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4. Overcoming Alcohol & Porn Addiction: How Hypnotherapy & NLP Can Change Your Life - Phoenix Interview
10 Plays1 month ago
Phoenix (also known as Thomas) is a master of mental engineering, helping people transform their deepest challenges in as little as 15 hours. Based in Denver, CO. After years of personal struggles, including social anxiety, addiction, and relationship challenges, he transitioned into hypnotherapy and NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). Phoenix now helps men overcome deep-seated emotional blocks, limiting beliefs, and addictive behaviors by working with the subconscious mind. His approach integrates hypnotherapy, timeline therapy, and parts work to facilitate rapid transformation.
Topics Covered:
The power of subconscious reprogramming
Why willpower often fails
How childhood trauma shapes adult behavior
Overcoming addiction (alcohol, porn)
Parts work and internal conflict resolution
Timeline therapy for emotional healing
Masculine energy and responsibility
The role of ayahuasca in trauma healing
Timestamps
00:00:00 - Introduction to subconscious control
00:01:20 - Phoenix’s background (engineering to hypnotherapy)
00:03:00 - The problem with willpower
00:05:18 - How childhood programming dictates behavior
00:08:20 - Hypnosis vs. Hollywood myths
00:10:42 - Free will vs. subconscious patterns
00:16:28 - Phoenix’s personal struggles (alcohol, relationships)
00:20:15 - The turning point (psychic reading, decision to change)
00:24:31 - Ayahuasca and repressed trauma
00:28:33 - How porn addiction connects to childhood wounds
00:35:39 - Replacing anger with empowerment
00:40:20 - Quitting habits with one decision
00:46:54 - Why men resist emotional healing
00:48:43 - Final thoughts on transformation
Get in Touch with Phoenix: 🌐 Website: https://themindguy.net/
Get in Touch with Dallas Bluth:
📧 Email: dallas@blackboxdating.com
🌐 Website: blackboxdating.com
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Transcript
Exploring Behavioral Control Limitations
00:00:00
Speaker
What you're saying suggests that there's a bouncer there telling me, not really. um I'm sort of stuck within a certain limited set. i mean how How much are we kind of fooling ourselves about how much we can control our own behavior?
00:00:13
Speaker
Yeah. Well, for me, what I have found is, and that was a really great question.
Phoenix's Introduction and Career Shift
00:00:25
Speaker
Tell us a little bit about yourself, Phoenix. What's your background? What brought you here? What kind of work are you doing now? Yeah, thanks, Dallas. ah Yeah, I go by Phoenix.
00:00:37
Speaker
um I have my own coaching slash hypnotherapy slash mental reprogramming practice here in Denver, Colorado. I've been doing it for about eight years now, and um I help people overcome big problems by working with the subconscious or the unconscious mind.
00:00:58
Speaker
um Before that, I was a civil engineer. I worked in precast concrete, did that for nine years. i absolutely hated every day of it. um And I feel like, ah yeah, was I've been guided on quite a journey and that you know I ended up doing a personal development seminar out in Boston, and i ended up quitting my job, buying a van rescuing a dog, and going on this epic road trip across the country.
Impact of Hypnotherapy on Phoenix's Life
00:01:27
Speaker
And on that road trip, I ended up at the Hypnotherapy Academy in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And it was life-changing because I didn't know how to... make change in my life the way that I wanted to. I had a lot of social anxiety. I had a lot of insecurity. I had a lot of doubt, a lot of fear.
00:01:44
Speaker
And this was like a mystery school where it gave me all these answers to things that ah is not common knowledge. So it was quite life-changing. And then after that, I ended up moving to Denver and starting my practice. So that's kind of the general summary of of what I do and and where I came from. Yeah.
00:02:04
Speaker
And how long has it been now that you've been practicing hypnotherapy slash, slash, slash, many other things? Yeah, since 2018. Yeah. yeah Okay. So it's been seven years now that you've been practicing this. So you've you've been around the block a few times then.
00:02:19
Speaker
I have been, yeah. I've been doing this for quite a while now. I feel like I've put in my 10,000 hours. um A lot of it has just been just... ah I'm a personal development junkie.
00:02:30
Speaker
And the reason I think I've been guided on this journey is because I've experienced a lot of suffering. And a lot of what I've done in my adult life is just trying to figure out how to end my own suffering, to be honest. Yeah.
00:02:43
Speaker
Gotcha. And when you went to this hypnotherapy school, um, you said they gave you some, did did you use the word secrets? What, what were some of the things that they turned you on to that you were not aware of that just, uh, ended up being a game changer for you?
00:02:59
Speaker
Yeah,
Understanding Subconscious Programming
00:03:00
Speaker
100%. Great question. Uh, I will tell you that 95% of what we do is based off of, uh, subconscious or unconscious programming.
00:03:10
Speaker
So when we try to make change in our life, oftentimes we try to use willpower. And willpower is not the most effective way to make change. There might be some people have extraordinary will, like they have have ah created a very strong skill set of will, but most people don't.
00:03:28
Speaker
And it was very eye-opening to know that 95% of what we do is based off of programming. And programming is really just automatic behavior. And that automatic behavior stems from the past.
00:03:40
Speaker
So they become patterns in our life. And a majority of those programs stem before the age of seven, before our critical thinking mind begins and in our reasoning.
00:03:51
Speaker
and it's all kind of repressed and we're not really aware of it. So I found that if you can go back to a root cause event, clear out the emotions, then the pattern disappears.
