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Ep. 63 Whatever you do, don’t think!
102 Plays2 years ago
Don't think.. Don't think..
Don't think.. Don't think..
Don't think.. Don't think..
Don't think.. Don't think..
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Transcript
Join the Hired Swords Discord!
00:00:01
Speaker
Hey friends, it's your number one favorite paladin, Captain Krigs!
00:00:06
Speaker
I just wanted to stop in for half a second, say that this episode was too good to try and find a way to split it in two different halves. I couldn't make that work. So next week we'll be getting back to our review reads, so don't fret about that. And secondly, wanted to say that we just opened our Hired Swords Discord. If you wanted to hop in, talk with the gang,
00:00:32
Speaker
See some spoilers and just have a great time. You can find a link to the actual Discord itself on our Twitter page right there pinned at the top. Hope to see you there and enjoy the show.
Recap of Past Adventures
00:00:54
Speaker
Previously on the Hired Swords I have no idea what Gwen's gotten us into this time.
00:01:03
Speaker
but I trust her intuition. If this is linked to some ancient elven city of hers, well, it'd be the first time I've ever seen elves take to being underground. But who knows? Onward we go, I guess.
00:01:32
Speaker
You're
Welcome and Character Introductions
00:01:41
Speaker
listening to the hired swords. Did you miss me? No? Oh. Okay.
00:02:14
Speaker
Okay. I shall begin our, uh, little episode here. Ready? Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the high. I'm just going to keep going of the hired swords. We are glad I'm here and we're all ready apparently to do this. That's some latency for you. Yeah, for sure. Uh, nobody's even in a hotel this time, but, uh, yeah, we're here actually.
00:02:42
Speaker
Some of us are closer to each other than normal, but still not in the same room together. Right. I'm going to cause it down the road. Yeah. As we, as we record this episode. Wow. And, uh, yeah, I'm with Ash. Hi, Ash. Howdy. I just took a drink of something. What do you play in this game? But hello. Who are you playing this game? Um, Devin. Okay. Oh yeah. That's right. And Derek.
00:03:11
Speaker
is here too, speaking of Daven. I'm surrounded by women's clothes. That's, that's funny. I usually am because my wife keeps the drying rack in here for her laundry in my office. Uh, you play Daven, right? Is that still true? Yes. Uh, I might play Gwen depending on what she does. Yeah. Okay. And Blaze is here. I tried really hard to think of something funny to say, but what's up? Well, that is funny that you tried so hard and Mikey's here.
00:03:41
Speaker
Welcome to the show. I play jocks. I'm a musical dance member. Yeah. This is our musical episode. This is the musical. I'm scrolling with a top hat and a cane and just like, welcome to the show. Hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. It's good. Come on and watch the swords. Or listen, at least.
Exploring the Enchanted Cave
00:04:02
Speaker
Well, when you last listened to the swords, you heard us
00:04:08
Speaker
have this little bit of exploration in the cave where we found some dead hired swords including one who was a leader of a party a known sorcerer with a gemstone on his staff we discovered this we found the hired swords coins on them and then through some getting through some deceptive magic we were able to find a
00:04:29
Speaker
some etchings on the wall that kind of revealed that this was a forward operating base of sorts for elves who would come from somewhere and hang out here, camp here during missions or things like that. And they had written on the walls and they'd carved some things in the walls that were very common to that sort of forward operating base kind of location. But then after further investigation, we found a tunnel.
00:04:56
Speaker
underneath some more illusion on the walls and this tunnel led us down into a dark dank wet mossy narrow increasingly narrow tunnel way towards a small ladder that climbed down into this small
00:05:14
Speaker
10 foot by 10 foot room covered in moss and fungus and other things like this. Well, this room was filled with spores from this fungus that then caused all of our hired swords to be able to hear each other's thoughts. And that is where we left off. So you guys are standing in this about 10 foot circular room with a door at one end and that tunnel about 10 foot above you at the behind you.
Gwen’s Quest for Al Menorah
00:05:42
Speaker
Gwendolyn has just started walking through the tunnel doorway ahead of you, and the rest of you hear her thinking about heading towards Almanora. She's walking that way. And you were all thinking, what? What do you guys hear in each other's minds? I think my overall thought process is, Gwen, just get Gwen.
00:06:11
Speaker
I am in shock. You just hear heavy breathing in her mind. Just, Oh my God. I, I made it. Okay. What about you? Do we realize that we can hear each other's thoughts by this point? You, you may not be able to, you may be thinking you're just hearing them speak, but you definitely are hearing each other.
00:06:39
Speaker
Yeah, and some of them probably doesn't realize it. Oh, and I just I just let attention. I let Craig's fall, huh? Sure did, bud. Yeah, he fell about 10 feet. So imagine he's he's thinking about that. I I was so focused on my thoughts. Don't tell me what I'm thinking. I'm you know, I'm just I'm just saying.
00:07:02
Speaker
But yeah, no, I am, I am fully focused and running straight towards Gwen. What is Gwen doing? Devin's probably thinking, I wonder if the others, those dead ones, I found this place. God, I can't wait to get out of here. I mean, maybe I thought that whenever I came in, I, I assumed that they found this place, Devin. What are you, what are you talking about? Is he losing his mind? I think.
00:07:29
Speaker
My mind is perfectly fine. You just said that you thought maybe the ones in the previous room had found this place. Why are you guys so loud? And you guys hear in your mind, wait a second. Can you hear what I'm thinking? That doesn't make any sense unless it's...
