're in, depends on what you want. So sometimes, it's especially a takeaway, you don't want good food. yeah You know what I mean? The greasy of the box. If you can feel it soaking through the box, sometimes that's what you want. Saying that out loud, I feel gross about it, but some days I'm just like, no, this is what I need. See, this is what always confuses me, and this is something, of course, we're going to get into in the main episodes, but it absolutely baffles me. See, when I read reviews and they're like, oh, the chips were greasy and so was the food, and I'm looking at this place and 90% of the menu is just greasy in the box.
00:08:25
Speaker
And I just think, what were you expecting from this? I once went to Takeaway Place and have I told you about the mystery cake? So there was this Takeaway very near to me, as in near location wise not near and dear. I think near and dear, mystery cake, I'm sore on this. So I was scrolling through, it must have been just the or one of these apps anyway, I was scrolling through and you know I got my usual and then at the bottom it said desserts and I was like oh right I wonder what they're gonna have so there was just the usual stuff but then there was one thing that just said cake and it did not specify what this was. It just said cake. There was no i logo beside it. There was no information. It just said cake. So I was like, right, okay, I'm going to order this. First time I ordered it, it was unavailable. Even more of a mystery. A couple of months later, I ordered it again. It didn't appear in the box. So I was like, right, I have to know what this cake is.
00:09:24
Speaker
ah So, when it came around again a few months after that, I was like, right, I've got to order this cake. I don't care if I'm wasting money, I just need to know. Do you want to know what it was or should I keep it? I'd love to know. It's just chocolate.
00:09:38
Speaker
It's such an anticlimactic thing, but it's like, why don't you put chocolate cake or? No, that's so good. Genuinely, it was the most enigma-fying, if that's even the word. but You know what? Who's the real dummy though? Because you're like, oh, they should have put it on the menu, but you wouldn't have bought it if it said chocolate cake. In fact, that you bought it multiple times to find out what it was. I think they're geniuses. Do you think we should just start a podcast called Cake and just not tell ah Yeah, it's just baffling back. Going back to what you were saying there. Yeah, I do think that you have to have at least a baseline of expectations. I have to say though there was one takeaway that I went to and I was expecting
Humorous Food Reviews and Mix-ups
00:10:19
Speaker
them to make, you know when you go in and you buy a pizza but they make the dough and everything and you can tell they made the dough because it's all ski-wiff and everything, that's perfect. But there was one I went to and they were oddly perfect.
00:10:31
Speaker
with all the holes in them. And I didn't realise until much later that they were all bought in. And that kind of thing puts me off when I see that there's not as much. Again, I know it's a takeaway, but people can still make really good food, you know, foods with love and things like that. Whereas as this place, it was just like a slop tomato sauce and a bit of unmelted cheese on top. It was not nice. It was not nice at all. But speaking of un-nice, will we dive into the world of food reviews? And this is going to be a crazy topic. So without any further ado, we're going to load up the Takeaway app and we're going to have a look. So until then, enjoy these messages. Welcome to Chatanami, a variety podcast that discusses topics from gaming and films to anime and journal interests.
00:11:17
Speaker
Previously on Chatsunami, we've analysed what makes a good horror game, conducted a retrospective on Pierce Brosnan's runs James Bond, and listened to us take deep dives into both the Sonic and Halo franchises. Also, if you're an anime fan, then don't forget to check us out on our sub-series, Chatsunani, where we dive into the world of anime. So far, we've reviewed things like Death Note, Princess Mononoke, and the hit Beyblade series. If that sounds like your cup of tea, then you can check us out on Spotify, iTunes, and all good podcast apps. As always, stay safe, Stay awesome and most importantly, stay hydrated.
00:11:56
Speaker
fancy taking the humorous trip down a random topic each week? You do while you're in luck. Casting Views presented by me Dan and a host of guests bring you just that. With topics from the world of entertainment, science, sport and everyday life, there's bound to be a topic that's going to inform on the news. Catch Casting Views every Sunday on all listening platforms now.
