Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Introducing... A View to a Podcast
7 Plays7 hours ago
Three friends. Twenty-seven James Bond movies. Ten criteria points in exploring the bests and biffs of Bond. Are we experts? No! Will you have a good time? Probably! But we promise, it only gets better from here.
Transcript
Introduction and Host Backgrounds
00:00:00
Speaker
Everybody's game faces on. Everybody's ready. Here we go. We're talking about it. We had beans for dinner. We're farting left and right. It stinks really bad in here. Oh, my goodness. More James Bond fans. Hi, everybody.
00:00:12
Speaker
I feel like that must have gotten really loud in the headphones. That probably to get really loud in Christian's headphones. I'm so sorry. Hi, everybody. We're doing a James Bond thing.
00:00:25
Speaker
Great. ah I'm Kat. I'm married to the guy. I was about to say the guy with the beard. That does not does not work in this particular one. That's true. In this case. Kat, who are you and what are your credentials? My name is Kat McCary. have not seen every Bond movie, but I am a professional critic, although it's usually theater and art. But, you know, this is theater and art, so I'm into it. It is art. it's There is some camp to this, suppose. it's so theatrical.
00:00:57
Speaker
That's true. it can be very handy. Yes. So I am Taylor McCary. I'm a lifelong James Bond fan. I have watched these movies multiple, multiple times for the most of them. and Not all of them. I've seen multiple times, but I've seen them all at least once. And I grew up loving James Bond movies.
Discussion Plan and Viewing Project
00:01:16
Speaker
I'm Christian. um as so It fits with this episode. Shaken or stirred. No, my name's Christian. Yes. With lemon peel.
00:01:28
Speaker
um Yeah, my name's k Christian. i I like Bond. I've seen all of them except for No Time to Die. um I probably watched maybe 30 minutes of Spectre and I gave up.
00:01:40
Speaker
um But man it is not the worst Bond movie. Christian ah has feelings about stuff, and his feelings are different from my feelings and different from Kat's feelings. This is going to a lot of fun So just to set the stage for the ridiculous things we're trying to do for all two of you who will ever listen to this, the idea is pretty simple.
00:02:02
Speaker
Today we're going to talk about our ah favorite Bond, least favorite Bond, favorite Bond movie, least favorite Bond movie. And if we're feeling extra saucy, we can say our favorite Bond song. ah Go ahead. Wait, but let's talk about what this is in service of.
00:02:17
Speaker
So you two, as dedicated Bond fans, made this goal to watch them all chronologically. Well, well, Christian came up with this idea. This is Christian's really good idea. And I mean that very sincerely. I'm very excited to do this. This is why I jumped on this bandwagon, because if I hear a cool idea, I'm going to whine and complain until I get in on it. And so thanks, dudes.
00:02:40
Speaker
Yeah, there you go. So the idea is we're going to watch all the Bond movies in order and we're going to rate them and we have criteria for rating them. So it's going to be a consistent rating experience after we today go over what they are and what exactly we're trying to go for. So before we do that, who would like to go first with their top and bottom Bond movies?
00:02:59
Speaker
ah Ladies first, Christian.
00:03:04
Speaker
I have to say I don't approve of that joke. ah
Christian's Bond Preferences
00:03:09
Speaker
And then he said... I will say that, like, the thing... You're going to get a real big dose of honest-to-goodness male friendship where Chris and I will probably just insult each other in big ways and very little ways the whole time. Just little digs.
00:03:22
Speaker
It's true. The tiny little paper cuts, the verbal paper cuts. In in my case, the tiny pricks. Oh, wait, dang it. Your wife is here. No comment. ah So...
00:03:36
Speaker
So who would like to go first? That's like a self-own. Okay. I can go first. Sure. So I'll just amend a little bit on the kind of where this came from. i briefly watched some very, very sassy, quasi-sarcastic, quasi-sincere sort of overview of the Bond films. And I'm like, you know what? I haven't watched...
00:04:03
Speaker
these movies in a very long time, probably. i get well, it's the guy. No, it's a way. When the skies. Anyway.
00:04:17
Speaker
Yes, when the time when the time comes. ah So I just was thinking, OK, what in the back of my mind, if I'm digging back into those memories like what's my what stands out to me.