00:07:52
Speaker
Yes. And then I'll turn around. You're way over there. And that's what I'm thinking. I didn't actually say anything other than stutters. I may have been closer if you didn't let me fall, Krigs thinks. Nice. I was heading. Where?
00:08:18
Speaker
Where are we? I just say out loud. You hear Gwen say Al Menorah in her mind. Devon thinks triangle, triangle. Hey, everybody. What was the last thing you heard me say? I mean... Triangle? Did you say triangle? I did not say triangle, no. I don't trust these fungi. Can I...
00:08:47
Speaker
I guess make a perception roll. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody make insight checks. And while you're making your checks, you're starting to hear little snickers in your mind. Oh, that's a nat one. That's a five from old Kriggle's who also just thought to himself that he doesn't have time for these games. I got a nat one. Three natural ones. Oh, no.
00:09:18
Speaker
We're just hearing your thoughts. True. Would someone stop laughing? You just keep hearing that as you guys are kind of fumbling around with your thoughts and trying to decide what's happening. And did anyone roll higher than a 10? No, I rolled a five and I was the highest. Yeah, that's what I thought. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So yeah, you guys are still looking at each other like, what in the world is going on? And you just hear,
00:09:50
Speaker
in your mind. Krigs. Krigs thinks to himself, something about these spores really, uh, the light they emanate, this bioluminescence really does something to the color of Devon's eyes. Spores. And then Joxer immediately throws his, uh, cloak over as well. I never see a mushroom in the face. Devon thinks, God, Krigs is filthy. How do you just get on the ground like that is disgusting. This light is horrible. I beg your pardon. Could it get any grinder in here?
00:10:20
Speaker
What are you talking about? Let's just go. Let's go. Let's get out of here. There's something weird about this room. It creeps him out. Too much echo or something going on. Craig thinks to himself, did he just call me stinky? You do stink. You stink, he thinks to himself yet again. Yes, I do stink. We've been traveling. Can everybody? Why are they so distracted by weather? Nevermind. Why do we always wind up in- I opened the door, right?
00:10:47
Speaker
Yeah, you're headed down the hallway. It's on a super long hallway, so we'll get there. The whole time they're having these conversations, Gwen, you are kind of slowly walking through this hallway with, and in your mind, like as you think about Almanora and you think about what you're expecting to find, you're not seeing that.
Challenges in the Underground
00:11:06
Speaker
You are seeing it get more and more
00:11:10
Speaker
unnatural as far as like it's not just natural stone walls it's it's built stone here somebody has built something you're still underground but you're inside of a building of some kind it seems like that has been set up underground and you're in this hallway when you come to a kind of T in the hallway and to the left you look then there's a doorway that leads into a what looks like it might be
00:11:37
Speaker
probably some kind of dining room. There's a rug, there's stone floors, there's a bench, like a picnic table kind of table with benches and it is covered in fungus, I mean colorful fungus that just kind of is all over the place. And to the right you see another room that kind of goes into, you can see into that room and you can see the foot of beds, several beds kind of lined up against the walls inside there and then ahead of you
00:12:03
Speaker
And again, that's also filled with fungus. Just everything you're seeing here is just covered in this fungus and these large mushroom looking fungi. And they are in ahead of you. You hear now the sound of rushing water just loud, like a rushing river ahead of you. And you can see about 15 feet ahead, the banks of this river flowing. But there are these stone walls. So it's like a hallway to the end of a river that ends at a river.
00:12:31
Speaker
And then left and right, you see doorways with these two rooms. The left side is like a dining hall looking place. The right side looks like a bunch of beds. As much as Ashley wants to go and explore these rooms, Gwendolyn is probably going to go towards the Russian water, because she's probably just thinking to herself, it's all an illusion. It has to be just like the hole we found to get here.
00:12:58
Speaker
Albinori is here and she just goes towards the rushing water. Well, father. And everyone hears her thinking these things as you guys start to head through the doorway behind her and moving a little faster, you're catching up and not quite caught up to her as she moves ahead past these two doorways. You pass another doorway. That's it's not a doorway. It's just like more hallway to the right that looks like it curves into a circular room to the right hand side past this bunk, the place with all the beds.
00:13:26
Speaker
and then you're standing right on the banks of this river. You can't see across the river, but you see stones that look like stepping stones leading across, but they're covered in moss and this river is just flowing hard and heavy across here really fast. Gwen, maybe slow down. We got to think about this and I'll just rush across the water. Do I hear him or am I too far? You can hear him in your mind.
00:13:53
Speaker
Yeah, jocks are honestly like, if we could just think about something for once, we just talked about this. I think that's when Glendolin turns around and notices that they're not right behind her. Did I just hear our friends out loud? She goes, how are you guys doing this? You hear in your head, that water is making me have to pee.
00:14:16
Speaker
Well, I know it's Al Menorah. She doesn't. She just wants to believe it is. She's grasping for it because it must be. And she goes towards it. Chris, thanks to himself, you should have gone before we left. Devin just glares at him for a second. Then he hollers out and he's like, Gwen, hold on. We can go across that way. We just got to make sure it's safe first. That water's really strong.
00:14:39
Speaker
You guys can come up, if she's spent any time at all standing here, you guys can come up behind her. You guys will come up behind her unless she just goes straight across. It's up to her how quickly. You probably need 30 seconds of standing there for them to catch up to you. She probably goes up towards the edge before. Oh, look, more mushrooms. All right. Krigs thinks to himself, dear gods, please don't let her do anything rash.
