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Quitting in Academia | When is it ok? Side note, it's always ok - Ep 28
58 Plays3 years ago
In this episode, we celebrate our 1 year anniversary! Yay! What a wild year it has been for everyone. We are so grateful for every one of you. We also have a heart-to-heart and discuss the process of quitting in academia, the pros and cons, and the thought process behind the academic pressures amidst a pandemic.
Links
- It's ok to quit your PhD:
- Three Questions to ask yourself before quitting your PhD
- Why you should quit your PhD
- Should I quit my PhD?
Contact
- Show
- Twitter: @idigitpodcast
- Email: [email protected]
- Alyssa
- Instagram: aal.archaeology
- Twitter: Lyssakemi
- Michaela
- Instagram: mm_digitalized
- Twitter: m_mauriello
Affiliates
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to iDicket Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
You're listening to the Archaeology Podcast Network. You're listening to the iDicket Podcast, a podcast where we talk about the student perspective of navigating the world of archaeology and anthropology. I'm your host, Michaela. And I'm your host, Alyssa.
00:00:22
Speaker
Hey guys, welcome into today's episode. Hey yo, I have some exciting things, I guess.
Celebrating One Year of Podcasting
00:00:31
Speaker
Exciting meaning in two days, right now it is April 14th and two days it is April 16th. And exactly one year ago on April 16th, 2020, I messaged Alyssa
00:00:42
Speaker
saying something along the lines with like, Hey, do you want to start a podcast with me? And I was like, yo, yo, let's do it. And then that was the start of this podcast. So welcome to our one year anniversary episode.
00:00:59
Speaker
Claps, claps, claps, claps. Yay. Yay. It's going to be a little bit of like a mini sewed, a little bit of a little bit of everything and a little update as well as discussions on. Yeah.
Academic Crises and the Concept of Quitting
00:01:12
Speaker
This episode, we're going to get a little heavy, um, talking through our midlife crises or mid early PhD crises rather, and just about
00:01:23
Speaker
quitting in general and if that's a feasible option, spoiler alert it is, and just like how to work through it, or maybe not how to work through it, it's just me talking through it and hopefully you can relate or not in some way. Anniversary! Wow! I can't believe it's already been a year. That is crazy.
00:01:49
Speaker
Wow. I know we like talk about how we just kind of keep moving around like this past year. And it's kind of wild like looking back at our other episodes being like, oh, I just moved to Sacramento. It's like, oh, I just moved to Palo Alto. It's like, oh, we're doing this. I just moved back from Cambodia. I was like, I just moved back from the UK. I just got kicked out of Cambodia because of pandemic.
Building a Supportive Community
00:02:14
Speaker
But we have such a cool community. It's like, I love everyone. It's like our discourse popping like a lot lately. Our Instagram's doing nice and we have so many wonderful followers that just reach out to us. We talk to them.
00:02:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's it's been crazy how many people have come into this community we just decided to create one day. And like, it shows how much of a need there is for like a common space where people can just like chat about what they're doing and be interested in history and people.
00:02:53
Speaker
I love our Discord. I love all the channels that we have, and just everyone can just have a space to talk and discuss whatever. We have a section called Inclusivity in Archaeology, and one of them is Trans in Archaeology. And we have several people in our Discord posting in it. And I'm just always just feeling so happy that people feel safe to be posting.
00:03:22
Speaker
in here. And it just it feels inclusive. And I know we're always striving for inclusivity and with our transcriptions and with the captions on our visualizers. And we're just trying hard to be able to make this accessible for all and being very inclusive.
00:03:41
Speaker
And I think what's really cool about having such a big community is that they tell us things that we didn't even think of when we're making things. Like, yeah, we preach inclusivity, but we didn't have transcriptions. And then someone was like, hey, you should do this. And we're like, yeah, we should do this. And then someone reached out to me. He's like, hey, can you make a trans and archaeology section? And I'm like, yeah, that sounds like a good idea. And I have never thought once about being trans and archaeology.
