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From Survival Mode to Self-Trust Reclaiming Your Feminine Energy
8 Plays5 months ago
In this episode of The Pathless Path, we unpack what it means to live in survival mode vs. creative flow.
From societal conditioning to body image, masculine vs. feminine energy, and self-worth—we go deep into the layers that disconnect us from our own inner voice.
Naya shares how survival mode nearly took her creativity and health, and Kiki opens up about growing up with strong women, healing body shame, and learning to love herself fully. We talk about self-responsibility, emotional patterns, setting boundaries, and coming home to love—again and again.
🎧 21 minutes of raw honesty, ancestral truths, body wisdom, and practical spiritual talk.
Follow the show: @walkthepathlesspath
Connect with us: @kikstr & @natural.nadja
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Transcript
Challenging Traditional Gender Roles
00:00:00
Speaker
And how are we not like, how are we not questioning it? Like that blows my mind. I mean, let's think about it this way, especially if you're coming from a ah situation where,
00:00:15
Speaker
like ah a man, ah like a physical man has been given all of this power and like authority. And that's just how you've been raised, right?
00:00:26
Speaker
Whatever dad says goes, mom also is over here abiding by whatever that person says. That's always just been the role that has been assigned to us, to children.
00:00:39
Speaker
and it's, I'm going to factor this in to kind of like looking at it as like weight loss. Like it we didn't get here overnight. It just kept building and building and people just imposing their their thoughts and their views and making other people feel small.
00:00:57
Speaker
That's kind of like... That's how I see how we got here.
Evolution of Gender Dynamics
00:01:01
Speaker
Somebody else might have a different opinion about it, but people have assigned roles to certain genders and that's just how everything has just been constructed and just kept like going.
00:01:15
Speaker
That's what I would say. Something difficult for a lot of people to unlearn at this point. We've been disconnected. That's what I've been saying for fucking ever. Like overall, the man takes care of all of that stuff while the woman stays home.
00:01:29
Speaker
And I don't mean like she needs to stay home and cook and clean, but like it's part of it part of it. Like I don't mean like this is a label we have to be. You can still be an entrepreneur. You can still have your business, but like there are still things that we need to do.
00:01:40
Speaker
And what happens is that like that has been like that. Our great, great, great parents were like that.
Balancing Energies: Masculine and Feminine
00:01:49
Speaker
But what happened? How did we get...
00:01:51
Speaker
disconnected from that. And obviously society happened and movements have happened and things have changed and people want to go to work. Obviously ah normal evolution happens. It's normal. When you were saying part of like the man is given this power, right?
00:02:07
Speaker
Yes, but the man needs the woman. They work together. That's how you get the community. That's how you get the foundation. That's how you get the the structure. You need him and she needs you.
00:02:20
Speaker
Feminine energy, a woman energy is in the creative, is is dancing, is flowing, is receiving energy. The man is giving, the woman is receiving the energy.
00:02:34
Speaker
And so that's how we balance each other out. Men are not creating that energy. So they need us. We create that energy for them. So that's where the imbalance comes from. And so a lot of women in the United States are, unfortunately, and that's what something I've worked a lot in my healing is to no longer be in my masculine energy. And in not saying that um I'm not always in my masculine energy, but I've I can see it. I catch myself now right away when it happens.
00:03:08
Speaker
It's like, oh, wait, I'm going into my masculine energy, draw back, go back into the feminine energy. Now I can see it. Before I was in it, not to win it, I was in it and I was in and I was drowning in it.
00:03:20
Speaker
And it was so bad that I made myself sick. And since I've been in Mexico, I've been working on not being in that energy anymore because I realized how much it was destroying me.
00:03:34
Speaker
And it was, i was such in a survival mode that unfortunately it did not let me become the creator that I wanted to be.
Influence of Childhood on Adult Roles
00:03:43
Speaker
Because in order to be an entrepreneur, I'm a woman, in order to be an entrepreneur into what I wanted to do,
00:03:49
Speaker
I needed to be a creator, a creator of my story, a creator of my life. I have to create content. I have to create a website. had to create all those things, but you have to be in a creative mindset and you can't do that when you're in survival mindset.
00:04:01
Speaker
That's deep. That's real deep. And I mean, it, it also depends kind of like on your, on your circumstances too. Like I was raised by a single mom.
00:04:13
Speaker
our We did have like, my aunt, my uncle, and my grandmother on my mother's side. So like, that's the side I'm really close with. ah They helped to balance it all out with my mom, like my you know, I would go and spend summers with my grandmother and my aunt while my mom was ah in, in like the the capital, really.
00:04:39
Speaker
it sounds so Hunger Games when I say that. But, like, she was on the northern side of of Trinidad, and I would stay with my grandma, you know, because obviously school was out and everything.
