Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Ep 6 - Healing Together: Celebrating World Refugee Day (June 20th) w/ Ny Derry
29 Plays4 months ago
Lao Helping Lao Discussion Topics:
1. The Importance of Mentorship and Community Support
2. Challenges and Triumphs of the Lao Community (Lack of resources, relate to any personal experiences and your gathering of data.
3. Future Visions for Lao Helping Lao: Short term 1 year and long term. What would fulfillment look like?
About Ny Derry:
Ny came to the United States as a refugee from Laos in 1980 at the age of 8, along with her parents and three siblings. She attended Broome Community College and then transferred to Binghamton University, State University of New York, where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Social Sciences as a first-generation college graduate.
For over 25 years, Ny has been involved as both a staff and volunteer for the Girl Scouts Council in Michigan. She has been a lifetime member of the Girl Scouts of the USA since 1997.
Ny is the proud mother of two daughters, both of whom are software engineers. During her career break to be home with her daughters, Ny was actively involved in various organizations supporting her daughters' development, such as leading a Girl Scout Troop and serving as the PTA president. Additionally, she mentored her daughter's FIRST robotics team as the Communications Mentor and in the Program Management role. Her involvement with the robotics team inspired her to pursue a certification in coding, leading to her completion of a 10-week Java Developer boot camp. Later, she founded the Girls Who Code Club in Livonia, MI, in the fall of 2017 and continued its activities through 2019.
Ny has been passionate about uniting the Lao/Laotian communities since high school. In 2010, she created the Lao Helping Lao Facebook page to uplift and unite all people of Lao heritage and their allies. In January 2023, Lao Helping Lao became an LLC, marking the beginning of Ny's social entrepreneurship journey.
Opportunities:
Lao Helping Lao wants to be a company that can provide a directory on any subject to help individuals or groups work together rather than compete. Our success means that we can create opportunities that will ensure our future generations are set up for success.
If you are a subject-matter expert or business owner/founder and want to be listed in our directory, contact Ny at [email protected] for an interview. It’s FREE: https://www.laohelpinglao.com/directory.
Also, if you need help with anything, contact Ny for a free consultation to determine your next steps.
Get to know Ny Derry - Past & Present Fun fact: Crew Manager for my husband's car racing hobby, ex-real estate agent, stay-at-home mom career break for 16 years, FIRST Robotic High School Competitive Team mentor, Girl Scout highest Gold Award Advisor, Girls Who Code Facilitator, Empty-nester with an RV to explore
Contact Info:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/LaoHelpingLao
Mention Pure Mending Podcast to get your complimentary 1-on-1
Membership for free consultation for career exploration or development.
Website: https://www.laohelpinglao.com/membership
Subscribe Now! Go check Pure Mending
Website: https://www.pure-mending.com [https://www.pure-mending.com/]
Follow & Like:
Pure Mending FB: https://www.facebook.com/PureMending1
Pure Mending IG: https://www.instagram.com/puremending/
Recommended
Transcript
Welcome Intro to Pure Mending
00:00:01
Speaker
You're listening to Pure Mending, exploring the triad of happiness, health, wealth, and relationship transformation. Body, mind, voice, rise. Your host here, Linda Than. This show will serve individuals navigating personal growth, healing, and breaking the silence, especially single parents providing inspiration, guidance, and day support of community for a resilient and fulfilling journey. As we embark on this adventure, let's remember our guiding mantra, do something new, something different. It's not just a motto, it's a call to an adventure, an invitation to step into the unknown and discover the power within ourselves.
Episode 6 Introducing Guest Ny Derry
00:00:38
Speaker
Welcome to Episode 6, Healing Together, Celebrating World Refugee Day, June 20th with Ny Derry. Pure Mending's mission of healing support and community empowerment.
00:00:51
Speaker
So let me introduce you to Ny, came to the United States as a refugee from Laos in 1980, at the age of eight, along with her parents and three siblings. She attended Broome Community College and then transferred to Binghamton University State University of New York, where she earned a Bachelor of Science in Social Sciences as a first-generation college graduate. For over 25 years, Ny has been involved as both a staff and a volunteer for the Girl Scouts Council in Michigan. She has been a lifetime member of the Girl Scouts of the USA since 1997. NY the proud mother of two daughters, both of whom are software engineers. During her career break to be home with her daughters, Ny actively involved in various organizations supporting her daughter's development, such as leading a Girl Scout troop and serving as the PTA president.
00:01:45
Speaker
Additionally, she mentioned her daughter's first robotics team as the communication mentor and the program management role. Her involvement with the robotics team inspired her to pursue a certification in coding, leading her to completing a 10-week Java developer bootcamp. Later, she founded the Girls Who Code Club in Navonia, Michigan in the fall of 2017 and continued its activities through 2019. Ny been passionate about uniting the Lao Laotian community since high school. In 2010, she created the Lao Helping Lao Facebook page to uplift and unite all people of Lao heritage and their allies. In January, 2023, Lao Helping Lao became an LLC, marking the beginning of Ny's entrepreneurship journey.
00:02:32
Speaker
So some past and present fun fact about me, she is a crew manager for her husband's car racing hobby. An ex-real estate agent, a stay-at-home mom, career break for 16 years, first robotic high school competitive team mentor, Girl Scouts highest gold award advisor, girls who code facilitator, empty nester with an RV to
Ny’s Roles and Mentorship Experiences
00:02:54
Speaker
explore. Wow. You do all this. What a super mom. Wow. Thank you. Thank you for the introduction. Wow. Yeah, husband's car racing hobby. Did you know I was a street racer in my teens? Wow. My husband would love talking to you. And now I cannot do any street racing back in Utah. I was doing street racing there. And also when I came to Oregon, I was racing cars also. It was either in the speed or the challenge that
00:03:30
Speaker
When they were racing, I wanted to get in there. Ever since then, I was hooked. Wow. Yep. I cannot do it. I could only be the manager. We are like, we have empty nesters with an art to explore. That's awesome. I can't wait to hear more. Yes. Yes. Yes.
00:03:52
Speaker
All right. Thank you, Ny for being on the show. I have so many questions for you and I know our listeners can't wait to meet you in person. Let's go into some of the questions I have. So mentorship is a core value of peer mending. I want our listeners to hear who have been a model or a mentor in your journey that has influenced you for mentorships.
00:04:19
Speaker
Wow. I've been thinking about this, I've been thinking about this questions and no one mentor has stuck into my mind, but there's many, many people without their knowledge that they have touched me in some way. And, one of the things that stands out is that of course, when I arrived here, when I was eight years old, my sponsor which is in the Black community that I never seen a Black person before and had come and welcomed us to this new land, new beginnings that my parents has took us. And once he came and welcomed us, hugged us, he was the protector, he was our,
00:05:17
Speaker
everything is gonna be fine. That stands out as far as who is this man and his family to have that sense where I'm gonna take this refugees family to be under my home and under my care. And I know it's a church sponsorship, but to be able to take responsibility for somebody that they don't know anything that much about but take that risk because of the situation that we were in. From that concept for an eight-year-old to see is that the giving, the mentoring, the helping my parents to find a job, helping to
00:06:06
Speaker
clothed us, having donations for us, the community comes together. So all that giving that I received, that's what I want to give back, is that it doesn't belong to me. Somebody gave that to me. So I want to give that away. So the kindness, the community, the outreach, the compassion, the hope that they gave me is those things that I want to give to somebody else. And I think that's what shaped me was somebody has sponsored a family, the whole concept. And that's what leads me to what I'm doing now is that
00:07:02
Speaker
to be the beacon of somebody that don't have a clue of what they could dream of and that you could show them the possibility. And that's right now talking to you that's really stuck to me when you mention what stands out, who's that? And I think it's not that just one person again, it's the whole community that welcomed us in open arms. And that's why through my life, I didn't, I didn't understand come to the United States, the black and white issue, because all I knew was this black family and community that welcome us. And that's not talked about, but I know through my life, whatever's in the television.
