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Meaningful Moments Meets the Odyssey
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Join this special cross-collaboration between Meaningful Moments: Connecting Infant Mental Health to Early Intervention and The Odyssey: Parenting. Caregiving. Disability. Hosts Lisa Terry and Erin Croyle blend professional expertise and lived experience to have an honest, compassionate conversation about infant mental health, the power of relationships, and supporting the social-emotional well-being of all families. Together, Lisa and Erin explore how meaningful connections—between caregivers, children, and communities—can empower families and help children thrive.
Resources:
Meaningful Moments Podcast: https://www.veipd.org/main/meaningful_moments.html
The Odyssey Podcast: https://centerforfamilyinvolvementblog.org/
CFI: https://cfi.partnership.vcu.edu/
VEIPD: https://www.veipd.org/main/index.html
Supporting Families In Early Intervention: https://veipd.vcu.edu/media/veipd/pdfsarchives/supporting-families-in-ei.pdf
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Transcript
00:00:10
Speaker
Welcome to a special joint episode of The Odyssey, Parenting, Caregiving, Disability, and Meaningful Moments, Connecting Infant Mental Health to Early Intervention.
00:00:20
Speaker
Both podcasts are brought to you by the Partnership for People with Disabilities at Virginia Commonwealth University. Meaningful Moments is a collaborative effort with the Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services, brought to you through a contract with the partnership.
00:00:37
Speaker
The Odyssey is part of my work with the Center for Family Involvement. My name is Erin Croyle. I'm a journalist who's worked for National Geographic and Algebra, and excuse my flub, but Al Jazeera English, both in the States and overseas.
00:00:53
Speaker
When my first child was born with Down syndrome in 2010, my life changed in so many unexpected ways. including a career shift that brought me here working with the Center for Family Involvement, where staff and volunteers with lived experience provide emotional and informational support to people with disabilities and their families.
00:01:12
Speaker
I started the Odyssey podcast to share the struggles and triumphs that families like ours face, as well as resources, because I know all too well how different this journey is through life when you have a loved one with a disability. Thanks, Erin.
00:01:27
Speaker
I'm so excited to collaborate with you. and my name is Lisa Terry, and I really bring a lot of different experience in early intervention. I've been a service coordinator, a supervisor, and provide developmental services.
00:01:40
Speaker
I still do that. actually still go into the homes as a developmental services provider, which I love being there and being present in the moment with the families. I'm endorsed as an infant mental health mentor and research and faculty, and I co-facilitate the Division of Early Childhoods Infant Mental Health Community of Practice.
00:01:59
Speaker
And really, my professional purpose, I feel like, has just been unwavering. I am so passionate about just fostering that connection and nurturing the emotional well-being of all families through meaningful and collaborative support.
00:02:14
Speaker
So I'm so excited to be here with Erin today so we can really join our podcast together and really have a great discussion around infant mental health and the Center for Family Involvement.
00:02:27
Speaker
Oh, and Lisa, I want to start right off. And I got to ask, you know, when we think about mental health, I think about my own. I think about adults. I think about older kids. But what exactly is infant mental health?
00:02:42
Speaker
Yeah, and that is a great question because I feel like there's really this huge stigma around the word, right? Even for mental health every time we talk about it. So we're talking about young children and infant mental health. Like, what does that mean?
00:02:55
Speaker
And people ask us that all the time. And first and foremost, I just want to say the foundation of infant mental health is all about relationships. right It's that connection between the caregiver and that child.
00:03:08
Speaker
It's those meaningful bonds with all relationships that we want. So even if I'm going in as a provider, that relationship is still just as important because we want to make sure that they're trusting relationships that are surrounding that family. right And we're all born to connect.
00:03:23
Speaker
We need those supportive, those nurturing relationships to truly thrive in our environments. And for me, I guess one of the most important like aspects is supporting the social emotional well-being of all families. And that's how I always say it, because I feel like it's not just so supporting the social emotional development of the child, but we need to really think about that emotional well-being of the family as a whole, right?
00:03:48
Speaker
and of each individual. So the caregiver, the parent, the siblings that are involved, everyone that's involved in that family unit is equally important. And parenting, as we all know, it comes with many stressors, right? And we know that stress affects the caregiver and the child. and And often it's bi-directional, right? so that means if the parent is stressed, the child's going to feel stressed.
