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Brought to you this week by the letters Q, N and Z, Josh and M broadcast their stereo take on a story which features a QAnon reading of Aotearoa New Zealand's Prime Minister, Jacinda Ardern, Baphomet, J. M. Barrie, and the death of Anthony Bourdain.

Josh is @monkeyfluids and M is @conspiracism on Twitter

You can also contact us at: podcastconspiracy@gmail.com

Watch M’s series “Conspiracism” here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJEp7xTcFU3hc2W0kfdSvAQ

and learn more about their academic work at:

http://mrxdentith.com

Why not support The Podcaster's Guide to the Conspiracy by donating to our Patreon:

https://www.patreon.com/podcastersguidetotheconspiracy

or Podbean crowdfunding?

http://www.podbean.com/patron/crowdfund/profile/id/muv5b-79

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Transcript

Comedic Aspect of Generic Beer

00:00:00
Speaker
Right, get this lockdown you in and we can start recording. I don't drink generic beer, especially not beer that comes in a almost completely white can. Yeah, well, it's the cheapest brand I could find. Ego, the brand I could buy the most of. Ego, the greatest volume of hooch we have for you getting as heroically tanked as possible in the shortest amount of time. Oh, it burns.
00:00:26
Speaker
It burns all the way down. I don't know why I've got to do

Unexpected Popularity from Drunken Episode

00:00:32
Speaker
this. I'm sorry, look, the numbers. Numbers don't lie. The last episode was incredibly popular entirely down to the fact of your accidental inebriation. We even got a new patronage based on it. Hi, Rachel.
00:00:42
Speaker
In fact, the people are paying you to get drunk every episode from now until the end of time. That just doesn't sound healthy. For goodness sake. Yeah, health be damned. There's no long term here thinking we're on the Internet where every episode is a battle for survival. Now put your inefficient, highfalutin whiskey behind you. It's in the past, just down that best, worst, most efficient, high, drinky, drunky alcohol brain poison down you as fast as you can.
00:01:13
Speaker
lose the whiskey? No, I can't and I won't do it. Fine. I'll just have to settle with the blotter acid I soaked into your lapel mic before. The what? Did you slip me a fast one? That's me, man. You and the phosphorescent monkey-faced slug that's crawling out of your... Oh. I see.

Theatrical vs Genuine Drunkenness

00:01:39
Speaker
Yep, that'll do nicely. Roll the theme.
00:01:50
Speaker
The podcaster's guide to the conspiracy, brought to you today by Josh Addison and Dr. Indented.
00:02:00
Speaker
Hello and welcome to the podcaster's guide to the conspiracy. Now, all drunk, all the time. Not actually true. That was just one can of beer. That's not enough for you to get a proper buzz on, is it? Ah, feel fine. We have a great podcast. It's going to be fantastic. I love you, man. Yeah. Can I have a nap now? No.
00:02:22
Speaker
No, I gotta be honest, theatrically drunk EM, I don't think is as convincing as genuinely drunk EM. It's true, and I was very, very drunk. He was actually genuinely very drunk last episode.

Challenges of Recording While Drunk

00:02:33
Speaker
Yeah, it was astounding. I only went to the few drinks with Nick and Jamie, and a few drinks became more than a few drinks, and I thought I was a lot sober than I actually was, and then it turned out I really, really wasn't, and you could even tell with my voice I was drunk.
00:02:51
Speaker
There were a couple of excellent slurs there. At one point there was the, are you ready? Are you ready? And for those of you, by the way, if you normally only listen to the audio version of this podcast and don't go to the video, which is most of you and quite understandably, quite frankly, you can listen to audio pretty much anywhere, but video takes all of one's attention.
00:03:14
Speaker
I do have to recommend listening or rather watching the video for the previous episode because while we didn't end up getting audio for everything, I was recording video the entire time. So if you look, the video version is about 10-15 minutes longer than the audio version. It basically took us 15 minutes to get through the very first paragraph of the news segment.
00:03:40
Speaker
So there is the drunkest montage you'll see anytime soon. There's a lot of clapping. There's a lot of clapping. Which we don't normally leave in. We usually will put a clap in between sort of each scene just so there's a mark on the thing for the syncing up of audio and all of that business. But we kept them in this time because it was a nice little... I didn't actually gone through and counted the number of claps in that montage, but it's a fair few.
00:04:04
Speaker
Well, I mean, I answered the audio, and yes, there was a lot of clapping. I'm glad there was a lot of clapping that made it very easy to cut things together. Now, this is not a justification thing, but a kind of educational thing for those of you at home. When you have speech disfluency like I do, and you get drunk like I frequently do, one of the issues you have when you are drunk without speech disfluency is controlling your speech.
00:04:31
Speaker
And so when you're drunk with speech disfluency, it's actually quite difficult and requires a lot of mental effort to speak in a coherent way. So heroically, I did remarkably well outside of the scripted sections of last week. That's a whole different bit of mental activity. It's actually reading the script and saying words in a way which aren't meant to be said. That was an experience.
00:04:58
Speaker
It was, but no, I thought you brought new meaning to the phrase, high functioning, quite frankly. And also assembly, which is a word I found very hard to say. Yes. Well, actually, no. You need to say the word embassy. Yes, you found the word assembly quite easy to say, but we're supposed to be saying embassy. Anyway, much as it would be fun to apply you with alcohol every episode, I think long term, not great for your health.
00:05:24
Speaker
And I don't know, maybe we need a spin off. Maybe we need to do the drunken podcasters guide to the drunk conspiracy for drunkards. I mean, normally every Friday I go off on the piss, as we say, in Altana. So what we need to do is just organise to record podcasts at two o'clock in the morning on a Saturday. That's Saturday night, or actually Saturday early morning.
00:05:52
Speaker
when I stumble home drunk and see what happens. I mean, you have no call on your home to be around during the middle of the night. You could be here at three o'clock in the morning to record a podcast. I could. I just don't think I want to. You're saying you're not committed to this idea. Well, I don't know. We could have the drunken version of the podcast and then for the bonus content we could record the hungover version of the podcast.
00:06:19
Speaker
That's going to be a really long episode. Really, really long episode. Or just me being chirpy and you strangling me every time I make a loud noise. It's true. It's very tempting. It's very tempting. Anyway, enough drunken hijacks for now. We should probably record an actual episode for this week. Which we're doing right now. Which we are doing. We should record actual content for the actual episode that we're doing right now. Let's move on to the news.
00:06:47
Speaker
Breaking, breaking, conspiracy theories in the news.
00:06:53
Speaker
So, leading the news, not so much a conspiracy theory as one of our rare cryptozoological news items.