00:04:04
Speaker
That right there was life-changing. Well, so sort of going back to the start of the whole domino series, in a sense, where willpower, you're saying, is something where we're going around trying to push and pull, but it doesn't have a ah lasting impact. it doesn't have a a It doesn't sound like it's very sticky, maybe. We make the effort and it and the changes don't stick.
00:04:27
Speaker
Yeah. ah It really depends on how the strong the program is. So the more emotion that you feel in a past event, the stronger the programming, the more the the subconscious mind is trying to protect you from re-experiencing it.
00:04:42
Speaker
So there's more emotion. So um the difference between a fear and a phobia is how much emotion you felt in that first event or any of the series of events that came after that.
00:04:54
Speaker
So I'll give you a great example. So when you're a kid, The more people, the more authority figures, the more peers that are present when you something like traumatic happens or ah highly emotional event happens, the greater the emotions you experience as a child.
00:05:11
Speaker
Hence, you know, the stronger the program. And I'll give you a specific example, which will really paint the picture. I developed a big fear of public speaking and i would freeze. I couldn't speak.
00:05:24
Speaker
Uh, there'd be so much anxiety for days to come. And it just felt like everything inside of me was just trying to like stop me from doing it. And there was nothing I could do. i I even did community theater for five years and I went up and performed and, and did 24 And,
00:05:40
Speaker
and um and that the anxiety never went away. And when I was at the hypnosis academy and I did a regression back, it brought me back to when I was in first grade.
00:05:53
Speaker
I was on stage with my class. It was grandparents' day, so the gym was filled with teachers, students, grandparents, um parents, and we were singing Be Our Guest from Beauty and the Beast.
00:06:06
Speaker
And I thought the chorus was next, but the song was over. And I was the only one singing at the top of his lungs. And then everybody started laughing, but I couldn't process. I thought I had ruined the entire day. I was filled with embarrassment.
00:06:19
Speaker
So it was flooded with intense emotion because of the magnitude of how many people were there. And that's what created the phobia. So, yeah. So, yeah. So you were left out on an edge and that audit, the, an auditorium full of audience members was laughing at you and with the, with the kids on stage also kind of like, wow. So that, that just, yeah, that exposure, that intense emotion. And so then that, were you aware of this memory of impacting you for your life or did it only resurface later when you tried to get out on stage again for, for speaking and performing?
00:06:53
Speaker
Yeah.
Demystifying Hypnosis
00:06:54
Speaker
So the memory was completely blocked out until I did the hypnosis session. So I don't even remember the last time I had thought about that.
00:07:04
Speaker
So was probably elementary school. And that's very common. Most people don't have a lot of memories before the age of seven. And you know that's what makes it so difficult to find these things. And that's where going into trance state, going into hypnosis, you can find the things that are hidden from you.
00:07:24
Speaker
Gotcha. So, okay. So just to to clarify a little bit, when people hear hypnosis, you know, I'm, I'm used to the image of like a guy with a watch on a chain, you know, dangling it in front of you, telling you you're getting very sleepy.
00:07:35
Speaker
And then I don't know, they tell you to quack like a duck on stage or something like that. Like these, this is like the movie impression that I have. Can you give us a more accurate picture of what the hypnosis that you're talking about looks like?
00:07:50
Speaker
Sure. I'll start off by saying that Hollywood and TV shows do a very bad depiction of hypnosis, although some of the tools that they do for inductions are accurate.
00:08:01
Speaker
But like the movie Get Out, like people think they're going to lose control and mind control, and that person became like a slave or a zombie or stuff like that. um I do it in a therapeutic setting. i get people comfortable in like a reclining chair.
00:08:17
Speaker
And then I just kind of guide them into a relaxed state of mind and being. They're fully aware of everything that's going on. It's just that their conscious mind kind of gets out of the way and it just opens the doorway to their subconscious. And from there, I just kind of give them instructions and, you know, guide them in many different ways to find, you know, what potentially could be blocking them from the thing that they want in life.
00:08:40
Speaker
yeah Gotcha. So how conscious in in a traditional normal sense are people when they're going through one of these, these hypnosis trance states? Yeah. ah Majority of people are completely aware of everything that happens. There's like maybe one out of 15 that go into a very deep, deep, sombalistic state in which I almost have to like call them back out of it because they're just so deep.
00:09:06
Speaker
um But like no work can be done there. like They're just kind of like just in a deep trance. And then i I kind of have to bring them back. um The work... The only way the work can happen is if they know what's going on, right? So it's a conscious-unconscious integration.
00:09:21
Speaker
The important thing to know like why trance is so important, why being in a hypnotic state is important, is because if if you're in an awake state, there is like a gateway between the conscious and unconscious, and you can't access the subconscious easily.
00:09:38
Speaker
If anything, it's like a bouncer at a bar. And... you know When you're getting information, the bouncer is like checking to see if it matches your belief systems already. so like In an awake state, you're just like you're you're you're just making sure everything you already believe is already true.
00:09:57
Speaker
Versus when you're in a trance state, that gate or the bouncer is not there anymore. The gate's open. And then you can easily get in there and make change. In fact, I believe that all change happens in the unconscious mind and that by getting it, you you almost have to be in a trance state to be able to make those changes.
00:10:15
Speaker
um so what So what are we doing then when we're conscious, normal? Are we just simply playing out... In a sense, involuntarily? I mean, do how much does, I guess you could say free will, I know you're talking about willpower earlier, but how much does free will actually come into play when you're in just a normal conscious state?
