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Ep.74 Healthy Boundaries: How Would a Plant Keep Them?
66 Plays3 months ago
In this episode, I explore a fresh take on boundaries by learning from nature's finest teachers—plants! Many of us think of boundaries as rigid walls to keep things out, but nature shows us something different. What if we embraced boundaries as living membranes that evolve and adapt as we do?
Join me as we rethink the traditional approach and dive into how plants model fluid boundaries that allow for growth, transformation, and resilience. Discover how to let go of what no longer serves you and invite in new energy for evolution.
Whether you're looking to protect your energy or navigate personal development, this episode will challenge your views and empower you to embrace your inner and outer ecosystems with confidence.
Topics Covered about boundaries
➡️ Rethinking boundaries as flexible, living membranes
➡️ Insights from plant wisdom on healthy growth and protection
➡️ How rigid boundaries block evolution
➡️ The role of adaptive boundaries in emotional and personal growth
➡️ Using nature-inspired models to foster resilience and flow
Resources Mentioned
🌱 Readings and Protection Sessions with Tigrilla
🌱 Plant Consciousness Commentary
🌱 What Mentorship/Coaching Program is For You?
☝🏽ReConnect with Plant Wisdom podcast Ancient and modern knowledge from biology to spirituality about the wondrous ways plants help you lead a Naturally Conscious life. Subscribe on your favorite podcast player.
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// Opening and Closing music by Steve Sciulli and Poinsettia from The Singing Life of Plants
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Transcript
Recording After Internet Outage
00:00:00
Speaker
Hello, hello, hello everyone. Welcome back to another episode of reconnect with plant wisdom. It's me, Tigra Gardenia. I am so excited to be able to do this episode, because where I live,
00:00:16
Speaker
Um, the internet has been down for the last week, a whole week. Can you imagine having really spotty phone coverage and no internet for an entire week? One thing is when you go on vacation and you plan for it. And another thing is when it happens in the middle of a very busy week, it was the end of the Dominarian new year. And, you know, it's as if Mercury was just having a blast. So.
00:00:46
Speaker
For the last month, I mean month, week, it felt like a month, it felt like a month.
Challenges of Mountain Living
00:00:50
Speaker
For the last week, I had no real internet. I live in the mountains, as you know, I live in Domino in Northern Italy. And um yeah, the coverage here for our phones, like for example, if somebody needs to call me at home, they have to tell me in a message that they're going to call me so I can move somewhere else.
00:01:08
Speaker
because the phone doesn't really work all that well. So you can just imagine what that was like. when Last episode of the podcast, because the internet was already down, um luckily I had recorded it right before the internet went down. When it went when I tried to publish it using my phone, the video took 12 hours to upload. I leave it there with 12 hours to upload.
Unconventional Episode Topic: Desires and Reality
00:01:33
Speaker
So anyway,
00:01:35
Speaker
Let's get to today's conversation because when this topic was first proposed to me, I really hesitated quite a bit. My views on this topic, like many topics, are a bit unconventional and I wasn't sure if I could really explain in one episode What I think is important for you to understand and why what you want isn't really what you want. You know how they kind of say sometimes like you want to ah talk to people about what they want, but you know that you need to give them what they need.
00:02:12
Speaker
This is kind of one of those situations. and um But I get asked so much about it that I thought, okay, let's let's just go for it. If for any reason, anything I say in this episode is unclear, you can simply ask me about it. I'm always open for a good discussion, and although What I share with you comes from all my years of experience. My ultimate goal is to help you find what works best. So I'm always open to a conversation to see how we apply these things directly to you. And maybe it'll be a little bit different than what I'll say here. But then again, maybe not.
Nature-Inspired Mentorship and Credentials
00:02:48
Speaker
In case you're new around here, I'm a nature-inspired mentor and a certified life coach. And for more than a decade, I've been working closely with plants to share their practical wisdom with you and to really help you consciously embody the elements of life that nourish your evolution. So a few things about me, I realized that I've been doing this episode for, I mean, these episodes, this podcast for a while, and I very rarely kind of explain who I am. I mean, the intro sort of says something,
00:03:16
Speaker
but it's not detailed so let me just let me just give you a little bit of background because this might help also understand why my thought process is so different based on this topic so a few things about me i have a master's degree in vegetal future which is plant social innovation design under stephanow mancuso who is one of the premier scientists in the plant neurobiology world I'm also an esoteric teacher from various different lineages. um I used to teach Kabbalah and sacred geometry and astral travel and more other, more other, more other. Isn't that beautiful? The beautiful thing of making words up. anyway
00:03:52
Speaker
um I have a PCC coaching credential from the ICF, from the International Coaching Federation. I'm a Gaia-featured expert, so you if you have a Gaia subscription, head on over to ah Divine Science and go check that out. If you don't, just head on over to tigreagardenia.com slash Gaia and you can check it out, but I'll put it into the show notes for you.
