Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Defining Success
170 Plays2 years ago
What does success look like for you? Having your own definition is not only important in setting goals and tracking progress but it also protects your uncommon path from being upended chasing someone else's view of success.
In this episode, Phillip and Arron share some personal definitions of success as well as some recommendations on how to craft your own definitions. Plus, the value of focusing on impact over income, knowing when to reign in a lofty goal, and how being faithful with a little progress (even when the situation isn't ideal) will inevitably lead to greater results down the road.
What is your definition of success? We'd love to hear it! Leave us a comment or shoot us an email at podcast@uncommonwealth.com.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Success
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello, welcome to another episode of the uncommon wealth podcast. I'm your host Philip Ramsey and I'm Aaron Kramer. Thanks for tuning in. You got you got Aaron Kramer and I talking about a topic that I feel like we would like to reintroduce. I'm sure we've talked about this in the past. It's never bad to just reintroduce this topic.
00:00:19
Speaker
What is the topic we're going to be talking about today, Aaron Kramer?
Personal Definition of Success
00:00:22
Speaker
We are going to define what success is. Yeah. At least to us. Yeah. Define success. And I would, I would strongly urge, and this will be something we say at the beginning. We'll say at the end, what is your definition of success? Yeah. It can't be anybody else's definition. Don't get sucked into it. It needs to be yours.
00:00:40
Speaker
The reason why is because if you have this definition of success, then nobody can take it away from you. It's easier for you not to get jealous of other people because your definition is going to be different. Everyone's is. It also will be something that defines you as you go on. If you're talking to somebody, somebody's like, hey, what's your definition of success? That's probably an icebreaker I'm going to start asking because I think it's hilarious. Just because not a lot of people think about it that way.
00:01:09
Speaker
And there's a lot of areas that you could have like I have a definition of success in flag football or Yeah, but what is it in whatever you're doing?
Success in Relationships
00:01:17
Speaker
So if you're gonna go to a financial advisor, that's kind of what I'm talking about It's like what's your definition of success? because one thing that I really am cautious of is Getting into a relationship and the other person doesn't know how to define the definition like what is a successful relationship look like between us and
00:01:33
Speaker
If they don't know what that is, I usually don't even enter into the relationship. Until you understand that, it's just not a really good place yet because I don't want to enforce my or implement my definition of success into you. And I, you know, I don't want to go four or five years and you realize like this isn't where I want to go. It's just way easier if we can define it and then we can track it and then we can kind of like monitor it as we go on. Okay. So what are your thoughts about defining success? You get excited about this.
00:02:02
Speaker
Yeah. You're goal oriented. I am. I love it. So I, I think the first thing when I start looking at defining success is what is the time, when is the time that you're, you can sit back and say, all right, I've made it, you know?
Personal Success Indicators
00:02:20
Speaker
And I think for me, where I start, if I'm using myself as an example is I can pay all my bills.
00:02:28
Speaker
And I get to help families. Like if I'm doing those two things, you're doing okay. I'm doing okay. I'm successful. Right. Right. I can put food on the table for my family. I got a roof over my head. Yeah. And I have, I've been blessed to have families that I get to help. Right. Like what else more can I ask for? I mean, I certainly can ask for a lot more, but like at the end of the day, I'm, I feel like that's a success.
00:02:53
Speaker
yeah i agree okay so this begs the question because some people have definition of success and it's very lofty like this like i want to yacht on the golf side of florida yeah in seven years and it won't you know like whatever it is like whoa whoa okay okay like that's not bad so how do you know when you like make it very strategic in a very kind of a bigger goal or like you and you've kind of like
00:03:19
Speaker
You're just content. Does that make sense? I want to pay bills. I want to impact other people is really what you just
Material vs Fulfillment
00:03:24
Speaker
said, right? Yeah So but for me to break that like it's because I've learned You get those big things like the yacht or things like that. For instance, let's say I've been very blessed I feel like I'm like
00:03:36
Speaker
Almost to my dream gym that I have. Oh, at your own house, at my own house. Personal dream gym. Yep. So I'm about to max out my area. Like my, even my wife was like, why did. When I get transferred from our investment account over to our checking, I was like, cause I'm paying off my credit card. Cause I ordered all my front stuff and I'm putting it together. I have one machine coming on the 14th and it'll be pretty much finished. I have like odds and ends I'll add, but nothing big ticket.
