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Finding Purpose After Retirement: The T.R.U.E. Method to Happiness with Former CEO Joe Elphick
49 Plays9 days ago
Joe Elphick is a lifelong entrepreneur and retired CEO whose book, TRUE Fulfillment, offers a pragmatic formula for creating lasting happiness in a world obsessed with temporary pleasure. Drawing on four decades building and selling a successful manufacturing company, Joe brings real-world experience to concepts scientifically studied and proven. He provides a modern, accessible path by translating longstanding truths into actionable practices.
Joe’s journey began from an urge to unpack the 10 Commandments for a new generation, wanting his family and others to find true happiness. The turning point came when he realized the Commandments primarily focused on what not to do, inspiring him to create a positive, actionable framework for lasting fulfillment.
Through this journey, Joe developed a unique approach to help individuals seeking deeper joy through what he calls the 10 Commitments to TRUE Happiness, explored using his signature TRUE method (Test, Reframe, Understand, Embrace).
Contact Joe Elphink on LinkedIn
Get in touch with Kendra Rinaldi, crator and host of the podcast
Show highlights:
- From Blue-Collar to CEO: Joe discusses his journey of growing a packaging business from a $600 piece of equipment into a $60 million company, and the unexpected void he felt upon retiring.
- A Playbook for Life: Why Joe wrote his book, True Fulfillment, as a legacy guide for his five grandchildren rather than to become a famous author.
- The T.R.U.E. Method: How to reframe negative rules, like the Ten Commandments, into positive, actionable commitments (such as turning "don't steal" into "be generous").
- The Moral Obligation to be Happy: How Joe navigated the devastating loss of his brother by actively choosing gratitude and focusing on the good times they shared.
- Building "Mental Muscles": Joe's practical daily habit of putting one specific virtue (like "Honesty") on his Google Calendar for an entire week so he can intentionally practice it.
- Giving Back: A note that all proceeds from his book go to the Children's Flight of Hope, a charity that flies sick children to receive medical care.
Recommended
Transcript
Finding Happiness Amid Grief
00:00:00
Speaker
You know, it's a great world out there. It's your job to be happy. Now find a way to get there. And, you know, there's always periods of grief. I mean, you can't you can't escape that. But I just try real hard and whatever experience grief is to let it get me. You know, like I had to win that battle or win that win that war. Just I can't let it own me. you know, I'll feel the grief. I'll understand it you You could wish it away, but it's always going to be there. But somehow you got to look
Introduction to 'Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray in Between'
00:00:27
Speaker
on the bright side. I lost ah my best friend and brother about seven years ago. Hardest thing I ever had to deal with.
00:00:36
Speaker
Welcome to Grief. gratitude and the gray in between podcast. I'm your host Kendra Rinaldi. This is a space to explore the full spectrum of grief from the kind that comes with death to the kind that shows up in life's many transitions.
Podcast Focus on Personal Stories and Advice
00:00:53
Speaker
Through stories and conversations we remind each other that we're not alone. Your journey matters and here we're figuring it out together. Let's dive right in to today's episode.
00:01:12
Speaker
Let's start with a quick disclaimer. This podcast includes personal stories and perspectives on topics like grief, health, and mental wellness. The views expressed by guests are their own and may reflect individual experiences that are not meant as medical advice.
00:01:30
Speaker
As the host, I hold space for diverse voices, but that does not mean I endorse every viewpoint shared. Please listen with care and take what resonates with you.
Joe Elphick's Background and Current Life
00:01:41
Speaker
Today on the podcast, we have Joe Elphick. He is a retired CEO and author who is guiding people towards positive living for true fulfillment. And I am looking forward to getting to know you and learn about your life. Welcome, Joe. Thank you very much, Kendra. Pleasure to be here.
00:02:02
Speaker
Thank you for joining us. Now, let's start by sharing to people where you are right now. as As we're recording, you are vacationing. So where are you? I'm vacationing down in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico on the West coast beautiful part of the world.
00:02:18
Speaker
Nice. Never been to Puerto Vallarta, but I'm sure it's beautiful. I've been to Cancun, but never to to Puerto Vallarta. But i've yeah,
Joe Elphick's Upbringing and Work Ethic
00:02:28
Speaker
I've heard it's beautiful. So where did you grow up, Joe, and where do you live currently? So I grew up in New Jersey, Catholic family one to nine.