00:15:10
Speaker
She's just inching closer and closer to this water. You hear her you hear him think that Gwendolyn and you guys do still see the spores floating around more and more the deeper you get into this place. It's almost like it's creating its own fog. There's so much of it. And you're still hearing every now and then. Okay, like that.
00:15:34
Speaker
I think I'll end up thinking once I see her stop, it's more of a, oh, oh, thank, thank, thank, thank, thank everyone. And then as I hear that laugh, I can't remember if I did, but I will do Mage Armor again. Just terror. Man. Okay. Mushroom salad sounds nice. Oh, that's a good idea, Joxer, and I'll cast Mage Armor too. This feels like a trap.
00:16:03
Speaker
Nice the two boys suddenly these two boys suddenly start having this little bit of a radiant glow with this magical armor around them. And you guys did also see as you walk towards the water to your left and right these other rooms and they have the right hand side looked like it had like a bunk room kind of with with beds and the left hand side was like a dilapidated table that had kind of started to fall apart and
00:16:30
Speaker
Yeah, I think, I think Joxer didn't, he just went straight after, uh, when, so you hear in Gavin's mind, there might be something good in these rooms and then he'll say it loud. Maybe we should check these rooms to see if there's anything, you know, useful to help us get across. What is this place? I wonder how old this stuff is.
00:16:49
Speaker
That's not a bad idea. Definitely check. Gwen, are you just... And then I'll look over the edge and see if there's any other way across.
00:17:03
Speaker
Gwen's oh I'll wait I just She kind of stops and then in her mind. She just starts thinking I'm here. I made it I finally this has to be it and While she's waiting she goes she goes through her journal to see if she's ever heard of this river or cave or anything any recollection Make a history check or an investigation check
00:17:30
Speaker
Have I, at any point, started to pick up that, like, hearing Daven say the same thing twice felt strange to me. You can make an insight check on that now. Okay. Nat 20. So 22. Nice, nice, nice. 10 plus 5.15, my insight. All right. Gwen, you find in your Daz scrawlings, you find writings about
00:18:01
Speaker
the elves using forward operating bases to have fully stocked locations for them to stay prepared so they could move ahead if they needed to in battle. And so this is seeming to be something like what he talked about. And they often have some sort of magical resources involved in there as well as
00:18:27
Speaker
just things that they want to protect, but also a place that they feel like they could protect themselves. Gavin's going to move into the room with the bunk beds. All right, great. You go into the bunk bed room and you see eight beds laying there. They're just disheveled, you know, sheets, blankets, pillows kind of thrown like just laying there, but they're kind of dilapidated.
00:18:54
Speaker
things are kind of torn up. You can see where moss and stuff has kind of grown over most of it. Mold has kind of set into much of the mattresses and the pillows. There is this green and green and orange and yellow and light blue fungus that is growing here and there on everything. And make a perception check as you look around in there too. I thought this would lead us to Al Menorah. All right. Perception check is a 13.
00:19:25
Speaker
Okay, so as you're looking around, you kind of notice that some of these mushroom collection, some of these areas of mushroom have kind of collected and gathered where they form almost like the shape of a creature, like almost here and there. You can see them kind of setting like almost the shape of something that's got legs and it's just sitting there, but it's just sitting there. It's not moving. It's not doing anything crazy.
00:19:52
Speaker
And, uh, you're, you just see them just kind of sitting there in amongst the other pieces of fungus that are growing in here. How many mushrooms are in this cave? Daven's not going to think too much of that right now. He's looking around to see if there's anything. Number one, that looks valuable. And number two, that looks like it would help get across the river. Okay. Investigation check is allowed here. Uh, whatever came up. You rolled a 15 to do what Craig's I'm sorry.
00:20:21
Speaker
Uh, after I had heard Devin basically repeat, he said, I was curious if something was amiss. Yeah. You definitely realize that you're hearing what he's thinking. Okay. Devin, what was your, the six, the six. Uh, yeah, you're, you're having trouble finding anything other than moss and fungus in here. It's just kinda kind of a gross, wet,
00:20:50
Speaker
mucky basement-y kind of sleeping area. Nothing in this room. He'll come back out. Anybody else look around, see anything? Don't think about the necklace. I've gone up to where the water is and trying to investigate if there's anything across. OK. Make a perception check. OK.
00:21:20
Speaker
Currently having realized that I think I'm hearing thoughts, I'm doing everything in my power to just not think. Okay. Which is probably really loud. I used a luck because I rolled another one and that was a 16. Okay. Yeah. You can see that if you look at where the skipping stones kind of go,
00:21:47
Speaker
the mist and everything from how fast this rivers flowing makes it a little difficult to see but you do see an embankment but it's hard to tell if it's more if it's 30 40 maybe 50 feet across it's hard to tell for sure but there's a little it's a little bit far from here and and that water is rushing pretty quickly but you look it looks like with some care and some kind of delicate stepping you could probably get across these skipping stones or stepping stones to get there okay
00:22:16
Speaker
You guys hear in your head, I guess I'll do all the work over here and Devin crosses across the
Crossing the River with Magic
00:22:21
Speaker
way. I'll check this room too. Okay. So you go into the second of three rooms in this area. And this second one is this dining area and the dining area, you see what was some candle, like a candelabra against the far wall. This room itself here is about 30 feet long and about 20 feet wide, a rectangle.
00:22:44
Speaker
And the table is about half that size sitting in the middle of the room with a rug that spans almost the entire room. There's a small counter almost against the back left corner of the room.
