Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
He was No Lee Harvey
44 Plays5 months ago
Our longest episode yet gents! Donald Trump has been shot. Richard Simmons died (not Shot). Crazy day recapped by the boys and sprinkled in some fun Army stories.
Recommended
Transcript
Podcast Recording Woes
00:00:13
William Whaley
and we're back again um... you know we have some vacation time uh... special time with our family we actually tried to do a couple show uh... but you know surprise surprise kite got fuckin drunk blacked out if you will and uh... they went south like it went the way you thought it would uh...
00:00:31
Jacob Contreras
a It's probably not a bad thing.
00:00:33
dylankite
yeah Yeah, I'm not gonna lie, the first time we tried to record, because we were way out there, so the internet sucked.
00:00:34
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:00:40
dylankite
First time we tried to record, I want to say we made it like 35, 40 minutes, and then the internet dropped it.
00:00:44
William Whaley
Yeah, it wasn't terrible.
00:00:47
dylankite
And then I kept drinking and they were like, all right, it's working. Let's go again. And I just, they got the full experience. I just went hard as fuck.
00:00:54
William Whaley
Yeah, it is.
00:00:54
dylankite
I was like black out drunk talking shit. It might've lasted five minutes.
00:00:58
William Whaley
Basically call basic. Yeah, basically called our wives like fuck rags or something. I don't know what you call.
00:01:04
Jacob Contreras
Wow.
00:01:05
William Whaley
They're just like, what the fuck?
00:01:05
Jacob Contreras
Wow.
00:01:08
dylankite
They were just both dead silent.
00:01:08
William Whaley
like
00:01:10
dylankite
I was like, come on. Y'all wanted to do this.
00:01:11
William Whaley
yeah
00:01:12
dylankite
Let's go. yeah ah
00:01:15
William Whaley
I was just like now there is like imagine it was just like ah i'm done is like la right right and don't think it's quite that, but yeah.
00:01:15
dylankite
Didn't last long, did not last long.
00:01:17
Jacob Contreras
that and that Like, like we've said previous on previous shows, there's a inverse scale on kite drinking and coherence in the podcasting.
00:01:27
dylankite
Yeah, yeah.
00:01:29
Jacob Contreras
We got to find the sweet spot. Um, it always goes off the rails real quick.
00:01:32
dylankite
You know what they say, if you can't handle the heat, get back in the kitchen, man. i yeah
00:01:40
Jacob Contreras
ah
00:01:41
dylankite
a
00:01:41
Jacob Contreras
Another reason why that will never air. Another
Pigeon Forge Adventures
00:01:44
Jacob Contreras
more dead air.
00:01:44
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:01:44
dylankite
this
00:01:45
William Whaley
but
00:01:46
dylankite
I'm not gonna lie though, this morning I was thinking about the podcast, I was like, we got a lot of shit to talk about.
00:01:47
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:01:50
dylankite
you know we had We did a lot of shit in Pigeon Forge, some shenanigans went down in Pigeon Forge. um Now I think everything's changed.
00:01:58
Jacob Contreras
then None of that matters. All all of that is gone.
00:02:03
dylankite
Everything's changed. Like, you know, we had a lot of heat coming in and Pigeon Forge. The mustache has completely changed, Jake. He's changed his hairstyle.
00:02:12
William Whaley
yeah
00:02:12
dylankite
It's all slicked back now.
00:02:12
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:02:13
dylankite
I don't know if he's going for like an Italian look.
00:02:14
William Whaley
Yeah i Yeah, right Did you guys watch that fucking thing I sent you about like the dude talking about how you watch the guy crawling up the back and
00:02:15
dylankite
I don't know if it's like a war officer thing.
00:02:17
Jacob Contreras
I've been doing a lot of lawns.
00:02:18
dylankite
Yeah. But ah and now all that shit's out the window with old Big Daddy Cheeto taking around for the team.
00:02:34
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, so I had seen that one. Yeah. Well, yeah, it was like, you're crawling up, you're obviously have a rifle. And then I saw that other angle of the sniper team on the roof
00:02:34
dylankite
Mhmm.
Sniper Incident Speculation
00:02:44
Jacob Contreras
behind Trump. Like, it's it's been pretty wild watching all of that unfold and more and more info comes out. I mean, I'm sure by the time we're done with this, there's already gonna be some new development because they're gonna be talking about it all night.
00:02:53
William Whaley
Something out here now is nuts Yeah The
00:02:54
dylankite
Yeah, it's, it's crazy. It was just like super shocking. Cause I'd, I was playing a game. I was getting ready for the pod and Cara came downstairs. She goes, turn on the TV. I was like, all right, cool. So I turned it on and it started playing and I was like, whoa.
00:03:09
Jacob Contreras
what a fucking G though like no the the fucking photo yeah the photo the the setup the I was like oh yeah no I was like I don't know who's doing it I'm buying it I'm buying stickers like if you that shit just goes hard
00:03:09
dylankite
Like, you know, fucking July 13th, July 13 is going down in history.
00:03:16
William Whaley
photo there was already t-shirts we had fucking made port noise got t-shirts and
00:03:25
dylankite
Yeah.
00:03:26
William Whaley
it's I was just like He
00:03:27
dylankite
Immediately. Immediately. You know, cause Kara's feet's way different than mine, obviously. Immediately she starts getting blasted.
00:03:35
William Whaley
means it's not all race races jokes You know you I'm talking about
00:03:37
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it's not racism and It's not it's not as spicy Well, so that Yeah, they well you heard him ring off but
00:03:38
dylankite
Yeah, yeah. It's not nearly as fun, you know what I mean? It's it's pretty boring.
00:03:47
dylankite
But all of our friends are posting online, so stage, whatever. And I'm like, stage? There's a dead motherfucker in the background.
00:03:55
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:03:56
dylankite
valley There's something you guys shot in the head, this ain't Steve.
00:03:56
William Whaley
ah Yeah. They said they said five shots, right? Or something like that. Like they heard five shots.
00:04:01
dylankite
He was like five.
00:04:03
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:04:03
Jacob Contreras
But it's crazy because I was, my sister had said something similar like, oh, it seems staged. And I was like, that's where we're at now. Like nobody can believe anything that they see on the internet. Like we're just, a we're so desensitized to everything that has got to be fake.
00:04:14
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:04:18
Jacob Contreras
It's got to be staged. It's got to be like, whatever. I was like. I now as in the way of presidential assassination attempts, I'm not saying that it's staged, but like, it is a crazy thing that has happened. And it's continually that's, that's a part of our culture at this point, like it is a part of our history. That's, that's just what it is.
00:04:35
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:04:36
Jacob Contreras
But like that no, there's a whole section of people that don't believe it.
00:04:37
dylankite
It's wild.
00:04:37
William Whaley
like i can't believe it i mean i i mean i i can't i can see where people are are skeptical but like no one's gonna stage this unlike like a man like let's stage this to where this guy takes a shot at me and he like what he just he's so good he's gonna clip me like no there's so many there's so much room for air and the reason he missed this and he's not going to be prior service if he is he's probably going to be air force and these prior service like whack job and
00:04:39
Jacob Contreras
There's a whole section that don't though.
00:04:54
Jacob Contreras
Well, I I've seen the ones.
00:04:57
dylankite
You know.
00:05:05
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah.
00:05:07
William Whaley
I was like who somebody made a comment. They're like, well, you know something liberal I was like, I was like, are we sure cuz how did he get that gun?
00:05:13
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, he could be.
00:05:14
dylankite
Yeah, I would not trust.
00:05:14
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I was like, well, we know he's more liberal because he sucks at shooting.
00:05:19
William Whaley
Yeah Fucking
00:05:20
dylankite
Yeah. Yeah. So two things, two things y'all said.
00:05:20
Jacob Contreras
if
00:05:23
dylankite
Yeah. One,
Historical Misconceptions
00:05:24
dylankite
I wouldn't trust fucking John Wick to nick me in the fucking ear.
00:05:28
William Whaley
ear yeah but from from ah from us with the rifle right like
00:05:28
dylankite
I don't trust you that much.
00:05:29
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
00:05:30
dylankite
you Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's fucking why I don't trust you that much. I'm sorry. You have an expert shooting badge. Don't trust you. It's not going to happen.
00:05:39
William Whaley
Yeah, I don't yeah you got to stay still yeah Well
00:05:41
Jacob Contreras
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
00:05:41
dylankite
Like, you know what I mean?
00:05:44
dylankite
Yeah.
00:05:47
Jacob Contreras
really like
00:05:47
dylankite
Yeah, yeah.
00:05:48
William Whaley
right that's that's what I was watching that video I sent you guys like I was just like you know what like the guy is like I guess wasn't at the event he was just outside of the event and he's yelling at like the cops and they're all like they said they're just kind of like looking around at him and he's like pointing to the back of the roof and he's just like
00:05:57
Jacob Contreras
ah yeah
00:06:05
William Whaley
yeah Why is it there like other like I don't know they said he's like he's like the venue was pretty small It's like he could have put a purse on each roof just to make sure nobody got up there like and Like he he felt like nobody was taking him serious.
00:06:10
Jacob Contreras
But but that's yeah that's the thing that surprises me is like, i I don't know what the Secret Service goes through in order to secure an event.
00:06:17
William Whaley
I guess like I got I mean, it's wild Yeah
00:06:26
Jacob Contreras
But I would think like, hey, rooftops that have fucking lines of sight to the president, maybe we look at them, you know, maybe we maybe we're monitoring them.
00:06:34
dylankite
ah whole timeline doesn't make sense
00:06:34
William Whaley
made maybe maybe one
Festival Fun & Law Encounters
00:06:36
William Whaley
I'll hear you I work for the air well that's what the guy was saying I immediately yeah
00:06:36
dylankite
the whole time doesn't line doesn't make sense because they're like pointing saying hey there's a dude up on the roof you can see the angle where the secret service is already like got the sniper looking at the dude why are they not already radioing back like hey get him down like I don't know like
00:06:46
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:06:50
Jacob Contreras
or Or the motherfucker has has a gun like we see a gun, you know.
00:06:54
dylankite
Now the secret service on stage did really good. Like they started the whole human shield thing. Like they, you know, they, they sworn and they did good on that end. But like the sniper should have like, as he's lining up the shot, at least like the fucking like sight guys should have been like, Hey down, you know, gun something like yell out something.
00:07:09
William Whaley
Something yeah, yeah because yeah Yeah, yeah Yeah Unfortunately, yeah, unfortunately one one bystander was killed another was injured like that's terrible Yeah, I mean, I mean
00:07:11
dylankite
Yeah. But it was crazy though. Like it looked like as soon as he turned his head, it went by.
00:07:16
Jacob Contreras
Well, he was kind of looking he he was he was looking down like he kept like looking right, you know, but still I was like, yeah, I don't trust nobody to fucking if it's stage like hit me in the fucking ear.
00:07:17
dylankite
So if he wouldn't have turned his head, who knows?
00:07:29
dylankite
No, I don't trust no fucking body.
00:07:34
dylankite
Yeah. Yeah, some dude, the dude that got shot in the head, his whole family was there. That's crazy.
00:07:40
William Whaley
Yeah, just fucking.
00:07:41
dylankite
It's fucking crazy. And just going back to what people don't believe on the internet, it's just fucking wild.
00:07:42
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, they
00:07:45
dylankite
Because like if I check, because you know and on ah Twitter, it has two feeds. It has 4u and it has trending.
00:07:52
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:07:52
dylankite
So the 4u on mine was like just like true patriot, like American hero, like sticking up his fist, everything.
00:07:56
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:07:58
dylankite
When I look at Cara's, I dropped my thing, sorry.
00:08:01
William Whaley
Oh.
00:08:01
dylankite
When I look at Cara's, it's like, he missed. Fucking almost got it. And I'm like, really?
00:08:07
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:08:08
Jacob Contreras
Dude, there, there were some nasty people out there immediately.
00:08:08
dylankite
Is that where we're at?
00:08:09
dylankite
Cause I don't like buying, but if he was out there, I wouldn't want him to get assassinated.
00:08:13
William Whaley
Fascinated, yeah.
00:08:13
dylankite
Like that's crazy.
00:08:14
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. Yeah.
00:08:15
dylankite
Like he missed like really like, Oh my God.
00:08:18
Jacob Contreras
It was pretty nasty really quick.
00:08:18
William Whaley
Well, that's what I said, yeah.
00:08:20
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, like it did not take long for those people to show their faces and but that's the other thing is like I was recently reading on like comment farming, you know, like where it's like a motherfucker with 50 phones and he's just programming stuff and it's like many people yet or like but they're like comment arms.
00:08:32
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:08:33
dylankite
That that's true too.
00:08:34
William Whaley
Oh, he's trolling, trolling, yeah, yeah, you know.
00:08:35
dylankite
Yeah. You have to, you do have to keep that in mind.
00:08:37
Jacob Contreras
He just has a wall of phones, you know, like it's It's crazy out there because it's like, yeah, he could just flood the internet with that immediately.
00:08:45
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:08:46
Jacob Contreras
And it's gonna, it's gonna start trending and stuff.
00:08:46
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:08:48
Jacob Contreras
So it's yeah.
00:08:48
dylankite
You do have to keep that in mind.
00:08:49
dylankite
You don't know how many of those are real people actually posting. How many people are just trying to round more people up? It's crazy, but yeah.
00:08:57
Jacob Contreras
It's wild day today, boys.
00:08:58
William Whaley
Yeah. Well, that being said, yeah, if he
00:08:58
dylankite
Yeah.
Camping & Climate Challenges
00:09:00
William Whaley
was like a super conservative or army or Marine veteran, um, Trump would be dead.
00:09:05
William Whaley
I mean, let's just, let's just like, it was called call what it is.
00:09:06
dylankite
yeah You know what's crazy too is right afterwards CNN interviewed a guy that was 40 feet away. He was in the backstands and they were asking him for play by play, which makes sense. Like, you know, you could tell the dude's emotional. He's given his side of the story.
00:09:21
William Whaley
yeah
00:09:21
dylankite
And at the very end, the last question they asking him is about how would he vote now? And I'm like, I don't think that's important right now. ah You know, and he answered the way I thought.
00:09:30
Jacob Contreras
Also, if he was there, I kinda figure if you're attending the event.
00:09:32
William Whaley
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
00:09:33
dylankite
Yeah. He answered the way I thought. He goes, you know, I'm more solidified now than ever. He's at a Trump rally.
00:09:38
William Whaley
Right, yeah.
00:09:39
dylankite
You know, of course he's going to say that, but at the same time, like, yeah, like, why do we need that question?
00:09:40
William Whaley
the the They wanted, to yeah, they wanted that sound bite.
00:09:40
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:09:42
William Whaley
they That's what I want, yeah.
00:09:45
dylankite
Like someone just almost, you know, it's just the whole situation is weird to me.
00:09:46
William Whaley
Right.
00:09:49
dylankite
Why are we talking about this dude?
00:09:49
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:09:51
dylankite
Miss? Why are we talking about how that these people are going to vote? in it Like a motherfucker almost died.
00:09:55
Jacob Contreras
You know, and, and to be on the, yeah, yeah, a couple of people died, but.
00:09:57
William Whaley
the
00:09:59
dylankite
Yeah, somebody did die. Somebody's in like ah apparently like critical condition. Like I don't think it's very important right now.
00:10:08
Jacob Contreras
And then on the other end of the spectrum, like, I don't know if you guys saw Joe Biden and his, uh, statement that he had put out, I actually thought it was pretty good.
00:10:08
dylankite
Yeah.
00:10:10
William Whaley
the
00:10:14
William Whaley
all yeah
00:10:15
Jacob Contreras
Like I was like, everything he said made sense.
00:10:16
dylankite
No, it was solid.
00:10:17
Jacob Contreras
I was like, yeah, like right on. Like I completely understand, you know, like he's like, we're waiting for all of it to come out, but it was like, Yo, Joe's coherent right now. It's weird.
00:10:17
William Whaley
ah
00:10:27
dylankite
Yeah. No, I watched it with Cara too on CNN because our Fox thing was messing up.
00:10:30
William Whaley
i Don't know I what I what I yeah what I took out of it is he kind of refused to call it a assassination attempt I know he was waiting.
00:10:38
Jacob Contreras
Well, yeah, he did stay away from that.
00:10:38
dylankite
Yeah.
00:10:39
William Whaley
He's waiting waiting for the facts.
00:10:40
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, he did stay away from that.
00:10:41
William Whaley
I mean he stayed away from that He's like, it's pretty but in what it was like, what do you mean?
00:10:44
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:10:44
William Whaley
Like, let's see There
00:10:45
dylankite
I think the biggest point, though, is that he did condemn it. He did say, hey, this should not be going on, which is what he should have did.
00:10:49
Jacob Contreras
political violence Yeah.
00:10:49
William Whaley
oh, yeah Yeah, oh
00:10:52
dylankite
Probably shouldn't have taken him two fucking hours to do it. But he did finally come out and say, Hey, this is not what we're about, you know, whatever.
00:10:59
William Whaley
Yeah
00:11:00
Jacob Contreras
Well, they had to wake him up.
00:11:02
dylankite
Well, yeah, that dude, I'm so fucking close to getting care of there because she was like, they're probably trying to drug him up right now, getting him ready.
00:11:02
William Whaley
the the the the the the the the
00:11:10
dylankite
And I'm like, yeah, you're right.
00:11:11
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it hit him with the cocktail. You know what?
00:11:13
William Whaley
yeah hit with that fucking addera dog
00:11:13
Jacob Contreras
i I'm honestly afraid. I'm afraid they're going to kill him. Like, honestly, it's going to be like a Michael Jackson.
00:11:17
William Whaley
yeah know michael jackson i mother
00:11:19
Jacob Contreras
city Yeah, I was like, it is.
00:11:21
dylankite
they
00:11:21
Jacob Contreras
They're going to give him the cocktail.
00:11:22
William Whaley
so
00:11:23
Jacob Contreras
It's going to be a little too strong one day and he's going to fucking go to
00:11:25
William Whaley
yeah
00:11:25
dylankite
the It's like that scene on fucking Dumb and Dumber when they run into his room and they're like, pills are good. Pills are good.
00:11:31
William Whaley
yeah yeah yeah
00:11:32
dylankite
You got to get on stage right now, dude.
00:11:33
Jacob Contreras
ah yeah
00:11:34
dylankite
like Come on.
00:11:36
Jacob Contreras
yeah need that's my i Maybe it's not a concern to them, but to me, that's a big concern, especially with his advanced age. you know like
00:11:44
dylankite
Yeah,
Political Landscape Predictions
00:11:45
dylankite
it's bad. But like all the talk about because, you know, every once in a while they'll ask like the White House reporter, they'll say, hey, like, you know, they'll talk about Biden. And she always says, like, I hope you're asking the other guy the same questions. This motherfucker got shot and he stood up and fucking threw his fist in the air was like, fight like, you know, I'm sorry. Biden gets fucking if it doesn't even hit him, it goes by that motherfuckers out of there.
00:12:09
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I was.
00:12:10
dylankite
But he's done.
00:12:11
William Whaley
I don't even, I don't even know he would even realize that he was a shot.
00:12:14
Jacob Contreras
I'm just saying.
00:12:14
dylankite
No, you probably would have just stood there.
00:12:14
William Whaley
He'd be like, he'd probably like grab his hands. Like, what the fuck is that?
00:12:17
dylankite
Yeah, probably, but dude,
00:12:18
Jacob Contreras
Look, guys, what's more American in a candidate than a guy who's paid off a prostitute allegedly went to prison and now has gotten shot.
00:12:18
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:12:29
dylankite
I'm telling you, I wish I could vote for him a million fucking times.
00:12:30
Jacob Contreras
As a total package, total package. yeah
00:12:35
dylankite
Is no, this is a serious question. Is there any way this motherfucker loses?
00:12:40
William Whaley
but uh...
00:12:41
Jacob Contreras
I mean, I anything's like after after the last election, I don't want to say, you know, like what's possible, what's not, because I went to bed thinking he won.
00:12:42
dylankite
I don't think so.
00:12:42
William Whaley
uh... thing in the air here
00:12:50
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I was like, oh, it's a wrap. You know, we watched it until pretty late in the game. I mean, we were East Coast. So like for us, it was pretty late. And I was I went to bed thinking he won, woke up and I was just like this motherfucker got.
00:13:02
dylankite
i think everybody
00:13:03
Jacob Contreras
millions of votes. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm saying.
00:13:04
William Whaley
the
00:13:04
Jacob Contreras
So like, that's why I was like, anything's possible. What I don't understand it was like, even when they were paper ballots, this shit was turned in, you know, like in county and Now we're supposed to be most secure, like most technologically advanced elections, and it takes forever to count votes.
00:13:14
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:13:21
Jacob Contreras
I don't understand that.
00:13:22
William Whaley
Yeah. Nah, that's not.
