Depression and throwing away the container

This is a separate article that goes with this podcast episode. it is not a transcript but rather an alternate summary of what the episode is about.

NOTE: Depression, and worse (the meaning of “throwing away the container”) is a delicate subject. The truth is that all mental health is a delicate subject, as is the psyche that we all possess and protect—voluntarily or otherwise. This is the fourth recording of this episode. Though I am no stranger to re-recording (I tend to re-record vs. edit to maintain the right flow) I’ve never had to re-record this many times. My challenge was balancing staying near my self-imposed 10-minute limit, sharing too much, treating the subject with the respect it deserves, and coming up with a meaningful, tangible take-away.

And that’s why I recorded it four times.

What is depression

Depression comes in many forms, and as with many states of being, there is a spectrum. We are talking about sadness all the way to the ultimate sacrifice. It is a sadness, a despair, and worse.

The reality of depression

The reality is that there is a lot of confusion and frustration. There’s clinical depression—some of it caused by external forces. There is sadness, despair, and thoughts of throwing away the container (more on that later). These feelings, impulses, and desires can form a vicious circle of a downward spiral. See below.

My experience with depression

This is one of the reasons I recorded this four times. How much is TMI, and how much is enough to help someone? I have experienced depression—due to situational circumstances. I have some times said, “I am too happy of a person to feel this sad.” I’m sure I’m not the only one that has a baseline happiness that is pretty high. But sometimes things get tough. Sometimes there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. When you have a pain that is so great you make the leap of logic and understand that these bad feelings—along with the good ones—are all kept in the same vessel, or container. So, logically speaking, if you get rid of the container, you get rid of the bad feelings and the unbearable pains.

The problem is that you get rid of the good stuff too, and the entire container.

Expressing your state of depression to others is beyond taboo for some people and is usually met with a quick solution as if they are helping you with a math problem. Most people aren’t willing to experience that level of empathy because sometimes there isn’t a solution. They are too content in their own bubble. So you suck it up and attempt to persevere.

And sometimes you just try to help others.

The reality is that just googling the S word throws a phone number into your face. But what if you just want to see what level of these thoughts is “normal?” The system is so concerned with preventing this that there is no middle ground.

I’ve said that it’s easier to get someone to talk you out of buying a boat than it is to talk to someone about the general concept of throwing away the container. And that’s all someone needs sometimes. So perhaps we should make this option just as available as the nuclear option.