Spectrum of Consciousness and Free Will
00:10:34
Speaker
How much can we actually, because I would think, well, I can choose to do this or that, but what you're saying suggests that there's a bouncer there telling me, not really, um I'm sort of stuck within a certain limited set. i mean how
00:10:46
Speaker
How much are we kind of fooling ourselves about how much we can control our own behavior? Yeah. Well, for me, what I have found is and That was a really great question. What I found is that we can, we can it's like ah a spectrum.
00:11:02
Speaker
So like we can be more choose to be more conscious or we can choose to be more unconscious. So like we go into trans states all the time. When you're driving, you go into a trans state. Sometimes you miss an exit and you're like, whoa, how did I completely miss the exit?
00:11:18
Speaker
Or you could be doing something in your house and then all of a sudden you end up in like the living room and you're like, why did I come into the living room? Right. So we can choose to be more conscious or be more unconscious. And what I found on my journey is that I had continued to make a lot of mistakes and I kept slipping more and more into an unconscious state.
00:11:39
Speaker
I didn't want to be the captain of my own vessel. I didn't want to make choices. I didn't want to be responsible for my life. And then ultimately, you go into a very automatic state and you're that's like pure survival.
00:11:51
Speaker
So it really is understanding that you get to choose to be conscious. And at any moment of time, no matter what's happening emotionally, you can make a choice to do something else.
00:12:02
Speaker
And that we all have free will. But what I found is that because we don't know how our minds work, that a lot of people go after the things they want in life or they make mistakes and And they feel emotional pain. And then they slip more and more into this unconscious automatic state.
00:12:20
Speaker
And they don't become like the creators of their own reality. They don't become the captains of their own ship. So, yeah, that's how I would answer that. So, so you're you're really limited then in your capacity to...
00:12:33
Speaker
to unleash your full creative potential then at that point. You're really you're really um hamstrung in a way to to live in the in the conscious world the way that you'd like to.
00:12:45
Speaker
so So can you give us a larger context? I mean, is this it you know you said hypnotherapy, but I believe you mentioned in the past, though, that you have a larger process that you go through when you're working with
Integrated Therapeutic Techniques
00:12:55
Speaker
your clients. It's it's not just hypnotherapy sessions that you somebody signs up for an hour and does it. There's there's more structure behind it. Is that right?
00:13:03
Speaker
Yeah, that's correct. So I'll just say that in the past eight years, I've probably invested $100,000 in my own personal development journey. And a lot of those were trainings to learn ah modalities and skill sets to help other people, but primarily myself to start with.
00:13:22
Speaker
So I'm trained in neurolinguistic programming, NLP. I'm a master trainer of NLP. I'm also um not a master trainer. I'm a master practitioner of NLP and a trainer of NLP.
00:13:34
Speaker
um And NLP is like um a whole bunch of tools that help you ah understand behavior and what drives behavior and programming. It's like cognitive behavioral therapy. NLP is kind of very similar, but I feel like and NLP is is more powerful than CBT.
00:13:53
Speaker
So I use a variety of different tools. um and And I kind of take everybody through the same process of of about 15 hours of total work. It usually takes about a month of time.
00:14:05
Speaker
And in that first session, I do like a detailed personal history. And I use and NLP and language patterns to find what's at the root cause of of a problem. Because the surface level problem is never the actual problem.
00:14:16
Speaker
right The behavior will not tell you what's at the core of the problem. And the core of the problem is some emotion and limiting belief that's running in the background because we are just computers and we operate based off of that computer code, which is language.
00:14:33
Speaker
And when you tell yourself, I'm not good enough, or I'm not enough, or I'm not worthy of love, or I'm broken, you know that that becomes your reality. And that becomes the pattern. um And then from there, I teach people how their minds work.
00:14:47
Speaker
And then we start doing the change work with trance. So we integrate parts because everybody has like multiple personalities. And we have to integrate those parts so that people come back into wholeness. Parts will sabotage our ourselves.
00:15:02
Speaker
i'm I'm going to jump in here. Parts. What what do you mean by parts? Parts of what? So we'll call them parts of the psyche, parts of the ego. um So in stressful moments, when we don't feel like we have the resources to handle a situation, our mind will create a part that will have a specific function and will step in to try to protect us.
00:15:25
Speaker
right And oftentimes, these parts are trying to talk us out of things. you know It's like, oh, I want to go after this goal. But then a part will be like, no, you can't. You shouldn't.
00:15:35
Speaker
You're not good enough or whatever. and And even though it sounds like a monster, like like why am I beating myself up or criticizing myself or telling me that I can't do something, that part is really just trying to protect you from any disappointment or failure or pain in the future.
00:15:52
Speaker
So, parts serve a purpose, but the challenge with parts is that they're really supposed to help us when we're young kids, but then the parts still exist as adults. So, you know, there's a variety of different parts works, like ah internal family systems where you talk to the parts,
00:16:11
Speaker
Like that's something that's very common. A lot of therapists will do parts work, but there's a process where you can integrate the parts and the parts can get integrated and you can have integrate all the parts in in one integration.
00:16:23
Speaker
And, you know, there's a great TV show that was like half a season in the nineties. It was called Herman's Head. And this guy would go to this space and ah it would be this apartment where there's four other people living there and he'd have conversations with them.