00:13:23
Jacob Contreras
But I don't know the process either. Like I you know, like I can't, I'm not an election expert or an election counting expert.
00:13:25
dylankite
I think everybody did. Before this happened, I told Kara, I was like, he's, he can definitely beat Trump.
00:13:29
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:13:34
dylankite
If they replace Biden with somebody that's moderate, it'll be a toss up. Now. I don't think there's anybody you can replace his motherfucker with. I think it's a wrap.
00:13:43
Jacob Contreras
They can't do moderate.
00:13:44
dylankite
It's over.
00:13:44
Jacob Contreras
They can't do moderate.
00:13:45
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:13:45
Jacob Contreras
They've not too far into it. Like, they're too deep into it.
00:13:47
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:13:48
Jacob Contreras
They can't do moderate.
00:13:48
dylankite
Yeah.
00:13:49
William Whaley
Well, I don't know what, what's, what's the super, you know, me at the, I mean, I think they'll just vote because it's Democrat, but you got the, you got the super far left ones that, you know, the Palestinian crew that are basically calling them genocide, Joe and all this.
00:13:49
Jacob Contreras
Nobody-
00:14:04
William Whaley
So like, I mean, yeah.
00:14:04
Jacob Contreras
That's why I'm saying they can't do moderate, because they've appeased too much to that crowd.
00:14:08
Jacob Contreras
And and especially within these like smaller elections, they've appeased too much into it.
00:14:08
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:14:09
William Whaley
So.
00:14:12
Jacob Contreras
That they're too deep. They have to they have to go even further. you know like
00:14:17
dylankite
I think this is going to even, I'm already pulled over.
00:14:18
William Whaley
I can't pull over any further. I'm already over!
00:14:25
dylankite
I think this is going to get like everybody out. Like it's, you know, those small town people that are like, ah, my vote doesn't really matter or whatever. All those people are voting now. Like it's, it's done. ah it I think there's no way.
00:14:37
Jacob Contreras
I don't know. i Honestly, I don't know. I don't know. i don't I do not put the laziness of people past themselves, you know?
00:14:41
William Whaley
Yeah, I'm with you, I'm with you.
00:14:46
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:14:46
dylankite
I don't know, man.
00:14:46
William Whaley
Cause I say I'm gonna, umm I'm gonna vote, but I probably, you know, 100, like I probably just chilled my house.
00:14:52
dylankite
And I saw an ex that he's leaving the hospital to go to the UFC event like that place is going to fucking erupt like.
00:14:59
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:02
dylankite
You get shot in the fucking head and now you're at a UFC event.
00:15:05
William Whaley
this is gonna be like
00:15:05
dylankite
God. empty Dude, the only other thing he has to do is snort a line of coke on live television.
00:15:07
William Whaley
he owe us to
00:15:11
William Whaley
ah
00:15:12
dylankite
He's in.
00:15:12
William Whaley
he's he's
00:15:13
dylankite
He's fucking in there like he's he's a fucking killer.
00:15:14
Jacob Contreras
What if he what if he's just like announces his VP and it's 50 cents?
00:15:18
William Whaley
i would like to yeah
00:15:20
dylankite
It could be.
00:15:20
Jacob Contreras
Hey, man, I'm just yeah kurtis Oh, yeah Dude
00:15:21
William Whaley
ah curtis jackson is like curtis kidti fiftythy said jackson
00:15:25
dylankite
Did you see what 50 Cent tweeted?
00:15:25
William Whaley
my vp
00:15:27
dylankite
He goes, all of a sudden, I'm trending, man. What's
00:15:30
dylankite
up?
00:15:32
William Whaley
he did i said you guys that too yeah the It's I said JFK got hit like me he got hit like I got hit but he fucking breathe I was like good.
00:15:35
Jacob Contreras
I yeah, I was like that that shit would go hard at his next ah rally just many men ah
00:15:45
William Whaley
Yeah, I was like could a yeah ah the internet is Yeah, the
00:15:47
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:15:48
dylankite
That's fucking savage.
00:15:48
Jacob Contreras
um
00:15:50
dylankite
I did not see that, but I'm here for it.
00:15:50
Jacob Contreras
and It's so quick.
00:15:53
William Whaley
I fucking could say is that it was that it was like his face photoshopped on 50 cent get Richard I tried and then under it some dude commented it said JFK got hit like I got hit but he ain't fucking breathe and I said Yeah
00:15:53
Jacob Contreras
It's so quick, too.
00:15:59
dylankite
Damn.
00:16:02
Jacob Contreras
it
00:16:05
dylankite
That's crazy.
00:16:05
Jacob Contreras
Dude, that shit, it just goes hard.
00:16:06
dylankite
god did The internet is undefeated.
00:16:06
William Whaley
um
00:16:08
Jacob Contreras
like
00:16:09
William Whaley
the the the
00:16:11
dylankite
That's wild.
00:16:18
William Whaley
like yeah i couldnt believe it yeah
00:16:19
Jacob Contreras
That's what I'm saying.
00:16:20
dylankite
Oh, man.
00:16:20
Jacob Contreras
when they When they drop, yeah, like, hey, somebody, you know, send us a link. I'm going to get some merch.
00:16:26
William Whaley
it
00:16:27
dylankite
Yeah, somebody's already got that on T-shirt guarantee.
00:16:30
William Whaley
oh For sure. Yeah. Well fucking barstool.
00:16:32
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, he would say importantly. and Yeah.
00:16:34
William Whaley
Yeah barstool put out the one where it just was like I think he just says fight a fight fight or whatever like and it's like Trump being like Carried away with it. It's like it's already it's a I got a onesie
00:16:44
dylankite
I've already ordered six.
00:16:45
Jacob Contreras
So and you know what's You know, what's funny is I did see, you know, one of our former, uh, buddies over at one 12th. Uh, I don't know if you guys remember, uh, Villerama.
00:16:57
dylankite
Mm-hmm.
00:16:58
Jacob Contreras
His buddy apparently is the one who took that photo of Trump with the secret service and the the hand raised up.
00:17:05
William Whaley
oh No way a copyright that or something.
00:17:05
Jacob Contreras
I forget his name, but I was like, damn, that, that is, that is a resume.
00:17:06
dylankite
Whoa.
00:17:09
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:17:09
William Whaley
that Yeah me Media yeah It's already too late.
00:17:09
Jacob Contreras
I was like, that's that's exactly what I'm saying. I was like, I look, I don't know who that you were there shooting on behalf of or whatever, but you, you need to watermark that immediately. Like, I i mean, it's already, too it's already out there, but like, yeah, but like he's getting, yeah.
00:17:18
dylankite
For sure.
00:17:20
William Whaley
Yeah, I mean you gotta be the first I'm sure you'll get some sort of like residual.
00:17:20
dylankite
Yeah.
00:17:23
dylankite
I mean, it it'll be in a textbook someday.
00:17:24
William Whaley
I don't know. I don't know how it works, but True yeah
00:17:25
Jacob Contreras
That's what I'm saying. I was like, if y'all are using my photos, like, hey, pass some money, because that's a big one.
00:17:32
dylankite
Yeah, he missed his vote on that, but that picture is going to be out there.
00:17:32
William Whaley
Yeah. That's just wild, dude. It's a fucking wild day, dude. Uh, you know, yeah, yeah.
00:17:37
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:17:37
dylankite
It's.
Merchandise Ideas & Social Media Impact
00:17:40
William Whaley
Um, and I mean, another.
00:17:40
dylankite
The only thing that would make it more wild is if somehow I went upstairs after this and I got a little hock to it, but I fucking doubt it.
00:17:48
Jacob Contreras
ah
00:17:51
William Whaley
Yeah. I mean, ah if I could, you know, bet the over-under on that, ah I'm really under for sure.
00:17:57
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, hammer the hunter.
00:18:00
dylankite
Yeah, but that in the ender like that one dollar gets you like five cents.
00:18:01
Jacob Contreras
You bet it probably you're only gonna get a dollar or spend back, yeah.
00:18:03
William Whaley
but
00:18:06
Jacob Contreras
The odds are not good on that bet.
00:18:07
William Whaley
the The odds are not good yeah you're right And um I think that's plus 10,000 here and the conversations we had so yeah, good luck, buddy Yeah
00:18:09
dylankite
That's one of those bets where you bet the over.
00:18:09
Jacob Contreras
It's like those people who bet like two million, yeah.
00:18:11
dylankite
Yeah, you you bet a dollar over and you get like $500 back. yeah but
00:18:17
Jacob Contreras
Oh yeah.
00:18:19
dylankite
she
00:18:19
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah.
00:18:25
dylankite
Oh, man.
00:18:25
Jacob Contreras
yeah I just don't see it going down.
00:18:26
dylankite
Yeah, we live in a wild world, man. Something crazy like that happens and people are still divided. It's crazy, man.
00:18:33
William Whaley
Yeah, no, I mean, yeah Yeah, they he said yeah, yeah
00:18:35
Jacob Contreras
Well, it I mean, like I said, people don't believe it or they believe it was staged or, you know, whatever. But it it was funny. The other part of that is ah I saw the Hillary memes like picking up her phone. Is it done?
00:18:46
dylankite
Yeah.
00:18:47
William Whaley
I saw that he said say what do you mean he missed I said I said Yeah, they they specialize in ah suicides though, so Yeah, that's not her fault.
00:18:47
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:18:51
dylankite
See, I must have stopped looking too soon because I didn't catch all the memes.
00:18:54
Jacob Contreras
Oh, dude, it's... and Yeah, that's how I was like, look, man, they're they're trying to step the game up, you know, like, hey, she's trying to sneak back in there as a last-minute candidate, you know.
00:18:58
dylankite
Yeah, that's true. It's not really her MO.
00:19:01
William Whaley
Yeah
00:19:06
William Whaley
yeah Yeah.
00:19:07
dylankite
She's trying to be the Republican candidate.
00:19:07
William Whaley
like
00:19:12
William Whaley
it Fucking mine as well, man. She's trying to start some more wars, dude.
00:19:16
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, like...
00:19:16
dylankite
Yeah.
00:19:16
William Whaley
but Jesus Christ.
00:19:20
dylankite
then
00:19:20
William Whaley
But in other news, though, I mean, we'll we'll circle back around this. I mean, this is a hot topic, hot button item. But I mean, I'd be remissed not ah you know mentioning that ah You know kites idol growing up, uh, richard simmons died today at the age of 76 So he died Richard simmons that sweating to the oldies
00:19:39
dylankite
He did?
00:19:39
Jacob Contreras
You know what? Yeah, I saw somebody say something. I was like, RIP. I didn't understand the reference. I was like, what is going on? You know, like, cause it was, it was, it was no, but it was caught all
00:19:46
dylankite
What a bad day.
Pigeon Forge Reflections
00:19:50
Jacob Contreras
in the Trump storm.
00:19:51
William Whaley
Yeah, yeah Yeah yeah At least
00:19:51
Jacob Contreras
I was like, well, random, you know, like it was like a footnote.
00:19:52
dylankite
What a bad day to die. you know like He should have held on for at least three more hours. you know
00:19:59
William Whaley
But I'm saying 76 man 76 is pretty it's pretty pretty young right and he was like a He was like a workout dude like a Jack LaLanne But Jack LaLanne was like old-school workout dude, and I mean I do live to like almost a hundred I mean I think really you know the I Know AIDS will catch up to you Too many dicks in the butt boys i don't know
00:20:00
Jacob Contreras
Or let go earlier. Workout dude.
00:20:15
dylankite
Was he a workout dude though?
00:20:16
Jacob Contreras
Hey man, eight AIDS will catch up to you though.
00:20:17
dylankite
Like he never looked.
00:20:21
dylankite
yeah Hey, too much of a good thing, you know.
00:20:25
Jacob Contreras
I actually don't know what he died of, so.
00:20:27
William Whaley
a i
00:20:32
Jacob Contreras
The cocktail came a little late, you know, like. yeah and No, it was too advanced.
00:20:34
William Whaley
Hey God or he didn't have the money like magic. So he is fuck Oh That that or Richard Simmons was just a giant fraud I Mean, here's a hot take he didn't really sweat to the oldies They sweat to the young guys
00:20:38
Jacob Contreras
That's what I'm saying. So zena yeah, I got to assume Richard Simmons was doing alright.
00:20:40
dylankite
Yeah, he should have got back in it.
00:20:49
dylankite
yeah
00:20:50
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, you know, yeah.
00:20:54
Jacob Contreras
No, you know. Yeah, it's possible, it's possible.
00:20:57
William Whaley
ah sustain I Mean it's big deal big deal Richard Simmons gone RP um Just like ah Trump's top of his right ear. RIP. I shake up. I say gone like holy fields, dude Did
00:21:09
Jacob Contreras
Hey, him and Evander just taking a picture together with the fucking, I think Evander got his like sewn back though.
00:21:13
dylankite
Yeah. Yeah.
00:21:16
dylankite
you You know.
00:21:17
Jacob Contreras
I think so.
00:21:17
William Whaley
i Know I know he I know I know fucking old Mike Tyson Hawk two of that into the first front first few rows, bro I'm pretty sure I don't think he I don't think they said that yeah, I don't think they said that motherfucker back up.
00:21:22
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, and I would be watching that up. I'd have that in formaldehyde.
00:21:29
dylankite
You know, and Trump being the guy he is, as soon as he got back to the hospital, he was like, Hey, what do we do about this?
00:21:29
William Whaley
i think got
00:21:35
dylankite
So like, I guarantee it's some kind of surgical shit going on or something.
00:21:38
William Whaley
or or barely naked if you see is like response that he said I knew it
Games & Political Humor
00:21:44
William Whaley
when there was blood everywhere I knew something was wrong or so but I was just like I said my man oh yeah yeah
00:21:47
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, because you did see him grab and then kind of like take it.
00:21:49
dylankite
Yeah.
00:21:51
dylankite
I saw a picture that somebody I don't know if this is true, but there was like a bullet hole in his chest, too. Obviously, he was wearing a bulletproof vest. So I don't know because it kind of makes sense because he he reached up and then he kind of went down as if he took us, you know, took a little took his right away or something.
00:22:10
William Whaley
did what it what does anybody know what caliber this guy was using i bet he was using like a fucking twenty-two or something ah fucking wckass motherfu it's a ahead it's ahead about twenty-two ah twenty-two at a certain distance at a certain distance it becomes pretty yeah it'll especially if it's a headshot it'll it'll plume and stuff like ahead oh yeah if he took one in the head i mean
00:22:11
Jacob Contreras
I don't know. Yeah.
00:22:11
dylankite
I don't know.
00:22:12
Jacob Contreras
I didn't see that. No. Yeah. yeah That's how I was like, it was, it was too, it was quiet. Like that's why I was, I imagine.
00:22:20
dylankite
I doubt it. I doubt it for that one dude to take one round in the head and he's done. I feel like a 22 from that distance.
00:22:24
Jacob Contreras
Well, so it'll, it'll still take them. Yeah.
00:22:38
William Whaley
ah
00:22:38
dylankite
Definitely being a liberal, he doesn't know what he's doing.
00:22:41
William Whaley
the fifth and fifth
00:22:41
dylankite
I don't know.
00:22:46
dylankite
Some people were saying like BB gun was trending for a while and I was like, uh, even from that distance, like a BB gun don't sound like that.
00:22:46
Jacob Contreras
We're just going to play the odds.
00:22:56
William Whaley
and baby gun doesn't kill kill you when you hit it
00:22:57
dylankite
That's how it's okay. I was like, BB guns, like tos it's not like, boom.
00:23:01
William Whaley
yeah
00:23:01
Jacob Contreras
ah Yeah, I don't know if a mic's going to pick that one up.
00:23:04
William Whaley
yeah I'd love to yeah, I'd love to see like caliber. I mean there's just so much that it's wild.
00:23:10
Jacob Contreras
There's got to be a manifesto.
00:23:11
William Whaley
It's fucking wild Yeah, it is fucking wild well
00:23:12
Jacob Contreras
Release the manifesto.
00:23:14
dylankite
Yeah.
00:23:14
Jacob Contreras
you know
00:23:15
dylankite
You know they're raiding his house right now, so I understand they don't release his identity to immediately immediatelyite because they're probably raiding his house going through all his emails, text messages, phone calls, everything.
00:23:23
William Whaley
Well, they they probably had to like search everywhere just to get his identity because the word on the street is Like homeboy got his fucking top block. He's like it's fucking the sniper team took it out took his head off like it literally Yeah, that dude would say yeah, he said he's a gas solid.
00:23:32
Jacob Contreras
Oh yeah.
00:23:34
dylankite
Yeah. Well, that's what that dude said.
00:23:35
Jacob Contreras
I imagine...
00:23:36
dylankite
He said he got his head blown off.
00:23:39
William Whaley
Yes This fucking head is gone but yeah What do you think probably like a Remington like like 700 or something like that's like standard
00:23:39
dylankite
Yeah.
00:23:42
dylankite
Well, you saw that sniper rifle they used. It was, I don't know if it was a 50 cal or what, but it was a pretty big boy.
00:23:47
Jacob Contreras
It could be six and a half Creedmoor too.
00:23:49
dylankite
That was something. Yeah.
00:23:52
William Whaley
Yeah, it could be yeah, I don't know it took the fucking motherfuckers face off apparently is what the guy said so he said yeah, so All from the sniper rifle yeah, you probably just Google that yeah Yeah
00:23:56
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:23:57
dylankite
Well, you saw when the secret service dude shot it, you could see the recoil. So the recoil got it.
00:24:02
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah, yeah, it got him.
00:24:03
dylankite
So it had to be heavy. It had to be heavy round. So I don't know. Yeah.
00:24:09
Jacob Contreras
yeah when Yeah, when they showed the video, he he did get like, yeah, but the video was too grainy for me to make it out. I'm sure internet expert will tell me.
00:24:17
William Whaley
Well, I mean I you should probably could just look it up like what what you know sniper rifle do you know so your service use like Whatever they prefer Yeah, yeah, no, I mean it's just fucking wild yeah, I Thought he took his I thought I thought he took his hat off
00:24:17
dylankite
yeah
00:24:23
Jacob Contreras
Well, but that's, that's the thing. Like a lot of them could just be using their own or, you know, like, uh, there's even police departments, police departments, like they'll have specific manufacturers built or make guns for them or whatever. Goddamn height. That screen got bright as fuck. What are you doing?
00:24:42
dylankite
Now is crazy at times.
00:24:43
Jacob Contreras
I know.
00:24:45
William Whaley
the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the
00:24:47
Jacob Contreras
That's just shining.
00:24:51
dylankite
Should we go into Pigeon Forge?
00:24:52
William Whaley
yeah ah we can but let's like let's talk about this man's dirty sanchez i mean is this the ode to your heritage and so with that booger wolff my man
00:25:00
Jacob Contreras
yeah so ah
00:25:02
dylankite
Even the hair looks like back.
00:25:02
Jacob Contreras
it so
00:25:03
dylankite
The hair is slicked back a little bit too.
00:25:04
Jacob Contreras
honour when So my last deployment 2019, for the last four months I was there, I just let a nasty mustache grow.
00:25:04
William Whaley
what's but so what's on with that dick guster son ah so
00:25:13
William Whaley
You were gay, okay, hi tight, tight, yeah.
00:25:15
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, totally. ah ah So I like a four month mustache and I came home and it was ridiculous.
00:25:17
William Whaley
It's not gay when your boots are on.
00:25:22
Jacob Contreras
It was just I would get laughed at in VTCs, you know, like the the S6 would just crack up every time I saw it. So it was just funny. My daughter loved it. Loved it. And always asked me to grow out another mustache and it's like, just random like times.
00:25:37
William Whaley
Who live?
00:25:37
Jacob Contreras
So yeah, yeah, Liv loved it. So, uh, I told her, I was like, I'm on leave. I just got back. I'll start growing it out. You know, like, and she left today. So she moved to Texas today, uh, with, to stay with my parents while we. kind of transition and get out of here.
00:25:52
William Whaley
Yeah, yeah.
00:25:53
Jacob Contreras
So I told her I was like, while I'm on leave, I'll grow out a mustache. So this is my last day of having the stash. I told her I was like, I'm going to shave it tonight. But yeah, it's we didn't do any episodes. So no one has seen it.
00:26:05
William Whaley
Yeah, yeah, that's wild. I mean, I don't know.
00:26:08
dylankite
You might as well keep it rolling.
00:26:08
William Whaley
I wouldn't. Yeah. Well, you'd have to trim it up back to the corners.
00:26:11
Jacob Contreras
ah Well, I'd have to trim it up too much.
00:26:12
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:26:12
Jacob Contreras
And it yeah, I was like, that's that's the problem with the mustache and the military. Well, at least me, because I always feel like I cut one side short and then I'm like, um it's got to go.
00:26:22
dylankite
Honestly, the problem is the edges, because I can grow mine too, but when you cut the edges, it just doesn't look right.