00:07:50
Speaker
it's not co-insigned what I'm living. And so that's the first of all, it was conflict within a child's mind and also teenagers and all that
Navigating Life in America as a Refugee
00:08:00
Speaker
part. So I got through life navigating of what's real and what's not real and through the shows and to talk about mentorship and that's the show that give me guidance too, just like, you know, the TV shows, you know, what family do I want to, to, to create, you know, my show that I watch a lot was Little House on the Perry. And of course the Cosby Show, because those are the family moments that I love that they discuss, they have career.
00:08:36
Speaker
there's issues, there's a family meeting. And so I incorporate that to my non-speaking parents, which should go, what the, what are you doing? Why are we talking? You should be listening to me, you know, things like that. So, and of course, you know, I mentioned Oprah, Winfrey Shoho was my my connection to how I want to live and understand the world because she takes her audience through the answering the curiosity and learning different things that she's not aware of and introduce it in the television have to because my environment didn't allow me to think
00:09:23
Speaker
and grow how I wanted to. The next best thing was the community I'm living, whatever they have as far as programs or things like that, for helping the people that are going through rough time to media where they show a family dynamics that I want to create in my life. of all those things. And because my parents was not able to give that to me, which I don't blame them in any way. So and that's how I became the mother and the parenting. I was to my two daughters, and I did the best I can, but they might tell you differently.
00:10:16
Speaker
what kind of mother I am but but I tried my best that's hopefully I answer your questions about about what shape who shaped me and I think they start with I also want to know and maybe you can also share our to our audience when you said you're coming here and as being a sponsor what are the main reasons for your coming here as a refugee what happened The main reason is what I learned is that there's a difference between refugee and immigrants. So immigrants, they come here for better opportunities and all that stuff that is not their life is for the better, for the most part, but refugee is fleeing for prosecution or it's like life and death situation.
00:11:12
Speaker
In my situation, of course, with the Vietnam War, some of the, which till today is a secret war, and that's why it's never talked about because I'm pretty sure that my father's generation, if they are talked about, they have consequences. And so every time I wanna know something, there's always a shutdown in the sense
00:11:40
Speaker
of why we are actually here. But now that I'm grown up, you know, as far as looking for information is that there was a war and we lost. My dad, for us to stay there, our life is in danger because we were with the Americans. That's, and then we flee, and then we went to Thailand to be in a refugee camp and to apply for anybody that want to sponsor us.
00:12:15
Speaker
Either some people have family already there in the country that they were displaced or a group of people that want to help the situation. That's why my family and I are here. And then I, of course, joined with other Lao community, Laotian community. in the United States. And of course, we are displaced all around the world, but we either could wait to go to be united with our family in France, or we just got sponsored. And we do not want to say, no, I pass. I don't want to go with the United States, but we of course took it because I know through learning is that
00:13:04
Speaker
A year in a refugee camp is nothing to compare to 15 to 18 years in refugee camp, like some other countries around the world that they have, which is, that's another issues that refugee are different. So all I could say is that our life is in danger and we need to be able to get out. and the sponsor save our family from that situation and to come to start a new life. And now it's my new home. Thank you for sharing that. You know, I'm glad you're here and we are here talking and sharing about this. Same thing with my family. I can resonate with that is with that happening is they were in danger. My dad had worked in the US Embassy and he had asked my mom
00:13:58
Speaker
Uh, we need to go. And she goes, go where, uh, this is our opportunity. Uh, they're going to fly us out today. And do you want to go? And she was kind of like, she remembered her telling me, and I think I'll, I'll get more of her story. She's like, okay, you don't hear, I'm going to go with her, go with you. Cause that's her husband. And then he had asked his brother and family, sisters and stuff, if they want to go with him too, cause you know, everybody had an opportunity to come. And, you know, being scared and, and leaving was one of the things that some of them decided, no, I have a family I'm going to stay back. So he was the first person to bring my mom here. And I always say this, I was born, not made in Cambodia, born in the USA. That's how I journeyed through my mom's womb.
00:14:51
Speaker
to be born here. And that's when she said that, you know, my dad gave us an opportunity to live here to come here and escape. And, and unfortunately, you know, it didn't happen for the rest of the family, but they're they're still there. My dad's side of family, I haven't talked to them, which I plan to go back and learn more about Cambodia and find out where and to learn more about what could happen silently until I'm able to, you know, to share it because some of the things that our parents don't even want to talk about or my grandpa, I don't think I've ever asked him because I don't know how he would feel. But thank you for sharing your story and how you got here. And with Lao helping Lao,
00:15:33
Speaker
Can you share what you would do to create that safe space for others to share their stories and their experiences just like this or anything else?
00:15:42
Speaker
Yeah, I created Lao Helping Lao because sometimes I felt alone as far as being a Lao person, a Lao American. Being my 50 now, empty nester got laid off and have to re-revent myself. Some of the things that came to where my questioning is like, who am I?
00:16:15
Speaker
especially when people are asking me, you know, what is Lao American? What is Lao versus Lao Shen? All the stuff that is confusing when I was young, it's confusing now. So I stopped making excuses and say, hey, you know what, I'm going to tackle this because it means a lot. Getting to know who I am. So if I do Lao helping Lao at least the Focus I want to do because I always have that passion is to understand why we're here Why we're here and you know what we could do to Better ourselves or or a purpose in life. Let's say, you know, so first I have to know who I am and
00:17:05
Speaker
find somebody to help me learn where I came from and what happened. Since, you know, I don't have that answer for my, for my parents, you know, my, my mom now passed away. So it's like, it's in my dad's is still alive. So I don't have too much time to make excuses to learn our history. So I'm hoping that Lao Helping Lao is an intimate start out with intimate where I could do my 25 years experience of nonprofit, volunteer and working that I could be of help to somebody to explore why they're here, you know, or
00:17:54
Speaker
Um, where are they going to go? So the safe spaces would be the one-on-one with me and then see from there where it takes. And, and that's how I start the process of, of my membership route, as far as being a student to being adult, to having the organization you work for or being a founder, co-founder of organization to then in turn mentor the younger generation or the people that wanting to know you feel to either explore it or develop it. So that's the whole diff of what Lao helping Lao is, is that
00:18:50
Speaker
you know, to be that space to explore and have have an subject matter expert to help you whatever path you feel that you want to explore or need help with. I'm actually having my one in one with you.
00:19:10
Speaker
today yes yes I feel that I am also excited about where I'm going to go and where we are going to go together and that's what you know, keeps me paddling, you know, like staying up and believing in my own mission, right, where I see myself in the future and finding my tribe. And I'm happy that I got to meet you through Thiep, who is a part of the
Advice on Seeking Community Support
00:19:46
Speaker
the Laotian American Community of Michigan. Last but not least is through community, through people that we meet and connect together. So as an advice from you, I want you to share with our listeners who may be seeking support or looking to connect with a supportive community. What advice do you have for them?
