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EP 3: Fired Over 50? Why Denial is Your Most Expensive Mistake
16 Plays1 month ago
"Restructuring." "Role elimination." "Going in a different direction." When you are over 50, these aren't just corporate buzzwords, they are threats to your identity and your survival.
If you’ve recently been fired, laid off, or forced into early retirement, your first instinct is likely Denial. You might think, "This is a mistake," or "My 25 years of experience will save me." In this video, we expose the "Immunity Myth", the dangerous belief that competence protects you from ageism in the workplace.
John Stech breaks down the first of the 5 Phases of Grief after job loss: Denial. He discusses why high-performers are often the hardest hit, the hidden "wave of shame" that keeps you isolated, and why waiting to update your resume is costing you money.
In this podcast, we cover:
0:00 The Shock: When the words don't compute
2:30 The "Immunity Myth": Why experience isn't safety
6:00 The Wave of Shame: Why we hide after job loss
10:00 The Cost of Waiting: How denial taxes your savings
13:00 Conclusion: Acknowledgment is the first step
💬 Join the Conversation on Discord
The isolation of job loss is dangerous. You do not have to navigate this terrain alone. Join our private Discord community to connect with others who are taking back control of their careers and lives. We are discussing this video right now:
About This Series:
This is Part 1 of our "5 Phases of Grief After Job Loss" series, specifically designed for the Ageism Survival Guide community. We are dedicated to bringing age bias to light and helping older workers withstand its effects.
#ageism #jobloss #over50 #careeradvice #unemployment #agebias #jobsearch #careerreset
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Transcript
Realizing Job Loss
00:00:00
Speaker
I want you to go back to that moment. Maybe it was a a Tuesday morning, maybe it was late on a Friday, like for me. You got that calendar invite, quick sync, check in, or maybe you saw the look on your manager's face earlier in the day.
00:00:18
Speaker
And then the words, restructuring, role elimination, going in a different direction. For a a split second, your your brain actually stops processing language. You you hear the words, but they they they don't compute.
00:00:36
Speaker
there There must be a mistake. I'm the one who built this department. I'm the one who knows where the bodies are buried. They can't run this place without me.
00:00:48
Speaker
But they can, and they did.
Introduction to Ageism Survival Guide by John Steck
00:00:51
Speaker
Welcome to the Ageism Survival Guide. I'm John Steck. If you're watching this, you might have lost your job, or you fear you're about to.
00:01:01
Speaker
Today, we're starting a crucial series on the five phases of grief after job loss over 50. And we have to start with the most dangerous one, denial.
00:01:17
Speaker
If you're over 50, this isn't just about losing a paycheck, it's about losing an identity.
Statistics on Ageism and Job Loss
00:01:24
Speaker
And the statistics back us up. According to the Urban Institute, 56% of workers over 50 are pushed out of their long-time jobs involuntarily.
00:01:35
Speaker
56%. You're not an anomaly. but a statistic. but Look, today we're going to talk about why refusing to accept that reality is the the biggest threat to your financial and your psychological survival.
The Immunity Myth and Denial
00:01:50
Speaker
Let's talk about that that voice in your head, the one that was whispering to you just weeks before it happened. It's the voice that says, it won't happen to me.
00:02:02
Speaker
Why do we say that? because we confuse value with safety. You tell yourself, I have 25 years of experience. I have deep institutional knowledge.
00:02:17
Speaker
I'm loyal. I'm the first one in and the last one out Here's the hard truth that hurts to hear. In an ageist marketplace, your experience is sometimes viewed as a liability, not as an asset. To a bean counter in a dark office looking to cut costs, experience reads as expensive, and institutional knowledge reads as resistant to change.
00:02:45
Speaker
This is the immunity myth. We falsely believe our competence immunizes us against ageism.
Consequences of Denial
00:02:53
Speaker
So when the layoff comes, the denial kicks in as ah as a defense mechanism. You might find yourself thinking, know, this is just temporary.
