The CDP // Ep32: What Is the Meaning of Life?

Transcript

Speaker: Alright, you guys are all legends.

Speaker: Thank you so much for joining us.

Speaker: This is episode number 32 of the Clever Dummies podcast.

Speaker: I am Lockie, as always, joined by the one and only, the best thing that had come out of St.

Speaker: Mary's since the $5 schooner.

Speaker: And Nick, how are you going, big fella?

Speaker: I'm good.

Speaker: I'm good, man.

Speaker: I'm good.

Speaker: It's good to be here.

Speaker: It's a beautiful day to be alive.

Speaker: Truly is a beautiful day.

Speaker: Tops of 2090 degrees, you know, wouldn't be anywhere else.

Speaker: To be completely honest, this is the 54th time I'm actually saying that because we did have some technical difficulties today.

Speaker: As we always do on this podcast.

Speaker: So, Clabber Dummies podcast, also known as the Clabber Dummies podcast with technical difficulties.

Speaker: Yeah, keep your eyes or ears out for a rebrand or restructure of what we're doing.

Speaker: But no, at the end of the day, my...

Speaker: You know, as I like to say, Picasso's first painting wasn't picture perfect.

Speaker: You know, the Mona Lisa wasn't created in a day, so it's all leaps and bounds, yes or no's, but we do have a very, very, and I mean very special guest.

Speaker: One of our first guests, might have actually been the first guest in the infancy stage of the Clever Dummies podcast nearly two years ago, was Terrence, our good mate.

Speaker: And, you know, as the girls, the girls dream of him and the guys want to be him.

Speaker: Terrence, how are you going, matey?

Speaker: Hey, hey, hey.

Speaker: What it do?

Speaker: What it do?

Speaker: Good to be back.

Speaker: Thanks for having me, boys.

Speaker: Highly requested, I will add, we do get regular emails from our large client base.

Speaker: Oftentimes, abuse and non-constructive criticisms are involved.

Speaker: But a common theme is when is that Asian fellow coming back?

Speaker: So it is so good to talk to you, brother.

Speaker: And obviously, you know, we can talk about the pandemic all day long.

Speaker: We probably will because, you know, what else is there to talk about?

Speaker: But you've recently moved out on your own as a big call.

Speaker: I mean, you're nearly 25.

Speaker: You are 25 years of age and obviously make the big step.

Speaker: How has that sort of process been, what, maybe a month in now or so?

Speaker: Yeah, it's been pretty good.

Speaker: I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm 25, but I identify as 22, so it doesn't really matter.

Speaker: Yeah, that's right.

Speaker: And I identify as vaccinated, so that's continuing.

Speaker: No, but all jokes aside, it's been pretty good.

Speaker: You know, it's been something I wanted to do ever since I moved back from Melbourne in the start of 2020.

Speaker: But obviously how everything panned out, it just made it impossible to move out.

Speaker: So nonetheless, I'm here now and I'm enjoying it.

Speaker: It's good.

Speaker: It's everything I imagined.

Speaker: The only thing missing is the fact that I can't socialize or have anyone over or I can't leave.

Speaker: I'll get arrested if I leave my driveway.

Speaker: So

Speaker: Apart from that, it's pretty good and I'm loving it, man.

Speaker: So have we looked into the single social bubble at all?

Speaker: Do you have any understanding of what that bullshit is?

Speaker: I think they call it a single social bubble where you're allowed to elect one person to encroach on your restricted area, if you will.

Speaker: Yeah, that's true.

Speaker: But, I mean, if you ask me, the only kind of person I'd want to be coming here is someone that I'm going to smash.

Speaker: And if that's not the case, then might as well not.

Speaker: Yeah, that's right.

Speaker: And I mean, you know, a few JDs later in a watermelon with a mask, like we can't win them all.

Speaker: So anyway, that was a story that Nick told me before the show.

Speaker: I shall not continue on that stage.

Speaker: I mean, it's all good.

Speaker: Like, it's all good when you see like your mate and his missus and stuff.

Speaker: But then like when you...

Speaker: When you see your mate and his voluptuous, scrumptious cheeks, all of a sudden I'm gay, bro.

Speaker: What the fuck?

Speaker: I believe what Terrence is trying to present is the dilemma that we all often face.

Speaker: It's when you find two girls, they often just kiss themselves and kiss each other.

Speaker: It's all good.

Speaker: They kiss each other on the cheeks.

Speaker: But, you know, just like they also use the same example.

Speaker: It's like, you know, one drink doesn't make you an alcoholic.

Speaker: You know, one cigarette doesn't make you a smoker, you know.

Speaker: Then why?

Speaker: Why or why?

Speaker: Why does one BBC all of a sudden make you, you know, gay or whatever?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It's a legitimate question.

Speaker: The question is, so, you know, when I just want to, you know, when I just want to clap my boys' voluptuous cheeks once, this is not a good start to the podcast, is it?

Speaker: And as Katy Perry once said, I've kissed a girl and I liked it.

Speaker: So we'll continue on, you know, we were speaking.

Speaker: Look, I do agree with that.

Speaker: But as you know, as Picasso's first painting wasn't perfect, you know.

Speaker: Anyway, moving on.

Speaker: I was just trying to copy what you said earlier.

Speaker: And you tried really hard and I do appreciate that.

Speaker: So obviously we're moving in regards to this question that I will forget if I don't ask it immediately.

Speaker: So in one of our many takes before this final recording that we're proceeding with tonight, I was sort of speaking a little bit just about some of the things that come up when you're moving out for the first time.

Speaker: Obviously, there's the generic ones, you know, doing your own washing, sorting your own food, that sort of thing, making sure you wake up on time, right.

Speaker: But what was what's sort of one of the things that you didn't suspect to either be an issue or one of the things you didn't suspect to miss about, you know, living at home or living with other people?

Speaker: I don't know.

Speaker: It's hard to really point out anything, like, because everything is a bit of – the whole thing is just a giant learning process for me because, I mean, I moved out to Melbourne for two years, you know, before this, and, you know, I learned so much there.

Speaker: But the thing is, is, like, I was still with people, so I didn't really feel like I was necessarily –

Speaker: alone at any point.

Speaker: And like, and I always had someone there to kind of like, remind me of things or I would just never really think it wouldn't feel like I was kind of, I wouldn't, it wouldn't feel like I'd moved out because I'd always have people around me.

Speaker: So like, you know, little things around the house that you might need would always just be there the same as it would if I was living with my parents, because, you know, there was just someone else there to, to maybe think of that.

Speaker: But in this scenario where I'm on my own, and I kind of have to do everything on my

Speaker: or literally on my own.

Speaker: you know, if I forget or if it doesn't get done, then it doesn't get done.

Speaker: And then I realized after and I'm like, oh, damn, I should have done that.

Speaker: So I don't know.

Speaker: There's not really one thing that I could tell you right now that kind of caught me by surprise because a lot of it was expected.

Speaker: And like I knew what I was getting myself into.

Speaker: And yeah, I mean, I wanted this and I know it's going to like help me grow a lot and become more sort of independent.

Speaker: I mean, I'm cooking a lot more.

Speaker: I'm trying to, I made it a challenge for myself to

Speaker: to get better at cooking because, you know, up until recently, I've only been able to make two minute or not even two minute, like migoring noodles or like egg.

Speaker: Pretty proud of that.

Speaker: But, you know, I got to expand it a bit.

Speaker: So, yeah, nah.

Speaker: Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker: Everything's a bit of a learning process here.

Speaker: So I honestly couldn't tell you one thing.

Speaker: I remember when we first moved out, Terence, to Melbourne, right, was just realizing the fact that you have to buy toilet paper alone.

Speaker: That was a big deal.

Speaker: I was like, God damn, I thought that shit just showed up in the house.

Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: it sounds so simple, but it is so true because you just don't think about that stuff, you know?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: You go, okay, this just shows up.

Speaker: But, you know, clearly it doesn't just show up.

Speaker: So it's fairly interesting learning those little lessons about, you know, life and whatnot.

Speaker: Yeah, 100%.

Speaker: Lachlan, what about you when you first moved out?

Speaker: How was it for you?

Speaker: Like I might have missed the tail end of it, but I know before you were talking about company, right?

Speaker: Like obviously there's the stuff that we do and that sort of thing that we've

Speaker: I'm guessing Terrence was obviously the company or at least having that person around and

Speaker: like I moved out of home, it was about 2015.

Speaker: So it was sort of me and Charlotte going out for about a year.

Speaker: Charlotte was really proactive and she was the one pushing the move because she hated my family.

Speaker: And I'm just joking, we like, we've got a great relationship.

Speaker: No, but basically from when she was 18, she moved from the Southern Highlands or Boweral where she grew up and she started going to uni in Sydney, right?

Speaker: So she became very adept early on, like as soon as she finished high school, living outside of home.

Speaker: So when we first started going out, we were living there for a while and she came to live with my family for about four or five months.

Speaker: And it was one of those things where it was, and I didn't realize it.