00:20:05
Speaker
Well, first of all, you have to recognize that you need help or seeking support or whatever that is. First, you have to recognize it, that you can't do it by yourself. And if you don't recognize it, then you're going to be doing it by yourself. But the problem I find is that there's not the organization that you could go to to do that and that's why I created this because I can't find it for myself and I'm a kind of person that if I can't find it, I'm going to be it. It seems like for the listeners that are listening, either you are seeking or you already have something to give to
00:20:56
Speaker
to help somebody that you were once there. So it's for everybody. So it's for people that need help and that the people that already have this thing together to give to that person, you know, so mentor mentorship mentorship is big, that not helping Lao want to develop. And that's why is going to be known as a directory for the community to use, and which is the subject matter expert or the founders or the CEO of the subject that is in
00:21:35
Speaker
Lao helping Lao directory, and it's varies, it's everything from music to business to law to government to vocations. I mean, hopefully I don't miss anything so anybody that that are seeking or want to give something, Lao Helping Lao is for you to start out with. So that's how all you could do is those subjects and things that you could do, your stages in your life, and that's how you start. And then, you know, start talking about it. There you go. Thank you, Nay. If you are listening and you are seeking, looking, or
00:22:14
Speaker
want to provide those services please reach out to me and by you sharing that you just you just talked Linda language and it was that's why I want 10k and co is a place for resources a directory for all organizations to to be there so people can have to reach out to but most importantly is if people come to us and they're like well I need this you know where do I start that's where we want to be that where that one-on-one talk is is you know come to us come see me she will be able to provide you the resources what's most important is knowing you know there are other organizations that are providing this you know what
00:23:00
Speaker
helps us to stand out. What do we need to do? And we won't know this unless you come and talk to us and tell us, hey, you're not, you know, these are things I don't see in our community. I would like to have this. And so that's when we welcome our listeners, you know, people are looking, seeking, adding to our organizations. What do they don't see? And how can we weather and collaborate to come to the red table and bring this to our listeners into our organizations.
00:23:34
Speaker
And for me, it's a lot helping Lao is a big thing with finding solutions, you know, our tagline is founding solutions. And it's like, we don't want to be the problem of wherever our situation is. So and we don't want to be a victim anymore. You know, so So we want to be organization that bring out the best and of everybody has the potential to when they have the right information or resources, you know, and of course the information and resources we need as well. You know, so, so if you could provide that, that's also is needed as well.
00:24:16
Speaker
as I was telling Linda, it's, you know, this venture that Lao Helping Lao is started 2023. So that's just a year ago. And it's it's social entrepreneurship that is want to convey to the listener is what we aim to be is whatever money that we earn or have would be back to the impact. And hopefully, you know, we work with enough organization and people that we eventually be just helping, helping each other, mentoring each other, guide each other, you know, do whatever that is that we're curious about or wanting a solution for. I'm hopeful.
00:25:08
Speaker
that Lao Helping Lao could be that organization also template for other group as well. And then as my journey is that I still need to know more about myself and more about my community. And that's why the name is, I want people to know that I am Lao And if you've been called out that once and don't have somebody that would understand where your situation is that you don't have to come to me and explain all that because we are just cut to the chase and go moving forward because we already know our history and what we don't know, we're going to find out together.
00:25:59
Speaker
See, it's what they want. Do you want to feed into that or break the cycle? Break the social media.
00:26:11
Speaker
But I guess we needed to get our message across to the world. So this is bad and good. there's always team good and team bad. So I didn't want to be team good and continue on that movement. You know, it's just not that I try to avoid and kind of suppress what's, no, there's things like out there that it's horrible, but I just don't want that in my mind. You know, if, if I, if I put a lot of positive things,
00:26:49
Speaker
I would concentrate on that and I would be more positive. I noticed all the time that there's people that watch news 24 hours and they see negativity, right? And so they're negative in things. They see negative in positive things that I see. And how could you see, I realize that people have different perspective. But that's exactly what I'm talking about. Even our parent, I have three siblings and four of us, we have the same parent, but we live the different lives. It's the same concept of where we take things in how we want to experience and how we want to live our life. And sometimes we don't know how.
00:27:39
Speaker
And that's what I realized, it's not that people don't want to, it's just that they are not taught or maybe there's no, they don't see that there's other options, you know, because they don't meet people like outside the box, you know what I mean? They want to be comfortable and meet, you know, I know that we're trying to find like-minded women out there,
00:28:08
Speaker
But I already coming in, not one view, you know what I mean? But when I speak to some people, it's just like, this is all I want to know. This is what I'm comfortable with. I don't want to taste yet food, because I like this food. Why do I want to taste it? Why do I want to go to another place? Because I love this place. Things like that. It's like the more people I feel that the more diverse of people that I talk to, my mind expand and expand because it's like, wow, I never thought of that way. Or, you know, so, even from age to race to, uh, sex is just how you explain the, the life, you know, and, and, and I love to learn from other people. I mean, um,
00:29:04
Speaker
So that's awesome. Yeah, me too. That's why I feel that when I share something that others have not thought about, like when I'm scared, the lady said, there are differences in what we do in our business, in our personal life, but it's not like it's a bad thing, she said. It's very, it opened up her mind to see other views because If, let's just say we, it's like going to therapy or counseling. You're not going, you go to a different counselor to see if you can, I don't know what you want out of it, but different news or different ways to help for somebody else who can understand a different way. Or are we looking for someone who only sees it our way?
00:29:53
Speaker
I want to go to counseling is just to talk and share what I think and then get a different perspective because I do get a lot of pushback when I share. And it's just my opinions, you know, in general, I think I've said that to you too. It's not even my opinion. Sometimes I just say what I think, but then the other person is like, oh no, no, no, that's, you know, so whatever I feel I thought it's not valid, which is okay if it's or you know people get into politics and they have a debate about it and that's why I don't want to debate I don't want to talk or fight or argue but I will stand on my ground for things like that I believe in and positivity is what we surround ourself with so if we go out we learn from people that don't align with us that can also be bad we can learn
00:30:45
Speaker
You know what we are positive thinking about to wait do that what should I think about this? This is something that what you know, it may questions your good questions me especially Well, I think I think that you know what I learned is that sometime even within your family like as somebody that you trust somebody that supposed to be got you back, but then it's not the the thing that you need, you know, because I mean, I'm not blaming on them, just like, you know, because they probably don't know, you know, because we're, we're like from the same upbringing. But it's kind of hard when somebody you love criticize you or, or make you less than, and then you're starting to believe it because like, they supposed to love you.
00:31:42
Speaker
And they're saying that. And so I need to be stronger than that. Sometimes you're so weak that you need to feed into your loved ones that say that you're not worthy. So how could you be somebody that I feel that by yourself trying to have that strength to move on when everybody don't see it. So the question is like, how, how do you pull through talking about cycle? How do we get out of that? Because it's our norm is our loved ones. And you know, the community be supposed to care for us. But in turn, when you realize that that's not healthy, that's when you say, Oh, my gosh,
00:32:38
Speaker
I need to have set boundaries, even though you're my loved ones. I have to leave because it's not healthy. And that takes a lot of strength and a lot of courage to kind of believe yourself than the mass. So that's the question of, I think everybody When we talk about leadership and successful, that 1% is hard when you don't value yourself because you've been told all your life. As you're sharing that, one who listens can kind of go back and think about those times.
00:33:20
Speaker
for for me it was you know i'm not feeling enough and i actually did step out and said you know i'm not going to listen to this i'm going to take time from you and i did for a year you know the people that's in my family that loves me and tells me things that makes me feel like i was not worthy in my episode four i did share about that and who it was that that is a constant even till this day sees me on social media. Oh, you need to get healthy and lose weight. You know, you're getting fat, but I'm okay in my skin. I should, of course, if it was the other way around where I was not happy with myself and you know, it could lead other people to different, yeah, bulimic or they're not feeling
00:34:08
Speaker
that they're attractive and they look at every single model thinking, Oh, you know, I wish I could be like that. So it's like an incident. It's a buried in the brain and tell me that my whole life. So I just look at it as, you know, I guess our elders and the older generation, that's their way of telling that they love and care for you. Just looking for you in their own words. Um, I'm not sure if we talked about this before. It's first generation Americans that come here and what we'd go through to mention that her dad.