00:12:21
Speaker
Hi I'm Slade from the Game Club Podcast and you're listening to Chattsunami, a member of the Podpack Collective. And we are back. So Martin, will we kick things off with the first review that we came across? but for oh what you Can I ask a question before we start? Do you tell! yeah Do you have the least interviews? Do I? No, because I'm one of those people that gets the wrong order but is too shy to say anything about it. I really should work on that and that is something I'm working on but there have been times where but more than I care to admit where it's just landed on my plate and I'm like I didn't order this but neither are they taking it away. yeah I've had a couple where I've even ordered to my house and everything and it's like I ordered it with coffee and then they came they gave me my order and then I'm standing waiting for the coffee and then they go all right see you later and they walk away and I've just got the tear rolling down my face going to the coffee!
00:13:16
Speaker
but actually in a very similar vein, the same place that I'd ordered from actually came into my house and I told you this. So I'd ordered something for lunch and yeah, I i just heard the door opening and someone going, hello. I working from home at the time and I turned round and I was like, hello?
00:13:37
Speaker
I don't think they realised that by opening my door, they were opening it into the actual house. I didn't know if they thought there was a buffer zone or something. I was like, I should really lock the door more. But it gave me my food, so it was fine. Five stars. So to answer your question, no, not really, but what about you? No, I actually don't either. And I will sometimes, if something's really impressive at all, sometimes I'll leave five stars. Most times, I feel like leaving a one star review is just, I'm not interested. If something's really bad, I'll just ignore it and never go back. You know, you like i don this is probably a bad idea to have because then podcasts can't make for my reviews, but yeah, just very sad. No, I know what you mean. I feel as if it's are really bad, like the place I was saying before the ad break there, that I would never go back to it. You know, I wouldn't even give them my money. I mean, I've had places that have given me either food that's too salty, undercooked and even though it's cheap I'll just never go there again but some people really take their food seriously and honestly God bless them because we wouldn't have this episode but without any further ado are you ready? I am ready. So the first one comes from a bakery and the tagline or rather the subject line was asked what jam was in the jam donut.
00:14:48
Speaker
Now granted, this is a very important thing you know if you're looking for dietary restrictions, but this one star review left me cackling and I don't know why. So this is what they said. They said, asked what jam was in the jam donut. Young lad just replied, I don't know, just jam. With three exclamation marks my lad. Suppose I can look it up. No care in the world. This was 5pm. first of June, blah, blah, blah, please. It should say on the food sign what it contains, most products did. Just the attitude of the member of staff. Now, see asking what's in something I totally sympathise. That is a very important thing to have up. It's just the thought of asking someone they like, oh, just some jam. Do you want the donut?
00:15:39
Speaker
Oh, should I take it? You're like, what? I was going to say, throwing it back to you, unless you have any thoughts. No, I have absolutely no thoughts on this. i've got this this is This one's just a bit wacky. It's quite funny. And it's not so much the review itself, but I just want to read. This is on a Just Eat page. 30th of April, review from Graham. Two stars. 31st of April, review from Graham. Two stars. 1st of May, review from Graham. One star? He's not leaving any comments. But the way that Just Eat works is you have to have ordered to leave a review. So this man's ordered three days in a row. Two stars, two stars, one star. The restaurant itself finally replied on day three. Mate, you didn't like your food, but are still ordering? What are you doing? This is just so good because I said Just Eat does actually verify that you can't leave a review without having done it. It's just not so much it's a hi, mate. What are you doing?
00:16:28
Speaker
and So the next one, and I think it was when you sent me, it was a woman who said, I saw a rat while sitting here and I've got no idea what the place is, but it's got a response from the owner that says that's called a mirror.
00:16:44
Speaker
The thing of takeaways replying and being mean would never not be funny. I i know it's a horrible thing to say and I do feel these people are even terrible views, but there's always a bit of comedy getting slammed by a restaurant. A similar one is one in Glasgow and I won't name it, but it's very, very famous. Actually, people are the same people. It's very, very famous for leaving slanderous comments. Is this the kebab place by any chance? Yeah. Some would say it's the best kebab place in Glasgow. One-star reviews on TripAdvisor. Cannot believe this place is not shut down. I brought my son home at Donna first dinner know and soon after he was viciously sick. I've got this exact one. It was so bad he was viciously sick. Absolutely disgraceful. My son could have died. The response from the owner. Tell your son I'm really sorry. Sorry that he won't be getting any more kababs he's bought. That's horrible. That's me national news by the way.
