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Embracing Calm and Joy: Strategies for Families and Practitioners During the Holidays
64 Plays5 days ago
A guide to fostering peace and harmony during the holiday season for families and practitioners, emphasizing strategies to build hope and balance. This includes practical tips on managing stress, setting realistic expectations, nurturing self-care, fostering gratitude, and promoting inclusivity. The resource aims to support both personal well-being and professional practices during this busy time, encouraging meaningful connections and resilience.
Visit https://veipd.org/main/index.html or https://www.vaimh.org/ for more information.
This podcast is a collaborative effort from the Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services (through a contract with the Partnership for People with Disabilities at Virginia Commonwealth University).
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Transcript
Introductions and Roles
00:00:10
Speaker
Welcome everyone to Meaningful Moments Connecting Infant Mental Health to Early Intervention. My name is Lisa Terry. I am an Early Intervention Professional Development Consultant. I am also endorsed as an Infant Mental Health Mentor and I co-facilitate the Division of Early Childhood's Infant Mental Health Community of Practice. I'm gonna go ahead and let my co-facilitator introduce herself. Go ahead, Tracy. Great.
00:00:37
Speaker
Thanks, Lisa. Hey guys, my name is Tracy Walters. I'm the state coordinator for Infant and Early Childhood Mental Health. um I am happy to co facilitate this podcast with Lisa. I'm also on several different parent groups. I have a preschool, which is my own passion outside of work. And I am endorsed as an and an endorsed reflective supervisor. So Happy to be here with Lisa and talk about all things early intervention and infant mental health.
Podcast Sponsorship
00:01:09
Speaker
Yes, thank you, Tracy. So I'm going to go ahead and introduce our sponsor message. This podcast is a collaborative effort from the Virginia Department of Behavioral Health and Developmental Services. And that is through a contract with the Partnership for People with Disabilities at Virginia Commonwealth University.
Holiday Stress and Support
00:01:27
Speaker
And today, our title is Embracing Calm and Joy, Strategies for Families and Practitioners During the Holidays. Tracy, kind of start us off with this.
00:01:38
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, Lisa, look at the date, right? We're at the 20. And what are we at? That's the 13th, right of December. Crazy, crazy, crazy time right now for all of us, I think both personally and professionally, right? We're really feeling a lot of pressure. I think there's a lot of stress. I don't know if you're feeling it. But one of the things that I'm hearing and feeling myself is like this,
00:02:03
Speaker
long the list of things to do, right? Like this week, the conversation in my office at DBHDS is the year end stuff that needs to get wrapped up, right, before 2025. And so I just hear from all of our practitioners around the state that you're pretty stressed right now. It's pretty busy in their world. And just thinking about how can we talk about this today with folks to support them?
00:02:33
Speaker
Right, Tracy? And I think that it's the practitioners and the families and not even, I mean, just the holiday season. Even for the families that don't necessarily celebrate this holiday season, there's just been a lot of stress surrounding people in general, it seems like. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're right. I think that we've had recent elections. We've had lots of things going on in our communities and also worldwide.
Being Present and Finding Calm
00:03:00
Speaker
And then I think our own work, when you end a year and you're starting to go into a new year, that brings a lot of its own stressors, right, really reflecting back on what you accomplished over the year, or maybe there's some still lingering things, right, for you as a practitioner. And that also happens for the families, right, especially NEI, I think, because families want to know how are their little ones doing, right,
00:03:29
Speaker
And right now is a time of great distractibility because there is a lot of travel, you know, whether you're celebrating the holidays or you're just trying to do get togethers with families. um I think that there's a lot of travel when you're trying to add a lot of new things into your schedule. But there seems to be just like this heavy cloud on a lot of people right now. And so just thinking about what are some things we can offer our practitioners to help them, but also to support the families and children that we're trying to serve every day.
00:03:59
Speaker
Right. And I think the theme really for today, the biggest message that you can take away is probably presence, like being present in the moment over presence, like gifts, right? Because every time we feel stressed, I don't know about you, Tracy, but sometimes like what I will do is I will shut down. I kind of become like a little hermit crab. And so we have to really push ourselves to remind ourselves to just be present in those moments.