00:16:40
Speaker
Well, that's what we're doing. We're having conversations with parts of ourselves thinking that it's us, but it's just something that's severed from the psyche that's really just in survival mode and trying to protect us.
00:16:51
Speaker
And it's so necessary to integrate the parts so that we can move forward in life and achieve our goals. Like the analogy of this is your vessel. Think of it as a ship out at sea.
00:17:04
Speaker
If your crew members aren't working towards the captain's orders, then the ship can't get to the destination. So that's why you need the crew members working in order. And that's what parts integration does.
00:17:15
Speaker
Gotcha. And so at the the the final result of a parts integration, you said they they come together. So do they, is it like a jigsaw puzzle where you have one picture, but they still have the pieces? Or do the parts actually kind of dissolve their barriers and distinctions and they really sort of form back into, well, I guess i guess reform into one cohesive whole, which...
00:17:37
Speaker
Which one is it? Because I believe with the, forgot what it's called, but you mentioned it, the part, the family parts, you know, it seems to me that those are voices, you know, this is the the little child inside of me, this is the angry brother, things like that.
00:17:51
Speaker
um From my experience with it, they they seem to persist. It's sort of, you're living with this set of characters inside of you. and and i know I don't mean for that to sound pejorative to the system, but to me, that's what they sound like. There's sort of like this this cast going on inside you. And and it seems like you you simply sort of get used to these various sides of you.
00:18:11
Speaker
With the parts integration that you're doing, does it do the parts remain distinct from each other? Or is there sort of a dissolving and coming back together into into one into one one identity, a couple of larger identities? how Is it more malleable in a way?
00:18:27
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, excellent question. ah I truly believe that the parts can dissolve back into the hole and then the chatter goes away. So for me, everything on my healing journey is integrating more in and what happens is the mind gets quieter and quieter and you're more present in the moment.
00:18:50
Speaker
um So... With internal family systems, you can have conversation with parts for years. But I learned that you can actually integrate parts, and there's a variety of different ways to integrate those parts.
00:19:03
Speaker
and I'm saying that one integration for a client doesn't happen. To to integrate all the parts happens very rarely. i have to do multiple integrations. and Sometimes you know There's protector parts, there's exile parts.
00:19:17
Speaker
um I've had to do a lot of integrations over the years because more seem to surface. And having the tools is really great for that. But around a specific problem, I can work with someone. I can find the parts impacting it.
00:19:31
Speaker
And then the parts use emotions to hold us back. So a part will use anxiety or fear or sadness or or shame or guilt to try to prevent us from moving forward in life.
00:19:42
Speaker
So, you know, just to summarize, you can integrate those parts so that they don't show up anymore and they're they're they're working part of a whole unit and it's just much calmer, much more peaceful and you can just move more efforts effortlessly through life.
00:19:57
Speaker
Wow. um Would you be willing to share more of your personal backstory that led up to this? um um you've You've shared with me a little bit, you know, about that you were coming from some places with some pretty big struggles and, you know, and that you're in a completely different place now. and Would you be willing to share some of ah some of the struggles you've been through personally? Yeah, 100%.
Personal Struggles and Relationship Insights
00:20:19
Speaker
You know, and I know you're a relationship coach. So um I'll say that The defining moment in my life was when I hit 29.
00:20:32
Speaker
i was in a relationship for six years and I completely lost myself in the relationship. And halfway halfway during that relationship, I was resentful and angry at my partner.
00:20:46
Speaker
And ended up going out with my friends. I got drunk and I ended up cheating on her. And the next day I was filled with guilt. And that was the moment where I completely switched to unconscious. Like I didn't want to make any more decisions.
00:21:00
Speaker
I did not like myself. i I learned to hate myself and I couldn't believe I had done that. And that's where I was like, I'm just going to let her make all the decisions in the relationship. And as long as she's happy, that's okay.
00:21:13
Speaker
And then i had an alcohol problem and I just kept slipping deeper and deeper into alcoholism. And then, um five years into the relationship, she had come home one day and she had asked me, ah my family wants to know why you haven't proposed. Right.
00:21:31
Speaker
Um, And they were just worried and concerned about her. And I was in such a dark place that had not even crossed my mind. I was literally just barely surviving life. That's what it felt like.
00:21:44
Speaker
And in that moment, I had lied. But the way that I would lie was I never wanted to tell people bad news. So I would tell them what I thought they wanted to hear.
00:21:55
Speaker
So I had developed a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms. And in that year... ah that following year, I had spiraled back and forth into, ah I can marry her.
00:22:08
Speaker
i don't want to marry her. And then I completely lost my mind. That's what I'm telling you. When you spiral, but and that's a parts conflict. o When you have an internal conflict, that's an indication of parts. So there's parts of me that were going back and forth, spiraling me out. And and I just completely got more and more confused and I just didn't know what to do.
00:22:28
Speaker
And then I had this moment of clarity, I call it. And I was like, yeah, I can marry her and this can work out. And then I ended up proposing and and it all happened very fast and we were engaged.
00:22:41
Speaker
And then i was the one that wanted to do a fast track wedding and and do it that same year, which was like eight months away, which a lot had to happen. So within a matter of weeks, the hall was booked, the band was booked, the like everything, the church, the wedding dress was bought.
00:23:00
Speaker
And that's when like panic started setting in. I started having panic attacks. I couldn't sleep at night. And then I had to put a ah halt to the to the wedding plans. And then a month later, i ended the relationship.