00:04:32
Speaker
And I thought, oh, okay, yeah, sure. And then I like i kind of thought, I'll rank these in this sort of order. And then I invited Taylor and another mutual friend of ours, Jason, to kind of come together. And I did not know or all I had forgotten just how much of a Bond fan Taylor is. And so...
00:04:50
Speaker
It was very apparent because we didn't we didn't I shared the ah you know, a sheet that everything privatized its own little separate tabs for everyone to rank. And then we finally got together five weeks after we said we would. And we talked about our initial picks from memory picks.
00:05:07
Speaker
And boy, did I get talked over. i can just picture him talking quite a bit. Your third mutual friend just not caring in the least. Jason did not care even a little bit.
00:05:22
Speaker
you you the Yes. Like it was it was funny because like, the well, the funny thing is, is such I've known Jason since high school, which is was a long time ago.
00:05:32
Speaker
I watched many Bond movies at his house. Like I remember what vividly like down in their basement with he and his brothers and we watched
Bond Film Experiences and Opinions
00:05:41
Speaker
Thunderball and I'm like, Whoa, this is awesome. I've never seen this one. And then i was on cable and I'm watching never say never again. i'm like, this is the same movie. Why is John? Why is Bond old? It's the same movie.
00:05:57
Speaker
you know but i could i didn't really like you know verbalize it like that yes the point is jason did not care no he did not care but but that is like those are those little like core memories and so going back through again just to give you kind of give everyone like the brief overview that we talked about so my number one is the living daylights and that will make a whole lot more sense when we get to my favorite bond Well, and this is why.
00:06:28
Speaker
So I saw the list, right? Taylor shared it. And just looking at all of your rankings, I had so much to say about it. And by that, I mean, I just had what? So Skyfall, I think would have made sense just knowing you.
00:06:44
Speaker
That would have made sense. yeah But Living Daylights does. I would not have called that for you. I have known Christian for a long time. and i feel like I know him really well. And so when he's like, yeah, the Living Daylights is the best bond. I was like, what? That does not fit with my understanding of who Christian is. so I love it. I'm here for it.
00:07:03
Speaker
No, you don't. I do. I do. because You put like living daylights in the middle. Well, um I don't have yours in front of You love it. i on My feelings about the living daylights are what they are. but i i was genuinely tickled in a very good way. was like, I love that surprise. What a fantastic thing to learn about Christian. I have no frame of reference for that movie. So like I said, this whole. Is it Timothy Dalton?
00:07:29
Speaker
Yes. Spoiler alert. Haven't seen him. um okay so my i think then if we're going continuing in this vein going off of the original list that i made those were like gut reactions and i had been thinking about those for a while having not seen any bond media for quite some time yes the living delights is up at the top because my favorite bond is timothy dalton i think timothy dalton is the superior actor out of all of them i think
00:08:02
Speaker
Craig is like a sassy bad boy, but he's like, okay. I mean, look at what he's wearing. I haven't, I haven't seen the film, uh, knives out, but I hear that he is absolutely hilarious in that. It's like, so just an amazing act. Like, so it's like, okay, he's got range. That's great.
00:08:23
Speaker
ah I'm hyper focused here on, on a bond. He is not my favorite bond. He, he's a good bond, but he's not my favorite bond. My least favorite Bond is actually by default, it's George Lazenby. But like, yeah, that that's like, like I said, by default. But if I was actually looking at all of the, it's hard because I don't think there's a, I don't think there's a terrible Bond. Lazenby comes the closest, but I don't think there's a terrible Bond. But if you like,
00:08:55
Speaker
measured all of the movies that they've done, like all the Bond films, and then averaged them. Pierce Brosnan is the worst Bond. because his Because he has the largest amount of... Okay, ah okay so we're skipping to worst Bond movie. The worst Bond movie is Die Another Day. It will stay at the bottom.
00:09:14
Speaker
I guarantee it will stay at the bottom even after I've watched every single thing out of this box set. It is awful. Like, i like here's the thing. that That movie that we threw out, like the stupid comedy version of Casino Royale, I would rather watch that. Which is so shocking to me because I remember watching Die Another Day and be thinking like, this is a good, solid, campy Bond movie with with pretty decent action.