00:04:28
Speaker
Yeah, I think you're right. This is a really good time of the year, although we've been advocating for this all year long with our listeners. This is a really good time of the year to start practicing whatever it is that is calming for you, right? I was just on a call earlier with some practitioners and one of the things we were talking about are like,
00:04:48
Speaker
How do you find that space of presence for yourself? you know Do you take the big breaths? you know Do you do do exercise? Do you do journaling? like What are some of the things you do to find that calm? But I think, Lisa, the first thing that I always like to offer both myself and everyone that I'm working with is like the awareness of like how are you feeling in the moment.
00:05:15
Speaker
because until we can really slow ourselves ourselves down and feel like where's my body in this space and where's my brain in this space and time right now, it's really hard to know what the next move is. And I think while we're practitioners working with families, we also see that with the children and families, right, that we're working with. um we It's observable, it's palpable really when things are kind of all over the place um for our families and children.
Self-Care and Reflective Practice
00:05:48
Speaker
Right. And we always talk about this Tracy together. We always talk about how we should bottle self care and boundaries. And just the other day, we were having a conversation about how sometimes we push ourselves and we really glorify working hard. And sometimes yeah what happens is we put this pressure on ourselves that we have to work so hard without really taking that step back.
00:06:13
Speaker
and practicing that self-care and slowing down. I know slowing down is really hard for me, and I you know personally will share, like I have ADHD, I have ADD, so that's a struggle for me to really slow down sometimes because my brain is going 100 miles per hour. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. And I think it does make a big difference for all of us. It's like when we're in that middle of that struggle,
00:06:39
Speaker
this I was just on a call facilitating with Naomi Grinney that we all know from early intervention. And we were having a wrap-up session with a group, and we were really thinking about the same topic. It's very interesting. And one of the things we were talking about is like, give it yourself two prompts. It's like, kind of like, what do you want to let go of this year or this season that we're in? And then what do you want to keep and embrace?
00:07:09
Speaker
And I think that clarity and just those two prompts can be very hopeful for us, both in long-term planning, but also in the moment, right? Sometimes just saying to ourselves like, okay, my child needs this. I need this. We've got dinner to cook. We've got this session to get through with our OT or our PT. what What do we need right now? You know, and what can I let go of? Because I think that We tend to just pile on right. We just tend to pile on more and more for ourselves instead of given some permission giving to just we can let that one go. Right. Let that one go.
00:07:51
Speaker
And I think you see that a lot with families where they're putting some pressure on themselves. I still see kids out in the field like and I feel like they will put this pressure on themselves like they're not doing enough, right? And I've had so many families admit to me, they're like, you know, is this my fault?
00:08:09
Speaker
I don't know if I caused this delay for my child because I'm not doing enough and so they're adding additional pressure and we have to really meet them where they are and just let them know that it's okay, this is not your fault, this is not something you did or created. As long as you are enjoying that time with your child and you're being present with them, that is the most effective way to support your child and really that relationship and nurture that.
00:08:39
Speaker
so many things you just said right there I want to capture and like lean on for a second because finding that joy with your child and being joyful in that parent child relationship Lisa is one of the biggest gifts that you can give yourself and your child right and I think especially for our families and early intervention their lives can become so busy right with all of the therapies and the sessions and the you know the play dates and all of the things that like you say they are really trying to support their child's development and
00:09:18
Speaker
They need that space to just take a moment and say, I am doing well. I am doing all that I can do. And I am enough, right? And I think that this is a message we need to be um embracing more, like both as practitioners and supporting our families and embracing that is just finding value in what you are doing for your child or in your practice, right? This cuts both ways. It's really important.
00:09:47
Speaker
The human mind is more likely, and I think we've all read this in research, to look at the negative, right? To look at what is not getting and getting done, what doesn't feel good. um We really need to reframe our thinking and say, you know what I got done this year is this, this, and this with my child. We've made some big strides in our work together on the playground or our work with our practitioners. And I think, you know, one thing that might really be helpful for practitioners to embrace is to really have that wrap around into the year time when you know you're coming up on that last session with your family is to make some space for them to like just say, let's look at everything that's happened for you and your child this year or the last six months, you however long you've been working with them to really support that way of thinking, preload. I think that would be very helpful.