00:23:02
Speaker
it's kind of bursting with these fungus that have kind of grown out from the drawers and stuff as this thing looks like it is rotting. The table's rotting away, there's fungus and moss and things growing all over it as well. And again, you see little bits and some of this stuff that has kind of coalesced and I don't know, possibly looks like it might, there might be like they've grown into something a little more than just the little individual tiny little mushroom plants.
00:23:31
Speaker
Or this almost looks like a creature of some sorts. It's like both Krigs' worst nightmare and best friend at the same time. Krigs is so dirty. You'll hear in your head, those stones look super slippery. I don't know. Maybe we could get across and just use a, what about friend? What? Can I make another insight check?
00:23:53
Speaker
I'm like in another room. Yeah. Everyone else can make insight checks for sure. And yeah, low DC. Just beaten eight. Okay. 14. Is this what they were trying to show me? You did it. Gwen, what did you roll? Insight check. 16. You guys all realize almost simultaneously, you're like, we're hearing each other's thoughts. And then you, once everybody kind of,
00:24:21
Speaker
gets that thought and realizes, you hear in your minds, finally. Who was that? I think just naturally. Yeah, I think I'll look over and... Gwen. Wait, did I think that? No, am I thinking that... No, Gwen. How can I hear their thoughts?
00:24:41
Speaker
You hear Devin say, don't think about the necklace. Don't think about the necklace. I look here. My thoughts to thinking about the necklace. I just say out loud. Oh, then why would you be thinking about the necklace? Gwen is thinking probably because it got exploded. Craig's. Thanks. It probably didn't get exploded. Who's that voice coming from? Do you guys hear that? What? I heard some voice. I think I heard Gwen laughing. It was weird.
00:25:11
Speaker
I wasn't laughing. Why would he think I was laughing? I wonder if that was Dale that Krigs thinks to himself. Don't think about the necklace. Gwendolyn remembers the weird encounter she had with Dale. Daven really shouldn't think about the necklace. Krigs, thanks. If we could just stop talking about the necklace. This is getting weird, guys. I pull out Dale. Can I hear what he's thinking?
00:25:41
Speaker
No, you don't think you hear anything from Dale. Did you say there think something about a friend for cricks? Is that what happened? Daven? What? What are you talking about? Why is Joxer's lips not moving? Oh, Gwen Shirley. She's figured it out by now. She can't be that dumb. I'm not dumb.
00:26:07
Speaker
I'm, Devin says that I'm sorry. We kind of, we gotta stop this. Let's get out of here as quickly as we can. Yeah. Um, uh, did you find anything in the rooms? I just yell, I guess. I don't know. I'm confused. Did you come out of the dining room? Uh, no, I'm going to use precedent, not presentation. I'm going to use May Chan to try and pull the drawers open. Okay. Does the sound of him doing magic, like, does that the thought process of actually channeling do anything audibly?
00:26:36
Speaker
to my brain. What is, what are the, what components are needed for Mage Hand? Uh, none anymore. Cause I've upgraded it with the feet. So I don't have to do anything. No, he, he just, it's just like instinctual for him when he wants to react to just does it. And so you do, you reached your, your Mage Hand reaches and you're, you say you're, what are you doing with your Mage Hand? Uh, pulling open the drawers.
00:27:01
Speaker
Yeah, so you reach for the drawers and when you pull, sure enough, a little creature about the size of a rat climbs out of the drawer, skitters across the wall and goes under a hole in the wall. And you could barely make out, it looked like a series of these mushrooms, but it was a little creature and it scurries away. And as you look in the, it kind of startles you as it runs off and you look down in the drawer and you just see a small wooden framed mirror.
00:27:31
Speaker
could have sworn us on. Oh, that was creepy. I'm gonna go and look at the mirror. Okay, it just looks like a normal mirror. There's a wooden frame it's painted with looks like vines and things and like maybe it was there's like little chunks of it that look green like maybe it was painted green and and there's like the rays in the wood that makes it look like vines and stuff which is still pretty prevalent.
00:27:55
Speaker
And then the mirror itself is kind of murky and it looks like it's just really thin polished metal that has been shined to be a mirror, but the shine has started to wear off. So it's kind of like looking at yourself in an aluminum sheet or something, aluminum foil. You see kind of almost your face, but not really. I'm going to use mage hand to lift that up and kind of rotate it around and just make sure there's nothing like stuck to the back or anything.
00:28:21
Speaker
Yeah, the back is covered with moss, like this green moss and kind of rot. And you can actually see a hole in the wood on the back that is rotted through to the metal and the piece of tin, the polished tin there. And it's not polished on that backside, but it doesn't look like anything's weird other than it's just old and it's been in here in this dank wet kind of area for a long time. And, uh, yeah. I'm not cut out for this. You hear Craig just think to himself,
00:28:49
Speaker
I wonder what he means by that. Hey guys, do you have any use for a mirror? What does it look like? Uh, Devin will come out of the room and he'll have it just like floating next to him in the year. I will probably stare at it and probably put my hand towards it. Do I feel any arcane magic coming off of it? Make an arcana check. That's what I was trying to ask without saying, Hey, I want to do this check. That's all right. That's how it's supposed to work. Okay, great.
00:29:21
Speaker
Play it where it lies. I definitely heard that one fall off the table. Yeah, definitely. That's a golf rule. Play it where it lies. Seven plus six. Thirteen. Thirteen. Yeah. All right. Thirteen. You don't really get any magical vibes off of it. The wood itself,
00:29:51
Speaker
seems to be unique to you as maybe it is capable of it kind of gives you these this like I don't know some things seem like they can be imbued with magic easier than others this seems like it might be that the wood of this mirror but you don't sense any magical magical aura about it at all
00:30:16
Speaker
it it it felt elven but i i don't know well you can have it if you want it's a full disclosure though there was some sort of a mushroom rat sitting on top of it i think oh that's fine and she'll take the mirror okay gregs tries to sidestep the mirror to where he doesn't really feel like um seeing himself in the mirror okay
00:30:45
Speaker
As long as no one drops it,
To Help or Not to Help?