00:04:09
Speaker
just being able to have someone provide that perspective I think opens up so much about just like how non-inclusive archaeology is in general and what needs to be done and what is being done and it's really cool to have all of these different perspectives from so many different types of people around the world because we do have people from around the world which is crazy
00:04:38
Speaker
So cool. So thank you guys.
Engaging with Young Minds
00:04:41
Speaker
You guys are amazing. It's always fun to go through the general chat and see people just talking about gloves or their dogs with like a little trowel toy. And speaking of like D and D for a while, and it was just like, yeah, it's like, these are my people.
00:05:03
Speaker
We're all nerds, it's great! But I feel like a lot of like, ologists are nerds in some way, shape, or form. I love it, it's great. We're not weird, like those normies, I don't know. I mean, I don't really know.
00:05:23
Speaker
Speaking of ologists, this is kind of a sidetrack, but today I did a presentation to a fourth grade class in Chicago. Because while I was living in Cambodia, I was like writing journals for this thing called Reach the World, and basically they just like compile all the things you do and then they send it to classrooms or whatever. So they started reading my journals
00:05:47
Speaker
like this month, like a year after I've been in Cambodia now. So it's like been a while and they reached out and they were like, Hey, can you like give a presentation? And we've been reading like all your journals. I was like, Oh, I haven't thought about this stuff in forever, but sure. And like, it was during a really busy week and like super stressful week. And so I was like dreading this talk, but once I did it, it was so cute. And they were like,
00:06:11
Speaker
So keen on listening to like every word I said and there were so many questions afterwards. And there was this one girl who was like, my family is from Japan too and we have royalty. And I was like, oh my God, me too. And then she's like, when I grow up, I want to be a paleontologist, but if that doesn't work out, I want to be an archeologist. I was like, yes.
00:06:33
Speaker
It's like, go dig things. And she would dig things up. It's so cute. She was like, if I want to be a paleontologist, I have to study biology and I have to study geology. Biology is the study of life forms. And geology is, I don't remember what geology is, but I have to study it. Oh my god, that's so cute. It was so cute. And it just warmed my heart. And even though it was such a stressful day, that was a highlight.
00:07:03
Speaker
Yeah. So cute. What a babies. That's really cute. Yeah. Yeah. So be an ologist. Be an ologist. Listen to the podcast ologies. Valley Ward. Is that what that is? It's fun. It's just about different ologists in the world. Wow. Yeah. That makes so much sense. They had Atalatalangelo on there. Oh, of course. For experimental archaeology. We love Atalatalangelo. Yeah.
00:07:34
Speaker
It's a, it's a fun podcast. So, but yeah, so check them out. I mean, everyone does, but yeah, it's like, if you don't happen to know about them, but that's cute. And speaking about being an ologist. Ah, yes. It's one of those days.
00:07:57
Speaker
One of those weeks. One of those years. One of those decades. One of those lives. One of those eons.
PhD Challenges and Doubts
00:08:10
Speaker
full transparency right now. So Michaela and I just, well, we hopped from one call to this call, so we didn't really just have a call. It's been a one continuous call, but I had a good ugly cry right before this. We love good, ugly cries. Yeah, I actually feel a lot better kind of. That's good. Yes, how are we doing?
00:08:39
Speaker
Like we, as in you and I? We are great. We, you and I are doing awesome together as friends. Yes. Kiss kiss. Separately though.
00:08:54
Speaker
What are we doing? Things happen, life happens, whether we want it to or not. We can't control a lot of things in this world, which is something with somebody, if you have anxiety, it doesn't really go too well. And it's just like, why can't I do this?
00:09:14
Speaker
I definitely relate. Um, today I went to an anxiety workshop and yay for trying to fix yourself. No, it's okay. We don't need to fix anything. We just need to learn to deal with it a little better. Um, but yeah, they, they said a lot of things that really registered with how I'm feeling. And then.