00:04:03
Speaker
Wow. That's a big accomplishment. Yeah. I love it. Like people even talk, hear me talk about it and you can see me light up because it's my hobby. Okay. Guess my feeling of like after this is done. Yeah. I'd love to know. It's not great.
00:04:19
Speaker
Like yeah, it's there cool. All right. Well, what's next? Like it's like I didn't get this from the fulfillment or I don't get this amazing Yeah fulfillment out of like seeing it all be all complete like it's nice. It's cool But now if you would asked Aaron ten years ago, I was like, oh my life would have been complete It's gonna be amazing. Good. That's all I need. Yes No
00:04:40
Speaker
I don't need it. It's a desire. It's one. It's my yacht. Right. But like at the end of the day, why mine sounds so simple for success is because that's the stuff don't take away from me or that I can't get enough of. Yeah. Right. That feels my I do think there is something in like fulfillment in like a worldly thing is just unattainable. Like, hey, I'm going to buy this. I'm going to be fulfilled. That's just that's just not true.
00:05:07
Speaker
No, right? Like it has to be eternal minded when you're like, I feel like I'm doing something, I'm impacting others and like that only comes from the Lord. So to me, there is some kind of like success that it'll always be kind of yearning for something more.
00:05:24
Speaker
Yeah, right and so I think there is some truth to making a goal Where
Core Values and Success
00:05:28
Speaker
it's kind of a lower bar because everything else is then you're thankful for yep, right Yeah, cuz I'm so thankful. I've been blessed to get this to this point where I can have this gym right at home, but like at the end of the day, I don't know like your goals have to line with your core values and then like you have to be
00:05:50
Speaker
I don't know. It's just interesting. Like, as we're talking about it, I I do a walk in like from working on like working and designing the gym because I just moved into the house and I'm working on it. And I don't walk in with just like being like, Oh my gosh, it's so amazing. But of me and you walk away from an appointment where a client cried or we did something great. I am on cloud nine for like a week. Right, right.
00:06:14
Speaker
You know like and i'm still I get like goosebumps thinking about those appointments where I think about my gym I'm talking about right now. I don't get a single goosebumps
00:06:23
Speaker
You know, yeah, so it is one of those things when we talk about success really I feel like for listeners that like get down to the core reasons of like why you want what you want like, right? If you want a yacht or things like that, is it because you or a car you want Mercedes or something like that? Are you a car person? If your answer is no, then why do you want a fancy car? Yeah
00:06:47
Speaker
Do it to look cool to stoplight. Yeah, I know some people that got buku money and they could care less. Yeah Drive a torus. Yeah So like um, yeah, that's a good point. I don't know. So I think it's the internal reasons why you're doing what you're doing Yeah, I think it's one to just write it down to I would then challenge our listeners to have your spouse Have their own definition of success. Yeah
00:07:13
Speaker
One eighty nine percent ninety percent of you will not do this I get it. Yeah, but for the ten that do be interesting Like just get alone Saturday morning wake up. What's your definition of success when it comes to like your life? Let's just do that in your life What is it define and then you can even tailor that down to even more like in different sections like let's say it's my relationships my spouse Yeah, does that look like for success?
00:07:37
Speaker
Your work. What does it look like for success health? It's another one Maybe even like financial like that. Obviously we're doing this podcast but and then like even maybe even your faith do you have like a Success path where you're like, I want to achieve this. Here's the deal. I love Vince Barty Vince Lombardi's quote. You're getting better. You're getting worse. I
00:08:00
Speaker
So that's helpful. Because it makes you strive to be working at something. If you're not, you're falling back. So let's talk about some financial successes that we've heard throughout the years and ones that we get excited
Money as a Tool
00:08:16
Speaker
for. Because I'm getting excited more and more while you're thinking about people who want to be generous, like doing donor advised funds. They are getting excited about what their money could do even after they're around.
00:08:29
Speaker
Yeah, that gets me excited. Um, and I hope that we can have more and more people who have that money and also have that mindset to help others to help others. Right. Um, and so that's something I'm starting to get more and more excited about or the people who are like, I want to use my money for impacting other people, not just myself. And how can I have people around me help me in this vision?