00:26:23
William Whaley
um So when it went It just doesn't look right it looks like a half Hitler like it fucking weird um I'll leave it sometimes especially cuz mine's all dirty and blonde.
00:26:27
Jacob Contreras
yeah Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It takes a bite out of it. I was like.
00:26:30
dylankite
Yeah.
00:26:33
dylankite
Yeah.
00:26:36
William Whaley
It looked fucking looks gross So it's a fuck with you.
00:26:38
dylankite
Hitler ruined it for everybody, dude.
00:26:40
William Whaley
He did he really did You could do it.
00:26:40
Jacob Contreras
And I know I really thought no one thought the lasting ramifications of.
00:26:43
William Whaley
You could do a Gomez you do a Gomez Yeah, you could get like a little pencil like yeah, just like a little pencil and just do make sure you get all
00:26:46
Jacob Contreras
yeah Yeah, I could do. I could do a pretty mean Gomez. Yeah. Yeah.
00:26:53
dylankite
We need somebody famous to bring the Hitler back.
00:26:53
William Whaley
wind up yeah yeah it's
00:26:56
Jacob Contreras
ah But who's going to do it? who Who would be the one? Like, I just don't know.
00:27:00
dylankite
Nobody's ballsy enough.
00:27:01
Jacob Contreras
That's what I'm saying. But like, it's got to be somebody with a big personality and I just don't know who's going to do it.
00:27:05
dylankite
I think the only person big enough to actually pull it off would be like Dwayne, the rock Johnson, somebody i like that.
00:27:11
Jacob Contreras
ah Dude, that's hilarious because I was thinking The Rock. Like, honestly, I was like, it's got to be universal, dude.
00:27:14
dylankite
Yeah. The rock because he's got like, I'm pretty sure he has like the biggest following on Instagram.
00:27:16
William Whaley
gotta be it's got a poc yeah person of color i got it
00:27:18
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah.
00:27:21
dylankite
So if he did it, he would trim it enough because even now like we call it the Hitler, right? So it had to be somebody huge.
00:27:27
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:27:29
Jacob Contreras
With a single name too, like, yeah, yeah.
00:27:29
William Whaley
Well, speaking of Hitler though. um You know those good people on both sides. I was just kidding.
00:27:37
Jacob Contreras
ah
00:27:40
William Whaley
I was watching some old, uh, door big dado clips and he goes, I think he was all like fucking Conan again.
00:27:40
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:27:47
William Whaley
And he's like, you know, back of the day. And he goes, yeah, yeah, yeah. The Hitler guy, the more I learned about him, uh, uh, the less I like him.
00:27:56
Jacob Contreras
wow
00:27:57
dylankite
Yeah, it's a pretty good ideas.
00:27:58
William Whaley
it's so
00:28:01
William Whaley
yeah
00:28:05
William Whaley
No way. Oh, fuck no. I mean, some of them is like, nah.
00:28:08
dylankite
Hey, he turned that economy around, man.
00:28:12
Jacob Contreras
Hey man, they were struggling after World War I.
00:28:15
dylankite
Yeah.
00:28:15
Jacob Contreras
They were, they were, I was like, yeah a little bit.
00:28:17
William Whaley
but Wasn't it because he stole everything from the Jews?
00:28:22
William Whaley
I love it.
00:28:22
dylankite
Fuck him.
00:28:25
William Whaley
Good God.
00:28:25
dylankite
You don know how it's common knowledge that, uh, after world war two, a lot of Nazis went to Argentina, you know, that's like common knowledge.
00:28:31
Jacob Contreras
Yes.
00:28:32
William Whaley
Yeah, that's why they all look white.
00:28:32
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:33
dylankite
I did not know this until today. Thank you. Instagram. After the civil war, like a hundred thousand Confederates went to Americana, Brazil.
00:28:40
William Whaley
Oh yeah. With the Brazil.
00:28:44
dylankite
Yeah.
00:28:44
William Whaley
Brazil. They created and called American.
00:28:44
dylankite
And every year they have a Confederate ceremony and they lay their, I didn't know that all the people there.
00:28:47
William Whaley
Yeah. Yeah. A lot of, a lot of them went back though.
00:28:50
dylankite
in the
00:28:51
William Whaley
Did you, do you know that? A lot, like ah over a hundred.
00:28:52
Jacob Contreras
That's...
00:28:53
dylankite
Yes, it happened back.
00:28:53
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:28:54
dylankite
yeah Yeah.
00:28:54
William Whaley
About half a half, half left and went, went home cause they're like, fuck this shit.
00:28:58
dylankite
They were like, hey.
00:28:58
Jacob Contreras
This place fucking sucks!
00:28:59
William Whaley
It's too hot. The same for us whites.
00:29:01
dylankite
when i yeah What I read, they were like picking this cot is harder than it looks, man.
00:29:10
William Whaley
it said damn because they got there like a slavery they're like nope' like we had it back
00:29:18
dylankite
But they gave it a shot. like
00:29:20
William Whaley
they gave it they gave it the old college try i guess
00:29:22
dylankite
The old college drive.
00:29:23
Jacob Contreras
But that that's what's crazy. I was like, I know everybody thinks the Civil War was strictly over slavery, but it really wasn't. it like There was a lot of industry.
00:29:31
dylankite
It depends on who you talk to. I learned this the hard way.
00:29:32
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah, but yeah. well ah
00:29:35
dylankite
Yeah.
00:29:36
Jacob Contreras
that That became the issue, you know, like obviously, but, ah or like what we're taught, you know, that's what's funny though.
00:29:37
dylankite
Yeah, because.
00:29:37
William Whaley
they said that because they got there like a will also agree that I know that we had it back up up up up up up
00:29:43
Jacob Contreras
A lot of the stuff like you were taught, it's like, well, it was a little bit different. Like, or there's the, all these little things that certain textbooks focused on and stuff like that.
00:29:48
dylankite
Yeah.
00:29:50
William Whaley
nuances yet link
00:29:51
Jacob Contreras
yeah You know, it's like, no,
00:29:52
dylankite
So my first recruiting assignment, I lived in, Will knows this, I lived in Lancaster. If you're from there, they call it Lancaster, whatever.
00:30:01
William Whaley
is for old old shit old years old shit chairman neighbor
00:30:01
dylankite
it It looks like Lancaster, Ohio, which is where, which is where General Sherman's from, right?
00:30:04
Jacob Contreras
it is Lancaster. It's just a bunch of local.
00:30:09
dylankite
That old faggot, but, um, the guy that burned out Atlanta.
00:30:10
William Whaley
now that he's he's just he's a he's upset that he burnt Atlanta like he's still rooting for losers over here
00:30:12
Jacob Contreras
yeah Yeah, well, a little gay over there.
00:30:14
dylankite
Oh. So you talk to people, I learned the hard way. You talk to people from Ohio and they believe it was over slavery. Um, in the South, you're taught differently. You're taught that it was over States rights, right?
00:30:28
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:30:28
dylankite
Like the people fighting in the South thought they were fighting the second revolution for like, you know, independence and freedom and everything. Um, but yeah, people up there, they think it's just over slavery and whatever. Everybody's taught something different, I guess, but yeah, I learned that the hard way.
00:30:43
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, well, people didn't know that Rosa Parks' husband had a car and it was a staged protest.
00:30:47
William Whaley
car
00:30:48
Jacob Contreras
Like, you know, like what it is.
00:30:48
William Whaley
yeah
00:30:49
dylankite
I didn't know that.
00:30:51
William Whaley
yeah i was she's in and acp
00:30:51
Jacob Contreras
ah yeah ah Yeah. Yeah. It was like she was chosen to protest.
00:30:55
William Whaley
he was like a member yeah
00:30:56
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. Yeah. Like it was it not, it was all set up.
00:30:59
William Whaley
but bar i mean yeah it was butre yeah
00:31:00
Jacob Contreras
Like, yeah, it might but it it is still, yeah, it was, it was not any less impactful.
00:31:03
dylankite
Why you at the bus, bitch?
00:31:05
Jacob Contreras
Exactly. I was like, Hey, you're a beat, your deadbeat husband doesn't want to give you a ride.
00:31:10
William Whaley
I Love that was it was a fucking Joe Buds fucking podcast or whatever.
00:31:12
Jacob Contreras
but
00:31:15
William Whaley
They're like ah the internet is an uproar Cuz everybody found out that Rosa Parks husband had a car like what dude just like just took his head set off and I walked out he just like That's pretty buddy I was like, yeah, yeah Well, got the big yeah it gets it gets the ball rolling
00:31:26
Jacob Contreras
Well, I've never seen that. That's funny.
00:31:31
dylankite
you know Yeah, whatever makes it in the history books.
00:31:35
Jacob Contreras
That's what I'm saying. Everything's just a little bit different than what is, you know, like what you're taught or something like that.
00:31:39
William Whaley
yeah Yeah.
00:31:41
Jacob Contreras
I was like, Hey.
00:31:41
dylankite
Well, that's what's crazy at looking at history in general.
00:31:43
dylankite
like We don't know. you know like Everybody in Rome has conquered.
00:31:47
Jacob Contreras
No, we have a, we have ideas or like who tells us, you know, like, yeah.
00:31:48
William Whaley
Well, yeah, yeah, to the yeah, like I said, victory.
00:31:51
dylankite
like All their shit was gone. like What really happened?
00:31:53
William Whaley
Yeah, Vic, yeah, literally like, yeah, the victors write history. Like they're like, yeah, and we, we saved all, we, we saved all.
00:31:57
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, there's always three sides to it.
00:31:57
dylankite
Yeah.
00:31:58
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, the the winner or the victor, the loser and the truth.
00:32:01
William Whaley
Yeah. We saved all these people. And then it's like, like you really did yeah really did didn't save anybody fucking Well, as I said, I was just like, I was like, well, everybody's like, well, you know, America. And I was like, well, we really didn't do, I mean, I'm sure there is a lot of truth bending in a lot of different areas, but like, for the most part, like they just not give a fucking enough about like the natives that they were like, yeah, we're not good. We're not going to share code in this. We, we just fucking, we massacred them.
00:32:28
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I was like, they didn't stand a chance.
00:32:29
William Whaley
They were in the way and I was like, God damn dude, they, you know, they got a sugar coat and that shit.
00:32:29
dylankite
Well,
00:32:32
William Whaley
you really did.
00:32:32
Jacob Contreras
ah yes sir
00:32:33
William Whaley
You really did. You didn't save anybody.
00:32:33
Jacob Contreras
exactly
00:32:36
William Whaley
Like, They were just like,
00:32:36
Jacob Contreras
They're out here chucking spears.
00:32:38
William Whaley
yeah fucking fucking cuard just fuckingin you know fucking massacred everybody like ah damn
00:32:39
Jacob Contreras
the
00:32:43
dylankite
I made a joke about that when we rode through Cherokee, because when you ride through Cherokee, um, there's a big gold mine there where you can pay him for gold.
00:32:48
William Whaley
of course
00:32:51
dylankite
And I took care. I was like, it's kind of ironic. People coming up here, paying for gold. That's kind of what lost in this whole area to begin with. but
00:32:57
William Whaley
but good Yeah,
00:32:59
Jacob Contreras
all it's gonna take is a couple big finds and it's like oh yeah hey we did yeah we ran some lidar through one of our aircrafts and we noticed that you guys have a little bit of a oil deposit did you guys are
00:33:00
dylankite
All right.
00:33:02
William Whaley
yeah
00:33:04
dylankite
Y'all gotta go.
00:33:04
William Whaley
the idea that the U.S. government just like shuts it down like, yeah, we're going to need all this back.
00:33:14
William Whaley
Let's see. All A little lithium over here.
00:33:15
dylankite
yeah Not a big deal, but we're gonna need that.
00:33:19
Jacob Contreras
ah There's a there's a little bit of lithium and cobalt under this land We're gonna need y'all to kind of move down the road a little bit.
00:33:20
William Whaley
A little bolt over here. Yeah. i want yeah we're gonna have to
00:33:26
Jacob Contreras
I say we just push them all into Canada Yeah, we just don't like the term internment camp like you but yeah
00:33:28
William Whaley
we're not we're not we're not goingnna it's not called her reservation it's just we're gonna so you ands gonna move you to the left a little bits
00:33:35
dylankite
Wasn't it like...
00:33:35
William Whaley
ah they all this <unk>
00:33:39
dylankite
I want to say it was Bush or something where he accidentally told the truth at one time, where he was in like a press conference and he said something like, don't worry, we got the oil. And they're like, what?
00:33:48
William Whaley
Yeah,
00:33:48
dylankite
What about the W?
00:33:51
William Whaley
I think now he and what was that?
00:33:53
dylankite
Oh,
00:33:53
William Whaley
There was that one thing that he did Yeah, well he said now he said that during like a Kennedy dinner thing or something where he was making a joke Like I was like I laughed but I mean, it's not all that funny either Now why don't you try I was like do you I mean he seems like a chill person to do coke with I guess
00:33:54
Jacob Contreras
That's the Chappelle's kit.
00:33:56
dylankite
I know that.
00:34:04
dylankite
You gotta love Bush. Yeah, especially him on the drive and he's like, we're going to get the terrace. Now watch this drive.
00:34:13
Jacob Contreras
if That was the same thing.
00:34:15
dylankite
that's a Oh, a hundred percent.
00:34:15
Jacob Contreras
That was the same thing Donald did though. He's like, you think Joe could do that? I don't think so.
00:34:19
William Whaley
yeah
00:34:21
dylankite
A hundred percent.
00:34:22
William Whaley
Yeah, that was that was that was embarrassing.
00:34:23
dylankite
I do. W W I guarantee you W's done.
00:34:25
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:34:25
William Whaley
Yeah. yeah
00:34:28
dylankite
He's done his fair share of eight polls, you know?
00:34:30
William Whaley
yeah
00:34:30
Jacob Contreras
Oh, without a doubt. I mean, you don't, you you're not a male cheerleader in college and not doing coke.
00:34:36
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:34:36
dylankite
Was he a male cheerleader?
00:34:38
Jacob Contreras
Yes, dude.
00:34:38
dylankite
See, it I didn't even know that part, dude.
00:34:42
Jacob Contreras
It's common knowledge.
00:34:42
dylankite
Weird.
00:34:43
William Whaley
Yeah, it's I think it's pretty common, and then it was like in the National Guard or Coast Guard or some shit.
00:34:50
dylankite
Yeah, I want to say it was either Coast Guard or Navy Reserve or something like that.
00:34:54
William Whaley
i don't know
00:34:54
dylankite
It was like a pilot or something.
00:34:56
William Whaley
Fuck I mean, I don't like any of them to be honest with you.
00:34:59
Jacob Contreras
yeah Yeah, you know um yeah ah the best thing about him is he's from Texas It was not a golden time Yeah, but like Nolan was like a Texas boy like he was gonna be playing it was either the Rangers or the Astros and
00:34:59
William Whaley
I'll just keep it 100 Yeah, I guess he owned the Rangers for a little bit Well, I mean it really it really not all the time like I mean they had Nolan I as
00:35:25
Jacob Contreras
Like that's that's the bulk of his career.
00:35:27
William Whaley
Yeah. Yeah. All all right.
00:35:31
dylankite
I saw a video of him the other day like 80 years old still throwing like 89 miles per hour.
00:35:32
William Whaley
I don't know if I got the bees.
00:35:36
Jacob Contreras
du Well, and they they kind of talk about him a little, you know, like where they used to measure, uh, speed from the mound was different.
00:35:36
dylankite
I was like God damn
00:35:42
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:35:44
Jacob Contreras
So they, they kind of did like a backwards math and they were saying he would throw this hard if we were measuring from the, you know, cause they, they would measure closer to the plate, not from the release, uh, in terms of well, yeah, like, yeah.
00:35:47
William Whaley
No, no. Yeah.
00:35:54
William Whaley
Exactly. Well, it's not it's not from the release. It's they they measure it halfway They measure it halfway now and back in the day.
00:35:59
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. So.
00:36:01
William Whaley
They it was right before the ball crossed the plate Yeah, I know it did this
00:36:04
Jacob Contreras
So that's that's what they're trying to say. Like, ah you know, he might have actually thrown harder than what we believe, you know, but.
00:36:09
William Whaley
well they They they did the math and he did they said ah ah He threw a hundred and eight.
00:36:12
Jacob Contreras
Well, yeah, if that if that's the case.
00:36:14
William Whaley
Yeah, he threw a hundred and eight miles an hour and that's not even the most impressive part That's not even the most impressive part.
00:36:17
Jacob Contreras
That boy was just Bill different. He was Bill different, yeah.
00:36:21
William Whaley
It was in the eighth inning and he had pitched eight innings was at the end of the game That's the most impressive.
00:36:22
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it was at the end of the game.
00:36:27
William Whaley
He was throwing 108 after pitching the eight like he pitched a full game.
00:36:27
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. Well.
00:36:31
William Whaley
That's nuts dude.
00:36:31
Jacob Contreras
and I think we've seen that, like, recently we've seen that with Verlander too.
00:36:32
William Whaley
That's like a while
00:36:35
Jacob Contreras
He just loses a little control when he was thrown later, but he was thrown harder late in the games than he was at the beginning. um and I mean, that was a few years ago.
00:36:42
dylankite
I'm just so happy to finally have Megan on the podcast.
00:36:47
William Whaley
to
00:36:50
Jacob Contreras
What?
00:36:50
dylankite
That t-shirt.
00:36:52
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah. God, dude.
00:36:56
Jacob Contreras
That is a ridiculous fit. Yeah, that's a ridiculous fit.
00:36:56
William Whaley
Yeah, I will like yeah, she did she talked out of the part I thought it was hilarious and then she did She did the shit on the back and I'm like damn I was like I'd i'd wear this more often like but like on the back It's just says like happy happy anniversary So I told her we gotta to figure out how the how to iron it off cuz I'll rock this like two parties and shit Alright, it's a nice.
00:37:05
Jacob Contreras
Oh, it is hilarious. If you just didn't have the, yeah.
00:37:20
dylankite
Yeah.
00:37:20
Jacob Contreras
I'd be like, have you seen my person?
00:37:22
William Whaley
It's a nice Hawaiian. Yeah
00:37:23
Jacob Contreras
Have you seen my person?
00:37:25
William Whaley
and where is bit yeah
00:37:25
dylankite
Yeah.
00:37:26
William Whaley
but wait
00:37:29
dylankite
I'm looking for my Uber driver, where's she at?
00:37:29
William Whaley
yeah yeah or is yeah so I need her to call the uber so ah my my uber rating stays at five stars and hers continues to decline
00:37:31
Jacob Contreras
let's just
00:37:39
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:37:40
dylankite
I remember that one day she was so upset about that, this is what I don't have any storms.
00:37:42
William Whaley
but
00:37:48
Jacob Contreras
Hell yeah.
00:37:49
William Whaley
I was like I looked at my I was like my uber rate is five stars as she looked at hers hers was like three years I like that she's like she cuz you get drunk and you make me call it Hey, I
00:37:51
Jacob Contreras
I'm sorry, baby.
00:38:01
dylankite
Tough shit.
00:38:03
Jacob Contreras
yes yeah yeah I want the uber profile on the divorce.
00:38:04
William Whaley
got us here Yeah, right you can't have it oh
00:38:09
Jacob Contreras
but
00:38:12
dylankite
Everybody was commenting on it in Tennessee though. They loved it.
00:38:14
William Whaley
Yeah, they love the yes we get a pigeon for Jenna
00:38:15
Jacob Contreras
And it's freaking hilarious.
00:38:17
William Whaley
Yeah. So, uh, uh, Bo Nix is not a country singer. Uh, I found that out.
00:38:21
dylankite
Yeah.
00:38:22
William Whaley
So a little quick background story. So I'm like texting him. I'm like, Hey, cause we went down the, um, the day or two days before, or no, the day before we went down the third, they were, they were still gonna still planning on coming in the morning of the fourth, um, Thursday. So we we get down there Wednesday, you know, we're getting set up. i'm I'm signing in to the site and everything like that, getting the camper all set up. And I hear these people talking they're like, oh, yeah at the you know, they do this free concert At Patriot Park. It's called it was like just Patriot festival whatever um on the 4th of July like fireworks the whole nine and I Swear to God this lady said oh um The country singer
00:39:06
William Whaley
is bonis i'm like i've heard above nicks like ah they right yeah ah so i i was like ah yeah so like that's what i heard i don't know if she said it or whatever and but that's what i heard so i text kind of said all cool like hey man i you know i you know i don't really give a shit because i don't listen that type of country like But like this might you know, this might get your dick hard like, you know, Bo Nix is gonna be at the ah Performing at the ah at the Patriot festival the festival or whatever and he goes Bo Nix He said the quarterback for Oregon.
00:39:10
Jacob Contreras
Time out the quarterback.