00:30:47
Speaker
we'll be fine. Joxer kind of laps to himself in his mind. All right. Should we try and get across this river?
00:30:57
Speaker
Yeah, I wonder if anybody could make, it looks like there's a bank over there. Um, maybe we could use the brew hole again. And if someone could confidently make it to the other side without jumping on these rocks. I mean, all of us have wings, I suppose. Some form, some way form or fashion. It takes a little bit out of me to do that though. It's not just like the easiest thing in the world.
00:31:26
Speaker
I might be able to figure something out if that's the direction we want to take. About how far does it look across? I can't remember. It was hard to tell if it was 30, 50, maybe more feet. It was kind of hard to tell, but you can definitely see a bank across the way. It doesn't look ridiculously far.
00:31:49
Speaker
cavernous area that we're in, do I feel confident enough that a span of wings wouldn't just become crashing into walls or anything? Yeah. There's really not a lot of distance where you're standing. It's about a five foot wide hallway. But ahead of you, it opens up to where the ceiling goes up about 25 feet.
00:32:14
Speaker
And to your left and right, it starts to open up even more to where you see just almost like this forest of really high fungus and stuff growing on the embankment of this river on your side. And then it grows up to this kind of cliff face wall of the tunnel that kind of goes up to the ceiling of the tunnel up about 20, 25 feet high with stalactites hanging up there and stuff like that.
00:32:45
Speaker
I mean, we could all just try to jump across the rocks and the... Maybe they can help. I don't know. I don't know if they can help. Shh. Don't say anything. Just don't. Stop it. Show yourself. I just say out loud being like kind of nervous to go across this water and honestly trust myself, even though I just said like I can take care of it. I don't think I can take care of it, but I don't want to think that. So I'm going to just start confronting whatever is talking.
00:33:14
Speaker
Okay. I don't want to think about how weak I actually am. So I'm, I'm just becoming like, not angry, but combative with whatever is whatever voice I'm hearing. I just, I just need to just show yourself. I hear you talking. Don't think I don't hear you. We hear you too. I think to myself, then show yourself. I think I'll think how long have you been here?
00:33:47
Speaker
What is long? What is how long? We, we are, we just are. Where are you? We are here. You are here and we are here. Okay. Can I see you? You can see us. You see us. They always see us. Why is it that every place we go has creepy things crying, trying to crawl into our minds?
00:34:18
Speaker
I guess not just our minds with Del Maro's his. Craig thinks to himself this didn't happen to me until I ran into you guys. What was that? Nothing. Craig's just been so cranky lately. I agree and he's really dirty too.
00:34:44
Speaker
You could fix that, you know, complaining about it. Like what, why do you, why does he always complain about it and not use? All of you just stop thinking for one second. Where, who are you? Who, who am I talking to? We are, we are, we, we are here. You are here. Will you help? Will you help? Help. You could help. Will you help? Well, what helped you need? She,
00:35:16
Speaker
She needs us, but we don't want her. We don't want her. We don't want her. Want who? She needs us, but shh. Stop it. We can't. We can't. We can't. We can't. We can't. You know, we can't. We can't. You can't. She needs us, but we need her. We don't need her. We need her. You can't. We honestly... I feel like we come in peace. Craig thinks to himself, I feel like that anyway. Maybe... Maybe we can help if you...
00:35:45
Speaker
Well, maybe we can reach some kind of mutually beneficial agreement. I don't know. How long you said you've been here and have always been here? There is we. When there is we, there's always we. Only we. We are. She is now. But we always are. Who is she? What is her name?
00:36:12
Speaker
What is name? Name is what we call ourselves. What we bear to our friends. It makes us who we are. She is she.
00:36:36
Speaker
We don't know names. We are we, and she is she, and... Well, we. I am Soffron Imboreau. That is my name. It was the name given to me upon my creation. We. You're hearing your voice. You're in your head. I like Craig... Craig looks colder better. This is the name that was given to me when I came to be. I was not always.
00:37:05
Speaker
I became now and I'm still now. How has she come to be? She grew and we grew, but we grew then. She grows now. I'd like to look around and see if I can see any creatures around us.
00:37:29
Speaker
I'm basically just talking to air at this point. Make an investigation or making perception checks. Anybody who wants to see if you can see what you're talking to. Definitely doing that. Mind you, most of the conversation that I'm having is verbal, even though I hear the responses. Yeah, you don't hear. Nobody hears any responses with your ears at all. It's just the sound of this loud rushing river. Devin got a 15.
00:37:59
Speaker
I got a 16 plus something that is in a character sheet hidden away on a tab somewhere on my computer. You said perception? 17 total.
00:38:14
Speaker
Yeah you guys as you kind of look around you see in the opening to your right that goes down like a small hallway into the circular room as you look you see what looks like the human size. Like the size of a human head right at a head level to you Davin you see this mushroom like almost face pull back out of the out of the.
00:38:40
Speaker
Um, around the corner, whenever it notices you looking around, you just barely catch a little pull back away into that space. That's beyond that little hallway. Devin immediately thinks what would be the best fight fire, ice, probably fire. Dang it. Devin, Devin, Devin, Devin. I'm not going to talk to anybody. I'm just thinking ahead of time. I just do that sometimes. Sorry. Sorry. He, my, my friend, we, we, we, we, we, we, he's.
