Transcript
Speaker: Everything was there. The bill was ready. And then I put my card there and there was not enough money. And not only was ah like I was, I felt a sense of shame and I felt so, I had no money and I felt at a loss. I didn't know what to do. And so I just ah apologized. I said, I'll come back. ah I'll get it.
Speaker: get my hospice card and come back. And then I went outside into the car pack and I just stopped and cried. And I just, ah as I was crying, I asked God, why, why, why did you, why are you allowing me to go through this? What have I done wrong? Because at that time I was still searching, but it is during this time that I found Christ.
Speaker: This is the After Dinner Mint, a podcast of stories I tell you at dinner. Think of the mint as the stories you tell after you've been kicked out of the restaurant, holding your mint, standing in the street, telling more honest stories with your friends than you did at the table.
Speaker: It's not a sermon. It's not advice. It's not self-help. We're processing what we're learning about faith and life, honestly, in community. encourage you to do that with our God.
Speaker: and our communities. Hi, I'm Bec and today I'm here with Miriam De Silva. So Miriam is a mother of four. She's originally a journalist in Sri Lanka and now she works in a Christian school. She's a mother of one of our regular writers, Mariah Lachwayo. Welcome to podcast, Miriam.
Speaker: Thank you and thank you for having me. So glad to have you here. Could you tell our listeners, what does a typical week look like for you? What kind of things make up your week?
Speaker: I'm a relief teacher, so I generally work twice a week. I work at, i'm a primary it sir I'm a primary school teacher, and I teach at years two ah Christian schools in the area.
Speaker: And I also like I'm um also a mother, housewife. And so I do a lot of cooking, cleaning, that kind of stuff, gardening. But at the same time, one of the main things I do is I ah call a lot of people.
Speaker: I mean, not just a chat on the phone kind of thing, but purposefully call them. ah Some of them to check on them because they are people who live alone. ah Some of them ah people who go through stuff in their lives. I mean, nobody's given me this job as such, but it's just kind of ah something which God put in my heart to do. So I've been doing it now for many years. And I just continue to do that. So that is also a part of my weekend. on And on Sundays, I'm very close to my siblings. And so every Sunday, I call my, I mean, we have my siblings and I are on on a joint call. So we have a lot of fun conversations. Yeah.
Speaker: Catching up. And yes, at the same time, I also am on quite friendly with some of my cousins. So we are on a cousin's like WhatsApp chat.
Speaker: So it's mainly text messages, but we... keep texting each other four various things. Sometimes it could be just a recipe. Sometimes it could be just to encourage somebody who's gone into hospital because we've reached that age and stuff like that, all with their kids and grandkids and stuff like that, yeah.
Speaker: it the ministry of phone calls? Like it reminds you me... Lots of phone calls. A lady who's in her 90s and she had been a missionary before And she was like, you know, no one gave me this job. She's now in like but one of those villages. And she's like, you know, on these days I go do my visits. And she's visiting like, you know, younger people in the retirement village. But like, it kind of reminds me of that. You're like, no one gave me this job.
Speaker: Like there's quite a lot of intentionality about it. Like what kind of things are you hoping to achieve and how does someone get on your list? Yeah. ah Sometimes people put them on to me, like, i mean, somebody was going through some marital problems. So somebody called me and told me, i mean, I knew the lady, so why don't you have a chat with her? And the chat became weekly call and it went on for years.
Speaker: But then after that, the lady was fine and she moved on. And sometimes it could be somebody known to me, a casino somebody who's going through marital problems or problems with kids or sometimes with parents and stuff like that. And then um they might call me or I might get to know that they are going through something.
Speaker: And then I might give them a casual call. And then that call might, I just pray about it a lot before I call ah because I don't know where it will go to. And sometimes sir people don't want to talk about it. And I don't, i don't fraud and ah like ah poke and like kind of pull information out.
Speaker: I just allow it to ah flow and allow people to be natural and just... a If they feel like opening up, it happens.