00:39:40
William Whaley
I said damn. That's where I heard that name from I said, oh, yeah the all the oh i was like the old I said, yeah the old Auburn fucking quarterback and he goes, what is he gonna be out there throwing passes?
00:39:43
Jacob Contreras
You're like, he does sound familiar.
00:39:51
dylankite
Yeah, I was so confused. I was like, is there a flag football game?
00:39:54
William Whaley
but you He's like he's just like these little make-a-wish kids in wheelchairs.
00:39:56
dylankite
Yeah,
00:39:59
William Whaley
Like yeah, you read it run a fucking skinny post dude like now so so Joe Nichols, you know nickels tequila makes their clothes fall off or whatever.
00:40:02
dylankite
yeah it turns out it was Joe Nichols.
00:40:03
Jacob Contreras
you
00:40:09
Jacob Contreras
Oh yeah, like that sounds familiar.
00:40:09
William Whaley
That's the only song only saw Yeah, that's the only song I knew of of it cuz that's why I cuz I said I said that to him I said, I don't know he's famous for tequila makes her clothes fall off or whatever and he goes Oh Joe Nichols, I was like I was close
00:40:21
Jacob Contreras
ah boat mix ah
00:40:24
Jacob Contreras
I was like we got two different type of shows going on here Fucking lane at where where at the grounds or at Pigeon Forge
00:40:24
dylankite
Yeah.
00:40:25
William Whaley
i was like mother man
00:40:25
dylankite
And it turns out, turns out you can't drink there, but they do have marijuana plants growing in the fucking windows, but you can't drink there at the music festival too, which is what confused me.
00:40:28
William Whaley
Yeah, i it was my it was totally my bed I was like fuck oh Yeah, it's a no big container Windows and you can yeah, don't don't know a big container that pitch it No forge and Gatlin bird and like which it's just a Right well, that so they don't they so it's no it's no open a container and they didn't have anybody selling either So I was like walking around like oh like yeah, right That's how we're like what the so I mean we just kept the low-key like honestly if looking back at it Like I think if we were just a little bit more low-key I don't think anybody would have came up and said anything But we didn't know like we honestly had no clue There was no sign saying hey by the way like you cannot drink here like no drinking no, you know this or that and So we like packed the cooler put it in the freaking baby stroller ah The the group something run away June or something was playing and they played a cover of thunderstruck So me Cara and Megan.
00:40:56
Jacob Contreras
Yes, I don't need to go there ever.
00:41:30
Jacob Contreras
Oh, the drinking game.
00:41:31
William Whaley
Yeah, we started playing thunderstruck right in the middle of the field So I was like, you know, we were not low-key at all We were sitting there chugging fucking just beers going around or just chugging chugging until it fucking it goes away and then like
00:41:32
Jacob Contreras
yeah yeah yeah
00:41:37
dylankite
Yeah.
00:41:44
Jacob Contreras
you know
00:41:44
William Whaley
Everybody's beer is gone. Everybody's beer is gone. We have those Arizona iced teas. So we're kind of sitting there and then you know ah You know super cop yeahp super cop fucking comes up You know his high and tight is high and stupid comes up and he just goes pour that out right now Like talking to kite. I'm like what the fuck?
00:42:03
Jacob Contreras
you First off, I don't like your fucking tone.
00:42:03
William Whaley
that's i fucking toad talking to my guy all wrong you do it again stabbing the face with a soery eye so like i'm just like what the fuck is this guy's problem like and then he's say hey then he then he explains and then ka is like is there any Signs like any like it's like it's no open container and he's like, well, there's no science.
00:42:07
Jacob Contreras
no
00:42:25
William Whaley
I know there's no science He goes. so Okay, like he was just being a dick It's just like I think they need to go through like don't get me wrong like being a cop is a hard job But like he really was one of those types that probably was bullied like because now he's got a little bit of Yeah, just be a little bit more personal.
00:42:40
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, you just need to watch how you talk to people, because I was like, that attitude shit ain't gonna get you. Yeah, I was like...
00:42:45
William Whaley
Yeah Percival yeah Yeah
00:42:46
dylankite
Yeah, be a little bit more personal because i we don't know.
00:42:48
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:42:49
dylankite
We're not from Pigeon Forge. like you know and I was pouring it out as he said it.
00:42:51
William Whaley
were just here for a fucking good time.
00:42:51
Jacob Contreras
Who the fuck's from Pigeon Forge?
00:42:53
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:42:55
dylankite
and i was like I told him, i was like I just wish there were signs. He goes, there's no signs. and I was like, okay, dude.
00:42:59
William Whaley
ah Yeah.
00:43:00
Jacob Contreras
No shit, motherfucker, otherwise I wouldn't be here.
00:43:00
William Whaley
All right. Yeah. like Yeah.
00:43:02
dylankite
Yeah.
00:43:02
Jacob Contreras
We wouldn't be here.
00:43:03
dylankite
Yeah.
00:43:03
William Whaley
you this This conversation wouldn't be happening because it'd be in a styrofoam cup where you couldn't see.
00:43:06
dylankite
but it It would take nothing away from you to walk up because I know if I was a cop, I would do it.
00:43:08
William Whaley
it's just Yeah.
00:43:11
dylankite
I'd walk up, be like, hey, brother, you probably don't know you're not from here. There's no open container here. Like finish it, you know, throw it away, whatever. Like, but just be like, pour it out right now.
00:43:19
William Whaley
orient it Yeah, yeah Yeah, just his tone everything.
00:43:21
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:43:22
dylankite
ah my iing time And what's crazy is we go behind the concession stand and everybody's pounding beer.
00:43:24
William Whaley
I'm like, bro. I was like, I mean, I don't know like I mean I just And this everybody got it Yeah, we get we go right out a lot like homeboys got like a fucking deuce do so fucking mick ultra Just fucking chugging it along like what I'm just like I'm just like dude Just be a little bit more personable like like I just don't understand why you have to be a dickhead just be like hey brother Yeah
00:43:43
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah.
00:43:46
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it costs you nothing to be a fucking ah a G.
00:43:48
William Whaley
ye
00:43:50
Jacob Contreras
like
00:43:50
dylankite
A human.
00:43:50
William Whaley
Yeah, be be yeah be cool like you fucking suck dude.
00:43:51
Jacob Contreras
yeah yeah
00:43:54
William Whaley
Hey, I just said I was like i thought this was for the July Yeah Yeah, yeah Mm
00:43:54
Jacob Contreras
That's why you're a fucking cop.
00:43:57
dylankite
Yeah.
00:43:57
Jacob Contreras
I'm sorry, I thought this was fucking America.
00:43:58
dylankite
Like 99% of the people there are tourists, you know?
00:44:02
Jacob Contreras
Hey, all I'm saying is prohibition, drinking is a constitutional right.
00:44:02
dylankite
I don't know the rules. but
00:44:07
William Whaley
-hmm check it out buddy. No, I I
00:44:10
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:44:10
dylankite
As a marijuana plants growing in the windows, if people fucking believe that, oh my God, dude.
00:44:12
William Whaley
but in the way like it fucking people are trying to get fucking samples i'm like we we yeah got fucking time for that but same like but ease that all right we gotta go ah yeah oh yeah Yeah, the fucking the wine we we fucking got wine slushies.
00:44:14
Jacob Contreras
Bye.
00:44:21
dylankite
Yeah. The rest of it though, the rest of Pigeon Gorge was really fucking cool. Like we got all those free samples and shit. Yeah.
00:44:33
William Whaley
Hey hang out in the back They fucking put it in a special cup shout out to that dude. I wish I remembered his name ah He was from like Cincinnati area came down. He's a guy I was like, well, why are you here? He's out just to change the scenery and money like I mean you gotta think about it like especially on a weekend like that um I mean
00:44:49
Jacob Contreras
yeah Yeah.
00:44:50
William Whaley
Those free tastings those three we so you can do uh, most of the place do the tastings of their moonshine or most of them are actually have actual good liquor now, like they're a real actual distillery like nope no no offense not trying to take away from the Smoking mountain moonshine.
00:45:01
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah, just stories. Within the confines of the legal system.
00:45:06
William Whaley
Yeah, right Well, no, no, they they they actually have real shit now like they actually distill distill real bourbon. It's not just the the the
00:45:15
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, but that's what I'm saying. It's not the shit that's gonna make you go blind.
00:45:17
William Whaley
right well they do have the hundred and twenty proof stuff though that's still nice but i just meant like they have good shit now like back in the day you would go there you had smokeky mountain you had sugar land and all they had was their their version of moonshine and white lightning all of them have a version of the white lightning or the blue flame or whatever the fuck they want to call it um um That would get it.
00:45:20
dylankite
I do.
00:45:30
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:45:38
William Whaley
Don't get me wrong. It all gets you drunk But no they actually have good bourbons now like like, you know, like legit gin legit bourbon So we me and kite would do like the premium sampling so we would sit there You know hammering on these bourbons and shit like that and it would be like at most $10 for a sample and I mean the people are awesome Like if you tip well like the you know They're like, oh, we'll try this one too. Well, you know what I mean? Like, and I mean, we got, we got, oh yeah, we have fucking shred it for, I want to say like maybe 20 to 30 bucks a person.
00:46:03
Jacob Contreras
and a little add on her
00:46:10
William Whaley
Cause we just would tip, like we just did. Like most of the money goes to tip.
00:46:12
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. Yeah.
00:46:13
William Whaley
So I can really imagine those people making good money. And then they get, you know, the bartenders tax
00:46:18
Jacob Contreras
If you vote Trump, those tips are going to be tax free.
00:46:21
dylankite
Yeah, honestly, don't know how y'all stayed another day.
00:46:22
William Whaley
free.
00:46:23
Jacob Contreras
Tax free.
00:46:23
William Whaley
Is that, ah is that a thing?
00:46:25
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. that yeah that Hey, that's, that's part of what he was running on.
00:46:30
William Whaley
ah Okay tips that's what you said that three tips Yeah, it was the first night the first night I thought like you guys she stayed a asleep.
00:46:31
Jacob Contreras
Tax free tips, baby.
00:46:32
dylankite
Yeah, I don't know how y'all stayed another day because we were getting lit every fucking day and then Laney would only let us sleep for like two or three fucking hours. So after that, I was fucking toasted.
00:46:49
dylankite
Yeah, the first night she was pretty good.
00:46:49
William Whaley
Yeah Yeah, that last yeah Yeah
00:46:51
dylankite
It was that last night where we stayed up till 2 a.m. and she woke up at five and I was like, fuck.
00:46:55
William Whaley
yeah fuck Yeah. Yeah. Not so. Yeah. So we just slept slept in like, yeah.
00:46:58
Jacob Contreras
Hey, we only got a tag team. That's all y'all be wanting. All y'all in both gotta be away.
00:47:03
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:47:03
dylankite
I'm not going to lie, I did care pretty dirty because she got up at five and we went outside and we were out there with her sitting because we don't want to wake everybody else up. And, uh, she goes, Hey, can you go inside and get my toothbrush? I was like, yeah, I got you. So I went inside, i grabbed the toothbrush and I looked at the car and I laid down for a minute and I fell asleep. And I woke up at 7am and I came outside. I was like, here's your toothbrush.
00:47:27
William Whaley
she would all like a walk like she will walk around the fucking campground like god damn yeah i'm thinking about updating the old camper man i want i want two ac's dog i only got one ac for that 30 foot camper that ain't enough man
00:47:29
Jacob Contreras
well
00:47:32
Jacob Contreras
Now I see why you get in trouble.
00:47:34
dylankite
Yeah.
00:47:43
William Whaley
so
00:47:43
dylankite
shit Hey, that camper did me right, though.
00:47:45
William Whaley
yeah and i
00:47:46
dylankite
It was solid.
00:47:47
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it's gotta be a little bit different.
00:47:47
William Whaley
Yeah, so I went up to Home Depot and got those I went up to Home Depot and got those fucking like that bubble insulation like that quick insulation and Like it just put it on the windows so it reflects the heat back out and keeps like your cool area and like So it worked great because what was it like fucking 95 one day, bro?
00:48:00
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:48:04
dylankite
That first day.
00:48:05
William Whaley
I walked outside and I was just like drenched. I'm like I didn't even do anything. I breathe. I took like one breath Yeah, it was like nasty
00:48:09
dylankite
the That first day, it was rough. I was like jumping water on little lady.
00:48:12
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, that that's one of the things that's like, it's gonna be tough to understand though.
00:48:14
dylankite
I was like, chill off. Fuck. Like her cheeks were red. I was like.
00:48:18
Jacob Contreras
Like, yeah I mean, you guys over there like are burning up. Like somebody was telling me that I was like, dude, it's 63. It's hoodie weather here. Like it's a little overcast.
00:48:26
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:48:27
Jacob Contreras
I'm like,
00:48:27
William Whaley
That ain't going to be when you head back south, brother.
00:48:28
Jacob Contreras
I'm not ready. I'm not. Yeah, I'm not ready. I'm not ready for it.
00:48:30
William Whaley
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're going to be in a culture shock dog.
00:48:32
dylankite
Yeah.
00:48:33
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, well.
00:48:34
dylankite
Yeah, it's going to be rough.
00:48:34
William Whaley
They're like temperature shock.
00:48:35
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. At least the the only saving grace there is that I'll be from October to April. So ah hopefully I get out of there before it gets like too unbearable. But even in April, it's probably going to be a little much for me.
00:48:47
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:48:50
dylankite
and People are going to be crying when it's 50 and you're just going to be like, this feels great.
00:48:54
Jacob Contreras
and i'm not Yeah, I was like, I'm not doing full winners.
00:48:55
William Whaley
definitely
00:48:57
Jacob Contreras
I'm not.
00:48:57
William Whaley
Yeah. You'll do what you're told.
00:49:00
Jacob Contreras
I'll probably do what I'm told.
00:49:04
dylankite
He's a warrant officer. He shouldn't show up at all.
00:49:05
William Whaley
yeah Now they're changing it now, remember?
00:49:07
Jacob Contreras
That's what I'm saying. Yeah, I know, dude.
00:49:09
William Whaley
That's what they said.
00:49:09
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:49:10
Jacob Contreras
that I know.
00:49:10
William Whaley
ah yeah He got it at the wrong time.
00:49:11
William Whaley
They're like, Hey, this is not the old, not the old war.
00:49:12
Jacob Contreras
I got in too late. I wasn't grandfathered in.
00:49:15
William Whaley
It's like, fuck dude. du This was not on the brochure.
00:49:17
Jacob Contreras
I was looking forward to that shit.
00:49:20
William Whaley
This shit was not on the brochure. I'm here trying not to show up, dude.
00:49:23
Jacob Contreras
I was told that yes.
00:49:25
William Whaley
yeah Y'all y'all some real assholes right now, dude Yeah, when do you head back to work um monday Oh Monday, that's good.
00:49:29
Jacob Contreras
I know, it's, I don't know. We'll see. I mean, I really haven't even been at work. So like, like I said, I was at work for a week and then I took a month off of work and I've just been chilling it.
00:49:43
Jacob Contreras
Monday. Yeah.
00:49:46
William Whaley
I'll send everything else.
00:49:46
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I know.
00:49:47
William Whaley
I am maybe me me and Megan should fly up and hope you guys pack but
00:49:51
Jacob Contreras
Hey, you know, that it was like fly up in August. So one of the things that I have, uh, We'll talk about that in a second, but, uh, if, if you're going to attending any baseball games in Minneapolis or Chicago, I don't know what our analytics are if we have listeners there, but I will be passing through and go into baseball games in Minneapolis, Chicago, and then Cincinnati as well. So if you stop by and see, yeah, I was like, I'm going to be throwing up slaps everywhere.
00:49:51
dylankite
It looks like they released a photo of the shooter.
00:50:14
William Whaley
Yeah. We're going to be seeing Nelly.
00:50:18
Jacob Contreras
So, uh, yeah, it was like, if you attend baseball games and you hit us up on our socials, I'll, uh, I'll pass a few out.
00:50:20
William Whaley
They all
00:50:26
dylankite
We're also going to be getting some t-shirts soon. I have a shit ton of t-shirt ideas in my head, and I got to get them out there.
00:50:33
William Whaley
suck.
00:50:34
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, i one hundred I believe they are terrible.
00:50:34
William Whaley
but like
00:50:35
dylankite
Well, one of them is just going to be a math problem. It's going to be like, what was I thinking? It was going to be new squared in the vacuum, and it's going to equal hot to it. I got a lot of good ideas.
00:50:47
Jacob Contreras
I mean, you know what?
00:50:48
dylankite
They're going to come out.
00:50:48
Jacob Contreras
You don't have that copyrighted. There's claims on it.
00:50:50
William Whaley
Yeah, yeah, they sued.
00:50:51
Jacob Contreras
I was like, you're going to get a suit.
00:50:52
William Whaley
Yeah, just.
00:50:53
dylankite
But they don't know what it looks like in my head.
00:50:55
William Whaley
yeah
00:50:57
dylankite
done
00:50:57
William Whaley
app
00:50:58
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, a little bit too much talk to on the line.
00:50:58
William Whaley
ah apparently Apparently, apparently I just get to, ah but I'm fine with just to.
00:51:04
dylankite
Yeah, Megan made that very clear. There's no hockey.
00:51:05
William Whaley
Clear.
00:51:06
dylankite
There's only two.
00:51:06
William Whaley
She said it's like that sounds gross because of like the, it's like a hockaloo.
00:51:06
dylankite
Yeah.
00:51:10
dylankite
I don't know. In the moment, it kind of... In the moment, I appreciate the effort, you know?
00:51:12
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:51:15
dylankite
like
00:51:15
William Whaley
yeah
00:51:17
Jacob Contreras
it's It's a low hawk.
00:51:18
dylankite
Like...
00:51:19
Jacob Contreras
It's a low hawk.
00:51:19
dylankite
Yeah.
00:51:20
William Whaley
That's what I was saying, but I was like, Hey man, I don't, I don't, I don't teach her how to do it.
00:51:21
dylankite
Yeah.
00:51:21
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, a low hawk brought it to a...
00:51:24
William Whaley
I mean, I don't, you know, I'm just happy to be there.
00:51:27
dylankite
yeah
00:51:29
Jacob Contreras
but ah Right on, right on.
00:51:32
William Whaley
I'm just, you know what I mean?
00:51:34
dylankite
I'm not going to complain. I'm not going to rock.
00:51:35
William Whaley
I'm like, I'm just happy to be here.
00:51:36
Jacob Contreras
Hell yeah.
00:51:37
William Whaley
Well, yeah, I just, I was just sit back and and and enjoy it.
00:51:38
dylankite
Yeah. Don't rock the boat.
00:51:40
Jacob Contreras
There.
00:51:41
dylankite
You're already lucky to be there.
00:51:48
William Whaley
You know, shit, man.
00:51:49
dylankite
Yeah.
00:51:50
William Whaley
I don't, you know, yeah, I'd be here.
00:51:51
dylankite
It's like being in the top 10 when you're number 10.
00:51:51
Jacob Contreras
but so
00:51:53
dylankite
It's like, hey, I'm just happy to be here.
00:51:53
Jacob Contreras
I'm glad I made the show, you know?
00:51:55
dylankite
yeah
00:51:56
William Whaley
Yeah. Made it. Cashing checks, snapping next. Maybe you don't talk about.
00:52:02
Jacob Contreras
All right, what were you saying about the photo or whatever?
00:52:05
dylankite
yeah
00:52:07
William Whaley
yeah Yeah. He said the shooter got, there's a breaking news.
00:52:09
dylankite
Yeah, I'll send you all the photo. Uh, looks like a real mongoloid. No surprise there.
00:52:14
William Whaley
There's no surprise there.
00:52:15
dylankite
Um, it was a surprise to me that some people don't know what a mongoloid is,
00:52:21
William Whaley
yeah that Did come up in Pigeon Forge the Yeah, remember we're playing cards against humanity which I'm undefeated in Again I think she's she's she's accepted it though but Funny yeah, yeah see
00:52:23
dylankite
but it is. yeah Oh, is that where we found out? Yeah. Yeah.
00:52:29
dylankite
Oh yeah. That's right. Was it Megan?
00:52:31
Jacob Contreras
Did Megan take the fattest L ever again? ah Dude, she she's just like...
00:52:35
dylankite
She did.
00:52:38
Jacob Contreras
She gets in her head.
00:52:38
dylankite
She kept asking to play.
00:52:39
Jacob Contreras
She thinks she's funny. Dude, Megan thinks she's funny. And especially with Cards Against Humanity. And it's like, the only you find this shit funny. It is...
00:52:47
dylankite
She kept asking to play and I told her, I was like, Megan, this is not going to end the way you think it's going to end.
00:52:47
Jacob Contreras
It is a myth.
