Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Love, Lovecraft & Mr Darcy by Violet King
92 Plays24 days ago
What if Pride & Prejudice wasn't a bucolic tale of classic romance? What if Netherfield Park hid a dark and menacing secret? And what if Caroline Bingley had a sinister motive for inviting Jane to visit? Stefanie and Melinda discuss Lovecraftian horror as a genre, the prospect of Pride & Prejudice being a much, much shorter novel, and why on earth Elizabeth Bennet would ever have called on the Bingleys without a formal introduction, in Love, Lovecraft & Mr Darcy by Violet King.
Links & Mentions
Read more about H.P. Lovecraft here.
Learn more about what exactly an Eldritch Being is here
Read the Reuters investigation into the tidal wave of AI books on Amazon is here and a fuller investigation of how fake books have always been a scam is here on Robert Evans' substack, Shatterzone.
If you need subtitles or a transcript, these are available through Apple Podcasts. Please note, they are auto generated so we apologise in advance for it not correctly understanding our accents on certain words.
As always you can find us (and our memes) on Instagram @janeaustenremixed and you can contact us via janeaustenremixed@gmail.com.
Join us every second Monday to hear all about a new adaptation of our favourite classic novel. Next episode we will be reading and watching is Elizabeth of East Hampton by Audrey Bellezza and Emily Harding. If you're reading along, we encourage you to buy secondhand or support your local independent bookshop, where possible.
Recommended
Transcript
Content Warnings and Introduction
00:00:00
Speaker
Hey all, before we start this episode of Jane Austen Remixed, a content warning for this week's text, Love, Lovecraft, and Mr. Darcy, by Violet King. This week's discussion contains references to mental health struggles, racism, and anti-blackness.
00:00:15
Speaker
We won't go into these topics in depth, but they will be referenced as they relate to the book and the book's reliance on Lovecraftian imagery. If any of these topics might be uncomfortable for you, please feel free to give this episode a skip.
00:00:28
Speaker
We'll be back again in two weeks. Otherwise, let's begin.
Alternate Storyline of Pride and Prejudice
00:00:32
Speaker
Hey, Melinda. Hey, Stephanie. What if I told you that most of the events of Pride and Prejudice never happened and that Netherfield wasn't, in fact, a pleasant country home waiting for a rich bachelor to take it over, but was in fact a portal to a hell dimension that was primed and ready to be pried open by an eldritch horror beyond the capability of the human mind to fathom?
00:00:59
Speaker
I don't think I understood half the words in that sentence. That's wild.
Introduction to 'Love, Lovecraft, and Mr. Darcy'
00:01:18
Speaker
Welcome to Jane Austen Remixed, the podcast where we examine the horrifying and unfathomable world of Pride and Prejudice adaptations. I'm Stephanie. And I'm Melinda.
00:01:29
Speaker
And for today's episode, I'll be introducing Melinda and your good self to a gothic horror version of the Austen classic pages. It's called Love, Lovecraft and Mr. Darcy. It's by Violet King and it was first published in 2023.
00:01:44
Speaker
Unsurprisingly, this book is the most recent addition to my collection. I was gifted it for Christmas 2024 by my husband and I was so stoked to receive this one because A, I had never seen it before and B, as we all know, I am a huge fan of Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and this promised to be along the same
The Novella's Brevity and Its Issues
00:02:03
Speaker
vein. Now, it is important to note before we start the book, it is more of a novella.
00:02:09
Speaker
It comes in at 150 double-spaced, large Wow. It's super short. I read it in one evening, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Some of the most devastatingly effective writing I've ever read is in short stories. But in this case, the shortness was a bad sign. So for our spoiler free introduction, i have sent you the b blurb to read.
Exploring Netherfield's Sinister Secrets
00:02:33
Speaker
Mrs Bennet's marital schemes aren't the only horrors Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy face this season in Hertfordshire. After learning Netherfield is set to lease at last, Elizabeth Bennet ventures onto the shadowed estate for a glimpse of Longbourn's newest neighbours.
00:02:50
Speaker
There she finds herself confused by the eccentric Bingley sisters and drawn to the enigmatic Mr Darcy. But the forbidding grounds whisper of mysteries as sinister as they are ancient.
00:03:03
Speaker
A web of growing madness draws Elizabeth closer to Netherfield and Mr Darcy, a gentleman whose troubled past is tied to the awakening horror. Then...
00:03:13
Speaker
Jane falls ill and it becomes a race against time to save her soul from those who would devour our world. Okay. As Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy struggle to unravel Netherfield's secrets, they face monstrous creatures, gruesome rituals, and betrayals at every turn.
00:03:32
Speaker
Can their blossoming love turn the tide of darkness and will any escape with life or sanity intact? Wow. It's, ah yeah, it's a lot.
00:03:43
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I felt like I was reading a dramatic reading out of like, I don't know. Well, dear listener, if this appeals to you, jump out here and we'll see you when you finish the book in about three hours or so.
Critique of the Opening Line
00:04:00
Speaker
Now we're alone. Right off the bat, the book got off on the wrong foot for me because it is a truth universally acknowledged that a Pride and Prejudice adaptation must have a twist on the original opening sentence to start its first chapter.
00:04:15
Speaker
And this novel kicks off with instead, and I quote, Thick mist clung to the ground as Miss Elizabeth Bennet made her way towards the Netherfield estate.
00:04:26
Speaker
What? Exactly. This will just not do. I it just... Why? Why? It's such a basic thing. I mean, not all of them do, but a lot of them do. And they're normally quite clever. Like, I feel like a truth universally acknowledged probably fits this setting more than it does most other things. Well, you'll be pleased to know that I actually enlisted the gifter of the book, who is far more familiar with Lovecraftian themes and symbolism than I am, to help me rewrite the opening sentence of the book and kick us off correctly.
Lovecraftian Influence on the Opening
00:05:02
Speaker
Amazing. Ahem. It is a truth universally acknowledged that an elder god in possession of their own Rilia must be in want of the stars being right.
00:05:13
Speaker
Wow. I mean, that's really good. It's really good. Claps. Clicks. but What do the kids say? Snaps. Snaps for Mark.
00:05:24
Speaker
Don't worry if you don't know what any of that means. Sit tight while we take a sharp left turn away from the plot for a crash course in the author H.P. Lovecraft and his abominable creations before I continue with the novella.
00:05:41
Speaker
Yay, a crash course. I know nothing about any of this. So I'm with you if you're in that boat. So I had quite a surface level knowledge of Lovecraft. As we've established, I am quite into like fantasy and sci-fi and all those sorts of things. I haven't read any of the original Lovecraft ones, but I have read books that are inspired by the universe that he created. So let's just take a quick look at him as an author.