00:08:51
Speaker
Yeah, that's cool do this so I think as you say this it's funny because you know we sit down meetings together and we've been blessed to have some bigger clients down this recently and These guys do that they they want to give But they all say the same thing that seems in common I don't know if you caught this but I catch it because here we are supposed to help people with their money and I feel like sometimes we get just as much help from them as they help us and so They're like it's not my money Yes
00:09:21
Speaker
And you're like, and I know the answer of this, but for some reason, every time it said it catches me off guard and I, my mind goes blank. I'm like, what do you mean? It's not your money. I'm pretty sure it's your money. No, they're like, it's God's money. And if he's been trusting me with this much, I need to go help other people.
00:09:39
Speaker
I'm like, Oh my gosh. Yes. Great. Let's plan for that. But it's still just a reminder that they got there because of that attitude. And when they got there, they have a different attitude with it. They're not just like hoarding it with clenched hands. No, they're like, okay, how can I bless somebody else?
00:09:59
Speaker
Yeah, because they've had that through the entire time. They're like, how can I keep blessing people? And so I am a huge believer if you're a business owner, if you're a business, I'm not saying like a teacher, that's different. Or a police officer, a firefighter or something like where you're like, you're blessing people with your like your lives. But these business owners, like you trust him, trust the big guy upstairs. He'll keep blessing you as you and you keep showing him that you can handle his money.
00:10:28
Speaker
Yeah, I do think that it's counterintuitive for people who are of this nature of giving.
Acting on Goals Now
00:10:35
Speaker
Let me tell you another thing that I've found, and that brings up the next point, is you're not going to get to a point where you're like, okay, when this happens, then this. So when I start making more money, then I will start giving more.
00:10:48
Speaker
Or when I start making more money, I'm gonna start taking my spouse on dates. Whatever it is, let me tell you something. Stop that mindset right now. Like, you never arrive. You never will arrive. You'll get that promotion, and then that promotion money will just kinda go, whoosh, and kinda go on. So my strong plea to people is do things now.
00:11:13
Speaker
When things are hard, start giving more or start giving something like, even when it's hard. And when you can start having the discipline now with little, you'll have the understanding and the discipline when you have more. And when, when things do come, but the whole, Hey, when this happens, then I'll do this. It never seems like it actually comes to fruition. It doesn't.
00:11:36
Speaker
So that's why I think the defining of success, you have to make sure that it's not something where you're like, if I get this, then I'll get that or do this. Like that's, that doesn't work. So that's, I think a point I really wanted to make. Yeah. For our listeners. For sure. No, but yeah, this is all great. I just focus in on the, the core value of what you want and what actual make you happy. Like.
00:12:05
Speaker
Cause things don't make you happy. It's, you know, people that, what do you want around you? What do you want things to look like? What do you want your business to look like? You know, like, I don't mean you talked about it. Like I have no desire to make a million dollars a year. No desire. Like every study shows that like after it was like 600,000 or something, like happiness flat lines. Yeah.
00:12:29
Speaker
So why would I want, if I have a, you know, if I'm managing a book that produces a million plus, guess what? I am going to be paying my staff and UWP will be doing a fantastic, you know, but like, not that I'm even, we're close to that, but like,
00:12:46
Speaker
So I think, let's talk about this, because you said a couple times that I think it's valuable. Core values.
Aligning Goals with Values
00:12:51
Speaker
Yeah. So once you have defined your success, this is where it's like 2.0. So if there's only 10% of people who are actually going to define their success, there's only like 3% of those 10 that are actually going to do this. But now try to figure out why is that value? And what value is that bringing out if you finally do achieve your success?
00:13:14
Speaker
For example, for you, I want to pay my bills, provide for your family. Yeah. And then I want to impact other people, you know, like, and I want to just keep talking to people and impact them. So I love those two things. And the core values of those, I think are wholesome, biblical, if you will, but like good morality, good morals will help you like, Oh, that's interesting. Versus like, I want a Ferrari. I want a Lamborghini.
00:13:37
Speaker
Yeah, and then you're kind of like but why do I want a Lamborghini? Is it because I just want to be the one who revs up my engine and people look at me like okay? Interesting might want to work through some of stuff. Yeah, that isn't something that you really do I don't know and like I would say even if you're like hey, I've always wanted a Lamborghini because I had one as a child and like there's something about like, okay Yeah, sounds great. That's cool. Yeah, that's okay, too I tell the people all the time when we look at our core values
00:14:05
Speaker
like you'll know what means a lot to me because you come to my house you'll see like my gym right working out means a lot to me you'll never see me drive a really cool car because i don't care about my cars right like uh i think like both of us share that same thing like we're not car people i like accuracy yeah you're not like needing a new fancy car like no like i know people that are really into cars
00:14:29
Speaker
And that's their thing, though. Right. Like they love cars. They can tell you all about it until their engine. They can tell you what muffler they have. Like all the things you're like, oh, well, that's their thing. So they have a cool, really fancy car. I'm like, that's your thing. That's cool. But if you're a super fancy car and I was like, why? It's dependable. Oh, OK. You don't know your core values. Yeah. True. Or you're not following them.