00:52:52
William Whaley
my As I said, I was like I was like I was like I think I won the first four cards I was like, I'm done playing I could just see Megan get pissed Hey, but what was the a fucking Yeah, dude, oh I got a mongoloid it's of Look Look Let me check it out
00:52:55
dylankite
You just go get upset.
00:52:55
Jacob Contreras
they
00:53:03
Jacob Contreras
Dude, that motherfucker, that guy's got a kite forehead.
00:53:08
dylankite
Yeah, kind of. But it is a real mongoloid looking motherfucker. Let me tell you, he definitely gets no pussy.
00:53:12
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it is not good.
00:53:16
dylankite
Let's put it out.
00:53:17
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah, yeah, nah, that is the incel if I've ever seen one, man.
00:53:22
William Whaley
oh boy
00:53:22
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
00:53:25
dylankite
Yeah, there's no pussy there.
00:53:26
Jacob Contreras
a
00:53:27
Jacob Contreras
and
00:53:27
William Whaley
boy Whoo Jesus it looks like I guess cartoonish like he looked like he ran into a yeah my precious He really is though Yeah
00:53:32
Jacob Contreras
it's it's It's a little golem, a little golem with the stringy hair, big forehead, I don't know. The posture, I'm sure, is atrocious.
00:53:41
dylankite
You know, he's probably he's really giving off West Virginia vibes.
00:53:45
Jacob Contreras
you know And it it does make sense. It stands to reason because they were in Pennsylvania, right?
00:53:50
dylankite
Yeah, that's an easy trick.
00:53:51
Jacob Contreras
Could be, yeah.
00:53:52
dylankite
Yeah.
00:53:52
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:53:53
William Whaley
the
00:53:54
dylankite
Yeah. Somewhere along the line, there's a little incest probably.
00:53:59
Jacob Contreras
I'm not a little. there's There's a heavy dose of it.
Trust Issues & Iconic Images
00:54:05
dylankite
yes That's what I was. a you
00:54:11
Jacob Contreras
the so So that's that's what I was trying to tell my some of my siblings ah they were talking about it being staged I was like I'll tell you what I 100% believe it's staged if it's a fucking migrant No
00:54:13
William Whaley
the the
00:54:25
dylankite
I'm telling you, I don't think there's a single person on earth I would trust to do that for me. I don't think there is. I got i don't know anybody, not even like Chris Kyle. yeah you know I don't trust you to nick me in the ear.
00:54:37
Jacob Contreras
r ip
00:54:39
dylankite
I just don't trust it.
00:54:39
William Whaley
I'd be yeah, not dude.
00:54:42
dylankite
i Just wait till I turn my head and nick me in the ear.
00:54:42
William Whaley
I'm with you. It's not saying it's us things And that dude's taking the shot hell fucking uh, yeah, fuck it Yeah
00:54:46
dylankite
like No.
00:54:52
dylankite
yeah I would have to be obliterated drunk and then y'all would have to pump me up for 24 hours. Dude, it's a great idea. It's a great idea. Just let it happen.
00:55:01
Jacob Contreras
Well,
00:55:02
William Whaley
yeah
00:55:02
dylankite
Like, and even then I'd have precautions and I'd be like, I don't think it's going to work.
00:55:05
Jacob Contreras
RIP.
00:55:06
William Whaley
i Honestly don't think I don't think we would have to get you drunk that long either They
00:55:09
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah, really. I think we could convince you pretty good. Yeah, like it really wouldn't take much to get you there. ah
00:55:16
dylankite
I'm telling you though, that photo afterwards, him throwing his fist in the air.
00:55:17
William Whaley
say know what would you call him the commander in Cheeto
00:55:20
dylankite
Yeah, that's money.
00:55:21
Jacob Contreras
Iconic, iconic.
00:55:22
dylankite
We're going to see it for the next three months, at least.
00:55:22
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah.
00:55:25
dylankite
so Yeah.
00:55:26
Jacob Contreras
It's going to be in the history books.
00:55:28
William Whaley
it's ki they say you remember when what you call him the commander and cheeto
00:55:30
Jacob Contreras
It could hurt you.
00:55:34
dylankite
Yeah, the head Cheetos, man.
00:55:35
William Whaley
They almost fucking you know that they almost took old Chester out dog.
00:55:38
Jacob Contreras
yeah
00:55:39
William Whaley
Oh, it's just I Saw a thing and just said it was a it was like a fake stormy Daniel quote and it it looks like we both took a shot to the face.
00:55:39
dylankite
I'm telling you right now, if Melania doesn't do a little hot to it tonight, fuck that bitch.
00:55:45
Jacob Contreras
But she she probably ain't been hawking for a while.
00:56:00
Jacob Contreras
and
00:56:02
William Whaley
Just said dash store me days. I was like, yeah oh, oh boy All the internet or the other one like if he said if Jesse smoothie Smolay thing had a smell it it smelled like this and then it was like Jesse smell and then as it fades into the Trump picture I was like, yeah, I was like, bro.
00:56:04
Jacob Contreras
yeah Dude, that's what I was saying.
00:56:06
dylankite
very much
00:56:07
Jacob Contreras
I was like, you know what? like It's crazy how quick how quickly internet is. yeah like da
00:56:22
Jacob Contreras
yeah right Can you just imagine, though, if we put the collective memery and everything into something productive?
00:56:23
William Whaley
I was like, I like I don't know. Yeah.
00:56:29
William Whaley
Oh Yeah
00:56:32
Jacob Contreras
i I don't think so.
00:56:33
William Whaley
Is that not productive? It brings joy to thousands.
00:56:35
Jacob Contreras
I don't think so.
00:56:36
William Whaley
he said They can be doing something better with their lives, like, what?
00:56:40
Jacob Contreras
I'm talking. Humanity would be so great if we were as quick with the budget.
00:56:44
dylankite
It's ruined a couple lives.
00:56:46
William Whaley
Oh, I'm sure.
00:56:47
dylankite
yeah But it's also made some lives, so I don't know.
00:56:48
William Whaley
yeah you We'd have flying cars if memes didn't exist.
00:56:50
Jacob Contreras
ah Yeah, yeah. a man Yeah, exactly.
00:56:52
William Whaley
We'd have flying cars.
00:56:55
Jacob Contreras
I mean, shit would be a lot less funny, but yeah.
00:56:55
William Whaley
We were to solve this global warming a years ago. and Yeah.
00:56:58
Jacob Contreras
I'll tell you what, the group text would not be as fire, but it would be too
Technology Concerns & Humor
00:57:03
dylankite
Speaking of group texts, did y you all see that all of AT and&T should get leaked?
00:57:03
Jacob Contreras
we'd probably be production memory.
00:57:08
Jacob Contreras
Yes, I did. I was like, dude, I'm a fucking AT and&T user.
00:57:08
William Whaley
Yeah, that's what I said.
00:57:11
Jacob Contreras
i This is where it is, boys. This is where it is.
00:57:11
dylankite
I am too, so we're fucked, dude.
00:57:13
William Whaley
This is where it is.
00:57:14
dylankite
This is it, man.
00:57:14
William Whaley
That's what it is. Look at me.
00:57:16
dylankite
I looked
00:57:19
Jacob Contreras
I've had the same phone number for like close to 20 years now.
00:57:21
dylankite
into it.
00:57:22
Jacob Contreras
i'm
00:57:23
William Whaley
Yeah, ever since I joined the military, yeah ever since I joined the military, I've been on AT&T because I was on Verizon or since I built one of them and I got I got fucking kicked off.
00:57:23
dylankite
I looked into it.
00:57:32
Jacob Contreras
yeah It's over, boys.
00:57:34
Jacob Contreras
It's over.
00:57:34
William Whaley
Yeah, that's it.
00:57:34
William Whaley
That's it, man.
00:57:35
Jacob Contreras
This is where they got it.
00:57:35
dylankite
I looked into it and said that they could just see the numbers you were texting and calling.
00:57:35
William Whaley
They're coming for us.
00:57:39
dylankite
And I was like, thank you, Jesus. good
00:57:43
Jacob Contreras
Not the content. Not the content. All right, we're good.
00:57:45
dylankite
I don't believe that.
00:57:46
William Whaley
18 AT&T and like the rest of the world just flooded with a bunch of dick pics is cock cock photos everywhere that is he good We call it we call about like somebody get eyes on kite man this motherfucker
00:57:46
Jacob Contreras
Still got it.
00:57:51
Jacob Contreras
but
00:57:53
dylankite
Worse than that.
00:57:55
Jacob Contreras
and
00:57:57
dylankite
Hey, neighbors they ever leak it in entirety, and I'm just i'm done. I'm just going into it.
00:58:03
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it's hanging from the ceiling pan.
00:58:09
dylankite
a
00:58:13
William Whaley
He ended it. He spoke fucking, he fucking earned in this man.
00:58:14
dylankite
Oh, man.
00:58:15
Jacob Contreras
we try Yeah, it was probably a good idea.
00:58:17
dylankite
That'd be a rough day.
00:58:22
William Whaley
Oh fuck man.
00:58:22
Jacob Contreras
You know what, though? like I'm going to try and go on the dark web and just get all of Kite's information and just send it to him little by little, like, hey, bud, do you remember this?
00:58:27
William Whaley
Yeah. This no God, no, no.
00:58:32
dylankite
You know, all jokes aside,
00:58:33
Jacob Contreras
but I'm not blackmailing you, but I am loading.
00:58:36
dylankite
ah
00:58:37
Jacob Contreras
You know I have all of your chat history.
00:58:39
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:58:39
dylankite
All jokes aside, my algorithm gets worse with some of the shit Jake sends me. He sent me somebody dying from a cockfight the other day.
00:58:44
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah.
00:58:45
William Whaley
and circle it
00:58:46
Jacob Contreras
Oh, dude. I probably send Kite worth of it.
00:58:49
William Whaley
Strickly Wait somebody died at the cock wait, did you send it?
00:58:50
dylankite
Right in his artery and shit was just going everywhere.
00:58:52
William Whaley
I don't think I watched it I get it Spurred Oh It is for moral fuck
00:58:53
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, no but the guy got he got the lit up like it. Yeah, he got spurred right in his leg and it just bloods everywhere. yeah But you know what you need to you need to go over the slides to like that one.
00:59:03
dylankite
Yeah.
00:59:07
Jacob Contreras
I knew you would get that one was the one the bait it got you in and then you scroll scroll on another slide.
00:59:11
dylankite
Yeah. I pissed off Cara the other day.
00:59:13
William Whaley
Did you send it to the group chat?
00:59:15
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it is.
00:59:15
William Whaley
I didn't see it. I ought to go back and look Or is that the one thing I deleted?
00:59:18
dylankite
I pissed off Cara the other day because I was sliding through her her reels and I liked one and she goes, stop, that's going to fuck up my algorithm.
00:59:20
William Whaley
Uh, yeah, go ahead What are you gonna get what are you gonna get nothing but racist shit?
00:59:21
Jacob Contreras
It might have.
00:59:26
dylankite
And I just close it out. I was like, you're fucked now, but.
00:59:29
Jacob Contreras
there not
00:59:32
Jacob Contreras
oh yeah
00:59:33
dylankite
image I don't even want to say what I like. I don't even want to say what it was I liked. I'll send it to y'all later.
00:59:42
Jacob Contreras
ah ah the The more important question is, Carol, what was that doing in there?
00:59:44
dylankite
but I'll send it right now.
00:59:46
Jacob Contreras
hu what would She's like, look, I just like to look at them.
00:59:47
William Whaley
Yeah, what?
00:59:48
dylankite
Yeah. How do you get there, Cara?
00:59:50
Jacob Contreras
I don't like to like them.
00:59:51
William Whaley
Yeah.
00:59:53
dylankite
Every once in a while, I tell her, I'm like, you won't post that on your store. She goes, no, I won't. And I was like, do it.
00:59:59
Jacob Contreras
Then I'll post some shit for the story.
01:00:00
William Whaley
Do it. Let that eat.
01:00:03
Jacob Contreras
I'll be like, just to just to test the water, see who responds or who likes it.
01:00:06
William Whaley
Yeah.
01:00:06
dylankite
I just sent it to y'all.
01:00:08
Jacob Contreras
I'm going to immediately turn my phone to the screen and put the volume on.
01:00:09
William Whaley
Fuck. Yeah.
01:00:14
William Whaley
Let's see.
01:00:14
dylankite
No, don't do it.
01:00:18
Jacob Contreras
Just let it melt.
01:00:18
William Whaley
Is this some more?
01:00:18
dylankite
Gryffindor!
01:00:20
William Whaley
Is it like in some more hot to the ones or what? I don't I didn't get it yet.
01:00:25
dylankite
no
01:00:26
William Whaley
Would you send it all?
01:00:26
Jacob Contreras
I saw, I seen it. I'm not, I won't, I won't, uh, blast it out there.
01:00:30
William Whaley
All I see is the the Frogger looking motherfucker.
01:00:32
dylankite
No, it's yeah it's yeah it's funny, but it's not for podcasts.
01:00:36
Jacob Contreras
dad oh
01:00:39
William Whaley
I didn't get it or what do you say?
01:00:42
dylankite
You don't need it.
01:00:43
Jacob Contreras
well like Oh, damn.
01:00:43
William Whaley
yeah
01:00:44
dylankite
yeah
01:00:49
Jacob Contreras
Look, ah I'm going to send you guys a fucking photo right now.
01:00:49
dylankite
a
01:00:55
William Whaley
is it Is it homeboys melon split in half Jeez, they're there. I don't know man. Oh also. Dr. Ruth died. You remember that old little that little girl?
01:01:04
dylankite
Oh yeah, that was definitely him.
01:01:07
William Whaley
He said oh Dr.
01:01:07
Jacob Contreras
No, I don't know how to talk to you.
01:01:09
William Whaley
Ruth was like this little lady that would like talk about your sex life ah She was a sex doctor.
01:01:14
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:01:15
William Whaley
Yeah, she died too.
01:01:16
Jacob Contreras
No, no, I remember that.
01:01:17
William Whaley
Yeah, she died too.
01:01:19
Jacob Contreras
Well, she's in hell.
01:01:19
William Whaley
Oh You got to eat the pussy
01:01:22
dylankite
That kid was definitely retarded.
01:01:22
Jacob Contreras
yeah Oh, yeah, yeah, he was an insult.
01:01:23
dylankite
He definitely did not pass the ASVAB.
01:01:24
William Whaley
What where are you guys sending it? What are you sending this on? Instagram?
01:01:27
Jacob Contreras
Dude, go to IG, yeah.
01:01:29
William Whaley
Okay, alright.
01:01:30
dylankite
Yeah, that dude had a problems. so The biggest one is probably fucking his sister, but yeah, that's some problems.
01:01:32
Jacob Contreras
Oh, no, no doubt about it.
01:01:34
William Whaley
he is Is that the one you were talking about?
01:01:35
Jacob Contreras
No, it wasn't him fucking it, sister.
01:01:38
William Whaley
The Ask A Man one?
01:01:38
Jacob Contreras
It was his dad. Yeah, yeah.
01:01:39
dylankite
Yeah.
01:01:40
William Whaley
and Did I see that one a million times? Oh, shit.
01:01:44
dylankite
So how fucked up is your algorithm?
01:01:47
Jacob Contreras
I know.
01:01:47
William Whaley
Gosh, it didn't really...
01:01:48
dylankite
have
01:01:48
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, that that's why Kara's singing it.
01:01:49
William Whaley
But like first off first off first off Ron has has fucked my algorithm all the way up to so We'll send he'll send me some wild shit No, it's because you you send me shit and I click on the link yeah, it opens the app.
01:01:56
dylankite
I wonder if because we follow each other too, our algorithms kind of get like intermingled maybe.
01:02:03
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah, no, no, it's it. Yeah, if we if we send each other stuff, yeah, like even the stuff I like, you'll see it because I randomly I'm like, I'll scroll to something and it'll say liked by and then have friends.
01:02:06
William Whaley
Yeah. Yeah yeah
01:02:15
Jacob Contreras
and I'm like, oh, tight, you fucking freaking motherfucker.
01:02:19
Jacob Contreras
No,
01:02:20
dylankite
I'm not the one that follows like what, what was it? Wieners and losers?
01:02:24
Jacob Contreras
oh that was yeah, weiners and losers.
01:02:25
William Whaley
so
01:02:26
Jacob Contreras
That shit's fire.
01:02:27
William Whaley
That's yes fire nothing but glizzy goblins sons of bitches out here Joe yeah, fucking Joey chest not again got he got barred he got barred from Nathan's Nathan's was like Don't be bringing your fucking your impossible dogs up in here, dude Obviously
01:02:29
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, so it's a bunch of sus memes about Glizzies.
01:02:36
Jacob Contreras
yeah
01:02:43
Jacob Contreras
I know, I was like, you gotta wonder how much they paid him.
01:02:44
dylankite
What?
01:02:47
dylankite
You have to wonder, the Secret Service dude that was like, let me take a picture real quick.
01:02:47
Jacob Contreras
ah they Oh yeah, man.
01:02:52
dylankite
like I don't know, but who linked it?
01:02:52
William Whaley
Well, they had they had to, right? I thought, or...
01:02:55
Jacob Contreras
they ah You know what if you got a Samsung you're you're in the stands and you just zoom in 100% and be like telephoto got that motherfucker Yeah, you don't know about that, but maybe one day Yeah
01:03:04
dylankite
That's true, too.
01:03:08
William Whaley
Ah, yeah. This fucking shit is. We call that ah his wig. It has been split. Zip him up. Bag him a tag him, boys. so they Well, it just really so man then one thing I was just like that like the fucking person behind like damn dude like That's pretty good.
01:03:28
Jacob Contreras
Today's events were almost as horrible as the time someone sat at Nancy Pelosi's desk.
01:03:36
Jacob Contreras
Got it. Yeah. Got them.
01:03:37
William Whaley
I mean that's like that's Pearl Harbor. That's like Pearl Harbor level.
01:03:40
dylankite
Same level shit right there.
01:03:44
William Whaley
I Don't know man, I just it is it is wild dude. ah I I yeah, I don't Jesus, I don't know. I think that I know i I'm with you.
01:03:53
dylankite
Crazy time.
01:03:56
William Whaley
Okay. I mean, I know I'll see it when I believe it I'm not gonna whatever like we're kind of shit, you know, we're kind of stuck You know, on all sides here with, with the the candidate choices, but like, yeah, man, I, I, the only thing I can think of is this, this has helped him even more, especially like he has keep saying the photos iconic. There's going to be shirts. There's going to be hats. There's, I mean, Portnoy is already out front. Like we already spoke about. ah hey Yeah.
01:04:24
dylankite
Fortnoy, Musk, Musk donated to a campaign for the first time.
01:04:26
William Whaley
Yeah.
01:04:28
dylankite
like yeah it's It's kind of like that movie campaign where he's like he punched a baby and his points went up.
01:04:28
William Whaley
Yeah.
01:04:29
Jacob Contreras
oh did
01:04:33
Jacob Contreras
Dude Look at the goonery already.
01:04:36
William Whaley
isn that o a up for so yeah is that like oa for so god
01:04:37
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah Yeah, it's a it's a company called tier 3 Yeah, they're pretty good company.
01:04:44
William Whaley
That's pretty good tier three yeah That's such a clever fucking like God that could have been us.
01:04:46
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I was like I Company name. Yeah.
01:04:51
Jacob Contreras
Yeah tier 3. Yeah, dude. It's I'm telling you there There's some there's some funny motherfuckers like out there. I was like god. They're good
01:04:51
William Whaley
Yeah, I couldn't us We had a new tier 10 or something
01:05:00
William Whaley
ah Shit you gotta get the sound bite of the fight. You should have got that for tonight's episode Not Was
01:05:07
Jacob Contreras
I do want to know.
01:05:07
dylankite
Supposedly he's there.
01:05:07
Jacob Contreras
I was like, so there was a UFC event tonight. I want to see if he's out there.
01:05:11
William Whaley
there There's a Strickland fighter.
01:05:12
dylankite
Well, they said he was gonna go.
01:05:12
Jacob Contreras
I don't know.
01:05:13
William Whaley
So we're strict. We're strictly fighting again or something. He only tends to show up when like His big Strickland fan and then what one of the other like redneck dudes and somebody else.
01:05:17
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, he's a big guy. Yeah.
01:05:23
William Whaley
I don't know Is that his name he's like
01:05:24
Jacob Contreras
Colby Covington. I don't know. Yeah. I was like the cowboy or whatever.
01:05:29
William Whaley
Oh no, yeah, nah, nah, I know you're talking about, there was like some ink from Mississippi, but he thinks that like em ah Elon Musk is like the Antichrist.
01:05:31
Jacob Contreras
Uh,
01:05:37
Jacob Contreras
Oh, weird. ah Hitting the head for a living, maybe not.
01:05:38
William Whaley
He's like, all right, you probably, yeah, you yeah. which i what Whatever, dude, you're entitled to your opinion, but like, that's wild.