Cryptid Sighting in New Zealand

00:06:59
Speaker
A black panther-like cat has been sighted at the top of the South Island of our own fair Aotearoa, New Zealand. ABC, or Alien Big Cat, sightings have been a recurrent feature in parts of the South Island going back over a century. Authorities suspect what the eyewitness saw was a feral cat, but she insists it was a much larger creature.
00:07:18
Speaker
Now, aside from issues to do with what the cat would eat, Aotearoa is not exactly replete with the kind of prey a big cat needs to survive, and the fact the South Island is very cold, the biggest issue is the one most ABC sightings face. It turns out that not only are humans very bad at judging the size of things at a distance, we also have an unfortunate tendency to confuse dogs with cats, and so on.
00:07:39
Speaker
ABC sightings in Australia have often turned out to be feral dog sightings, for example, but given these sightings in the South Island go back over a century, maybe there is something lurking in the bush just waiting for its prey. Lurking indeed. Praying. No. Yeah, this sort of thing, it just comes up from time to time, doesn't it? Someone says, oh, I've seen it. I've seen a big cat. It's kind of like mower sightings, really.
00:08:06
Speaker
Yes, although, I mean, so there's slightly more plausibility to big cat sightings in the South Island, because for a period of time, Westerners in Australia, the UK and Aotearoa, New Zealand, kind of in the latter part of the last century, kept big cats. It was a kind of thing. There are still a couple of big cat parks around, but lions.
00:08:29
Speaker
It's always been plausible that these animals could have escaped. The problem is long-term, their survival in that kind of environment looks pretty bleak due to A, the lack of food and B, the weather's not quite right for animals of that particular type. But they've been sighted for over a century and it does make for a fairly interesting cryptozoological story. It does. And as usual, it's always the Bigfoot thing. It's always a really blurry
00:08:59
Speaker
photo of a of a cat shaped blob where it's very difficult to exactly tell you know get a sense of distance and scale and so on which as we just said people are tricky hard at getting right anyway yeah now talking about animals and big animals that

