Transcript
Speaker: actually better than anything I could have ever anticipated. if you've ever considered becoming a surrogate, you've probably asked yourself, will I get attached to the baby? What if I don't connect with the intended parents?
Speaker: What if something goes wrong? Jordan spent more than a decade thinking about surrogacy before finally taking the leap. Today, she's sharing what it's really like to be a surrogate, from matching with intended parents and navigating pregnancy, to delivery, life after birth, and even an unexpected medical challenge.
Speaker: This is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. And I'm like, every time, 10 out of 10, just do it. Today, Jordan shares the lessons she's learned, the relationship she's built, and why she says she can't wait to do it again.
Speaker: Enjoy. I just want to start with how did surrogacy even get on your radar? I mean, honestly, I've been thinking about surrogacy since I was 18. I looked into that when I was 18 and I hadn't had kids yet. And I was like, oh man, the only requirement is like at that time is that you had to have kids.
Speaker: So I was like, oh, well, I guess this will be something I have to look into in the future. And then. That is so funny. Did you even like, how did you hear about surrogacy at 18? Was it like People Magazine and like that kind of thing?
Speaker: Um, actually my mom had looked into it. Like it was, she was having a conversation with one of her friends about being a surrogate, like way back when, and, uh, she had looked into it herself.
Speaker: And so I kind of heard about it on and off here and there. And I was like, you know, That sounds awesome. Like at the time I didn't think I would ever have kids. So it was like, I'd love to be able to to do that for somebody else, even if I don't ever have kids. sharp Sure. Sure.
Speaker: So, yeah. So I started looking into it then and i was like, man, okay, well, I guess if I ever had kids and this will be something that I can look into then. Yeah. And, you know, it's kind of come up on and off throughout the years. And like every time my husband and I had looked into it, something something would happen like with our family where I wouldn't be able to do it then. so it would just get pushed back a little bit. And so finally, for my 30th birthday, I told my husband, I was like, look, this is something I wanted to do for years. So if it's OK with you, this is something I want to prioritize. And like he was absolutely on board.
Speaker: So that's amazing. What a great 30th birthday gift to yourself. but Yeah. Yeah. And I thought, i thought for sure that he was going to like give some kind of pushback or, you know, but no, he was, he was completely on board. He's like, if it's something you want to do and you're this passionate about it, I'm surprised you didn't tell me earlier that we really needed to push it. So.
Speaker: I love it. Such great support. That's amazing. thing okay So you went from just, I mean, you know, decades to, you know, plus of wanting to do this to now all of a sudden it's green light.
Speaker: How did you get started on just even knowing where to begin? Well, we actually had a family friend who was working with your agency and she recommended you guys.
Speaker: And it was like, y'all were doing one of the the giveaways on Instagram and she tagged me and my sister-in-law. And I was like, that's perfect. I'll just go ahead and do it. Why not? So I looked into it a little bit more and then I got in contact with Barrett and I was like, wow, like this feels this feels like the right place.
Speaker: Oh my gosh. I love it. When you say it feels like the right place, what does that mean for you?
Speaker: Um, it just, I've spoken to some other agencies in the past and there was just like, just something about the the conversation. it It had like a bit of a red flag in the back of my mind. I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but I was like, this doesn't seem like the right place.
Speaker: And when I spoke to Barrett, it just, everything fell into place. It just felt right. I don't really know how to describe it. That's kind of how I've been describing my entire journey, like the whole way around is it just felt right. Like everything fell into place and this is what it needed to be.
Speaker: oh I love that. so for your friend who had like tagged you what was it like kind of having someone so close that was already experiencing surrogacy firsthand? Yeah.
Speaker: It was actually pretty cool. and She was able to give some pointers here and there and, you know, kind of it was just kind of cool to have someone to talk to about it. And she was going through her own journey at the time. And so, you know, was, it was just neat.
Speaker: It was neat. Yeah. Well, it's nice to kind of have somebody that, you know, be that person that can kind of guide you in at least in terms of maybe like some nuances, um you know, with their own journey and as opposed to like just relying on the internet.