00:04:51
Speaker
And... I saw that in my mom. My mom had to be both my dad and my mom. And then I also was like, okay, well, my mom is killing it doing this and she's killing it doing that.
00:05:06
Speaker
So I've also adopted that as well. Same thing that you're saying, you know, I can, if something goes, if something's wrong with my AC, I can quickly go and figure that out. And boom, AC is running. We're good to go.
00:05:21
Speaker
There's cold air going. I pick up tips and tricks all the time from all the tradesmen that come in and help me. They're like, oh, well, you need to do this, this and this and this. And I'm like, sweet.
00:05:32
Speaker
Nope, that. Don't have to call you for anything in the future. and it And I think it's also one of those things where you're trying to be as self-sufficient as possible. And especially in these days, a lot of people don't know where their next penny might be coming from.
00:05:50
Speaker
or their living paycheck to paycheck. And they're like, well, if I could figure this out by myself, that's an additional $100, $200 that I don't have to pay somebody else to take care of.
00:06:02
Speaker
So I think it, it is how we were, we were raised the, the, the foundations that were all laid for us.
00:06:13
Speaker
The, um, what's the word that I'm looking for here? It's, it's,
00:06:21
Speaker
like these different energies that we've taken on and it's just kind of like built us. And that's why certain people are the way they are today, as opposed to like how your experience when you were growing up is different.
00:06:36
Speaker
My experience was different as well growing up and so on and so forth. And there's all, there's such disconnect because your way wasn't like my way.
00:06:49
Speaker
And all of a sudden we can't see eye to eye.
Entrepreneurial Journeys and Mindsets
00:06:52
Speaker
We can't sit down and have a conversation anymore. For me, I was raised the same way. i mean, was raised in a... I had no man growing up.
00:07:02
Speaker
Never. I didn't have a man growing up. I didn't know any of my grandfathers. My father wasn't around. I lived in a house full of women that were lesbians. um So I grew up with women and...
00:07:13
Speaker
you know, my aunt was the provider. She was the man, right? She was a masculine man, the lesbian one. Right. And i was like, okay. And she had her own business. So I i know what it's like to be ah business entrepreneur because I watched her struggle, but then I also watched her win a lot.
00:07:29
Speaker
So there was this this win and then the struggle and then this win and then this rollercoaster of up and down. And so I think that also that scarcity mindset of like saying like, well, if I'm winning today and I'm losing tomorrow, then what's the point of being an entrepreneur? What's the point of being a business owner?
00:07:43
Speaker
I don't want to go through what she went through. Right. So like there is this, this scarcity in the mindset, right. Where it's like, Oh, I don't want to deal with this shit. I'm just going to go back to work and work at nine to five and be.
00:07:56
Speaker
So there is that too. So I get what you're saying, like having the woman around and knowing how to do all those things. It makes sense because there's curiosity too. It's like, Oh, like that's how I got into it that, you know, I noticed like every time the company I was working for the traveling agency,
00:08:13
Speaker
And every time we called the IT guy over, I was watching over his shoulder what he was doing. I was like, oh, so what is that, dude? And I realized, I was like, shit, I'm actually interested in computers and IT. I was like, let's study this.
00:08:23
Speaker
And so I went to school for IT. Next thing you know, I'm in there for nearly 10 years. So... My curiosity got me there, right? And now I'm out of it. But now thanks to what I learned in IT and digital marketing, I'm able to apply that into my business, and into my my business that I was scared because I watched my aunt go through it.
00:08:43
Speaker
Going back to a little bit of what you're saying about your your mom and watching her in the Capitol, ah which sounds very much... Like the hunger game. but um Yeah, it's it it comes it comes from our upbringing.
00:08:55
Speaker
it comes from the place of the imprints from other people. Like I think maybe that's the word. i don't know if that was the word you were looking for, it but like... That's it. That's the word, right? Well, like you're taking on, think all born pure, right? Like essentially. And then as we are a few weeks old, few months old, we start getting...
00:09:17
Speaker
in prints, we start getting energy colors from different people. And I think that like what happens is that over time it taints us to be into not us because we are wearing different hats. We're wearing different veils. Your mom said this, your dad said that, your grandpa said this, your aunt, your sister. So you're basing your opinion or you're basing your thoughts or your ah logic to what these people are telling you because they are the parents because you're too young to understand. So just listen to what they say because they know best.
00:09:46
Speaker
So you're you're doing that. And so when you become an adult, you already have like those patterns where you're like, oh, well, you know, doing a business is hard or no, no. I'm just, you know, like doing those.