00:02:38
Speaker
ah Didn't have much financially, but had strong parents, good willed parents, hard working dad and a a mother of firm principles, good old Irish principles. um It was a great place to come from. you know, when you don't have a lot, you want a lot and you learn how to get more your own way. And I'm very thankful for the upbringing that I did have.
00:02:59
Speaker
And it's just instilled a lot of things today. I look back of why I do things. A lot of it has been influenced by my mother and father.
00:03:08
Speaker
what What were some of these ways that they raised you that instilled this kind go-getter type of personality that then you ended up becoming a CEO?
00:03:20
Speaker
yeah i think the big thing was if you want something, that's fine. but figure out a way to get it without asking somebody else to get it for you. So your dad dad worked several jobs to support nine kids. He was a welder, blue collar worker, and it really saw you know the hard work he just displayed to the family all the time. that To support the family that large, you had to put hours in and work several jobs, and he he did what he had to do. And it was great work ethic that I think I inherited from him.
00:03:49
Speaker
And my mother was one of very much principles. you know ah i used to think I was a mirror growing up because everything I did was really it was a reflection on her. These kind of things, its your actions are bigger than your words, but everything to you know dressing correctly, looking good, and just strong principles.
00:04:13
Speaker
Where were you in the birth order with nine siblings? Where were you? That's a great question. It's ah a funny question. It's a funny answer. um The best way to describe, I had four older, I had four younger, i had four brothers and four sisters.
00:04:26
Speaker
Middle child syndrome all the way. all Wow, you were definitely right in the middle. So right right so off and art were the siblings... Were all four of the oldest boys and all the other four younger girls? No, they were mixed in between? No, no. They were all mixed up. yeah Mixed up, but you were right in the middle. Now, you grew up then in New Jersey. How did your life kind of evolve and where did you end up?
00:04:52
Speaker
living now?
Building and Selling a Business: A Turning Point
00:04:54
Speaker
I had some good work. I i left college early. um Again, if I wanted to go to college, I had to pay for it, find a way to get there. And I wound up working more to stay in school. And I decided ah I really enjoyed work. And I worked for a company that manufactured trucks. And I really found myself there that I loved um manufacturing and business. And I really enjoyed it. So about three, four years after that, I decided to Packed my little suitcase and head to North Carolina and bought a piece of equipment for $600. And we were just doing trade work for printers. They needed die cutting. and All the die cutting would sent away. And my goal was to make boxes, as crazy it may sound, paper boxes.
00:05:39
Speaker
And over the years, you know, just turn profit into... We kept reinvesting the profits and I had fantastic workforce here, fantastic management team. We grew the company to about 300 employees.
00:05:52
Speaker
um We grew a pretty large number, 60 million in sales. And by a time I sold it 2020 and we were supplying ah basically packaging components, folding cartons, medical inserts to large pharmaceutical companies.
00:06:08
Speaker
and that time was just right ah to sell the company and financial was the right time, my age was the right time. And um that's what I did. And I really didn't look forward to retirement. The truth be known, ah My wife for 30 years, decided that she won be single and we and all my wealth was tied up in the business. So the right thing was to do, sell the business, make her whole. We're good friends today. And the point saying all this is I didn't know what I want to do because I never thought of retiring. It didn't come into my mind. And I found out that it was a void. I really didn't care for retiring. I love to fish offshore. i love golf. But when you fish and you golf all the time, something's missing. you know that Those were escape mechanisms for me. I loved my work, but still, you stress yourself. You got to play golf. There's little wall, and out in middle the ocean is beautiful. But when you do it every day, it turned into work. And I just found myself a big part of
Legacy Through Writing
00:07:05
Speaker
that missing. And writing this book I wrote gave me some purpose, you might say. And it took me a year to write it. And the purpose of writing this book, True Fulfillment, was, um you know, today I'm 70 years old. My oldest grandchild of five of them now is five.
00:07:21
Speaker
And I want to leave something to them that could say maybe a playbook for life. You know, what's important in life? And the book outlines that. And, you know, I told my daughters, i have three daughters, don't give it to the kids till maybe after eighth grade, maybe after high school. But it's a good book. It's a good playbook to read.