00:04:12
Speaker
Or if the child's stressed, the parent can feel that stress, right? And so it's really essential that we provide support for all caregivers with that focus of strengthening strengthening that parent-child relationship, because that's what's going to really foster that co-regulation, that self-regulation, those secure attachments.
00:04:30
Speaker
And ultimately, it's going to help children flourish in their environments. I really, like that is so critical to what happens with early intervention. And as a parent who's been through early intervention with my oldest, I was still reeling from my son Arlo's diagnosis, you know, and there's so many stressors that you're dealing with from finances to medical components and, you know, processing the diagnosis.
00:04:59
Speaker
I still remember my son's, um, the professionals that were coming in our home, right? Our EI educator, Deatrice, I just have to give a shout out to because she's so- Yes, we love Deatrice. Right? Just a part of my heart. And I wish I could just sit and shoot the breeze with her right now.
00:05:18
Speaker
And I remember her saying like, Erin, you need to take a break. this is This is just the reason I'm here is to show you how to do these things naturally as part of your life.
00:05:29
Speaker
it's Raising your kid and being with Arlo shouldn't feel like work. But As someone who works with professional development, who's someone who does this, like how do you help show parents that? Like, what is your, what are your methods?
00:05:43
Speaker
Yeah. So, I mean, feel like honestly, every family is different. And you have to treat them that way. You have to look at it that way. You really need to, I feel like sometimes like a little like detective because I'm trying to figure out like what makes that family work?
00:05:59
Speaker
What is it that impacts families differently? Because I have five kids, right? And I could get stressed over like simple things because I will share and be openly honest, like I had very like high anxiety. And so I need like routine and I need structure. And when I feel like I don't have that and it's a loss, like that's really hard for me.
00:06:21
Speaker
it might not be like that for you. Right. And so we really need to figure out like, what is it that does stress those families out? What is, what kind of support do they need? Some families, they might handle the diagnosis a lot easier and they kind of go into this, like, I need to be an advocate mode while other families, they're just not quite ready for it yet. Right. And they're, it's just, it's a hard thing for them to hear. um My brother,
00:06:47
Speaker
And my sister-in-law, I have a nephew, he's um four and he has autism. And they both handled it very differently. And you'll see videos from our HeartWired series of them sharing their story, but it's they're at different points. And so not even all caregivers are the same and how they need to feel supported. But I think the most important thing is that those caregivers have that connection with you.
00:07:13
Speaker
They have those relationships with you. they know that you are going to be there to truly listen. Right. You're not going to just hear their story and then not provide any kind of follow up or resources or support. You're going to be really forming this trusting relationship because what they're saying to you matters.
00:07:32
Speaker
And that is something that would go so long with those relationships, because how would I expect a family to be open and vulnerable to me with me if they don't trust me or if they don't think that I really care.
00:07:48
Speaker
And so I think that's the most important thing. But really, i feel like every family is different. And that's what we need to not put them in a box. We need to really dive in dig deeper, listen to them and hear their story and their journey that they're on.
00:08:05
Speaker
Yeah. And I think too about, you know, all the different specialists that are coming in with early intervention. and And when I think of ah infant mental health and all of the components where you have occupational therapists, physical therapists, behaviorists, speech language pathologists, like how do you make sure they know all the things they need to know and all those factors, you know, soci yeah socioeconomic, cultural, religious, you know,
00:08:31
Speaker
It's the same with our education system where you're trained to be an educator, you're trained to do specific thing, but when it comes to actually working with children, working with caregivers, working with families, there is so much more than you're learning in higher education that comes into play here.
00:08:49
Speaker
Absolutely, because really you're trying to put this knowledge into practice and not one size fits all, right? And one thing I love the most about early intervention is that no matter what and no matter what kind of provider you are, whether you're an occupational therapist, a physical therapist, speech language um therapist, a service coordinator, developmental services provider, we are all cross-trained, right? So that means that we are trying to look at every single aspect of child development, and that includes social emotional growth. Right. So many of the trainings that I tend to focus on is all about supporting the social emotional well-being of all families.
00:09:29
Speaker
And I can tell you that I feel like a lot of practitioners are just eager for this knowledge. Right. Because like you said, like in school, they go and there isn't always the strong emphasis on social emotional development.