00:04:15
Speaker
And I'm an international speaker on plant communication and consciousness for personal development. So really, you could say that my soul mission, my soul mission, and I talk a lot about the soul mission in some of my ah coursework, is to help you bridge the gap between where you are,
00:04:30
Speaker
and where you want to be, who you are today and who you
Episode Introduction: Plant Wisdom and Boundaries
00:04:34
Speaker
want to become. And I elicit the help of the plant came home to do it. So today is episode 74 of the podcast, and we're going to talk about healthy boundaries. How would a plant keep them?
00:04:49
Speaker
Welcome to reconnect with plant wisdom. I'm your host Tigri La Gardenia, nature inspired mentor and leadership coach. In this podcast, I share ancient and modern knowledge from biology to spirituality about the wondrous ways in which plants can help you lead a naturally conscious life.
00:05:09
Speaker
Now in this episode, I want to talk to you about boundaries. Boundaries are commonly misunderstood as permanent solutions to protect ourselves. So by the end of this episode, i ah my hope, my hope, if I do this right, is that you will understand that healthy boundaries When it comes to the way a plant looks about it which is. Actually my personal experience even before i started working with plans is really different from the human centric approach that we normally think of and so i want you to learn what their models are how you can build them for yourself. in order to build up your confidence and create space for your evolution. Because that's really what the boundaries should be. But before you jump in, there's another thing. This episode's all about me saying things that, for the last 73 episodes, I keep forgetting to say. But I'm going to say it, and hopefully it'll be clear.
00:06:03
Speaker
um i A big thing you should really know about me is that I love, love, love, love questions. Many of my classes are actually master class style. I give master classes every month on a variety of different plant inspired topics inside of the Naturally Conscious community. And my master classes have a small presentation where I kind of give you the topic of conversation, which is kind of what the podcast is to that part of it.
00:06:31
Speaker
And then afterwards, we have lots of discussion on how to apply this knowledge in your life. Because one of the hardest things that I've experienced with doing this podcast is not being able to answer your questions on the spot. Depending on how you watch or listen, you might not even be able to leave me a message. So I really only see comments in the Naturally Conscious community and on YouTube. for all the other platforms that you might be listening to or watching this. you have If you have a question, find me on social media. Of course, the easiest way to find me is in my own ah my nature-inspired ecosystem, which is you know the Naturally Conscious Community, which is all about human-plant relations. There's always a link in the show notes for you to join the Naturally Conscious Community. And there, I'm going to respond quickly. And you have the benefit of a whole community of people that are really interested in what you have to share.
00:07:24
Speaker
so I say this because i as much as I feel very comfortable and confident in the things that I share, I also know that life is life. And there's lots of different roads in life. And things that I say that I might sound like are like a hard and fast rule, like most plants, means that there's always an adaptation that we can take specifically for you.
00:07:50
Speaker
So, your questions help me not only understand other circumstances, but they also help me help you see how do you take what I'm saying and apply it. And that's really kind of the basis of my coaching, right? As a life coach who really touches on all aspects of life from business to personal development to relationships to all kinds of different aspects,
00:08:11
Speaker
My goal is to help you take this information, this ecosystem building knowledge that that I share as a mentor and apply it as into your own life. And I do that really more from questions, from from expansive and from making you think outside the box and then for you to decide how you want to apply that.
00:08:31
Speaker
so I just want to state that because I think it's really important for you to know that I want your questions and I'm trying to give you all the opportunities for you to do that. So, that being said, let's get back into this whole boundaries thing because I think that there's a lot we we need to talk about for this. So, and because it's a complex topic, ask me questions. Now I've given you permission, I've told you where, ask me questions.
00:08:57
Speaker
So I heard a beautiful quote recently. Let me find the quote.