00:14:54
Speaker
Yeah. So that's, that's cool. I think the defining success is helpful when you then write them down. And then when you come to an advisor and say, Hey, these are my financial kind of like things that I want to be held accountable to. This is what I define my success as. Yeah. And then they can create a plan in order to achieve those things. Yep. Not the other way around. Like, no, you need a Roth. Well, I never said that in my thing. Like,
00:15:18
Speaker
You might not need one. Yeah, I'm not saying you don't. I just think, like, you've got to make sure that they're showing you how your definition of success and the plan they're put together shows you how you're achieving those things. Yep. And then the more detailed I would say that people get with us, the more appreciative I am about putting a plan in front of them because it covers those details. Yeah. Versus like, hey, I want a million dollars when I'm 50. OK, why? Like, I never really thought about that.
00:15:47
Speaker
The math shows that I should be okay. It's like, okay for what? Yes, right. And so I think that when you work with somebody like Aaron and I, we can start kind of helping you with the backbone of why you would want a million dollars if that ends up being, or you can see like, well, I don't spend a million dollars.
00:16:05
Speaker
I don't know if I need that over here. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. But you can start seeing where the numbers in financial planning does help you come up with some bigger goals that you can be like, hey, this is my definition of success. I'd like to have $90,000 in retirement coming in. And there's a lot of variables that come into that, like social security, for example. If you're older, there's a lot of different things. But then we can show you, hey, your definition of success is $90,000.
00:16:34
Speaker
And here's the ways that you can achieve that. And then we're going to hold those things accountable to make sure those accounts grow to what they think they are. Now, what happens if we don't like, there's a lot of different things, but I love when people come to us and they have a really clear expectation. I love it. Yeah, it's good.
00:16:51
Speaker
I mean, it's awesome. I mean, it helps everything. And I think a good advisor wants to know those things. They want to know your values because your core values, because I mean, when it comes to, you know, you come into the office and you say you want the Lamborghini, like you're talking about, it's like, we can ask why it doesn't meet your, your values, what's changed, what's changing your values to where that's more valuable. Another place where I've seen this kind of work is like, Hey, I want to retire when I'm 55.
Testing Aspirational Goals
00:17:20
Speaker
okay why what would you do you know like yeah okay well then i would go to someplace and i would just pour into kids there well why don't we do that now like huh yeah like why can't we just make that the goal earlier why does it have to be till 55 like again win this then that i don't feel like ever works and when i get to this age then i'm gonna do that no let's start today if you really want to pour into kids in ethiopia then let's try to figure out how to get you over to ethiopia
00:17:48
Speaker
Yeah, it's starting now. Like it may not be full time. Right. And we'll get to full time. Maybe. But like maybe. But like let's start doing it now because like this is a thing. Right. Some things sound really good. An idea in theory. And then you go do it. You're like, oh, yeah, never mind. Yeah. So Ethiopia, if that's that's the thing you want to do, we get you to 55. You retire. Let's say we push you to do it and you get there. You're like, I don't really like this. Isn't my jam. Yes. Well, now what do you do? Yeah.
00:18:16
Speaker
You know, so it's like now I'm really sad and depressed. I don't even have a job. That's true. So it's like, well, I guess we're just gonna keep trying to lay him up there till you find one. And what I would say that doing this for man, 11 years now, what I would tell you is the uncommon pursuit that people are on or is constantly evolving.
00:18:37
Speaker
Yeah. So why not start that evolution earlier than later is basically the reason why we have this business of like, let's figure out what you get excited about and then let's pour into the places where you really do get excited about and the things that you thought you would get excited
Evolving Aspirations
00:18:51
Speaker
about. Let's just go hire somebody that you don't really actually like. Yeah. You get it. Yeah. Right. Yeah. This is amazing. So I hope we get more than just a few people that do this, like to really think about what you would do. So like.
