Transcript
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Welcome back to the future is Zen.
Speaker: I am Janae.
Speaker: I'm Karina.
Speaker: We're broadcasting from Detroit, Michigan and Atlanta, Georgia.
Speaker: Welcome.
Speaker: welcome okay so we of course had an entire episode planned this morning and i got on feeling some type of way and i think it's important that when we're feeling some type of way that we bring it to this space because that's why we created this space we've mentioned um in previous takes that we
Speaker: want to move away from social norms that tell us that we have to be one way.
Speaker: And so when I was getting on to the podcast this morning, I thought to myself, oh my gosh, like I didn't review the episode guide that Karina so beautifully put together for us.
Speaker: I hadn't taken any notes.
Speaker: I hadn't prepared my client's
Speaker: like for my clients this morning and i have to jump on cause right after the episode um because i was up last night preparing for my daughter's 13th birthday and so i didn't get to do the pre-prep that i hoped that i was going to be able to do for this morning and immediately like the overwhelming feelings of shame
Speaker: became very prevalent.
Speaker: Like I'm thinking to myself, should we push it back?
Speaker: Am I going to be able to give good content?
Speaker: Am I taking this seriously?
Speaker: Like the amount of conversations that I had in my brain, just because I didn't review the episode guide.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And that's it for me, Rini.
Speaker: Like that's the entire conversation.
Speaker: Like when we talk about living God with truth and healing and learning how to thrive,
Speaker: and wanting to do things differently.
Speaker: Like, I feel like we have to name what happens in our mind when the thoughts of not being enough show up.
Speaker: Yeah, like that leads me to a lot of thoughts and I feel that way often.
Speaker: It leads to my anxiety all the time that I'm like, I'm not prepared enough.
Speaker: I'm not, I'm not,
Speaker: we are expected to show up feeling the same or being the same as mothers, as professionals, as employees.
Speaker: Like there's this level of constant,
Speaker: expectation for how we show up.
Speaker: We don't wake up feeling the same every day.
Speaker: As women, as mothers, life happens.
Speaker: Birthdays happen.
Speaker: Hormonally, we don't wake up feeling the same every day.
Speaker: I don't know about men specifically, but my gut tells me just based on what my husband asks that they are not the same every day either.
Speaker: Like they PMS.
Speaker: Something's happening with them.
Speaker: Yet, like society expects us to show up.
Speaker: And I'm not saying the expectations don't matter because sometimes your professional role, like if you're a teacher, yeah, you do need to show up and be consistent for those babies.
Speaker: Those babies are therapists.
Speaker: You do need to show up and be consistent for your clients.
Speaker: But you should also be able to show up from time to time and say, like, I'm not all the way there today.
Speaker: And we should be able to be really honest when people say, how are you doing?
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: Oh, that's so sweet.
Speaker: I'm still awake right now.
Speaker: Or I'm struggling because I didn't sleep last night.
Speaker: Or I don't know.
Speaker: But that's not the way society is.
Speaker: But I do hope to see that in the future so that people like us don't have to try and smile and act like everything is okay when it's not.
Speaker: Life just happens.
Speaker: And someone like yourself and myself, we're over planners.
Speaker: We over plan to make sure life doesn't happen.
Speaker: You have a super structured schedule.
Speaker: And I sit and try to predict everything.
Speaker: with an unpredictable two-year-old.
Speaker: But that leads to the anxiety is that it's like, I spent time over planning this when really what I've been trying to work on, I want to hear how you got over it and how you decided to like- Yeah, right?
Speaker: But my last thing is like, for me, I've been-
Speaker: just give myself a little bit of an affirmation or a mantra about my ability to handle what arises.
Speaker: Because that's what it's about.
Speaker: I'm over planning.
Speaker: I'm like, whatever arises on this podcast and whatever I show up to say, you're going to have an answer already.
Speaker: And I'll just give myself that, like boost the confidence, like
Speaker: I cannot plan for all life situations, but I can change my mind and my mind to guide me.