Brene Brown's Boundaries Perspective
00:09:00
Speaker
Compassionate people ask for what they need. They say no when they need to. And when they say yes, they mean it. They're compassionate because their boundaries keep them out of resentment. This was by Brene Brown. I actually don't agree with her. I agree with compassionate people asking for what they need.
00:09:22
Speaker
when they've reached the level of evolution, but actually compassionate people probably struggle the most in my opinion to ask for what they need because compassionate people put themselves in the shoes of somebody else. So it is often compassionate people and empaths, people who can really empathize and feel for whomever it is that they're interacting with, whether that's one-on-one or in a group setting, they are the ones that are most likely to ask for boundaries because for them, the boundary is what keeps them safe. So when I become a sp when i became a spiritual healer,
00:10:04
Speaker
One of the most, which was a long time ago, one of the most common requests that I received was for helping create boundaries to protect your energy, to protect your emotions, to protect you from your clients, to protect from your excessive um empathy and compassion that you have. Because again, when you're in compassion, you can see where the other person is coming through coming from not coming through coming from and then you let them through.
00:10:30
Speaker
So actually that compassion is more likely what's actually kind of making it difficult for you to... What's the word I want to use on?
00:10:43
Speaker
It's kind of hard for you to be able to, I'm opening a water bottle so I have things in my hand, to kind of understand that there is there are things that you don't need to take on even if you feel it. And this is why you know boundaries have become, and shields and blocks have become the kind of common go-to. Many of my clients were empaths, obviously, and energy workers of all kinds of sorts.
00:11:10
Speaker
And so they wanted to block out overwhelming energies that were coming from groups or or individual clients or even in their own relationships. They thought that what they needed was like stronger boundaries. Others felt like they gave away their energy too easily. So the boundary was for that purpose. um The thought was that they needed something between them and others, kind of like a shield that would block out that space.
00:11:38
Speaker
The problem is that when you create a boundary, you not only keep things from coming in, but you also keep things from coming out. And I know that in some states, I mean, some ways and in some scenarios, that might seem like exactly what you want, and that's fine. But when you create a boundary, the boundary is kind of um dumb.
00:12:01
Speaker
The boundary just blocks. The boundary doesn't allow for any kind of exchange at all, whether it's a protective bubble or an actual wall that you put up, an emotional block, whatever word you choose to use it. That boundary creates a division between you and others.
00:12:20
Speaker
And it's it ah requires a certain amount of knowledge for you to create a selective boundary. And I'm going to talk a little bit about that later. But the whole reason that you want a boundary is because you're not able to be that selective yet.
The Problem with Traditional Boundaries
00:12:37
Speaker
You're still not able to manage your energy in a way that or manage your
00:12:45
Speaker
vulnerable parts, for lack of a better term, you're not able to manage them. So therefore you can't create a cell a selective boundary anyway, because you're not there yet. And this is where the conflict went ah went um with a whole boundary kind of comes. So what I want to do is rethink boundaries instead of traditional boundaries, which are hard blocks, and which kind of, again, are ah dumb, can't pick up another word, unintelligent. They're just, they have a single function. I want you to, that's a kind of more traditional view. I want to kind of start talking about the idea of looking at it from an ecosystem and from a plant perspective to get a more expansive view. And then we'll bring it kind of back into the energetic, emotional side. So boundaries, basically, as we typically understand them are barriers, something that separates us and keeps what's inside safe from the outside.
00:13:43
Speaker
um Hold on a second.
00:13:49
Speaker
It's amazing how worked up I get as I'm doing this. I get really emotional in a good way. Like I get really passionate about what I'm saying. And therefore, um i I don't know, I don't ah hopefully I am enunciating my words carefully. But what happens is then my mouth becomes really dry. So yeah, this is why you see creators like when you watch YouTube and stuff like that drinking a lot of water. I i think you really do need to drink a lot of water.
00:14:19
Speaker
And it's just water. Okay, so basically what I was saying is that we often create these artificial boundaries driven by a sense of I'm important, right? Self-importance. I'm important and therefore I need to protect myself or I am delicate so I need to preserve myself. Like there we need the feel, we need this, we have this feeling of needing to permanently protect what's inside of this boundary.