00:09:43
Speaker
Yet in early intervention, compassion for the families that we serve is really at the heart of what we do. And everyone working with families, they see the impact that stress can have on family dynamic, especially since the pandemic. I feel like that kind of like triggered this response where a lot of families were just experiencing a lot of turmoil, a lot of unknowns, a lot of stress and more providers than ever. They're a lot more eager to learn.
00:10:09
Speaker
And for anyone that's entering this field, I feel like they have to have a growth mindset and a genuine compassion. Even for me, as somebody that's been in early intervention for over 15 years, I feel like I am always learning and I'm always growing.
00:10:24
Speaker
And that's something that really will go a long way when you're working in this field because everyone can improve. Nobody is perfect in what they're doing, right? and every circumstance is always so different. So we are really working on teaching caregivers to work with the children. And I think that just means the world.
00:10:44
Speaker
And I love that you said growth mindset because I think about my own evolution and and what I see with parents and the children and the families that you serve are dealing with such a wide range of things, right?
00:11:00
Speaker
So you have some that are going to be like my kiddo, where the diagnosis is a lifelong thing. It's it's something that you're you're seeing the families process that my kiddo is going to need support for a lifetime.
00:11:13
Speaker
And then you have other families who it might just, and I don't mean to like make it any lower, but it might just be a speech delay or it might be a speech delay, but there are probably other things there and they're gonna go on this diagnostic odyssey.
00:11:27
Speaker
And I think that a lot of times, especially when you look at the history of disability and and where we've come, you know when I first entered this with my kiddo, with Arlo,
00:11:40
Speaker
I very much had that fix it mentality where I thought I could get all the early intervention and all the therapies and I was gonna make him the best and you know the most excellent kiddo with Down syndrome ever. And he was gonna be making speeches and do the things. And some parents have to kind overcome their own ableism.
00:12:02
Speaker
There's so much stigma that comes with disability and how do y'all deal with that, with that fix it mentality, with the medical models that so much of this is based on? And even the idea that early intervention is meant to like fix instead of just enhance and help kiddos reach their full potential. like How do you take that and teach it and and help families understand it?
00:12:25
Speaker
Right. And that's what I love about infant mental health the most is because infant mental health, truly, we are just meeting families where they are, but we're focused on that connection. Right. And so when I see sometimes like families where it's like they're getting stressed because they do have that fix it mentality. Right. And And you can see the amount of pressure that they are putting on themselves.
00:12:50
Speaker
And we just want them to be present and in the moment with their child, right? And we want all of these strategies that we're teaching them to natural naturally be embedded in those routines and those activities so it doesn't feel like stress.
00:13:03
Speaker
But more than anything, we want them laughing and enjoying that connection with their child. We want you know, those meaningful connections of their child interacting and engaging with them. And that puts a smile on their face. Like, especially a lot of the children that I work with, they do have those characteristics of autism. And so that engagement isn't always there in the beginning. And so we find the moments, find the moments where your child is really interested in something and they're full on like smiling and just laughing and you're having fun.
00:13:33
Speaker
Those are the memories that you're creating with your child. And it's really important to remember that and not get so focused on you know, fixing your child, because at the end of the day, we're going to look at your child's strengths and we're going to keep pushing them to thrive, but it's really going to be around your relationship that you have with your child.
00:13:54
Speaker
Yeah. And I, I just, you know, just a ah note of my own personal, you know, it's so important to just, take off the teaching hat and enjoy your kiddo and love them and see them for who they are.
00:14:11
Speaker
And I was lucky enough to have early intervention specialists that could help me see that. um And that the other beautiful thing about the early intervention model is that they do meet you, not just where you are emotionally, but physically will meet you at a playground or at a cafe or at the places that are the places your family goes to show you how to work with your kiddo in various environments.
00:14:36
Speaker
I mean, how how do you navigate that as someone who teaches this to professionals? Yeah, i I love going out in the community, especially because I feel like for some children that are very sensory seeking and they like the movement, that's where you're going to get a lot more of that engagement with them too, is going to the park, right? And giving them some of that input as they're going down the slide or they're swinging.
00:15:02
Speaker
And then we can work on some language around that, like especially the swing, right? Because then they're sitting in the little baby swing and and so we can stop it and we can model more for them. um And they're looking at their parent and they're smiling.
00:15:16
Speaker
And those moments are really important. I feel like, you know, most people in early intervention do realize how important those other routines and activities are. But I would even like push it further because I even like walks on to the car, right? Because those are things that happen every single day. Like you're going on a car ride, you have to take them to the car and really even working on strategies within those moments.