00:09:43
Speaker
had a good cry about it. Work. Work is good. I'm finally catching up on work again. I'm not catching up on work. It's not like I've been like not working or not not working. I haven't been working for like a month because there's just been no projects for me. So work's finally picking back up is what I meant to say. And so
00:10:04
Speaker
It's nice. I got to work with my amazing coworker, Diana, this entire week. And we just were talking, surveying, and just vibing. And we're both fully vaccinated now. And we're just having a great time. We're just talking about video games, movies, archaeology, life. It was the whole shebang. And I was just like, I love social life. I know, right?
00:10:26
Speaker
I've missed this. And then a big project that's going to be all summer starting next week. So I need to get my car fixed because I missed my mirror up when I first moved up to Sacramento.
00:10:40
Speaker
And I hadn't gotten it fixed. I went to go and get it fixed and they were like, no, it's totally fine. Like we popped it back into place. And then like a month later, I'm like, no, bro, this is trying to come apart still. And I wasn't able to go back down to get it seen for a while. And now they have the part there, it's all painted, but they wouldn't send it up to Sacramento. And I'm like, well, I don't want to have to pay for labor fees at two different Volkswagen dealerships. And so I'm like driving back down to SoCal. And then yesterday,
00:11:07
Speaker
I turned into my garage and my housemate was parked a little too far over, but I didn't register. And so when I was turning into the garage, I clipped the garage because it was too tight of a turn. And I just hear...
00:11:25
Speaker
And I'm just sitting in the car, my eyes wide, my hands on the wheel, and I'm just like, and then I kind of keep going because I'm just like, I can't back up. I don't know. So I kind of like try to maneuver it away from the wall. It's like this SpongeBob episode. You're good. You're good.
00:11:46
Speaker
Don't worry cat, I'm going to buff out those crutches. So I get out of my car and my bumper is trying to come off and then the side of my car is scraped just by the wheel well area.
00:12:00
Speaker
Just when you think life is getting better, car problems. Car problems. Well, there's like a thing that my friend said to me, I've been told that typically car issues always pop up whenever having a tough time. So I can only agree to that sentiment. So I was just like, Oh, there's a lot of things happening. And a professor of mine passed away over the weekend and it really
00:12:26
Speaker
has been hitting hard. And just like after the car thing, and then I was just like on the phone with my dad, like telling him about it. And I just start like that's when I broke down about it. I'm just like, it's like feeling a loss. And I hadn't like, I hadn't seen him in a year, but friends on Facebook just always seeing his posts and just like friends and stuff. And yeah, but yeah, my car will be fine.
00:12:55
Speaker
It's like at least I didn't hit like another car or got hit by another car. I just made a little mistake that can easily be fixed after like a couple hundred dollars. But at least I'll be working more. So my income is going to be steady. That's better.
00:13:19
Speaker
I couldn't think of the right descriptor. Yeah. Cheers to that. My Mercury is also in retrograde
Disillusionment with Academic Careers
00:13:33
Speaker
or whatever you call it.
00:13:35
Speaker
My malarkey's in retrograde. Yeah, so this year in general has been super tough starting a PhD in a pandemic, as we all have heard and know a lot of people are struggling. But I have consistently and more so recently felt like I don't want to be here anymore.
00:14:03
Speaker
not just life, but like, I'm okay. I'm okay. Yeah. I just, I just feel like there's like, it feels like the gut feeling you have when like saying you're like in a relationship, you know, they're toxic for you. You know, it's like a bad situation, but there's just for some reason you're like hanging onto them. It's like, Oh, I've posted about this person too many times on my Instagram. If we break up, I'm going to have to delete all those folks.
00:14:32
Speaker
I guess that sort of thing. But it's like, I know I don't want it and I know it's bad for me, but it's like, how do you quit a Stanford PhD that's fully funded for something that you've been working your entire life for?
00:14:49
Speaker
And like, who is Alyssa when she's not in a graduate degree program? Because I'm in 18th grade now, I've always been in school. Like, who is Alyssa when she's not in school? And like, what do I do if I quit? But I don't know, I feel like I've already made the decision in my head. So like every day I spend here, it's just like pushing back against that. And it's just like that much more painful. So I don't know what is happening.