00:14:47
Speaker
And emotional boundaries are usually formed because we believe that we actually can't handle what's coming our way. And this is an important characteristic for us to recognize. We don't believe that we can deal with it, so I'm going to put a boundary. i um I can't actually stop you from interfering in me in some way energetically, emotionally, psychologically, any of those things. Therefore, I create a barrier. And this is what the most of the world has thought of in a positive way. But, but did you know that this is actually the same mechanism that unconsciously creates limiting beliefs?
00:15:28
Speaker
it it really is the same thing. You create the barrier around that vulnerable part of yourself that you can't really control, that you can't take care of, that isn't strong enough to deal with whatever comes its way or to you know ignore it. And so therefore you create the shell around it. And I'm gonna be talking a lot more about limiting beliefs very soon. So keep an eye out for it because that is one of those areas that I have gone super deep with the plants to understand and I have a whole new way of looking at it that I think is really going to change your relationship with limiting beliefs. But ultimately, whether we're talking about what eventually becomes a limiting belief, or we're talking about your delicate emotions, or we're talking about
00:16:16
Speaker
your psychological state. Basically, when you ask for a boundary, it's because you think you can't handle it. So since you can't handle something, you tuck away that part of you that can't handle it. You put a boundary in front of it. And the problem is that over time, that boundary gets more and more rigid.
00:16:37
Speaker
It's basically blocking anything that touches what's inside. Remember, a boundary in and of itself is inelegant. It's unintelligent. It it just responds. it doesn't It doesn't really know. It doesn't know how to discern because discernment is a characteristic of you, not the boundary. So what happens is that that boundary gets much more rigid over time.
00:17:02
Speaker
And eventually you find yourself that the boundary has become its own master. It has its own criteria for what it lets through or not lets through. And even you sometimes can't even access whatever the heck it's blocking because we tend to think of a boundary as like something that covers the whole. But it's it's not really the way we create boundaries.
00:17:21
Speaker
Very rarely do we create only in very specific situations like i don't know maybe i'm creating a boundary or a shield because i'm going to a concert and i can't handle all that energy but most of the time if i don't know how to create that boundary as something that holds all of me.
00:17:39
Speaker
and then know how to discharge that boundary. What ends up happening is the boundary encases itself around a specific aspect of yourself that can't handle it. And over time, you yourself, other parts, other personalities, other aspects of you, can't access what's inside. So what if I was to tell you that boundaries aren't really meant to be rigid walls?
Flexible Natural Boundaries
00:18:04
Speaker
So when we look at the net at the at the more natural world,
00:18:09
Speaker
We actually learn that boundaries are not supposed to be solid, but instead they should be flexible, more like membranes. And this is this is something that I went really deep into when I was studying under Fritav Kapra.
00:18:25
Speaker
which I love Capra's work. If you ever have a chance to go and look at his systems view of life and his more ecological thinking and really looking at how you take physics in particular and put a biological coding over it, it's fascinating. But the idea of boundaries as more like membranes are now we're getting into a direction that's much more flexible and allows us to have the same functions that we've been looking for with much more flexibility to ensure that we don't keep out things that we actually want and that we give ourselves the space we need for what it will take us to be strong enough to handle things differently. Let let me try to break that down a little bit better.
00:19:14
Speaker
So in nature, healthy boundaries like membranes, like living membranes evolve, they adapt, they change according to the needs of the moment. They're very rarely rigid and soft. You can't even really see where an ecosystem starts to begin because there is an ecotone in between, which is the place where the two ecosystems interact and that creates its own little environment too. So it's a very fluid,
00:19:44
Speaker
it's It's kind of like the aspect that we don't we think that this is where my body ends. But remember, we have if you look at it from a spiritual perspective, an aura, and then there's also other aspects from the physical perspective, we really are not as solid as we think yeah we are.
00:20:01
Speaker
So therefore, when you think of a boundary more as a membrane with a fluidity to it that allows certain things in and out and others not, it gives us a lot more control and it gives us the space that we need in order to evolve whatever it is that we're protecting in the moment.
00:20:21
Speaker
while at the same time giving us also permission to modify the membrane as time passes based on my own evolution. So as I get stronger, the membrane can change. I was reading actually something about Aldo Leopold recently.
00:20:38
Speaker
He was an American writer and a philosopher. He was a naturalist and a scientist. And he was a little bit of everything. You know, people call him an ecologist, a forester, a conservationist, an environmentalist. Basically, he was really, really, really influential in the development of modern um environmental ethics.