00:17:35
Speaker
I honestly wish I could say, oh, I'm just kidding, haha, but no, this chain of my maids, the newspapers, the outrage was so real. That's so good. In the similar vein, I was looking at a couple of, again, Just Eat ones. I've got one that I actually can't remember, and I'm going to lump these two together, but I genuinely can't remember where this review was for. But it's just from a woman that says, chips weren't cooked one star.
00:18:02
Speaker
ah you ah You know brevity is a soul of what volume shakes me up in the takeout game Chips weren't cooked. Just that's it Can you imagine being a restaurant owner and just seeing that and being like who'd I reply to that?
00:18:17
Speaker
That's what bothers me a lot of these reviews. like A lot of times it's just nonsense reviews. Obviously you get a lot of legit stuff, but you get people that are just obviously just leaving whatever they feel like saying. Just on that same note, I've got one here. yeah And you know how you just eat those groceries? Now you can get a grocery shopping. So on a grocery one from Gavin, I specifically said on the notes, no tomatoes in the veg and there's more tomatoes than gyros. The response, that's not even our order. We don't do that product. Can you please check where you order off from?
00:18:46
Speaker
This is like grocery store getting random one-star reviews from other people. What did you think you ordered from? I mean that would be so annoying if you were ordering from there and you're like two out of ten, you're Ginster's Pie's one under good. Actually speaking of that, speaking of unfulfilled orders, I've got a couple here and it's some that In fact, sorry, before I go on, I've got one from someone who is a guy who's just said the word terrible, but he's not even put one star, he's put one of the half stars, which either means it's a misclick or he's one of those people that goes online and says that sometimes a 7 out of 10 is just
Bizarre and Controversial Reviews
00:19:26
Speaker
okay. Yeah, the IDN. Exactly. This one's my favourite. This is kind of lumped in together for two of them. First one being in all caps and very misspelled. So the guy says, never received the delivery. It went to the wrong house. Someone enjoyed my food.
00:19:45
Speaker
which I found hilarious but the next one is another guy one star again missing items that were for my younger kids sausage rolls now they're crying after eating one hour and a half and they changed it to a curry bake which they won't eat That's so sad. Papa, when we get our luncheon? I don't know. He's your curry bank. But I'm allergic. He's your curry bank. We got it now. It's bad enough when your order goes absolute when nothing. But have you ever had that before with a like, oh, sorry, we don't have X, here's Y. No, never. This is one of these things that, you know, that whole thing about what you're going to do, stab me says, man, just they've just been stabbed. But I've never had any bad experiences for like things going missing. If I obviously had food that goes a bit late, you know, that's different, but never anything that's hours and hours late or food wrong and stuff like that. I don't know if maybe I'm just, is it because I ordered simple dishes or is it because, you know what I mean? I don't know. Do these people order complicated things that I've always wondered? I feel like it's never me for these things. yeah no i'm the same i have to say i mean other than the cake obviously but we've been very in depth about that my next one is kind of like my finale it's my favorite review of all time but anything food or otherwise it's from a pub this is quite a famous one but so there's three reviews on this pub so five stars and they're the review so it's in the middle of two reviews So bottom review, five stars. Top review, four stars. Good food, nice and clean, friendly staff. The middle review however, three stars. For a pub, an old friend was murdered and he was hacked to death in front of his wife and people. Not for me really. RIP Steve. Three stars. Jesus Christ. And I just felt like, what does he have to do to leave a one star review? Because he was like, someone died in his pub, three stars. What's the criteria here? Like, what are you ranking? ah Took what an earlier review. Chips weren't cooked.
00:21:33
Speaker
I just love it because he was like, I have to leave a review, but I have to be honest about why I'm giving it three stars. You know, he couldn't just not leave that review. He's like, no, no, I have to leave a freestyle review because I would be murdered in a pub. My God. Yeah.
00:21:46
Speaker
So you know how I was asking really like, do you ever leave reviews? I just don't understand the thought process of someone being like, I have to leave this review. I have to tell them. and I'd give it three stars as well. Yeah, I genuinely don't understand some people's thinking, especially for the last couple that I've got here. And I'm just going to quick fire through them because some of them are absolutely excellent. Again, I've got another one saying, in capital letters, which I always find hilarious. Yeah, capital is a good sign. It's a case of shoden for us.