00:34:42
Speaker
would, would tell her that she needs to fix this life well, but are always teaching her things that were tough, so that she can learn in this world, but never told her that, you know, she did good, and always keep bringing or teaching her more things in life that are hard work, you know, Whereas she never learned how to speak and how to talk. And she always thought about why is she so quiet? Why is she don't want to be in around the society or she gets anxious when she's around people or big crowds. And then one day
00:35:19
Speaker
And I think that she said that she noticed it in her mom. Her mom works and does the thing, but whatever dad said to do, that's what she does. There was no sharing of how she felt, what she needed or what she wanted. She just did the everyday stuff. And then that's when she realized what she thought she was growing up with her dad, teaching her all this stuff was really not her dad putting her down to make her feel that way, but saw that in her mom. Her mom didn't speak up. Her mom was shy. Her mom didn't want to know people. And then she had the aha moment.
00:35:58
Speaker
Yeah, and the kids see us. We don't see things as until we grow up in like what our parents taught us was
00:36:06
Speaker
Yeah, I think that's kind of human development being study human psychology part, I think there's certain age that a brain develop. And it's just part if you don't know that that you it's like, oh, you're stupid, or you know, you're how come you don't think like that? And, but it's just a brain human brain develop and everybody's different. And you know, and you, you see people, you know, they're like 40 years old, but have a mind of a 16 year old, you know, so everybody's different. But if you don't know that in a culture is don't know the psychology of human brain, then you something that is not normal, you criticize just the word that the vocabulary, you know, it's like, Oh,
00:36:57
Speaker
you know, you're stupid. All the negative things that a child or somebody that are vulnerable to believe in, including myself, that is maybe something is wrong with me. So if you don't know that, if elder doesn't know that there's certain stages in the brain that you can't concept and you sometimes you have to wait, teach some things, because you can't comprehend when you're young and you're teaching life lessons that they can't even comprehend because they don't never experience it or foresee it. You know what I mean? In their stage, in their stage. Looking back, seeing that it's just like, oh, even like I said, you know, I always do life lesson through my experience. And a lot of times my experience
00:37:53
Speaker
And I'm hoping if somebody have the same thing, then they could connect and so forth. But I'm pretty sure that there's people out there that doesn't see it, don't know what I'm talking about. And we'll just move on instead of criticizing that you're wrong. Your way of thinking is wrong. It's like, I think if we stop that, I think will be a much nicer society, kindness, compassion, empathy. I think that's the key is that we all are different. I have to relate to it. I have a lot of patience for how we think it's not the same as everyone, right?
Impact of Upbringing on Personal Development
00:38:33
Speaker
I don't want them to see it my way, but I want to share and talk about it. But because I share and talk about it, they think I talk too much. But the talking too much is knowing, you know, to fill the room and who you can share that with because the other person on the other end may or may not understand it. Yeah, the person that I know that I have a lot of patience with is my ex fiance. But I even said, I'm going to go to hell calling you stupid right now. now. Well it's just an ease of vocabulary that we know that it's just an easy way but if it takes a longer when you're analyzing it and empathy and compassion it just takes too long. So I said knowing before I said the word and afterwards sorry I said that but yeah you are okay what is going on how come know your mom said
00:39:37
Speaker
that you were never home to teach you all these valuable lessons and also responsibilities so that when you get older you're able to live in the world of adult, you know, being an adult. Their mind has no mature, and I'm sorry on the other side of the camera. I'm a little bit turning inside, but yeah, it's how your brain develops. For those of us who's listening to this right now, we're in our late 40s and 50s, and we have our significant other or people that are around the same age that are not. You know what, Linda? I always have the aha.
00:40:17
Speaker
When I reflect my younger years and what would I do different, the thing is, is that some people, they don't want to grow, okay? They are happy the way they are, and when they meet somebody that want to grow, it scares them, okay? Because why do you want to suffer, meaning, You know, you have to go through the emotions. Some people are not good with emotions and feeling, right? So a lot of people that I know that I don't want to grow and it's fine. It's fine because, but I know that I want to grow, but if it's going to be conflict, then there's going to be an issue. And that's what happened when we see grown people still thinking,
00:41:15
Speaker
not their age is because they just don't want to. There's decision for me, okay, I respect that. But for me, that's why I have to learn to be confident who I am, knowing where I want to go. And if they don't fit that, they either come with me or not. And I have to be strong. And then we're talking about loved ones. So it's hard to because it's disguise of you know, the universe is testing you. Here's your assignment, which is your family, close friends.
00:41:50
Speaker
If you could deal with all the life lessons, emotions, all that stuff with what I assigned you, you have no problem to go out in the world. And if you still have that conflict within the eyes assigned you with, then you're going to have that problem when you're outside of your assignment. That's for me is that that's why I keep on looking at who am I assigned Two, in what issue that I'm still having a problem with because I'm comfortable, do it because of the loved ones. But like I said, that's your assignment and that's your test, is the one that's closest to you. And a lot of my directions and stuff, I tried it with my family, my parents, my children, my husband. Again, it's just me. It's how I learn.
00:42:40
Speaker
And some people don't see it and that's fine. But that's what I could give to the world is that when I think about it, when you are chaotic in what you're assigned, when I say assignment is loved ones, you do better when somebody don't know you. You tend to excel and succeed, which is either work or other people that doesn't know you. And they see like your superstar because on the other hand, you know, your loved ones, put you down and all the stuff that
Challenges and Motivations in Entrepreneurship
00:43:11
Speaker
the test and that's why I think for me in my past it's like I always want to please other people rather than my family. They praise me, they need my service, they need me and so I felt love. That's another trait as when we talk about people pleaser you know or workaholic or you know try to prove myself.
00:43:35
Speaker
And that's why everything I touch, I got to do 110%, which is non-existent. I think that's what I got out of the reflection of when we talk about different opinions, different direction, you're right, you're wrong, but it's just, it's just all a choice. And some people just don't want to go, go there. and learn more and more. Other people are just like, I'm done. Leave me alone. I got my money for my retirement. I could do nothing if I want to choose to. But now it's up to you to either you put up with that or do your own thing. And that's where we are now, right? Talking to you. You know, we're talking about entrepreneurship, going out in our community,
00:44:29
Speaker
And that's where we're at as far as close to our fifties, like we're that bridger between the younger and the older, we're like in the middle. So we see both sides. Right now, you know, as we talk about this, we're looking at, you know, how can I stop being a people pleaser? Or what kind of trauma causes people pleasing? And then also, why am I constantly people pleasing? What is the root cause of people pleasing? And I think that you covered some of that too in here.
00:45:03
Speaker
And it is because, you know, you have to find another way if you're a positive person, and if you want to grow, if you can't have it in your immediate assignment, then you're going to go out to get somewhere else. You know, because you just don't believe that this this is it. There's more. And I don't know. that trait, you know, where we get it from, why some people have it and some people don't. And I think that's why mentorship comes along. That's why human services program, all that establishment is for the people that don't have it and they have it available.