00:07:40
Speaker
You're leaving your legacy there for them in in in the in the book. to see you know what what do i wonder what grandpa would do. Well, now they know. They know what grandpa would do with that book. And then it's also just for others. So true fulfillment.
00:07:55
Speaker
What would be your definition true True fulfillment. yeah It's amazing how the name of the book came after I wrote the book. and And sometimes, you know, it depends, it you know, it you call it karma, if you're religious, you call Holy Spirit, but something kept bugging me to write this book. And it was really based on the Ten Commandments. I a grew up Catholic, um but I didn't want to write a book about religion because I just find religion, I'm a looser Catholic today than I was then. know, mom was pretty strict, but...
00:08:24
Speaker
People fight about religion and I really want to write about mankind and what was good you for mankind. So you with with that in mind, um you notice that the Ten Commandments were looked down upon. you know You're not allowed taken out of schools. They're not allowed to... um you know be public, get there in the Supreme Court in the background the Ten Commandments. So I just found that interesting. And um how could something that's good be not allowed? And then I thought about It's because it's religious and people fight about it. so basically i tried to reframe the ten commandments into more practical things more about mankind and no matter what god you might have we're all created by something bigger and the and the prize for that was mankind so the book really centered about taking those ten commandments and reframing them you know for example thou uh shall not steal well that's that's a civil crime anyway but you you frame that to say well
00:09:23
Speaker
be generous. you know And that that whole chapter seven is about being generous. Instead of saying the negative, don't do this, it's do this. And that's that kind of what like I'd be talking to my grandkids.
Reframing Negatives into Virtues
00:09:35
Speaker
You know, the wording that you just said is is perfect because exactly with talking with children or to anybody, the moment you say the don't, I used to work with kids. And one of the things that was the rule is like, Instead of saying don't, we say what we the action that we want them to do because that actually is – because the moment you say don't, it actually already creates the image of that thing. So it would always be like, and don't throw the balls out of the ball pit. We wouldn't say that. We'd say, keep the balls in the ball pit. It's just all this reframing. But it's so funny, though, that then when I became a mom, all the don'ts, that that all of that lingo went out the door. i'm like –
00:10:16
Speaker
don't don't don't fight don't this and i'm like man i should apply it in my own household it's like can you could imagine you can imagine being an eight-year-old kid learning ten commandments and the sixth one is the asphalt not commit adultery and i said whoa i don't even know what adultery is you know so so how did you refrain that one how did you that was uh referring to uh loyalty you know Be loyal. right Be loyal. Loyal in everything. Loyal to you not only your spouse, but to your your your core beliefs. just
00:10:49
Speaker
you know Loyalty is a very strong word, but it really defines who you are. And if you go back and forth, you lose character, you lose backbone, you you lose your purpose. each Each one of those 10 commandments, then you basically flipped it into a virtue. Like what we virtue, what are we working on in order to not do this, right? Be generous, be loyal, be kind, whichever ones that apply. And those are so ah important in our lives to have these type of virtues. And that's really what...
00:11:21
Speaker
we travel in this on this earth to do, I feel. it's a way of acquiring Instead of acquiring riches, right it's another way of growing our virtues. So I love that that perspective of how you how you write that. Now let's let's talk about your own experience. You mentioned retirement. I'll go back to the book in a minute.
00:11:41
Speaker
And how that change of having worked all those years and all of a sudden you're shifting to not, Grief occurs in different life transitions and changing of a job, changing your marital status. All of those imply a huge transition and can bring up grief.
00:12:02
Speaker
How did you navigate? you i You mentioned golf and fishing. How else did you navigate all of the emotions of grief that might have showed up in these major life transitions that you had just not long ago?
00:12:15
Speaker
yeah ah Again, we all experience grief. and And again, that's something I've always been strong on. I always believe that you know you have a moral obligation to be happy. It's it's your job. It's your purpose.
00:12:26
Speaker
you know You can't be a good dad. You can't be a good husband. You can't be anything unless you strive for happiness. And that happiness exudes into all relationships. So there are times you just got to you pull up your bootstraps and get tough and smack yourself on the back of the head and say, hey, get over it. you know It's a great world out there. It's your job to be happy. Now find a way to get there. And you know there's always periods of grief. I mean, you can't you can't escape that, but I just try real hard and whatever experience grief is to let it get me.