Speaker: And she first suggested, hey, did you want to go and get our own place?

Speaker: And at that time, like I still have a great relationship with my family.

Speaker: And I was sort of like, no, not really.

Speaker: Like I haven't really thought about it.

Speaker: But within a few days, it just felt like the right thing to do right.

Speaker: So we went and did it.

Speaker: It turned out really good.

Speaker: And obviously, I moved in with her and I wasn't just moving out by myself.

Speaker: So I had the company.

Speaker: You know, I had someone that actually cared about me, lived with me even better.

Speaker: And I had a cook too.

Speaker: So shout out to Charlotte, just joking.

Speaker: But the thing that I noticed straight away was like oftentimes I was like –

Speaker: When I didn't, so when I didn't know what to do during the day or I had some downtime, I would just bounce off other people.

Speaker: So I'd go hang out with my brother or my sister or my dad, or I'd go, we had a dog at home.

Speaker: So I'd go and hang out with them and I'd sort of fill my time until the next event came up.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: And so when I was living with her and we were sort of on our own, I had to start to fill that time, you know, even more productively over different things.

Speaker: So it was, it's kind of, you don't waste time when you live with other people, but you've kind of just got this easy outlet that, hey, you know, if you're doing something, you can just move along, come back later.

Speaker: So it actually helped me at the time I was at uni and it helped me study a little bit more because it was like, hey, what else am I going to do?

Speaker: Basically, since I moved out of home, I pretty much don't watch TV anymore.

Speaker: Maybe that was that bonding time that we would have as a family or whatever else, but I stopped watching TV and I started to adult a little bit more.

Speaker: I certainly miss my mum's cookie and I still do.

Speaker: I miss seeing my family all the time, but...

Speaker: I think the fact that you grow so quickly because of that reason you start to develop your own habits and personalities outside of your family, that's what I enjoyed the most about moving out of home.

Speaker: And thankfully I haven't had to go back since because everything's worked out really well.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: But it was interesting because it's like that's part of your growth and development as a person.

Speaker: You've got to be self-sufficient, not just in regards to your finances and everything else, but you've also got to be able to fill your time productively and correctively.

Speaker: And for a lot of people, that's work.

Speaker: So they come home and they don't feel like they need to move out of home because like they work full time and they do all this sort of thing.

Speaker: When you actually have some time to yourself, you're like, wow, this is like, this is actually real adulting.

Speaker: It's not just making big decisions.

Speaker: It's actually what do I do with my time?

Speaker: So it was, yeah, it was very much something I couldn't realize until or couldn't understand until I did it.

Speaker: But I was like, I loved it.

Speaker: Like it just made me, I could just see myself grow and move on so quickly.

Speaker: Yeah, and I think I feel the exact same way.

Speaker: Like I completely agree with everything you've just said there because, you know, that's exactly what I'm experiencing now.

Speaker: And, you know, that's,

Speaker: A big reason why, you know, I wanted to make this move is because although I'd already, like I mentioned before, moved out prior to this, I was always with people.

Speaker: And this time I really wanted to kind of take that leap and that risk, I guess you could say, to be on my own because I knew there was there's nothing like I read this quote once and I couldn't.

Speaker: I couldn't tell you like word for word what it was, but I know I remember what it was basically talking about.

Speaker: And it basically kind of relates a lot to what we're talking about now.

Speaker: And it was saying like, you know, when you're in your, you know, your like, you could say 18 to maybe late 20s or something like that around that age.

Speaker: it's probably the best time for you to kind of move out and just like explore or just move to another city or another state or it doesn't have to be extreme to go to another country or whatever, but just kind of like put yourself in an unfamiliar environment, because obviously up until then you'd be used to just being at home and everything's already there for you and just prepared.

Speaker: So by throwing yourself into that kind of environment, you just really grow naturally.

Speaker: So much more than you would, I'd say, if you were just always living with people or with your parents.

Speaker: And I think that's so important.

Speaker: And just quickly to touch on that, there's a really interesting little conversation that Jordan Peterson had as well.

Speaker: And I know a lot of people aren't very huge fans of him, but there's a little interesting thing he says.

Speaker: Call those motherfuckers out.

Speaker: They're terrorists.

Speaker: Call those motherfuckers out, right?

Speaker: Social terrorists.

Speaker: So, you know, he talks about failing to launch, right?

Speaker: So he talks about as a young adult, right?

Speaker: When you move out.

Speaker: My problem is actually launching too early.

Speaker: Exactly, right?

Speaker: I can't relate.

Speaker: In many cases, that's not what she said.

Speaker: Sorry.

Speaker: So, and, and it's interesting because when he talks about it, and that, that is true when you think about it, because when you fail to launch, you know, you are essentially, that's what you're doing.

Speaker: You kind of, you know, staying in the protection of your little parents bubble and whatnot.

Speaker: And so,

Speaker: Yeah, it's kind of, yeah, ends up, you know, putting you in that position where you stand.

Speaker: We've had this sort of conversation before where like we've, because you and I, like we obviously have a group of friends, but you and I specifically are the ones that, you know, moved to Melbourne, right?

Speaker: And, you know, coming back and, you know, catching up with the boys and all the people that we knew here in Sydney, it was like we got into a conversation with one of our mates, Riaz.

Speaker: Shout out if you're listening.

Speaker: You're probably not, but, you know, shout out to you anyway.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: You know, we were talking about like just growing and how time flies and all this kind of stuff.

Speaker: And, you know, he made a he made a comment and he was like, you know, he maybe he's just not like as mature or he's he's just not like he's just a bit slow and he hasn't grown enough or anything like that.

Speaker: I'm.

Speaker: It was weird because it was like he's the exact same age as us.

Speaker: You know, we've gone to school, we've experienced all these things together and we've basically grown up.

Speaker: We've all grown up together and we were just trying to wonder, well, why does he feel like he's behind or he's not like he's not there with us as far as like, you know, growing and just progression in life?

Speaker: And, you know, after discussion, Anik and I came down to one pretty logical reason is because him and I, we moved out and we met so many people and we experienced so many things.

Speaker: And

Speaker: That's why I say, as I mentioned before, getting out there and moving out and just throwing yourself in a different environment forces you to grow and to adapt to that environment and those situations that come along with it.

Speaker: I think that's why he probably felt that maybe he wasn't at a stage in his life that maybe we felt like we were because...

Speaker: Although we're the same age and we grew up together because for that two years, that period that we were gone, we had grown so much in that two years that it almost felt like we'd lived, you know, it almost felt like we was like just so much older than this guy when really we weren't.

Speaker: And yeah, I just wanted to point that out because I thought that was so true.

Speaker: And it just made a lot of sense when we came to that solution, that, you know, that reason.

Speaker: I agree.

Speaker: I agree.

Speaker: Absolutely.

Speaker: I think there is, there's few levels to this as well.

Speaker: And it's easy to, easy to just go, oh, because we moved out as well.

Speaker: I think there's a couple of reasons because moving out is one part of it, but it's actually essentially starting a system or a flow on things of this self-growth journey or launching into something that is, you know, new and exciting.

Speaker: I mean, even, I know this is, for example, moving back, right?

Speaker: And then this is,

Speaker: This may be a little touchy subject of a touchy subject.

Speaker: However, you know, for example, let me give me a small example, right?

Speaker: My mentality or like how I, for example, treated or thought, not necessarily treated, how I thought,

Speaker: thought about certain certain you know groups of people right had changed because i spent a fair bit of time in melbourne right because you know different location the culture is different different priorities and the way of life is moved different so all those things when you take into account you go okay like so it does change because you know you are no longer uh you're no longer doing the exact same thing you were doing before now you're doing something different because you have to adapt and you know humans are adaptable so it ends up

Speaker: you end up actually, you know, being something different.

Speaker: So you're not the same person.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And, you know, that's, that's why it's just so important to get yourself out there and, and never, you know, never become too content with how your life is, you know, you always want to be working towards something or, you know, doing different things, because I think that's the only way to really, to really grow as a person.

Speaker: And,

Speaker: You know, I think that's the only way.

Speaker: I mean, like, that's probably, I mean, you can go really deep into this sort of topic and then ask, like, oh, what's the meaning of life and all this kind of stuff.

Speaker: I can tell you what the meaning of life is.

Speaker: Well, what's your definition?

Speaker: You can certainly try.

Speaker: What are your guys' definition of what the meaning of life is?

Speaker: Well, let's backtrack before we go there.

Speaker: So that's interesting.

Speaker: When Riaz was having that conversation with you, was there a sense of dissatisfaction with his life or was he disappointed that he hadn't moved out yet?

Speaker: Or was he more curious of why you guys did and he hadn't?

Speaker: I think maybe there was a part of him that kind of felt like a bit sad because he was like, you know, he might've just felt like left behind.

Speaker: And, you know, I guess that's a normal thing.

Speaker: I mean, if it was me, I would feel the same way.