Beluga Whale and Russian Espionage

00:09:17
Speaker
Big news this week, and we mean that quite literally, is the suspected Russian military whale found off the coast of Norway. That was a very satisfying sentence to read. Suspected Russian military whale. Now last week, a beluga whale approached a fishing boat and also a fishing boat near the village of Inge and was discovered to be wearing a harness inscribed with
00:09:45
Speaker
equipment of St. Petersburg. The crew of the vessel found the whale's behaviour curious, it actively sought out the vessel and tried to pull straps and ropes from the sides of the boat. This has raised suspicions among marine experts that the whale had been given military grade training by Russians.
00:10:04
Speaker
Now the use of statisticians by the military is not out of the question. In the 80s the Russian military recruited dolphins as their vision and memory made them effective at detecting weapons. Whilst it was thought such programs were no longer in operation in Russia, a 2017 report revealed that the Russian navy had once again been training dolphins along with beluga whales and seals for military purposes along Russia's vast
00:10:34
Speaker
Arctic coastline. Add to this the fact that the US Navy has also trained dolphins and sea lions since the Vietnam War. So whilst Russia is currently denying that said whale is one of their military assets, that may well be a cover-up to cover up a vast citizens and naval force just waiting to be activated. Yes, I mean of course there are military dolphins, otherwise we would the one and Johnny Mnemonic have come from.
00:11:02
Speaker
or the one in Sequest DSV. Exactly. Not Sequest DMV, which is a very different show about a submarine that has to get a license. I mean, yes, again, not entirely outside the realms of possibility. The weird thing about this story is Russia's denial, actually, because we know
00:11:26
Speaker
that various forces around the world have used statisticians and big sea mammals in the past for this kind of work. So, I suppose the reason why Russia is denying it is its location. It's in Norwegian waters, not Russian waters, so it looks a bit suspicious that maybe they're carrying out military operations overseas, or in this case, undersea.
00:11:52
Speaker
Or maybe they just, you know, maybe it's something they lost and they don't want to look bad for the fact that they can't keep tabs on their weaponized cetaceans. And undercover whale in foreign waters don't put equipment of St Petersburg on the harness. It really gives it away. It does, yeah, yeah.
00:12:11
Speaker
Now, finally, as a sort of a bridge between news and an update, Jacob Wall, who we've spoken about before when we talked about shore fire intelligence, you know, that AstroTurf conservative group that existed purely to smear Robert Mueller with false accusations of sexual impropriety. Well, he's back at it again. This time, he and his associate, Jack Berkman, have tried to level false accusations of sexual assault by Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg.
00:12:36
Speaker
Unfortunately, the people they thought were going to be their willing accomplices thought otherwise. And Woll has been caught on tape plotting Buttigieg's downfall from grace. While Woll and Berkman have form when it comes to producing fake news stories, back in February they held that press conference where they claimed Ilhan Omar had married her own brother to get him US citizenship, while also faked a number of death threats against himself in order to further his claim about being a crusading seeker of truth. All it seems to no avail. He's the boy who cried Woll. Oh hang on, that doesn't work.
00:13:06
Speaker
No, it really doesn't. That was an awful attempt at a joke, Josh, and I am ashamed of you. I'm sorry I wrote it and read it out entirely of my own volition. That's the way I like things to go on this podcast. You're responsible. We are a libertarian podcast, Joshua. You are responsible for the words I put in your mouth. I had complete freedom to read that or not, yes. We are not a libertarian podcast. No.
00:13:31
Speaker
Like, why do people still listen? I guess, no. I was asking that rhetorically because I know the answer why people do still listen to this guy even though he's been proved full of shit every single time. It's because he's saying stuff people want to hear. Yeah, basically. And people want to be able to repeat even no matter how basic it is.
00:13:48
Speaker
Every time we talk about this guy, I mention the other guy and then I always forget his name and you have to supply it. The guy who took down Acorn with his stupid videos of pretending to be... Oh, Jim Acosta? No, he's a senator or something. That guy anyway, him as well. The worst thing was that his one actually worked, even though it was obviously nonsense. It still did the damage and Acorn got shut down.
00:14:11
Speaker
Yeah. Anyway, at least people are seeing through Raul much quicker, even though he doesn't actually appear to be any more transparently full of shit than the other guy. And he keeps on doing the same thing. The same thing, yeah. There's no, he just creates a new shell company. So first time was Shorefire Intelligence. This time was Potomac Associates or something of that particular stripe. Potomac. And basically he got a new accomplice. They did the same thing.
00:14:41
Speaker
thing again. This time around, when they were approached, the people they approached went, this seems a bit shady. I'm going to record them with my phone.
00:14:53
Speaker
Evolve your strategy. And also don't do this. Well, yeah, don't do it in the workplace. But if you are going to do this, evolve your strategy, read some Machiavelli. You're meant to be political mastermind on the right. Read some Machiavelli. I keep hearing the phrase, it's Fredo's all the way down, Fredo in reference to the godfather.
00:15:12
Speaker
As opposed to the little chocolate frog things, yeah. I'd much prefer if it was Fred, I saw the way down. It would be fantastic. But yes, it turns out that in the alt-right at the moment, it seems everyone's the freighter. Have you seen The Godfather?
00:15:28
Speaker
a long time ago. I don't know if I've seen the whole thing, but I've seen all the bits that people refer to, so yes. Anyway, so that was, as we say, it was sort of new and sort of an update. It was a new incident, but a repeat of one we've seen before. But it's a nice bridge for what's coming up next. Which is the actual updates. And the retractions, although there are no retractions this week, it's just updates. Yes. Updates. And retractions.
00:15:58
Speaker
A flurry of updates this week, a lot of them mercifully brief. Indeed, the first of them being that. You'll recall that we covered Nicky Hager in John Stevenson's book Hit and Run and the subsequent inquiry as to where the New Zealand soldiers were involved in a massacre in Afghanistan. So the heads of the inquiry into that massacre, titled Operation Burnham, is that supposed to have some significance? Or were they just due to get a B name in their latest? They're naming cyclones.
00:16:27
Speaker
It's said that it's unlikely they'll question the Afghani villages where the attack was said to have occurred. So the inquiry looks a little like a cover-up, given it's not going to interview witnesses who aren't members of the New Zealand armed forces. Essentially, this is because travel to Afghanistan is considered unsafe, but we seem to have some experienced military personnel who worked there in our armed services, and we were working with other armed services over there. Surely we could get a bit of protection if we needed it.
00:16:53
Speaker
Now another local update, this time on the seeming rise of white supremacism on the campus of the University of Auckland, which happens to be both of our alma matas. There was a hui, a mite, on this on the 1st of May, and whilst strong words were said to condemn white supremacism on campus, these words were largely those of the affected students.
00:17:14
Speaker
The administration not only refused to get involved, but one of the white supremacists actually spoke at the hui, claiming he was the real victim.