00:15:40
Speaker
really thinking about like, what are, what's the bigger activity, but what are those little micro routines that have to happen within that routine? So whether it's, you're going to the car, you have to go get your shoes, you have to go outside the door, you have to walk down a curb. There's so many good teaching moments that are already within that larger routine and activity that they're doing.
00:16:03
Speaker
Yeah, like truly meaningful moments, like everywhere you turn, right? Exactly. It's amazing. I think too, I mean, i want to pivot to a little bit of what the Center for Family Involvement does because, you know, there's only so much that y'all can do in an early vet or in an early intervention capacity.
00:16:24
Speaker
And unless you have that lived experience, you can give emotional support. But a lot of the time, families who aren't impacted by some of these things need to talk with other families. And so I know when Arlo was born, I was lucky enough to find a Down Syndrome Network and later to find the Center for Family Involvement and eventually work with them.
00:16:48
Speaker
And so how do you all navigate teaching your staff how to connect families with that peer-to-peer support?
00:16:59
Speaker
Yeah, so I'm gonna actually, I'm gonna push it back to you first before I answer that question, because I do think the Center for Family Involvement is so important, but explain a little bit to our audience about what the Center for Family Involvement does.
00:17:13
Speaker
So the Center for Family Involvement is part of the Family to Family Network. We we host the Family to Family Network of Virginia, which is part of a national organization, which is linked to both parent to parent and family to family, which is a part of Family Voices and all of these organizations work on this peer-to-peer support model where we have professionals training family members with that lived experience so we can then connect people with other families who are going through similar situations, who might have similar cultural or religious or socioeconomic backgrounds, who might understand single parenting,
00:17:56
Speaker
you know those differences in caregiving those differences in your background inform everything that you do and we recognize that talking to someone with similar lived experiences and also dealing with similar disabilities is really important and so we train what we call family navigators to be able to support them regionally across virginia But also if there's sometimes there's, as y'all know, there's a condition so rare that we might be linking them with someone in Nebraska who has a similar like chromosomal abnormality. And like you can talk to someone who really has been through that.
00:18:35
Speaker
um We have genetic navigators who can help talk to families about disease. navigating genetics and and talking about how to get certain doctors on your caseload. So it's a lot of informational support and emotional support that is really catered towards what each individual family needs based on their needs. And we're really not just proud of that work, but we know how important it is because we live it.
00:19:04
Speaker
We are struggling right along with you. And it's easy to say to do things. It's very easy to say, call this person, but we're there when you make that call and it gets you nowhere, you call us back and we're like, all right, let's figure this out together. And that's the sort of support that we offer. We're connecting families with peers who understand or are living it to who have been there through every step of the lifespan from prenatal to aging and elderhood.
00:19:34
Speaker
And I love that, you know, it offers other parents like the opportunity to connect with people that have kind of similar lived experiences, because I think that's what's most important. And for us, we definitely share the information and we work together on providing handout, which we'll link together.
00:19:53
Speaker
Uh, we'll link to this podcast as a resource, but I will say this is the the hardest part that I have sometimes when I am working with families is getting them to make that first phone call.
00:20:07
Speaker
Because I know it's such a great resource and support, but it's just, it's almost like we give them the information. So how would you recommend us to really get them to take that next step and to make that phone call and get connected?
00:20:22
Speaker
Well, that's the hard part. It's so easy to say, make that call. But I remember very much, and this is something you and I have talked about, where you know you're thinking about the early intervention families and the piles of paperwork that are handed to us.
00:20:39
Speaker
And it just sits in a stack on the table. So, okay, encourage families to call, encourage families to reach out. It is just a phone call or an email and then um someone from our family to family network is back to you within like 24 to 48 hours.
00:20:55
Speaker
But we also have social media, we have a podcast. So if you're not ready to make that phone call, follow us on Instagram, follow us on Facebook, you know get ah subscribe to the podcast.
00:21:07
Speaker
And so families are seeing it in their queue and when they're ready, they can reach out. Like that's why we have these multiple forms of ways to reach people because we recognize that the to-do list we have both physically written down and mentally is so long and that you can't keep up with it.