00:23:12
Speaker
But that is when I spiraled into rock bottom. like I was so depressed. I felt so terrible about putting her through this situation and her family.
00:23:25
Speaker
And um like every thought brought physical pain in my body. And that's where I had felt like I was dying. like I felt like my time was about to come to an end.
00:23:37
Speaker
And I didn't know what to do. And I had nothing in my future to look forward to. So I was like in this proverbial hell, you know, like filled with anxiety, depression, crazy thoughts all the time. And and were you still drinking at this point? Was the alcohol also involved?
00:23:54
Speaker
Oh, 100%. Yeah, 100%. yeah one hundred percent And then I just started searching because I felt desperate. And then the the strangest thing saved my life. I reached out to my buddy, Sean, and him and his family would go see this psychic, this well-known psychic. And i was like, I'm desperate. I don't believe in this.
00:24:14
Speaker
I just need something. And those 30 minutes changed my life, you know? And um he made me a believer in those 30 minutes. And then he told me that I would meet my soulmate.
00:24:26
Speaker
And that possibility, that thing in the future, the possibility of love in my future actually created a catalyst. And I decided to make different choices and I started to better myself.
00:24:38
Speaker
And that's when and I started to wake back up. And it's been a long process and a long healing process because it's you know, the thing that confused me the most, I hit bottom at 29, but almost 10 years before I graduated like my high school class, best all around, most likely to succeed, most athletic.
00:24:59
Speaker
So I stumbled on success and I had all this confidence. And then all of a sudden I hit bottom and I want to die, right? Like it just didn't make any sense. um So fast forward, you know, i ended up doing things to improve my life. and And I found a hypnotist to quit smoking. and then a couple years later, when I was ready to quit drinking, right before the age of 31, I saw that same hypnotist and I quit drinking. So that was the the beginning of getting a deeper understanding of hypnosis.
00:25:30
Speaker
And then I did that seminar at 35, um in Boston called the Landmark Forum. and then and then here, I've just been doing so many different things ah when it comes to healing. I've done 33 nights of ayahuasca. Whoa, whoa, hang on, hang on. 33 nights? so Is that like 33 different ayahuasca sessions done? Yeah.
00:25:54
Speaker
Yeah, some of them are like one-night ceremonies, two nights, three nights. I went to Colombia and I traveled the southern region of Colombia and I went to different shamans. um And yeah, i in a lot of it took courage.
00:26:09
Speaker
I mean, like i know I know people, i personally, I've never been on an ayahuasca journey, but I've ive met people that have done one, maybe two. 33 years. um was it would let me Let me just ask, what compelled you? how What was the need that you were feeling inside that that took you to do it that that many times?
00:26:30
Speaker
I've had some miraculous moments on that plant medicine. The very first time I took it, I got physical
Transformative Experiences with Ayahuasca
00:26:40
Speaker
healing. So I felt this feminine energy presence come in my body and I felt my body being healed.
00:26:46
Speaker
And I had a neck injury from weightlifting and I had, ah my neck was completely healed after that. So when you have experiences like that, it really is like, It's like, is this a magic potion to the game of life? you know like Like in The Legend of Zelda or any video game, like that's what it felt like.
00:27:03
Speaker
But I've had a lot of harrowing journeys and I've died on that medicine or thought I've died going into my deepest and darkest fears. um But what really was the smoking gun to how I ended up hitting bottom was like,
00:27:20
Speaker
my fifth ayahuasca ceremony, it opened me up to a repressed memory of a very deep trauma. And that was the missing puzzle piece to all of it. And most of my ayahuasca ceremonies was just clearing out trauma.
00:27:33
Speaker
And I'll explain to you a little bit more of how I see the healing process. So i it opened the door to sexual trauma at a very young age, around like three years old.
00:27:45
Speaker
And um I made decisions in that event. and And one of the things that my abuser said to me was like, if I tell anyone He's going to hurt my sister.
00:27:58
Speaker
So that's when I made a decision that it wasn't safe to share what was going on inside of me. So what happened was, is I started to internalize everything. I started to suppress all my emotions.
00:28:10
Speaker
So from the age of three, I just kept stacking more and more emotions and not resolving them. Because if you if you resolve emotions or if your parents help you resolve emotions, if you're in a negative state,
00:28:22
Speaker
you know you can the program doesn't get created. The program gets dissolved. But for me, I just kept stacking more and more programs. So i mean I've had so many core wounds, so many core but limiting beliefs, and i've just had to it's just taking a long time to unpack all of those.
00:28:39
Speaker
And that's why i had used ayahuasca so much and the other tools of NLP and timeline therapy and parts integration. is that from a very young age, I was trying to escape life.
00:28:51
Speaker
And in that process, I developed a lot of limiting programming. Wow. Yeah. Okay. So you just mentioned, okay, so the ayahuasca was sort of the the the plant medicine, Legend of Zelda potion that sort of helps speed
Reprogramming Through Timeline Therapy
00:29:06
Speaker
up the process. and and um but But then you mentioned, I believe, three other things that you mentioned, NLP, timeline therapy, and parts. So we went over parts.
00:29:15
Speaker
um You touched briefly on NLP, but what is timeline therapy? Yeah. Timeline therapy is a... tool that was created by an NLP trainer.
00:29:28
Speaker
So it's actually very similar to a hyp hypnosis technique called regression hypnosis. So it's really about finding the very first event that a program happens, right?