00:39:10
Speaker
Listen not to him. It's been a long journey for us all. You say you were made to be then. Do you understand time, concept of time, the passing of days, nights, years? Chuxer's mind goes, why doesn't he just ask what they want? We want no her.
00:39:40
Speaker
Maybe Daven was right. Me? Uh, no, Gwen. Hearing that, Gwen, think me or say me, is we is? Is she here now? Here, yes. Yes. Is she one of the four of us? Um,
00:40:09
Speaker
Us? Well, the four of us that we were not always here, we were not always there, but we are here now. Not just now. She... She now, but not just now. Is she listening to our thoughts as well? We... we don't know. Does she...
00:40:40
Speaker
look similar to any of us. Tall, short, hair, alive. What? Tell me about her. Tell me about she. She needs us. We don't need she. We don't need her. Well, a funny thing about need. Why does she need you?
00:41:09
Speaker
So to not be gone. She need us so she not be gone. What could we do to help? No more she. No more she. No more she. No more she. No more she. No more she. No more she. You're hearing it's like.
00:41:32
Speaker
hive mind like multiple voices all in your mind at once saying just concurring no more she no more she Devin things we're wasting our time here listen guys I think that we should just move across the river I don't know what to sting is but we didn't come here to help it look we as you can clearly hear my friends are eager to continue on our journey but
00:42:01
Speaker
you want us to help and you have an opportunity to tell us obviously you want no more she what how how can you how can we help you beyond well i guess killing killing is no more killing is no more she
00:42:23
Speaker
That is the least ideal answer to your problems. I would prefer to go down to her, killing her and no more she. Ah, these are your intentions. Is she evil? She need us. She need you to not. Be not here.
00:42:53
Speaker
That's hard to say. She needs you to be not being back here. Not be not tomorrow now. Not to be sorry. I secretly love it. Does she hurt you? Do you not want her because you are in pain? She use we.
00:43:22
Speaker
she take we she grow from we Devin hears you say she she take we and he's like oh i really have to pee nice what i wonder if gwyndolin can i don't know she has more of a connection with nature than i have ever had at this point and i wonder if
00:43:50
Speaker
That's just all I think. That's as far as my thoughts get. I think during this time, after it started a while, I'll be working on a ritual spell. Maybe this might help. Maybe we could use this. And that's what you guys are hearing while he's trying to cast something. Okay. What are the components of your ritual?
00:44:19
Speaker
Somatic. There's a little bit of verbal, which that's I'm just kind of speaking out like and drawing out a circle. And that's so it's verbal, somatic and material. And I'm using a drop of mercury as so I'm just drawing and and kind of saying that stuff out loud. Sick. What does Arcana sound like, Dungeon Master?
Trials of the River Crossing
00:44:45
Speaker
Arcana.
00:44:46
Speaker
He's using magic and it's like a verbal incantation in whatever language he wants to say it in. It's like, you know, it's like Harry Potter uses Latin. I mean, he's going to use whatever he wants. I just wondered if the actual act of like a part of me is curious what magical footholds has like on mental capacity.
00:45:09
Speaker
What the what the relationship is between the two and when reaching inside to cast something like that I'm just I can't help but wonder I think is it like am I hearing just crazy energetic static or
00:45:25
Speaker
I think something like a ritual, you're hearing him think about the process. It's like he's following a recipe. Gotcha. And he's setting out a ritual spell. And then it literally, instead of add three cups of butter, it says, now say these words. And so he's going to say, to the moon comes the sun with the rising of that whatever it says to say. And that's what it's going to say. No, I want to hear the rest of that. Continue. I was just throwing that out there out of the middle of nowhere. So there was no more. Just curious. There is no more. Something I've always
00:45:56
Speaker
thought about is what like that could potentially sound like. So, you know, me just thinking, uh, and it may be different for like a sorcerer whose magic just kind of comes from their being or, uh, or, uh, warlock doesn't really think at all. He just does something. Yeah. Just does it. Uh, Devin's going to walk up to Gwen say, Gwen, I think we got to move on. Right. If you want to get to your place.
00:46:22
Speaker
Yes, as soon as possible. I don't know who these people are. Even if I'm in tune with nature, I don't know them. Because I don't think Gwen would feel anything in this cave. Is that not correct? I feel anything. What do you mean?
00:46:44
Speaker
I'm like when she's out in the wild she can feel. She can hear the bird she can feel how the wind blows and feel nature and in here she doesn't really feel that this is this is all natural plant life and critters and creatures you don't get like the dead like.
00:47:06
Speaker
horrible vibes you got, you know, when you were in the woods with Krigs going to get his new powers and stuff, and you felt that deadness. You don't feel that. It just feels like, you know, it feels like nature has taken over here, but there's something, and what you're hearing, the voices, these creatures, they all feel very natural. They just, they don't necessarily maybe give you the same little cute critter vibes that you get, but it's not,
00:47:35
Speaker
undead or gross or icky. It's definitely not that same feeling you get from the dark mist and things like that. Okay. I mean, let's be on our way then. Yeah, Craig, tell me that if we see her we'll kill her, but otherwise we got to get going. Oh, I think you just told them yourself. And you hear Gwendolyn think. That's true.
00:48:02
Speaker
It's a job jocks are. I don't know how long it's been, but I'll, you know, at the 10 minute mark. Ah, there it is. And he's just standing in front of nothing. OK. And he thinks jocks are finally losing it. He thinks finally. Quite thinks Al Menora. He's like putting his hand in front of him and like pressing down and it looks like there's resistance.