00:10:42
Speaker
I love that. And we talk all the time about like journaling and you know how important it is to be reflective in our practice, which is a huge component of infant mental
Parent-Child Relationship and Positive Narratives
00:10:50
Speaker
health. And I think really having that yearly wrap up with families is a fantastic idea because you're focusing on those strengths. This is what I've seen. This is what you know, um you have been bringing to the table the time that you take in the morning to really support your child. ah I see that you are patient with them while you're working on potty training, all of these different things that you are seeing the families do because sometimes they don't recognize it or they don't give themselves enough credit. And it's nice to hear that from somebody else. And it really does focus on that strengths based approach too. Yeah, I think you're right. And I think the other thing is,
00:11:29
Speaker
Sometimes we can discount the progress that we're making, and I've worked with families ah in the past who have said this, like but that's such a little thing. you know But we need to encourage our families um in what they have met already with their child, those goals and those little steps that really add up to the big things. We need to just keep talking to them like you're saying, Lisa, give them that narrative, give them that supportive narrative like,
00:11:56
Speaker
I love it when I see you with your son and how you're really giving him the wait time that he needs to really use his words when you guys are in session. Just giving them the language for that and recognizing what they're doing is so encouraging. It's encouraging to the heart. It really is encouraging for them to like keep striving for all of the strategies that we're trying to implement with them and their families. And I think also for us as practitioners, right? Giving ourselves that self-talk is also important. Cheering ourselves on is important as well.
00:12:35
Speaker
Yeah, I think, you know, it's really about giving them compliments, pointing it out because you're building their own confidence then in those cases. It's just like, if you were wearing this nice sweater, and someone one says, Oh, I love your sweater that you're wearing today. When you put that sweater on next time, you're gonna be like, Oh, I know that I'm people like when I wear the sweater. And so when you use that example of telling a family, I love how you're using words and modeling that for your child, they're going to think about that again if somebody compliments ah them on how they're doing it and they're going to say, oh, okay, I know that I'm good at doing this. And so they're going to do it and practice it a lot more, right? Yeah. And I think when you marry that,
00:13:20
Speaker
giving them those positive narratives and complementing what you are seeing and highlighting it for them, forecasting it for them, right? Marrying that with also this ability to use reflective practice in your sessions with families and asking them, you know, how are you feeling about the sessions that we've had this year?
00:13:46
Speaker
I'm wondering how you're feeling about what has happened for you as a mom or a dad or a caregiver. And then also, how are you feeling about what you're seeing in your child's development right now? And making sure that we are giving space for that and holding space for the parents to think about that for a moment. And I think that that is one thing that I know in my professional work, it's like I'm on this go, go, go sometimes, but it's really important for us to step back, wait, take that breath, pose that question, and really allow that parent time to formulate their thoughts and really give you a considerate answer. Like really mull over, how am I thinking about that? How how do I feel about what has been happening for my child and I over the last
00:14:41
Speaker
six months or a year, however long they've been in session. um And to do the same for yourself as a practitioner. How will I feel like I'm showing up in this work with this family um and all of the families that I'm serving? you know How is it feeling to me? And am I fond and joy in what I'm doing and the services that I'm providing? And I think those are really good things for us to be considering is we're ending this year, Lisa, and we're starting into a new year because I think reflective practice and giving ourselves time for that is what keeps us in the game, right? And it's what keeps us supporting families and children in the ways they need to be supported.
00:15:29
Speaker
Yeah,
Reflection Tools and Parent Expertise
00:15:30
Speaker
I love that idea. I mean, I can almost even like picture it and visualize like what that might look like in the family's home and even just giving them here's a piece of paper and a pen. I just want you to kind of reflect back on the year and just write some of the things that kind of come to mind for you like some of the feelings some of the things that you've noticed, how you're feeling as a parent and really being reflective in those moments. Because I feel like the hardest part about being reflective is taking the time and being intentional about doing it. And so really just holding that space to be reflective in those moments will go a long way.
00:16:09
Speaker
Yeah. And I'll and I'll say too from like a scientific standpoint any time that and we're on computers and technology all of the time. Right. So this is a little bit of a reframe but that old fashioned old school way of putting pen to paper makes you process information very differently than when you're on your computer or your laptop. Right. So really putting that pen to paper and having parents have that opportunity to do that and for yourself.