01:05:43
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. you know It's going to change the brain chemistry a little bit.
01:05:47
William Whaley
It does.
01:05:47
dylankite
A lot of people think that me, a lot of people do. Cara was talking about her how she went to of these 80 year old people and they were talking about how he's the anti-Christ and everything else.
01:05:50
Jacob Contreras
But.
01:05:51
William Whaley
Cause it,
01:05:57
William Whaley
Always cuz it's because of a neural link
01:05:57
dylankite
I'm like, yeah
Skepticism on Modern Tech & History
01:05:59
William Whaley
stuff. It's the like the nerve like they want to put like shit in your head Mark of the beast or something. I don't know. I mean, I don't know ah He's definitely awkward as fuck.
01:06:01
dylankite
I don't know, man.
01:06:06
dylankite
I don't know.
01:06:09
William Whaley
So I Don't trust me Is he he's definitely on a spectrum with some sort That
01:06:12
dylankite
I think he's just on a different level. I don't know.
01:06:16
Jacob Contreras
I can't even pretend to relate to what his life is.
01:06:21
dylankite
Bradley.
01:06:22
Jacob Contreras
You think about think about how much more technologically advanced we would be if we weren't trying to kill off all those ones on the spectrum early off, you know?
01:06:22
William Whaley
motherfucker be making them at night dog like
01:06:30
William Whaley
the air through the the the the
01:06:32
Jacob Contreras
like I don't know. just Just some food. Something I thought about the other day. i was like
01:06:37
William Whaley
was that an abortion joker
01:06:39
Jacob Contreras
No, no, was ah possibly, possibly, you know, like, hey, look, we notice your kids on the spectrum.
01:06:42
William Whaley
possibly i dont know
01:06:47
William Whaley
yeah
01:06:47
dylankite
It really started with like Sparta.
01:06:48
Jacob Contreras
Right. Hey.
01:06:49
dylankite
They were like, ah, this one's off.
01:06:50
Jacob Contreras
But that's that's what I'm saying. I was like, hey, you know, this motherfucker is weird and shit, but he sees numbers floating in the sky and whatever he does math for us or, you know, like.
01:06:54
dylankite
Yeah.
01:07:02
William Whaley
Terrence Howard you tell he talk about all yeah about all husler But yeah, I do like that That should be wild, bro.
01:07:02
dylankite
yeah
01:07:04
Jacob Contreras
Not but talking about Zach Galpinakis.
01:07:07
dylankite
Yeah. Oh, one times one equals two.
01:07:08
Jacob Contreras
with that here yeah yeah yeah yeah ter powered in wild
01:07:15
William Whaley
I don't know. I don't know what to believe anymore. I just ah I just like I know what I know.
01:07:18
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, look, I'm just here for the fucking ride.
01:07:21
William Whaley
Yeah, I'll be Like a how know um dragons dragons are now I'm starting to believe dragons are real like fuck man
01:07:24
Jacob Contreras
Trying to raise 3-1. yeah
01:07:30
William Whaley
I believe in dinosaurs, but now it's like dragons and they're like, well, dragons were in the dictionary as an actual thing. I don't know.
01:07:40
Jacob Contreras
Well, Webster's changing the definition of everything they want when it's convenient.
01:07:40
William Whaley
But why would they hide it?
01:07:40
dylankite
Every- Apparently every culture had them.
01:07:41
William Whaley
Well, everything. Yeah.
01:07:44
Jacob Contreras
so like
01:07:44
William Whaley
Yeah. Still a fuck out Webster. Well, that's what they were saying. I don't know, man. I can believe that. but but But where they're flying dinosaurs fucking, you know, when people could, you know, read and write, I don't fucking know, bro.
01:07:57
dylankite
Yo, why not?
01:08:00
William Whaley
Checks out, dude. I saw the show. It's historically accurate.
01:08:02
Jacob Contreras
The math is math for me. yeah
01:08:04
William Whaley
Yeah.
01:08:05
dylankite
Have you seen Jurassic Park? Oh my god.
01:08:07
William Whaley
That shit is tight. That shit is tight.
01:08:09
Jacob Contreras
Could you imagine if civilization came to like a fucking standstill and we all went back to a Stone Age and then it wouldn't really take that long it may be a few generations and then they discovered some of the movies we created and be like this is historical fact or this is so you know, like and then they see museums do and you're like, you know, like that shit would be crazy and what if we're doing some of the same shit like
01:08:23
William Whaley
Yeah. Yeah.
01:08:24
dylankite
Yeah.
01:08:24
William Whaley
I think about that all the time.
01:08:31
William Whaley
100% like yeah, like people were like oh like like they find some bones and shit and they glued them together and they fucking bear it over there like ah yeah And they just knew it they're like yeah, they were just like trolling like people Yeah, now they got fucking feathers now they out here flying
01:08:33
Jacob Contreras
yeah
01:08:36
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. He's like, that's completely put together wrong. but
01:08:44
dylankite
That would really be a mind fuck.
01:08:45
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, because they were talking about like dinosaurs.
01:08:46
dylankite
Yeah.
01:08:47
Jacob Contreras
like When I was going through elementary school, dinosaurs didn't have feathers. how Now they got feathers. like Yeah.
01:08:53
dylankite
Yeah, dress apparently Jurassic Park got it entirely wrong. Velociraptors had feathers and shit.
01:08:59
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, that's what I was saying.
01:08:59
William Whaley
But that's not all that's not all true, that's not all true though, but they were saying that and obviously velociraptors are way shorter, but they literally have like fossils that literally show that these things had scales.
01:09:13
William Whaley
But.
01:09:13
Jacob Contreras
I don't know, man.
01:09:14
Jacob Contreras
I don't know.
01:09:14
dylankite
I don't know.
01:09:14
dylankite
I think Will's right. I think they got together a long time ago and they were like, let's really fuck with people. Yeah, make it look like this.
01:09:19
William Whaley
yeah Yeah Yeah, I mean I I'm not saying that there wasn't like variations that had fucking feathers of some sort But like how did our how did a reptile go to a bird?
01:09:20
dylankite
like
01:09:26
Jacob Contreras
I don't know. If you gave me the bones of a dinosaur, they might look a little bit different.
01:09:29
William Whaley
I don't know. I don't know. How did that? Yeah What's that?
01:09:32
Jacob Contreras
I'm just saying, if or if all three of us had to put together a dinosaur given the same bones, we might come up with three different dinosaurs.
01:09:38
William Whaley
Yeah Kite would it just have like this boat must be its dick yeah
01:09:42
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah tight like right what is yeah.
01:09:43
dylankite
Why did my head go in the same direction?
01:09:47
Jacob Contreras
I was like,
01:09:47
dylankite
I was thinking the same thing.
01:09:48
Jacob Contreras
ah fuck exactly.
01:09:48
William Whaley
I know it's fucking written on that giant forehead of yours, dude.
01:09:49
dylankite
I'm like, this one has a huge dick.
01:09:49
Jacob Contreras
Because we know you. We know you. so Yeah, I can just see your thoughts.
01:09:54
William Whaley
He's just thinking about penises.
01:09:58
dylankite
It was a three foot animal that had a six foot dick.
01:09:58
William Whaley
He's just like penises.
01:09:58
Jacob Contreras
How many? yeah
01:10:00
William Whaley
Dick. He used it to climb up and forage for food. he would He would use his six foot dick to knock down the coconuts from the fucking top fucking butch or whatever guy.
01:10:10
dylankite
He was uncircumcised and this was huge.
01:10:12
William Whaley
Oh shit.
Everyday Humor & Honest Kids
01:10:17
dylankite
Why does Dick have teeth on it?
01:10:17
William Whaley
know
01:10:19
William Whaley
but
01:10:19
dylankite
That's weird.
01:10:25
William Whaley
ah Shit did you see that I saw a video of like an elephant scratching its stomach you later you use its boater i was like that's tight like He's just
01:10:29
dylankite
Yeah, I saw that too.
01:10:34
Jacob Contreras
and
01:10:35
dylankite
I sent in to Caro.
01:10:35
Jacob Contreras
ah so That's a pro move. That is a pro move right there.
01:10:39
dylankite
I sent it to Cara while we were in bed and I was like, you getting Randy like me?
01:10:48
William Whaley
i mean
01:10:48
dylankite
I wish I could do that.
01:10:49
William Whaley
Yeah, so i said I saw that, I was like, damn, that'd be cool.
01:10:52
dylankite
Yeah, it would be dope.
01:10:53
William Whaley
is like but this start so slapping it like slower There it is.
01:10:54
dylankite
You sit in there and you get an itch and you know, well, you got to hit the space bar, but you don't want to move your thumbs.
01:10:57
Jacob Contreras
ah but but
01:11:00
dylankite
like
01:11:00
Jacob Contreras
two birds one stone
01:11:03
William Whaley
There it is. Oh my god, dude. That's probably the gayest segment of the show. I don't know.
01:11:09
Jacob Contreras
I started it off with the mustache.
01:11:11
dylankite
We went straight from Trump to Dick.
01:11:13
William Whaley
Yeah, yeah.
01:11:13
Jacob Contreras
It was down to get there.
01:11:17
William Whaley
Yeah, so yeah with that have you hit a hit Megan with the old joke? Uh, hey, let me clear you off a seat Yeah You gotta get it Yeah, you gotta go next when you go out there Just like you guys sit down and watch the tv just look over at her like and she comes in can't ask her for a beer So i'm saying get her get up get it to go to the like kitchen or something And then like when she comes back in like scoot over my hair.
01:11:25
Jacob Contreras
ah no No, but ah time's running out. I got to do it. ah Yeah.
01:11:42
William Whaley
Let me clear you a seat. Yes
01:11:45
William Whaley
Hey, if you're lucky she might sit on it.
01:11:46
dylankite
That's pretty good.
01:11:50
Jacob Contreras
We can only hope.
01:11:51
William Whaley
It's called a flavor saver for a reason boys.
01:11:54
Jacob Contreras
yes
01:11:57
William Whaley
Oh shit. Okay. You getting tired over there?
01:12:01
dylankite
Now I'm just fucking sweating.
01:12:03
William Whaley
and I know you need to do that.
01:12:03
Jacob Contreras
He's trying to see, he's seeing how far back it goes.
01:12:07
William Whaley
I was, I was about to say that I was like, his hand doesn't even cover up his forehead.
01:12:08
Jacob Contreras
ah
01:12:10
William Whaley
You gotta to put two.
01:12:12
dylankite
What are you all talking about?
01:12:12
William Whaley
Yeah.
01:12:13
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, you you brush forward from now on.
01:12:16
William Whaley
oh boy
01:12:16
Jacob Contreras
Oh God, you look terrible.
01:12:17
William Whaley
and now you're just look dirty yeah just look like
01:12:18
Jacob Contreras
yeah ah Are you worried about having a cul-de-sac?
01:12:20
William Whaley
the fifth the fifth
01:12:22
dylankite
That's how it looked when we were in Korea.
01:12:22
William Whaley
okay
01:12:24
dylankite
I just had it forward.
01:12:28
William Whaley
eight word
01:12:28
dylankite
Now I'm getting used to wearing hats now.
01:12:32
William Whaley
didn't didn one of the girls call you out while we were swimming
01:12:32
Jacob Contreras
Well.
01:12:34
William Whaley
she
01:12:35
dylankite
They called you out too at the pizza shop. All right. I don't, the girls, the the girls were on a heater that day.
01:12:38
William Whaley
oh yeah all the time i'm used to it though
01:12:38
Jacob Contreras
Did did. Nobody will hurt you, like, yeah.
01:12:42
William Whaley
they're ruthless there's like
01:12:43
Jacob Contreras
You're a child without a filter.
01:12:45
dylankite
We were in the pool and one of them go, Kite, you're getting bald.
01:12:50
William Whaley
you go bald
01:12:50
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah.
01:12:51
dylankite
And then we go to a pizza shop and they go, Daddy, your stomach's almost as big as this wall.
01:12:56
William Whaley
like
01:12:57
dylankite
I was like, yeah.
01:12:57
Jacob Contreras
Oh, fuck.
01:12:58
dylankite
yeah
01:12:58
William Whaley
that i was like that's that's why i beat you
01:13:01
Jacob Contreras
I like, not that I'm insecure about that, but thank you.
01:13:05
William Whaley
yeah i was like i think it's accomplishment man no yeah that would try yeah yeah he gout they call it the rich man's disease a royal disease or now they they're they've been into your mama jokes lately like ellie just tells tells the word yeah i was like he just tell the the
01:13:09
Jacob Contreras
i thought Hey, you know it used to be a sign of wealth. All right. This is a wealth belly That's
01:13:13
dylankite
Yeah.
01:13:23
Jacob Contreras
your grandmother Oh
01:13:40
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:13:41
William Whaley
the the
01:13:43
dylankite
Junior's an American hero. He's shirtless. He's got jean shorts on.
01:13:46
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:13:47
dylankite
his His locks are just floating in the wind. He's a fucking American hero.
01:13:50
Jacob Contreras
yeah
01:13:50
William Whaley
Yeah, I gotta say to you guys one where you just Yeah Yeah So the Yeah, when he like rides his little bike and so he threw he found in the on this old bangle hat that we had Like so my mom found it.
01:13:51
Jacob Contreras
and Megan, Megan will send snaps where he's just like, I was like, if you put this in slow mo and some fucking music behind it, we we got a fucking commercial for whatever.
01:13:59
dylankite
Some Kenny Powers shit, yeah.
01:14:00
Jacob Contreras
you yeah Oh yeah.
01:14:09
William Whaley
She brought it over because we wore it as kids For my brother on down and it's literally like this little this little bangle mascot like like baby tiger mascot with a bangle helmet like doing like the Heisman pose and he's just like sitting there wearing it and he found it so he's like running around wearing it and he's just like his shirt off stayed on his bike I was like alright you're gonna have to send me that like I think Megan snapped it and I tried to save it so she like said that I was like I'm gonna I'm gonna need that right quick yeah I was like i I don't know if we ever start a band or something I mean I guess we'll be the cover there I don't
01:14:32
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah. This shit just goes hard. yeah
01:14:43
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, like, I don't know. we Maybe we just make a mixtape just to have it and so we can have an album cover, yeah.
01:14:45
William Whaley
Yeah, there's a fire so straight fire.
01:14:49
Jacob Contreras
Or get in contact with an artist who fits his vibe.
01:14:49
dylankite
He's the epitome.
01:14:52
dylankite
He's the epitome of American.
01:14:52
Jacob Contreras
good Yeah, the only thing that sucks is he's from Ohio.
01:14:54
dylankite
That's, that's all I know.
01:14:56
William Whaley
Oh Yeah, yeah, he calls people candy-ass jabronis Yeah, Ohio's like come on Ohio's the heart of it all or something like that.
01:15:05
Jacob Contreras
Is that what they tell you?
01:15:06
dylankite
Ohio slang now, there's like a word for it now.
01:15:08
dylankite
It's like, Oh, that's so Ohio. I don't know what it means. I need to ask my kids, but it's like, Ohio.
01:15:12
William Whaley
Yeah, they said something. Yeah, it's like Ohio or Sigma or something. They keep saying something about Sigma Ohio Sigma.
01:15:17
dylankite
Yeah.
01:15:19
William Whaley
Yeah, it's a thing.
01:15:19
dylankite
Yeah, and then there's, yeah, everybody's like alpha, beta, or sigma, and then Ohio, and then I don't know.
01:15:20
William Whaley
I don't fucking know a Sigma. Yeah, I'm just done. I'm done with it
01:15:27
Jacob Contreras
I forget the ones I, the one I heard them saying the other day, ah yeah it's just like, it's so funny. There's been so many waves already of like young dudes who come in the military. I'm like, what the fuck are you saying right now? Like, I'm just so out of touch with the the the lower or the newer enlisted.
01:15:44
William Whaley
where's the ever fucking all did the
01:15:47
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, eye and well, dude, you ain't gonna tell me. What was I, you know what, I'm gonna remember it later.
01:15:51
dylankite
I'm out of touch with everybody on this.
01:15:53
Jacob Contreras
I'm gonna, huh?
01:15:55
dylankite
I'm out of touch with everybody in list.
01:15:57
Jacob Contreras
Oh, God, I gotta imagine that's gonna be difficult.
01:15:58
dylankite
The other day we were out getting dinner and someone came up and they were like, Hey, Soren Kata, graduate basic trainer.
01:16:02
William Whaley
the the the the the the the the the
01:16:02
dylankite
I was like, who the fuck are you?
01:16:06
dylankite
I was like, congrats, man.
01:16:08
William Whaley
i just i just put you literally put me through nine weeks ago
01:16:13
Jacob Contreras
It's like, you know how long ago nine weeks was?
01:16:15
William Whaley
but
01:16:16
dylankite
Bro, once you get in, I already forgot everything about you.
01:16:20
William Whaley
Yeah, I'm all good.
01:16:20
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I was like.
01:16:21
William Whaley
I'm on to the next son. I Gotta put the I gotta to get these numbers up dude. I'll pump them up You
Games & Cultural Critiques
01:16:29
William Whaley
got any tails from the critter trail what do you got you got anything?
01:16:29
Jacob Contreras
Oh man.
01:16:32
dylankite
Yeah, really. I've been out of the recruiting trail for a little bit with a Tennessee. And then so it's been a little bit, nothing really new.
01:16:37
William Whaley
yeah ah holiday fuck what what ah did anything else exciting happen why we' were down a pitch of for i mean we had a bunch of kids so other than the debba oh what was
01:16:45
dylankite
Yeah, we just.
01:16:47
William Whaley
what was all right you got it what was the fucking um card That was I think man. I think it was Megan. I think Megan played this card I think it was like the Chinese gymnastics team the dick fingers or something like that I can't remember the whole fucking day, but it was good.
01:17:01
dylankite
Oh, yeah.
01:17:05
William Whaley
It was just like is like how do you Yeah, it's like how to save world hunger It's like somehow Blank blank, yeah Blank and blank or something
01:17:06
dylankite
I think it was my card. It was a two parter and I want to say it was, yeah, it was like how to save world hunger. And then she played two cards and it was, I want to say, I don't want to put words in her mouth, but I'm pretty sure it was the first card was like how to save world hunger. And it was like the first card was African children. And then the second card with, with six dicks at the same time or something.
01:17:31
William Whaley
three days three days
01:17:32
dylankite
And I was like, I was like,
01:17:33
Jacob Contreras
Was the church getting involved? ah
01:17:36
William Whaley
like says the church you yeah No, no, it was the Chinese gymnastics team the Chinese gymnastics thing with dick fingers.
01:17:41
dylankite
The post.
01:17:41
Jacob Contreras
so of
01:17:44
dylankite
With big fingers.
01:17:46
William Whaley
What was that? What did that was?
01:17:47
dylankite
There was a couple of good ones. I can't remember them all.
01:17:48
William Whaley
It's a model there.
01:17:50
dylankite
But yeah, they had me rolling on them.
01:17:52
William Whaley
Yeah Yeah, there's good ones
01:17:52
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I got some weird decks. I don't know.
01:17:54
William Whaley
It. Yeah. Well, we, we bought a couple extras. So she's always Jones in the play.
01:17:57
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah.
01:17:59
William Whaley
Like she thinks she's going to get me one day. I'm like, listen.
01:18:02
Jacob Contreras
She's just not good.
01:18:02
dylankite
They're trying to cheat, too.
01:18:03
William Whaley
ah fuck yeah Yes.
01:18:03
dylankite
They're always like, I think one of the boys played this. and i'm like
01:18:05
William Whaley
Yeah. So they sit there and collude every fucking time.
01:18:06
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I know every time. Yeah, I was like, look, you pick the funny, pick the funny card and just accept your fate.
01:18:11
William Whaley
Yeah, what's fun? Yeah, like like literally I had like four cards in a fucking row She was getting pissed and then like and then then you know Kara got in on it Like so I tried to like like I'll laugh at it if it's funny I'll laugh but like I know my shit's about to be funny So as soon as they say it I'm over there like laughing it like that's that's this card and then so he they don't pick it I'm like you guys are fucking assholes, right?
01:18:13
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:18:34
dylankite
Yeah, I caught on too.
01:18:35
Jacob Contreras
No, it's good to know that her game has not changed.
01:18:36
dylankite
That's why I started laughing and shit that wasn't mine.
01:18:37
William Whaley
Yeah ah
01:18:39
dylankite
So I tried to throw them off the trail.
01:18:41
William Whaley
trash, you know, when she listens to this, cause she does listen to every episode. So when she listened to this, be the first thing she's going to tell me is by the way, I am funny. I was like, well, when you got to tell people you're funny, like ah maybe you got so many talents, you got so many talents, cooking, cooking, cleaning, out
01:18:53
Jacob Contreras
ah Yeah, maybe you're not.
01:18:54
dylankite
You know.