00:48:32
Speaker
He's definitely lost it. What are you doing over there? Come here. And then I'll just pick up Krigs and put him on nothing. It's a floating disk. Okay. Consent would be nice, Krigs says out loud.
00:48:51
Speaker
All right. Yes. Okay. It worked. I didn't know if that was going to make you okay. Yes. Anyway, this is a floating disk, as I'm just pointing at you floating in the air. All right. Can we all fit on it? How big is it? Hold on. And then I want to look down and how deep is the water that I can see. It's really hard to tell with how fast it's flowing right up here at the edge. Of course, it's pretty shallow. But it's hard to tell. Make a
00:49:22
Speaker
Make a nature check as you look at it. Okay. Okay, so that is an 18, 19 minus one. Yeah, judging from the stones and things that are like kind of jutting from the water, they look like pretty large stones, which makes you think this might be pretty deep.
00:49:43
Speaker
Okay, looking at it. You don't know that you'd have a measurement, but definitely you think like most of us couldn't most of you couldn't stand in it. And you definitely think the rushing how fast it's rushing, you definitely it would be hard to fight against the current of this river for sure. This still isn't the best path over. But if I can jump across these rocks, this follows me. And
00:50:14
Speaker
We could maybe tie rope around it. Well, it floats. Can it float away from you? So it essentially, as long as it's within 20 feet, it remains unmoving. But when I walk away, it will it will follow me. It doesn't float very high. So can you push it away?
00:50:43
Speaker
Uh, I, I mean, I could probably push it the, I mean, the full length of 20, 20 feet. So will it float on the water? I don't think so. I think it it's whoever it, you would, you would follow along it. You'd just be holding onto it. Hold up one way and spell ends. So am I currently sitting on it and it's floating?
00:51:11
Speaker
Hold on while we read a book. Yeah, so it doesn't move while it's within 20 feet of me. When I move more than 20 feet away, it then will follow me. Can't cross an elevation change of 10 feet or more. The immobile is what trips me up. Yeah, so it is completely solid. I can't push it.
00:51:38
Speaker
I was going to have, I was going to say like, have Daven made janitor. You made chanted across while we just like ride the thing. It would have to go across and it would have to follow him. How much does Daven way? Uh, I believe it's 180 pounds. Craig's is about 140. So I reckon unless Gwen's how big is this thing? Three feet. How diameter three feet diameter?
00:52:09
Speaker
Yeah, so when sell a chunky, so I realized I didn't put a weight and I just put rude. Nice. So I did not quit weight. Rude. I don't think enough to where we're going to like break the 500 pound weight limit. Yeah, you'll just have to hold on, you know, pretty tight because you'll probably get a little bit.
00:52:41
Speaker
Well, I... I mean, I'm up for a ride across if everyone else is. This is a terrible idea, creating things to itself. Sounds like we're gonna all slink and die.
00:52:54
Speaker
Yeah, let's try it. It's going to be fine. OK, I'll take some rope and and like do some cross so you can actually see it. And then some cross stitching. Well, yeah, I'm just crossing and, you know, not a cross stitching. I'm going to cross stitch over this bloody disk and then and then, you know, put some loopholes that everybody can, you know, hold on to without needing a lot of effort against some of the water.
00:53:22
Speaker
I'm riding on top of this thing. Yeah, there's some elbow holds for you while you're trying to hold yourself on, your butt on. Well, I guess I'm gonna just start jumping across and you'll follow. And maybe if I'm fast enough, it'll float on each one of these rocks instead of dipping down into the water a bit.
00:53:50
Speaker
If I die, I'm going to kill them, Craig's thanks. Yeah, that's good. So you're going to go across? Yeah, I'm going to try to jump across. All right, make your first dexterity saving throw. OK. And my die has ran. Oh, there's six.
00:54:09
Speaker
Okay. So that is a hole in saving. No whammies. No. So, uh, dexterity saving throw plus eight. So that is a 16 plus one. Okay. So 17 is good. Who all is on this disc? Uh, I'll hop on top. I'm sitting on it like three feet in diameter. So yeah.
00:54:35
Speaker
And yeah, I essentially did, you know, cross rope and then tried to make two like arm hold loops at like each corner or like equally space. Good. No, I'm always sure. She'll always she will also drop on. And there is barely room for Krigs to stand in the middle and Davin and Gwen on either side, like with your feet intermixed with each other.
00:55:05
Speaker
and having to hang on to each other to not fall down. And go ahead. Gwenwyn's going to hold on to Daven. Okay, so hug him. So Joxer jumps three stones is going to also hold onto Daven and I'm going to hug like one of his legs as tight as I can. Okay. So Joxer, you watch as he jumps over, jumps over to a stone and he jumps three stones clean.
00:55:32
Speaker
And they're getting, you know, there, there's water kind of rushing around them and they're kind of covered in this moss.
00:55:37
Speaker
And he seems to be landing cleanly. He jumps to the fourth stone and when he does, woo, it starts to pull you guys when you, your balance kind of shifts. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. Make your next dexterity saving throw jockser over and over again. Craig's thinking I hate this so much. Oh, that's a, that's a luck guy right there. And that one is not going to work. Oh, but, uh, 17 plus eight plus one. So that'll be a 26.
00:56:06
Speaker
Yeah, so you get I get three. Gee, that was two, right? Yep. It's worth it. So you land this one, you, you go to jump and you redirect where you're going to go mid leap and use your opposite foot and do land successfully. And you jump across another and another.