00:45:45
Speaker
And I feel like throughout my life, I just seek out and I, I told you one of the pre question about mentorship is like, I always look at the media, you know, because I can't find it where I am. How funny we talk about social media being so out there now, you know, but some people need a place for, to develop because in their environment, they, they don't get that. And so that's why I went to social sciences field, human services field, social workers field. It's because to have that space for the people that needs and wants it, they are looking for it, there is available. And then you come to nonprofit and it makes sense with all that. And you talk about nonprofit and you talk about entrepreneurship. For me,
00:46:36
Speaker
I'm doing social entrepreneurship. And that's something outside the box that I'm trying to do. It's like, could we do social entrepreneurship? Could we earn the money that we got profit for to help to impact our community in something that we love? And that's for me has been what I found that is my purpose is that I have to figure this out. bridging the two. So if you could label me of who I am now in my stage of my life, my journey of entrepreneurship is social entrepreneurship. That's what I want to be known for. What is social entrepreneurship? Who I am, the entrepreneurship where, oh my goodness, we don't talk about money and, you know, is it a, you know,
00:47:27
Speaker
of a community is like, oh, she thinks about it's money, you know, all that stuff. And this is like, wow, we need money to help people. If you don't have that money, you can't help people. That's coming together for me, but it's hard to do. It's hard to do. And I think if I stop listening to people criticizing and putting me down and all that stuff, it will happen. And I will attract the people that's on the same road. social entrepreneurship, that's my journey. How do I bridge my love for people to funding to find solution for humanity that I, for me in my life, that I feel that my purpose. I want to be a part of that tiny solution, doing my best so I don't have regrets. When I do leave that I did what I want to do instead of listening
00:48:26
Speaker
to people that I can't do. I have to find grace to kind of give myself a break. If somebody don't tell me that I have to tell myself like, you know, you're doing too much, you know, your health is not good. That's where I'm at as far as being 50, my health and all that stuff. I need to pay attention more on we're not as young. All that comes to factors. I want to do more so I have to take care and be healthy mentally, physically, and then spiritually, whatever that looks like. And as I'm listening to that, it's actually a whole another topic that we want to share. We were talking about how can we also promote social entrepreneurship. And I actually haven't heard that term social entrepreneurship and I had to Google it how we impact in our community and in our society.
00:49:18
Speaker
How can we promote social entrepreneurship? What you have just shared with four major challenges of social entrepreneurship is the lack of financial resources, the limited awareness and support that we need to balance that social impact scaling, replicating what we do. And that's why I just love listening to you because we both align in what we want to do for our community and also for the public. In our Asian community, Cambodian Lao and our allies,
00:49:53
Speaker
As speaking up and learning about my culture, reaching out, sharing, and I'd have to understand what I'm sharing when people ask. And if I don't know, I go find out.
Personal Development and Social Entrepreneurship
00:50:05
Speaker
So it's been. It's been a very rewarding and also the social entrepreneurship that I'm talking about is that how could I make this a life, a living? How could I make a living? And then having whatever that is to go back again. So it's like a circle. So there is grants, there is government stuff, but for me, I want to like,
00:50:35
Speaker
we could do it, we could do it. A whole bunch of people that wants the same thing, we could find the solution to do it. We don't need to depend on other people that doesn't see what we want to do and don't understand, you know, the people. Even our own people don't understand. But I got my assignment, which is my family, to navigate to this far. So nothing could break me as well, Linda, just like you. It was like, oh, come on, bring it on, bro. I've been through everything. So I'm at that point, too. It's just like, OK, what else excuses you have? What excuses do you have? The only thing that's stopping you is you. And yeah.
00:51:21
Speaker
Nothing can break us. And if you fall, we just get back up. Moving forward, how the business can align with your operation, with social and the environment goals. And I can't wait to hear how you set those goals and skills to generate income.
00:51:40
Speaker
For my website, I spend about 13 years on and off, but really intensely we allowed helping a year or so for serving the people that I know to get to this point. And it took me six months to develop my website and to have a business plan that works as far as money. And I researched the people that in the lines of what I'm doing,
00:52:10
Speaker
And I came up with a decent amount because Linda, I just want to let you know that just like you interviewing me and I'm interviewing you, Lao Helping Lao is not for everybody. And I'm only one person and I want to expand. I want to have the money to have the best company I could have. But right now, because I'm a startup and I'm doing the frontline, you know, to get like what I want for this company that I need to pick the people that I feel that will get me there. So basically you have to pass a certain things that I need for you to do to get my service.
00:53:02
Speaker
Not that I'm all that. We're talking about Southworth, come on. It takes me one thing for me to go in the corner. It's like, eh, I'm a bad mom. But here I am talking like I'm all that. No, I worked hard to become this healthy for myself.
00:53:22
Speaker
If nobody else will, I have to do myself. But in a journey of, yes, I have this price and I have this time, but not everybody gonna get that from me. You know what I'm saying? It's part of the interview process of of did you pass that test because I've been tested all my life, you know, like when we were talking about the assignment with our family and the things that we need to know. So Helping Lao is a platform for people to explore what they want. And I want to be a platform for you to be able to do that.
00:54:02
Speaker
And let's do this together and it's going to, you know, it's going to be slow and it's going to be all that. Like I said, I spent a lot of time in. In cultivating things and what I have now is. Like when we're talking about money, it's like, well, my software is telling me not to, so I can't do it. You know what I mean? It's like, even though I want to get for free, they can't because they have to go through my software. So I set it up that way for me, it's not for anybody, it's for me because I have a hard time.
00:54:38
Speaker
in charging people because being 16 years volunteer and to come out of that. And when I'm volunteering, I'm talking about leadership petition that people pay big bucks to be volunteer because I'm in the stage for me to be able to volunteer because I want to make sure that I'm there for my kids. So that was my choice. But I volunteer for things that I know that I'm passionate about Little did I know that I'm putting everything that I have for 16 years into something that the real business are doing, which is social entrepreneurship. That's what I have to tackle. I'm finally confident in my product, and of course there's going to be some
00:55:25
Speaker
you know, like you and I are like case studies all the time. And that's why I love it because it's shaping me where I want to go. It's who coming to my world. You know what I mean? So if I'm not going there to kind of like beg people, right? It's not that kind of service. Like if you need a service, here's what Lao Helping Lao could do for you. And that's where That's where I spend my time and effort on you to make you realize what you want. And if you think that Lao helping Lao could help you, then then we'll do it together, you know, and as far as money part is like whatever you could, whatever you could
00:56:08
Speaker
uh, you know, Jai, which is my love was like zero. You don't have to pay anything to, to, to be in the LA helping LAO to see all the resources. And then if you're a student that, you know, need some service hours or some, uh, internship and all that stuff that you're trying to work towards, hopefully LA helping LAO could connect you and have the skills that you need. then there for adult where you know I want to start a business or I want to do this but I don't know how and that's adult membership where you know you and I could like explore some some things that that could help you to get there and then lastly the membership for the business and organization and mainly the non-profit that need help with
00:56:55
Speaker
you know, fundraising, volunteers and all that stuff. And so I, I made it into progressions. Of course, 25 years of Girl Scout helped me to put this together, that progression. And we talk about the human brain, about development of like certain stages in your life. So that's why I feel like, okay, for free and you're a student, you're adult, and then, you know, you're ready to whatever that venture you have. That's when you, and the money kind of goes along with it. And for me, I don't do for hourly. It's membership. So it's like, whatever you need is unlimited. And so for me, I can't spread myself too thin because I'm hoping to have
00:57:46
Speaker
people that works for me or freelancer that doing the same thing that we could earn that money. And that's why this social entrepreneurship is a challenge for me, but I'm willing to tackle it. That's what live helping Lao is all about. And you don't have to be Lao It's like, if you're my friends, my allies, we could do whatever we want. It's just a conversation starter of my name, of my business. Who knows what Lao Hebla could be is depending on the people that that's like, hmm, I want to be a part of that. I want to be part of that. How could we work together to get what we want as far as having the money to support our lives and then at the same time impact?