Controversial Conviction Post-Christchurch Attack

00:17:24
Speaker
So the wave of progressivism we thought would come out of the country's generally good response to the attack back in March has stalled already. Isn't the status quo grand? That was you actually being sarcastic. It was me being sarcastic. Good. I was going to otherwise... That would be really reading to say.
00:17:44
Speaker
Yeah. But let's continue in that vein with more white supremacists. The first conviction related to the terror attack of March 15th has been recorded. One Philip Arp, who ran a Nazi themed insulation business. That's an odd thing to say, but it's true.
00:18:01
Speaker
1488-meter. Literally. And the symbol on the side of his van was something that had been associated with Nazism or something in the past as well. So he wasn't actually hiding it particularly well. But anyway, this man has been convicted of sharing the live stream of the Ortutahi mosque shootings. Mr. Aapu has prior convictions related to his love of white supremacy, such as dumping a pig's head outside a mosque. Classy. Yep.
00:18:27
Speaker
Reportedly, he told police when he was questioned about sharing the Limestream video that, quote, I could not give a fuck, mate. Indeed, he even asked a friend if they could add crosshairs to the video and add in a kill counter so it would be more, quote, unquote, fun to share with people on the Internet. Super classy. He's yet to be sentenced, but could face up to 14 years hard porridge. Yeah, late labour cheese and good old choking, choking slash pokey. No, that's.
00:18:56
Speaker
I don't know my present terminology, but 14 years is the important point. Yeah, I don't really have any sympathy for him whatsoever. No, it is quite difficult to muster any up. So yeah, let's just move on. Yeah, so another update on the aftermath of those terror attacks back in March.
00:19:15
Speaker
The media have banded together and agreed upon protocols for reporting the trial of the accused terrorist. Namely, they will limit coverage of anything that actively champions white supremacist or terrorist ideology,
00:19:31
Speaker
They will not broadcast or report on any message, imagery, symbols or signals made by the accused or his associates, which is taken to promote or support white supremacist ideology, and the journalists reporting the trial will be senior reporters.
00:19:49
Speaker
One thing the media has also decided upon is the use of the terrorist's name. They will use it in their reports because they want to treat him like any other accused criminal in our system. Now we here at the Podcaster's Guide to the Conspiracy will not be using his name, which is something which will surely bite us in the bottom eventually.
00:20:10
Speaker
Well, I don't know. We're not a news organization, so I suppose we're not required to. But I said there were sort of immediately a few think pieces not liking this, immediately enough that they probably hadn't actually read the full content of the protocols. That one on Politico being a particularly good example of being
00:20:31
Speaker
outraged at self-censorship and not actually discussing the limits of the self-censorship the protocol describes, which is the trial will be reported upon, just that people are going to go out of their way to make sure that any white supremacist dog whistles don't get repeated in the news. And that seems just like standard
00:20:53
Speaker
and cautious journalism, and then the political piece kind of self-destructs itself by going, you know, these people could be making their own decisions independently to do this, the fact that banding together is suspicious, okay, so if they did it on their own, it would be fine, but if they do an agreement that's suspicious, yeah, that seems as if you're trying to have it both ways, Politico, anyway.
00:21:18
Speaker
That's all I'm going to say. Yeah, I think that's all anyone needs to say. But we're going to move on to the main content of this week's episode, which is kind of based on another article that I think could be best described also as silly.