00:29:42
Speaker
um And timeline therapy is so powerful because You don't have to go into a deep trance. You just need to go into a mild trance. And your unconscious mind can guide you to the very first event where a limiting belief, a negative emotion, a limiting decision first began.
00:30:00
Speaker
and When you clear out the emotions and you install new computer code, the program changes. And every event, the pattern itself, everything event everything connected to it gets released as well.
00:30:15
Speaker
So like people can clear out a whole bunch of stuff from their past. like After I integrate parts, then that's the next step of the process where you clear out the major negative emotions.
00:30:27
Speaker
So you clear out all the anger emotions, all the sadness emotions and hurt, all the fear, all the guilt, all the shame. And when you integrate parts and you let go of those negative emotions, people have a profound shift in their life because you think you have to go to all these little things. But no, like if you group all the anger emotions together and release them in one go,
00:30:46
Speaker
I can help someone clear all their negative emotions in like an hour and a half to two hours. Wow. but that That's amazing. isn that and Is that because the various places and situations in life that we experience the anger or the frustration that they're really not you know hundreds of different situations? They're really hundreds of different ways that we're expressing or playing out one central source of the anger? Is is that sort of what it comes down to?
00:31:13
Speaker
Yeah, a good way to think about it is that all different anger emotions, right? And there's really only five major negative emotions from from the way I see it. So like anger, hatred, resentment, aggression, ah scorn, wrath, anger.
00:31:28
Speaker
loathing. like They're just different forms of the same emotion. um And if you really think about it, those are all the fight emotions. So you're trying to push people away or do something so that you don't get hurt. right So what I find is that each one of these major negative emotions have the same learnings that can clear out all of those similarities in emotion. right So um it it usually doesn't take a lot of learnings to let go of these things.
00:31:58
Speaker
Um, so yeah. How, how, how exhausting, how, um, how difficult is it to go through one of these sessions and have, you know, all the anger, for example, you know,
00:32:11
Speaker
you know, brought together and then released? I mean, are you, are you on the floor crying and shaking, you know, in the fetal position? I mean, like how, how, you because if if we're releasing, you know, stuff that happened way back in childhood, and then there's this whole domino effect, you know, they that plays out that releases it. I mean, how, how exhausting of a day is that for the, for the person going through it it It really varies. It depends on the person.
00:32:36
Speaker
um For some people, they can be pretty tired afterwards, but others, it's just like very easy. and they're just i think the important thing is like when people realize that they don't need their negative emotions to protect themselves,
00:32:50
Speaker
Yeah. um Yeah. and And some people, it just clicks. And other people, it's like pulling teeth a little bit. It's like, oh they're holding on to the emotions or they they don't know how to step in. But I find that it depends where you are on that spectrum of conscious and unconscious. So if you're more in that unconscious survival mode, it takes more work to get people to to let go because it really is about taking responsibility.
00:33:15
Speaker
And for me, the biggest challenge is that I had avoided so much responsibility in my life that I became so afraid of my negative emotions. And that's really how it goes handin hand in hand.
00:33:28
Speaker
The more you know you don't want to feel pain, the more you don't want to be responsible for things. So that's what really came down to It comes down to responsibility. And um I think that's the important thing is like people that are already living a very fairly responsible life, it's much easier to let go of these things. But if you're in complete survival mode, this process probably will take more than 15 hours. It It'll rough you up a bit in the process of shifting it around.
00:33:55
Speaker
so um So you you mentioned there's somebody that believes they need their anger, you know that they need some of these hostile emotions, that they're keeping them safe and all of that. So so let's say you go through the process and somebody can let go of them.
00:34:08
Speaker
What replaces... that feeling? what you know if if i If I thought I needed my anger in order to keep me safe, to keep people at a distance, and then we've, you like you said, updated the code and i've and we've changed the programming, what's in place of it then? Is it and is it blank slate? is there what what what What is somebody using in place of that you know that thing that kept them safe?
00:34:32
Speaker
That's so great. I mean, you keep asking the best questions. um It really is a great question because What we think is that those negative emotions are really protecting us, but they're protecting us in a very unhealthy way because they're the fight, flight, freeze emotions, right? And then the others are the self-loathing and pride emotions, right?
00:34:52
Speaker
When you're in a fight flight fight, flight, freeze response, you're not in your best thinking mind, right? like Like ah nutrients in the blood goes to the muscles and the lungs and the heart, and they move away from the brain.
00:35:08
Speaker
So in fact, it's not the best way to handle a situation. So they actually don't do a very good job of protecting you. They actually create more karma. I'll call it karma, but more programming and more emotions because If you use that anger and you hurt someone, then you're actually hurting yourself because what goes around comes around, what you give, you receive.
00:35:31
Speaker
So those emotions actually impact you on a greater level, right? And the more guilt and shame you you you build up, from my experience, that's where the deeper addictions come in, right? Alcoholism, substances, food, that kind of stuff. It's it's really connected to guilt and shame.
00:35:48
Speaker
um So on the flip side, we live in a dualistic world, right? There's opposites to everything. So what's the opposite of negative emotions? Positive, right? And that's the positive states.
00:35:59
Speaker
So the thing is, is we have resources. They're internal resources and everybody has them and we're here to develop and grow. Like just like the video game analogy, We're here to build those resources.
00:36:11
Speaker
And those resources are very simple. It's like strength, power, trust, surrender, faith, love, compassion, forgiveness.