H.P. Lovecraft's Life and Cosmic Horror
00:06:04
Speaker
H.P. Lovecraft is an American author who was born in 1890. His father was institutionalized when he was three, impacting the family's wealth and status. As such, he lived with his mother in precarious financial stability until 1919, when his mother was also institutionalized.
00:06:21
Speaker
These early tragedies made a mark on Lovecraft, and he suffered multiple quote-unquote nervous collapses during his school years. And he continued to write in various letters to his friends of his ongoing depression and feeling that life was ultimately meaningless as he continued through adulthood.
00:06:37
Speaker
Now, Lovecraft published his first work of science fiction in 1919, and the following year in 1920, he began to create the series of tales that became his defining body of work, the so-called Cthulhu Mythos.
00:06:49
Speaker
I will quote here from the H.P. Lovecraft Wiki, which describes the style of literature he was creating and shows how his early life tragedies and mental health struggles impacted his subject matter.
00:07:01
Speaker
Lovecraft's major inspiration and invention was cosmic horror, the basic premise of which is that the true workings of the universe are beyond human comprehension and that humanity's place in the cosmos is terrifyingly insignificant.
00:07:14
Speaker
A key feature of many of his stories is the existence of powerful extraterrestrial or supernatural entities that influence or threaten the human world in subtle ways, and whose mere perception by human observers often drives the latter to madness.
00:07:28
Speaker
Lovecraft has become a cult figure for his Cthulhu Mythos, a series of loosely interconnected fictions featuring a pantheon of human-invalidating entities. His works were deeply pessimistic, fabricating a mythos that challenged the values of Enlightenment, Romanticism and Christianity.
00:07:45
Speaker
Okay, I think I was today years old when I learned that Lovecraft wasn't the name of a genre but was actually the name of an author. Yes, yes. So he has spawned a genre and it is this very downbeat, very pessimistic view. Lovecraftian stories don't have happy endings.
00:08:04
Speaker
They usually end in madness and destruction and the complete breakdown of the characters in the stories. Woo! Woo! Yay! Going back to our reimagining of the opening sentence, what is Rilia? Rilia is the name of Cthulhu's sunken city, which features in his seminal text, The Call of Cthulhu, and Lovecraft describes it thus.
00:08:26
Speaker
The nightmare corpse city of Rilia was built in measureless eons, behind history by the vast, loathsome shapes that seeped down from the dark stars. There lay great Cthulhu and his hordes, hidden in green, slimy vaults, until the end.
00:08:42
Speaker
Now, the end in question is when the stars align and the city rises to the surface once more and heralds the destruction of humanity. Okay, that makes more sense now. So now we know what Lovecraft is famous for, we also need to address the multi-tentacled elephant-like beast in the room, Lovecraft himself.
Lovecraft's Racism and Cultural Reckoning
00:09:02
Speaker
He is not just the title of the book that we're reading today and not just the inspiration for the horrors contained within. he is a troublingly divisive literary figure thanks to his deep and persistent racism.
00:09:16
Speaker
His stories are shot through with a disgust for those who he sees as subhuman, which for Lovecraft was literally anyone who was not of white Anglo-Saxon English descent. Suffice to say, not only was his personal horror of race mixing, particularly between black and white populations in the US, a common feature of his works, he was a staunch white supremacist who thought Hitler had the right idea but the wrong execution. His bigotry was so extreme that he was mocked by his contemporary authors for being so embarrassingly racist, which is quite an achievement for someone that lived between 1890 and 1937.
00:09:51
Speaker
and nineteen thirty seven Oh, that's huge. Wow. Yes. Right off the bat, we have issues that someone would so overtly use Lovecraft as an inspiration for this.
00:10:06
Speaker
There's this fantastic article on Vox by Asia Romano. I'll link it in the show notes. It's well worth reading. It was published in 2020 and it discusses the racism at the core of Lovecraft's work in light of the release of a TV adaptation of the novel Lovecraft Country.
00:10:20
Speaker
And I've sent you a quote to read here, Melinda. H.B. Lovecraft and his works of literary horror are long overdue for a cultural reckoning because Lovecraft may have been one of the 20th century's most influential writers, but he was also one of its most gallingly racist.
00:10:37
Speaker
Lovecraft leaves no room for debate about separating the artist from their art. He injected many of his most famous and beloved stories with overt racist metaphors and frequent blunt literal racism.
00:10:49
Speaker
For the past decade or so, as the extent of his racism has become more widely known and acknowledged, horror and fantasy writers whose landscapes are saturated with Lovecraft's influence have been trying to figure out what to do about him. Throughout the decades, many of his fans have attempted to argue that actually Lovecraft wasn't that racist and that he would have eventually turned away from his beliefs if he'd only lived longer. This is a terrible argument. Lovecraft's form of racism was already profoundly more extreme than the air quotes here, typical racism of his time. And the assumption that he was growing more tolerant in his beliefs is based on wishful thinking.
00:11:30
Speaker
So, yeah, I promise guys, the rest of this episode is going to be a lot more fun and a lot more upbeat. But I really just wanted to frame this up for everyone as, you know, mashing together Pride and Prejudice in the works of a deeply racist author who has been going through a cultural reckoning since well before the publishing date on this novella is a choice.
Problematic Combination of Themes?
00:11:50
Speaker
And I don't think it was the right one. That's rough. But thank for letting us know. i think it's important. It's important to have these discussions. And now we can get...
Eerie Netherfield Visit
00:12:02
Speaker
to the plot. After our awful opening sentence, we rejoin Elizabeth as she haltingly approaches Netherfield, alone, unchaperoned, trying to get a peek at the new the new inhabitants of the house without so much as a whiff of an introduction having been sought by Mr Bennett first. Just...
00:12:26
Speaker
No. Within the universe of the novella, strange stories abound about the Netherfield estate, but Elizabeth has steeled her nerves because she simply must, for reasons unknown and never discussed, meet the new neighbours.
00:12:39
Speaker
And they turn out to be quite batty upon first impressions and deeply weird as the acquaintance extends. And I've got a quote here for you to read. Okay. As Elizabeth approached, the imposing iron gates, intricately wrought with twisted vines and thorny roses, disquiet stole upon her.
00:12:58
Speaker
It seemed an unseen shadow tainted the very air. A figure emerged from the entrance, startling Elizabeth from her thoughts. Good afternoon, Miss... Elizabeth Bennet. Elizabeth waved behind her towards her home. Okay. Miss Bennet, what an unexpected pleasure, said the fair-haired gentleman.
00:13:19
Speaker
He smiled, though the expression did not reach his watchful gaze. Not only is she there just introducing herself for no known reason, why is she waving behind herself to a house that is three miles or nearly five kilometers away? i thought she was waving at him at first and I'm like, hang on, why isn't she curtsying? And then I'm like, no, she's waving to the house. That makes even less sense. A house that is five kilometers away and on the opposite side of Meriton.