Speaker: I'd be a little sad if my mates, if I saw my mates after like two years and like they almost seemed like different people just because they'd grown so much.

Speaker: And yeah, I'd feel a little bit sad.

Speaker: So I would assume he'd probably feel a little that way as well.

Speaker: But,

Speaker: I think it was all coming from a good place.

Speaker: And I guess, you know, yeah, he just in the moment just felt like maybe he just didn't do enough or maybe he made some wrong decisions or anything like that.

Speaker: I could be wrong, but that's just how I'm reading the whole situation.

Speaker: Yeah, I get you.

Speaker: And sometimes that's the case, right?

Speaker: Like you need that motivation externally to do something.

Speaker: Sometimes it's an internal thing, like as I said before, without –

Speaker: without Charlotte suggesting that at that time, I definitely wouldn't want to move it out at that stage.

Speaker: I've always been a bit of a natural sort of selection.

Speaker: I've always been a risk taker.

Speaker: So more than likely, I probably would have moved with you boys to Melbourne.

Speaker: I would have done something like that if I hadn't met Charlotte.

Speaker: And obviously, that's hearsay.

Speaker: So he might be that type of person that feels secure by staying at home.

Speaker: Obviously, financially, it's a good call because you're likely paying far less in terms of bills and rent and that sort of thing.

Speaker: But it's only a cause for concern if he can say that if he's wanting to do it, but he's worried about doing it.

Speaker: And then obviously, then it's like, hey, don't be worried about it because it's like an experience that we all kind of need to undertake.

Speaker: But

Speaker: Like if you're 30 and you're still living at home because the right opportunity hasn't come up, like there's totally nothing wrong with that, you know what I mean?

Speaker: And like most definitely when you meet people, it's sort of like a natural inkling to think, oh, how could I live with that person or that person is looking for someone to move in with and those sort of things happen.

Speaker: But like if he sort of just wants to do it because someone else has done it and it's like, oh, wow,

Speaker: It's like, don't stress about it, bro.

Speaker: Like it'll come, the time will come.

Speaker: And then when the time does come for you to move, like you'll realize what it's all about.

Speaker: And we all kind of made mistakes.

Speaker: Like I've lived,

Speaker: I think the house I'm living at now is the fourth house I've lived at since I moved out.

Speaker: It's in about six years.

Speaker: So like moving sucks.

Speaker: So like when you want to move, you want to really move, right?

Speaker: So yeah, that's a good call on your end though.

Speaker: Like it's nice when we're starting to get to that age where our personal experience is actually starting to mean something, right?

Speaker: Like we're not kids anymore.

Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker: Sorry, you go on, Omic.

Speaker: I was just going to say that is such a nice and such an interesting thing to hear.

Speaker: It kind of makes you feel semi nostalgic, even though this is a present.

Speaker: But, you know, it's an interesting feeling to hear that someone say that about our generation or our age of people, age group of people.

Speaker: Go on, Terence.

Speaker: I was just going to say another thing is like,

Speaker: you know, as we know, time flies and, you know, we can often get caught up in all these things that maybe don't really matter so much in the grand scheme of things.

Speaker: And, you know, especially now that, you know, the world we're living in, it's just everything's, it's just crazy.

Speaker: It's a crazy world we're living in nowadays.

Speaker: And, you know, I mentioned this to you guys just before this, and I was saying how, like, I feel like

Speaker: A lot of people are, well, I mean, I'd hope, I'd hope so, but I'd hope that a lot of people take this whole lockdown thing and isolation thing a lot more seriously and like, sorry, I just, I hope people can come out of this and start to appreciate, you know, human interaction and just the simple things in life because we've been so restricted of all that kind of stuff for,

Speaker: many months now.

Speaker: And it's, you know, even if it's two months or one month or a two week lockdown type of thing, you know, they're, they're always, they're just, they've been so constant and it's, there's never been like a moment where I could feel like, okay, we're, we're, we're on the right track now.

Speaker: Everything's getting better because before you know it, you're back into it again.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: That's a great point.

Speaker: And, and like,

Speaker: I think it's also highlighted the importance of being able to find something that has great importance to you that is less and less predicated on the external world, right?

Speaker: Like out of our control, our careers and our personal growth is all good.

Speaker: Like these things are all really great.

Speaker: But –

Speaker: Even though they might provide a sense of satisfaction, a sense of achievement, without that, we might not be able to move on to the next stage of our life.

Speaker: These are all things that we're doing.

Speaker: Real contentment, real happiness, real everything else is based on what we're achieving personally, the demons that we're fighting every day and beating ourselves.

Speaker: the changes we're making in our life, the generational personality traits that we're using, avoiding and moving on from, like all these things, that's really the most important thing.

Speaker: Like you could be a successful person on paper but still not be happy at all.

Speaker: So I'm hoping that's for me what I'm trying to extract from every day and it's really difficult to shift when you're, you know, the basis of –

Speaker: like for a long time, the basis of my happiness was predicated off the things that I achieved, right?

Speaker: Like, and still is.

Speaker: I haven't achieved fucking nothing, so I can say as much as I want, right?

Speaker: But like, I'm starting to realize that what I'm...

Speaker: the opinion about myself and other people that I formulate is much more important than the things that I do.

Speaker: So I think apart from also realigning that and making sure we're sort of narrow path, it's also about understanding that the things that are outside of our control or the things that exist when we're not around, like the show must go on.

Speaker: If I get fired tomorrow, this business is still going to be here.

Speaker: It's an important part of my life, but it can't define you because you're just going to be subject to things you can't control.

Speaker: um yeah that's a very good point because it's very easy to think that the word is wrapped around you and it is really egotistical in a way but uh you know it's human nature to think that it's like a survival mechanism you know like it's not it's yeah it can be egotistical for sure it's very natural though yeah it's our human

Speaker: DNA.

Speaker: It is absolutely very natural.

Speaker: So it's quite interesting because that happens very often and that which is the same thing that gets you away from focusing on the things that matter, you know, where there's relationships and stuff because there's a little common occurrence that I hear between and I hear Catch Myself saying those as well.

Speaker: So

Speaker: this is just kind of talking in regards to relationships, right, is often, let's say if, you know, someone I, you know, h ad a close relationship with and now they don't, I haven't seen them put in as much effort or whatnot, right?

Speaker: I build this, instantly create this wall of like, you know,

Speaker: of dread and like you know a little anger towards them and like because i'm like yo you know well i made the effort and like did this did that and like you know i want to cut them out of my life and whatnot so that's kind of because those thought patterns start in your head and you know what to be honest part of it is probably correct because you want to cut out those cut out all the junk that you don't need and people that are not adding value to it but to be honest

Speaker: Maybe because because it's the fact is we don't know what's going on people's life, right?

Speaker: Maybe someone wants to keep you around, but, you know, wants you around.

Speaker: But just the fact that, like, you know, a they've been probably they probably just forgot or maybe they probably shouldn't forget.

Speaker: But let's say they did forget or like, you know, they've been busy life is.

Speaker: all these things happen, you know, it's been past couple of years, been challenging times.

Speaker: So all these challenges come up.

Speaker: You don't know how people are thinking because like, for example, I, I'd recently been struggling to talk to people.

Speaker: Like I don't want to reply to people.

Speaker: I don't want to take calls just because, you know, most of one of the main reason is because I've got nothing new to share with people and I've got like, you know, I just don't know what to say.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: So it's interesting as well.

Speaker: So you see that you don't really want to talk to people and it's just like the same thing we just, you know, do.

Speaker: So,

Speaker: it's interesting that that same thing comes in because we're so self-central we end up like you know building these walls where there's career and whatnot you look at career you go either one or the other way one you hate your job and you you know resent your bosses and stuff otherwise it's like well you know this company will close if i don't show up tomorrow so all those things are egocentric but i think they are all well within our control to control those so we can focus on the things that matter whether that's keeping your friendship healthy and you know

Speaker: going you know keeping your adventures alive and all those things because as soon as those balances fall out of fallout and uh you know that's when you start to really lose the you know lose that quality of life yeah so depression is such a real thing and it manifests itself in people's lives in a very different way and i know for me personally and

Speaker: most research points to three or four different things when someone is either clinically or at least diagnosed in some form of aggression and like distancing themselves and not being, you know, we can all have days where we're not our normal selves, right?

Speaker: But like if you normally like talking to people and then you don't want to talk to people, like you might actually be depressed and it's nothing to –

Speaker: It's nothing to feel bad about.

Speaker: It's just something to realize that, hey, like we actually have this thing that, you know, I don't feel great at the moment.

Speaker: It's not really my fault.

Speaker: It's the fact that I can't do what I normally do and everything else and it's just all part of that growth and it all is what it is.

Speaker: So, you know, you've got mad people around you and we always have –

Speaker: a small group sometimes, but it's really great small group of people around us who can give us a kick in the butt or cheer us up when we need it.

Speaker: So, yeah, that's what's so great.

Speaker: And that's what's so hard about like the divisiveness of the world we live in at the moment, right?