00:20:56
Speaker
and he was involved in wilderness conservation. So he really was thinking about conservation from a perspective, also an ethical, what is our ethical um duty, but also what are the ethics that surround our interaction with the environment. His ethic really offers a such a valuable perspective here because what he said was, a boundary is right when, ah sorry, let me say this better.
00:21:23
Speaker
A boundary is right when right is incorrect, when it preserves the integrity, stability, and beauty of the community it serves. But when a boundary stops serving these purposes, it becomes a problem.
00:21:38
Speaker
So rigid boundaries, whether we're talking about in relationships or work or personal life, they can lead to stagnation and lack of growth because, again, a boundary should be protecting what's inside as what's inside is changing, as what's inside is becoming strong enough or developing in order to be able to deal with the outside world. If you think about the, you know,
00:22:06
Speaker
the um a baby right a baby is encased inside with all of the amniotic fluid right in order to give the baby an opportunity which is a membrane again remember from that fluid things can flow in through that membrane and actually flow out so one of the most delicate parts of the natural world a baby can still have things that flow in and out through that membrane. And that membrane protects the baby through the growth, that embryo, as the embryo is growing and becoming strong enough to be able to deal with the outside world. So that membrane has a function, but it's temporary. And that's really what nature does.
00:22:50
Speaker
Nature does not build ah rigid walls, but flexible living membranes and boundaries need to be able to continuously adapt. They need to be able to realize what has changed in the environment in which it's immersed in and therefore change and therefore adapt to it. Because when they don't, that's when they become limiting beliefs.
00:23:13
Speaker
That is when something that you thought was there to protect you eventually harms you because it limits you from doing things. So when we look at plants as models for healthy boundaries, for example, looking at a plant cell, which is a membrane again, how it adapts to the elements that need to come out, then the plant evolves new strategies and dissolves the boundaries once growth is achieved. So there are some boundaries that over time merge with other items, creating a new boundary, or maybe dissolve out in order for what's in to
00:23:51
Speaker
touch in or connect to something else. So very rarely do we have one particular piece. Remember how I told you, it's very rare that you can have a boundary that's around all of you. And it's usually around some part of you, even if it's an emotional part, a psychological part, an energetic part, a body part. it can It's usually there for for something specific. And again, if you don't recognize that it's only doing that,
00:24:20
Speaker
It starts to operate on its own based on conditioning and automation, right? it's It starts to just work as an automated process, an automated response, and therefore it becomes more and more and more rigid until you yourself can no longer access what's inside of it.
00:24:38
Speaker
Before I started working with plants, I would often start my clients with who would ask me for boundaries because it was, again, a very
Using Temporary Shields for Growth
00:24:46
Speaker
common request. What I would say to them is that I'm going to teach you a very simple shielding technique.
00:24:52
Speaker
But, but this technique is only for you to use while you build up your inner magic. You build up your inner strength. It is not intended to be something permanent. Therefore, I'm going to teach you a technique that you actively have to turn on and off.
00:25:09
Speaker
It's something that you turn on when you need it and you turn it off when you don't. Because that mechanism of turning on and off, again, the temporality of it, ensured that they didn't get stuck in permanent on mode. Because permanent on mode is exhausting have you ever been around somebody who's really really really bothering you and it actually bothers you it's bothering you right and you're trying to ignore this person you're trying to ignore that this person is constantly bothering you aren't you exhausted at the end of the day i know i am i'm i'm like
00:25:45
Speaker
I can't handle it anymore, right? But if you have somebody that's obnoxious around you, and that's your definition of that person, I'm not saying the person is obnoxious to everyone, but let's say somebody who bothers you. Have you ever noticed that once you've done certain amount of inner work, there comes a point where you're around this person who's usually obnoxious to you, and they just don't bother you?
00:26:07
Speaker
It's like you sit there and where you actively used to have to like put all your energy into ignoring or blocking or having a boundary with this person, all of a sudden this person tries to talk to you and you kind of almost look at them as if they're not there. Like it just washes past you.
00:26:25
Speaker
That's the type of inner work I'm talking about. The boundary should only be there, the shield, the block, whatever word you want to use, while you evolve of the very thing that you're trying to keep a boundary from.