Speaker: ah I know because you can go down the Google rabbit hole of everything can go wrong all the time. So you never know what to believe. Yeah, for sure So before the journey even began, i mean, I know obviously speaking with Barrett and Meg and just the you know education team, you were educated on all of the risks and things like that. But looking back, were there parts of the process that felt easier or smoother than you expected?
Speaker: Literally everything, like everything. I have looked up all of the the risks and, you know, the likelihoods of of embryo transfer working the first time or the second time or all the things. And so I, my husband and I do this thing where we prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.
Speaker: And so, yeah. So in my head, I was like, okay, and this isn't going to work. It's not gonna go smoothly. We're going to have hiccups. We're going to run into every possible roadblock. And then we didn't.
Speaker: And my journey was like textbook smooth, everything that they said that we want this, this, and this to happen, it all happened exactly the way it was supposed to. So the entire thing was absolutely smooth. I could not have asked for a better first time, you know, surrogacy journey.
Speaker: Oh, I love that. I love that. I know you you said it was a textbook journey. I know you said everything just felt right. What made that match feel so special from the beginning?
Speaker: That one is also hard to explain. saw them before I had even been open for the matching process. I saw them on the Facebook page. Yeah, they were one of our hopeful hearing stories. Yes. Yes. And I was like, oh my gosh, I love everything about them. Just something about them. It, it feels like these are the people I'm supposed to do this with, but I was like, ah, there's no way that they're still going to available whenever I'm like through the process.
Speaker: And then when I got the, the matches, they were the first profile that was on there. That's amazing. Yes. Yes. So they were my number one pick.
Speaker: And I had even talked to Alana about it. Cause there was, there's, um, some details in their, in their like, uh, matching profile where I was, I was like, oh man, I'm, I'm not a proven surrogate. So I don't know, like, is it selfish of me to choose them? Like, what it, what if it doesn't work? What if this is their only chance and I'm the failure, you know?
Speaker: But, um, Alana was able to talk me through that. And she's like, you know, Everybody understands the risks. It's not going to be your fault. If something happens, this is your journey. And, you know, it's up to you to decide if, if it's something you want to take on. And, you know, obviously the parents will have their say in it as well, but you know, it was, it was a big relief to be able to talk to someone about that and, you know, be reassured.
Speaker: And then the parents said the same thing in our matching interview, they said the same thing. They were like, we are, we are, oop sorry. Um, They were like, we fully understand the risks and we understand, you know, it's, it's all in God's hands. And if it's meant to be, then it'll be. And if not, then, you know, we're just grateful to be part of this journey.
Speaker: So I love that. Well, and I love that you, again, you had that sounding board with our team and as well. And then so obviously did your intended parents. And I love that just from the get-go, you guys were just all on the same page with everything.
Speaker: Yes, we were. Yep. Across the board, we were all on the same page. Oh, I love that. i know your intended parents live pretty close to you, which i know that created, I'm sure, a just fun dynamic. What was it like building that relationship just throughout the beginning parts of the journey before transfer and then obviously post-transfer through the pregnancy? Yeah.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, it was awesome. The intended mom and I got very close very quickly. We talked every day. We talked all day long. We talked about all the excitement and the possibilities and, you know ah you know, how to be prepared if if it didn't work the way we were hoping for. But we were all so positive the whole time.
Speaker: Like, you know, it was it was incredible. Everyone was super positive. We were all like rooting for each other throughout the whole process. And, you know, was it it all ended up working out really well. It was, you know, she and I still talk pretty regularly and obviously they're super busy with baby now. So we don't, it's not all day, every day back and forth, but yeah, it was, it was amazing to get to to know them and like their family now for my husband and I. So we're counting down until we get to see them again. what do you think helped create such a strong connection and communication style between all of you?
Speaker: nobody felt like we couldn't say what we needed to say. it was really good. Yeah. Yeah. That was a big one when we started it is everybody agreed that we all wanted to be as open as possible. And, you know, they wanted to respect my privacy. I wanted to respect their privacy, but I also wanted them to feel like they were a part of every single detail in the journey because it's their baby. their first baby. You know, i I wanted them to have all the same experiences that I had with my son. And, you know, obviously it's,
Speaker: a little bit different, you know, cause sure they didn't have the baby in their possession at the time. So I wanted them to feel as close to the baby and like, let them know that I was taking as good a care that their child is, as they would, you know, what were ways that you were kind of making them part of the process, but from a, from, you know, afar, especially like going up to, you know, as you guys were kind of counting down to transfer day.