00:13:50
Speaker
It's a choice. It's a choice. Lizzie, entering the house, does gift us with one of the best additions to literature in general, and I will be thinking about this phrase, for years to come.
00:14:03
Speaker
Elizabeth allowed herself to be waved into the darkened interior, hoping she did not come to regret her decision. Though miss Mr Bingley's charm had eased her initial discomfort, Elizabeth could not escape the feeling she was stepping into a place not meant for the eyes of strangers. She gripped her skirts as if they could shield her from what lived within the heavy stillness.
00:14:26
Speaker
gripped her skirts. I'm cackling. I'm just absolutely cackling at the thought of this scene with the costumes from the 95 adaptation, just white knickling the side seam of your Regency cut day dress. like I'm going to need to use this in everyday language from now on.
00:14:45
Speaker
Come on ladies, grip your skirts.
00:14:50
Speaker
It's a really great replacement for gird your loins. Yes, that's what I was like, what does this remind me of? And I couldn't think of it. And yes, grip your skirts, ladies. We're hitting the town. I don't know.
00:15:01
Speaker
Elizabeth goes in. She meets Darcy in a spectacularly boring way and they have tea that tastes bad served by footmen who are acting strangely. Elizabeth and Darcy have such an intense, instant attraction that Mrs Hurst notices and gets very annoyed.
00:15:18
Speaker
Miss Bingley, please note, is not present for this scene as she is in bed sick. Now, the Lizzie in this story gives us long, rambling thought paragraphs that telegraph the narrative of the book, and I'm going to read you this paragraph that closes out chapter one as an example of the writing style.
00:15:38
Speaker
Despite her better judgment, Elizabeth felt the pull to uncover the secrets of her mysterious neighbours. This troubled her. Elizabeth feared Netherfield was not meant for the living, a home of sinister truths to freeze one's very soul, and part of her wondered, only half in jest, if her troubled feelings for Mr Darcy could prove the greatest danger of all.
00:16:02
Speaker
Girl, what feelings? He spoke three sentences and I can assure you none of them made any sense. Also, what makes a manor house unfit for the living? Like if you want to meet the neighbors, you've walked over there to meet the neighbors, but it's not livable.
00:16:18
Speaker
Like, I know she means metaphorically, but what? I know. And it just, it's so repetitive already. She felt like she was stepping into a house that wasn't meant to be seen by human eyes. And then at the end of it, she narrates back to herself again that Netherfield is not for the living. But also, we've already had these foreboding feelings. There are two quotes and they're already in there. And like you said, there's a lot more of them.
00:16:42
Speaker
This has got to be building up to like the biggest thing in the world for this much foreboding. Overthinkers don't forebode this much. Like, yeah, I'm not expecting a good payoff.
00:16:54
Speaker
Lizzie's in the corner just foreboding to herself in the same way that Mr. Darcy's in the corner just brooding to himself. We've got a brooder and a foreboder. So you can tell me at the end whether or not you think the payoff is worth all of the foreboding. But anyway, I don't have high hopes.
00:17:09
Speaker
Let's continue.
Ball at Meryton and Sinister Caroline
00:17:10
Speaker
From this scene, we switch immediately into the middle of the ball at Merriton. Like literally, Jane has danced with Bingley twice already.
00:17:22
Speaker
Mrs Bennet is behaving like, well, herself. And Darcy's making heart eyes across the room at Lizzie, much to the annoyance of Mrs Hurst.
00:17:33
Speaker
And I'm going to read you a little quote here as well. Mr Darcy says he has no desire to dance this evening, said Mary, peering at the gentleman through the lenses of her spectacles.
00:17:44
Speaker
But I believe you have caught his attention nonetheless, Lizzie. Elizabeth laughed, shaking her head in denial, though she could feel a blush rising in her cheeks. Mr Darcy wants naught to do with the likes of us, Mary. He has already said he has no wish to dance. Let us find partners of our own.
00:18:00
Speaker
The two Bennet sisters joined the line of dancers for a country reel. I'm sorry, what? What is this about married dancing? I thought there weren't enough men to dance, but you girls are simply just joining a line of people? Who asked you to dance? Ladies? They asked themselves, even though it's Regency England and that's not what happened.
00:18:20
Speaker
that's it It's like Mary's being Charlotte here. It's weird. It's very strange. This is also the only time that Mary appears the entire book. Oh, cool. It's one of those. Okay. Yeah, it's one those. It's just like checking off a name.
00:18:33
Speaker
So after that aberration, we finally meet Caroline Bingley, and she is appropriately evil. Like, stone-cold fire and brimstone evil. And I've got a quote here.
00:18:45
Speaker
Elizabeth suddenly found herself face to face with Caroline Bingley. An unpleasant chill gripped Elizabeth and her skirts as she met the woman's gaze. Her eyes flickered with a sinister green as the candles above sputtered, thrusting the room for a moment into stuttering shadow.
00:19:06
Speaker
A cloying metallic scent touched Elizabeth's nose, reminding her of the aftertaste of Netherfield's bitter tea. And Elizabeth shuddered. Hang on, did they drink Caroline Bingley's blood?
00:19:17
Speaker
Like, what is happening? Elizabeth bangs on and on about how bad the tea at Netherfield tasted and like how off-putting it was along with like how weird everyone was behaving. i I'm...
00:19:28
Speaker
Kind of sounds like Carol Ann Bingley has been raised from the dead here. I'm trying not to get ahead and I'm not looking at you, Steph, in case I accidentally have given something away. They're definitely trying to very unsubtly telegraph something to you.
00:19:43
Speaker
Just a side note here, we do briefly meet Charlotte and she is described as elizabeth Elizabeth's quote-unquote bosom friend. She appears all too briefly and she never reappears.
00:19:57
Speaker
This will happen a lot with all of your favourite side characters. Which does tend to happen in adaptations, but also this is 150 pages so they clearly have to click along a little bit.
00:20:07
Speaker
In an interesting aberration from the original text, Darcy heads towards Lizzie to ask her to dance when he is intercepted by Miss Bingley, who demands to know if he's going to ask that Miss to dance.
00:20:23
Speaker
He delivers his not-handsome-enough line to her instead, and then this scene plays out. The words struck like a blow, and Elizabeth's cheeks burned with humiliation. Her throat tightened and her eyes stung, but she refused to grant Caroline the satisfaction of tears. Mr Darcy's features betrayed a flicker of regret,
00:20:43
Speaker
As Caroline clung to his arm, Elizabeth's gaze shifted to Caroline, noticing a triumphant gleam in those malicious eyes, and she realised then that Mr Darcy's cruel words had not been his own. Rage burned through the haze of Elizabeth's hurt. She lifted her chin, staring Caroline down in defiance.
00:21:04
Speaker
Caroline's eyes flashed green again, and Elizabeth smelled sulphur. The punch table shook, rattling the crystal cups and decanter. Elizabeth started, glancing about for the source of the disturbance, but nothing seemed amiss, the others continuing their merrymaking without pause.