00:09:39
Speaker
I think that's actually the first Bond movie I saw in theaters. Yeah. Just fun. Really? Yeah. There you go. I mean, I think objectively, the world is not enough is the worst movie that tomorrow never dies.
00:09:53
Speaker
Really? Yes. because i loved I saw the world is not enough in the theaters, actually. That's the one with like the he surfs on the tsunami wave in in the the frozen north or whatever. Die Another Day. Yeah.
00:10:06
Speaker
Oh, oh that's ah is that? No, that's not Die Another Day is him is is Icarus, the the big like space Oh, I thought Die Another Day was the one with Michelle Yeoh. I think that one is... Is that Tomorrow Never Dies?
00:10:27
Speaker
I thought World is Not Enough is Halle Berry. We're big fans, Brad. Big Bond fans. Sorry, yeah, Tomorrow Never Dies is Michelle Yeoh, I think.
00:10:39
Speaker
Gosh, this is awful. I saw that in the theater and I was like, I don't like this. It's like, I'm going to go watch Goldeneye again. But the world is not enough. The world is not enough is bad.
00:10:51
Speaker
it's It's bad. but you know I think the worst part of the world is not enough is what's her face? Worst Brooke Shields. What's her name? Worst Kathy Ireland. What's her name? Denise Richards? Yes.
00:11:05
Speaker
Christmas? Yeah. always wanted to have Christmas in Turkey. Oh my gosh.
00:11:12
Speaker
I played a Bond psychologist.
00:11:17
Speaker
yeah let's What's really funny is that have you ever seen wait I don't know if she's in that I think she has like a bit part in it there's and there's that movie called freaked where it's Alex Winter gets turned into like a freak show like a sideshow freakazoid.
00:11:36
Speaker
I think Kathy Ireland is in that and she does like a sarcastic, like Robocop style, like news anchor segment, I think. And she nails it. It's like, it's it's like, okay, yeah, I can believe that. I could not wait for Denise Richards to get off of the screen. It's like not as bad as January Jones in X-Men.
00:11:58
Speaker
I will say though, Kat does love Denise Richards' turn in wild things. She won't stop talking about it. Yeah. Our VHS is worn out just in a couple spots. A couple spots.
00:12:10
Speaker
I actually have never seen that this in spite of all the terrible things that I've seen. Absolutely I've seen that movie. I worked at a blockbuster in the late 90s and early 2000s. I absolutely saw that movie. I think the blockbuster is going to be coming up a what few times. I think so. I think so so. So just so know, by the way, while we were talking, I looked this up just so we could be really careful with this. So Die Another Day is the one where he's on the the the stupid thing.
00:12:36
Speaker
You'll have to be more specific. Christian knows exactly what I'm talking about. Die Another Day is the one where he's he's surfing on the the wave in the North Pole or whatever. Tomorrow Never Dies is the one with Michelle Yeoh.
00:12:48
Speaker
And The World Is Not Enough is the one but between those two. I think The World Is Not Enough is the one that has the the guy who like can't feel anything because the diamond bomb exploded in his face.
00:13:00
Speaker
Yeah.
00:13:02
Speaker
Yes. He's, uh, he's, uh, he's, he's bolder. Yes. Yes. Yes. He's bold. Exactly. He feels no pain. Okay. So i what a huge tangerine we just went on. So your, your favorite is according to your list, according to my list.
00:13:18
Speaker
According to your list, the absolute best is The Living Daylights. According yeah to your newly revised right now hot take, it's Skyfall, both of which are acceptable, and I'll take them and be happy with them. And both of which make sense for you. Yep. And your least favorite is Die Another Day.
00:13:31
Speaker
Favorite Bond is Dalton. Least favorite is Lazenby with the caveat that it's actually probably really Brosnan. Yes. It sounds like you're saying the analytics prove Brosnan is the worst when you're looking at movie quality.