00:19:05
Speaker
Take how that happened to me actually funny story
Finding Fulfillment Beyond Work
00:19:08
Speaker
real quick. My wife asked me this. She's like if you Took a day with a friend. What would you do and she said you can't work out? Mm-hmm, and you can't go see a movie. Mmm, and I was like Well, I would question Ashley dang. I don't know what I would do
00:19:29
Speaker
And it really hit me. I was like, I don't do anything, but those two things and work, huh? So I take those three things away. I am very boring. So I have now come up with some things I'm going to try to get into. Like it is one of those things that just start thinking about, because even if you do work a W two job, let's say you work for somebody else and you're going to get into retirement.
00:19:53
Speaker
You need things to do. So have hobbies, have things that you love to do. I love talking to people who are retired and they're like, I'm busier now than I ever have been. Those are the people I like and I like you. The other thing I would say is now for business owners, because I know there's a lot of business owners that listen to our podcast,
00:20:12
Speaker
I think there's a way that you can make your goals inside of your team and your business as impacting others.
Business Goals and Impact
00:20:20
Speaker
So news flash, Aaron, this is where we're going to go. We've always had like these, hey, what are we trying to do numbers wise? But the new thing is that how many more people are we going to impact? And how can we define that and how can we measure that?
00:20:32
Speaker
For me, impact is a big thing. So is it for you? And so I know a lot of our team because we're all kind of unified in that. But how can we go impact other people? And how can we hold ourselves accountable to doing that? That gets me excited. And I feel like it just gives us a different mindset together, unified, to go and help other people. Instead of making about us about like, hey, what numbers do we need to hit? Okay, great. But if we go impact more people, I'm sure the numbers will follow. If they don't, that's okay too. Let's just go help people.
00:20:59
Speaker
But the numbers that we chase are the number of households, which is very uncommon for most advisors. I know in our world, if you talk to another advisor, how many assets do you manage? How many assets do you manage? It's like, what's your AUM?
00:21:16
Speaker
How many households do you help? Yeah. Like how many families have you helped make a change in? Yeah. Right. That like, or even trusted you with your help. Like, so, um, but yeah, so like, I think it's so important. You've done a great job of this and making sure that the team, our current team, like we all do have the same core values. We really do. And if you don't, it's not going to be a good road.
00:21:40
Speaker
Yeah, and like all four of us, five of us, like we're not even like all the same personalities. No, but like when it comes down to the core, like we all have that we're all very unified in our goal. And sometimes don't be wrong. Like it's funny that we all have the same goal and values.
00:21:58
Speaker
But sometimes we'll butt heads. Oh for sure. I'm like Are we getting this done? It's like yeah, we're getting it done. You know yeah, so it's but it makes it for a fun a Fun team to work on yeah, so that's why I guess challenge for those business
Customer Impact as Success Metric
00:22:13
Speaker
owners out there. It's like how can you?
00:22:15
Speaker
Create goals that you can You can measure by impact. How can we be more impactful? Yeah, the numbers on the bottom tracking the numbers. Yeah, like seems way better Yeah, it's so much better like to get asked, you know, what'd you like? How did you impact your clients there? How did we impact our clients? Like yeah, it's good Oh great or your customers, you know instead of being like
00:22:39
Speaker
How much did we sell or how many assets did we bring in? It's like black, truly, truly. So, okay. Define your success. Uh, not only is this going to be helpful for those people who interact with you, but the people that like you interact with and it helps you define your core values and the reason why you're doing what you're doing. Anyway, everyone's happiness faster. It totally does. It totally does. Happiness is not a dollar bill. No, I'll tell you that right now.
00:23:05
Speaker
But it is in like truly like there it you can't have happiness here Yes, and there's ways to do it, but when you start focusing on things like money, there's just never enough No, never enough. You know of 25 billion dollars. Okay, but I want more, you know Yeah, and every study shows that way and I like a dead heart be a dead horse with this but like I
00:23:25
Speaker
You every study shows if you chase the dollar you'll never get it never you'll never get there, but if you chase a purpose You're gonna get there right because when things and challenges come the purpose is gonna get you through that Yes, the dollar bill is like you can only throw so much money. Yeah All right, you've been listening on Commonwealth podcast. I've been your Phil Ramsey and I'm Aaron Kramer till next time go define your own success. Yeah