Is Positivity just oblivious contentment?

What is Positivity?

You may think that ‘positivity’ doesn’t belong with such states of being as OCD, Anxiety, ADHD and the others featured in this 13-part series, but I think it does because it is markedly different than the average person. Positivity isn’t just being nice. Positivity isn’t being positive blindly. It is a state of being in which your base level is high positivity. You tend to see the big picture and your scale is set properly (see below).

The Reality of Positivity

The reality is that this state isn’t just being cheery, but seeing the light at the end of the tunnel and not sweating the proverbial small stuff. People tend to be suspicious of people who are very positive. We think they are so nice to us because they must want something. They don’t. We think they aren’t listening or taking something to heart. They are.

My Experience with Positivity

It can get a bit daunting when you don’t know a lot of people who are also positive. When everyone else is down most of the time, and seem to always seek out the negatives you can feel a bit left out. Strangely enough, being the positive one can really make you feel like the odd duck when something doesn’t bother you as much as it bothers other people. When you speak up about it they tend to think you are taking the side of the opposition when in fact, you are simply expressing your perception of what’s happening on the whole.

People like commiseration and they will view your positivity sometimes as condescension, lack of empathy and lack of interest.

Sometimes with positivity, no good deed goes unpunished.

It of course is part of the human condition to have ups and downs—by design.

I have often said that without fail people who seem the happiest and kindest are the people who have gone through the most difficult of times. I have said that their scale is set properly and they actually know what zero feels like.

(listen to the story demonstrating this on this episode)

Coping with Positivity

It might sound odd to ‘cope’ with something good, but there are downsides to this. The squeaky wheel gets the grease, but the silent one gets nothing. So, being positive and not complaining, and not speaking up when something isn’t perfect can mean that you get less attention, less forgiveness and, understanding. Sometimes you have to remember to ‘let something get to you’ so that you have an equal and opposite reaction to things in your life—instead of sitting idly by and envying those that always speak up and are treated with more respect.

It’s a delicate balance.