00:13:47
Speaker
Yes, I liked him in i liked him in GoldenEye. And like that that is a core memory movie for me. but they'f franchise that one i I love him like he is a genuinely like awesome person like I read his okay this is why I think he's an awesome person like people were giving his wife like grief like it's like someone I've posted like a picture of like them on their wedding day and them today and he just like calmly said you know what like she is love of my life she's like giving me like beautiful children all these other things and I'm like you know what
00:14:24
Speaker
You're a real G. Like, I can't. Yeah, I'm just going to fold myself in here real quickly. um And then says nothing. Well, I'm trying to think because if I'm being truly honest to myself, my favorite Bond movie is Live and Let Die.
00:14:42
Speaker
great I think it's so much fun. it has everything I want. It has a kick ass theme song. It has camp. It has him. It has all of the juicy ridiculousness. I do need to jump in though and really cut the legs out from under you You have told me multiple times you prefer the Guns N' Roses living that die to the Paul McCartney living that die.
00:15:04
Speaker
It's still a good theme song. But am I wrong? Okay, just because it was used perfectly in gross point blank doesn't make Paul McCartney's version less good.
00:15:16
Speaker
You know, just because Guns N' and Roses... Right, but the question is, do you think the Guns N' Roses version is superior to the Paul McCartney version? I'd like to let the world know that my wife, the professional critic, is going on record saying that this is the actual case. It is scenario-based preference.
00:15:34
Speaker
And I will say for Bond... bond Paul McCartney at that time in that movie You know what? That's not what this is about. This is about how live and let die is fun and has the best setting. I think this is an important part of the conversation that you're a terrible person for thinking the Paul McCartney version is subpar to Axl Rose.
00:15:52
Speaker
I don't think any Beatles fan would refute that Paul McCartney can be cheesy. I don't know. He wrote that great witchcraft song about Christmas. has been one Exactly. It is a fantastic cult song about like nothing going on here. Nothing, nothing. No, no, just Christmas. Not dancing in the woods naked. No, no, no, no. We're just simply having Christmas. um He can be cheesy, which works perfectly with the Bond movie. But if we're just jamming out to live and let die, I'm sorry, Axl Rose. You're wrong. has an edge I'm not wrong. Christian, back me up.
00:16:25
Speaker
Christian, don't do it. Do it. Don't do it. Listen to your heart. Homer Vardy's the most superior thing, but that's not the topic of the conversation. But this is Christian who hates covers. so That is true, but it doesn't mean he's wrong.
00:16:39
Speaker
Doesn't make him right. No, but two last three. No, okay. I do like Julie London's And I Love Him and I Love Her cover more than the Beatles version. What?
Music and Memorable Bond Elements
00:16:53
Speaker
This is worse than my take. Okay.
00:16:55
Speaker
Paul McCartney is a wonderful songwriter, but some of his songs should not have been performed by the Beatles, and that's one of them. I like it. I'm not saying it's a bad song. I'm saying that it's just off-brand. It's weird, ballad. All two of the people listening to this need to understand the insanity that I just heard. When I say Christian is a Beatles mega fan, I mean Christian is a Beatles mega fan. he don't have books me. He loves the Beatles more than just about anybody. And Cat loves the Beatles. Christian takes another level. So hearing Christian admit out loud that legitimately blows my mind. I don't think it's a bad song.
00:17:28
Speaker
I'm not saying it's a bad song, but I like Julie Lemon's want to return to that someday off mic. Because... I'm we're talking over you, Kat. So let's let's let's stop mansplaining Julie London to me.
00:17:43
Speaker
No, ah live and let die is perfect. That being said, my favorite Bond, the one that I just genuinely enjoy. well This is so difficult, but I'm going to say Daniel Craig because that's the one I fell in love with. That's the one that made me want to keep going to the theater. it's this little blue short It was. I told you, did you see what he was wearing?
00:18:05
Speaker
Because I did. so I did notice, but see, this is like the difference between the male gaze and the female gaze. You notice the shorts. I notice the chest. like Jesus, he is jacked. And we can talk about the male physique with regards to Bond and differing beauty standards, but he was like perfect in that moment as Bond before steroid body got too intense. ah Okay, so your favorite is... So my favorite is Daniel Craig. And your favorite movie is Live and Let Die. My favorite movie is Live and Let Die, just because it just scratches...