Speaker: Well, ah we were, and we would, you know, keeping everybody up to date on, on appointments and they would show up to every appointment. And, you know, when we started the medication, everything, the mom was like, Oh my gosh, how are you feeling? What are your symptoms? You know, is there anything we could do? you know? ah Yeah. Everything was, yeah, it was, it was awesome. They just, they were super supportive of everything. And like, you know, we, ah the, the,
Speaker: PIO shots were not my favorite. Obviously I have a huge fear of needles. So when medicine started, we were all like, oh gosh, this is, this is the scariest part of the whole thing.
Speaker: I love it. She wants to be a surrogate, but we're afraid of needles. This is great. Yep. Yep. That was, that was always a thing for me. We did. Yes. I, you'd think that after all of the needles that were involved with the blood tests and the shots and all the the medications that I would be over that fear. I'm not, I'm still not over that fear.
Speaker: You just like work your way up. You're like, I know I can do it. I've done it before. I just, yeah. Yep. I can't look at the needle. I will be good. Just don't look at it. There you go. Perfect. Perfect. They were, they were very supportive.
Speaker: You know, the, the mom would text me every day. Like you got this, you got, you're so strong. We're so proud you. Oh, I love that. That is so sweet. Oh my gosh. How was transfer day? Because I know guys were already having conversations about it's okay if things don't work out. And I mean, again, you were kind of preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. How was just kind of your nerves and anticipation as you were working your way up to transfer day? Yeah.
Speaker: Um, well, I mean, obviously very nervous. I was super excited, super excited because like, this is, it was what we've been waiting for. The parents were excited. We were excited. My husband went with me on transfer day and You know, we we had our process where like, we're going to go get French fries. We're going to, you know, wear the fuzzy socks. We're going to do all the things. and We're going to laugh because the the mom was sending me videos of like, oh yeah, to, you know, to have a successful transfer, you know, ah it's the the happy hormones and you got to make the environment really happy for baby. And so we were sitting there watching ah like funny cat videos and laughing and just, we were having a great time. Yeah.
Speaker: I love it. It's a party. use It was. it was. We stood outside the transfer clinic after the transfer for, i think, like an hour and a half, just talking and laughing and chatting. And yeah, it was it was a lot of fun. um i was I was nervous leading up to it. we did the transfer and then we were all like, okay, now it's just a waiting game.
Speaker: So let's just keep each other updated on the symptoms. We'll see if we notice anything. yeah, Everybody's got their fingers crossed. Yes. Oh my gosh. Okay. So what was it like? Did you take a home pregnancy test or did you wait for the blood test?
Speaker: Oh, no, I took the pregnancy test. I got the like the ultra sensitive ones that ah detected super early. And sure, I was I was doing all the Google like, ah how early do you take it? You know, when will it show? Because I didn't I didn't want to test too early and then be discouraged. And my husband said the same thing. He said, I think you should wait for the blood test.
Speaker: because you don't want to be discouraged and now you don't have the happy hormones and then you inadvertently make something happen because you know you weren't you weren't positive about it. He said, I don't want you to put that negativity out there and like feed on it.
Speaker: Okay. Yeah. So that was, that was his point of view. But then the mom and I were talking and we were like, well, we want to know, we want to know as soon as possible. And she's like, it's up to you. You can test if you want to, you don't have to, but you know, we'll, we'll be supportive no matter what.
Speaker: And so we did the ultra sensitive tests and the little lion showed up and I just cried. Aww.
Speaker: It was very emotional. Oh my gosh, for sure. or Did you send a picture to mom or did you call? i did. I did. I sent a picture and I sent her pictures. We tested every day after that as well. I love it. Just to see if the line was getting darker. i And she was, you know, she was running the pictures through chat DPT of like, are the lines getting darker? Is it getting lighter?