00:26:41
Speaker
The goal is never for it to stay there. So because, again, they're inelegant solutions, they're unintelligent solutions that don't allow for any kind of flow. So they do provide stability, which sometimes you really need. So sometimes actively setting the boundary. for you to have that stability, but they can also lead to isolation and to stagnation, which we've talked about multiple, multiple times, right? We've talked about it in multiple episodes of the podcast of the difference between the flow and the stabilization or stagnation, which again, stabilization can be really important
00:27:15
Speaker
for a short period of time and then you need to apply that back into the flow so you might need a boundary from somebody or something or while you're working on something but it needs to be temporary because that's the way the plants would build it in an ecosystem.
00:27:32
Speaker
and as your ability you know and then the other thing that i would do with my clients which i really loved doing and i still use for myself i'll have to be honest is that once you get to a place where your abilities are a little stronger in moments where in the past you used to use um a boundary like a shield of some sort or a boundary of any sort I would help them actually create a filtering mechanism. And this is something I still help my clients create. Imagine that you're in a bubble, right? So again, I'm going to a concert, I'm in a bubble, but this bubble now has a filter on it. And so it's taking in everything. It's taking in all the energies of the people of all sorts, right? the
00:28:15
Speaker
the drug-induced energies, the super ecstatic fun energies, the energy that would like drain you, the energy that instead gets you all excited, all of it is taking it in. Now in the past, when you just use a simple shield, all of that gets cut off from you.
00:28:33
Speaker
But when you have a filter on it, and you program the filter based on the need, so and again, an adaption, I adapt based on what's necessary, then I can suck everything in, right, as I walk through this concert space, I can take it all in, but my filter is intelligent because I've programmed the filter.
00:28:54
Speaker
And what I'm doing is I'm throwing out anything that is harmful. I'm letting it slide off the outside of this bubble, this boundary that I've created around myself. Anything that doesn't serve my evolution, that doesn't serve my fun for that night, it doesn't ah it it shouldn't touch me.
00:29:11
Speaker
And this could be people or energies or emotions. Trust me, when I go out, if there's somebody who wants to talk to me that I don't want them talking to me, I almost become invisible. Like I can't even tell you how many times I have been walking with a girlfriend and had somebody come up and be like, hey, baby, baby, and they do it to my girlfriend and they do not touch me at all. They don't even look at me because my filter takes in all of that crap.
00:29:40
Speaker
and it filters it right out and it just doesn't even, if i it doesn't even bother me. I don't even hear the person. I usually like, if my girlfriend's having problems, I'll grab her and I'll push her into my bubble and I'll be like, all right, I need you to trust me for a second. Let go. Let me be the defense mechanism. But the thing is that sometimes some of these people have really interesting things to share with us.
00:30:03
Speaker
And if we put a boundary up, it'll block that all out. So I like using the filter because the filter allows fun and interesting facts and maybe energies that might serve me that I'm missing or that I could use in some way. It lets it all in.
00:30:19
Speaker
And when I started working with plants, I was delighted. I was so delighted to see that Kin and I were aligned on this approach to boundaries. We were really creating membranes. They use a membrane, you know, Kin use, they don't build these hard walls. Kin build instead these membranes that are permeable and know what to let in and what to let out. And that's exactly the function of my filter.
00:30:41
Speaker
They create this fluidity and that ensures the health of what's inside because when I have that filter or when now I create more of a membrane, when I create a membrane where the whole thing is a giant filter, then I have i i can bring in the things that actually nourish me throughout the experience rather than being drained from being having to hold up a rigid barrier.
00:31:07
Speaker
So there's a boundary to every healthy system, right? Every every single healthy system has that. And often this boundary, again, is a membrane, not a hard wall. So like the cell the the cell membrane, it allows things to flow in while preventing others from crossing.
00:31:26
Speaker
But the most important aspect that I cannot emphasize enough is that it needs to be intelligent enough to adapt and change based on what's needed at the time. And it needs to give you space. So it has to nourish you in order for you to be able to adapt. So you need to learn how to turn it on, turn it off, and eventually over time, once you become stronger,
00:31:49
Speaker
how to program what comes in and what comes out. And what I love is that plants are constantly evolving new strategies to handle different threats and opportunities. So it's not like the membrane doesn't change over time. It's not like you set it and go.