00:12:55
Speaker
yeah like I had to win that battle or win that win that war. Just i can't let it own me. you know I'll feel the grief, I'll understand it. you You could wish it away, but it's always gonna be there. But somehow you gotta look on the bright side. i lost ah my best friend and brother about seven years ago, hardest thing I ever had to deal with. But, you know, in the turn, you said, well, how lucky I was to have a brother like that. And I remember the good times and things we did together. And, you know, these holidays pop up. It's i have a smile on my face about him, you know, so he was able to turn that grief into appreciation or gratitude.
00:13:32
Speaker
Yeah, it's hence the title of this podcast with grief, gratitude, you know, because it is it definitely shifts the perspective when we focus on The gratitude and when we focus on the things that we're happy, it shifts it without necessarily negating that those emotions are there of grief and sadness. That is valid. It's just how you reframe.
00:13:54
Speaker
So let's shift into your method, your true method.
Applying Virtues Practically
00:13:59
Speaker
Let's talk about, because you have these this this ah acronym that you use, and what does each one stand for?
00:14:09
Speaker
Sure. um I guess I can give you an example. um but Let's just take the seventh commandment, for example. So the true is ah is to, um now my book is not in front of me, so I'm going to have to really test is the first part to show. So test, do not steal. So think about that in today's world. That is, test, is that appropriate to tell a child or tell anybody, do not steal? it's obvious There's laws against that. So you know take the R and reframe it into a positive or something virtuous. So Instead of telling your child or your grandkids, don't steal, reframe that into be generous. Be generous with your time, your talent, your treasure.
00:14:48
Speaker
And then to understand that is a you. And then of course, the last is to embrace it and embrace that virtue of generosity. And again, that's that's the but good example of the true the TRUE method that's mentioned in the book.
00:15:05
Speaker
And how do you feel that when we live in that way, how does that end up leading to true happiness? Well, I think, again, if you look at the, again, it's 10 commandments reframed into 10 commitments.
00:15:19
Speaker
And those commitments all make you a better person. It makes you treat people better. And everything is reciprocal in life. You know, you get what you give. And the more you give that positive energy, it comes back.
00:15:33
Speaker
How do we implement the 10 commitments into our day-to-day to shift the way that we do, like practical ways in which we, because now we know how we're able to reframe it with that true method, right? Okay, let's, okay, how do we reframe it? How do we measure it? How do understand it? How then do we embrace it in order to live our life day to day and how to apply it.
00:15:59
Speaker
so So what I do, on my Google calendar, I take the 10 commandments is one word for each and every week, like this week is honesty. And I really believe all these commitments are like mental muscles you have. If you don't practice them, they go away. You really have to think about them. and question yourself um about these. So like this week is, if I look at my Google account all week, the word honesty is up there. And that's from the eighth commandment, do not bear false witness on the neighbor. So we we switch that into honesty. And every day I look my account, that word is up there and I think about it. And then there's times when, you know, it becomes part of my being is to to do that. And
00:16:40
Speaker
yeah know that's That's how I stay in tune it because I really believe these are mental muscles that you have to go to the gym and work out. And the more you do it, the more generous you try are, the more generous it just grows and grows and grows. I'm answering that correctly. you know and honestly No, no, that is perfect. Well, that is so practical what you just said because you actually put it on your calendar as to what is that – virtue or commitment that you're going to be working on the entire week. And so it's constantly in your in your mind. So even yeah even choosing for people that maybe journal or things like that, choosing that
00:17:16
Speaker
that virtue in this case, honesty of this one this week that you are having. And then even talking about or writing down what, what ways you were honest the day before reflecting on your life day to day and doing that every week, chip changing one, which one do you feel out of the commitments?
00:17:36
Speaker
wait can Are the, it's one of the hardest one to um
00:17:45
Speaker
I don't know, like when you're looking at your week and you label one like this week's honest. Okay. I can honestly, I can work on that. Is there one that you're like, this one's going to be little more work? I can't see any more like that. They're all easy. The thing remembering to do that. And the one that, you know, really, I always say that hit me was the last one was appreciation and, know, appreciation gratitude are two different
Gratitude vs. Appreciation
00:18:08
Speaker
expressions. Gratitude more within and you feel thankful, but appreciation is,
00:18:12
Speaker
verbalizing that to people you're thankful to and remembering to be appreciative and and not only just be it, but say it, express it.