00:16:38
Speaker
It's really important. I just finished a program, and this kind of relates to this. It just flooded back into my mind. I was supporting statewide reflective supervision and how important it is in human services. And one of the things that I did in the presentation was I gave everyone a very small mirror, and it what had an adhesive on the back. And I was like, this is just a symbol.
00:17:06
Speaker
to be reflective. When you see this mirror, think about what reflection what reflection can do for your lives and for your child's life and for your profession, right? However, you're really using this practice for yourself. And people really liked that. And that is something simply we could do, right? Just something that is a visual. So whether it's a note, a sticky note, something we print off and share with ourselves and with our families, those kind of prompts,
00:17:36
Speaker
really create big influence for people over time. I think, what do they say? It takes 30 days to do something consistently to make it a habit. um So if you have a visual sometimes, things like that really help to support the practice too.
00:17:51
Speaker
Right. I mean, and that really follows along the lines of adult learning practices and like really considering how those families learn their individual learning style. I know for me, like I love visual cues. I love being able to see things. It's great reminders for me.
00:18:07
Speaker
We've talked about this before, I think, you know about even helping families when we're working with them, maybe like just putting a post-it note over by and the light switch if they're working on on and off and you know getting that child to participate in that nightly routine. and so I love that you're really thinking about some of those visual cues as well. Yeah. and I think along with that, Lisa, like you're getting really specific on that note and that's so smart because one of the things we really need to be thinking about is Parents are the expert on their child, right? Yes. We may have expert content knowledge in this field that we can support them, but they are the experts on their child. No one is going to know their child better than them. And so to really encourage them to lean into their own expertise and body of knowledge about their child and what works for them
00:19:01
Speaker
And then offer supports that we say these may be also some things to consider, like some strategies that may support what you're already doing is really important because I think highlighting that for families like, hey, you were here before us. You know, you and your baby were here before we came in. So you already have a lot of knowledge and information or expertise in this relationship.
00:19:25
Speaker
and the capabilities of your child, and also those wishes, wonders, and worries that you have for your child. And that is something that we really need to make sure that we're offering up to parents. We really want to make sure that they are having opportunities to tell us, I worry about this for my child, I wish this for my child, and I wonder this for my child.
00:19:51
Speaker
And I think that sometimes it things get really busy in sessions and we can, you know, um not leave enough space for that. And so I just encourage everybody as we're moving into the new year to think about those three W's, right? Because that's a really powerful formula for us as practitioners and also for families and children.
00:20:16
Speaker
Absolutely, Tracy.
Cultural Sensitivity and Practical Support
00:20:17
Speaker
So we've really focused on some of these strategies for practitioners. We've talked about modeling our own self-care and boundaries, right really prioritizing ourselves, our own well-being, and really being able to give others that energy and that support that they need. right So we're taking care of ourselves first. We're setting those limits on those work-related demands during this holiday season. And then we are fostering hope in others. right So we talked about encouraging some of those strength-based approaches and helping families recognize their strengths and building on those successes. We're highlighting those small achievable goals and inspiring a lot of optimism. We're also really celebrating that progress and that resilience. We talked about doing like that yearly roundup, right, with them reflecting on that growth and that resilience that those families have demonstrated and creating some of those moments of connection and joy.
00:21:11
Speaker
I think, you know, another thing that we really need to be mindful about is um cultivating cultural sensitivity, right? ah Because we also know that families all They celebrate different holidays. There's different things that are coming up for them. So, for example, I have a family that doesn't celebrate Christmas or um any of the upcoming holidays. And so, you know, I've asked them, oh, tell me a little bit more. What are some big things that you do celebrate um based off of your religion? And so they've been able to share that with me. And I want to make sure that I keep that in mind when those kind of things come up that are meaningful and important for them.