00:21:20
Speaker
You look so confused. For the viewers at home, I have my hand up to my mouth and I'm staring wide-eyed at the text in front of me trying to interpret what just happened.
00:21:32
Speaker
ah um So, at this point we've established that Miss Bingley is both possessed and possessive. The less-than-subtle hints continue to hammer home that something is rotten in the state of Hertfordshire.
00:21:46
Speaker
Anyway...
Narrative Inconsistencies and Gothic Atmosphere
00:21:47
Speaker
It's the next morning now, and Jane has been invited to Netherfield for dinner by Miss Bingley. Elizabeth tries to stop her going, and everyone, including Jane, thinks she's jealous.
00:21:58
Speaker
So she relents and agrees that it is a good idea. And then suddenly it's the next morning, and Lizzie has a note from Jane saying that she's ill. How did Jane get to Netherfield?
00:22:08
Speaker
Why was the alarm not raised when she didn't come home the night before? Who knows? Certainly not I i actually had to reread this section several times because my brain just backfilled the details.
00:22:22
Speaker
My brain just slotted in the details about, oh yeah, Jane went on horseback. and And when it's mentioned in the next chapter that the rain had stopped, I thought to myself, ah, yes, and Jane got wet on the horse. Hang on a second.
00:22:34
Speaker
Turn back a page. When she left, it was blazing sunshine. When Elizabeth is reading the note, it's also blazing sunshine. I don't remember there being a horse mentioned.
00:22:46
Speaker
And yes, I was right. A full two pages after Lizzie gets the note from Jane... It is noted that Jane was not thrilled about going on horseback in the rain, but also Mrs. Bennett is asking if Jane's letter is about the society that she's experiencing on her stay in Netherfield. Mate, she was going for dinner.
00:23:06
Speaker
There is no society there. It's one family. It's a choice. It's a weird choice. This one, much more so than any of the others I've read, really relies on you to do what I did when I read it the first time, which is just imagine that the detail was there. Just backfill it in your mind.
00:23:25
Speaker
Yeah, that makes it tricky. Then we have Lizzie demanding to go to Jane and before she leaves, she sneaks into Mr. Bennett's library to steal an iron filigree cross off his bookcase while he's napping.
00:23:40
Speaker
Please note the only time in the adaptation that Mr. Bennett speaks is in this scene where he mumbles about ancient ones and madness in his sleep.
00:23:52
Speaker
So how does Elizabeth know to grab the iron filigree cross? Like, has she learned? like I ah think that's what's interesting about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, right, is that the rest of the characters are there and the girls learn about zombies from their parents and are able to. And they're educated in China. Yeah.
00:24:12
Speaker
And Lizzie is just riffing. Yep, she had a bad feeling. So she's going to rescue her sister with an iron cross. She specifically goes for this cross because it's made of iron. And I'm like, okay, iron's going to help you if it's fairies, but I'm not sure it's going to help you with anything else, love.
00:24:30
Speaker
I love that you can just pull that fact out of thin air. Like iron will help with the fairies, but nothing else. I'm like, it's a cross. yeah My brain went to vampires. Are you going to stake them through the heart with it? ah So fairies and the fey folk can't touch cold iron.
00:24:49
Speaker
And I'm guessing that is the implication here, but also we're not dealing with fairies or the fey folk. We're dealing with Lovecraftian monsters. If they are repelled by cold iron, someone please do correct me on that, but Cthulhu's the size of a skyscraper. I don't think an iron and cross is going to help you. She's going stab him in the pinky toe.
00:25:10
Speaker
yeah I'm just going to stab the very end of one of his tentacles. Yes. I said pinky toe and I'm like, Lovecraft, you monsters probably don't have toes.
00:25:21
Speaker
They do now. He has a pinky tentacle. So Elizabeth arrives in the swirling mist to the gothic marvel that is Netherfield House. And the description is really laying it on thick now. The author is shaking us by the collar, screaming, something bad is going to happen. And I've got this scene here setting it out for you.
00:25:40
Speaker
The footman showed Elizabeth into the breakfast nook. A spacious room, how is a nook spacious? Dimly lit by the grey morning light filtering through narrow windows.
00:25:51
Speaker
Damp, dreary cold permeated the space. Despite the hour, shadows lingered in the corners as though night still clung to the estate. An opulent table commanded the room, ringed by engraved chairs cloaked in lush damask.
00:26:07
Speaker
The buffet held a bevy of silver trays, gleaming dimly blackened through neglect. With each detail, Elizabeth's disquiet grew, her nerves strained for any sound that might pierce the unnatural silence. You gotta give it this, it is very dramatic.
00:26:25
Speaker
ah The blackened silverware as metaphor for evil blackening the estate is reused again and again throughout the novel, and it's really tiresome. Now, despite the novel being so short, I'm going to skip over quite a lot here.
00:26:41
Speaker
We're on page 40 of 150, and most the story has already happened. What? most of the story has already happened what And what? There is so much padding in the remaining 110 pages that the actual meat of the storyline is very thin and stringy.
00:26:57
Speaker
Sticking with terrible metaphors here. I think they just need more descriptions of the silverware. ah No, right? Or the mask on the table. Yeah. Now, I want to caveat here again that yes, I am being very mean about the way this book is written.
00:27:12
Speaker
And I do remember promising you guys back at the beginning when we started that I wouldn't be doing this. I will address my attitude in the analysis section and give a good reason for it, I promise. So bear with me while we dissect this gruel for a bit longer.
00:27:28
Speaker
The next few scenes are long and laborious, with lots of literal ill winds and dark shadows sprinkled throughout. Lizzie heads up to Jane's room to find her pale and withdrawn. She plonks the cross down in the room, causing Miss Bingley to get mysteriously very angry.
00:27:45
Speaker
Narrator injection, it was in fact not mysterious at all. Jane miraculously recovers almost immediately. Shock! Wow, couldn't see this coming.
00:27:57
Speaker
Elizabeth is convinced to leave her for dinner, and a short while later, Jane's piercing scream fills the manor. Elizabeth books it back up the stairs, the cross is missing, and Jane is much, much sicker.
00:28:09
Speaker
Lizzie follows her gut instinct to the kitchen. Whoops. and finds the cross melting in the fire. The following things then happen. The cross is in the hearth and has melted into an evil simple that hurts her brain to look at.
00:28:24
Speaker
Side note, the melting point of iron is over 1500 degrees Celsius, so I'm not sure why the kitchen in Netherfield has an industrial smelter installed. I'm now imagining that Netherfield is like a metal refinery.