Speaker: So after I think, four days of testing with the super sensitive test. I went and just got just a regular, regular pregnancy test. Sure.
Speaker: Yeah. And immediately after taking that one, it was the darkest solid line I've ever seen in my life. That's hilarious. Baby was stuck. Like it was happening.
Speaker: Very much so. And we were talking about symptoms and everything after the transfer. And like the day after the transfer, it felt like there was so much pressure on my bladder And it was like, okay, something's happening here. Like I i have this solid gut feeling that this baby is is in there and that he took and all the things. Like I had i had all the faith in the world that it was gonna work and it did.
Speaker: Oh, I love that. That's amazing. Okay. Tell us about, cause obviously, okay. We're like looking at all of the lines. We finally get our numbers back. Things are obviously trending upwards. How was that like heartbeat confirmation day?
Speaker: Oh my gosh. That was awesome. and We had both parents there. They, you know, they were so nervous. They wanted to be, they wanted to be positive about it, but they were super nervous. They were standing in the standing in the room right behind me. And ah they were like, we were scanning that ultrasound so hard just to see that flicker. We didn't know what we were looking for, but we were looking for it.
Speaker: And I didn't realize I had my breath held until the doctor said, there it is. Yeah. Yes. I was so nervous because I was like, everything's going so great.
Speaker: this this can't possibly be this smooth for us. Like that i was I was so prepared, um you know, like I said, prepared for the worst, hope for the best. I was so prepared for the worst that,
Speaker: Like every time the boxes were checked and everything was perfect, it was like, oh, oh such a relief. I just can't, I can't even believe it. yeah ah Yeah. How was that? I mean, obviously you guys were just full of positivity and, you know, just happiness galore. And we're thinking about all those happy hormones, but As a surrogate in that position of you know, kind of holding your own hope, but then also holding, you know, your intended parents hope as well and kind of being conscientious of that. How did you balance all of that?
Speaker: i mean, for the most part, I tried to get all of the information I could and and be able to be as straightforward as I could about everything.
Speaker: Um, like every, every, uh, lab test, every ultrasound, all of the things I was extremely straightforward with everything. there is kind And I wanted to make sure.
Speaker: yep Yep. I wanted to make sure that they had all of the right information and that there weren't any questions left unanswered. And like, you know, if we went to the doctor and And they gave me all the results and then they were like, oh, what about this? Then I would go back and immediately ask the doctor, okay, what I need the answer to this question. And then I'd go back to the parents.
Speaker: So I, I wanted to be as upfront with them. I, you know, i didn't want to keep anything from them because I didn't want to break their trust and make them think that, you know, oh, well, she's keeping things from us. So how can we trust, trust what she actually says?
Speaker: So um, It was all about transparency. I just, you know, we had really good communication the whole time. And that's that's what we thrived on is transparency. And, you know, I i let the the parents know like, hey, I'm really nervous about this. And they were like, we're nervous about this too, but we got it.
Speaker: love that Nothing to be nervous about. And, you know, we just, we were strong for each other. Yeah. I love, I mean, it sounds like it was just such a great,
Speaker: team and i love that this idea of just full upfront like you said transparency and clarity and here are the facts and you know okay you have questions let's find those out together and you know just all of those things i mean it is it can be such a gift to just have the knowledge and then work through it your own. And it sounds like it was just such a great team. I know between obviously you were seeking answers and then i know, you know, your coordinator, Alana is there to like, okay, and here's the next steps. And like, at no point in time, it sounded like anybody was in the dark. Yeah.
Speaker: Nope. We were all very well informed and you know, the, um, you guys lay everything out so perfectly and, and like what to expect and what the steps are and where we are in the process. And so we would, you know, we would go back to those and say, okay, we're here. This is what to expect next. And then, you know, our, uh, coordinator was amazing with making sure we had all the information we needed. So, you know, we would,
Speaker: have our meetings with her. She'd give us all the information. And then throughout each step, it was like exactly what she told us to expect. I love it. And it's so great to have somebody like that. So you're not like Googling, wait, what happens next? And like, you just already have it.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. And I've seen so many stories of, you know, people who have tried to do surrogacy without an agency. And after going through this process, I'm like, how, how could they have done that?