00:32:05
Speaker
That's the whole point. The whole point is that the membrane is constantly evolving with you, getting bigger and getting smaller. That's how it is for plants. It's moving around. It's changing its composition in order to support the growth of what's inside. And once that growth is achieved, the boundary might dissolve, the boundary might merge with another, or the boundary might just be completely changed in order to make space for a new stage of life.
00:32:34
Speaker
I don't know why we got into the habit of creating these sort of rigid fixed walls, you know whether they're literal or metaphorical, that lead to stagnation. I don't understand how we got caught up in this and why so many people actually teach it. Again, I understand that the word boundary might have many different definitions, but I just find it almost a shame.
00:32:57
Speaker
when we kind of put in this tight limit to what exactly a boundary is. And again, I feel it really pains me when I start working with somebody with really strong limiting beliefs and when we start working through them,
00:33:14
Speaker
we realized that that limiting belief was originally something that they created under the idea of the guise of being a boundary. And so what's most important to learn, and this is where plants can be extremely fantastic guides and and where sometimes you need some help in order to get there, is how to create the right boundary for a specific context or a life situation. And that boundary has to be able to be permeable enough for what's inside to thrive, to grow, to have space to evolve. And so because if the life that's inside isn't thriving, we should really focus on adjusting the boundary first rather than trying to fix yourself within it. So when you find yourself
00:34:06
Speaker
almost cut off. Don't think of it as something you need and you've put up a boundary, whatever kind of boundary that might be. Look at the boundary because it's the boundary that doesn't have enough space for you to get the nourishment. Like I said, plants don't create boundaries to keep things out. They create these fluid but boundaries in order to make sure that flows in. So I really want you to take that lesson to heart.
00:34:33
Speaker
This is something that will prevent us from consuming too much of our energy by holding the boundary, and it doesn't really allow us to get the reserves that we need to grow. So keep that boundary active. In other words, apply it and then remove it for as long as it's necessary to ensure your growth, not for it to be a permanent fixture in life.
00:34:57
Speaker
Once the growth that you need to reach, that might be, I don't know, um this person
Dynamic Boundaries in Natural Systems
00:35:02
Speaker
that really annoys you not being something that you even think about anymore, or you've got a broken heart and you need to create a boundary around yourself for a small period of time for you to be able to work through that broken heart. So you do need to keep people out. And then at some point you allow people to come in. But when you have a boundary, it's too rigid and it doesn't have any kind of parameters from the very beginning.
00:35:27
Speaker
you might find yourself that this is when you become hardened or jaded as many people say and this is something that will hurt you in the long run. So your ultimate goal is to be sort of your own filter where things that don't serve you naturally fall away and things that nourish you are ah are allowed in to your most closest parts of yourself.
00:35:54
Speaker
I love something that Mark Groves once said. He said, walls keep everybody out. Boundaries teach them where the door is. Now, this is a little closer to what we're talking about. It's kind of like my filtering mechanism. And having the door in particular really requires that you are at a place where you feel ready to make that choice as to what comes in or comes out.
00:36:16
Speaker
So the door is is kind of that can be opened and closed. But we have to always remember that even if it's a door, it can't be static. It has to be dynamic like the ecosystems around you. They need to be something that we use as tools for our evolution.
00:36:36
Speaker
and that help us kind of maintain a space for us to become more resilient and empowered. But once we are resilient and empowered, they have to be able to fall away. So you have to have a plan for them to actually dissolve or going away.
00:36:52
Speaker
so Hopefully, this has been really kind of clear. you know it's i know i'm saying it a lot of I'm trying to say the same things in multiple different ways, because in an ecosystem, right each organism grows thanks to its interaction with others. right We talk about this all the time, symbiosis, mutualisms, even competition, and even other predation, these all help you evolve. So even things that feel bad or hard aren't necessarily something that hurts you but could be, on the other hand, enhancing your evolution.