00:36:23
Speaker
And the more that we use those resources, then we can handle situations. right So if you handle situations in a very powerful, resourceful state, you are going to be able to protect yourself.
00:36:36
Speaker
right um so that so you're So you're replacing anger and hostility with a sense of genuine power, a sense of um genuine love, a sense of genuine acceptance. Those those are actually the experience those are those are the experiences that replace the feeling of anger and hostility?
00:36:57
Speaker
Correct. Wow, that's like a 180. It sounds like it's not just like removing the problem. It's actually taking you to the place that we'd all like to be you know all of the time. Yeah. And the thing that most people don't realize is, like I said, in stressful moments when we're kids, we don't know we have those resources.
00:37:16
Speaker
Safety is a big one. Safety is not an external thing, right? Yeah. I would actually even say we don't have them when we're kids because we're too little. We're too vulnerable. We don't have strength and power.
00:37:28
Speaker
We don't have autonomy. We are dependent still on on our parents. where we We don't have the capacity yet to do that. We're way too vulnerable. I think to actually develop that sense of, oh, well, I can love because I've provided for myself and I have surplus to go around. like As you're a kid, you don't.
00:37:46
Speaker
you know if If your parents stop hunting and you know providing shelter for you and whatever, like you're dead. You're you know you're dead you know in the water or out on the field somewhere, you're dead. I don't think when we're children, we we actually have the capacity yet to to have some of that positive...
00:38:03
Speaker
you know um ah the the positive programming in place where we're simply too vulnerable. is Do you agree with that or or do you? I agree with part of it, right? Like we are so dependent on our family, but like, that's why, like all those emotions are are around um not getting kicked out of your tribe and your, your parents are the most important tribe members, right? So, you know, we had talked about that before. So like we, we keep ourselves safe with those emotions and we create defense mechanisms so that we're accepted. It's all comes to acceptance. That's what the ego and the emotions are trying to do is trying to
00:38:40
Speaker
create create more and more acceptance. The part that I will say is that we do have those resources, the internal resources. we just As kids, we don't know we have them and we don't know how to find them. and That's where when you have very healthy communicative parents, they can help you through those situations. so When you are experiencing a negative emotion, a parent can teach you that you're safe. The parent can teach you confidence and belief in yourself.
00:39:04
Speaker
And that's the challenge. But most of us don't have that. And in fact, we're living just in cycles of of generational trauma where most a lot of adults that are out in the world, they respond reactionally with emotions.
00:39:18
Speaker
So as they still haven't learned that they can use their internal resources instead of the negative emotions. And you can see that with the political dynamics of the world. Right. and And then they're, of course, you know um raising their children in the way that they were raised.
00:39:33
Speaker
you know They haven't come to that awareness, so it's they're not really passing on better habits for the most part than than the ones they were given. Yeah. um I want to ask specifically about um pornography.
Overcoming Addictions and Envisioning a Better Future
00:39:44
Speaker
So that's something that a lot of the men that, you know, pretty much all men, you know, in American society have touched on and have dealt with one way or another. And a lot of guys struggle quite deeply with it. um I'm going to assume that that the the NLP and the the timeline therapy and the hypnotherapy that you're doing, I'm going to assume that that pornography also falls into that falls into that field of things that can be worked on. Can you tell us a little more about that?
00:40:10
Speaker
Yeah, definitely. So, you know, I had shared with you before that I had a porn addiction for many years and, um, and it was, it was some very weird porn too, you know? And, and in fact, it was porn that was connected to my earlier sexual trauma.
00:40:25
Speaker
So it was weird because I would watch it and then I would feel ashamed afterwards, you know? Um, so
00:40:34
Speaker
Eventually, what I had discovered through doing this work and and every habit that I've given up is connected to emotions. So ultimately, it really comes down to the emotions from the past. And when I walk people through the process of integrating parts and letting go of negative emotions, a lot of these habits just fall off, right? Because it is driven by energetics. And, you know, a lot of the times those cravings and those desires are trying to fill a void.
00:41:06
Speaker
And that void is is really connected to those limiting beliefs and decisions and those those core wounds of like not feeling lovable or or not feeling worthy or not feeling enough. you know And that that craving kind of is trying to fill a need that's not being met in some ways. So, it actually can be very simple to let go of those porn addictions and also understanding how those things hurt you and impact you. you know like you know What I realized after giving up my porn addiction, and I you know like ah pretty much have given up masturbation you know except every once in a while, like my confidence, my motivation, like when I do masturbate, like my motivation drops to the like completely drops.
00:41:55
Speaker
So like if you understand how it's hurting you so much more than helping you, I feel like there's that trade-off. you know And most people need to go through that process of realizing, oh, I did not know how much this was impacting me in a negative way.
00:42:09
Speaker
And that really helps people to choose to to give it up. But giving up habits is very easy. You can you can quit by making one decision. Yeah. Quit by making one decision. How, I mean, that, that sounds like the people, what people would love to do that have bad habits or addiction. So tell us, um, you know, in a little bit of time that we have left, tell us how one decision can, can be the turning point for giving up bad habits.
00:42:34
Speaker
Sure. Yeah. Well, I'll tell you from my personal experience, it took me a year to finally come to the place to quit drinking. And in that process, I was doing thought experiments and learning about the impacts of alcohol and how poisonous it is. And if I continue doing this, where would I be at 35 and 40 and 45 and 50? Now, not sure we've clarified this, but we're talking about social drinking here are we talking about like alcoholism?