00:58:31
Speaker
you know, South and others. So that's a big assignment. I know. That's a big goal. And that's why people are like, Oh, man, she's going crazy. That's never gonna happen. You know, I feel that you are on the right track, you're you have a goal set, and you're gonna see it. And whatever way, right? If If you know it's not gonna work, you're gonna pivot to another section. But the thing I learned is entrepreneurs are crazy. We work hours that doesn't even make sense or what's always on our mind that I'm not alone, that I'm not the only, had to think that when I'm doing this, I may be alone because no one's gonna see it the way I see it, my volunteer or me helping the community. But it is like, look at as when you said assignment,
00:59:21
Speaker
my assignment or my purpose in life is to guide and help others in the direction that not in way in way that I had made mistakes but to be able to go and continue to grow and the social entrepreneurship that you speak of and I want to acknowledge you and I'm inspired by how you want to take what you were doing before volunteering what you've learned for 25 years there you are doing this for our community any community that I feel is very empowering for a lot of not only women because we need to step up more and be able to voice. But I love that the membership is able to not set a price on
01:00:04
Speaker
assignment is being charged as my, this is a membership you come in, we all work together for a cause or a movement that, that in turn, what you're doing now can be replicated and taught to my community. So not allow helping allow what you're doing, we then can incorporate it to any of the other communities. And so you have something there. Like I could take it to my community and now we all come together as an ally from all over to have a reunion conference of different diverse communities coming together. And here you are, you are the visionary. And I had the same discussion with a gentleman last night. He said that, you know, Linda?
01:00:50
Speaker
I'm a visionary, but I never get to execute it because I have all these projects going on. And I said, I actually can help you kind of tone that down. I said, I know what you're thinking because I'm the same way. I have so many things I want to do, but what is your real focus and where you want to see that vision going? So we broke it down last night. In simple words because I don't think he got to that yet. He goes Linda. I really didn't really put anything together yet I just thought about this so I said, okay great. So let's start with this and I shared that with them and he said, okay Okay, I got this okay this let's see what's gonna happen and I can see that he will be a great person in our
01:01:35
Speaker
If you need to interview him now and see if he fits your with you as an inner working on sustainability efforts for the community and oh my gosh. But I was listening to him and sharing what he wanted to do and it aligned with me already because that's what I'm doing here at home and we're just talking about it some more and bringing the entrepreneur into the business, adult business and organization where
01:02:07
Speaker
We are also help funding your mission and getting all the businesses together as you are the CEO, you're the visionary and how to execute it is with a team of people who have all these experiences and expertise and come together and have meetings and then you know it's going to be beautiful. I just, I already see it. I'm already sitting in my chair. He's sitting in his chair. You're sitting in your chair right now thinking We have this. We can't do it alone. We need help. Yeah. And if you see my directory in my, what I came up with by research and so far what I, a year now into this is that basically I want to do
01:02:54
Speaker
an app where you go Lao Helping Lao and see all those, all those subjects expert being not just expert, but founders and CEO of that subject. If that's all Phil of from being from, from going to business all the way to vocations. I mean, you cover every single thing that people could be in their life. any career that's why I put my objective is career exploration because Lao Helping Lao is a playground of experiencing of what it is and there's no there's no like oh my god you're stupid oh you know hey you know what do it you do what you fail you do something else that's very exploration and for the development part is those people I know what I want
01:03:43
Speaker
This is the skill, the skill I have. And like you said, let's come to, let's have a summit to develop it more. So that's, that's the key, the objective, like overall. And then of course I have the second one, which is the history, the language and culture.
Bridging Generations and Preserving Culture
01:03:59
Speaker
And you know, um, that is just when for myself, my journey, when people ask me, Oh, you're from Laos. Oh, tell me a little bit more about Laos. You know what I mean? So I want to make sure that I'm saying it correctly. And this is mainly for my children and my grandchildren, you know, where grandma come from. So that's why I put that component there. So either you're a Cameroon, you're a Hmong, whatever that is, you know, have that, have that living authentically and be confident of who you are. And I know we've been shunned for so many years, but, but no, we're going to be proud of that.
01:04:38
Speaker
And then thirdly is bridging the gap between the youth and the elder. Of course, we just talk about with the bridger of the younger generation and the older generation. It's a big task, but those are What, and I know that everybody fits that if they choose to be a part of the part of Lao helping Lao you know what I mean? So there's no discrimination at all. And there's allies in there. So for me to say that it's all, all the Lao no, you know, but, but, but I need to let that go. And look at, I met you and then it's a start of, of a beautiful relationship where.
01:05:24
Speaker
We have a common goal and it's like, how are we going to do it? Let's put our skills together. And then, you know, Hey, if, if other people connect with us, then we get more people in the movement and whatever it is that we're in a partner with. And, and, and I think that that's what I envision, um, Lao Helping Helping Lao you know, all along is that it's just, uh, personally, you have to know who you are. for you to be able to share it with somebody else. And that's just the basic concept. And it's not any division between that or anything like that. Because I just need to know my stuff to tell you if you ask me about love. It's like, let me get back to you. You know?
01:06:21
Speaker
Why is it Laotian? And why are people saying Lao? Oh, you want to, oh, I got that, I got that explanation. You know, is that, is that, because I don't know if you have that question to me, but my, in my explanation on that is that in, in, in Lao, you, could you speak Lao a little bit? Oh no.
01:06:46
Speaker
That's good. That's wonderful. Okay. perfect perfect vocabulary and that's one that's one thing is I that you always for me I don't want to teach them slang you know like you know all the slang thing you know it's like my children don't want but you know of course they're gonna get somewhere else but but for me I'm just trying to do my best but doi is good Linda very good vocabulary but okay here's this Okay. You asked me or not. I'm just going to tell you. Okay. Lao helping Lao. Okay. In Lao, there's no such thing as Lao Shin. Okay. In the Lao language, we say helping call Lao, Lao,
01:07:31
Speaker
Lao could be a lot of multi-ethnic group, right? Lao Mun. I had to learn all the ethnic in Lao. That's my assignment to learn all that. And I'm glad I learned, I'm meeting you, so I'm gonna learn more about how you see things about race. But so Lao Heping Lao is that for me, I want our Lao community, and then people would say, no, you're America, you're Lao Ocean. But you think about it, there's, you know, Thailand. When they mention who they are, they're just Thai. There's no Thai Asian. Or Thai Ocean.
01:08:12
Speaker
right? It's just Thai. But I know the French ones like easy word like American, Laotian, you know, and to determine that is the people, you know, but helping Koun Lao is that I'm speaking Lao but using helping because in Lao we don't have I-N-G or E-D, it's always present. You know that, right? So, helping is actually, it's a foreign word, but Lao and Lao Helping Lao is we actually speaking like, like spaniel, you know, like a,
01:08:54
Speaker
I'm Spanish. No, you're not Spanish, you know, but Español is like, you know, right? Like that's how they speak, you know, and Lao is how we speak, how we call ourselves, you know? So it's not exclusion of like, oh, because you say you Lao, you're just Lao, and then all the Hmong and all the Taitam and all the ethnic things don't feel belong, you know, but that's another unity that I'm working at as well, is that, I hope it could allow, you know what I mean? Whatever you, in the lines of your history or heritage, and for me, it comes down to, could you speak Lao? That's the bottom line, because I went to France, this is, I know I'm off tangent,
01:09:42
Speaker
My, my, my other, my, my other families are in from, uh, they got sponsored to France and they're about like close to a hundred people. Right. Cause I went to visit and, and I did a family tree. So Linda, I went there. The younger generation, they, we just look at each other. We don't know how to speak Lao. We don't know how to speak French. We don't know how to speak English. I mean, so for me, I've got so, I'm like, huh. So how do we, how do we speak to the people that's all over the world as coming from Laos or have a heritage from Laos? The only thing that I come up with is if you could relearn Laos again, because that's when what we connect us.