00:28:39
Speaker
Lizzie is spooked by the melted cross thingy and hits it with a pot, which then flings itself back at her at high speed so she
Darcy's Past and The Malevolent Entity
00:28:47
Speaker
dives onto the floor. Mr Darcy charges in and grabs a knife. Lizzie thinks she's going to be murdered, but instead he slices his hand open and bleeds onto the cross, causing it to crumble into ash.
00:28:57
Speaker
Good one. Well done. So far, very normal. So I've got to knit a little abridged excerpt here that I'm going to read so you too can experience learning about the big bad and Darcy's tragic backstory in the same way that I did.
00:29:12
Speaker
Mr. Darcy came to her then, enfolding her in an embrace as the first tears spilled down her cheeks. Elizabeth me shuddered, feeling safer in his arms than she had since coming to this place.
00:29:26
Speaker
Why are they hugging? why are they hugging? I'm sorry. You see clearly, too clearly, Mr Darcy murmured. I wish I could have spared you such knowledge. That was the sigil of the Yellow King, a warning of darkness yet to come.
00:29:43
Speaker
Okay. Elizabeth pulled back to gaze up at him in wonder and dread. You know of this evil? Mr. Darcy's eyes were haunted, filled with memories of loss.
00:29:55
Speaker
As a child, my mother and i encountered something, an entity, ancient and malevolent, that sought entrance into our world through Pemberley.
00:30:06
Speaker
He shuddered. My mother sacrificed herself to seal the portal, saving me. But the scars remain. Wow. Elizabeth gasped, her hand flying to her mouth. No wonder this man seemed cloaked in secrets and sorrow.
00:30:23
Speaker
Sorry. To witness such darkness as a child and lose his mother to its grasp. I have studied this evil sense, hoping to find a way to destroy it once and for all, even as I prayed never to encounter it again.
00:30:39
Speaker
But it wears new faces and hides behind the walls of ancient houses, corrupting all within. It is written in old texts, but the words are more ravings than fact.
00:30:53
Speaker
These ancient ones, or elder gods as they are often called, have been here for at least as long as man, and I fear they are growing stronger or the barrier between our world and theirs is weakening. Okay, first of all, incredible applause for your Mr Darcy. Thank you.
00:31:12
Speaker
Tortured man, reliving trauma voice. Second, it is very strange to me that this whatever is coming...
00:31:23
Speaker
is bouncing around rich people's houses try to break out. Well, I tried at Pemberley, but that didn't work. I popped down the road at Netherfield. Like also just the just the Mr. Darcy being like the ancient ones or elder gods as they are often called.
00:31:41
Speaker
We could have just called them Elder Gods, guys. Yeah, so that's how we're introduced to the big bad. And this is where we start to barrel headlong into our Lovecraftian imagery. And actually, the book mashes up quite a few literary creations to make this big bad. There is an eldritch being called the king in yellow. And I quote from the amazingly named website rulesofgruesome.com.
00:32:05
Speaker
Perfect. No notes. The King in Yellow is an enigmatic figure connected to the forbidden play that drives those who read it to insanity.
00:32:16
Speaker
This being is the titular character of Robert W. Chambers' 1895 collection of short stories, which dealt with the themes of madness and otherworldly horror that would then become central to Lovecraft's work when he started writing a few years later. And indeed, the story of The King in Yellow was a strong influence on Lovecraft's best-known creature, the aforementioned Cthulhu.
00:32:36
Speaker
So you can see where they're pulling all of these things and all these inspirations from. but like, guys, the king in yellow and you're like, oh no, just call it the yellow king instead. Yeah, I was trying to figure out what a random royal had to do with anything. So this is where we start to get the first whiff-waffs of the despair that is central to Lovecraft's work. There is this beast that can only be defeated by an act of self-sacrifice. So one of them will have to willingly go to their death to save the world before the end of the novel is sort of where we what we're getting telegraphed at this point.
00:33:08
Speaker
But we're getting ahead of ourselves. Before then, Darcy will arm himself with a gun. Sure. That'll work. Yeah. You know what we need against an otherworldly horror? A shotgun.
00:33:20
Speaker
Yep. I'm imagining one of those like little old school pistols that like have one shot and then you have to reload. He would have a musket. Useless. Do you have any idea how long it takes to reload a musket?
00:33:32
Speaker
Long enough that it's not helpful against a Cthulhu. Exactly! sir Darcy arms himself with a gun. He and Elizabeth will venture into the swirling mists outside the house and they'll search for the entrance to the place that holds the portal, which they will immediately find because Elizabeth in this story is a Mary Sue who thinks things to herself like, as long as she was with this man, she could face whatever awaited them.
00:33:55
Speaker
The end would come as it willed. This moment and the connection between them was enough. Girl, you met this guy like, well, indeterminate number of days ago, but you know They've shared like five sentences at this point. which just And a hug. Unsanctioned, unchaperoned cuddle.
00:34:14
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were just like hanging out in the kitchen and they kind of almost got to the point of making out, but then Bingley walked in to be like, why are you guys in the kitchen? What's going on? Just, I left that video out because, yeah, whatever. So after we've all had a little dry wretch after listening to that wonderful sentence coming out of little Elizabeth's brain, we good?
00:34:34
Speaker
Because before Elizabeth and Darcy can leap into the subterranean abyss, they encounter a giant wolf monster made of reanimated bones inside a sack of skin that tries to eat them.
00:34:46
Speaker
What? Yeah. i I don't know why. Apparently there's voodoo involved in this as well. I don't don't know how. I don't know why. There's no explanation of where it comes from, how it was made or how it got there.
00:34:58
Speaker
Okay, Wolfman, excellent. But it's okay because they jump through the automatically closing stone door and now we're in a tunnel to an otherworldly portal.
00:35:09
Speaker
Turns out Netherfield was built on top of an ancient temple belonging to doomsday cultists who were trying to rip open the portal between the Eldritch dimension and manifest the Yellow King into our world. I mean, whoever built Netherfield must have got an absolute bargain on that piece of real estate.
00:35:25
Speaker
Yeah, well, the neighbourhood's clearly going to the swirling mist, so it was cheap. It was cheap, guys! So our intrepid duo set off down the tunnel to face a series of horrors that are attempting to be Lovecraftian in nature before we get to the big showdown at the portal that you all know is coming.
00:35:42
Speaker
The first horror is a pit of wet, viscera-covered bones that appears to be mumbling to itself? And I quote,
00:35:54
Speaker
Whispers teeming with madness scratched at the edges of Elizabeth's hearing, growing louder with each step. They reminded Elizabeth of her deepest shames and secret fears, sins imagined and real, poisoning memories she thought long forgotten. Even as she clenched her eyes shut, she could not block out their insidious voices.
00:36:14
Speaker
Cool. Cool, cool. Mumbling bones. Mumbling bones. We're fine. Everything's cool. Everything's cool. Next is a cross between a kraken and a praying mantis made of obsidian.