Speaker: But sometimes it could be the second or third conversation. It just happens. Sometimes I might meet somebody in a bus or at a church or something, and it happens. I don't know how but it happens, yes, in various ways, yeah.
Speaker: I love that. I love that there's... just, it sounds like, you know, it's a structured part of your week, but almost like there's such a level of, you're kind of like, well, I'll just do this as as long as the Lord's calling me to it. Like I pray through it, we'll talk through it. You know, maybe it's years, maybe it's a couple of like phone calls, but...
Speaker: Yeah, there's like quite a level of flexibility to it as well. Yes, sometimes I must also say like, you know, there was one gentleman whom I used to talk to for about three years, three or four years, and it was a one-way conversation.
Speaker: Because he couldn't talk. He met with an accident. He was a friend of mine. And or when I heard about him, the wife told me that she can see him reacting because sometimes a tear would go down his cheek. Sometimes he would um blink rapidly and things like that. But um I just felt that...
Speaker: I was making some headway in helping him to, like, I mean, I would read scripture, I would pray with him, I would talk to him about just general things which are happening in my life and, you know, tell him, okay, I heard from your wife that this is happening, I heard from your daughter that this is happening and That's really good and I love it that you're, I know that you're growing in faith and that kind of thing.
Speaker: So it was just a one big conversation.
Speaker: Yeah. Like, you know, it's, it would in what in some ways you're like, it's always such an awkward thing to do, but I can imagine for someone who can't talk, like, A lot of people wouldn't wade through that because they'd be like, it's too awkward to do it But you're like, this man does want to talk to people and he does want to connect. So I'm going to give you that.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I love that. That's a really cool. Like, that's just an awesome ministry. I love that. Like, no one's given me this. I will do it. Which I think kind of leads nicely into like what are you doing when you feel like the most like yourself, like this is what I was made to do, you know, what makes you feel the most alive?
Speaker: The most alive I feel is when I talk to people. I'm a person who loves people and I love their stories as well. Like I mean whether they're happy or sad, like their stories.
Speaker: their their lives and like if I can ah even if they're sad stories if I can be a part of that story that like I mean not me so much as like I mean lead them to Christ and tell them that this is the only way for you to be happy that would be my day or my week or my month and month or Sundays whatever you call it yeah laughter
Speaker: Yeah, i I would be with you on that one. I think that's kind of the consistent pattern. I'm like, i yeah, working as a therapist, you're like, I love people's stories and I love this. You're like, oh, yes, this is – Like there's a story, but there's like the greatest story. It was like Christ. It's just yes everything is story. It's fun. Yes.
Speaker: I mean, from the time I used to be a journalist, I mean, again, you know that. You meet all kinds of people. You meet, I met, I remember meeting our family. They were all deaf and mute.
Speaker: I'm not sure whether I'm using the right words, but yeah, the whole family. And there was only one child who could speak.
Speaker: So he ah he was the go-between. He was the one who interpreted the whole conversation. And, yeah, it was a really interesting story.
Speaker: you go ah Yes. How do we communicate? You're like, I'm gay. Yes.
Speaker: So there's different ways in communicating, you know? Yeah. Yeah. yeah Like, so kind of continuing that thread of like stories. Like how, how did you become a Christian?
Speaker: Oh, i I used to be going to a kind of ritualistic church. I mean, ne i'm I'm not going to put, you know, throw them under of the bus or anything because it is all part of my faith journey.
Speaker: And for years and years and years, i would go every day Mass and... ah I was so like, I would read the Bible, I would pray, but it was very ritualistic.
Speaker: And I would do a lot of good works and stuff like that, but I never really had a relationship with God. I didn't really understand the gospel, the good news.
Speaker: Like Jesus, that Jesus Christ died and rose again for our sins and, you know, to open heaven go heaven's gates. I never understood any of this stuff. Although I, you know, parroted all of this stuff and I would listen to the gospel reading, read out and all that.
Speaker: I would read it myself. I never understood it. And then I got married to a man who was, ah He was a Pentecostal law. I'm not sure. Yeah, maybe. Yes. more More like that, you know. And he was a person who had been to Bible school.