01:10:34
Speaker
is the language because we are not speaking the same language all the world. So that's the reason why, for me, is confident in calling Lao, helping Lao, even the backlash about Lao ocean and all that stuff. It's like, I'm done with people writing our story. is like labeling us, you know, you're Laotian, or when I came to Michigan, no, you're Hmong, you Hmong. And it's like, I don't even know what Hmong was when I was 23 years old, just got out of college. That's how not educated we are, you know? And so, no, I'm not Hmong.
01:11:18
Speaker
And I'm not Laotian. I could be Lao. I'm Lao, you know? So that's the reason why, is that if you don't know the Lao language, Lao is how we say it in Lao. My kids are Khun Lao, but they're not educated on the Lao tradition and our culture or language. Mm-hmm. And I think when it's up there, like my children, they're born here in the United States. When they go to college and there's no Laos, they go to club, they have to belong to Chinese club, Filipino club. So they're labeled Philippine because they don't have a club. And then their friend talk to their family in Korean or in Chinese, and they're like, how come I can't speak Laos?
01:12:10
Speaker
There's gotta be a, you know what I mean? It's just, they, I want them to learn so many years ago, but they didn't get it. Just like I would talk about the human development, right? The brain. Now that they're out there, it's like, oh, that's why mom wants to teach me, but that's why my oldest, my older daughter was in the sale program, which is a center of law study. She went to law so she, she could read and write more than me. That's how determined she was to to know the Lao language. So she know how to read and write. And I'm just like, dang, I can't I can't make excuses anymore. You know, even my children is
01:12:55
Speaker
because you know I always make excuses for anyways so that's like for me that's how that's how we all could could communicate with around the world and if you could speak Lao and try to speak Lao in my eyes you're Lao
01:13:13
Speaker
you know so so you could be you could be you know commune or whatever i'm still learning uh southeast asian you know if you speak Lao and you want to know Lao Lao i'm gonna you know what i'm saying you're Lao you're Lao i don't care what other people say when you're Lao you're called Lao you know so that's that's how i know the the community is having excuses again for us not to work together either the flag the politics the language that we use you know just excuses and i'm done with that i'm done i'm seeing a lot more of that excuse being presented on facebook and i'm not sure if of all things say facebook coming out and it's i think it was the people that i recently have been
01:14:07
Speaker
coming together with four in Texas. And that's when I got to learn more.
Healing Community and Cultivating Trust
01:14:13
Speaker
There are the elder generation who are very sensitive to that topic and doesn't want to talk about it, don't want to see it or hear it, or even the music coming up with the new generation singing that can be offensive and to bring back those trauma that they went through. And I think that for our generation to help Lao and other communities to bridge that with the younger generation.
01:14:46
Speaker
Yeah, because they just know what's out there. Sometimes there's manipulation of what they want them to learn. And that's why it's scary. And that's why I want Lao to be allowed to be that place where, you know what, I'm fax-checking everything, you know? Even though I'm learning and, you know, I'm pretty sure there's gonna be fax-checking along the way. I mean, it's not gonna be perfect. I just have that in my mind that it's not like, be all and done all, you know, be all, what's that word? Be all and, be all and done all. What's that American word? Like, it's not the way it is, you know what I mean? It could change, it evolve.
01:15:29
Speaker
Beyaw and Danaw, how you say that? Beyaw. You don't know what I'm talking about. Sorry. But it's like, but you understand how I'm like, this is it. You know, like how sometimes some people say like, this is, that's it. Like, there's not, it's a fact, you know? Well, the, Yeah, but the world was flat before. So I know that Lao could be wrong. But at this point, I want to get to the point where I want to get the people that I know that we could learn together and have a solid place for the youth to say, hey, I could trust that company.
01:16:14
Speaker
Yeah. So, so it's just a lot of expectation on myself, but you know, I just don't want regrets because, you know, we're not any younger for sharing how you feel. Vulnerability and also openly the transparency comes through how you. you mentor others as well. Please share in this episode, we're healing together and we're also celebrating World Refugee Day, June 20th. We are doing this podcast interview on June 19. So for the National Immigrant Heritage Month. With Lao helping Lao with me, thank you for being here. So for our listeners who are listening, how can they support these efforts?
01:16:59
Speaker
My website is up and running and we are adding more every day. And if you could check out www.laohelpinglao.com and see where you fit in. And if you start from there and if resonate with you, it's a free consultation. It's, it doesn't cost anything. for you to have an inquiries or what's the next step. So that's how you could find out more is through our website. And I could be finding LinkedIn, knee dairy there of my experience and
01:17:44
Speaker
if you want to know more about me and what I did, my experience, all that stuff. I've been working very hard on LinkedIn since I got laid off. And that's how I got where I am now to kind of look at who I am, where I'm going to go. And so LinkedIn has been helping me to move forward and kind of surprise of the skills that I have that I'm shy about but I am putting that into use instead of put it aside and and you know don't be shy about
01:18:23
Speaker
what you've been through and what skills you have, because it's very vital for you to use it. And who knows, maybe somebody will find that inspiration from what you're doing. So it's always yourself. And then if you're healthy and confident, and then you're able to help others. So it's just that. that process. Know yourself, discover yourself and then hoping that you can share that and leave a legacy for the younger generation. To determine your next steps. As written near the end of this podcast, I want to know do you have any questions for me? For sure.
Exploration of Heritage and Identity
01:19:11
Speaker
Actually, I do, Linda. One of the burning questions since I met you was, you know, your nationality and all that stuff, because I get the same thing. And that's, that's, that's what it led me to create my work Lao helping Helping Lao So I want to know, um, where are you at your stages when somebody say? Great question. And ask you where you're from. People who have asked me where am I from because of my looks, actually, they can't guess where I'm from. I can blend in and also be of many diverse ethnic backgrounds. Actually been told I look Cambodian because of my color, my skin, and also Hispanic.
01:20:00
Speaker
and from the islands. So I am Cambodian. I actually was born in Utah in a white predominant school. And I did not grow up with any Cambodians in my school or in the general area of Sandy, Utah. And it was until I reached high school that I actually met somehow in the school. When people ask me, even in school, Where am I from? I really don't know. And that was my mission to, I call it mission because, you know, it's, I don't know. And my mom who spoke really limited English, I had to learn English from school and then go home and talk English to her. And she also was like, you know, you're Cambodian, you need to speak this language so that you don't lose it.
01:20:54
Speaker
What I learned is I don't know how to speak Cambodian. I was told that I spoke more of a, you know, a different tone. So when I spoke it in public or two people responded back, they would laugh back at me saying that it sounded funny. Being in a predominant white school, I might, I could say second language is American, even now. Yeah, English, sorry. It is English and it was when I was about 15. I went to a youth at risk program and I was the secretary behind the desk and learning about other ethnicity because
01:21:41
Speaker
people who were in or used at risk that needed help like they came from a background that wasn't very safe and nurturing. I learned about where they came from what you know what brought them here why were they in this program and so that's where I started learning more about other ethnicity and I get more of, you know, where are you from? What do you do? And I did not know. And so I made it to be where I was going to learn. And so that road started when I moved in, moved to Oregon. And I met, oh my gosh, more agents than I can actually, you know, know. That's including like Philippines. I never knew Philippines existed. And I did not know, even Mo Min,
01:22:30
Speaker
I, that group, I did not know until maybe the last 10 years. So, and I'm almost 50. So it's kind of like, you know, these other communities exist, but it was through the nonprofit organizations of Apano, which is here located in Portland, Oregon, Asian American Pacific Islander of Oregon, where I started to learn about in other diverse groups, including immigrants and refugee, and how people came from their homeland, and how their families left to survive, or they came here because they wanted a better life, or to make a living. That's when I didn't understand why
01:23:20
Speaker
How did they come here? And that's when I started asking my mom, how did we come here? And sponsorship was one of the things that she touched based on and was very lucky to have come during that time or else, you know, we would not know where we would be. I don't know if I would be here to be here speaking to you. So the whole culture of Cambodia, I don't, I only knew like music when I went with my mom. And when I go to the temple, I still did not know why we had to do certain things, you know, like that bod, you know, with the crayon and the incense and all that.