Conspiracy Theories in New Zealand

00:21:33
Speaker
Yeah, it's not a not a particularly respectable, I suppose, but I'm getting ahead of myself. We should jump into the main content now.
00:21:49
Speaker
Right, so today we're going to be looking at an article called The Deep State's Last Stand, The Transgender Baphomet Agenda in New Zealand's Wonderland. By one, say, growth or growth. We don't actually quite know how this person's last name is pronounced. This is an article that actually came out halfway through last year, so I think June, July of 2018.
00:22:13
Speaker
It's meant to be a three-part piece, which is why I've been sitting on it for a while, because parts one and two came out very quickly. Part three has yet to eventuate, and actually it's quite good we've waited this long to do it, because at the end of part two in the comments section,
00:22:31
Speaker
As of the end of last month, suddenly people asking, so where's part three, mate? I don't know where part three is. And Sam has responded saying, oh, I had a bit of a falling out with the person who runs this blog, which is called the Marshall Report. And then the person who runs the blog said, no, no, no, you had a falling out with me. I didn't have a falling out with you.
00:22:52
Speaker
And so it seems like there might be a little bit of trouble at the source there, which is why part three never eventuated. So we'll never quite know where this was meant to go, but where it started and where it got to halfway through in part two of three. Kind of fascinating. Kind of interesting, yes. I mean, basically this is QAnon stuff.
00:23:11
Speaker
But localized. But not written by someone who lives here, someone who is interviewing people over the internet from the US about here. Yeah. So it starts by talking about Alice's Adventures in Wonderland. A, so they can make going down the rabbit hole style, portentous mumblings. And B, so they can bring up the fact that
00:23:37
Speaker
What's His Face, Lewis Carroll, does seem to have been a little bit pedophile-y and was disturbingly close to the real Alice upon whom the book is based. And he ends up actually quoting a QAnon one which is, Q equals Alice. You'll soon understand the meaning behind Alice and Wonderland with the ampersand in quote marks, just because it's QAnon.
00:24:00
Speaker
everything has meaning, God bless you. So, yes, they sort of set that up a little bit, but then start talking about our own Prime Minister, one Jacinda Ardern, talks about her socialist, early socialist leanings, again, makes the mistake of
00:24:19
Speaker
And I assume if this guy's not from New Zealand that then maybe it's slightly more understandable if not understanding how proportional representation works by again making it, trying to make it sound dodgy that the Labour government formed a coalition with two other parties to form the current government. But anyway, so it talks about Jacinda, talks about Jacinda, talks about Jacinda and then says that she's actually a man.
00:24:42
Speaker
Ah yes, the old, the old, powerful woman is secretly a man. So I mean this is almost a cliche now when it comes to takedowns of famous slash influential women.
00:25:00
Speaker
This article specifically mentions Michelle Obama and Amal Clooney as being people who are well known to be secretly men. But it's been a not uncommon accusation mentioned against any sort of powerful woman that the person might not like. It is, of course, obviously deeply misogynistic and transphobic.
00:25:19
Speaker
And just sort of generally icky. But it's possibly not surprising, I suppose, that a woman who's in a position of power and who's been receiving international acclaim... A position, Josh, that should be occupied by a man. Because there's also the sexist aspect here, which is the claim that women...
00:25:38
Speaker
Women just aren't suited for the political space, so the only people who would be successful there would be men pretending to be women. Seems to be the kind of reading that goes on there as well. And just the whole sort of gay-agenda, transgender-agenda, is there a transgender-agenda? Because that just rolls off the tongue, I like that.
00:26:01
Speaker
There probably is. There's also probably a trans fact, trans transgender. To get, you know, there's some sort of conspiracy to get trans people into positions of power because the transgendered want to take over the world. And frankly, I say letters. Anyway, so...
00:26:23
Speaker
Then it gets on to, and I use this term in the loosest sense, possible evidence. They basically, the only appeal, there's a particular video of Jacinda Ardern and a bunch of government ministers walking through what I assume is the Beehive, the Houses of Parliament in New Zealand, to a press conference. Now in this video, she's wearing a slightly diaphanous dress, which under the lighting has gone a little bit see-through to the fact to the point where you can actually see her underwear.
00:26:52
Speaker
And people claim that there is a bulge in her underwear where a bulge should not be on a woman, jiggling around. People who have taken a, quite frankly, distasteful interest in our Prime Minister's groin claim that what they're seeing there is evidence of male genitalia. See, I'm just thinking of JFK back and to the left.
00:27:16
Speaker
And to the left. Back. And to the left. Back. And to the... I keep expecting right to come out, just to keep us on our toes. So I'm just thinking of that scene in the criticism of JFK and it's just more back and to the left. Now, I mean, with some degree of distaste, I watched the video.
00:27:47
Speaker
I don't know what to say. As we all know who's watched the most distasteful video on this podcast. Yes, exactly. So I really shouldn't, can't be complaining. Look, I have no desire to discuss our prime minister's junk quite frequently. Or to spend such a long period of time just staring at him. Because basically, just like the Michelle Obama thing, you take a freeze frame, and yes, you'll get a fold that looks like it might be a penis pushed to one side.
00:28:16
Speaker
indeed a shadow that looks like it might be an Adam's apple. That's the freeze frames of course going to make bulges look as if they're physical objects then when you see them in motion they disappear because it's a natural flow of cloth across a body. Yeah so anyway so this is the thing that people jumped on and it all sort of comes from here. Now the thing I do find a little bit interesting is the way you've got one of these cases where
00:28:43
Speaker
they sort of start on a direction based on a single bit of evidence, but God damn it, they're on that direction and they're not going to get derailed, even when they start sort of bringing up their own objections to their own position. So first of all, obviously, if Jacinda Ardern is actually a man, then that whole pregnancy thing has to be brought up. Why?
00:29:07
Speaker
Well, actually, let's not get into the why. First of all, it's like, OK, hang on. If Jacinda Ardern is secretly a man, then how come she got pregnant a while ago and said, well, OK, well, obviously it must have been a fake pregnancy. And so there's discussion of the sorts of fake baby bumps you can get. And obviously these things do exist for movies and the occasional sad, unfortunate hoax. And there's one thing to note here. So because this is over almost a year old now,
00:29:34
Speaker
It's kind of missing out on the latest advance in the TERF version of the trans conspiracy theory, which is that via organ donation, transgendered people are going to get uteruses from women inserted in them if they only waited eight more months, except she's having a baby, but it's because they put a uterus in a man's body.
00:29:59
Speaker