Speaker: Like we're just – people are just so willing to sever those ties that maybe they developed –

Speaker: for so many years based off, you know, a point of view or based off how people should or shouldn't act.

Speaker: And that's what's so disheartening about, you know, disheartening about the way people are interacting with themselves, with each other at the moment.

Speaker: It's like,

Speaker: And, you know, it's obviously based, like, we don't have a lot of time to do what we normally do.

Speaker: So we're forced to consume more media or whatever it is.

Speaker: Like, it's just hard because it's like, man, at the end of the day, we're all human beings getting through the damn thing together.

Speaker: And it sort of breaks my heart when people start to unravel and start to, yeah,

Speaker: You feel like a sense of hostility from people and not knowing how to answer something is actually really, it's not a bad thing.

Speaker: Like sometimes that is the answer and then you can delve deeper and actually get into the way you're feeling and everything else.

Speaker: So, yeah, I don't ever feel like you shouldn't talk to me because you don't have anything to say.

Speaker: Like, fuck, if we did that, mate, we would have done about four podcasts and it'd be all she writes.

Speaker: It is what it is.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Absolutely.

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: I agree.

Speaker: I think one of the things I'm saying, I don't mean like I literally don't want to talk to people.

Speaker: It's not that, you know, I'm always really excited to do this podcast because I'm like, fuck something to do.

Speaker: But I'm talking more in terms of like, you know, wanting to just socialize in general and like, you know, just randomly call people and all those stuff that I used to do before that I'm finding difficult because, you know, there's nothing new.

Speaker: Because, you know, it's someone I was talking to before.

Speaker: I was someone saying, because I was talking to actually, I was talking to a girl a couple of weeks ago.

Speaker: And you don't want to feel like you're fucking people.

Speaker: That's exactly right.

Speaker: That's another thing as well.

Speaker: You know, I was talking to this girl before we went into lockdown, right?

Speaker: And we just continued chatting.

Speaker: We had planned on meeting up and whatnot, right?

Speaker: But what happened was I realized she was like, oh, I want to do a video call.

Speaker: Sorry to cut you off.

Speaker: How much did she charge?

Speaker: I could tell you that after the podcast, if that's okay.

Speaker: Just a $15 Netflix subscription, all right?

Speaker: yeah that's right so you know one of the things i one of the things i realized was like uh i didn't want to just go talk to her because i was just like what she's like she normally asked the question i'm like so what did you get up to uh absolutely nothing like same thing as yesterday you know so after a while you just go yeah fuck this you know just this conversation is going nowhere kind of stuff you know yeah or you just get good at answering the same question over and over again

Speaker: A good way, so I've found a good way to answer the question, not have it asked again, is you actually break your day down.

Speaker: So I'd say, oh, it was sort of 8 o'clock.

Speaker: I woke up.

Speaker: I went to work from 9 to 5.

Speaker: Freaking traffic was terrible.

Speaker: I got home at about 9.30.

Speaker: I didn't like literally be like that asshole that does that and then bang, they won't ask you anymore.

Speaker: Good to know.

Speaker: I mean, sometimes we actually do more than we think.

Speaker: It's just like, shit, I just go, I don't know.

Speaker: Like what makes us think that we did nothing?

Speaker: I mean, obviously if you sit down on the couch and you don't do anything, then we tend to think, all right, I did nothing.

Speaker: But maybe if it's work, it's work.

Speaker: Absolutely.

Speaker: We don't want to talk about it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It's probably that more than anything.

Speaker: It's true.

Speaker: It's true.

Speaker: It's true.

Speaker: Hey, I've got a little, I mean, it's not a game, but I've got this little thing for you.

Speaker: Ask Terrence those questions as well.

Speaker: We've,

Speaker: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Speaker: I'm getting to those questions.

Speaker: I've got another questions.

Speaker: I have those questions that open in front of me.

Speaker: So one of the things I said, we'll do this game.

Speaker: Terence, you know about this, right?

Speaker: So it's called area of balances, right?

Speaker: I think you remember.

Speaker: Yeah, I remember.

Speaker: So life, essentially, if you think about it, it's divided into three main categories, right?

Speaker: so you got experience so that's all the things that you experience in life and then you got growth like you know how you want to growth and progress and all those things and last one is contribution so those are the three main aspects of life that you have uh in you know uh in in your living life that you've had you know so this they also include you know the psychological stuff and the physical and all those stuff right and

Speaker: Within those areas, within those categories, we've got areas, right?

Speaker: So for example, under experiences, we've got love, friendship, adventure, environment.

Speaker: Under growth, we've got health and fitness, intelligent, intellectual life skills, spiritual life, you know, well-being and, you know, well-being, sorry, wealth building, well-being, quality of life and career.

Speaker: Contribution, sorry, contribution goes under contribution,

Speaker: goes under career and creative life, family, community and life role as you do.

Speaker: Like, you know, so those are the things.

Speaker: So they are the areas of balance, right?

Speaker: So what I'm going to do is, right, I'll ask you guys these questions, right?

Speaker: And this is going to be quick fire, right?

Speaker: And do not take too long to think about it.

Speaker: And you can answer one after each other.

Speaker: And we'll see what the answers we get, right?

Speaker: Terrence, you're happy to go first, bro.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: So basically you rate the number out of 10, right?

Speaker: Don't think about too much and I'm going to ask them in a random order.

Speaker: So you don't fix it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So between one to 10, how you feel about your current situation with that particular area, right?

Speaker: Love and relationship.

Speaker: Somewhere between six and nine.

Speaker: No, I just had to say that.

Speaker: Definitely a 10, brother.

Speaker: 10?

Speaker: 10.

Speaker: Awesome.

Speaker: So, all right.

Speaker: Friendship?

Speaker: Eight.

Speaker: Seven.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Plus three.

Speaker: Ten.

Speaker: Plus three.

Speaker: Ten?

Speaker: Plus you two.

Speaker: You're going with ten?

Speaker: No, no.

Speaker: I'll go.

Speaker: Sometimes like you almost have to trust your gut instinct.

Speaker: Yeah, let's go.

Speaker: I'll go eight.

Speaker: Eight's a pretty good number.

Speaker: Eight?

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Adventure.

Speaker: Six?

Speaker: Six.

Speaker: Lock?

Speaker: Predicated on lockdown closing.

Speaker: Six.

Speaker: Sorry, I'm cheating.

Speaker: Environment?

Speaker: Three.

Speaker: So like your surroundings, you mean?

Speaker: Yeah, clarify that one in the previous one because it's adventure and I'm not really doing anything.

Speaker: Yeah, yeah.

Speaker: So that's adventure.

Speaker: Environment is the way your living conditions, how you're living, how you're feeling about... Okay, so ask me the question again.

Speaker: Environment.

Speaker: Five.

Speaker: Eight and a half.

Speaker: Health and fitness.

Speaker: Six.

Speaker: Six.

Speaker: Eight and a half.

Speaker: Lock.

Speaker: Intellectual life.

Speaker: So that's the kind of things that you've been doing to, you know, like basically read stuff, listen to intelligent podcasts, things that get you thinking.

Speaker: Seven and a half.

Speaker: Eleven.

Speaker: I cheated.

Speaker: Your life must be amazing right now.

Speaker: It's good, bro.

Speaker: Spiritual life.

Speaker: We'll talk about it later.

Speaker: Spiritual life.

Speaker: Spiritual life.

Speaker: I'd say about a 6.5.

Speaker: Lock.

Speaker: So I'm going to go eight and a half, but the difference between eight and a half and 10 is a long way.

Speaker: So it's a long journey, but eight and a half for sure.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: After that, we'll talk about well-being, general well-being.

Speaker: About a six again.

Speaker: Seven.

Speaker: Career?

Speaker: About a seven and a half.

Speaker: Uh, eight and a half point seven.

Speaker: No, just three.

Speaker: When you said eight and a half, that was already.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I know how to point.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Uh, creative life things that you're doing to, you know, how do you feel about your creativity and why don't you answer last?

Speaker: I'm interested to hear some of your responses.

Speaker: Okay, sounds good.

Speaker: Do you want to do a couple?

Speaker: Don't do all of them.

Speaker: Maybe do three or four that maybe jumped out at you.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Well, I actually did this just before.

Speaker: I'll give you some of the answers, right?

Speaker: So I can tell the answers.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: So for creative, I actually did five.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I had five.

Speaker: Family life.

Speaker: Are you asking the question?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Family life, 6.8.

Speaker: We're getting crazy now.

Speaker: Seven.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: And last but not least, community.

Speaker: Are you playing your role in community?

Speaker: Are you feeling part of the community?

Speaker: Once again, lucky number six.

Speaker: Yeah, I'll go 10 on that one.

Speaker: Sweet.

Speaker: Wow, that's a major difference.

Speaker: Look, you're living the life.

Speaker: Honestly, bro, I mean, at the end of the day, you know, living in Coffs Harbour, the stress and the fact that we're, and I'm lucky enough to even be operating sort of a similar job in and outside of lockdown.