00:15:16
Speaker
Tune in next week to find out. Tune in next time. We'll figure it out. You'll find out. We'll find out. What would you want to do?
00:15:29
Speaker
I mean, I want to be useful to society. And one way in which that manifests in what I'm interested in is like climate studies and environment. And I think it would be really cool to be working some sort of consulting or whatever you call it firm that works with like
00:15:55
Speaker
Helping communities to combat climate change and like implementing policies that like do that sort of thing and like just something along those lines, I feel like would feel much more fulfilling than what I'm doing right now and like, even like just
00:16:13
Speaker
anthropology in general and the way Stanford teaches in general, it's all like preparing you to be a professor, but like that job position is not open. And when it is open, it's very few people who get it. And if you do get it, you have to move to the middle of nowhere in Ohio or Kansas or somewhere like, like you don't necessarily want to be in no shade to people who live in those states. I'm sorry. I just don't want to be living.
00:16:43
Speaker
But yeah, like usually you have to compromise like different things for a not so great salary and usually you're not tenured in the first place you're adjunct or whatever assistant professorship and making under 60k and having to put in all this work and produce
00:17:02
Speaker
journals and write books and stuff in order to keep your job. And it just doesn't sound fun to me anymore. What I thought of as an ideal career path when I was going through undergrad is just slowly being unveiled as something that is not... I don't want to be working towards that life. That doesn't sound
00:17:25
Speaker
fulfilling like even if you get to teach people like you don't even have time to like teach how you want to teach you have to teach how they want you to teach while you're also producing all of this work in order to like keep your job and like
00:17:38
Speaker
My colleague, Sarah, she's like gone through like one of the best programs in the United States and she found this job position that was like exactly describing like who she is, what she's done, and she still didn't get it. And like that just like, just like everything is telling me that this probably isn't like a feasible career path.
Advice on Quitting a PhD Program
00:18:02
Speaker
Like no matter how much I like archaeology or whatever, it just doesn't feel worth
00:18:07
Speaker
doesn't feel worth right now. That's what's happening. So if you quit your PhD, please send me an email.
00:18:19
Speaker
If you or your loved one have quit a PhD, please send an email to the iticketpodcast at gmail.com. You may be able to be compensated for your time. I just want success stories post-quitting or just feeling better post-quitting. I just want to hear
00:18:40
Speaker
what happens because like I feel like you don't hear that a lot it's usually like oh I pushed through it and everything was fine and I got these opportunities or whatever because I pushed through it but like not everyone can just push through it especially right now especially in this economy especially during this panorama and this pepperoni like
00:19:04
Speaker
Yeah. Life is happening and that's cool. We love life. Sometimes life is kind of annoying and needs to chill. I keep thinking like maybe it's just this one person in my program and like if they weren't part of the equation like it would be better.
00:19:27
Speaker
So like last term, I was taking like the normal amount of credits, it was like 18 units or whatever, which is a full course load, which is like two big seminars. And then I was doing a language. And so I was like, maybe I'm just overloading myself. So if I take less, I'll be fine. So I took, what am I, I'm in 15 credits. So I took three less credits, which is basically a seminar less, but
00:19:52
Speaker
this professor like loaded it to be like worth three seminars worth of work like every every week and we moved into a better place i got a cat like all of the other parts of my life are like chilling and it's just like the school part that's like not
00:20:10
Speaker
doing too great. And that's the major part. And that's the major part. But it's also the part that's like financing my living and like giving me housing and healthcare and all this stuff. And like if I quit, then I quit all of those things too.
00:20:26
Speaker
And I'm like completely 100% dependent on either my partner or my parents and without health care because I'm 26 now and like, yeah, if I quit, I got to find something quick or else I like can't survive in America. So that's fine. But that's just predicting the future or whatever and like having all of this anxiety around things that you don't know.