Speaker: And the so ah he came along with me, but because I ah insisted insisted on it and I felt that was the way to go.
Speaker: But as life, as we went on with life and the kids came and They came along with me, you know, the same kind of ritualistic, like, faith.
Speaker: And, like, there was faith also, like, you know, because I've been through, like, what can I say? i have been through lots of conflict and stuff like that in my life, yeah ah civil unrest in my country and stuff like that. But, um and so there there is faith, but ah d really no relationship with God.
Speaker: Then when I came to, maybe it would have been about 14, 15 years ago, i was some I had lost my job.
Speaker: I had joined the Autism Association and then, you know, had a um a shoulder injury and I was at home.
Speaker: I couldn't move my shoulder. And ah ah my husband... um said, okay, we need to do something about our lives. And okay, we if we are having these 40 days of Lent and um kind of doing stuff, you know, that was the way it was in that church. And he said, okay, we're not going to be...
Speaker: um watching TV, you're not going to be doing anything except maybe you can watch God TV or that kind of thing which was on at that time. There was a channel like that on ah TV.
Speaker: And also ah you could read the Bible. And he told us what it was to do a word fast. okay And that means not to read any newspapers, books, unless, of course, you were going to school or university, but only the Bible and Bible-based stuff like listening to worship, that stuff.
Speaker: So we did it. ah all six of us, we did it. It was tough, but we did it. And at that time, i had nothing else to do.
Speaker: I couldn't cook. I couldn't ah sweep. I put couldn't vacuum. I couldn't do anything. I just had to be on this couch. So I watched God TV and I read the Bible all day long and something happened.
Speaker: While I was watching TV, God TV at that time, this pastor came online and he explained what the gospel was. And I thought I know that and I knew that, but I still did didn't didn't really understand that.
Speaker: The way you put it across was so good. And then he said, let's pray. And he prayed and I prayed along with him. And then some, I just felt totally different.
Speaker: I just felt like somebody, that's okay, somebody had, was just holding me. Even physically, I just felt that somebody was holding me.
Speaker: And I just felt such a sense of peace. I can't explain it. And them then after that, when I started reading the Bible, it was different.
Speaker: I understood later that it was the Holy Spirit in my life who was not present nor acknowledged before. But here he was, teaching me everything.
Speaker: I had no sense of time at that time because I was not going to work. I was not cooking or doing any of the usual chores and stuff which I did. So I would sit up through the night reading by reading my Bible. And that's all I wanted to do.
Speaker: Suddenly, I just wanted to find out more and more about this God who had saved me. And I just went on and on and on that way.
Speaker: And then even when I slept, I would wake up with a Bible verse sometimes and I would go back find it and research it. And that time, the internet was not so like, a not so good, not not not like now. So I didn't know how to look for verses at that time on the net. And I just had to physically ah like turn the pages. Yes.
Speaker: Wow, that's amazing. I'm like, it's so fascinating to me, like, Actually, what you hear, um lot a lot of people that I've been interviewing say the similar thing. They're like, you know, I'm i new.
Speaker: you know, sometimes they come from religious backgrounds. I'm like, I knew it. But then, you know, when I really was like, oh, I thought I, you know, there's a sense of peace that comes up. You say the Holy Spirit. I'm like, ah.
Speaker: And then I had this sense of peace and then I was so excited about the word and I was so interested in And I love to hear that in your story that actually, Yeah, you're like, you know, you've always been busy with really good things but actually stopping and, like, that's where the joy came.
Speaker: Yes. Yeah. Someone who's encouraged or inspired you in your Christian walk and why? a I've had lots of, firm I've had some pastors.
Speaker: I've had, but mostly ah my husband and also um many people in my life who I've watched and seen truly live, live,
Speaker: ah the Christian life, live Christ-like lives. Like, you know, there was this lady whom I was really close to. it I went out to help her actually because she was, um she had cancer. She passed away and went to ah be with Christ. ah But while she lived the courage, the courage, the strength, the faith to carry on and not give up on her faith, that was amazing.