00:21:53
Speaker
um and also making sure that we're offering them some of those resources to help align with some of their individual family traditions and values, right? Yeah, absolutely. So important. And the other thing that it really reminds me of, and this is always on my mind at this time of year, but understanding that the holiday season, is in although whatever you celebrate and whatever ways you celebrate, for some people that brings great joy,
00:22:21
Speaker
but for others it is a reminder of grief and loss. And I think as we open our heart space and our minds to the families and children that we're working with, recognizing that that may be the case with the families that you're currently working with. um And they may have share that information with you and they may not have. This is why our observation skills are so important you know, really leaning in and listening to what parents are saying to us, really checking the affect of families that we're working with and really pacing ourself to be in that moment with them, right? So if it seems like we're in a space of our season of time that is really a struggle for families, we don't want to be coming in being like hip-hip hooray and hoorah. You know, we want to like balance like how we're coming in with families
00:23:18
Speaker
and making sure that that sensitivity is there because there is also a lot of grief and loss during this season. And so being mindful of that is critically important as we're working with children and families and our colleagues.
00:23:34
Speaker
Thanks, Tracy. I think that's really important. I mean, we have to make sure that we are also providing some of that practical support for families too. And with that, you know, some of that coping that support that they might need, it might also be a financial strain right now that families are going through. I feel like everybody's kind of going through this whole financial crisis.
00:23:52
Speaker
But there are definitely things that we can do as practitioners, like providing community resources or any activities that are going on that are free and available to them that they might want to participate in. Like, for example, I just heard about this morning in our local area that they're doing a huge diaper drive for dads where they can go and they get diapers for the whole month.
00:24:14
Speaker
And so all the families that I'm seeing, I just sent them that link. I don't know who needs it or who doesn't need it because I feel like sometimes families are going to always tell us when they're struggling. And so I just share it with everyone. Like, this is a great resource for you that's out there. So it doesn't really put necessarily that extra stress of, oh, you know, like I'm telling my service provider um and they're feeling some type of way about being vulnerable like that as well.
00:24:43
Speaker
And I'm just offering those resources. I think that's really important. And I think um doing things like that supports families in a way that maybe in a conversation that that might be uncomfortable. But if we just have like resources that we can email them, we can hand off to them and and to create a sense of belonging in that, you know, I'm giving this to all the parents that I'm working with right now. it doesn't set families up for feeling other. And I think in a lot of situations, families do feel a lot of pressure um around these kinds of issues. Like if they feel like they can't provide everything they need to provide in a moment, um or they're wondering if they're providing enough, right? Whether that's material things, emotional things. I think anytime we can create that sense of belonging,
00:25:37
Speaker
um it's really important and valuable to them. And I think it goes much further than we recognize. Those are the kinds of things that, you know, they will remember like resources that we hand, they may not remember the resources we hand them or things like that, but they remember the person that you are and how you're making them feel every time that you're with them. That will stay with them for years and years after that relationship has dissolved.
00:26:05
Speaker
Absolutely. And I think that we have to really focus on normalizing these conversations, that everyone has these challenges, everyone has these feelings, and it's okay to have them.
Embracing Vulnerability and 'Being Enough'
00:26:17
Speaker
And so being vulnerable in the moments too and sharing.
00:26:21
Speaker
I think it helps kind of normalize a lot of that. I think we've talked about that too, like with our colleagues that we just, we don't always say how we're feeling. And Tracy, like we have a great relationship or like, okay, we just need to vent or just to check in and I'm just going to be completely honest. And I know that I can come to you because I can be vulnerable with you and you're not going to place any kind of judgment on me for anything that I may share. And I think it's really important to kind of cultivate those relationships and normalize those feelings because everybody has them. Yeah, and 100% and it it's it is a gift when you can give one another that. And when I think about the families and children that we're serving, a lot of times, a lot of the families that work at feel very isolated, right? um And what they're going through and how their child may be developing or how they're developing as a family. And so I think that
00:27:15
Speaker
One of the things we want to do is just so always create that space for them. And as you say, normalize feeling vulnerable because that is just a human feeling. That is just something that we we all are in that space at some times. And I think that when we can sit comfortably, and that's another piece of this, Lisa, is really can you sit comfortably as a practitioner and allow someone to be vulnerable with you.
00:27:45
Speaker
and prompt to that is really, really important. um I think this practice of like sitting alongside um the families that we are working with is really important. Just sit alongside those families and when they're feeling vulnerable, be comfortable enough to really be there um in that moment and and just extend that to them. Just extend that space ah because there is a lot of time and places that they probably do not feel safe or comfortable um to be able to do that. And I think if we keep our eye on the ball as practitioners and we realize we've had this relationship with the family for six months or a year, that might be the most consistent relationship that they have right now. We don't know.