00:03:04
Speaker
Or they'll realize their mistake and and they'll call me back. Or i'll I'll take a few weeks, call my friends, and and have a new role within a month.
00:03:15
Speaker
No, that self-talk is dangerous. It assumes the job market 20 years ago is the same as the job market today. It assumes that loyalty is currency. It's not. Companies have broken that contract of loyalty years ago. den Denial tells you that the rules haven't changed when in reality the game board has been flipped over entirely in their favor.
00:03:41
Speaker
I want to touch on something we don't talk about enough at dinner parties, unsurprisingly. The shame. Denial isn't just about shock, it's about hiding. When you lose your job after 50, it feels personal. feels like you've been discarded, like some old piece of furniture out at the curb.
00:04:04
Speaker
There's a wave of shame that that washes over you. You don't want to tell your spouse. You definitely don't want to tell your kids. And you try to avoid the neighbors because you don't want them to ask, how's work going?
00:04:21
Speaker
i know someone that pretended to go to work every morning for months just to fool their kids. This shame fuels your denial. You think, if I don't admit it's real, I i don't have to feel the shame.
00:04:39
Speaker
So what do you do? You pretend. you You get up at the same time, you dress the part, you sit at your computer and you research, you you organize your files, you you clean the garage, you do everything except the the one thing that you need to do.
00:04:59
Speaker
I see you, I know how heavy that is, but listen to me, that shame does not belong to you. That shame belongs to the system that devalues wisdom.
00:05:10
Speaker
Don't carry their baggage for them. the The problem with hiding inside this shame is that it it isolates you, and isolation is the enemy of employment. you can't You can't network if you're hiding, and you certainly can't ask for help if you pretend that everything is fine.
00:05:29
Speaker
The market has changed. you're You're not an isolated case. You're with millions. There's no reason for shame because it's not just you. It's an ageism epidemic. Don't let the feeling of shame creep in and fuel your denial.
00:05:48
Speaker
Let's get practical. Why is denial so expensive? Well, when you're 25 and you lose a job, you can bounce back and time is on your side. But when you're 55, the runway is shorter. the The hiring cycle is longer, sometimes six to nine months or even longer.
00:06:09
Speaker
Every day that you spend in denial is a day deducted from your severance package or from your savings. Denial says, I'll update my my resume next week. But reality says your resume needs to be completely overhauled for ATS systems that filter out older dates.
00:06:30
Speaker
And that takes time. Denial says, I'll call my old contacts eventually. But reality says, your network is your lifeline. And they need to know now that you're on the market. there's There's nothing wrong with reaching out and asking for help. People will surprise you because they know that they're also vulnerable. And they may need your help one day.
00:06:58
Speaker
If you spend the first 60 days of your unemployment cleaning the house and telling yourself, I'm just taking a break, you're burning the most precious resource you have, time.
00:07:14
Speaker
Denial delays your response. It keeps you from pivoting. It keeps you from looking at your finances honestly and and cutting expenses today, not three months from now when actual panic sets in.
Acceptance and Moving Forward
00:07:28
Speaker
If you recognize yourself in this video, I need you to do just one thing today. Just just one. Say it out loud. Look in the mirror and say, I lost my job. It it wasn't fair, it wasn't me, but it happened. And now I have to fight.
00:07:48
Speaker
Acknowledgement is the antidote for denial. Once you admit it, the clock starts running in your favor, not against you. Once the numbness of denial wears off, you're gonna feel something else. You're gonna feel heat. You're gonna feel rage.
00:08:09
Speaker
And that's good, because we can use that. In the next video, we're gonna talk about anger, the second phase of grief, and how to channel that fury into fuel for your next move, but without burning bridges.
00:08:26
Speaker
As I say, Youth runs fast, but age knows the
Community Support Invitation
00:08:31
Speaker
terrain. Don't let them push you off the map. Subscribe and hit the bell so you don't miss the next phase.
00:08:37
Speaker
Let's get through this together. And by together, I also mean on our Discord channel. You can find a link to that in the notes below.