00:20:49
Speaker
how they're gonna turn out, but I think a lot of the times quitting something you care about is like the hardest part. It's harder than like continuing with it. So I felt this way when I like quit softball too. Like softball was my big identity thing. I played since I was eight until I was 21 in college and like that's the reason I got into college and if I quit then like I didn't deserve to be in college because that's how I got there and
00:21:16
Speaker
Once I quit, I skyrocketed. I was like, yay! I'm a researcher now and doing fun things. Now I'm a researcher and I don't want to do that anymore. Sorry, internet, you're getting my therapy session, but it's fine. I hope you can relate in some way. Archaeology is fun.
00:21:40
Speaker
It's just not where you want to be. It's also just not supported as like, I feel like humanities aren't
00:21:54
Speaker
given the credit they should be given. And so therefore less funding is put into programs and humanities students are left on like a shorter string than other people. And it's just hard to like, like job security, not a thing for humanities people. So yeah, it's tough. Like doing what you love should be enough, but. What was that one thing that this one person said about quitting?
00:22:24
Speaker
on your story. The first one or the Sarah one? I don't know. I think the first one. Let's see. Let's read out. Okay, so context. I posted on my Instagram story today, asking for advice pretty much because I've been feeling these feels.
00:22:44
Speaker
And one person said, first of all, my advice, don't take other people's advice, but here I go. That's how she started. Then she continued, other people don't know your struggle. Education is valuable, but so is your time and well-being. Deal what's best for you now, not what you think will be best for you 10 to 15 years down the line. People often fear quitting something because they worry about what others will think of them. Sometimes learning when to stop or quit takes more courage than starting in the first place.
00:23:11
Speaker
Bottom line, do what makes you happy. The stress outweighs the passion. Maybe it's time to really think about whether this is right for you. Time is an investment. Is it worth the payout? They really hit that on the head of everything. It's like, yeah, you're passionate about it. But if you're being stressed out and having continuous breakdowns every week or every day,
00:23:32
Speaker
for people who have that, is that worth it? Is there something else more viable option for you work wise or life wise that you want to get into? If it is even just like working at like a small cafe and just like doing some archaeology on the side and like researching and whatever.
00:23:51
Speaker
It's like if you're enjoying it, that's all that really matters. So true. And I think when you grow up going through academia, there's this high horse that you're put on to. It's not even climbing up by yourself, but it's like viewing
00:24:12
Speaker
other things as just like less than you know and like it's like oh they don't have a degree so like they're not informed enough to whatever and like their job is less than or whatever and it's been so hard like working against that mindset because like
00:24:33
Speaker
I feel like it's been ingrained into me that I need to be educated and have this high status job because I'm educated and go to the best institutions because I can. I got in, so why wouldn't you finish it or whatever? I don't know. But it's so hard to push back against that because that's been the identity for so long.
00:25:00
Speaker
It's like with knowledge and it's like you have the education, so you have the knowledge. So like if you go to like a Renaissance fairs or see people who do reenactments, like they might not have the same sort of like educational background or maybe just not even gone to college or like majored in communications, something.
Value of Practical Experience over Formal Education
00:25:18
Speaker
But they might know so much more about whatever it is that they're doing than somebody who studies it. Some people go to the people who do the reenactments and the costume design and stuff like that for these events.
00:25:38
Speaker
they work with this stuff like every day. And so they're consistently researching and it's like, that seems so fun. It's just like, you gain your own sort of prestige just based on you. I wish my education was more like something I want to do because I want to learn.
00:26:03
Speaker
And I feel like somewhere along the line, it stopped being studying because I'm interested and it started being studying to get the degrees, to get the jobs, to get the money, to get the whatever. And like wherever that stopped, I don't, I don't even know if it stopped because I started out of fricking Ivy league. So like, that's where it started. Yeah. Like it never, it never, it was never about like,
00:26:32
Speaker
I don't know. I feel like I've never... I can't word. I don't know. I get you. But you get me, right? You understand? I get you. You know what I'm saying? I'm picking up what you're picking up. Are you sniffing what I'm stepping in? Gross. Stupid Alina Zone.