00:36:25
Speaker
What? I mean, at least I know what those two things are. So that's a win. ye It's made of obsidian and this one is definitely singing. It's calling out a siren song and it's willing them to throw themselves into its embrace. It's like a statue, so I don't know how that would work. And accepts their oblivion.
00:36:45
Speaker
The book has our dashing duo rescue each other from this monstrosity because they need each other. They're a team. To be fair, this creature is quite fun and possibly my favourite part of the book, even though it is a blatant ripoff of our mate Lovecraft.
00:36:59
Speaker
Darcy does refer to it as Tulu the Devourer. Come on, man. It's that's like a little too close to Cthulhu there, friends, especially when you've been calling it the Yellow King. What is a Tulu? Is it its cute nickname?
00:37:12
Speaker
Is it his like little buddy? He's the Yellow King, but I just call him Tulu. I thought when you first said that, you said Tutu, which just conjured up a really spectacular image of me of a Kraken in a Tutu.
00:37:26
Speaker
Incredible.
00:37:30
Speaker
Anyway, back to our glassy friend. I have a bit of a scene here for everyone's entertainment as well. I've gone with like large chunks of text for this one because you really have to experience it. And I feel like it's it's much better than me just being like, no, no, I promise it's funny.
00:37:46
Speaker
The whispers coalesced into a sibilant chant, clawing at thought, demanding she give herself unto its embrace. The chanting throbbed inside her skin, threatening to shatter her reason.
00:37:59
Speaker
Mr Darcy grasped the hilt of a dagger, bearing its blade in grim purpose. The words he spoke seemed half-remembered ritual as he slid the edge across his palm. You shall not have us! His shout rang out in defiance, a shield as potent as the sacrifice now given. Two drops of blood and you've got a massive shield.
00:38:21
Speaker
blood thick and dark welled from the shallow wound. The shallow wound is not bleeding that much. And he touched his reddened thumb to her brow. ill I don't care if you're saving me from Lovecraftian whatever, do not put your bloodied hand on my forehead. Just giving you a little sign of the cross on the forehead but in my own blood. ah Or like Simba at the...
00:38:45
Speaker
The cool thing. We're have the key. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Simba. Remember? I can't it.
00:38:55
Speaker
I'm too laughing too much. I'm going to go on mute.
00:39:02
Speaker
So, in saving her, Darcy had left himself vulnerable to the statue's influence. She threw herself in front of him, an instinct as old as the entities that sought their end, moved her hand. She pulled the dagger's hilt from Mr. Darcy, slid the blade across her palm. Elizabeth took his hand, mixing her blood with his. Words of binding came unbidden to her lips, mingled prayer and covenant as the darkness shrieked its fury.
00:39:31
Speaker
Guys, that's really unsafe. You don't even know each other and now you're just like puddling your blood together? oh yeah, that's... Also, if Darcy's blood was protecting them, why can't it protect him?
00:39:43
Speaker
So, after narrowly escaping death again, the two of them take a moment to wildly make out. What? Things get a bit hot and heavy when... The Bingley's arrive through a different, apparently much safer entrance into the temple with Mr Bingley carrying Jane's unconscious and nearly dead body.
00:40:03
Speaker
And honestly... I thought we were headed into our bit of hanky-panky here. it very much feels like there may have been a spicy scene here that was deleted, but we're abruptly back into the action and we have apparently remembered that we're here to seal a portal to an Eldritch Abomination dimension and not just like wildly make out with someone we barely know.
00:40:23
Speaker
I have no words. The Bingley's are led by Caroline. The Hursts have been implied to have been under a spell for some time. Until this point, all Mr Hurst has done is hum disconcertingly in the corner of whatever room he is in. And Mr Bingley appears to be a willing participant in the plan to sacrifice Jane and open the portal.
00:40:42
Speaker
What? Bingley's a villain? You'll find out. Oh no The book wants you to think that he's a villain, but he's in fact a very poor misdirect and it is abundantly clear, very, very quickly, that Bingley actually seems to think he's taking Jane somewhere where she'll get medical help because he too is under a spell. Okay.
00:41:03
Speaker
There's no tension in this novel. None. And this is where Mr. Darcy... reveals his true colours. And I quote, Mr Darcy's grip tightened as he dragged her into the light. Elizabeth looked up confused, his cold eyes glittered with something harder than stone. Caroline!
00:41:23
Speaker
Mr Darcy called out to Elizabeth's horror. I come to join the ritual. This woman's blood will make a fine addition. What? he's not going to be bad is oh it's no way Oh, no. It turns out all the kissing and the flirting over defeating the elder gods was all a rose. And now he's going to bleed her dry in the ritual. Oh, wait. No, no. Within like two sentences, he whispers for her to trust him and all the tension is gone from the scene again. Huh.
00:41:48
Speaker
And then we get our first glimpse of the altar and the portal that is going to tear our world asunder and leech cosmic horrors into our universe. This was a place where hope could find no purchase.
00:42:02
Speaker
All comfort leeched by the sinister aura permeating each crack and crevice. Her eyes lit on an unpainted circle of stone behind the altar.
00:42:14
Speaker
It was as tall and wide as two blacksmiths standing shoulder to shoulder. That's a metaphor. Elizabeth froze, realising its purpose.
00:42:26
Speaker
This was where the rift would split asunder, allowing the Yellow King's passage into their realm. How does she know that from two blacksmiths standing side by side? I mean, I know they're not there, but... yeah Yes, the the famous standardized unit of measurement, blacksmith's shoulders.
00:42:42
Speaker
So, um at this point, Miss Bingley is armed with an obsidian scepter and is chanting the ritual. As Mr Bingley has plopped Jane down on the altar and told her that really, it's all for the best.
00:42:55
Speaker
Wow. i know he's possessed, but wow. It's all right, darling. This is going to be fun. So Elizabeth is to be sacrificed first, of course, but Mr. Darcy goes into action hero mode and crash tackles Caroline off the side of the altar so that Lizzie can grab Jane and run.
00:43:11
Speaker
Obviously, Jane is unconscious and this fails miserably until Mr. Bingley suddenly comes to the rescue with what is actually quite a well-characterised scene playing out. Quote, Mr Bingley cocked his head and then, to Elizabeth's utter shock, put his arm beneath Jane and half-lifted her towards Elizabeth. Jane coughed and her eyes fluttered again.
00:43:31
Speaker
Elizabeth got her arm around her sister's waist as Mr Bingley crossed to Jane's other side. Between him and Elizabeth, they managed to half-carry, half-drag Jane from the altar. "'This, uh, this place is, uh, troubling,' Mr Bingley stuttered, glancing backwards towards the forming portal, crackling yellow over the stone behind where his sister and Mr Darcy wrestled for the scepter. "'Caroline is acting most peculiar, is she not?' Yes, quite.