Speaker: But what happens when you live in a place like Coffs or anywhere else where the population is a lot smaller, you start to not feel like you're caught up in the day-to-day grind and endless,

Speaker: and you sort of are able to take a step back and you're able to alleviate some of those stresses that kind of inhibits you from doing the things that you want to do and you can use a certain amount of calmness basically and you're able to sort of figure out the things that are most important in life.

Speaker: So, I mean, I can't rate the move enough.

Speaker: Like, yeah, it loosely saved my life.

Speaker: So, yeah, I'm so happy.

Speaker: That's awesome.

Speaker: If you had asked me that shit two years ago, man, like it was a different story.

Speaker: So, yeah, it's been – it's good, man.

Speaker: Very good.

Speaker: but I can still be a way better dad, like, massively.

Speaker: The reason I ask this, right, to ask that question and kind of, you know, we're just talking about this as well, right?

Speaker: There's a couple of reasons.

Speaker: The first one was this is a good measurement of, like, how are you viewing your life and the way you view your life is probably the way how happy you are in general in terms of speaking at any given moment, right?

Speaker: Obviously, lockdown is probably inhibiting a lot of hours.

Speaker: It's almost like a false negative a little bit, eh?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Yeah, false negative.

Speaker: So it's almost a false negative, right?

Speaker: But it's interesting enough.

Speaker: So I've got my three numbers, right?

Speaker: So of course, I do this every six months, right?

Speaker: So kind of see to keep a little tally of where I'm at, right?

Speaker: So this is quite interesting that I found.

Speaker: So I've got my initial base mark of what it was, the baseline.

Speaker: This is from 2019, April, right?

Speaker: So my numbers were my love and relationship was eight.

Speaker: Friendship was eight.

Speaker: Adventure was seven.

Speaker: Environment was seven.

Speaker: Health and fitness was eight.

Speaker: Intellectual life, eight.

Speaker: Skills, nine.

Speaker: Spiritual life, three.

Speaker: So that was kind of lacking.

Speaker: Wealth building, five.

Speaker: Sorry, well-being five.

Speaker: Quality of life three.

Speaker: I don't know why I thought my quality of life was so shit at the time.

Speaker: Yeah, it doesn't sort of add up, does it?

Speaker: Yeah, career eight, creative life six, family life six, community three, community three.

Speaker: So that was my baseline.

Speaker: And that was like total number of like, you know, I was sitting at 90 altogether added up.

Speaker: 2020, so in mid of 2020, so August.

Speaker: So early August, it was love and relationship three, friendship six.

Speaker: So all those just fell down.

Speaker: And this year, I've just realized the only thing that has really boosted up, I still dropped on those numbers.

Speaker: And I feel like this is that kind of indication of extended...

Speaker: lockdowns apart from the only thing that's really kind of lifted for me was essentially family life because I moved in yeah moved back home and kind of like more career wealth building those kind of things that lifted more in growth not where my experience has still kind of like lack in that area because those experience literally relies on you experiencing thing at the moment we can't

Speaker: So I think that's interesting.

Speaker: So yeah, it was fairly interesting because I couldn't integrate it.

Speaker: The reason I want to bring this up, you guys should definitely give us a go and kind of keep a tally of how your life looks because, you know, whatever area is lacking, you can go, Oh, I need to work on this, you know?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: So, and then that kind of keeps you in balance.

Speaker: So it's a really interesting little exercise.

Speaker: It's a good way.

Speaker: It's like very measurable way.

Speaker: It's like, you can see it exactly what's going on.

Speaker: And I remember when it was probably the back end.

Speaker: So it was nearly three years ago.

Speaker: I was seeing a psychologist at the moment and she,

Speaker: gave me a very similar sort of quiz and answer and it was based off like you don't overanalyze it because when you start to think, oh, it's because I'm doing this, because I'm doing that, like just what's the gut feeling because you know, like you know these sort of things without even really having to delve deep and you can say, oh, you know, it's a seven but normally it's a nine.

Speaker: It's like, well, is it a seven or not?

Speaker: Is there anything from that that jumps out to you, Tez?

Speaker: I mean, well, clearly I'm not in the – I don't feel like I'm –

Speaker: in the best sort of position as far as where I am in my life right now.

Speaker: There's been so many changes that I've kind of come across for the last little bit.

Speaker: And I feel like I'm struggling to find any sort of rhythm in any aspect of my life, you know, from health and fitness, love and relationships, family and

Speaker: community and all those things that you mentioned, I think I'm finding, yeah, a bit of difficulty in finding a nice balance or, you know, just in general, like just having a bit of a routine.

Speaker: Like I feel like I'm all over the place and...

Speaker: You know, I'm kind of struggling with like a lot of different things in my life and all those things have been heightened because, as you said, we're in this lockdown, so it's just made everything worse.

Speaker: And I know for sure that like I've done this test because Anik actually got me to do it before.

Speaker: And I can think back to that time and I already know off the top of my head that I was doing a lot better compared to the numbers that I just gave you now.

Speaker: I've actually got the answers for that.

Speaker: Do you want me to read out your previous numbers?

Speaker: Okay, good.

Speaker: So last time, this was in April 2019.

Speaker: This is going to shock him.

Speaker: This is going to shock him.

Speaker: April 2019, you rated love and relationship at four.

Speaker: Today, you rated at four.

Speaker: So no move there.

Speaker: So that's not too bad, right?

Speaker: Friendship, you rated at five.

Speaker: Today, you rated at eight.

Speaker: Adventure, you rated at five.

Speaker: And today, you rated at six.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Environment, you rated at five.

Speaker: Today, you rated at three.

Speaker: So environment, that's fair enough, COVID-19, right?

Speaker: Health and fitness, you rated at three.

Speaker: Today, you rated at five.

Speaker: Intellectual life, you rated at five.

Speaker: Today, you rated at six.

Speaker: Skills, you rated at six.

Speaker: Today, you rated at 7.5.

Speaker: Career, you rated at four.

Speaker: Today, you rated at 7.5.

Speaker: uh creative life you rated at two today you rated at six and community a family you rated at six today you rated at six and uh community life you rated at 7.5 oh sorry six and last time you rated at two you've actually your life is actually improved yeah and i think like i think it's because when i gave you those numbers now i'm basing it off not necessarily like the the situation that i'm in in this present moment but

Speaker: more so where I am in my life at this stage.

Speaker: And I think obviously from that point up until now, I've definitely made some improvements in those areas of my life.

Speaker: But I think it's just right now, the reason why maybe some of those are

Speaker: a bit lower than, you know, how I scored them previously is just because of the unfortunate situation that we're in nowadays.

Speaker: So everything just seems a bit more harder.

Speaker: Yeah, for sure.

Speaker: And Lachlan, that kind of proves what you said about being a false negative, right?

Speaker: So this is really interesting because it really is just essentially proving that some of it is false negative.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And I think our... So, like, our comparison oftentimes goes into a situation...

Speaker: We don't think we think about either externally the way other people are doing or the way that we potentially should be doing.

Speaker: But I think a good way to answer these questions is almost like, how am I doing compared, you know, how is my adventure compared to...

Speaker: a year ago how is my social compared to a year ago how is my relationships compared to a year ago like and that's the idea yeah that's the idea of doing this exercise so that's the whole reason totally um and the feelings the feeling of like that discomfort of like feeling like we're not doing enough or we're not like um like we just feel very stressed like that we're not achieving the what we should want to or we're just struggling a lot like that's um

Speaker: that is so like what we need to do.

Speaker: Like we need to have that almost.

Speaker: And it's like, really, it sucks that it has to be this way, but we almost need to have that sense of like that we're swimming and then that we're like our heads nearly going underwater, like that sense of like, oh my gosh, like this is almost unbearable.

Speaker: That's like really, that's the best thing for personal growth and sort of realigning where we need to position like our priorities and that sort of thing.

Speaker: So like it is freaking hard and it sucks that it's that hard, but if it's not that hard, then,

Speaker: it's actually really a good thing that it's happening now and not later on in life.

Speaker: Like midlife crisis has happened for a reason.

Speaker: It's because I don't think people go through enough of those sort of testing moments.

Speaker: So yeah, that was a really good exercise, I reckon.

Speaker: Yeah, definitely.

Speaker: I think it's worth doing.

Speaker: I've tried keeping score.

Speaker: And because like you said, you know, you can compare yourself and this is one way you can actually compare it to yourself.

Speaker: All right, Terence, we've got beautiful questions for you, right?

Speaker: These ones are a bit more fun, we promise.

Speaker: This one's a bit more fun.

Speaker: And then we'll get to a conclusion of this podcast where we talk about how we shouldn't waste time, which is essentially kind of leading all this to, right?

Speaker: So we've got a little fun questions.

Speaker: Meaning of life.

Speaker: Answer those questions.

Speaker: Five easy questions, right?

Speaker: And then a bonus question, right?

Speaker: Yeah, look at that.