So they get into that, and so first of all, the fact that this person who they're claiming is secretly a man, has supposedly fallen pregnant and given birth, they say, no, no obstacle there, it was a fake pregnancy, the baby came from who the hell knows where, it's adopted, it's stolen, and so on and so on. Then the objection that they're forced to consider is,
00:30:21
Speaker
Why? Like, if you want to have this person have a child and yet they're not actually capable of becoming pregnant, why not just say they adopted? Why go to the trouble of faking a whole pregnancy which could be exposed at any time? That's a good question, Joshua. How do they answer that?
00:30:38
Speaker
Well, that's when things get wonky. Sorry, they weren't already wonky before this point. Sorry, yes. Good point. Here's where things get wonky-er. Here's things where things get really wonky, because up until now it's kind of been just sort of run-of-the-mill misogyny slash transphobia.
00:30:58
Speaker
At this point, we start—good old Baphomet comes up, the Satanist, the whole sort of goat-headed, angel-winged thing. And we start—it's not just a transgender agenda. It's a Baphomet transgender agenda. It's Satanism. It's your good old-fashioned, QAnon, secret, pedophile, child abuse, sex, slavery. As rung by Helen Clark, I believe.
00:31:25
Speaker
It's run by Helen Clark. Yes, so I skipped ahead in a chronological reading of the article, because before they get onto the whole transgender stuff, they also have to have a crack at Helen Clark, who throughout her prime ministership, there were always rumours about her being a lesbian. I don't know if they're true or not. It doesn't bloody matter. No. She also liked them. I've met her husband and he's crayon. He is. Sorry, not husband.
00:31:49
Speaker
Well, exactly. Hartner. Yeah, I mean, there was a thing like, she is married. No, you're right. They actually made it. It was before civil unions and all that. Yeah, sorry. It's one thing she said after the civil union act, she would have preferred a civil union had it been available at the time.
00:32:04
Speaker
Helen Clark did famously at one point, I don't know if it was in an interview, it might have been in an autobiography or a biography of her, mentioned the fact that she hated the fact that she got married. I think she basically got married because you couldn't be an unmarried woman in the political climate of the time. It wasn't sort of the done thing. She talked about being in tears on her wedding day because it wasn't a thing she wanted to do, it was a thing she had to do, which immediately sort of got people saying, oh, so it was a sham marriage all along and so on and so forth.
00:32:32
Speaker
So they did a bit of that. It almost sort of felt obligatory, really. It's like, well, we're talking about women in New Zealand politics. We have to bring up the claims that Helen Clark was a lesbian. It doesn't really go anywhere. They just kind of put it in there. Just kind of to be dicks, really. But that's kind of where part two of the article ends with the idea that we were part one of the article ends with the introduction of this Baphomet Satanist transgender conspiracy. So, Em,
00:33:01
Speaker
Tell us about part two. Give us the good stuff. So part two, which came out a few weeks after part one, starts off with celebrity suicides. Now, funny fact, I think I've brought this up on the podcast before, but I was in the neighbouring town to Cologne the week that Anthony Bourdain committed suicide. Now, I'm not making any claim
00:33:28
Speaker
of any kind that I'm connected to that event. Because I'm not, obviously, I'm not connected to it. But it is interesting that I was in Karlsruhe, which is only a few hours drive from Cologne across the border in Germany. But the author of this, Sam, makes a really big thing about celebrity suicides, because apparently every celebrity suicide
00:33:50
Speaker
is due to the celebs investigating claims of elite pedophile networks operating the highest echelons of Hollywood and either committing suicide because of what they found out
00:34:10
Speaker
or being killed by government agents to make sure they don't spread the news about the terrible things that Hollywood celebs and government agents get up to. Well, obviously, I mean, the idea that Robin Williams, for example, lost a lifelong and well-publicised and documented battle with depression can't be true in any way. He must have been murdered by celebrity pedophiles. It's the only possible explanation.
00:34:39
Speaker
And so this thing gets linked back to Bethamite via, of all people, James Matthew Barry. Now, if you're thinking,
00:34:50
Speaker
I know that name because you know him as the author of Peter Pan, a rather interesting story about childlike innocence being expressed by adults living in a place called Neverland. And actually, I'm surprised I don't do the whole Michael Jackson connection there. Yeah, they actually managed to leave him out of it, don't they? Maybe he would have been in part three.
00:35:12
Speaker
MJ is a bigger story now than maybe he was back in June of last year. Now there has always been scuttlebutt about J.M. Barrie and his relationship with the Davies kids who he kind of based the story of Peter Pan about and told too.
00:35:32
Speaker
Alice Liddell and what's his face? Charles Dobson, except there's actually much, there's better evidence that probably Lewis Carroll was a bit dodge with Alice.
00:35:48
Speaker
Alice Liddell. There's actually not much evidence other than a few rumours around the place that Barry had a dodgy relationship with any of the Davies children to the point where the Davies children in their lifetime, as you said, though, he always appeared to be a very innocent man, but didn't actually appear to do anything. Now it's by the by Barry may or may not have been a pedophile, but this article really goes. He was.
00:36:14
Speaker
And basically, Bethamette and all of that satanic stuff is emblematic of the kind of literature being produced at that time, where Peter Pan is Pan, and Pan, of course, is the old English devil character, ipso facto, Peter Pan is Bethamette.
00:36:40
Speaker
Obviously. Yeah, quite obviously. And then, in one paragraph that goes from that to making the claim the real purpose of the Hadron Collider at the CERN Institute in Geneva is, let me quote here, to poke holes in unknown dimensions using the Hadron Super Collider to bring forth Osiris or the Antichrist. I saw it interesting, and when I say interesting, I mean,
00:37:08
Speaker
video on YouTube the other day by someone, it was basically the Mandela Effect claiming that it's because it's soon is causing alternate timelines resulting in the Mandela Effect and it was the whole... You mean the Mingula Effect. Indeed. The Darth Vader saying, Luke I am your father versus no I am your father.
00:37:27
Speaker
What about that scene where Darth Vader and Luke cross the ravine on a rope and they kiss? Mmm, that one as well. Yeah. But yes, this was taken. Isn't the Mengele Effect fascinating? It is, and the beer and stain beers come up as well. But yes, so it's interesting that those wacky guys at CERN, they're up to some fun stuff. That's true. I remember when they first turned on the Hadron Collider, people were concerned it would produce miniature or what they call micro black holes, which would eat the earth from the inside out, leading to our eventual doom.
00:37:56
Speaker
That would solve climate change. It sure would. It would solve it by changing the climate or a belief forever and also destroying the earth. From existent to non-existent. You can't get more of a change.
00:38:07
Speaker
It then moves from this Bathemet James Barry celebrity suicide thing back to Aotearoa New Zealand by then complaining about the fact that we are a secular nation and that people just don't care about Judeo-Christianity here in any particular respect, which kind of goes to show the author is American.