Speaker: The struggles she went through in having to in knowing that she had to leave her loved ones and a little daughter. And yes, it was really sad, but the courage.
Speaker: that helped her to go forward, the faith. It was amazing. It was so inspiring. I've watched others also like, you know, who have lost lost loved ones or lost babies, i mean, in the womb, and,
Speaker: um and you know, sometimes gone into depression and how God has been so good to them. and how their faith has kept them going, how they've come out of it and help others.
Speaker: Now, that's been so inspiring. There have been others who have kind of, I've seen, like, I mean, like the wife of the ah man whom I used to speak to on the phone who couldn't speak, was kind of paralyzed, just like the paralytic, paralyzed chest downwards or neck downwards, ah kind of, he couldn't move much, yeah.
Speaker: So to watch these wives, another wife as well, whose husband had a kind of neuro, some kind of sickness and how the wives have looked after them so lovingly.
Speaker: you know, there would have been they would have got frustrated. They would have got, I mean, you can walk away from a situation like that, which I've seen also. But it's faith alone that has kept them going. And those people have been really inspiring for me.
Speaker: I think there's something in that, isn't it? Yeah, it's it's watching other people, who just seeing what they're carrying and saying, what that's so hard and I don't know how you're doing it, but actually...
Speaker: Yeah, and you're doing it like joyfully or like yeah trusting. Yeah. That's right, joyfully. And they there might be times when they're low, but they go to their go-to place is always Christ and His words. So that's what helps them.
Speaker: And that's what that's what helps me too now, you know. Yeah, yeah. it's It's not only knowing it, I suppose that shift from where you were, where you're like, I knew things about God, but actually seeing people like live that out in the embedded yes parts of their days. Yeah. yeah like yes There's something really rich about that. Yes.
Speaker: Yeah. um would you Could you tell us about like a hard season that you've walked through and kind of how you experienced God's faithfulness to you in that season?
Speaker: Yes. I've been through many hard hard seasons like, i mean, civil unrest and in my country and ah like losing people, like loved ones and like losing babies and, you know,
Speaker: Lots of stuff like that. But what I would like to speak about is a season when I lost my job.
Speaker: I was the breadwinner in the family because we had migrated recently and My husband couldn't find a steady work and he was he's a musician, so it was difficult for him. And um so at that time, you know, because it was all new. ah So at this point, I lost my job and there was no income.
Speaker: And we didn't know whom to turn to. We were not with the church where we had that kind of support system like that. And so we didn't open up. I don't know. We didn't feel like opening up with, you know, people, family and stuff like that. And it was a really tough season.
Speaker: But it was a time when God really... was there all along. There was a day I'll never forget when I went into Woolies and I loaded up my shopping trolley and I came to the and came to the counter and everything was there. The bill was ready and then I put my card there and there was not enough money.
Speaker: And not only was ah like I was, ah felt a sense of shame and I felt so, I had no money and I felt at a loss. I didn't know what to do. And so I just ah apologized. I said, I'll come back. ah I'll get it.
Speaker: get my hospice card and come back. And then I went outside into the car pack and I just stopped and cried. And I just, ah as I was crying, I asked God, why, why, why did you, why are you allowing me to go through this? What have I done wrong? Because at that time I was still searching, but it is during this time that I found Christ. And i distinctly,
Speaker: heard a voice say to me, this ah verse from ah from the Bible, I think it was from Psalm 3410, you will lack for nothing good.
Speaker: Now, I had never heard something like that before because it was new now, reading the Bible was new at that time. So I went back home and i went to where I find comfort. I just opened my Bible. And I had not been reading the Psalms that morning, but it fell open there to Psalm 34. And the first verse that I saw is verse 10. And it said yeah something about the young lions and stuff, the verse before. But this verse was, you will lack for nothing good.
Speaker: And I thought, this is God telling me. not to worry about anything. And just, the worry just went away. And God provided. People would, like, anonymously people would come and there would be, we would open the door and find that somebody had dropped off rise and provisions at the door.