Speaker: Look out, right?

Speaker: So question number one, you can answer this as deep as you like or surface level as you like.

Speaker: Question number one, how do you take your coffee?

Speaker: Definitely not black.

Speaker: I don't think I can handle that.

Speaker: I have to add some creamer into it.

Speaker: Look, I mean, I wish I could say that I take it black, but in every single instance that I've tried it, it's just, it's too overpowering for me.

Speaker: I'll tell you what though, once you go black,

Speaker: You can't go back, baby.

Speaker: We're not all built for that.

Speaker: Some of us are built different, so I appreciate that.

Speaker: Fair enough, fair enough.

Speaker: Question number two.

Speaker: And we're getting into the warmer months.

Speaker: And a Starbucks...

Speaker: iced long black with a little bit of sugar-free caramel, mate.

Speaker: We don't have Starbucks up here.

Speaker: Maybe if Starbucks came up here, I'd be scoring a few more tens in that category.

Speaker: I'd tell you that much, boys.

Speaker: My man.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Number two.

Speaker: What's your thought on the flat earth theory?

Speaker: Bullshit.

Speaker: Anyone in their right mind will fucking know that it's not flat.

Speaker: It's just, it's not.

Speaker: You know, you look at the science of things and like, oh, you're going to be like, oh, what's a science, Terrence?

Speaker: Well, I can't tell you off the top of my head what the science is.

Speaker: But just from fucking what you see on the internet after doing research and not just literally believing everything you see, you know, it's pretty easy to realize that it's not flat.

Speaker: It's not.

Speaker: And you can talk about like the dimensions and all that kind of stuff.

Speaker: And yeah, it's not flat.

Speaker: In a nutshell, that's my answer.

Speaker: It's not flat.

Speaker: Okay, sounds good.

Speaker: You know what's funny?

Speaker: I always talk about this because I always find this so funny.

Speaker: In the documentary that Flat Earth Theorists made themselves and then they did this test.

Speaker: Yeah, so good.

Speaker: They organized this test to see if the Earth was flat and they themselves found it wasn't flat so they ended the documentary.

Speaker: I'm surprised I didn't cut that thing out of it.

Speaker: Yeah, I know.

Speaker: It's hilarious.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: What is the most embarrassing memory you have?

Speaker: Embarrassing memory?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Could be a childhood thing.

Speaker: Could be, you know, you're a young fella.

Speaker: Something that jumps out.

Speaker: Honestly, like I have a love and hate relationship with these kinds of questions because it's like, I know I have something that's super embarrassing, but I just can't think of it anymore.

Speaker: Like it's only embarrassing in that moment.

Speaker: And then like later on, I just forget about it.

Speaker: So that's why I can never recall those moments, but I just know that, let me tell you this, there's this one time and I can't tell you word for word just because I literally can't remember, but I know it's got to do with like, um,

Speaker: sending messages to like girls and whatnot and accidentally saying something really stupid.

Speaker: And you just feel that real cringe kind of like, fuck, why did I do that?

Speaker: That's going to be so awkward.

Speaker: You know, that kind of feeling.

Speaker: um i've definitely sent a few of those kind of messages in my in my lifetime and i think those are super embarrassing when they happen so i'd say something don't worry i've been there for those sometimes you read the you read the message wrong like or that's the hard part about like the word is like you don't understand the context the way it was written and i'm like oh man i'm onto something here and then it's completely like how the hell did you get there i'm like ah fuck

Speaker: yeah that happens that has happened to me so many times it's no funny i'm like oh what did they say and i've actually completely unread something my mind's just unread how about that time when you you lined up uh like a what was it like a three like it was like two girls and and us two we were gonna meet up with them yeah

Speaker: and then we're gonna go to moorpark uh golf range driving around yeah yeah it was a double day yeah it was a double day that anik had lined up and then they last minute said they were not gonna come um and then like you know when if you're anyone in the dating scene you know that it's all the game and you know it's people are just playing the game so

Speaker: You know, and Nick and I were thinking about like, oh, yeah, well, just don't reply or say this, you know, so that we can finish.

Speaker: And then I accidentally sent a sad face emoji.

Speaker: In that moment, we were like, fuck, why did we do that?

Speaker: Because it makes us feel so beta.

Speaker: Like, it made us feel, like, so insignificant in that moment because it was, like, we were these two guys who were going to meet up with these girls, and they said no, and then we just, like, fucking sent a sad face emoji, like, we were butt-hurt dudes.

Speaker: Like, it was just such a...

Speaker: bad feeling it was so awkward and it was just so embarrassing and we're like and then we just shut we just literally powered his phone off and like fuck this you know what's funny though now that i think about i don't even give a shit but at the moment i wanted to throw my phone out the window that's what i'm saying like that's why i forget a lot of these things is because like in the moment it's so like so big and it's just like far out and then you end up just forgetting it which is the best part because you don't have to relive that moment to

Speaker: uh, thanks for making me relive that, relive that, you know, obviously anyone who's there.

Speaker: Oh, sorry to cut you off.

Speaker: So it's really interesting about that.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: So like, and it's not the exact same situation, but like, say if you have a really traumatic experience, right?

Speaker: Like, and you can never forget this for the rest of your life because it's like, wow, it's like it leaves an imprint on me.

Speaker: So there's actually, they've done research on cortisone levels in your body.

Speaker: And if your cortisol levels are really high, like some, and adrenaline, some people black out or they go crazy.

Speaker: If it's a really stressful, um,

Speaker: moment or whatever else, but they found that there's a certain level, right?

Speaker: And I can't remember exactly what it is, but for easy understanding, zero to a hundred, right?

Speaker: From 65 to a hundred cortisol, you're going to remember this thing from like 50 to 35, where you sort of feel like a little bit of stress or a little bit of like my heart racing.

Speaker: Sometimes that perfect amount of cortisol has an impact on our nervous system and like the way it goes up to our brain and affects our memory.

Speaker: It's actually designed that way because

Speaker: Think about if you're like back in the long times ago when you're like in, you know, fight or flight modes where you're doing stuff to survive, there's certain things that you need to remember because next time, you know, if I deal with a beast or an animal, I need to remember what it's like.

Speaker: And there's other things where it's like, I don't need to remember that because it doesn't have an impact on me.

Speaker: that we're able to measure certain cortisol levels or adrenaline in conjunction with cortisol.

Speaker: And when it's really low or at a certain point, you actually don't have a way of remembering it because it hasn't been important to our nervous system.

Speaker: Like it's fucking crazy, bro.

Speaker: No wonder I never remembered those lectures at uni.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly right.

Speaker: You get a little bit stressed because you're like, fuck, I don't know what I'm doing.

Speaker: And if he asks me a question, I'm going to get embarrassed.

Speaker: But then it's like, if you don't actually get the question asked to you, you actually don't give a shit.

Speaker: You know what I mean?

Speaker: Yeah, that's right.

Speaker: And I think that's one part I've noticed about me personally growing up is those things that I used to get affected by.

Speaker: I'm so badly as a kid, right?

Speaker: Like I would be so stressed out.

Speaker: Like, oh my gosh, like I'm so embarrassed.

Speaker: Now nothing happens.

Speaker: Like now it's like in order for me to remember something, it has to be like pretty bad.

Speaker: Like I'd probably shit my, like,

Speaker: I've tried to chuck a fart and then I've shit myself.

Speaker: Like that's a bad one.

Speaker: You know what I mean?

Speaker: Everything else, you just water off a duck's back.

Speaker: Yeah, exactly.

Speaker: It is.

Speaker: It is.

Speaker: What is she?

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Now I've got another one question.

Speaker: Terrence, ready?

Speaker: What is your, what is your most proudest moment in life?

Speaker: Or what are you most proud of in life?

Speaker: I think it's probably the mentality that I've kind of developed, which is like the, that, I mean, it's a bit of a meme, but, you know, the whole stay hard, David Goggins type of mentality.

Speaker: Like, as funny as it is, like, with all the memes around it, it's dead ass true, you know?

Speaker: Like, I've learned so much just from sort of,

Speaker: embodying that statement, you know, like having that dog mentality and staying hard.

Speaker: And it's just about like

Speaker: as another guy that I follow, Nick Bear, as he says, embracing the suck, you know, like in these difficult times, you know, just putting yourself in the most uncomfortable situations and really, really challenging yourself and seeing just what you're capable of.

Speaker: Because a lot of the time, you know, a lot of us are capable of doing so much, but we just don't know because we never put ourselves in the position to ever find out.

Speaker: And so that's why I think,

Speaker: I love that, like about me.

Speaker: And the fact that I think that's what I'm most proud about is because I think without that, I would have never achieved a lot of the things that I have achieved now.

Speaker: And, you know, it's, yeah, I definitely, I definitely think that's my proudest, proudest thing about myself because, yeah, I don't know where I would be if I didn't kind of bring that in.

Speaker: That's beautiful.

Speaker: So essentially, yeah, mental toughness.