00:18:36
Speaker
Everything I love. She'd like him to scratch a certain hitch, if I'm not mistaken. Which is funny because he's not in that one either. No, that's true. i Anyway, um yeah, i just I do love a cheesy Bond. And then my least favorite Bond based on absolutely nothing. How many how many Bond movies have you seen, would you say?
00:18:57
Speaker
I would say, if I'm being generous, 12. Okay, more thought. Yeah. I've seen all the Daniel Craig's. I've seen at least three Brosnans. I've seen maybe four or five Roger Moore.
00:19:11
Speaker
so most... that's Actually, that's a lot. No, not four or five. Four or five Sean Connery, maybe three Roger Moore. Okay. Zero Timothy Dolan. And no Lazenby. Not even Boughton to say the man's name.
00:19:22
Speaker
Who? Huh? So what is your least favorite Bond movie? Who? Wait, who was your least favorite Bond? Least favorite Bond, no. It was going to be ah the least favorite Bond is going to be Sean Connery returning.
00:19:35
Speaker
Which time? He came back twice. Never say never again, baby. That's the one I was talking about. You not talking about Diamonds Are Forever? No, I was talking about the the last last time. And then my least favorite Bond movie is Roger Moore's last one.
00:19:50
Speaker
Okay. Because it just feels icky. Yeah. Yeah. it It's too much. yeah's It's too much. All right right. Bring it home, Taylor. Give us all those opinions. That's right. That's right. So, so far we've got Pierce Brosnan bad.
00:20:05
Speaker
Pierce Brosnan bad. ah George Lazenby by default bad. Okay. And we've got good Timothy Dahl and good Daniel Craig. Yeah. So ah for ah an old school hardcore Bond fan, this is going to make me sound like a super sellout. My favorite Bond movie is Skyfall.
00:20:23
Speaker
ah The reason Skyfall is my favorite is because it is the perfect Bond action movie. And more than anything, Bond movies are action movies. They're built around set pieces. They're built around fights. They're built around a villain that James Bond had to kill. James Bond movies are action movies. And the best action movie of the Bond movies is Skyfall. Ergo, the best Bond movie is Skyfall. Now, live in that day has some good action points. You wouldn't know that James Bond was an action movie by watching Dr. No.
00:20:51
Speaker
I will just say that. I would say today. Evolution is We're not going to get into Dr. No this time. That's next time. But we do have strong feelings. Okay, okay, okay. If you could see the way I'm gesturing right now, because I have very strong opinions, especially on that point. point um But no, we we'll save it. we'll Continue, Taylor. Okay, so Skyfall is my favorite. But I should say, like, underneath that, my my top five are Skyfall from Russia with Love, The Spy Who Loved Me, Live and Let Die, and Goldfinger. So, like...
00:21:27
Speaker
I love all the bonds all the Bond movies and for very different reasons I love them all, but i do think Skyfall is the best. I think the worst Bond movie is A View to a Kill because Roger Moore is genuinely gross to watch. He's just tired. When you watch him kissing like these little 20-year-old girls, you can tell he feels physically ill while he's doing it.
00:21:45
Speaker
and Especially if you look at his lips, he's like he's doing butthole lips. I don't know what else to say. just look His entire body is recoiling. Yeah, he recognizes that it's super gross.
00:21:56
Speaker
And he's, yeah, exactly. It's like the lip equivalent of putting your hands way back when someone hugs you. Like, no. I know. ah and so yeah He's on record, right? like he's like He's on record. like Roger Moore was like, yeah, I was getting too old. This was and really uncomfortable.
00:22:14
Speaker
My favorite Bond is Sean Connery. And the reason I think Bond is my favorite Sean Connery, maybe he's not the most Shakespearean actor. Bond is your favorite Sean Connery? Yeah, Bond is my favorite Sean Connery. Of all the Sean Connerys, James Bond is the best. no Okay, so my favorite... I prefer Highlander.
00:22:32
Speaker
Zardoz. So I think that... Of all the bonds, Daniel Craig comes in a close second with this, but of all the bonds, and Sean Connery is the only one where I genuinely feel he would beat me in a fist fight.