Speaker: and There's no way it's, there's just so much to take in. And there's so much that you need to know that you don't know that you need to know. And so to have an agency that's able to like lay it out for you and, and basically tell you exactly what to expect. was amazing. it it you know There was so much transparency for me and my husband and for my IPs and everything. like it was It made the process so much smoother. And my husband said the same thing. He's like, we could not have done this without an agency.
Speaker: I mean, i agree with you. And, you know, speak like as a as a surrogate, I was like, I don't know how anybody could do this on their own just because there are so many things and you guys had a smooth textbook journey. So then throw like a hiccup and all of a sudden we're just totally in no man's land with knowing what to do if you don't have somebody there to support you.
Speaker: Exactly, exactly. i couldn't have i couldn't have possibly done that. No, I totally hear you. And I mean, it does help that like just our coordinator, absolutely just amazing and they know what they're doing. And I mean, they're the experts in the field. I mean, it's just, it's wonderful to have that guide always. And to just have that team. Was there a moment during the journey when everything just became very real and you thought this is exactly why I wanted to do this?
Speaker: Yes, actually. So Starting at, I think around 14 weeks, I started feeling like the little flutters. And like with my son, i felt his first flutters at 16 weeks.
Speaker: Okay. Like that was my first baby. And so I kind of knew what to look for at the time. And so I was sitting there working and I felt little flutters and I was like, that's that's baby. Like I recognize those flutters, that's baby.
Speaker: And so that's that's when it became real. That's when it wasn't like a, cause before that I kind of had like some anxiety in between ultrasounds, like, okay, well, you know, everything's perfect. Everything's going good.
Speaker: What if this is where we find out it's not? You know, what if, what if this is the moment where it's not going as perfect as we thought it was? um And so it was like, okay, you know, we have the ultrasound, everything's perfect, you know, huge relief.
Speaker: And then it would be maybe four or five days out from the next ultrasound and back to the anxiety of, okay, what if it's not going as perfect? You know, what if this is when we find out that it's, that something's wrong.
Speaker: And, you know, so when I was finally able to feel the flutters, that's when I was like, this is it. Like I, now I'm able to feel and you know, I know everything's okay.
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, I love that. It really is. It's the best feeling in the whole world. Yes. And my anxiety, it dropped to like zero by that point, because then I was able to feel him every day. And like, as he got a little bit bigger, I was able to feel more and more. And so then I was like, okay, I know he's good. i can feel him moving. He's good. You know, even, even in those like early days, I knew if I just laid on my side a certain way or like, you know, lean back, I could, you know, I could feel him more and more. So yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, that was it was a huge relief when that happened. So obviously the the pregnancy just was smooth and everything was so great.
Speaker: And then, i mean- and everything worked out, but all of a sudden your intended parents are suddenly, you know, navigating some unexpected medical challenges post delivery.
Speaker: What has that, what was that initially like supporting and staying connected to them during that time kind of post delivery?
Speaker: Um, honestly, it was heartbreaking because, you know, Here we go again. I've been so emotional since baby was born. um To be expected. yeah Yeah. um I mean, it was heartbreaking at first when they told me the news. i immediately started blaming myself. i you know, Google rabbit hole yet again.
Speaker: I started Googling everything of like, what did I do wrong? You know, what could I have done differently? What, you know, how is this my fault is basically how I, how I went about it. And i was,
Speaker: I was so sad for them.
Speaker: Sorry. No, you're good.
Speaker: Because I wanted it to be perfect, you know? Yeah. So, um, well, that's a lot. And I feel like that's such a that's such a classic trait. I think of every surrogate to be, you know, like, okay,
Speaker: this something happened what to immediately just start taking blame what did i do wrong what could i have done differently you know all of those things and there's nothing like there's nothing yeah he was such a beautiful baby like when they brought him in to meet me for the first time he was so tiny and so beautiful and i was so happy for them yeah and you know, so I wanted to be there for them afterwards, you know, when everything happened.