00:22:16
Speaker
isn't it? Where it's just like taking happiness out the misery of others here but it's just I still haven't got my food and I ordered it at 11 30 and that is now nearly 2 30.
00:22:28
Speaker
Aww. Yeah, that would be angry. You're not getting your food. No, it is gone. It's eaten in the car. I'm sorry. Sorry you had to find out this way. We've got another one from... I want to say this is an American one where the person says, The food was terrible. I ordered a chicken dish and got small pieces of battered dry chicken mixed in with battered prawns. Totally ruined this dish. Good job. I'm not allergic to prawns. I won't be ordering it from them again.
00:22:52
Speaker
you know, very standard, two and a bit stars, that's fine at its own. But then, of course, the owner replies and says, Hi, so and so, will you please open your eyes and read the descriptions? You ordered this special sweet and sour, which contains king prawns. You got what you ordered. So how is this our fault? The food was fresh and perfectly cooked. We are good, but my reading this stupid is not one of our skills.
00:23:22
Speaker
That's so mean. it's So mean. That is so funny. There is another one that I'm not going to read the full review because it gets quite personal, but long story short, it sounds as if the writer of this left a one star and said that one of the workers there was having relations with their husbands, got very angry. That is whatra is fantastic. Do you mind if I read it out? Go for it. This is worth a read. This person says, the girl who answers the phones of this takeaway, so and so, likes to sleep with married men behind her wife's back. This is a takeaway review, by the way. Do not order from here if you want your husbands to sleep with other women. She's 19, my husband. She'd be laughing. My husband is 45. Says a lot, doesn't hurt she it? find people on age. So she has to find older men who are married. Food is awful as well, finally.
00:24:15
Speaker
I love that lotaria dope. Food is awful as well. Never liked the foods coming here for years but won't be coming here again. We'll be going to Panda Hut from now on. This girl needs to be sacked. No professionalism and flush with men on the phones all day. Would give zero stars if I could. The response!
00:24:35
Speaker
ah yeah if you thought the last one was perfect oh my god so the guy it said apologies for the issue please come to our store and claim a free apple car It all gets better. Apologies again. Kindly show this message to the staff.
00:24:56
Speaker
Can you imagine? My husband's being unfaithful. I'm happy, I'm full, grandpa. That's a Would you even pick another? Would you? Who would come back with another? Is that him? That's funny.
00:25:16
Speaker
but it it is I don't care. I don't know what's worse, obviously the emotional output or the fact that someone in the management said, I give her a free apple crumb, that'll fucking hate the situation. Oh my god, when I was reading that, I thought there is no way that's And just to wrap up, we have a couple that some of our amazing listeners had submitted. The podcast The What Else Show had sent in a good couple of restaurants I have to say. All of them are pretty standard in terms of the reviews. There was one place that I was really surprised at. It was a place that it's supposed to be like a no-nonsense French restaurant where you're not allowed to ask for substitutions or anything. You're just haveva odds
00:26:08
Speaker
I was reading through the reviews and some people are very much like, oh it was great, no no one sends, you know, oh you have to dress, blah blah blah blah. I mean this person's just said one star, worst experience I've ever had, tables I covered in plastic like an old person's couch, services bossy, rude and pompous, food was decent, just not worth the hassle that comes with dining with the man that has no business being in the service industry. I think he's Selling. I hope that someone who enjoys cooking can take over. Such a shame to see so much ego unchecked. There was another place for a chicken restaurant that said they had such high hopes for a place but they waited over an hour for two chicken sandwiches. And they weren't even special. Their words, not mine. Just the basic ones they offer shouldn't take that long for two sandwiches. pitches. There was another one from our good friends at Seismic Cinema from the Bodpack Collective. It was a family who were complaining about patrons who were on a night out for the work that they were being very rowdy. Have you actually ever experienced that before? You've gone to a restaurant and the table across from you are being very... Oh yeah, I mean that's getting all the restaurant salt, isn't it? Yeah, not exactly. They've basically put the blame on the restaurant saying, oh they'd rather take their money than ours and blah blah blah. And you're like, well,
00:27:25
Speaker
They're drunk, they're wanting to throw money at you. I can see where the priorities lie. As bad as it is, the penultimate one is from the Krusty Boys podcast who says, all right, here's what I've heard from the place I work at. Best Caesar salad I have ever had and I've even eaten Caesar salad in New York.