00:56:25
Speaker
and this disc again whoops itself towards him as to stay 20 feet behind us. He's just got a few more. You can see the embankment, Joxer, as you kind of balance on one foot on one of these stones, getting ready to leap to the next ones. The water's rushing around you. It's loud and it's splashing up and getting your boots and legs and everything wet. Everyone else, you're just barely hovering three inches over this water and it's coming up over the disc, but still not pushing the disc down.
00:56:52
Speaker
So you feel safe, but it is coming up onto your feet as it's you're resting in between a couple of the stones ahead of you. You can all see now that there is a 15 foot wide corridor ahead of you with these familiar stone walls, just like from the little hallway you just left. There are more.
00:57:09
Speaker
There's more like doorways. There's one to the left, and there's one ahead of you that goes down to the right. And you can see all this as you kind of go through the mist of this river as you move forward. Make your last dexterity saving throw jockser. All of you just here, don't mess this up. Don't mess this up. Don't mess this up. Stop listening. Don't mess this up. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. We're going to die. We're going to die. This is quite fun. 25.
00:57:38
Speaker
Yeah, you needed a 20. And so you land on the other side and just kind of, as you do, the, the disc is still hovering out in the water. You, you sense this, like, Oh, I made it. And then you turn around and look, and you've got your three companions still standing on this invisible, this just hovering three inches above the water with, which it looks like the way the water is flowing, it looks like they are standing on top of the water because it's splashing up onto them a little bit on their, on their feet. So, but you're, you're only about,
00:58:08
Speaker
You're only about 10 feet away from them when you hit the embankment. Let me go grab my phone for this. This looks awesome. No. Oh, sorry. And then I'll back up another 15 feet to make sure they're on it. All right. You back up 15 feet. And as you back up, I need you to make a wisdom saving throw. Ooh, okay. That's... As he does that, the disc does...
00:58:38
Speaker
go over the overland and it is now sitting overland as you look and you see Joxer take a step backwards and then another and as he takes his second, his foot's about to come down on one of these fungus on the ground. What was your wisdom saving throw? Not great. Where's wisdom? So that is, that's a seven.
00:58:58
Speaker
So you actually go to step your foot down and something inside you says don't step and you don't step and you hear the voices. Don't do it. Don't step. You can't step. Please don't step. And you end up tripping yourself up. Make a dexterity saving throw again. Okay. Okay, that is a 17.
00:59:19
Speaker
Yeah, so you you quickly kind of shift your balance and end up landing back on two feet and looking down where you were about to step on a small patch of these bright colored yellow and red and blue mushrooms that were just on the ground beneath your foot. And something just didn't let you step down on them. And then as you guys are all there, it's everybody staying on the disk, climbing off the disk once you get over land. What are you doing?
00:59:48
Speaker
I immediately jump off the desk, like onto land. That's like just clear land. I'm like, Nope. I did not like this. I'll hop down to Sam. I am. I do not like this. Yeah. I take my time. Don't watch out. There's, there's more of those mushrooms. Are you hearing your heads? Oh, they caught me all dirty now too. And Devin's going to cast the presentation on himself again to clean himself off.
01:00:17
Speaker
All right. As you guys think you'd offer that to me too. You know, I mean those stinky freaks things to himself. Devin says that loud. Clean your own clothes. Got him. As you guys stop, you, you kind of start looking around and assessing, you guys start looking around and assess what you've got going on here, what this is.
The Mushroom Creatures' Plea
01:00:41
Speaker
And you see a,
01:00:43
Speaker
doorway to your left that goes into a small rectangular room. Ahead of you, you see a it's a large unit of about 15 foot wide corridor that goes straight ahead and then curves to the right or left. The left turns to another 15 foot wide hallway corridor, the right shrinks down into a little 10 foot wide corridor.
01:01:03
Speaker
And there are there's again fungus moss and that sort of stuff growing everywhere. But this time you notice two figures standing in front of you. They stand about seven foot tall each and they from the from the feet up they look like they're mushroom people. They they have they have spores growing and coming from them their their body
01:01:32
Speaker
you know, as it goes up, they do have two arms and two legs, but their shoulders kind of morph into this like no neck kind of trunk with a mushroom kind of head sprouting up on the top of their head, and they look up at you, and they have no mouths, but they do have what seem to be almost like eyes, and they tilt their heads to the side and you hear, you help, you help, yes, you help, you help.
01:02:01
Speaker
We can help. And as Gwyn says that, you look around and suddenly there are two more of these step out of the piles of mushrooms. Three little small ones step out and they're on four legs like a creature of some kind, almost like a dog. And they walk out to you and you see these mushroom people emerging from these little mushrooms like they've been hiding in there.
01:02:31
Speaker
inside your mind you hear help please help we need help i need help you help help now help oh that's where we end the episode my children mushroom daddy is here to save you i'm just sitting here
01:03:01
Speaker
you
01:03:11
Speaker
Thank you for joining us on this episodic installment of the Hired Swords.
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01:03:15
Speaker
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01:03:36
Speaker
Be sure to check out our merch store at thehired.store. And again, thank you for listening. A story of monsters, mystery, and myth. And the four adventurers who have banded together as heroes and as friends. And then he hears Val's voice from above and then he basically feels better. Yeah.
01:04:05
Speaker
who come together to make the world a little safer for their fellow mortals. Reckless Attack is a weekly, collaboratively built and character-driven D&D 5th edition actual play podcast.
01:04:23
Speaker
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