Speaker: Um, but I also wanted to give them the space to be able to navigate it themselves, you know, without feeling like they have to, um, split their time between me and the baby. So, you know, I would, I would keep up with them over texts and, you know, a couple of phone calls as, you know, as they were trying to figure things out.
Speaker: But, um, You know, i I just didn't want to, I wanted to still be there for them and let them know that, you know, I was there to support them. And my husband was there to support them as well. And if they needed anything, they could let us know.
Speaker: But I also wanted to not be pushy and not be like, okay, give me the information. I need to know now, like you have to tell, you know, so I was just, it was hard for me because I was trying to be patient and wait for them to give me the updates.
Speaker: And, and they did, they gave me the updates as soon as they had them. And, you know, they, they would keep me in the loop just to make sure that, you know, we all understood what was happening. um They were just, they were so happy to have him that it I don't, I don't think they blamed me at all. Like I was blaming myself and I was,
Speaker: ah hoping and praying that they weren't blaming me as well. It's this combination of you're struggling with your own blame for yourself. Then you're also like, you know, afraid. How is our really, our relationship has been going so well. Is this all of a sudden going to change? There's so, there's so many layers to it. It's a lot to on.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah, it really was. it really was. And they were keeping me updated and they still keep me updated. um Baby has surgery today. so hoping and praying everything goes amazing for him. Like we, you know, we've still been in contact. And like I said, not quite as much as as during the journey because they have so much going on, so much.
Speaker: But, you know, they're so happy. They could not be more thankful that they have him. And, and you know, even with, um you know, medical issues that came up, like they they're so grateful that they have him.
Speaker: And it it's like it didn't, it's like it doesn't even, doesn't affect them at all. They're just... He's their entire world. Well, I love, i love that.
Speaker: Obviously, of course, the communication, you know, aspect of things has changed as of course it would, you know, post delivery, whether baby has medical complications or not, right? Like it's a newborn. um But again i love that.
Speaker: this journey didn't end on delivery day. It has continued because you guys have built a relationship together. Yes. Yes.
Speaker: Yeah. That was something that we had agreed on at the very beginning was that we wanted to continue a relationship afterwards. And, and we didn't quite know what to expect or what that relationship was going to be afterwards. We all understood that, you know, communication was going to,
Speaker: slow down a bit after baby because it's a huge life change for everybody. So, you know, that that's been perfectly acceptable. And, and matter of fact, I'm actually very glad that we still have as much communication as we do. i was expecting it to be way less.
Speaker: We had all agreed from the very beginning that we wanted to continue the communication afterwards and, and, you know, leave the door open for another journey. If, if it was in the cards for us. I love that you guys have established such a wonderful relationship together to the point where you would want to do, everybody wants to do another journey together with the unexpected, you know, just medical circumstances that are totally out of your control. Obviously, like you said, it's kind of natural to just carry some of the weight of that.
Speaker: I know in the beginning it was really hard. How has that evolved for you? um Well, we, we all kind of, you know, obviously I did my own research while everything was going on. I kind of had an idea of what was going on with baby even before they got like an official, you know, doctor diagnosis and the whole nine yards. um And so it was,
Speaker: it became easier to not blame myself as we went through it. And with them not blaming me either, like I kept apologizing and they were like, it's not your fault. It it just happens. It just happens. It's not your fault.
Speaker: And, you know, so they, them going through the process as well. And I think it was more of a relief to me whenever they said, it's not your fault.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. Because now they have the whole medical background and, you know, they understand what happened and maybe not why it happened, but they just have a more of a background on it. And so it was, it was just a huge relief for me to, for them to, to say, it's not your fault.
Speaker: Cause I don't think I ever would have stopped blaming myself had they, had they not acknowledged that. Yeah. Well, and again, right, like knowledge is power. And they were you guys kept with the the foundation that you created of transparency and clarity. And we're just going to be we're to continue that communication. Looking back on, you know, Jordan, when she's 18, with all of, you know, your ideas of surrogacy, to now that you have completed a journey, what has that experience just maybe taught you about maybe some of what you thought surrogacy was going to be like?