00:21:25
Speaker
And there are things that I know personally I've been wanting to do with or for my son that I've been wanting to do for eight years now. He just turned 15, right? It's impossible to do it all in that moment. And so, um you know, for staff working with families, you know, gentle reminders or, you know, give them the initial paperwork. But When you're working with them, remember to remind them because they're not going to remember those pieces of paper disappear.
00:21:53
Speaker
And so I think like, um, on the sheet that we developed, there's a QR code where you can just scan it with your phone and say, Hey, You know, I know I mentioned this before, but why don't you take a look again? Or, hey, you know, you might not be ready now, but they've got some social media channels. Follow them and then you'll maybe get a reminder when when the time comes to say, oh, wait, I could reach out to them.
00:22:13
Speaker
You know, we're always, we're not going away. Hopefully we're never going away, right? We're always there and and you might want to reach out and then you don't return a call. No one's offended. We've all been there where you, it's not flaking. You just,
00:22:30
Speaker
Man, life hits, it things hit the fan and you can't keep up. And everyone, not only do EI professionals understand it, but I think everyone at the Center for Family Involvement, everyone at the partnership, we get it.
00:22:43
Speaker
This is hard. So call us when you're ready. Call us and don't call us back if we call you back and then call us a year later. It doesn't matter, but just call us. We're here. We're waiting whenever you need us. That's a phenomenal idea. And I actually haven't thought about that before, about kind of like sharing, like maybe even like specific episodes that you have posted that might relate to their situation to really get them like thinking about it.
00:23:07
Speaker
You know, my heart kind of like tugs a little bit back to something that happened recently where one of my families, they are no longer in early intervention because they aged out.
00:23:18
Speaker
But she called me because as we all know, developmental peds takes a really long time to get seen. And um she had an appointment coming up. And she was just so anxious, so full of different, you know, emotions that she was feeling and just wasn't really ready to deal with it. And I think, you know, like one of the biggest things I thought was center for family involvement is perfect for this. Right.
00:23:45
Speaker
And so I did give her that information because I, you know, I asked her, i was like, you know, how would you feel about getting connected to somebody that has had that lived experience before?
00:23:55
Speaker
And she was open to it, but I don't know if she ever, ever called, you know, but I wonder if I would have maybe gave her some of those other resources, if that might have kind of planted the seed a little bit more for her. So I'm going to, I'm going to send some of those episodes. Cause I think that was actually a really great suggestion, Erin. So thank you for sharing that.
00:24:15
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, I think about, you know, my own mental health and the anxiety that I feel and how hard it is to just make a call. And so sometimes, I mean, that's why we do what we do. So you don't even have to make a call.
00:24:27
Speaker
Maybe there's a topic out there that can touch you or heck, you know, send an email and we'll cover a topic that you might want to hear more about. That's that's what we're here for, to just tackle these subjects that no one else is really thinking about or covering or handling. And we know that because This experience is so unique and so rare and so stigmatized that we wanna break down those barriers so everyone can understand it. You know, Lisa, I think something I say so often, one in four Americans has a disability that impacts their daily life.
00:25:06
Speaker
And when you think about that, that means that you or someone you love has or will be disabled at some point in your life. And like talking about it openly and naturally, instead of thinking that it's a bad word is important. Like, let's just normalize it. It's normal. There's no normal, right?
00:25:24
Speaker
It's normal to be different. So let's just talk about it. I agree. And I feel like, I am just so appreciative of you even coming on here because a lot of times I think people just want to hear parents' perspectives too. And you are so open and vulnerable with just your experiences that you've had. But I think that's what really resonates with families and providers because they they don't always think about what is that other missing perspective that that family might have. And so
00:25:59
Speaker
Thank you for doing that and sharing, you know, just your experience with us too. So I know we're coming up on the end and I just kind of wanted to see, like, are there any last thoughts that you might have?
00:26:14
Speaker
My gosh, no, because if I start another thought, we'll go on for another 30 minutes and we'll just save it, right? We'll save it and do another podcast and see what else people want to hear about. I agree. And I definitely think, you know, anybody that is listening, check out the Center for Family Involvement's resources because truly,
00:26:35
Speaker
there It really is a good you know place to start for a lot of families and get them connected. And again, talking about infant mental health, people want connections, right? And so Center for Family Involvement is a great way to connect caregivers to other caregivers that have experienced the same thing. So thank you, Erin. And thank you all for joining us today.
00:26:57
Speaker
and we appreciate it. Thank you.