Speaker: You know, I appreciate that.

Speaker: That's awesome.

Speaker: Good answer.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Next question.

Speaker: What do you want to improve on or remove from your life in the next 10 years?

Speaker: What do I want to improve on?

Speaker: I think, you know, another thing.

Speaker: Or what do you want to add to your life or what do you, yeah, essentially.

Speaker: It's an open-ended question.

Speaker: I need a final message, that's for sure.

Speaker: Just because, you know, I need to get my parents off my back.

Speaker: And not just that, you know, I'm at a point in my life where I wouldn't mind cuddling up with someone, you know, that's not your mate.

Speaker: So, you know, one of the boys.

Speaker: Hey, hey, hey.

Speaker: So why or why when I want to grab my mates are voluptuous.

Speaker: And you continue on.

Speaker: And wait, sorry, say the question again.

Speaker: I just forgot.

Speaker: What do you want to improve on or add in your life or remove from your life in the next 10 years?

Speaker: Oh, yeah.

Speaker: So, yeah, I think the whole love and relationships for me personally, I think that's been an area where I've always tread lightly on or like been afraid of certain things.

Speaker: And yeah, so I could definitely use some improvements there.

Speaker: And also, I think cutting off people that don't add value to my life whatsoever.

Speaker: And, you know, I've taken steps towards that already by just simply unfollowing people that I literally don't interact with or just, yeah, bottom line, don't add any value to my life.

Speaker: Because it's like, what's the point of having them around if, you know, like they don't support you or they don't, they just literally

Speaker: they're just a waste of space, bro.

Speaker: So, you know, like it doesn't matter how I've met these people or, you know, I might've worked with them for a couple months or a year, or I might've met them through this person or that person.

Speaker: And in the moment we would have got along, which is why we kind of,

Speaker: connected through social media and all this kind of stuff.

Speaker: But at the end of the day, I asked myself a question.

Speaker: I was like, you know, do these people, are they going to be there in those times of need when I like am down on my knees begging for like, I don't know, I just need some saving.

Speaker: That's so deep.

Speaker: But you could cut that.

Speaker: That's so true.

Speaker: You could cut that piece of audio out of music.

Speaker: That's the name.

Speaker: That's actually, that's the name of the podcast, that right there, man.

Speaker: But no, yeah, I think cutting out all those people that I think won't add any value to my life because it's just, you know, I don't want to surround myself with that kind of stuff.

Speaker: And it brings another saying, like, you are who you surround yourself with, you know, like you're a product of your environment.

Speaker: So if I constantly have these, you know, and especially now that I'm always on my phone and...

Speaker: the whole digital, I work in that industry as well.

Speaker: So like I'm always seeing stuff on a screen.

Speaker: And if a lot of what I'm seeing on the screen is things that aren't adding value to my life, you know, then what's the point of even having it there?

Speaker: It's just junk, you know?

Speaker: So I think that's something that I'd also like to improve on is just removing people or things that don't add any value to my life whatsoever.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: As harsh as that sounds, I think it's so important because otherwise you're just going to be caught up in this.

Speaker: Oh, yeah, but like, you know, they're still nice and this, that.

Speaker: And sure, yeah, they probably are still nice.

Speaker: And if you see them on the street, they'll probably say hi and you might have a little conversation.

Speaker: But I mean, still for me, there isn't any reason for me to have them, you know, in that sort of circle, that immediate circle that I have around me.

Speaker: Yeah, you go through that experience of dealing with either a negative outcome or an experience that you have with them, a lack of viability, or you just have like this awakening moment when you realize they're not actually there for me, they're there for personal reasons or selfish reasons, and then

Speaker: but you only get that knowledge, wisdom, and understanding.

Speaker: That's why when I was young, my parents would tell me or my dad in particular would tell me to stop hanging out with this person.

Speaker: And I'll be like, why?

Speaker: You don't know them.

Speaker: It's like, yes, they do know them.

Speaker: For 40 years, he's been dealing with people like that.

Speaker: They're just a kid.

Speaker: Like, it's gems, bro.

Speaker: It's gems.

Speaker: The older we get, the more we turn into our parents.

Speaker: So, yeah, that's a good answer, bro.

Speaker: Yeah, good.

Speaker: At the end of the day, boys, as someone who may or may not have had a little bit of success with one or two relationships I've had,

Speaker: the most important thing, and it sounds really easy and obvious is to be yourself, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker: I don't, you know, be myself.

Speaker: That's great advice.

Speaker: But when you actually are truly being yourself, like the thoughts of like, or how is this person going to take this?

Speaker: Or do I have to say this or that don't actually come into your mind because you're just,

Speaker: you're being yourself in that situation, you're answering the questions right, like you're putting yourself out there in the right way.

Speaker: So if that person isn't reciprocating anything back at you that you'd like, it just means they're not the right person for you.

Speaker: So I think we always get caught up in trying to change who we think we should be to make that other person happy.

Speaker: And at the end of the day, even if you get that person in a year or so's time when you guys aren't compatible, it's because you weren't

Speaker: honest with yourselves at the start.

Speaker: And you're both two beautiful human beings.

Speaker: So you guys will get there and you'll get there in a big way.

Speaker: And the beautiful thing about being a little bit older when you find that person is things move so quickly within a year.

Speaker: Like your life is set.

Speaker: So it'll come, lads.

Speaker: It'll come.

Speaker: My man.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: So I've got another question.

Speaker: And actually, I've got two more.

Speaker: I'll go one more question before the bonus question.

Speaker: We've got a big question to count, eh?

Speaker: Just big questions to come, right?

Speaker: So this question is, and this is, you're going to have to answer this in a short, you're going to have to answer this in a quick fire way, right?

Speaker: I don't want you to think too much about it.

Speaker: I don't want you to drag this on.

Speaker: If you want it that way, hand over your gun then.

Speaker: You've got 60 seconds to answer this question and I'll tell you when you're reaching 50 seconds.

Speaker: Yes, sir.

Speaker: Where do you see yourself in the next 10 years?

Speaker: So we're talking about September 11, 2031.

Speaker: In the 10 years time today, where do you see yourself?

Speaker: What does your life look like?

Speaker: What does your life look like and who you are?

Speaker: Can we just quickly do some maths?

Speaker: How old will I be?

Speaker: in that year?

Speaker: How old will you be?

Speaker: So you're 25, you'll be 35.

Speaker: Fuck, 35.

Speaker: I'm 25 now, shit.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Your time starts now.

Speaker: I think career-wise to start, I see myself working for myself in some capacity.

Speaker: You know, I might still be working for an employer, but I think at that point, I want to have something that I've, for myself, that I've got going on aside from just working for someone.

Speaker: And hopefully that'll mean that I'm pretty financially stable and I'm

Speaker: good in that area.

Speaker: So that's, that's obviously a big and important thing there.

Speaker: Um,

Speaker: I would like to think that I would have somebody there with me as well, like a wife or a girlfriend.

Speaker: You've got 30 seconds left.

Speaker: So yeah, I'd like to have a best case scenario, a wife and kids, you know, because I've always wanted to be a family, like a husband and a father.

Speaker: And hopefully, you know, all is well with my family and their health is good and they're happy and things are going swell on that end.

Speaker: And same with my mates.

Speaker: Hopefully my mates are healthy and happy and, you know, they're all doing well with their careers.

Speaker: And I think that's really it.

Speaker: I just want to be, you know, financially stable, happy, family is good, friends are good.

Speaker: And I think at the end of the day, that's all I want.

Speaker: And that's your time.

Speaker: What a man.

Speaker: That's good.

Speaker: What a man.

Speaker: I like that.

Speaker: I like that.

Speaker: If we clip that 60 seconds and put it on a few dating apps, mate, he'll be jagged in no time for sure.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Thanks for that.

Speaker: I think that was good.

Speaker: It was good.

Speaker: And the reason I put the time restriction there is because otherwise we start thinking about what we want and all those things.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: This is good.

Speaker: So it's good, serious, real answer.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: To wrap off the bonus question, this is a big one.

Speaker: Lachlan, do you want to ask this question?

Speaker: Why are you just making it sound so scary?

Speaker: Go home.

Speaker: That's a terrible drum roll it is.

Speaker: Hold on, hold on.

Speaker: I've got drum roll.

Speaker: I've got drum roll for this.

Speaker: Let me give you drums.

Speaker: Oh, the wrong drums.

Speaker: That's a joke, mate.

Speaker: Straight joke.

Speaker: All right, let's go.

Speaker: Let's go.

Speaker: Ask the question.

Speaker: Terrence, Sam Monte, how big is your penis?

Speaker: You know what?

Speaker: It's probably about like just under six.

Speaker: That's good.

Speaker: That's a great answer.

Speaker: Connor avoided it and he sort of half answered it.

Speaker: So I appreciate the honesty.

Speaker: Honestly, look, I'd be lying if I said I was packing a mad one.