00:43:57
Speaker
While Elizabeth did not want to judge a gentleman for his behaviour while under the control of otherworldly evil, she hoped Jane survived to find another suitor. Whoa! We have Mr Bingleyshade! Mr Bingleyshade!
00:44:11
Speaker
Yes, he's a little bit of a himbo at times, but he is yeah possessed. I feel like this captures his himbo nature quite well. He's like, Caroline's a tad peculiar right now. Mate, she's like glowing at this point. So unfortunately, they don't get much further because they are waylaid by the aforementioned wolf bone meat sack monster. And worst luck, Mr. Hurst drags Jane back to the altar.
00:44:38
Speaker
Now, this is where we get into more of the Lovecraftian nature of the horrors beyond, with lots of mentions of Time unwinding in whirl of shrieking moments spanning years and madness-inducing tear through which nameless terrors gazed with gnashing teeth and grasping claws.
00:44:57
Speaker
Let's note two things here before we go on. None of Jane or Elizabeth's blood has been spilled, so how is the portal open? And surely if they don't actually need a sacrifice to open it, they could have just opened it before?
00:45:10
Speaker
And secondly, the book can't decide whether or not the otherworldly horrors have tentacles or claws and it swings wildly between both descriptions. So now we're getting to the good stuff.
00:45:21
Speaker
Mr Bingley picks up the obsidian knife and steps up to the plate to slaughter his beloved Jane in the name of all things unholy.
Climax: Sacrifice and Love's Power
00:45:30
Speaker
But much to Caroline's rage, the spell is slipping again and he simply cuts a dainty nick into her shoulder rather than slashing her throat.
00:45:38
Speaker
Nevertheless, the effect is the same and the portal widens. Now, at this point, Caroline seems to have gained the powers of Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars. She summons electricity to her fingers and blasts her brother and Jane, or goes to like blast her brother and Jane with lightning fingers.
00:45:58
Speaker
Instead, Mr Darcy crash tackles her and she wipes out Mrs Hurst and the ceiling. Undeterred, she then tries to stab Darcy, but this is where Lizzie gets her girl power moment and she attacks Caroline.
00:46:11
Speaker
Elizabeth twisted in a surge of desperation, her boot connecting solidly with Caroline's midriff. Why has she got a midriff in a region? Okay. Caroline shrieked, staggering into the portal's glare.
00:46:24
Speaker
There she spasmed, flesh seared by its alien luminance. The portal only gaped wider, misty tentacles unfurling to claim their prize.
00:46:34
Speaker
Yeah, so Caroline's dead. Sweet. And Darcy is determined to close the portal by sacrificing himself, just like his dear old mum. Fortunately, Lizzie is still a Mary Sue, and the book has cribbed a deus ex machina from another famous fictional sacrificial mother, let's see if you can guess which one, Melinda, and realises that the pain of Darcy's death will only open the portal further. And I quote, To sacrifice yourself that way would only strengthen them." Mr. Darcy gazed into her eyes, seeing the truth laid bare, his shoulders slumped as understanding took the place of grim resolve.
00:47:08
Speaker
Then no force on this earth can defeat such evil. There is one! Elizabeth grasped his hands. Your mother did not give her life alone. In her death she showed her love for you and your sister.
00:47:19
Speaker
Mr. Darcy gazed in wonder at the woman before him, who had seen what he could not. Is this Lily Potter from the Harry Potter series? It's got to be, right? Yeah. I'm like, ani I was sitting there listening to that going, I have no idea where this is going. And it's like, oh, power of love, mother's, okay.
00:47:36
Speaker
Important side note here. This is very, very anti-Lovecraftian. In a true riff on the story, Darcy would kill himself to no end, Elizabeth would be driven mad by the unfathomable horror she had witnessed that was so beyond comprehension that her mind shattered into a million pieces upon seeing them. Remember, pessimism is the name of the game.
00:47:57
Speaker
Instead of which, the monsters try to eat them but they're overpowered by love and then the portal closes. Right. So we have a Lovecraftian Pride and Prejudice, but this is the Pride and Prejudice bit.
00:48:09
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is the love story bit. Yeah. Well, it is called Love, Lovecraft and mr Darcy. So we've had the Lovecraft. We now had to have the love. Yeah. And we've had the Mr. Darcy from the beginning. So, you know.
00:48:24
Speaker
Yeah. And that's it. The portal closes, the roof collapses, the wolf bone meat sack monster falls apart. There's a brief attempt at some tension as the book tries to convince you that maybe they won't make it out of the underground cavern, but they all do. Even the hearths make it out alive. The temple caves in, taking half the house with it, and Elizabeth and Darcy emerge victorious, if a little scarred. I'll spare you the description of the magic golden tentacle marks that they now have like matching tattoos. And we finish the book with the wedding breakfast for the happy couple.
00:48:53
Speaker
Lady Catherine is mentioned in passing as being annoyed. Someone makes an unsubtle remark about Beanley needing to propose. That's right, that hasn't even happened yet. And then we get a trite sign off about the power of love defeating darkness.
00:49:05
Speaker
And that's it. That's the book. Wow. Okay. 150 pages. She crammed a lot in, but also not a lot. There's so much filler. All right. So now we get to the analysis.
00:49:19
Speaker
And as we have already established, I love a good conspiracy theory. And it is time once again for the reemergence of my trusty tinfoil chapeau, And just what is my insane theory this time?
00:49:31
Speaker
You probably haven't noticed, but I haven't been saying, oh, the author does this or the author does that. I've been referring to the book like it is itself an entity capable of thought. And there is a reason for that.
00:49:42
Speaker
I think we have our first scam book. what that's right i don't think this is a real author and i don't think this book was written for any reason other than to ensnare fans of austin and pride and prejudice and get their money because i think this adaptation was written by ai no yes yes and that's a personal opinion for legal reasons so if you would care to follow me down the rabbit hole we are going to examine the evidence There are a few hints to this being AI generated.
Speculation of AI-Generated Content
00:50:16
Speaker
First of all, the author doesn't seem to exist. She has had no social media presence since 2020, when an account under the author's name posted a flurry of low-res nonsensical memes about Pride and Prejudice alongside ads for three racy versions of Pride and Prejudice. including the oddly named Mr. Darcy's Damaged Bride, which I refuse to look up or engage with in any way.
00:50:39
Speaker
Now, this novella was published in 2023 by Pemberley Playground Press. A search for the publisher yields a blog site with six clearly AI-generated SEO farming articles that all have variations on the same title.
00:50:53
Speaker
These were all published on the 10th of November. The site also has dead links to social media accounts that don't exist and an empty store page that is completely bereft of any books that you can buy. There's not even any pictures of them.
00:51:06
Speaker
So that's a dead end. And then thirdly, this is where we really start to go off the rails. The author acknowledgement page at the end of the novella is truly unhinged. It is not separated from the text of the novel in any way. It simply appears directly after the last line of the story.