00:09:57
Speaker
And so you never go for that. You never go for what that inner child wanted. And then we bury that noise, which is our intuition, the intuition, the the intuition and the inner child. We bury those noises down and then we don't go for what we want.
00:10:11
Speaker
And then we live our whole entire lives by what other people view you as because of their beliefs and their patterns and their things have now embedded in you.
Living Authentically and Rebelling Against Norms
00:10:23
Speaker
And then you don't live for yourself and you're living on this job that you fucking hate. You're living on this paycheck. That's not enough. You're not happy. You're living on survival. You're living on junk food. You're in a relationship that yeah it's working.
00:10:39
Speaker
Maybe, maybe not. And so there's all those things that are coming and you're like, is this, is this life? Did I literally, was I, I'm a miracle child. I was born from ah mother and a father, regardless of the circumstances. I don't care. You were born out of a million sperms.
00:10:56
Speaker
You made it. Right. Let's, let's honor that for a fucking second. Right. And be like, wow, like I, I was born. Okay. Granted the circumstances of your parents and all that. And I can talk with my parents.
00:11:08
Speaker
That's whole other story. We're not going to go there today. Did I really come to earth to pay bills every day? Being a miserable thing. Is this what life human experience is supposed to be like? Realistically, is this what it is? Cause I didn't sign up with this shit.
00:11:20
Speaker
Apparently I both didn't sign up for this. I know. Both say that. Like, I mean, obviously we did because our soil contracts did and like we signed up for this and we're like, okay, but now...
00:11:32
Speaker
that I'm working more on myself and I'm working more on the stuff. I can realize what my true mission is. I can get closer what my mission is and I can see my vision better and be like, I know what I'm here for.
00:11:44
Speaker
I'm not here to just fucking pay bills because that's not what I'm signing up for. We all have to go through the trials and tribulations to come out. Oh yeah. 100%. What is it? The gift that you are so fucking good at, like you've mastered this shit.
00:11:58
Speaker
So much that that could become your business, that that could become you. And this is something that you can talk about for years and still be okay with
Commitment to Love, Empathy, and Community
00:12:09
Speaker
it. What is the thing that you can be like, wow?
00:12:11
Speaker
I think I've just... um It's always just come up all the time. And I think it stems from me just being a people person. So my thing is always about love and caring for one another, like showing empathy.
00:12:25
Speaker
Like that's something I could, I could talk till I'm blue in the face, um being able just to be of service for people. I enjoy doing that. um Like just case in point,
00:12:40
Speaker
my, my nine to five, right. We're going to have to go into, we're going to start being hybrid pretty soon. And I'm not really looking forward to it. I do like working in my own space, working at my own pace, getting, and I don't have like all these other noises around me. So I'm able to like concentrate.
00:13:00
Speaker
but And so I'm in this new department now. And every time I get somebody that I mentored in in like our mentoring program and everything, every time I get a call transferred and it's one of my old mentees, they're like, oh my God, Kiki, I haven't heard from you in so and like forever. and I'm so excited for the office to be opening up.
00:13:25
Speaker
And I'm over here like, I really don't want to go into office. But every time they call or they get they get transferred over to me, they're like, oh my God, I'm so excited.
00:13:35
Speaker
like, all right, i guess I guess I'll get a little excited. Because it's not like I don't love them. It's not that I don't want to help anybody. But i just you know now I've become a creature of my own nature kind of situation. I've liked the bubble I've been living in.
00:13:52
Speaker
And I do like to be of service. I like to bring people together. i like to make sure that people are validated and they are heard and they know that they are loved.
00:14:04
Speaker
So I think me having community, ah showing empathy and showing that regardless of what side of the world you might've come from,
00:14:15
Speaker
ah what your childhood might have been, what drop trials and tribulations you might have gone through. we are all here to, we are loved. We will be loved.
00:14:28
Speaker
And every time I go back, if I do a story on Instagram, if I make a post on Instagram, if when we're talking here, my whole Everything that I want to do, everything that I want to bring to the table is always about love.
00:14:45
Speaker
So that's that's to me. I could talk that, like i said, could talk about it till I'm blue in the face. That's what makes me happy. Bringing people together, making sure that they know that they are loved, making sure that they know that they are cared for and that they have a sense of community and they have a shoulder to lean on because we are all in this shit show together. That's what I'm here for.
00:15:08
Speaker
That's what I'm here about.
Self-Love and Boundary Setting
00:15:09
Speaker
Question to you is, do you love yourself enough? Because who is giving that love back to you? Besides you? Are you giving yourself back love? Because that is so important.
00:15:20
Speaker
Because that's a trauma response. When you give love to other people, ah you loving yourself? Exactly. No, yeah, yeah. And I have been on that self-discovery journey for quite some time.