Secular Politics in New Zealand

00:38:27
Speaker
Because they're kind of surprised that religion doesn't play a big part in our politics, and by it doesn't play a big part in our politics. Religion really doesn't play a part in our politics at all. It's controversial that we have a prayer for the opening of Parliament.
00:38:46
Speaker
If you are religious and you're a Member of Parliament, you go to great lengths to separate your religious beliefs from your political beliefs, because New Zealanders by and large don't want politicians informed by their religious beliefs. They want their beliefs to be formed by arguments for or against a political position. Which is why when Bill English was Prime Minister, and Bill English is a staunch Roman Catholic who opposes abortion,
00:39:15
Speaker
He always defended abortion on, no, he always fought against abortion, didn't defend abortion, on ethical grounds, not religious grounds.
00:39:28
Speaker
But anyway, and then they do a really big thing with not only is our country quite secular, but Jacinda Arderm used to be a Mormon. She did. And now she's not a Mormon anymore. Isn't that suspicious that someone might lose their faith and still turn out to be a decent human being capable of running a country?
00:39:53
Speaker
Yes, I mean, officially Jacinda Ardern has said that she abandoned her Mormon faith because you couldn't reconcile it with the position on homosexuality, I think it was at the time. Which once again is a case of we want our politicians to have arguments based upon evidence and beliefs which aren't religious based. And Jacinda Ardern is a great example of a politician who went
00:40:19
Speaker
can't reconcile my religious beliefs with my political beliefs. The religious beliefs are the ones that are going to have to go on. And that's basically where it ends, because part three, as we said at the beginning,
00:40:32
Speaker
has never eventuated, Jews were falling out between Sam and the person who runs the blog. Any indication of where it might have been going, or frankly, where it's gone already, it could probably bounce off into pretty much any direction. Yeah, given how stream of consciousness, I think, is a good description. Yes, yes, actually, yeah.
00:40:51
Speaker
The first two parts are, it could have literally gone to Mars. They couldn't bring in Andy Bichago. There actually was a mission to Mars. It was with young Barry Obama on Mars back in the 60s because of the whole time travel thing. And maybe the Baphomet statue they draw their power from is located in one of the craters on Mars. And that's where the trans people are with their uteruses. Who knows? Who knows? Who knows? Q knows.
00:41:20
Speaker
Does it, though? Well, does it? Well, probably not. But so, I mean, this this started with references to QAnon, favorable ones, ones that suggested the author is entirely on board with whatever it is that QAnon is selling.