01:18:55
Jacob Contreras
I was like, what?
01:18:57
Jacob Contreras
This is objective third party here.
01:19:00
dylankite
Stick to what you're good at.
01:19:02
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:19:05
dylankite
Hot too.
01:19:05
Jacob Contreras
what
01:19:06
William Whaley
To just to ah but like all these talents and you you hung up on cards against humanity. Like what are we doing?
01:19:13
Jacob Contreras
she She has definitely hung up on it.
01:19:14
William Whaley
what do we do Yeah It is so if you're out there and you think you can you know beat me and cars against humanity you're wrong Yeah, yeah
01:19:15
Jacob Contreras
Like it is ah it is a sore topic.
01:19:25
dylankite
She was really good at kings, asshole.
01:19:30
William Whaley
Kings I like I could have won like four times, but I like would forget I would I forget that was an asshole. What's the one where you had to like play the the Cards like you have to you can't use for yeah, I would always forget that and I'm like saving them I'll save it to you and then oh, yeah, you can't end on that.
01:19:40
dylankite
Asshole where you got to close out your, all your cards and everything. Yep.
01:19:49
William Whaley
I'm like fuck Yeah, I was like
01:19:51
dylankite
Yeah. And with that being said, speaking of car games, if your favorite car games, Euchre, fuck you. All right.
01:20:01
William Whaley
Damn damn, I know I know a whole I know a whole fucking I Don't I don't know it's a high it's a high of the thing.
01:20:02
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, I was like, there's gotta be a story behind that one.
01:20:06
dylankite
People from Yeah, people from Ohio.
01:20:09
William Whaley
So the high National Guard yeah The high National Guard like all my boys in the in the fucking guard.
01:20:09
Jacob Contreras
Yooker? Oh, okay.
01:20:14
William Whaley
They fucking jerk off over some fucking Euchre, dude. I bet you Dude It so it does make it it so firstly it makes sense right?
01:20:17
dylankite
People from Ohio love Euchre and the game makes no sense. I've seen people play it many times. I don't know.
01:20:26
William Whaley
Let's not let's not go that far um it Let's not go that far but like it It's an okay card game.
01:20:26
dylankite
I don't know.
01:20:33
William Whaley
Like I would rather play asshole. I'd rather play, you know Kings or whatever um It's an okay card game, but like no I it is an Ohio thing. It's like basically it's like spades um But Dude, i'm I'm telling you like I I would I would like I would bet my life on it. It's a fucking Saturday night Midnight, I would I would venture say and there's like there's like 40 people in my unit. Maybe maybe 50 I Would I would bet my life at least one or two of them are playing Euchre at this moment
01:21:09
William Whaley
Like at their house or whatever like getting drunk playing Euchre probably doing some heroin. I don't know this But they're playing Euchre.
01:21:18
Jacob Contreras
I took a good turn.
01:21:19
William Whaley
Yeah They're playing either.
01:21:20
dylankite
It's in Ohio. Right.
01:21:21
William Whaley
They're bringing you care.
01:21:22
Jacob Contreras
Oh yeah, it is Ohio.
01:21:22
William Whaley
I try to spice it up.
01:21:23
Jacob Contreras
i would I didn't think they would go brown.
01:21:24
William Whaley
They're like, they're probably not doing heroin Matthew you're right.
01:21:25
Jacob Contreras
I mean, I figured a little math maybe, but jeez.
01:21:30
William Whaley
Oh look Little fucking fat little fatty Hey,
01:21:32
dylankite
A good old fashioned eight walk.
01:21:33
Jacob Contreras
ah Yeah, a little fellow fan, a little fan.
01:21:36
William Whaley
I got the nerd guy right here, but
01:21:38
Jacob Contreras
Just hit hit me when I look like I'm going too far.
01:21:42
William Whaley
Yeah, and my if my buddy Faulkner if my buddy Faulkner is at the firehouse tonight I guarantee you they're sitting around after after a quick game of soggy cracker. They're playing fucking Euchre 100% If I can whack off on a biscuit and then fucking sit there and play Euchre Those soggy biscuit or Euchre It's definitely Euchre cuz yeah
01:21:58
dylankite
I'm not a fan. I don't like i either one.
01:22:03
Jacob Contreras
You know what you are Yeah, yeah that the way that that developed
01:22:09
William Whaley
he's a saggy biscuit kind of guy
01:22:11
dylankite
I'd probably rather play that game than Euchre. Yeah.
01:22:15
William Whaley
it's it's honestly not that bad but
01:22:16
dylankite
It seems like every New Year's, they want to have a Euchre tournament and I'm like, I'll just I'll just get drunk by myself.
01:22:17
William Whaley
yeah it is an ohha thing for sure
01:22:22
William Whaley
yeah ah
01:22:24
dylankite
It's fine.
01:22:25
Jacob Contreras
I'm just gonna blow off my hand here.
01:22:26
William Whaley
Yeah. I'm going to put my fucking head in the stove over here.
01:22:30
Jacob Contreras
question
01:22:31
William Whaley
like yeah Fuck off with the, which is weird because like, I, I don't know, Cincinnati, like folks from Cincinnati, like I've, I've heard people mention Euchre, but it's definitely like a, it's like a ah Northern Ohio thing for sure. Like you could, yeah, but you're a hundred percent right, man.
01:22:45
dylankite
Mm hmm.
01:22:48
William Whaley
Euchre is more or Midwest thing, maybe.
01:22:49
dylankite
Same thing with like, ah was it veggie pizza?
01:22:53
William Whaley
What?
01:22:53
dylankite
They love veggie pizza.
01:22:54
William Whaley
Yeah, Megan just made a veggie pizza. I'm like, okay.
01:22:58
dylankite
Yeah, that's an Ohio thing, too, I think, or Midwestern, I should say Midwestern things, veggie pizza.
01:23:01
William Whaley
ah huh yeah It's literally like, it's like fucking right.
01:23:03
Jacob Contreras
um I'm Well, I'm not surprised about Megan making a veggie pizza, but like just I mean that's weird.
01:23:08
William Whaley
Yeah.
01:23:11
Jacob Contreras
I've never heard that Let me get a supreme pizza without all the good stuff or what what is it?
01:23:12
William Whaley
Well, it's like, it's like, it's like basically like, like sour cream. No, no, nos no, no it's it's yeah, it's like literally like so you have like either yeah, yeah sour cream vegetables all mixed up and make it to make like this like paste of a sauce so it's like almost like a veggie dip it's like it's like a veggie dip on top of like a biscuit or like a bread layer or a pizza crust whatever you want to do it and then you put the diced up veggies on top of it and cheese and
01:23:18
dylankite
Yeah, yeah.
01:23:23
dylankite
It's our Korean bicycles.
01:23:32
Jacob Contreras
Just eat a fucking salad and shut up. Like, God.
01:23:47
William Whaley
It's like basically did like and it tastes like to me. It tastes like Brock new dip broccoli into that veggie dip like i As good as that's wait What you what do we do it on a Saturday night we're gonna fucking play you could eat some veggie pizza Yeah
01:23:51
Jacob Contreras
Alright, I'm done here. You guys are just pissing me off now.
01:23:53
dylankite
As good as that sounds, as good as that sounds, that is the food form of Euchre. Like it it's not great.
01:24:02
Jacob Contreras
ah
01:24:06
Jacob Contreras
you could vja pizza
01:24:09
William Whaley
yeah
01:24:09
Jacob Contreras
we're getting wild
01:24:10
dylankite
I can wash it down with some skylight.
01:24:11
William Whaley
Again, yeah again, i'd I'd rather go piss on an electric fence boys Hey first off don't disrespect skyline.
01:24:13
Jacob Contreras
a huk yeah He gets very sensitive about Skyline when you talk about about it.
01:24:19
William Whaley
All right Yeah You can't there's two things now the Skylines.
01:24:20
dylankite
I mean,
01:24:25
William Whaley
Okay, you just can't disrespect get a get it I know for a fact is delicious I can get where skyline is kind of like a man not my fucking thing if you don't like get a Like I don't it's just I don't I don't i don't understand you
01:24:36
dylankite
Get is OK.
01:24:38
Jacob Contreras
i don't know
01:24:38
William Whaley
like it it's a breakfast it's a breakfast meat like the but you you thought you you you like so I'm not gonna say like hey you know you know Julie fucking Megan's mom she really dropped the ball in this last batch like you know keep it up
01:24:38
dylankite
like
01:24:43
dylankite
Yeah.
01:24:56
Jacob Contreras
I
01:24:58
William Whaley
It was like the first batch that, you know, was kind of bad. Uh, it wasn't bad. It tasted fine, but it was more mushy than usual.
01:25:03
Jacob Contreras
don't know what that is
01:25:05
William Whaley
So I, I'll give you that, but it is just, it's it's solid. It's a solid breakfast meat. It's a solid breakfast meat. Like it's, it's sausage, uh, steel oats and something else.
01:25:13
dylankite
It's OK. It's got a bunch of different shit in it, and it's...
01:25:19
dylankite
It's
01:25:19
William Whaley
Like it's not that much, but basically it's just a food made out of necessity back back way back when by German immigrants.
01:25:26
dylankite
a very poor man's Teresa.
01:25:26
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, we've come a long long way. Yeah, we've come a long way. We don't have to eat this anymore.
01:25:30
William Whaley
Bitch bitch your people fucking you know pig belly and well what the tripe and what what is that that sausage?
01:25:36
Jacob Contreras
That shit's fire. Creepers are good.
01:25:38
William Whaley
Yeah, they're good But don't don't don't come at me like like we come a long way like have we have we come along with if it's good It's good.
01:25:40
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:25:42
Jacob Contreras
Oh, I'm going to let... Yes, yes, we have. Yes, yes, we have.
01:25:47
William Whaley
if if It's good. It's good. Am I right? There you go First off it
01:25:49
dylankite
I don't know.
01:25:50
Jacob Contreras
I don't i don't think that's... It sounds bad.
01:25:53
dylankite
I could do without yuker and veggie pizza and all that gay shit.
01:25:59
William Whaley
ah First of all, he can't know anything like anything out of the ordinary He's like hey, it's he put a little salt on a potato. He gets all fucking flustered as guy
01:26:08
Jacob Contreras
Does this
Military Meals & Holiday Anecdotes
01:26:09
Jacob Contreras
thing have pepper?
01:26:09
Jacob Contreras
It's real spicy.
01:26:09
dylankite
First off,
01:26:10
William Whaley
is a stress like this to cheese is spicy do you Do you Yeah, he's not a spicy guy he thinks ketchup is spiciest motherfucker sorry
01:26:14
dylankite
I love spice.
01:26:20
Jacob Contreras
you know You don't strike me as a big spice guy.
01:26:26
Jacob Contreras
yeah
01:26:26
dylankite
We were going over to somebody's house and Kerry's like, we should bring something. i I'm thinking about making a veggie pizza. And I said, let me stop you right there.
01:26:34
William Whaley
You have to be surprised, though.
01:26:34
dylankite
Nobody's going to eat that shit.
01:26:36
Jacob Contreras
If the you show up to my house and you brought a veggie pizza, um ah I'll be like, oh yeah, we'll put this in the oven and keep it warm. I'm throwing it in the trash.
01:26:43
dylankite
Yeah, it's it I mean, that's where it belongs.
01:26:44
Jacob Contreras
Don't bring that shit over here.
01:26:44
William Whaley
you don't You don't keep it warm, though. You don't keep it warm, though.
01:26:47
dylankite
No, it's cool.
01:26:47
William Whaley
That's the thing.
01:26:47
Jacob Contreras
ah
01:26:48
William Whaley
It's cold.
01:26:48
dylankite
You keep it cool. Yeah.
01:26:49
William Whaley
Yeah. That's what I'm trying to tell you.
01:26:50
dylankite
See, it keeps getting worse.
01:26:51
Jacob Contreras
I'm really, I'm over it.
01:26:52
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah.
01:26:52
dylankite
yeah
01:26:53
William Whaley
It's just easier.
01:26:54
Jacob Contreras
I'm fucking over it. I think you're it's intentional now. You guys are trying to piss me off.
01:26:59
dylankite
when you When you come to Ohio, we'll have some veggie pizza and you can wait on you.
01:27:00
William Whaley
Yeah. Listen. the the
01:27:03
Jacob Contreras
Dude. I do mine in three or two months, whatever.
01:27:05
William Whaley
i
01:27:07
Jacob Contreras
I will be there around this time in two months.
01:27:07
William Whaley
know
01:27:09
Jacob Contreras
I was like, I don't want to see no, I'm fucking throwing it out the window.
01:27:13
William Whaley
Trust me, trust me.
01:27:14
dylankite
It's stressed.
01:27:15
William Whaley
What, but you know, we are, we are, we are getting a little long on the tooth in this episode. I think it's cause we we're, you know, we get get back, we're all excited kind of getting back in the whole Trump thing and everything's getting wild. But I do want to say, say something for like our military guys out there and on the subject of veggie pizzas. What about that veggie lasagna, the defect we make with that white sauce?
01:27:36
dylankite
It's actually, yeah.
01:27:37
William Whaley
That shit was, that shit was slapped, dude. That shit was slapped. What are your what what's your thoughts on that?
01:27:45
dylankite
A lot of the shit the defact would make, even the fucking chimichangas, all that shit was good. I thought.
01:27:50
Jacob Contreras
I still think Turkey Tetrazzini from DFAC is one of my favorite videos, like, it just never misses.
01:27:53
William Whaley
yeah that's turkey to All they did was eat that bitch up but like hey hey they had that shit down dude Veggie looks i I would never eat it or order it anywhere, but when they had that motherfucker up there I'm like, let me get a slice of that
01:27:58
Jacob Contreras
I was like, you know, I will say, you know, honestly, like, no.
01:28:06
dylankite
Okay.
01:28:10
Jacob Contreras
The, the defect here in Jay bear is probably one of the best that I've had, um, consistently, uh, you know, like it, they still miss their fucking defect, you know, like it's, it is what it is, but like consistently, like.
01:28:17
William Whaley
Yeah.
01:28:21
William Whaley
Yeah. There's a bunch of ponkaloids fucking running around making a man night. The fucking brother.
01:28:27
Jacob Contreras
man, you know, what's funny is like, I was a man, we're doing like sensitive item inventories one, ah one month, like, probably like six or eight months ago. And ah one of the guys he he, he was like the NCIC who ran the defect and he came down and he was doing all of ah all of my equipment and I was just kind of talking to him, you know, like bullshit. Cause I didn't, I knew him, but I didn't really know him. And he's like, Oh yeah, I'm from San Antonio. I was like, Oh no shit. I'm from San Antonio too. And he goes like, yeah, it had a lot of fat women.
01:28:58
William Whaley
Lot of fat women Give foods good.
01:29:02
Jacob Contreras
We call them Thorfats.
01:29:04
William Whaley
Yeah like foods good.
01:29:05
Jacob Contreras
But so anyway, he's like, where, where, where'd you go to school?
01:29:06
William Whaley
That's how you know Right that same video
01:29:09
Jacob Contreras
You know, like that's always like, where are you from? Like in San Antonio. see you know So like, yeah, I went to Clark and I was like, strangely enough, I went to Clark, you know, and he's like, Oh, yeah, he's like, I graduated this year. And just like everybody, he's a little he's a few years younger.
01:29:22
William Whaley
You guys found out you fucked before. Crazy.
01:29:24
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, no, crazy. I was like, no. But we went to school at the same time. We're in Alaska. It's wild. It's just, it is a small world.
01:29:33
William Whaley
That's not...
01:29:35
Jacob Contreras
He was a few years behind me. So I think he went when my brother and when Megan went.
01:29:37
William Whaley
Okay.
01:29:39
Jacob Contreras
So he knew them both.
01:29:39
William Whaley
Sir. Oh, that's crazy.
01:29:41
Jacob Contreras
But yeah, it was wild. And then we hired somebody to do family portraits.
01:29:44
William Whaley
Megan! Did you fuck that dude?
01:29:46
Jacob Contreras
And it was his wife.
01:29:46
William Whaley
No, just kidding. Yeah. yeah
01:29:48
Jacob Contreras
I was like, you know this motherfucker?
01:29:52
William Whaley
well like yeah
01:29:55
Jacob Contreras
ah but Just like it is a a funny small army world like and it proves it to me again and again and again But anyway, I was like a back to the original point if I see a fucking veggie pizza, it's a problem.
01:30:01
William Whaley
100% Yeah, we we knew a couple That wasn't the original point the original point was that that that you started with that turkey tangent easy
01:30:03
dylankite
Yeah.
01:30:09
dylankite
How about that chicken cordon bleu there?
01:30:12
Jacob Contreras
I Know you know, I don't know where I started with it. I just That's what ah we're talking about the food
01:30:18
William Whaley
And if a food I would say the best defect that I had ran across probably, you know was probably Kuwait Oh, yeah, they always had the bangers dude.
01:30:26
dylankite
Yeah, camper.
01:30:28
William Whaley
They and always said the fucking Baskin Robbins.
01:30:29
dylankite
Yeah.
01:30:30
Jacob Contreras
nick they They went out too.
01:30:32
William Whaley
They didn't have all 35 flavors Was that?
01:30:32
dylankite
The carrot cake was on point.
01:30:33
Jacob Contreras
They went all out though.
01:30:35
dylankite
The carrot cake was on point and everything.
01:30:36
Jacob Contreras
They went all out like on on the holiday ones.
01:30:38
William Whaley
Yeah, oh shit, I will say Thanksgiving in Afghanistan I'm blanking on the i'm looking on the the the small outposts that was over and uh... uh... who's out there's just right outside of uh... kabool or a child uh...
01:31:00
Jacob Contreras
It's not Vans.
01:31:01
William Whaley
known it wasn't known of it that's what's on that's one of our uh... i don't know but like they they told us about the spread and we literally put a copy we literally put a cop in it and fucking convoy over You know down the road just to go just to eat Thanksgiving Yeah, like to eat, you know a meal for Thanksgiving over there because I mean it was like it was cartoonish you walk in there was like just a ah Table full of breads a table full of turkeys a table like the full of desserts and sides it it was wild Yeah, they they go I will say that's one thing they that the US military does right like if you're away from home on the holidays obviously
01:31:16
Jacob Contreras
just to go
01:31:43
William Whaley
Everybody's deployment is different. I don't want to you know, I I know some you know real boots out there We're stuck in the middle of nowhere fucking, you know Eating MRE's on Thanksgiving. Hey, I love y'all too. Don't you know don't hate don't hate because we yeah yeah get fuck her I hate you to pick the better m mos now i'll just ki but like but i was like appreciate'all But that shit was wild
01:31:58
Jacob Contreras
Get fucked, nerd.
01:32:02
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it's not my fault.
01:32:03
dylankite
yeah
01:32:08
Jacob Contreras
Hey, you know what? my One of my first deployments, like our our Thanksgiving was ah literally what we what we caught out there.
01:32:16
William Whaley
Oh, yeah, we're talking what didn't you guys get a bore and shit?
01:32:16
Jacob Contreras
I was like,
01:32:19
Jacob Contreras
Now we got a waterbuck, so I don't know like it if you, you know, like it's it was pretty impressive.
01:32:22
William Whaley
The fuck is that I got like a deer like a deer like a like a Yeah, it's a bovine or it's got the hooves or whatever
01:32:22
dylankite
Bye.
01:32:26
Jacob Contreras
It's it's big it's kind of like a deer, it's fucking huge though.
01:32:32
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, it was it was pretty crazy, but yeah, I did some ah helicopter hunting, came back with a waterbuck, and I've had better.
01:32:43
William Whaley
Well, they had no idea how to fucking book your head.
01:32:43
Jacob Contreras
like like I mean, it was a cool, yeah.
01:32:46
William Whaley
We all we don't try. We all try.
01:32:48
Jacob Contreras
yeah Yeah, it was, ah it was a cool thing. Like we, you know, we made it and that's what it was like, even if it sucks or whatever, like even if those dudes have MRAs, like it's always made a point, like, especially when you're away from the holidays to make it a little less sucky on that day.
01:33:03
William Whaley
Oh, yeah. Well, I know one story, not personally, but a friend of mine. um He was telling me about a time where um they were stuck. They were out, um you know, embedded in Afghanistan and they were in a small village and it was Thanksgiving and. for whatever reason this kernel whatever was just like We got to get these guys turkeys like we got to get them these turkeys or whatever. So they basically ah Did an airdrop for the turkeys? they literally just like fucking loaded them up drop them out of the fucking black Hawk and just fucking left and they They get so they have to they have to kid up They have to get ready to fucking just like, ah you know, take contact if if it happens for for these turkeys and
01:33:52
William Whaley
and So so they do the whole con out they do everything they get already and they go out to grab these turkeys They get the turkeys and when they fucking bust them open they were frozen solid here's way for that they cook they They literally like gave them to the locals they're like fuck man like they kept like one but like It literally arrived all like the day of fucking Thanksgiving.