00:27:47
Speaker
The Humble Brag. Does New York sell the really good Caesar salad? I have no idea. I didn't know it was famous for it. It's probably its least famous food. And the other ones where are from the same person. These are the best nachos I've ever had and I'm from Florida. The next one, Yobum. These fries are banging.
00:28:10
Speaker
And last but certainly not least, but they don't even have Chinese food in parentheses, we're a pizza place. Which, absolutely baffling. But the final one that I have to leave us off on, because I found this on Reddit, I cannot stop laughing. Honestly, if this is fake, it is one of the best pieces of prose that I've read this year. ah So this is someone reviewing a restaurant, they've given it two stars. Again, much like yourself, I don't know what they would have to say to be one star. But they've said, been here a few times.
00:28:43
Speaker
And each time, it's felt like I'm in the middle seat of a three hour flight between a couple who's on the verge of a divorce, but neither one wants to bring it up. Or at the in-laws for the holidays, and Grandma is still somehow alive, so you gotta go to church at 7am. Or you're stuck in the line at the self checkout, watching a woman old enough to have dated Abraham Lincoln try and get a coupon to scan. Or your neighbour's got a new dog.
00:29:12
Speaker
I guess better. All your neighbours got a new dog and it's trying to show you it knows tricks that it's been 15 minutes and all the dog has done is bark. Every second I have spent here I've been dreaming of being somewhere else. Two stars because it keeps the people who live the lives I mentioned above corralled in one location.
00:29:34
Speaker
ah That is one of the greatest slum down reviews I've ever read in my life. That's so good. I mean next to the apple pie affair. That's incredible. I've actually got a final, a cheery one. Ooh, do tell. It's a one star review, but as well as yours because I thought it was quite cute. One star review. Took your first date here because I really wanted it to be the last date. Unfortunately the food came out delicious and very fresh tasting. They were not rude to my date at all, which pissed me off because I was really banking on that. was that was ah is was that one I have to say it reminds me of when you were telling me about the time you went to America to one of those, was it like a rude restaurant?
Listener Engagement and Call to Action
00:30:12
Speaker
That was the gimmick. The thing is, I'm always confused when I see negative reviews for those places and it is like the staff were rude to another day. What did you want? Did you not expect this? I mean, to be honest, if you get that here, it's like a rite of passage. I'm sorry, but no, I'm not dealing with this boy. So, what are your final thoughts on that? That was a whirlwind rite of bizarre things. I'm glad we did it. Me too, me too.
00:30:40
Speaker
If you out there listening at home have any funny, weird, bizarre food reviews that you've seen in the wild, please feel free to reach out to us and let us know because we would love to read them, laugh along with them, so long as it doesn't dox you or anything please.
00:30:56
Speaker
Feel free to yeah keep an eye out for those reviews, not even in terms of entertainment value, just for your own safety, for your own culinary sanity. But yeah, before we wrap up, ah Martin, where can these lovely food reviewers and listeners find your content? and All the way over on Instagram is probably the best place to find me. I don't share much of what I eat, but you never know. Maybe you'll get to see protein bars up close. Two stars. Two stars. Two stars. There was only one of them.
00:31:23
Speaker
And yeah, if you want to catch more content from ourselves, as well as the rest of the Chat Tsunami team, you can of course check us out on our website, chattsunami.com, as well as all good podcast providers. I also want to thank our Pandalurian Patrons, RoboticBattleTosers, and Sonya. Thank you so, so much for supporting the show as always, and if you would like exclusive content behind the scenes, even early access on YouTube can join us over at patreon dot.com forward slash chattsunami. I also want to point out that this podcast is part of the Podpack Collective. If you want further information, then check us out on Twitter slash X at our handle, Podpack Collect. But until next time, stay safe, stay awesome, stay hydrated, and most importantly, please leave us five stars of vegan air. Please don't leave us being refused.