Speaker: You know, I think a lot of us out there wish they could be packing that, but the reality is it's, it's doesn't seem to be that case unless you got a diaper complexion, then you're, you've just got everything gone.

Speaker: You've got some disappointment ahead at the end of the day.

Speaker: Um, you don't grade, um,

Speaker: You don't grade a tradie's ability on the size of his tool.

Speaker: It's his ability to use the tool efficiently.

Speaker: So I appreciate that very much.

Speaker: That's it.

Speaker: That's it.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Well, on that note, anyone want to try answering the main question?

Speaker: What is the meaning of life?

Speaker: Terence, as our special guest.

Speaker: The meaning of life.

Speaker: I think at the end of the day, if I were to pinpoint it down to one word, I'd say connection.

Speaker: That's big.

Speaker: I like it.

Speaker: I'd say connection and, you know, connection between people, connection with fucking the earth, connection with animals.

Speaker: I don't know, just connection.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And I think I've come to learn that firsthand now, being alone for a period of time, you know, like –

Speaker: I get so happy just talking to people and seeing people and just those simple pleasures that I often take for granted.

Speaker: And yeah, I think to me that's what the meaning of life is, is just connection because without that, you know, it'd be pretty rough.

Speaker: Anik, mate, that is a, damn, that is a heck of an answer.

Speaker: Connection, that's a one word.

Speaker: Mate, that is a coffee mug.

Speaker: That is outstanding.

Speaker: Put that on a shirt.

Speaker: Can you top that?

Speaker: My gosh.

Speaker: Holy.

Speaker: I don't think I could top that, but I think I'm going to try answering that in my weird way.

Speaker: I think the meaning of life lies somewhere within the answer that Terence gave.

Speaker: And also, you know, also within living a certain, living a certain way where, you know, you explore and you kind of, God damn, I can't dot that.

Speaker: That was a good answer.

Speaker: Anything I look at, think about it, it's good.

Speaker: You go back to it.

Speaker: Yeah, it really is.

Speaker: You could cover everything in it.

Speaker: You could be, you could be like,

Speaker: you know, at the bottom of the barrel.

Speaker: But if you had somebody there that you could just connect with and just talk to, like you don't realize how powerful a conversation can be and just feeling like you're not alone, you know, and it's just so powerful.

Speaker: And that's why I'm, you know, that's why I say that is because without connection, then fucking there's no, what is life?

Speaker: If you're not connecting with anyone, what is life?

Speaker: That is true.

Speaker: That is true.

Speaker: That's a happy answer.

Speaker: Absolutely.

Speaker: I think in a little bit more philosophical way, I think it is true.

Speaker: You know, it's your connection with your life, the friends, people, God and all these, everyone.

Speaker: I think it is connection is fairly good answer.

Speaker: I think it's also I think a big part of the meaning of answer is and this does come under connection is.

Speaker: is playing a role in life, essentially making an impact on the word that you were born into, improving the word around you and improving the people's life around you and all those things.

Speaker: And I think living the word better than you found it is what I feel like, what I make the meaning of life

Speaker: for me.

Speaker: But I think connection does very much kind of over kind of connection does literally overarches that.

Speaker: So, yep.

Speaker: Man, that is beautiful.

Speaker: I think for me, original life.

Speaker: Yeah, that's right.

Speaker: That's right.

Speaker: So I think the origin, so I think the meaning goes back to origin, right?

Speaker: So it goes back to why.

Speaker: So it goes back to the way something started.

Speaker: So the meaning of something is the way it was started.

Speaker: right so like why was that thing created so if it's true that we were actually created then our meaning would be found in our creator so if we were created beings then our meaning of life would be found in our creator and then if we actually have a creator then that's our connection right there um so yeah how did it all begin then we'll find our answer if it's true that we were created then that's our answer if it's somewhere else then it's somewhere else

Speaker: But yeah, go back to the start and then you'll find the meaning for sure.

Speaker: And that's everything.

Speaker: Nice.

Speaker: Wow.

Speaker: It is pretty good.

Speaker: That was three from three there, boys.

Speaker: Big plays.

Speaker: Sign me out.

Speaker: It's good.

Speaker: Hey, I do want to quickly touch on one more thing.

Speaker: And this is what kind of what Terrence started.

Speaker: And Terrence, you can say something at the end.

Speaker: I know this is time being have been rough on everyone, this whole COVID-19 situation.

Speaker: I do.

Speaker: And Terrence, you kind of touched on it.

Speaker: So this kind of gave me the little...

Speaker: Pad, where to start, and you can quickly talk about this as well before we wrap up this podcast, is that you're right.

Speaker: I do truly hope once we come out of this lockdown, once we come out of this situation, people do value other people more.

Speaker: And like you said, people do finally realize it is about

Speaker: connections and that connection even if that connection connection could be whether it's with your god or whether it's with earth and everyone i think it's very much so realizing realizing the fact that having the freedom to choose to do things is huge and so many people struggle with that and we don't take that take that for granted

Speaker: Because when you talk about things like, you know, for example, you were talking about mental toughness, right?

Speaker: I was just thinking that the crazy thing is even choosing to place yourself in tough places is a choice.

Speaker: When that choice gets taken away, even that kind of, you know, no longer applies.

Speaker: So it's incredible.

Speaker: Absolutely.

Speaker: There's so many different things that you feel so...

Speaker: that impact your life because of this little lockdown that all this situation that this coronavirus situation has brought us into.

Speaker: So I do think people all around the world have learned something from them, if anything, because I think this whole situation is costing the world billions and trillions of dollars.

Speaker: you know, people losing jobs and people dying.

Speaker: If there's anything that we can gain out of that, is that it's not to take life for granted and, you know, and live happy and at the best of your abilities as you can.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And find, find happiness that find sustainable happiness, right?

Speaker: Not something that's predicated on our external world.

Speaker: So beautiful.

Speaker: I love it.

Speaker: Just real quick.

Speaker: I just want to think of this quote.

Speaker: I actually saw it on Tik TOK, but it was, it was, it was a turtle.

Speaker: It was actually a turtle saying an animated turtle, but it was a, it was a true quote.

Speaker: I know it sounds really weird, but basically the line goes yesterday,

Speaker: was the past.

Speaker: Tomorrow is a mystery and today is the present.

Speaker: You know who that turtle was?

Speaker: That was from... Say it again for me.

Speaker: Let's end on that.

Speaker: That was brilliant.

Speaker: Yesterday was the past.

Speaker: Tomorrow is a mystery.

Speaker: And today is the present.

Speaker: Something along those lines.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And it was just, I thought it was really like, it's pretty simple, but it was just so true.

Speaker: I was like, yeah, tomorrow is a mystery because I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow.

Speaker: Yesterday was the past because it just happened.

Speaker: And today is the present because it's right now.

Speaker: So...

Speaker: That's the only thing we know is right now we can definitively... Exactly, and that's the only way we should be living, which is the sad part because often we're not.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: It is, buddy.

Speaker: It is.

Speaker: It's all, yeah.

Speaker: We're 25 years young, boys.

Speaker: There's plenty of great episodes and times to come.

Speaker: So in regards to episode number 32, thank you guys so much for listening in.

Speaker: I'm sure there's a couple of old faithful battlers that are still slugging away.

Speaker: And for that one person that...

Speaker: thought that the name of our podcast should have been the Dubbies Podcast.

Speaker: I don't appreciate you and I know where you live and I'm coming for you.

Speaker: But regardless... Where was this?

Speaker: Who said that?

Speaker: Let's put this off camera.

Speaker: It is what it is.

Speaker: Sometimes the energy is not meant to be put in that situation.

Speaker: But no.

Speaker: Old jokes aside, we love you very much, Terrence.

Speaker: Maybe the best episode we could have had was the one that nearly didn't happen at all.

Speaker: So...

Speaker: It took so many tries.

Speaker: That's it, eh, boys?

Speaker: So, yeah, before we finish today, we'll think about just a good title for the show.

Speaker: But anyway, Enik, did you want to wrap up with our old faithful mate and potentially shouting out any sponsors of the show?

Speaker: Yes, sounds good.

Speaker: Thank you for listening to the show.

Speaker: This has been the episode 32 of the Collabitomies podcast.

Speaker: We're almost to that 50 and anyone who's been coming along for the journey, thank you so much.

Speaker: I know there's been a couple of people who've been listening to the show religiously and a couple of mean comments, you know, we owe to you.

Speaker: So just watch out.

Speaker: Watch your back, buddy.

Speaker: Watch your back.

Speaker: This has been the episode 32.

Speaker: two and let's not forget you can always download race and so if you want to save money and check it out check it out and ask us for the code you can find us on instagram facebook and all the socials above you can also listen to the clever tummies podcast on our website the clever tummies podcast.com instagram facebook youtube as well as on stitcher and all of the above podcasts where we can use podcasting

Speaker: And once again, thank you for listening.

Speaker: This has been the Clabbit Amish Podcast.

Speaker: Terrence Lockman and the link.

Speaker: Catch you.

Speaker: Love it, guys.