00:18:22
Speaker
I love it. Which ways do you do that? Oh, I tell you, that's again, when it comes up, there's so much to appreciate. You know, my wife has been phenomenal. I've had some illnesses and she's a nurse practitioner. and I said, my God, I don't know how I met you or married you, but man, this has been something that I've been in the emergency room all weekend and we live on an island, so there's no emergency room. So yeah that's just sort a recent example of ah you know this special how I met you. And that's how you are a woman that has this expertise as a nurse practitioner to fix me when I'm broken and I'm a pretty healthy guy. So when I get sick, I'm a baby. I'm a mess. But um so that's the first one that comes to mind on vacation here. you know it's ah she had to bring some things with her because we almost canceled because I had some and' met a medical issue. And she said no, I got this. We're going. We got everything taken care of. So that that plays into it.
00:19:19
Speaker
and I love it. Okay, now I'm hearing some new information. So share with us about how it is you found love again. Are you open to sharing that since you're now then remarried and being open to these possibilities after a big change?
Unexpected Love and Charitable Support
00:19:37
Speaker
I don't think you find it. I think it finds you. and i really i think you can't go to mall shopping for that kind of thing. That's been my experience. It just it finds you and you would just open your eyes one day and say, wow, this this is this is going to be an interesting relationship.
00:19:53
Speaker
And then, you know it's about time time. time not only heals all wounds, I think it it it grows all crops to. ah yeah Especially if you're looking, if you're having your, you know, not like necessarily looking, but if you're open to receiving, then you're able to really start shifting the way that you do. I love it. Thank you for for sharing that, Joe.
00:20:15
Speaker
Joe, is there anything else that you'd like to share about your book that I have not asked you yet? and No, um you know, if the reader if the listeners want to get it's on Amazon.
00:20:29
Speaker
The comments, I don't have any, I don't want to be an author. That's not my deal to write the book. It's more of something I wanted to print and have for future generation. It went up being sold to people in prisons and things of that nature. going to fellowship groups. Some these people are coming up to me now and saying, wow, this has helped me and how it's helped me through. um Last week, somebody said forgiveness. My goodness, our family's been fighting. I got really strong. whole first chapter was about forgiveness and about being a strength.
00:20:57
Speaker
And the person came up me and said, my family's coming together because I had to be strong. and It was so hard to forgive because sometimes people don't let you forgive. So, that that was a big use so i didn't want to be an author that's not me but i wanted that so i've i have a special um email address true fulfillment at fastmail.com i look for comments and people comment and i enjoy hearing the comments on that but again to get the book i think it's a great gift it's a great playbook for kid for somebody going to college um My daughters always say they're going to use it when they do something wrong.
00:21:31
Speaker
Get that book and ah open up chapter eight. This is what Papa would have said. you know So that's what this book is about. and And just a side note, I support two charities. That's my retirement. um The major one and all proceeds on this book will go to the Children's Flight of Hope. We fly sick children all over.
00:21:49
Speaker
creation for special illnesses. And that's where the money goes for this. And it's mentioned in the book a few times, but that's, that's it. It's again, it's a, play it's a playbook and I enjoyed writing it. It was a struggle, but I'm happy it's finished. And I can't wait for someday my kids, my grandkids to enjoy it.
00:22:09
Speaker
That's wonderful. Thank you again. This was again, Joe Elphick and his book, True Fulfillment, which you can find on Amazon. Thank you, Joe.
00:22:20
Speaker
Thank you, Kendra. I appreciate it.
00:22:25
Speaker
thank you again so much for choosing to listen today. I hope that you can take away a few nuggets from today's episode that can bring you comfort in your times of grief.
00:22:38
Speaker
If so, it would mean so much to me if you would rate and comment on this episode. And if you feel inspired in some way to share it with someone who may need to hear this, please do so.
00:22:54
Speaker
Also, if you or someone you know has a story of grief and gratitude that should be shared so that others can be inspired as well, please reach out to me.
00:23:07
Speaker
And thanks once again for tuning in to Grief, Gratitude, and the Gray In Between podcast. Have a beautiful day.