Speaker: Somebody would come and say, look, I bought this. Yes, literally. People would come and say, look, bought this stuff. And i I mean, I'm going on a trip and I don't know what to do. Can you take this? It's in my fridge. Or I emptied my fridge because I just have to throw it in the bin otherwise. Or stuff like that. And then I would find money in my postbox. Maybe somebody...
Speaker: in an envelope, like, you know, somebody might have known about us and dropped it off. We would have, like, suddenly we'll find somebody whom we had given a, ah lent some money to, returning our money.
Speaker: really happy days, you know. Wow. Wow. It was, yeah, what God would provide in different ways, you know, it's just like the, like Jesus Christ told ah ah Peter to go look in the fish's mouth, you know, for the coin. It was just like that, you know, in different ways, different forms, different ways. Like you wouldn't expect it, you know. And sometimes at at that point, maybe the government was giving out some kind of subsidy or something, you know. And that's what happened, you know. And then, of course, with schooling, it was tough.
Speaker: But even there, ah like the school was so good, like they allowed us to go into a kind of... a way of, fur you know, paying up in a different way so that it was easy for us. And so God provided.
Speaker: So I found that, you know, like I might not, I might not, ah like I might have lost like a job or my source of income, but I found my provider.
Speaker: And he wasn't just providing in materially, but in every way. Like, you know, it led on to my accepting Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior also. Like, that was the time.
Speaker: It was all rolled into one. So that's amazing. So the same time that you you'd lost your job, you said you also had this shoulder injury. so Yeah, from that I went on to a work part-time at Autism Association and then there I had a shoulder injury so I had to leave. leave Of course, I had compensation for a short while but and miraculously my shoulder came back to normal at a prime meeting but...
Speaker: Yes. And that also, after going to doctors, going for physiotherapy, having injections, needles, but nothing worked. And then just suddenly overnight, after this, passed a parade for me and said said something from the pulpit about somebody having a shoulder injury and...
Speaker: being healed and I came home and my shoulder was fine. ah
Speaker: So that was it. Yeah. Things happen here. God is so good. It's God, not anybody else. Like it's not a human being. he uses human beings as vehicles of ourselves. Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah. So I just love that. I mean, my goodness, there's like just that shift in it sounded like you'd spent your life working so hard to be good, to, you know, to survive all of these things, you know, and moving over here and, you know, having children and not having all of that support network. And at that point where God took all of that away. Yes.
Speaker: And he said, I will provide. trust in me. Yeah. Wow, that's just beautiful. Yeah. Yes. Oh, my goodness.
Speaker: That is, yeah, like sometimes, you know, removing everything with your attachments and showing you that he alone is God. He alone is your everything.
Speaker: Yes. Yes, when you have nothing else, you're like, he already provides. Wow. what What is a word of encouragement you could offer to a woman listening who might be walking through a similar season?
Speaker: Yes, I'd like to. What I really would like to say is that, i mean, God has a good reason to allow you through a tough season.
Speaker: ah Because through that tough season, ah you draw closer to Him. You learn things. you ah You don't fall to pieces at the drop of a coin, kind of, you know. you ah like ah it's You learn to endure in faith, not alone.
Speaker: You understand that you're never alone. like It's just like a season of building your foundation on faith. on the Word of God, kind of, you know, like the two builders um in this in the parable.
Speaker: ah So, D'Azio, like, he gives us, he allows things to happen in our lives, not because God is evil. God cannot be evil. God is good all the time.
Speaker: And God is love. There's no other name for him. And he does everything in love. He's like a loving father. Like he's not going to just allow us to run on the road as children to get knocked over.
Speaker: But sometimes, like my one of my children, sometimes things happen even when they hurt yourself. I remember my son, he I told him not to touch the hot iron.
Speaker: And the moment I turned, he touched touch it It was so painful for him. and It was awful. but ah But he learned never to touch the hot iron again.
Speaker: laughter ah father i mean marry yes Not that God does that kind of thing. he doesn't But He allows things allows us to go through tough toughft tea and like challenging things so that we grow.