00:37:29
Speaker
So it's important, again, that the membrane gives space for that, that the boundary is actually fluid enough for those. When you hold your boundaries for too long, there's no interaction, and therefore your growth stops. No matter how much you're working on things, even if we're talking about something like grief, or we're talking about the fact that I was hurt and I have a trauma that I'm working through, ultimately you are eventually going to need to let others in, whether that's you know, um therapist or a coach or even trying out some of the things that originally hurt you in small and safe ways in order for you to gather up new information to help you heal from that. So really, we need to use boundaries as tools to evolve rather than rigid things that we hold up at the time. So when we shift our perspective on boundaries and we align with a more natural aspect, we and actually really move out of a rigid protective silo that we keep making and into dynamic webs of respect and gratitude and reciprocity. Because again, that membrane allows these things in reciprocity and gratitude because you're putting them out. So it's allowing it out and then it can flow back in. They empower us in that case. The boundary in this case
00:38:54
Speaker
actually empowers us to develop within the safe space that they can provide. But the ultimate purpose is for them to be eliminated because we want to evolve so that I don't actually need it anymore. So we really want to learn how to use boundaries to grow, not as permanent fixtures to hold us back.
00:39:16
Speaker
So look, you have every right to say no without feeling guilty. You have every right to say that. And as you know, this is, I want you to learn how to use no. And I know that sometimes the boundary is what's going to uphold it. And so therefore, since the boundary is going to hold that no, for a period of time until you yourself feel comfortable with the no, until you yourself don't say no as a response, but more of No, it's just not a part of me. Once you feel so comfortable that no is an instant that requires very little energy expenditure because you're so comfortable with saying it, then the boundary is no longer needed.
00:40:01
Speaker
But while the boundary is still holding tight, that know is going to feel energetically exhausting. And that's a great indication that says, I'm still not ready. Healthy systems have living adaptive boundaries and not hard walls. And when a system becomes fully healthy for whatever its function is, it no longer needs that wall at all. So when you know yourself, you trust your abilities, and you love your authentic self, no one's energies or emotions can move you off your path.
00:40:31
Speaker
No one. No one. It's not always easy to get there, but getting there is really the goal. The boundary is to help you get there, not to hold to the boundary.
00:40:43
Speaker
Hopefully that made sense. I know it was so much. But I told you that this is like a hard topic for me to put into a conversation because there's just so many aspects of it. I could even go on and on. But today we really just focused on how plants create fluid boundaries to support your internal health and to support your growth. And that once your personal growth is achieved, wherever you've evolved to,
00:41:08
Speaker
Any kind of boundary that you've created should fall away because that's what allows for continuous evolution. So my question is, before you create a boundary, do you really need that boundary? And if you need that boundary, what specifically is the boundary for? And can you program a type of boundary that allows that but doesn't allow in anything else?
00:41:37
Speaker
that allows for just that one thing that we need to be protected and everything else can actually flow. And more importantly, here's my other question. If you've created a boundary, which means you're trying to change something specific, thanks How can I help you evolve that specific thing so that you can eventually let go of the boundary? That's my question to you, which you can answer again if you're watching on YouTube in the comments. And if you're listening to this, you can head over to any of my social media, which is just my name, Tigria Gardenia. Or you can go into the Naturally Conscious Community because I really want to hear about your experiences with boundaries.
00:42:15
Speaker
Imagine yourself having someone to help you embrace your entire being to honor all your multi passionate nature and to help you evolve your talents so that you don't really need any of these boundaries after time.
00:42:33
Speaker
that boundaries get used as a tool that you learn how to apply them and remove them as necessary. And together, I really want to help you build that confidence that you need to stand in your authentic self and easily say yes to what flows.
00:42:49
Speaker
and easily say no to what doesn't. Like with not even a hint of energetic expenditure, just like, no, that doesn't fit me. So that no, you don't have any need for a boundary that actually blocks you. You can take the best of what comes and everything else will just slide off.
00:43:10
Speaker
What do you think? Can we do it? Cause I think we can. I think you totally can. I really do believe that. Look, this is another big topic. And so if you want to talk more about it or you want to support this type of nature inspired evolution, I really hope you will join us in the naturally conscious community. This is the premier online ecosystem that nourishes plant reawakening and community support for accelerated evolution and co-creation with other kin.
00:43:36
Speaker
with plants, with fungi, with all kinds of different more than human beings. And we we love them. So there you're going to really find expensive discussions, multiple courses, a book club, a writing group, an active community flourishing with plant inspired support. And we'd love to have you with us. I'd love to hear your voice, your questions, your needs. And so Remember that whatever you do resists the urge to hold back your evolving green brilliance. This is another episode, episode 74. We made it through. And this is me, Tigerea Gardenia. I'm out. Bye.
00:44:20
Speaker
Thanks for listening to this episode of Reconnect with Plant Wisdom, intro and outro music by