Speaker: Well, it was actually better than anything I could have ever anticipated. i love it. I mean, I... i I have people ask me all the time, you know, oh, i'm I'm considering surrogacy. Should I do it? I don't know. You know, i'm I'm worried that I'm gonna get attached to the baby or I'm worried that things aren't gonna go the way I'm hoping or anything like that. Like, what if what if I don't like the parents or what if they don't like me? And I'm like, this is the most rewarding thing I've ever done. And I'm like, every time, 10 out of 10, just do Just do it.
Speaker: Just do it. to sort like yield you just won't understand until you do it. It's so rewarding. And like, I felt so important and so like special to be a part of these, these, you know, new parents journey.
Speaker: And it it's awesome. It's awesome to be able to look at them and say, oh my gosh, they're such a beautiful family. I'm so glad I was able to help them.
Speaker: So it was, it was just so much better than I could have ever imagined. listen listen Absolutely. Oh, I love that. Is there any advice that you would want to give to someone who is thinking about being a certificate, but maybe they're unsure?
Speaker: Well, I mean, like I said, the questions that I would always get are like, you know, what if I get attached to the baby or what if I'm, what if I don't get along with the parents? And it's, I always tell them it's different when you go into it knowing that it's not biologically your baby.
Speaker: You go into it with the excitement that you're growing this child for the parents and it's going to be their baby and they get all the experiences and it's going to be such a beautiful thing.
Speaker: And so it like you'll love the baby. Yes. But not in the same way that you will your own child. You don't quite get attached the way you would to your own child.
Speaker: Yeah. And then when it comes to, you know, what if I don't get along with the parents? Well, that's where the, that's where having an awesome agency comes in because, you know, it's, it's, it's okay. If the first one doesn't work, it's okay. If there's just something that doesn't speak to you, it doesn't mean just because you match with, with the first couple that it has to be that it, it was that for me, it was perfect for me, but that doesn't, it shouldn't dissuade you.
Speaker: You know, there's, there's a perfect family out there and you just have to find them and working with an agency. Like if it, if there's something that bothers you or just doesn't feel right, then that's where you talk to your coordinator and, you know, you just work it out and you you're not hurting anybody's feelings. You're not, you know, it's, it's not a slight against anybody. It's just, if you are not the right surrogate for them, you need them to find the right one. and same thing for you.
Speaker: Right, right. That's exactly right. I mean, that's what makes that matching process just so important and so vital and having it be beyond just the basics of do we agree on these five things and then calling it a day. That's why there's just, it's such a it's such a nuanced process and it is so important to have such a great team that is willing to sit there and be like, okay, well, what's the thing that maybe is is holding you up and working through, i don't know what the vibe is. I don't know why, or you know just all of that stuff. It's helpful.
Speaker: Exactly. Exactly. And so many people see this as as just a financial transaction. i didn't realize how many people viewed surrogacy that way. And it's so much more than that. it's That's like...
Speaker: when you're with the right family and you're with the right agency and everything that is so far back on the back burner that it it doesn't even occur to you. I mean, Alana kept having to remind me and to you know do my compensation. I'm like, I don't even care. I'll do this for, I'll just do this for free. I don't need that.
Speaker: ah It's not on my mind. i don't need to worry about that. I'll worry about it later. ah Well, you're just, you're, you're getting such a different reward. i mean, yes yeah. Like you said, it's so beyond that.
Speaker: Yes. It's so far beyond that. And it it breaks my heart sometimes that people are like, oh, well, you know, you're just doing it for the money. Like, no, that wasn't even, that wasn't even part of the consideration when I started this.
Speaker: Like, yes, it's nice to be compensated. It a, it's a process. There's a lot of stress. There's a lot of needles. There's a lot of needles, guys. There's a lot of needles and some of them are really big.
Speaker: But yeah, that's not, that's not even close to what it was. And I just wish more people understood that. Well, like you said, right? Like there are, there are so many, there's way easier things to do if, if money is, is your, your only reason behind doing this. There are so many other easier things to do. Like you truly do have to have a heart for wanting to do this.