00:43:05
Speaker
Yeah, I would say it's alcoholism. So, I mean, I wouldn't drink during the day. It'd be like I'd get home and probably four to five times a week, um I would get blackout drunk.
00:43:16
Speaker
yeah Okay. All right. we're talking heavy drinking here. Okay. Heavy drinking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then it was really hard because I had developed this strong habit. I had built this emotional connection to it. I felt like it was my friend and i had severe shame and social anxiety. So I didn't know how to survive life without it, especially in social situations. Okay.
00:43:39
Speaker
you know Because I would completely clam up and freeze up and feel so uncomfortable around other people. So um I didn't know how I could live without it. But eventually, and and on top of that, I had gone to, I had dropped out of college and I went to rehab because I a drinking problem in in college.
00:43:57
Speaker
And I relapsed. And I knew that I had to do something different. And that's where I was like, I want to quit drinking for the rest of my life. I just didn't know how to make that decision.
00:44:09
Speaker
And so I kind of went through that process of cost versus gain. And eventually, one thing that really tipped it over the edge is somebody posted on Reddit Like, who's the last person you'd want to see on your deathbed?
00:44:24
Speaker
And someone posted, i would hate to see the version of myself that met its potential. And that right there was just like, yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:44:35
Speaker
And so that's probably the most intimidating person we could ever meet is the version of us at any stage of our life. yeah Oh, here's Dallas, you know, at age 45. He did all the things he could have been doing, you know, all along the way, like who, nobody ever wants to meet that person.
00:44:53
Speaker
Yeah. And what, and and so what did that, what did that shift inside of you? What what did that wake up? and So it created a bigger fear, okay ah a bigger fear of going through my entire life and regretting my entire life.
00:45:09
Speaker
that that would That fear was bigger than the fear of social anxiety, the fear of emotional pain. And when I was ready, I was 100% committed to quitting drinking for the rest of my life.
00:45:25
Speaker
And that was the decision I made. And then I did one hypnosis session, which helped reprogram the mind and made that decision easier. And i never have touched a drink since, you know? Absolutely. So let me let me see if I got this right. So when you imagined looking at yourself, you experienced a deeper, higher degree of fear than all of the situations where you imagined interacting with other people, social anxiety and things like that.
00:45:51
Speaker
um So it was actually seeing yourself that That was actually the catalyst um that that actually had the most leverage. It wasn't really the external factors. It was, and I'm going to guess that's also the one place that maybe you didn't look the most um up until that point. that That was what you needed to actually make the life-changing choice.
00:46:12
Speaker
Yeah, because most people who are dealing with these habits, they're not connected to the consequences. like That's why everybody who smokes cigarettes and all the carcogens, they're not thinking about the cancer that's going to happen 20 to 30 years later, even though they know about it.
00:46:31
Speaker
you know And I know a lot of hypnotists that go through this process of, in trance, seeing the version of themselves if they continue smoking down this timeline, what their life's going to be.
00:46:42
Speaker
Oh, you're not goingnna you're not going to be at your children's wedding, right? How about that? Or or your grand you're not going to see your grandchildren get born. and And that often is enough catalysts is, you know, like people who have kids, they'll quit smoking cold turkey like that because there's something more important.
00:47:03
Speaker
There's something more important in all of it. Yeah, we become we become aware. We see the trade-offs we're making on our decisions in a whole new light and a whole new perspective. Yeah. yeah It's amazing.
00:47:14
Speaker
Well, thank you very much, Phoenix, for coming on. If people want to um know more about what you're doing and potentially work with you, how can they how can they get in touch with you? Yeah, very simply, you can just search on Google, The Mind Guy in Denver.
00:47:29
Speaker
ah My website is themindguy.net, and you can set up a free consultation. And we can chat for like 15 minutes and and see if if it's a good fit to work together.
00:47:40
Speaker
um so that'd be the simplest way. And thank you for allowing me to share that. Absolutely. And you know you've you've thrown out a lot of ideas that are... non-conventional, I'd say, different approaches to take.
00:47:52
Speaker
And I imagine that are a lot of guys that are listening and watching this episode thinking, I don't know about this. This sounds a little out there. This sounds a little crazy. What would you say to the guys that are doubting the validity of of what you do and what you've experienced?
00:48:07
Speaker
t I think for me is is just my story, you know? And like, I think I think the greatest challenge is that most people don't realize how much I've suffered in my life. And and I think especially men ah suffer because of one decision of like, it's not okay to feel or express emotions.
00:48:30
Speaker
So men are notorious suppressors. so And that is the source for me of of all problems. So if if If someone is doing that consistently, then they're that's where a lot of their programming and that's what what's getting in the way.
00:48:45
Speaker
um So, I mean, all I can do is just share authentically and just share what I've overcome. And it might resonate with some people, it might not. but For me, the only reason I did 33 nights of ayahuasca was out of desperation. So a lot of people that find me have been stuck in these patterns or habits for decades, not really knowing how to change. And a lot of them have tried a lot of things, but just you know spinning their wheels just not knowing. And I feel like I made it my mission to find a way.
00:49:15
Speaker
And I just continued finding the next thing and the next thing and the next thing. And now I can help people go through this process in a much shorter period of time than I had to do for myself. That's awesome. That's amazing.
00:49:26
Speaker
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us, telling us about the story and everything you've been on. And again, thank you for coming on the show. Yeah. Thanks for having me, Dallas. Appreciate it. Thanks. Bye, Phoenix.