00:22:44
Speaker
Like, I feel like Roger Moore would be a piece of cake. Yeah. Timothy Dalton would put up a good fight, but it would be a draw. Lazenby, piece of cake, right? ah Pierce Brosnan, depending on when you get him. Goldeneye Pierce Brosnan would destroy me.
00:22:59
Speaker
ah The World Is Not Enough Brosnan would not. But Sean Connery, you can tell that man has been in many fist fights in real life and knows how to really hurt people. like Not fake hurt people. We'll go on this Dr. No, there are parts where he's like fighting people, fake like fake fighting. He at one point grabs a guy picks him up over his head and throws him against a wall. I just want to do a quick like interjection. We're not talking about you in particular.
00:23:27
Speaker
You're just talking about like general people getting in fist fights. Yeah. Like, yeah. i Just wanted to make that of all of all the bonds. Sean Connery is the only one who would be a genuinely scary fistfight to get into. Yes. Yes.
00:23:40
Speaker
Yeah. That's that's my my take on it because if you want somebody who's Bond, you want somebody who's going to be scary, but charming, who you feel like is a little dangerous, but knows how to control it And you want somebody who is who looks good and that women find appealing because it would make sense. Like old Roger Moore doesn't work because like women aren't walking on. Oh, who's that crusty old man who's like, there's dust coming out of his butt. Bless my soul. Oh my goodness. Sean Connery until the day he died, women are like, oh, like he's a terrible person, but like I'd totally let him make out with me.
00:24:12
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. See? Yeah. It's true. Like, yes, he would want to just give me a good slap, but. Well, it depends on what the slap's going to be. I haven't changed opinion.
00:24:24
Speaker
That's absolutely right. So really, Sean Connery, everything James Bond should be nails it perfectly. Daniel Craig, ah maybe a ah close second for for that specific thing, what I want James Bond to be. In terms of acting prowess, I think Timothy Dalton's pretty hard to beat.
00:24:39
Speaker
The man's a good actor. But I don't want Bond to act. I want Bond to beat people. I want him to be scary. And quip. And quip and be just like a little scary. My least favorite is old Roger Moore.
00:24:53
Speaker
If we can do specific iterations, Old Roger Moore is my least favorite. I will take Old Connery any day of the week over Old Roger Moore. So there's there's my best my worst. Interesting. Best movie, least favorite movie. Now, we we could, in theory, do best theme songs. if we're feel Are we feeling saucy? Just like a quick five-minute jaunt down this lane?
00:25:12
Speaker
Okay, so since I brought up, I'll go first. And this is based on, have like I've said, I've seen these movies so many times, I don't remember all the theme songs. And so for me, the question is, which ones could I off the top of my head go, i remember what this one sounds like.
00:25:25
Speaker
The best one for me is The Spy Who Loved Me. Specifically, because it's it's such a great song, but the me first and the Gimme Gimme's version is what pushes it over the top. It's so good.
00:25:37
Speaker
So good. So there there you go. That's my my best Bond song. Although I do really enjoy ones I can remember. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Yeah, because you're going to just say all the good ones. Okay, okay, fair. So before you even do that, Spy Who Loved Me. Shut it, Taylor. No one cares. Yeah, Spy Who Loved Me.
00:25:55
Speaker
I agree. Fantastic. Way up there. um but is it Your number two is what edges that out for me. Which is? Goldfinger. Goldfinger!
00:26:08
Speaker
Because it's just the horns, the singing, everyone knows it. Everyone knows Goldfinger. I mean, if you just say the spy who loved me to a person on the street, they go, hmm? Philistines. And then if you start singing it, they'll know it. But but that... Nobody does. But I'm not talking to the average person on the street. I'm talking to people who are in the know. Yeah, but I'm just saying. I'm just saying that's that's why Goldfinger edges it out for you've got to be careful with this logic because if most well-known is the best... Skyfall?
00:26:40
Speaker
But that's that's not the best because it's the most well-known. I know. Well, I'm not. I've expressed myself. Okay. I have spoken. No, Taylor's favorite song. He won't admit this. Taylor's favorite song is from Quantum of Songs. Because it's by his favorite artist. Did we not get into the Jack White debate again? Oh, gosh. Sorry. I had to. I had to. Everyone in those men knows this. I hate Jack White. He's an overrated hack.