00:28:39
Speaker
So offering that and being comfortable yourself with the uncomfortable as a practitioner is really important in our work. being comfortable with the uncomfortable. And that is so true too, Tracy. And I feel like sometimes we have a hard time because we're like, oh, we're not doing enough. We're not helping enough. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves as practitioners. Like, am I doing enough? Am I providing enough support to families? And we have to take our own guilt off of the plate. you know, and just normalize that. Like, it's okay. We have all felt like that. And you are doing the best that you can. And really work on building yourself up in your confidence as well. Absolutely. And I think when we do it for ourselves as practitioners, Lisa, we're also giving it to our parents. Because if we can make, you know, and and families, if we can make this space for ourselves to say, I am doing the best I can do.
00:29:40
Speaker
I'm offering what I can offer in this moment, and I am enough. I am enough. When we can do that for ourselves, we can encourage our families and caregivers to say, I i am enough. You know, I am enough. And that is the best gift that you can give your child and your son.
00:30:04
Speaker
And so we've kind of talked about some of those strategies for caregivers and what we could do to help support them too, like focusing on inclusivity and connection, really acknowledging and managing that stress.
00:30:19
Speaker
practicing that gratitude and that positivity, creating a balanced schedule. That's one we haven't talked about yet, but I think it's really, really important. And I will share with you one thing that I did recently with the family was we looked at the temperament scale, the IT3.
00:30:37
Speaker
infant toddler temperament. And i what I love about it is because it looks at the caregiver and their temperament traits and then it looks at the child's and their temperament traits and then the goodness of it. But one of the big aha moments during that time was that this um caregiver didn't really have a balanced like schedule or routine and nothing was very predictable, which caused a lot of anxiety Right? And so we talked about even creating that balance schedule to provide that predictability, to provide that safe space, something a little bit more calming as well for them. And so creating that balance schedule is really going to help them also know what's coming. I think one of the big things, especially with our family, we have a lot of events.
00:31:27
Speaker
all the time And I feel like but we used to, when the kids were little, like we would go from our house in the morning to my husband's house and his family's house in the morning. And then we would have to go to another family's house after that. And it was just so much. And i we got to the point where my husband and I were like, okay, hold on. Is this something that we want to do? This is causing a lot of unnecessary stress for us. And we also feel like,
00:31:55
Speaker
The kids, we don't get to really enjoy them as much yeah on Christmas Day because we're going from place to place to place. And so we stopped that. And so we started limiting what we were going to do on Christmas Day. And we had to be okay with that. We hate letting people down, but we're like, you know what? It's okay because this is what's best for our family. Yeah. And I think that that balance schedule is so important like year round, but even more particular when we are trying to you know, for families who are so celebrating holidays or if this is the time of year that they get together more often, for example, you're exactly right. You're just trying to pile in, right? You're watching your calendar fill up. And it really turns into these, I think, to practice these moments of wonder. And I've had so many families over the years when their children just become totally dysregulated, like during this period of time, like,
00:32:51
Speaker
before Thanksgiving to New Year's in particular. And they'll say, I just really don't know what is different, you know. I don't know what is different and what's causing these behaviors right now or changing his eating habits or his sleeping
Balanced Schedules and Quality Time
00:33:06
Speaker
habits, right? All of these things that we know are so important for us and for the children. And I would say, let's look at it. Give me an example of one of the times that you're speaking of, you know. And then walking families, I think, through an example, you know, like, well,
00:33:21
Speaker
When I say we need to get in the car and we're going to go run an errand and they just like really melt and they throw themselves on the grass and they don't want to get in, I fight them to get them in the car seat, you know, and I'm just thinking, talking them through that, helping them wonder why that behavior and where it's coming from, wondering why it happened and where it came from, get to the root of that. And even for our own selves, I mean, I think My goodness, the the years that I spent like just running and doing and not eating, and then I was like, oh, but I have a three-year-old, she needs to eat. like Even if I don't eat, she needs to eat. But sometimes we get in that wheel of going and doing, and yeah it can really dismantle good regulation,
00:34:07
Speaker
not just for our children, but for us, right? And anytime that we are really, you know, feeling stirred from that infant mental health perspective, right? Our children are feeling that, they're in that space with us. And so they really pick up on those vibes and those feelings. And so if we are dysregulated, they too will be dysregulated. And so I think you're right, just slowing it down a bit and giving some grace to ourselves saying no normalizing no normalizing limits for ourselves and if you miss an event you know you miss an event there may be an opportunity next year for that event but otherwise you miss the time that you really want with your children and families I think. Absolutely because I mean really
00:35:00
Speaker
kids are going to feed off of our stress and how we're feeling. And what happens sometimes, especially for those children that are very strong willed, when the caregiver is feeling that pressure of go, go, go, there becomes a lot more power struggles, right, between the caregiver and the child because they're fighting for control. And so we do need to be a little bit more like reflective on that, but also give us that space to say no, so that we can practice some of that self care or just kind of, you know, regulate ourselves a little bit better. I think, you know,
00:35:34
Speaker
When we think about supporting families too, we want to make sure that they are focusing on creating more of those meaningful moments, right? Rather than striving for perfection because perfection does not exist. And so if we can bring more of that quality into those relationships, and that's what infant mental health is all about really nurturing and being responsive in those relationships.