00:26:57
Speaker
Yeah, what a society that we live in. Where it's like even in the dig that we watched, and we talked about this in that episode, that Mr. Brown, I think that's his name. He's like, he didn't have the education. And then all of a sudden these like big, big guys, leadism. This guy knows everything about the soil and the dirt in this area more than somebody who just came up from their nice, comfy armchair.
00:27:26
Speaker
in their office. And so yeah, you don't need the degree, you just need to follow your heart. Listen to your heart. I don't even know if I feel like imposter syndrome because I feel like I don't. I feel like I know I could do this if I wanted to.
00:27:55
Speaker
But it's the want that's like not there. It's like, I think about like at the end goal of this PhD, like you're saying, it's setting out to be professor. If you don't want to be a professor, what's that?
00:28:10
Speaker
Exactly. And like, is it better to have graduated with a degree in anthropology, not looking to be a professor than it is to, like, start now looking for something else? Like, when, when does it stop being useful to like, have this degree?
00:28:36
Speaker
And I feel like it's like now. It's like you have the master's, like most jobs just want a master's and then just years of experience even for an Aiken entry-level job. It's like five years of experience. Like I'm just going to count my education because that's experience. Yeah. And like if they want five years of experience, by the time I've graduated with a PhD, I still don't have that experience.
00:29:02
Speaker
I'm going to have to get it somewhere and that's going to be in some low paying job with something I don't want to do or whatever. And that'll be at 31 years old instead of at 26. Maybe I'll just write a book about it. It's like how I dropped out of Stanford. How I dropped out of Stanford. And opened a cafe on the coast. Where all the food is themed. College dropout. College food dropout. College food dropout.
00:29:31
Speaker
Hey, I have this idea. I have this idea. And then I'm like, bet. I've had this cafe idea for eons where you just take ancient recipes, have this little pop-up stand, use them, and do different themes. So it's like Pompeii food. Wee!
00:29:51
Speaker
Here's some bread. Here's some bread. I'll turn the chemicals to actually make it taste good, but add some salt or make more flavor. Yeah. It's like this was pre-salt trade, but still. Salt bae. Salt bae on it. Yes.
00:30:10
Speaker
It's like, yeah, this was from, um, this recipe that I found online, but I'm still gonna charge, um, like $25 for this loaf of bread from Pompeii. Yeah. That's how you get them. Did you read the, um, name suggestions we had for menu items? No, no. Would you like to hear some of them? Yes. Okay. The first one, the why did I do this latte and the where's my job sandwich?
00:30:40
Speaker
And we have the, is it seasonal depression or just regular depression salad on sale now? Why didn't I just do a music degree like I was supposed to do dressing? Does my advisor hate me or am I just sleep deprived tea? Mom, can you pick me up? I hate it here, ice cream sundae. And when was the last time I drank water?
00:31:07
Speaker
And it comes in a 48-ounce cup. Yes, and a jug. Yeah, it comes in a jug. That says, down me before you leave. If you down me in two minutes, you get your food compensated. And then we were thinking the plates or the menus could just be like our useless college degrees.
00:31:32
Speaker
Oh my gosh. It's like all the employees just bring their own like degrees and stuff. You kind of just print them. Here you go. Yeah. And then you kind of press them. And then any visitor could just like submit a picture of their degree and we could turn it into a plate.
00:31:45
Speaker
Yeah. God, this is such a good idea. No one steal my idea. I feel like for the, is it seasonal depression or is it regular depression salad? So it's like a seasonal salad, but then you throw in something that's not within the season. So then you throw in like a winter squash into a summer or a spring salad. And it makes you go, maybe this is just regular depression.
00:32:13
Speaker
It's a great idea though, you guys need to get on that. Honestly, right? I will occupy you guys' lobby for a while. Please. I don't know. I've had so many people reject me like in the last couple months just like, hey, thinking about doing this PhD, you gotta do your vice. I'm like, no, don't come to me. Don't come to me. Don't come to me. Don't come to me. If you want to do it, don't come to me. Don't come to me.