00:51:28
Speaker
And it sees the author thank one Brenda Bryant for helping with the quote tagline for this book. The tagline, reading directly off the front cover here, is a gothic pride and prejudice variation. That's it. That's the tagline. Well done, Brenda. That took a lot of brain stars. I'm saying that because I'm pretty sure she's fake. I would not say that about a normal person, just to be clear. Never.
00:51:53
Speaker
The author also thanks Bella B, no surname this time, only an initial, for helping her to remember how to spell Longhorn. Not long born, long horn.
00:52:07
Speaker
I mean, it could be an inside joke, but also what? And then she thanks Ellie, no surname, no initial this time, her CliftonStrengths writing coach.
00:52:19
Speaker
I looked into this. CliftonStrengths is a pay-to-play professional development and personality testing program that also offers coaches for said professional development. There is no writing coaching available that I can see anywhere on their website, which to me, a modern-day Luddite who is anti-large language model, it sounds exactly like the sort of thing that a large language model would nonsensically mash together while scraping the internet for common items mentioned in real author acknowledgements.
00:52:53
Speaker
So on this topic, Reuters has been reporting on the flood of AI books that has swept through sites like Amazon, with scammers now also selling courses on how to use chat GPT to generate blocks of text, stitch them together into a novel, and sell them through the self-publishing unit of Amazon, which, funnily enough, is exactly where this book came from.
00:53:16
Speaker
Wow. I mean, I've bought some other things through the self-publishing unit that actually seem to have genuine people behind them. It's definitely not all of them, but yeah, this is a thing that's starting to happen.
00:53:27
Speaker
ah But I've done my due diligence here. What about the three books that Violet published in 2018, before large language models were copyright infringing on a mass scale all across the internet?
00:53:38
Speaker
Well... Excellent question. Back in the mists of time, instead of writing a prompt for an AI, you would simply produce a brief for a ghost writer whom you would pay a few dollars to churn out a novella for you and then attach a bunch of keywords to it so it comes up in as many popular search verticals on Amazon as possible.
00:53:55
Speaker
Pride and prejudice, anyone? Then you slap a cheap price on it like five US dollars and watch the orders roll in. I will link the Reuters article in the show notes, along with a longer examination on the fake publishing industry, including ghostwriting, by a favorite podcaster of mine, Robert Evans, on his substack. It's really interesting.
00:54:13
Speaker
Now, do I have any actual proof? No. But... Do I have one of the most egregious examples of a very common Pride and Prejudice fact being astonishingly wrong within the pages of this novella?
00:54:27
Speaker
Yes, I do. Because on page 33, the author has Mrs Bennet say the following insane statement. Okay, so this is Mrs Bennet speaking. You worry yourself over silly trifles.
00:54:41
Speaker
Our Jane is not so fragile as that all that, and soon she will be Mrs Jane Bingley with ten thousand a year. That is certainly worth enduring a sniffle and a cough.
00:54:52
Speaker
Ten thousand a year, Mr Bingley. It is such a basic and well-known Pride and Prejudice fact that I'm sure people who have never even read the book could tell you that Darcy has a fortune of ten thousand pounds.
00:55:08
Speaker
Wow. it just You're really good at picking the ones that require a tinfoil chapeau, hey? i just I didn't even choose this one for myself. How are we here again?
00:55:20
Speaker
you have it. In my personal opinion, this book is AI generated. So, as for the text itself, it barely rates an analysis. The paragraphs are long and laboured, as you have all experienced, and they often repeat themselves nonsensically.
Overall Critique of Writing Style
00:55:34
Speaker
There is a liberal sprinkling of clunky metaphors that is gratingly akin to reading a story written by an HSC student who's been thrown a curveball in the creative writing section of their final English exam and is deploying every literary technique they can possibly recall desperation.
00:55:52
Speaker
We've all been there. The characters also never develop. Like in Unleashing Mr. Darcy, Darcy himself is established as a good man very close to the start of the book, so there is nowhere to go with the character. Elizabeth is far too wimpy and reliant on him for her strength. Mr. Bingley gets a rough edit here as a truly blithering idiot who is under his sister's thumb. Jane may as well be the aforementioned sexy lamp. And Caroline's turn as the vessel of the otherworldly horror is all flashing green eyes, bad smells, and no true menace.
00:56:21
Speaker
Overall, the characters rely on the reader of filling in the blanks with what they already know about the characters from the original. It's a staggeringly awful book and its only redeeming feature is that it is mercifully short.
00:56:35
Speaker
Wow. I have no words. That was, that is wild. It's just the fact that the whole thing could be fake is fascinating. It has to be. I'm going to have to give this book to you. I want you to read it.
00:56:49
Speaker
okay As for my rating, this adaptation deserves nothing less than a most seriously displeased. Most of the characters, and indeed most of the storyline, is simply missing.
00:57:03
Speaker
Mr Wickham never appears. Our beloved Charlotte gets short-shift, as does Mr Bennett. We get as far as Jane going to Netherfield and falling ill, we shear off into a subterranean adventure, and then Lizzie and Darcy are getting married.
00:57:15
Speaker
Bingley and Jane aren't even engaged yet by the end. like How does the rest of the storyline even play out from here? It's also just not demented enough to merit an unhinged rating, a label that we are saving for the very cream of the insane crop.
00:57:30
Speaker
and Yeah, it's it's like it's a half. Now, there are novellas that exist, and I've seen them, where, you know, they they break the story down, but there's like usually a series of three of them. But this is just like you said, it's just gone. Let's make Netherfield evil, and we're done.
00:57:46
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It does fit with Jane going there and like getting ill and that sort of thing. But unlike some of the other supernatural ones that we will get into as we go through more books, there's just very little substance. And yeah, just the whole back end of the story is missing. book it's just It's just gone.
00:58:07
Speaker
So we hope you've enjoyed this episode of Jane Austen Remixed. We love exploring this wonderful corner of the literary world with you. Please share the podcast with your friends, family, literary fans and other Janeites. And we would love it if you could leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you are listening. This helps us to reach other fans of Pride and Prejudice and build our community.
00:58:28
Speaker
You can also follow us on Instagram at Jane Austen Remixed. And if you have a question or a suggestion for a book, movie, or something you'd like us to review, drop us a line. You can email us at JaneAustenRemixed at gmail.com.
00:58:42
Speaker
Join us in two weeks when we examine Elizabeth of East Hampton by Audrey Beleza and Emily Harding. And now one final question yeah finish off the episode. I'm...
00:58:56
Speaker
Really hesitant to ask this given we get some Netherfield and some underground. But Stephanie, does this Darcy dive into a lake?
00:59:08
Speaker
No. He barely does anything. He barely does anything except cut his hand open a bunch of times and pout. And shout some incantation that are he half remembered. And on that thrilling note, see you next time.
00:59:57
Speaker
you