01:23:57
Speaker
That's why I wanted to learn. And I learned that through actually my ex-husband's family. And a lot of it was growing up, going to the temple, making the Lao food. I actually could say I cooked better Lao food than Keboya food because my mom came here at 19 and she did not know how to make certain foods. She knew more of the stir-fry and soups, but That was where my love for food came, food culture and the language. I would say Cambodian language is very challenging to learn because with the dialect and with the pronunciation and the rolling of the R's, Lao language is easier for me to pick up and learn.
01:24:46
Speaker
And so when I listen to, what I also want to learn is, you know, there's many different dialects of Lao language. where I'm learning this from my ex-husband's side, and I come here and I hear this other dialect that sound recognized. And so then I thought, oh, how come you speak this different Lao? Where are you from? And that's where I learned, like, you know, there's the Kamaisaran, where they have the Cambodian Lao language, which is a little bit a different dialect. Kamai and Lao. And then their accent is different. So that's when I started getting more curious.
01:25:21
Speaker
And I love the Lao food. It's true. I hope I answered your question.
01:25:27
Speaker
Yes, yes. Because I was just wondering if somebody asked because I get that all the time because I guess I look different. Because I rather have my answer being Lao than being Chinese. You know, because they assume that we're Chinese and nothing wrong with that. But, you know, when somebody come up like our Chinese or what part China you're from, you know, it's kind of a teachable moment instead of being mad.
01:26:02
Speaker
And so I just have to have answer for it because a lot of time when I'm not, I don't have the patient, I just say, hey, I'm from Michigan. No, where are you from? No, really, where are you from? I'm from Michigan. What are you I grew up in New York and they get mad. And I'm just like, what's wrong with an answer either? You know? What's wrong with it? What's wrong with you from Utah? You were born from Utah, you know? Questioning, questioning, they never stop questioning when I give them that I'm from Michigan or New York. That's when I say, you know what?
01:26:44
Speaker
I need to know my. Depending on who's asking you and people are not accepting. I do. I do get that. And I think is from either depending on how we feel and how we answer it because it's a different question too. Right. And I get. Where are you from? I said, hmm. What do you mean? I've asked that because it could be ethnicity. And, you know, this is a good way to also educate our listeners is, you know, what is the question that we the questions that we get most asked is where you're from. And this could be different ethnic backgrounds that's asking this question. And I usually kind of try different ways of answering it. I even say I'm from Utah.
01:27:33
Speaker
Oh, I live in Oregon. Oh, okay. And they're fine with that answer. Then you have this, Oh, no, no, what is your, uh, your, your background? What are you, where are you from? From, I said, um, I'm born here. You talk, you know, so like your, I guess what I'm doing is it's not to be, um, stubborn or not, I guess irritated about the question or not knowing what they're coming from is trying different answers and see what what people are reacting to and if it sticks and then the other one is no where are you from oh I'm Cambodian oh okay you look um like you're you're not Cambodian I would never guess that I would thought you were Hawaiian and I grew up looking Hawaiian um or Samoan that's in Utah so depending what state you're from there's a lot of um because it's a Mormon state and a lot of the Samoans the Tongans the Palis they come from um
01:28:30
Speaker
from Hawaii and they're also in that state so I can fit in well and I've always known and thought this that I blend in and I can um like a chameleon like I can just blend in with anybody or look like them when I was around the Asian community I looked Hispanic and I got called Guam so I even get called you look um tropical not tropical I could be anything. And so I would try that. I would see what people are really, you know, either have fun with it or we can, or I even said, I came from my mom and dad.
01:29:12
Speaker
I said that too before. They're like, well, I know that. I like that. You know, just depending who's asking me.
01:29:24
Speaker
Oh gosh, yeah.
01:29:27
Speaker
Well, thank you so much for being candid about that. For me, I love learning, learning about myself and others. And especially when we are neighbors in our heritage and come to find out we borrow each other's language and all that stuff that find me more curious about the relationship and to even help further what we have learned. So I'm excited about that.
01:30:06
Speaker
especially um because actually Cambodian is I think it's the first commodity could be referred to as cool and or the language Khmer or some people pronounce it Khmer which I actually probably learned how to pronounce too and we need to come on see right yeah okay okay okay yeah just like la la lotion Okay, so for me, I think you're the first person that I have talked this long that you're from Cambodia, I swear. So I am, I'm privileged. And even you say like, I got to learn more, it doesn't matter. But you're acknowledging it.
01:30:58
Speaker
even the shulksabai, you know, it's like, I love that word, shulksabai. Did I say that right? You know, I just love, you know, if, if you could touch, you know, even people hit somebody ball, you know, it's like, wow, you know, you understand me, you know, just, just saying the language it touches, it touches that person when you take the time to learn the language, you know, so I appreciate
01:31:30
Speaker
you and also our relationship and what's ahead of us. I think it's exciting. I want to leave also my signature question for my guesses. Are you ready?
01:31:44
Speaker
No. Oh, I guess I haven't talked already. I mean, for five hours, I don't know if I talked about it. All right. So what empowering message or piece of advice would you like to leave with our listeners as they navigate their own journeys, facing challenges and rising above them?
01:32:04
Speaker
Hmm.
01:32:05
Speaker
I think what I learned the most is that we talk to be, empower ourself and be strong and, you know, take a stand. But if you're unhealthy and listening to that, your unhealthy self, you're gonna create more problem to you and the surrounding, who you're surrounding with or the environment. The lesson learned for me is to better to get healthy and be the best version of yourself so you can listen to you more and trust you more.
01:32:54
Speaker
And then you start the healing process, no matter what stages you're on. For me, I'm still healing the age 52. Some people think that, oh, I'm too old for that or, or it's too late for me. You know, I did my mistake, but I just want you listening to know is like, please learn how to forgive yourself and that you are able to correct whatever that is. You feel that you need to forgive yourself.
01:33:24
Speaker
to the path that's more healthy for you. And that is to surround yourself with the people that could help you to be healthy and to see that maybe your old self was, and you're listening to your unhealthy self. And for those people that are listening that, you know, I, I'm always healthy. Uh, I don't understand what you're talking about, Ny I just hope that you know that you could be somebody that somebody could look up to and for you to show up for those people that can't see and don't forget about us. Don't forget about the people that don't have the voice, but you do.
01:34:09
Speaker
and you have the privilege and all the whatever it is that is labeled of that because everybody's different and everybody's in a given situation different and you just have to know where where you are and what you're able to do and just recognize where you're at in the stage. Thank you so much. Yeah, that is healthy. That's the end of it. That's the most important because as you said, I'm thinking about all the people that are my friends that needs to look at that being healthy. So make yourself healthy, so you can be able to start healing. And that way you're able to move forward, take the next step
01:34:52
Speaker
And then we, yeah, and we have, they need some, you know, a company like yours and mine to know that that's a place for them to go because there's no place for them to go, even though they have that feeling. You know, like when I do have, like, I have nowhere to turn. And that's why I created because I'm not going to make excuses. for or because there's no such thing as that. So I have to be whatever the stigma of us asking for counseling or asking for help.
01:35:25
Speaker
What it was that stigma is to say that's more healthy to do that than not. So if you or someone you know is struggling with trauma, reach out to a mental health professionals. Our support networks can make a significant difference in the healing journey. So calling all listeners, your voice matters in our peer-medicine community. Share your stories, thoughts, or questions related to overcoming challenges, healing from trauma, or any topics discussed in our episodes. Let's build a supportive space together.