Political Ties to QAnon

00:41:35
Speaker
And it seems to sort of fit in with a lot of the wider QAnon thing of celebrity political pedophile rings and so on and so forth. Does it does part two, is part two particularly QE or does he just sort of use that as the starting point?
00:41:50
Speaker
I think it is mostly the starting point. Although, if you're going to talk about kiwi stuff... I was going to, yes. We should talk about the new New Zealand party, not the New Zealand party, the new New Zealand party. So, yes, moving on from this one article to other kiwonani occurrences... Recent. Recent. Recent. Recent stuff.
00:42:12
Speaker
in the New Zealand political landscape. The New New Zealand Party, basically it was noted that they had been, I don't know, specifically posting QAnon stuff themselves, but approvingly retweeting QAnoni stuff. Who the hell are the New Zealand Party?
00:42:28
Speaker
So many moons ago, and it feels like many moons ago, it was really only about two electoral cycles ago, there was the Conservative Party. Sounds familiar, was that Colin Craig? Run by Colin Craig, the person who was interviewed by David Ferrier in a sauna and Colin Craig wore a woolen suit for the interview whilst David Ferrier has to keep on removing clothes. Still one of the greatest political interviews
00:42:55
Speaker
in our country's history and that kind of shows you the kind of benign political space we exist in. Yes. Where the leader of political party gets interviewed in a sauna wearing a suit with someone who is stripping naked throughout the interview. Wonderful country.
00:43:12
Speaker
Now, Colin Craig and the Conservatives had a bit of an issue and that turns out that Colin Craig was having, if not a physical affair, an emotional affair with his secretary at the time, which kind of got contentious two weeks out from the election, which then caused news stories and caused a kind of
00:43:33
Speaker
moral opprobrium against Colin Craig and the Conservatives because they were meant to be the conservative Christian party in our country and suddenly it turned out the person running the party was not showing good Christian values. Now the Conservatives have relaunched themselves as the new Conservatives
00:43:54
Speaker
and they already have a splinter group, the New New Zealand Party, who think that the New Conservatives, who thought that the Conservatives were too liberal, the New New Zealand Party, I use the word New there too many times, it's just one of those things, think that the New Conservatives are too liberal. And thus the New New Zealand Party has turned out to be the QAnon Party, and that they're now
00:44:22
Speaker
endorsing QAnon messages such as Jacinda Ardern is working with Emmanuel Macron.
00:44:32
Speaker
France? Yes, we're working with the French, who, I will point out, are the only country in recent memory to commit a terrorist attack on our soil, or in this case, in our harbour. Working with Macron on just generally furthering the cause of socialism? Yes, Emmanuel Macron, who's of course well-loved by the workers of France as the Yellow Vest movement is currently showing.
00:45:01
Speaker
And also, Trump is the greatest president. He's draining the swamp. And this seems to be a lot of QAnon stuff coming out from the new New Zealand party. And I don't think it's going to be a very successful electoral gambit for them. Because A, QAnon's actually not that well known in this country. And B, the people who do know it kind of spend most of their time laughing at it.
00:45:30
Speaker
rather than applauding with it. Yes, no, I don't see it being a massive vote winner. No, not really. Being the human party in New Zealand, no. Nevertheless, interesting to see. Yes. And by interesting, I mean... I'm actually now following the New Zealand party on Twitter to see what other hijinks they might produce for us, because I think
00:45:55
Speaker
If they manage to survive long enough to get to the next election before imploding, which is probably the most likely story given how fractatious their beginning was, they may well be the most interesting campaign that no one pays any attention to apart from us. They and Andy Pichago could keep us going next year quite nicely when we'll have a US election and a local election to deal with. Ooh la la, shaori.
00:46:21
Speaker
Did the Libertarians still exist as a political party in New Zealand?
00:46:26
Speaker
No, I actually haven't heard anything from them. Yeah, they didn't stand on the North Shore. And I didn't really, I just looked for the greens for my party vote, so I didn't really look. The logic party stood on the North Shore, that's the anti-1080 party. And I know ACT are currently going through a rejig, which may turn them into the white supremacist alt-right party for a look at that. But we'll know more about that.
00:46:52
Speaker
Next year. Indeed. I do remember one year the Libertarians forgot to apply for their political party funding. They didn't do the paperwork and so ended up being unable to stand in the election, which a libertarian workmate of mine spun as, this is how little control over your lives they want. They don't even properly engage with the bureaucracy of government. That's how little time for government they have.
00:47:19
Speaker
Good for them. If they don't want to run in elections, I'm happy for them not to run in elections. Indeed, they are free to not run in elections in this country. Precisely. That actually makes for a better political landscape if they're off just doing their own thing. Anyway, I think we've come to the end of an episode. Now, normally this is the point where we say coming up next is the bonus content and talk a little bit about what is going to be in the bonus content. But this week,
00:47:45
Speaker
We've done something, something out of the ordinary, something mad and crazy. In fact, you may have noticed, listening to this episode, that the sound is slightly different than normal. There's a bit of panning going on. Hopefully, it's better than normal, one would hope. Well, I mean, with the panning and the fact that now we're using two mics rather than one. We were using two mics before, but they were for a single mono source. Now we've got two mono inputs to make stereo. Stereo, stereo.
00:48:14
Speaker
new sound stereo we've gone back to the beginning and to test going back to the beginning we recorded the bonus content before the main content which is just amazing which means we also spent a lot of time doing the patreon content going we've even recorded the main episode was it good now now you'll know yeah
00:48:36
Speaker
So anyway, so rather than saying what's going to be in the bonus content, it's also what was in the bonus content. Josh, tell us what was in the bonus content. Oh gosh, we talked about the US Navy and UFO sightings. We talked about the fact that Fan Bingbing, who disappeared in China last year, is now back in the limelight. We talked a little bit about the Sri Lanka bombings, and we talked a little bit about Scientologists with the measles. We did, and they're crazy, crazy boatboats.
00:49:06
Speaker
So if you would like to hear about those topics, tune in for the bonus content for this week, which you can listen to if you're a patron. And if you're not, we'll see you again next week for more exciting content in stereo. Stereo. Stereo. Although it is now making me think of... Oh, no, I've got the name of the band. Pumping on your stereo. Can we hear us? Pumping on your stereo. No, no.
00:49:35
Speaker
Another stereo band. Britpop. Britpop here. Bumping on the stereo. I actually quite like them too and now I can't remember their name. It'll come to me as soon as we stop recording. Because one of their music videos is filmed in Port Merrion where the prisoner was filmed and re-enacts key scenes from the prisoner. Fabulous. Bye. Goodbye.
00:50:06
Speaker
You've been listening to the podcaster's guide to the conspiracy, starring Josh Addison and Dr. M.R. Extended, which is written, researched, recorded and produced by Josh and Em. You can support the podcast by becoming a patron via its Podbean or Patreon campaigns. And if you need to get in contact with either Josh or Em, you can email them at podcastconspiracyatgmail.com or check their Twitter account, Mikey Fluids and Conspiracism.
00:51:07
Speaker
And remember, it's just a step to the left.