00:32:40
Speaker
I'm okay. We are not discussing this right now. When you want to quit a job that you love, you think about it for a while, but it's like in the end, you know you're going to be quitting. It's the same thing with academia. Your academia has a job and you're not going to... And like you said, toxic relationship. You don't want to stay in this and be miserable.
00:33:06
Speaker
Christine sent me like five articles titled, should I quit my PhD? How to know when it's time. I haven't read any of them yet, but I just opened one. If you're consistently unhappy, you should quit full stop. To be clear, we're not encouraging anyone to outright quit their PhD. If you genuinely like academia and enjoy your research, that's plenty enough reason to see your degree through to the end. Rather, we're saying it's perfectly fine to quit your PhD if you don't enjoy.
00:33:36
Speaker
or take satisfaction in the work. Basically, if you just googled, should I quit my PhD? This article is for you. It sounds like the article you need to go through. This next sentence, this one's easy. Yes. Do you feel like, do you feel seen?
Mental Challenges and Societal Pressures in Academia
00:33:58
Speaker
Yes. Just because you start something doesn't mean you should finish it. Do you have to finish a bottle of whiskey or a pack of cigarettes just because you opened it? Uh, no. Stop looking bad enough.
00:34:10
Speaker
In the case of your PhD studies, when you've had enough means you're no longer happier taking satisfaction in your work and don't see any prospect of that changing anytime soon. We'll link this article in the description. I'll link all the ones Christine sent me. I just feel so wrong to be like, I quit Stanford, a fully funded PhD program. So it's like,
00:34:37
Speaker
such a rare opportunity to have in general. So it's like, who am I to quit when like someone else who would have done so much better in this environment didn't get in, didn't get accepted, et cetera. I mean, like your friend applied numerous times didn't get in. If somebody really wanted to go in, they would be applying every year too.
00:35:04
Speaker
They'd maybe get in the next time or go somewhere else where they're better fit. Yeah. They can't make my life about other people's lives. Yeah. No. Yeah. It's like, it's easy to think about being like, I took this opportunity for somebody else, but it's like, no, this is your opportunity. This was suited for you. Somebody else is going to find their best opportunity. Maybe getting rejected was the best thing that happened to them.
00:35:32
Speaker
maybe they found a different advisor, a different university that they absolutely love and excel in more than Stanford. And you can't really think about like, oh, what would have happened if this person comes in? Because it's like, that person's off doing whatever they want. Like, who even knows who it was, you know?
00:35:52
Speaker
There's so many options and opportunities in this world that we just need to take by the mantle and just go with. It's like, it might not have even deferred the person or anything. It's just being like, okay, I'm just not going to go here. I don't need to go here.
00:36:07
Speaker
It's like you applied to both Stanford and Harvard and then one rejection, you're like, all right, that's fine. I've gone here. It's like, it didn't, didn't mean anything in like that way. And just to think of the person who got into Harvard is kind of going through the same thing as you.
00:36:23
Speaker
would you want them to be thinking like, oh, I took this opportunity from somebody else, and that other person would have been you, maybe. True. I didn't want it anyway. Yeah. And it's not the best type of mindset, but it's hard to avoid that type of mindset of, oh, but I shouldn't. And it's just kind of going along with what your friend sent you, kind of just how others perceive the quitting.
00:36:53
Speaker
But it's just like, it's not about others. They're not living your life. They're not dealing with your stress. People deal and manage their stress so much differently than another person. Some people have to take medication. Some people don't. Some people are just able to cruise on through and some people can't. It's okay if you need to quit.
00:37:15
Speaker
It's okay if you want to keep going. It's okay if you just want to vent it out for a while and then keep trudging through. Do another little vent such to keep trudging. It's like, that's fine. You have.