00:15:33
Speaker
ah I have high days. I have low days like everybody else. But I always try to remember... Yes, there are people who are around me that love me and that care for me and that take care of me.
00:15:48
Speaker
um But I also have to remember to take care of myself because there are certain things that people just can't do for you. And we've said this countless times, whether it's been on this podcast or um or just us like having conversations.
00:16:04
Speaker
If you don't take care of yourself, you cannot give from an empty cup. We say this all the time. You cannot give from an empty cup. If you are feeling overwhelmed, burned out, ah depressed, you cannot...
00:16:18
Speaker
We always keep pushing ourselves because we're like, oh, we had signed up for this and we had signed up for that. And like I have a friend and she's like, oh, I have to do this today and that today. And then I'm i'm working the next day and I'm like, OK, so did you take any time for yourself?
00:16:36
Speaker
Well, but I'm so burnt out. I'm so tired. gey I don't know what to do. How about you say no? How about you say no? How about you stop people pleasing and saying, oh, me, me, me, me me me me I'm going to help with this.
00:16:52
Speaker
I'm going to help with that. But then you're not taking time for yourself. So now you're complete. Your energy is complete, is depleted, and you are completely drained, and you're you're burnt out. You're overwhelmed. You're sleeping. You're not performing at 100% anymore, really and truly everything that you're giving yourself to, you're not even giving 100% of yourself because you've said yes to everything.
00:17:19
Speaker
And you can't be people pleasing all the time. People pleasing is exhausting. The amount of times I tell people no, now that I've really gotten to know myself.
00:17:31
Speaker
And let me take that back. I don't think anybody truly, truly knows themselves because we're always evolving. Something else is always happening. So I'm at that point where I'm very comfortable with myself.
00:17:44
Speaker
Like yesterday I went, i like I've always had body dysmorphia for my entire existence. And
00:17:56
Speaker
And yesterday I was at the pool and I was like, I don't care. This is me. This is me on my journey. This is me in my swimwear.
00:18:07
Speaker
The kids were there, we were chilling, we were having a great time. Nobody cared about what another person looked like. There had women at that pool that had all different body shapes, all different sizes.
00:18:20
Speaker
Everybody was beautiful in their colorful attire, having a great time, having drinks, eating, sharing stories with each other, growing their bond together. And I was like, this is beautiful.
00:18:34
Speaker
And I know I probably don't have any pictures. I definitely don't have any pictures to share. But that's also because it it wasn't one of those situations where I was like, oh no, I want to hide my body. I couldn't care less yesterday. I could not care less yesterday.
00:18:47
Speaker
um That was mostly about just being in the moment and also being around water. Didn't want my phone around there. So, yeah, that was really about it. But, yes, I do give to myself in order so that I can give back to others.
Emotions and Energy: Final Reflections
00:19:03
Speaker
to answer your question. That was long winded, but that's the answer to question. I like that you said that. And so that's funny that it happened to you yesterday. then it happened to me yesterday. There is some energy working.
00:19:14
Speaker
ah Always, always. Oh, of course. So yeah, that's, that's, that's just kind of like, love how the conversation started from like, almost like an angry or not really angry, but like, it started from like, how the world is fucked up to like, how we went to like, pure love.
00:19:30
Speaker
That message was like, so did you notice that? Oh, yeah, it always it always transmutes into it. Anytime we're talking about something, it always flows into the fact that, listen, we need to come from a place of love.
00:19:41
Speaker
Like, yeah, we're having a like heated conversation. um we are not having an argument. We are having a heated conversation because we're very passionate about how we feel about things.
00:19:52
Speaker
ah And then it always trickles back into, but this is how you find your way to loving yourself and to being positive and to planting the seed and to, you know, building that community and allowing people to be themselves.
00:20:08
Speaker
That's what it's about. That's what this whole thing is about. And did you notice that like how like emotions, if you look, if you, if you think about the word emotions for a second, right?
00:20:20
Speaker
So you have emotion, E motions, right?
00:20:26
Speaker
But E stands for the energy that's in motion.
00:20:32
Speaker
So when you think about that, like that, because you were talking about feelings, your feelings or your emotions, right? Again, that's the programming.
00:20:42
Speaker
So how is the energy, right? Like how is the energy feeling out of that emotion that you're feeling, out of that energy motion, that it's an energy that's in motion?
00:20:54
Speaker
How are you feeling? How is that aura feeling at that point? Isn't that crazy when you peel that thing back and you're like, okay, this is wild.
00:21:09
Speaker
And we can dive into that even deeper, but. Do we want to?
00:21:17
Speaker
we're gonna wrap it up and just say thank you for joining us on this one it's been real it's been fun as always stay weird and stay wild and we'll see you on the next one bye guys