Speaker: We grow not away from Him, but towards Him. So that again is a choice. But um again, when we make the choice to grow towards him or follow him, it helps us. like it we We find that it doesn't matter what happens around us, nothing can shake us because things will happen.
Speaker: There's no person who goes through stuff ah who doesn't go through stuff. We all have to go through stuff. It's that Psalm 1, isn't it? Like, you um you know, blessed is the man and then, like, there's that picture of that tree planted by water. Your roots are deep. Exactly. And although, like, bad times come, like, your leaf does not wither because... Yes.
Speaker: Yeah. yes you can you can endure and you can... Yes, because you're like, it sounded like that sense of you are depending on God and trusting him. You're like, I'm not doing it in your own strength.
Speaker: Yes. But he's saying like, I'm drawing you closer to me so that you will hold on and know that that's how you enjoy. That's right. Yes. Yeah. It's very funny because the world teaches us to be independent.
Speaker: As children grow, they're taught to be independent. And that's, I mean, we don't want them to be be attached to us. Okay. But we have to teach our children to be dependent on God from a and independence from us to a dependence on God.
Speaker: So I always think about that. like that. That's so interesting to me because I...
Speaker: have really been just wrestling that, wrestling with that for myself, being like, actually, God is not calling me to be independent all the time, but he's calling me, you know, he's growing me in wisdom. He's hopefully teaching, you know, he's teaching and growing me, but he's also teaching me to depend on him. So I love that picture of thinking about that for my kids. You're like, okay, there's a point where you know, because my children are still quite little, you're not going to depend on me as much, but you should always depend on God, that we will all look at him together. I'm gesturing to the walk, but I'm like, we will all look at him together. Yeah. yeah yeah
Speaker: Oh, that's great. who Who would you nominate for this next? Like who do you, is there a woman who encourages you who you think would be really good to hear from? ah Yes, I have a ah lady whom I work with, whom I'm quite friendly with, and she is Lysel Thead.
Speaker: And Lysel, she's at our church. Yes, and she's the chaplain of one of the schools I go to, and she really inspires me because I guess people don't really know what a chaplain does, but in her job, I find that she is so,
Speaker: strong in her faith, she has to be. And at the same time, obviously, she we can see that she has a good relationship with God because because of that, she has a gift of discernment, to be able to discern what to do in every situation.
Speaker: She has to work with families and and kids alike and have a mix of strength, being firm as well as being compassionate and loving.
Speaker: And that's a tough thing to do. ah myself, i I mean, I consider myself a kind of counselor, like, you know, but not really, but, you know, meaning Christ-led, like, you know, when it comes to a point where you lead them to ah the word of God and and Christ but seeing seeing her how she deals with them in different ways it's beautiful to watch so I feel that she'll be really helpful and inspiring to many people and yeah that's lovely I will chase her down and like Liesl you have been nominated
Speaker: you
Speaker: No, that's, this is, I really enjoy this part of it because it's so lovely people saying like, this is someone that I have watched and I have seen and I yeah really enjoy how they do life. So it's really fun to they go to that person and be like, how are you doing this? well Please tell me. Yeah. It's um it's so great. It's so encouraging. So I think the things that I'm going to walk away with from today is just like,
Speaker: that beautiful picture of God taking, you know, allowing those things to be taken away. yes But actually kind of planting you by the river, like giving you, you know, living water saying like, i i will provide for you, I will give you everything. And it sounds like what he's given you in the process is that like peace and joy and dependence and trust in he's going provide. He's got you. Yes.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm so grateful. Thank you so much. This has been a beautifully encouraging interview. Yeah. and Thank you for having me. yeah It's been a pleasure. Thank
Speaker: That's it from us, friends. We hope you enjoyed today's episode. And if you did, you can sign up to our free weekly newsletter called Stories I'd Tell You at Dinner. So you get essays, poetry, podcast episodes, everything, photo essays straight to your inbox on Wednesdays from March to November from Christian Women in Western Australia.
Speaker: If you'd like that, the link is in the show notes. Thanks for listening, guys. Music.