01:33:56
Jacob Contreras
Ha
01:34:15
William Whaley
He was telling me how they were pros of fucking solid.
01:34:15
Jacob Contreras
But yeah, I was like, but what are you going to do? Yeah, what are you going to do?
01:34:18
William Whaley
Yeah, I
01:34:18
Jacob Contreras
Like, I mean, i do I want a fucking thought out turkey, you know, and have the chance like getting sick eating?
01:34:25
William Whaley
Floss. Salmonella, yeah.
01:34:25
Jacob Contreras
but Yeah, I'll take the frozen one.
01:34:26
William Whaley
They just fucking basically...
01:34:29
Jacob Contreras
We'll do Thanksgiving tomorrow, guys.
01:34:30
William Whaley
mar Yeah, yeah, so basically they they they had like a fucking palette full of frozen turkeys and they like handed it out and I thought that was fucking hilarious He was just like yeah, he was like telling it like he was all fucking pissed about it He's like how they was telling the stories like we had to fucking you know, had to do the car we had to do this We had to do the PCC's PC.
01:34:31
dylankite
Oh.
01:34:45
Jacob Contreras
Oh yeah, there's a lot of work just for the fucking third year.
01:34:47
William Whaley
Yeah, get up fucking do it, you know pool security You know mark the LZ do all this like you know put our lights on the lines for these fucking turkeys like we didn't even really want them and then they show up and we get to them and They're fucking frozen. I was like Surprised maybe it Fuck man, it's just you know, that's the good idea fairies, bro.
01:35:02
dylankite
that
01:35:05
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:35:11
William Whaley
They fucking get you they'll get you Yeah Christmas time You
01:35:11
dylankite
yeah Yeah It's funny how you what you prioritize around holidays because I remember being in afghanistan. It was christmas time And the generator could not there was only so much load you could put on it And the first sergeant that was in charge Yeah, the first sergeant that was in charge
01:35:26
William Whaley
can't stop jerking off on it dude
01:35:30
William Whaley
did you get it
01:35:31
dylankite
Cause we put up a Christmas tree in the downstairs of the barracks and upstairs was the bedrooms. The power cannot support the Christmas tree and the barracks rooms at the same time.
01:35:43
William Whaley
fuck cut them light
01:35:43
dylankite
So for like a week straight, he made the, he made the executive decision. Let's just not have power in the barracks rooms where people have their laptops, cell phones and shit. Let's just power the Christmas tree.
01:35:55
William Whaley
but need a fucking christmas treat ah
01:35:57
dylankite
Everybody was pissed off. Everybody was like, I can't watch porn. like you know But we have this fucking Christmas tree.
01:36:05
Jacob Contreras
that
01:36:07
William Whaley
I'm really trying to watch this girl get her fucking holes filled in. What are we doing?
01:36:11
dylankite
Yeah, this isn't Christmas. you But yeah, or a week for a week, nobody had any power in the room just so we could have this fucking Christmas tree.
01:36:14
William Whaley
ah I can't even watch a Christmas story for 24 hours straight, dude You
01:36:14
Jacob Contreras
That's so funny.
01:36:23
dylankite
It's fucking wild, dude.
01:36:24
William Whaley
gotta love it
01:36:24
Jacob Contreras
Hey, priorities.
01:36:28
William Whaley
friday
01:36:28
dylankite
Yeah, but we had a Christmas tree. That was cool.
01:36:33
Jacob Contreras
Did you feel the holiday spirit?
01:36:33
dylankite
The Marines couldn't use their flight flights, but it was whatever.
01:36:35
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:36:37
William Whaley
Yeah, I like 100.
01:36:37
Jacob Contreras
Hey, flashlights are not battery operated, so.
01:36:40
William Whaley
It's not bad.
01:36:41
Jacob Contreras
good
01:36:41
William Whaley
Yeah.
01:36:42
dylankite
But do you need something to like get you going, I guess.
01:36:44
William Whaley
You use your fucking imagination, you fucking filthy animal.
01:36:45
dylankite
I don't know.
01:36:46
Jacob Contreras
I know. God, that's the new fucking millennials in the ad.
01:36:49
dylankite
Imagination.
01:36:50
William Whaley
okay You're going to have some in your face.
01:36:52
Jacob Contreras
What, y'all didn't have a Sears catalog?
01:36:54
William Whaley
All right.
01:36:54
Jacob Contreras
Like, what?
01:36:55
dylankite
Yeah.
01:36:55
Jacob Contreras
yeah
01:36:56
dylankite
Anything it would work.
01:36:56
William Whaley
Well, yeah, get out of magazine, a jerk off to good housekeeping.
01:36:57
dylankite
Good housekeeping. right How funny would it be?
01:37:04
William Whaley
Yeah.
01:37:06
William Whaley
ah Shit now they're like, yeah, I love the good idea fairies man Like I can all I can sit there and think like is just like man, you know, like I know they meant well but the execution They just wanted to fuck with you they're like a man Hey said said these motherfucker froze the turkey
01:37:18
Jacob Contreras
ah Sometimes not necessarily.
01:37:23
Jacob Contreras
Hey, like thinking away. Yeah, I like thinking of ways I could destroy morale all the time.
01:37:31
William Whaley
yeah
01:37:32
Jacob Contreras
but
01:37:32
William Whaley
yeah it's How can I fuck with these assholes today, you know what you know the best one is You know the best one is is telling them if you work really hard.
01:37:33
Jacob Contreras
like yeah yeah
01:37:42
Jacob Contreras
Oh.
01:37:42
William Whaley
It's Friday It's Friday.
01:37:44
Jacob Contreras
and See that that's the
01:37:44
William Whaley
You guys work through lunch.
01:37:45
dylankite
Get out of our life.
01:37:46
William Whaley
You'll get off early Every Friday
01:37:48
Jacob Contreras
they do here that that doesn't fly as well because we have arctic family time because you know we lose so much time so we have arctic family time so we get off at like three o'clock on fridays and it's like mandated you know yeah every friday alaska's dope we get a lot of time off i mean alaska's dope so uh but it's just like yeah i
01:38:02
William Whaley
damn I should have went to fucking Alaska dude So if you're out there thinking forget about joining or you join and you get orders for Alaska ah Hopefully it's jay bear cuz I'll send and what's the other ones up there?
01:38:19
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, most likely you will kill yourself if you do not go to jail.
01:38:22
William Whaley
Yeah, if you up there, but if you get jay bear it's like the lottery right beautiful
01:38:26
dylankite
I always forget which one Jake said, but people ask me all the time because now you can pick your first due location and Alaska comes up a lot.
01:38:26
Jacob Contreras
i
01:38:32
William Whaley
the area joined by base, and the
01:38:34
dylankite
And people always ask me, I was like, yeah, my my friend's having a great time up there. He's posting fish moose all the time, but I always forget which one you're at. So I always tell them the same thing for both of them.
01:38:41
Jacob Contreras
a mayor
01:38:44
dylankite
I hope they're having the same experience. i hope
01:38:46
Jacob Contreras
now now are you
01:38:48
William Whaley
relativeitudes are all good
01:38:50
Jacob Contreras
100% you are not having the same experience I'm having if you are at 111.
01:38:52
William Whaley
yeah what what what is what is the one further up it's islesson is the air force base but what's the one next to like what's the army one right okay
01:39:00
Jacob Contreras
Wayne Wayne Wright, yeah.
01:39:02
William Whaley
yep
01:39:02
dylankite
Okay. Well, I hope they're having the same experience.
01:39:03
William Whaley
so why is and the
01:39:05
dylankite
ah
01:39:06
William Whaley
So yes, let's say joint base that they they put up there and he goes Yeah, tell them to put a way right in and these motherfuckers put way right in the army's just like oh yeah a hundred percent You will get one point right?
01:39:12
Jacob Contreras
yeah Yeah, no, oh no, you want to go to Wayne Wright?
01:39:17
William Whaley
let' too much Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
01:39:19
Jacob Contreras
Oh, fuck.
01:39:20
William Whaley
I don't think you know what that is, but you're fucked They're
01:39:21
dylankite
he yeah
01:39:23
Jacob Contreras
Send it.
01:39:26
Jacob Contreras
That's all. Hey, if we don't, if we don't think this dude's going to re-enlist again, we might as well send him to Wayne, right?
01:39:26
William Whaley
fucked Send them out there you're fucking go yeah
01:39:30
dylankite
okay
01:39:32
Jacob Contreras
But, you know, it's funny because people will bitch about anything and even being at Jay Bear, you get a lot of people bitch about it. And I was like, I get it. You're young. You want to have a nightlife? But I was like, dude, you're from a shithole. Like there is no nightlife where you're at either asshole.
01:39:44
William Whaley
Yeah, yeah The bankers not have a night like that.
01:39:46
Jacob Contreras
Like, why are you complaining about it here?
01:39:46
dylankite
You're from West Georgia.
01:39:47
dylankite
day Come on.
01:39:49
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:39:50
William Whaley
I felt like anchors would have some place to pop all that like Right.
01:39:51
Jacob Contreras
So it's seasonal. It's seasonal. Like again, you know, like in the summer, Anchorage explodes.
01:39:54
William Whaley
Okay There's all it's always my life and fucking the winter dog It's daylight all fucking time Shit.
01:39:58
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. Yeah. ah all Sorry, there is no nightlife in the in the summer because, you know, it's right. Yeah, yeah
01:40:08
William Whaley
No, I mean they had some kick-ass breweries while we're up there. I I enjoyed as I said, I was like fuck man.
01:40:11
Jacob Contreras
yeah yeah but but again.
01:40:13
Jacob Contreras
the single female population expands and shrinks depending on the season, you know, so it's like, Hey man, you better get in good with one of the, I'm not going to say the term, uh, the Yeti, the Yetis.
01:40:13
William Whaley
I was like
01:40:16
William Whaley
Oh, depending on yeah, yeah What's the term?
01:40:26
dylankite
Yeah, now I want to know.
01:40:28
William Whaley
he had easy yeah
01:40:28
dylankite
Oh, OK.
01:40:29
Jacob Contreras
You got to get a Yeti in the winter. think
01:40:32
William Whaley
yeah yeah Stay warm, you know I'm talking about ah Fuck all right, man.
01:40:34
Jacob Contreras
did
01:40:37
William Whaley
Damn.
01:40:38
William Whaley
We're at an hour 40 boards. Oh ah
01:40:38
dylankite
You like speeding up, it's the.
01:40:41
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:40:42
dylankite
Groceries are expensive, man.
01:40:42
Jacob Contreras
Well,
01:40:42
William Whaley
ice Yeah groceries are super expensive out there god damn they good luck Hey, you want to go get some like like they have some great restaurants and I'm sure some of the freshest fucking fish and everything But you gonna pay for it.
01:40:43
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. yeah
01:40:54
William Whaley
You're gonna pay I think we went to that fucking little pizza pizza spot.
01:40:55
Jacob Contreras
Oh, yeah.
01:40:58
Jacob Contreras
Moose is.
01:40:59
William Whaley
Um, that's What was it? Do you remember?
01:41:01
Jacob Contreras
Wait, Moose is too?
01:41:02
William Whaley
I mean I think so. It was it was close to the ah the view We were going we're coming back from the view
01:41:04
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, that's that's a big one. Oh, you're talking about up in Palmer. ah That Palmer a house, I think.
01:41:10
William Whaley
Yeah, we're Yeah, something and they had like a pizza.
01:41:13
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:41:14
William Whaley
They you know, it was like a it was a it was a brewery like local brews It was good, but like we got like like two pizzas in a couple beers. It was like it was like a hundred and sixty dollars I was like, holy fuck.
01:41:24
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, yeah, 150.
01:41:25
Jacob Contreras
Boom, dude.
01:41:25
dylankite
No it's fine.
01:41:26
William Whaley
Yeah, I was like god I was like, yeah, they're like a must fucking cost a lot of money to ship the dough up here motherfucker got yeah like
01:41:26
Jacob Contreras
yeah I don't understand because it's all from fucking Costco anyway.
01:41:35
William Whaley
but anyway yeah if fuck
01:41:36
Jacob Contreras
yeah I tell you what, if Costco was ever like, hey, man, we're leaving Alaska, industry would shut down.
01:41:37
William Whaley
fuck cisco whatever fuck is dfs like the the the the the
01:41:45
Jacob Contreras
They'd be fucked.
01:41:46
William Whaley
we can't do it
01:41:48
Jacob Contreras
The restaurant industry has like ceased to exist.
01:41:52
William Whaley
or fuck
01:41:53
dylankite
He said it's all from Costco anyway!
01:41:55
Jacob Contreras
Dude, I shit you not.
01:41:57
dylankite
yeah
01:41:57
Jacob Contreras
like It's so funny because even you go to some of these more remote villages and stuff like that, and you go to the grocery store, and it's all Kirkland.
01:41:58
William Whaley
ah
01:42:04
William Whaley
yeah
01:42:05
Jacob Contreras
So they're just reselling Costco. like That's all it is.
01:42:06
William Whaley
Yeah. There's like, yeah, there's like busted in on gaming. Well, they fucking drive down there in their fucking snowmobiles, pick up a fucking car, a fucking pallet of some and drive it back.
01:42:13
Jacob Contreras
Oh.
01:42:19
William Whaley
It's fucking wild, dude. and so It's a, it's a, yeah. I was like, honestly, yeah, it'd be, if I could do it, especially with a family, honestly, I think it's almost more enticing, especially if you are over, like you said, the young guys, you're over that night, like yeahre you're over the nightlife, like, You know, a date night here and there or whatever, but like I, we had an absolute blast and we went up. I mean, it was every, every way you look, there was a fucking postcard, but we liked to do the hiking.
01:42:39
Jacob Contreras
yeah
01:42:44
William Whaley
We liked to do the camping. We liked to do all that stuff. We did it. We rented that fucking boat. We saw some fucking harbor seals.
01:42:49
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. Yeah.
01:42:50
William Whaley
We didn't see any of the belugas though, or whatever, or not belugas, but yeah, beluga whales. Right. Is that what they call it?
01:42:55
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:42:56
William Whaley
Yeah. We didn't, we didn't see those.
01:42:57
Jacob Contreras
belu Yeah. There's Belugas, there's Orca, there's Sperma, like, that's all.
01:42:58
William Whaley
Yeah. we We didn't see them little fucking whales, but I don't think it was the season for them because it was summer I don't know Yeah
01:43:04
Jacob Contreras
Nah, yeah, we, we've gone through Seward and we've seen the pod roll through and Seward on one of the boat rides are on. So like it it it is, you know, just depends on where they're at.
01:43:12
William Whaley
Yeah, hit or miss. But yeah, we didn't make it down a sewer, but I think the going down to Kenai was fucking cool. Yeah, it was. Well, it's funny. The reason why I bring all this up is like it like it was 4th of July, two years ago. So everything on my timeline was like, oh, this is what you did two years ago.
01:43:24
Jacob Contreras
Yeah. Yeah.
01:43:28
William Whaley
I was like, fuck that was cool. I mean, other than not catching a goddamn fish, but that was.
01:43:33
Jacob Contreras
I know the last time I went, I limited out and like getting less than an hour.
01:43:36
William Whaley
Yeah. um I was like well you had you had one like I mean I think it was just me just like learning right the floss uh Put it in your net bitch.
01:43:42
Jacob Contreras
Well, I was like, hey, dickhead, put it in the net. Like, not you, but the other day I was like, you got a fucking net on you.
01:43:46
William Whaley
Yeah, I was like Yeah, he's like he's like in the way.
01:43:48
Jacob Contreras
Like you see, I yeah i was like, hey, this fish is going downstream.
01:43:50
William Whaley
You're like hitting the guy in the head, but yeah Just
01:43:53
Jacob Contreras
I'm upstream. I need you to fuck. It's slapping you in your eyes.
01:43:56
William Whaley
better bitch, yeah yeah Grab a dude choke it out fucking deal it like for
01:43:57
Jacob Contreras
You know, like just fucking grab it for me. Yeah. Nah, but actually I have kind of switched the technique too. So like, I don't do the fly rod anymore. Like I'll just bring a fucking spinning rod and just 80 pound test and just fucking pull those things out.
01:44:10
William Whaley
I'm gonna throw it out and let let it float and just like yeah God damn it Yeah You won't you won't be here being then you're gonna be in my fucking pan at the end of the day.
01:44:15
Jacob Contreras
I was like, you can snap this rod if you want, but you're coming with me, fucker.
01:44:22
Jacob Contreras
there Yeah.
01:44:24
William Whaley
I'll tell you that But yeah, a lot of eagles is fucking awesome.
01:44:25
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:44:28
Jacob Contreras
All right. Well, uh, yeah.
01:44:29
William Whaley
But yeah Yeah
01:44:30
Jacob Contreras
Thank you for attending our Trump extravaganza.
01:44:33
dylankite
Yeah.
01:44:34
Jacob Contreras
even though like, an hour and a half of it was not of Trump.
01:44:41
William Whaley
I'm in the half, not a Trump. Nah, I'm not very good at Trump impressions. my My kids love my Trump impression though, by the way.
01:44:50
Jacob Contreras
Oh, no, yeah, you've told us you told us last episode, like they love is like, yeah.
01:44:51
William Whaley
i fucking if They fucking shit themselves, dude.
01:44:51
dylankite
Did They just don't know any better.
01:44:56
William Whaley
No, they don't. i just like i like eie
01:44:57
dylankite
like
01:44:59
William Whaley
You smell far worse than anybody else in this man or so. And they just start shitting themselves. So even the kids know like, like we do not talk. All right. Last point. Sorry. I know we, this is a very long episode, the longest episode we had so far. Good episode, great episode, but last.
01:45:18
dylankite
ah best
01:45:18
William Whaley
all thing Lastly, thing I will say when we do not, I will say we do not talk politics in the house. We don't watch the news. Like obviously I have my views. My wife has her views. Like we don't bring that in. Like I literally, I don't talk bad about the sitting president. I never do. Remember the one time you called me and you asked me what I thought about, you know, Biden being elected. I said, I i hope he does a great job. Like, you know, I, and I really meant that.
01:45:44
dylankite
the best.
01:45:46
William Whaley
But see everything that's happened obviously I'm you know You know, whatever it is what it is, but we don't so I'm sitting we're sitting there um I think it was a day ago or or maybe even this morning and we're sitting there Megan's got the news on for the first time ever and
01:45:53
dylankite
Bye.
01:46:04
William Whaley
And it's CBS. So, you know, it's not like you we're watching sitting there watching Fox News or something. It's CBS. and ah nora and Nora just goes, so yeah, I was like, she's like, yeah, ah I'm kind of ready for Donald Trump to be president again. I said, what the fuck?
01:46:22
Jacob Contreras
ah to
01:46:24
William Whaley
I was like, what? I I just.
01:46:26
dylankite
Must be doing something right.
01:46:27
Jacob Contreras
Yeah, Nora's worried about her future.
01:46:30
William Whaley
Yeah, I guess that I was loose I was fucking losing I said like cuz I like literally like like we'll we'll talk about something about like, you know She can pick up on some things I'm sure but we literally do not talk politics that much We do not like we're not sitting there like you got to be this you got to be that like to our kids or anything like that I just thought it was fucking hilarious when she just goes she's like, yeah, I I want Trump to hear, or I'm ready for Trump to be president again. Like I'm sure she's heard it from somebody else like her, or maybe a grandma or something like that, but it was just out of the blue.
01:46:58
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:47:01
dylankite
Yeah.
01:47:02
William Whaley
We were watching the news. They were, they were, I think the news was, was bashing um Biden pretty good or something. ah And it.
01:47:08
Jacob Contreras
You never know what they pick up on anyway, though.
01:47:10
William Whaley
Right.
01:47:11
Jacob Contreras
Like what sticks, like you can tell.
01:47:11
William Whaley
Oh, it's so fucking fun. I just thought it was funny like when she just goes Yeah, I think I think or yeah I'm ready for Trump to be president.
01:47:12
Jacob Contreras
Yeah.
01:47:18
William Whaley
I was like, yeah I was like I said, hey if the grocery bill goes back down I am too man So fuck well until next time, you know boys and girls we had a great time This has been the longest episode again I think it was more so we're just trying to get back into it, but there was a lot of shit going on today. We had fucking Trump being shot in the ear. Was it staged? Was it this? Was it that, um, you know, fucking Richard Simmons, you know, sweating to the oldies dies at 76. I mean, I feel like 76, I think he was a fraud, but whatever. Um, and you had Dr. Ruth die. We, you know, she was all about the sex health, um, back in the day. So just a lot of shit going on today.
01:48:03
William Whaley
And we had a little army talk, so I hope you guys enjoyed the episode We're gonna definitely try to get back on schedule definitely try to get out more shit um Yeah till fucking next time you don't talk about