00:36:01
Speaker
I think that is really the moment that the children will reflect on as they get older. When you think about what are happy times, you think about those moments. I think about family vacations. I think about family games that we've played together.
00:36:17
Speaker
I don't think about the big presents. I can tell you that my kids probably don't even know what they got for Christmas last year. And I couldn't even tell you what I got them, honestly. And so I think those moments and that togetherness is really the most important thing and how we are really being mindful of being present in those moments.
00:36:40
Speaker
Yeah, and I think Lisa, you know, one of the things you're hitting on there that I think is really true, whether you celebrate a holiday or not, but really building rituals and routines into your family's life, whether that surrounds your everyday, which we know is very healthy for children and families to have those consistent routines, you know, to really support their development. But also even around like holiday seasons, which a lot of people will be celebrating,
00:37:10
Speaker
Creating the rituals around those, it's not about that big present as you talk about or that big event really, but really spending that time and being mindful of maybe the few days that we do have off that we can back away from our work calendars or pull them out of childcare and just have them at home with us. That's really what we want to be thinking about. And one of the things that I have really encouraged folks to embrace over the last couple of years is this idea of being the good enough parent.
Conclusion and Wishes for the New Year
00:37:46
Speaker
I am a good enough parent. I am a good enough practitioner, you know. And this is something that we need to be embracing more because it, you right, it's not about this idea of perfection. If we're striving for that, we're going to come up short every time because it's just not human nature. But when we say, I'm good enough,
00:38:09
Speaker
You know, we had a nice meal together tonight. You know, I really heard what my child was saying or we played a game together. We read a book together. Just being that good enough parent or practitioner, just spend some time thinking about what that means to you.
00:38:27
Speaker
Thanks, Tracy. So we are going to get ready to wrap up, you know, and by nurturing that hope and that balance, hopefully with both families and practitioners, you can all embrace this holiday season with a lot greater peace and harmony, fostering a supportive and compassionate environment in your home and the family's homes as well.
00:38:47
Speaker
Do you have any last minute thoughts, Tracy? I'm just hoping that for everybody 2025 will bring peace. um It will help you to reflect on all of the good that you are doing in your family and in your communities. And I hope that over the next few weeks and coming days, you'll be able to surround yourself with the ones that you love the most.
00:39:10
Speaker
Yes, I think one of the biggest things that I'm gonna do after kind of talking today is really looking at being purposeful about finding the joy in every day. What was something that was joyful today? And I'm gonna look for it, right? Because I think those are such special moments. Even if I'm at the grocery store and I'm seeing a cute interaction between a parent and a child, what are those joyful moments that we're seeing? Absolutely. So thank you everyone.
00:39:39
Speaker
Yes, thank you everyone so much. That's all for today's episode of meaningful moments. Thanks for listening and joining us today. Join us next time again, and we are actually going to share a little bit more information about understanding behavior. So make sure you subscribe to the podcast on iTunes or Spotify.
00:39:57
Speaker
For more information, you can visit VEIPD's website for resources, tools, any kind of archived webinars. You can also visit VAME for additional resources, and you'll find those links in our description. Thank you so much. Have a great holiday season. Bye, all.