00:37:27
Speaker
so many people behind you and supporting you and like knowing that you're just going to excel in whatever you do because you're just such a bright, wonderful young woman and you just kind of just you're the light everywhere you go. It's you have a passion in you that can be seen and whether or not it's within academia, it doesn't necessarily
00:37:57
Speaker
mean anything. It's like, it's cool. It's like, it's cool to say like, oh, and it's Stanford for a PhD, but it's like, okay. Yeah. It's super awesome. Like that's so cool that you did that. But if you're just being like, oh, I'm doing this Cambodia research and I'm working at this cafe, that's super cool. That sounds awesome. I'd love to learn more about this. It's, there's nothing much more of a difference other than like we were talking about like that prestige of Ivy league.
00:38:24
Speaker
But with that prestige comes more pressure. And I think with that pressure, that goes back into that cycle of why should I quit? Who am I to quit? Wow, baby. Such a good rant. Thank you. Such a good rant.
00:38:44
Speaker
Oh, my heart feels lifted. That was beautiful. Thank you. Yeah, so then applies to everyone within this type of mindset right now. It's like, find yourself and like your identity is so important. And if it's tied to another thing, rather than your like,
00:39:09
Speaker
your being, why? Maybe look into that. Like what brings that in together? Wow. That's the end of my TED Talk. That's all my brain has for you today.
Prioritizing Self-Care and Personal Well-being
00:39:23
Speaker
Thanks for listening to our rant about quitting in academia. I hope it was somewhat informational. You never know. Just feel the feels, guys. Just let it happen. Feel the feels. Listen to yourself.
00:39:41
Speaker
Everyone else's opinion is secondary to your own. Yeah. Honestly though, it really is. It's like, but how are you really feeling about it? Except maybe like your therapist. I feel like your therapist. What do you want? I don't know. The serotonin in your brain is like the guy, let me in, let me in.
00:40:03
Speaker
Let me in. Your PhD is blocking me. I mean, I gained a lot of serotonin from listening to a song called, like, The Calling. Yes. Ribbit, Ribbit, I'm a frog.
00:40:25
Speaker
I've been laughing about that all week since Alyssa showed it to me. And then same with the Lil Nas X TikTok trend that's been happening with the Call Me By Air. First, when it came out, I thought it was talking about the movie Call Me By Your Name with Timothee Chalamet and the Armie Hammer. No, just gay.
00:40:50
Speaker
Same thing though. True. I love all of it. Oh my god. Yes. Any last thoughts, comments, questions, concerns? Someone today told me that they had a dream about me.
00:41:07
Speaker
And it was about me and my girlfriend who was a Afro Latina long black slick hair and a ponytail just slightly more butch than I am. And that's how they described. And she said that we looked very happy. So if you are a five foot four Afro Latina long slick back hair,
00:41:35
Speaker
Well, Alyssa and I, we have this plan of having a child together. We're adopting a kid. And then Alyssa's partner is going to be the chef and living in the back house, like the mother-in-law type of house. And we will have a child.
00:41:51
Speaker
and live happily ever after. Michaela will be dating the pool boy and everything will be fine. I'll be dating the pool boy and married to the handyman. Yes. Yes. We'll just all be dating other people who we do not have children with.
00:42:12
Speaker
But being in loving, happy relationships with our partners. With everyone, yes. With everyone, yeah. Yes, it'll be a big happy family. Like the game, the card game, happy family. Don't play that game. It's a really creepy game, but it's really fun and it's very laughable. And that's all I have for you. Thanks for tuning in.
00:42:39
Speaker
Do you want to talk more if you are currently going through these types of thoughts about quitting academia or anything you're just wanting to reach out? Give us advice, your story, et cetera. Go ahead and send us an email at idaigitpodcastatgmail.com. Hit us up on social media at idaigitpodcast. Join our Discord. All the shebang. We would love to hear her meal, please. Yeah.
00:43:05
Speaker
This is begging. Okay. See you next time. See you next time. Bye.
00:43:19
Speaker
This show is produced by the Archaeology Podcast Network, Chris Webster and Tristan Boyle, in Reno, Nevada at the Reno Collective. This has been a presentation of the Archaeology Podcast Network. Visit us on the web for show notes and other podcasts at www.archpodnet.com. Contact us at chrisatarchaeologypodcastnetwork.com.