Speaker: Yes, for sure. Well, Jordan, again, i mean, I could not be just more thrilled and so happy for you that your first journey was as textbook as it was. And I mean, clearly you and your intended parents were just a match made in heaven. So, I mean, shout out to our amazing matching team. um But yes, I love that you guys came together and that despite maybe, you know,
Speaker: having medical complications post delivery. He's doing great. We're sending all of the good vibes for surgery today. um And it does not take away from the beautiful journey that you guys had. And I love that you guys are going to continue to have such a beautiful relationship going forward. I have one last question for you and it's a fun one.
Speaker: but You and i with our fabulous little matching coffee cups together, cheers, girlfriend. um ah It's kind of basically a personality trait at this point that coffee and I, we are just always together. i yeah It's just, yeah, it's a crutch. It's a thing. It's fine. But I always love to ask the question, what has filled your cup today?
Speaker: Literally or figuratively, what has been the thing to fill your cup? Oh, well, literally, jasmine green tea. Okay, fancy.
Speaker: Yes, I have been very much enjoying having caffeine again. i was very paranoid during the journey. I was like, okay, we got to have a you know, there's a 200 milligram cap on your caffeine, but I stayed well below that. Like I was drinking decaf coffee one time a day. so it's been nice to have the caffeine again.
Speaker: But I mean- As far as everything else, I would just say and knowing that, you know, the baby is in a very loving and happy family and that the parents are doing great and that they could not be happier to have him.
Speaker: um I've got some amazing pets that have helped me emotionally through the journey as well. i have an emotional support puppy. on You know, the that two weeks after you give birth when the hormones are just crazy, um my husband and I would be standing in the kitchen laughing and joking and having good time. And then just all of a sudden I'm, you know, just bawling for no reason. And of course he's panicked. Like, what do I, what do I do?
Speaker: Are you okay? and I'm like, I'm fine. I don't know why this is happening. so its hormones hormones are so real. Yes, yes, yes.
Speaker: So I had, you know, my emotional support animals and I called him my emotional support husband at the time as well, you know, um you He's been absolutely amazing through this process and I could not have asked for a better partner in all of this. And, you know, in the beginning he was, he was on board, but he was a little skeptical just because he was, he was worried, you know, for all this, all the same things everybody asks, what if you get attached? What if, you know, I didn't have postpartum depression with my son.
Speaker: And so we never saw how how that would affect me. And so he was worried. He was like, you know, what if it happens this time? What do we do? How how do I support you? And so he wanted the entire journey.
Speaker: His biggest takeaway from this was how do I be the best support system for her during this process? And so that's what he did. He dedicated himself to that. And he absolutely was every step of the way through the journey from the beginning until birth. I mean, even after birth, like he stayed home with me for the first week and, you know, was very attentive and made sure I had everything I needed. And, and it he fills my cup every day and he's the best partner I could have ever possibly asked for. He shows up for me a hundred percent of the time without fail.
Speaker: So I just, I have an amazing family. I have an amazing partner. i have, you know, amazing pets. So i have I have so much to fill my cup that it overflows on a regular basis. Overflowing. I love that. And again, i just love so much how, because it really is, it does make a difference to have that team that is supporting you, whether it is a great agency, which I agree with you. um But then, yes, it is important to have that support at home or close by, whether it is a partner or a best friend or family or, you know, whatever that support can look like. It is so vital because yes, either throughout the journey, you know, hormones are wacky or post delivery, we're in the kitchen dancing and now we're crying. Like we need to have somebody that's there that's gonna, you know, ask those questions, be your advocate or just be there to hold your hand and just be like, Hey, it's okay. It's just a moment. We've got this.
Speaker: Yes. Yes. There was so many times where he would just hold me and he's like, I don't know what you need right now, but I'm going to hold you until you can tell me. That's it.
Speaker: That's it. yeah Those are just the perfect words. That's all you got to do. Yeah. Yep. That was all i needed. oh that's so beautiful. that's so beautiful. I love that. oh I love that so much.
Speaker: Well, Jordan, again, thank you so much for your time, your vulnerability, for sharing just your beautiful story. And I am, again, we're sending all of the good vibes to Sweet Baby. And then also, I know, I just know that I'm going to be talking to you again because sure, we're going to be doing another journey at some point. So yeah.
Speaker: Absolutely.