Speaker: No, I love that, Rini.
Speaker: That was everything.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Like that was everything.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So one thing I think is important to know is that I am, I'm a, I, I study holistic psychology.
Speaker: And so I believe in the mental, physical, and spiritual support that we offer to clients so that they can heal.
Speaker: And so for me, that means that I'm committed to a daily practice of creating my own blueprint for wellness.
Speaker: And so it doesn't mean that I'm going to get it right every morning, but it means that I am consciously trying to identify these negative patterns that come from my past that do not allow me to create my conscious self.
Speaker: Like that's what I do every single morning.
Speaker: And so.
Speaker: I found that I was getting ready to go into a spiral because I am a recovering, people-pleasing perfectionist.
Speaker: So it was less about me not being prepared and more about me not wanting to disappoint you.
Speaker: So I want to be able to show up for my bestie who has agreed to do this project with me.
Speaker: who has put in the time and effort to create a tool so that we can guide our listeners on the journey of wellness.
Speaker: And I didn't do my part, right?
Speaker: Like that's what showed up for me.
Speaker: And so the first thing I had to do was give myself permission to know who the fuck I'm on the call with.
Speaker: Like, I don't have to be like that with you, which is why you're my best friend, right?
Speaker: So one, you will lead the call.
Speaker: Like, I know that you prepared the episode guy, right?
Speaker: So I don't have to come in and be the leader in this space.
Speaker: I can let you know in advance.
Speaker: Listen, Rini, I glanced over the episode.
Speaker: Oh, God, you lead.
Speaker: Like jump in the driver's seat and I'll follow you, right?
Speaker: Because you know that we're going to be able to feed off of each other.
Speaker: You know that we're going to get into good conversations about awakening to life's purposes.
Speaker: And we're going to be able to do what we came here to do, which is offer people a space to just be authentic.
Speaker: And so once I...
Speaker: allowed myself to come online to the fact that it didn't have to be the way I thought it was going to be.
Speaker: I put on an energy mantra.
Speaker: I burned some Palo Santo.
Speaker: I took a deep breath and then I jumped on and was like, Rini, I got thoughts.
Speaker: Like, how do you want to do it?
Speaker: And then you were like, listen, I got to answer to your thoughts.
Speaker: Let's
Speaker: And that's the magic of being able to be present for the moment.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: That's the gifts of friendship.
Speaker: That's the gift of awareness.
Speaker: That's the gift of authenticity.
Speaker: And so I say like seven minutes, I feel better and I can go about my day knowing that I allow my whole self to show up in this moment.
Speaker: I love that too.
Speaker: I mean, the real when will be when we can take that energy and say to anyone who's even not our best friend or who we might not feel as comfortable about or who might somehow hold a position of power behind.
Speaker: But yeah, I had a little bit of anxiety this morning too and just had to think like, you're hopping on with Janae.
Speaker: And thinking it's never a need.
Speaker: Why am I...
Speaker: anxious about talking to humans.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: It's just like that whole incentive mechanism.
Speaker: I am sure we will be able to connect with some other people who might have had... Hello.
Speaker: Morning.
Speaker: And you can take this and use these tips.
Speaker: A simple mantra, a simple affirmation that you have within yourself can help you move
Speaker: through whatever is bothering you.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And I also want to share with you guys my energy mantra.
Speaker: Actually, Rini and my other best friend, Chantel, introduced me to this and I have literally been living in it forever.
Speaker: It's the I forgive myself and I release mantra.
Speaker: It has been my entire life.
Speaker: We'll put it in the show notes, but
Speaker: I wake up in the morning to it before I go into meditation.
Speaker: I do it like when I need to be able to remind myself that I don't have to be in control.
Speaker: I put it on like it has been everything.
Speaker: So shout out to tools that help you remember that you don't have to be perfect.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm a covering perfectionist.
Speaker: Don't forget y'all to stay in your zen.
Speaker: And we love you.
Speaker: We love you.