00:27:03
Speaker
There. said it. heard he's a really nice person, though. I'm sure he's a nice person. But as far as the music he makes, it's stupid. It's self-congratulating. It's masturbatory at best. Okay, I'm sorry you don't like the one people live like, what? Yeah, what are they going to do? Demonetize our video that no one's ever going watch?
00:27:22
Speaker
Yes. I'm just sorry you don't appreciate people giving proper credence to like the roots. Oh my gosh, shut up. i Okay, i that was meant to be a jab, not a not an invitation to a round. That's another thing. That's another thing.
00:27:40
Speaker
No, so like, I think I had like I had a negative. um Association with the theme song to Goldfinger, otherwise it would have been it would have been up there.
00:27:54
Speaker
I can't tell you I can't I could never like point to something I probably probably blocked it out. But like that song, it's a good song, but I just I can't put it in my top. Mike, I can't put it in the tops. um My favorite Bond theme song is Thunderball.
00:28:10
Speaker
Because remember the boy oh boy Tom Jones man it's hard to beat Tom Jones like I know that it's kind of like a cliche now but like He's genuinely like an amazing singer and I'm just like he he is putting it all into that song he always runs while others walk He acts while other men just talk
00:28:39
Speaker
Sorry, I'm modulating. I can't sing like Tom Jones. I'm sorry, my new favorite God theme song is Christian singing that. Christian singing Thunderbolt. Yeah. Oh, boy. That's a... that's ah That's a low bar.
00:28:50
Speaker
Sorry, Shirley Badley. Get out of town. You get right out of town. Christian Jessen's in town. Oh, boy. All right. So we have now set the stage, the top of the low bar for both the Bonds
Criteria for Evaluating Bond Films
00:29:02
Speaker
and the Bond movies. We have our favorite theme songs. Let's go over our scoring criteria so everyone knows what the crap we're doing. And again, the idea is we're going to watch every single one of these movies and then grade them through discussion. Okay.
00:29:14
Speaker
So... First thing we're ba graving them on is the vibe. And when we say vibe, my understanding of this, and I'm open to correction or change on this. My understanding of vibe is the overall, what did that taste like?
00:29:28
Speaker
I'm like the intangible enjoyment. Yeah. Just like all things considered, whatever, like I liked the movie or I didn't like the movie. That's the, to me, that's the vibe. What do you think, Chris?
00:29:40
Speaker
I think you both described it pretty well. Like I, It's just like, what do I come away with? The je ne sais quoi? Yes, exactly. A certain je ne sais quoi?
00:29:52
Speaker
Je ne sais quoi? Sorry, I stole that from... I stole that from Nicky Jakey. That guy's funny.
00:30:04
Speaker
I think, too, that it's just like, what did I come away with? Like, what is my expectation of what a Bond movie should be? I think that's, you know, part and parcel to the... to this, the subjectivity of doing something like this, yeah where like, I don't think there's a way that you can like quantifiably, like objectively rank the James Bond films. I mean, but you'd have to, you'd have to break it down. You'd have fire you have to quan quantify of Solomon's.
00:30:34
Speaker
to do Don't you just, it, it's not something that's ineffable. It's not something that can easily be, you know, put on a scale and measured. Yeah, I'm like the box office receipts, but as we are doing it I think that our criteria what we've hit on is the major things a person can expect from a Bond film Yes, and so are the consistency vibe is just the overall can the movie hang?
00:31:01
Speaker
Do you want to hang out with this movie? Do you want to chill? Do you get lost in the world? But then these other things are what contributes to the vibe, right? Yeah, I would say the we'll get to them in a second. Yeah, I think that the vibe is the overall taste of it and the the other pieces are the things that contribute to specifically its quality as a Bond movie, not as a movie as a Bond movie.
00:31:21
Speaker
So do these have to be real numbers or can I use like negatives? I think you can use whatever you want. You can use a magic number. bar green. I joke, but I think we probably should. should I just I, you know, I think Sorry, I'm going to steal another someone else's joke because they can put it into words.
00:31:40
Speaker
But like tomorrow never dies. ah Sorry, die another day belongs at the asymptote, like mathematically impossibility. And it just it exists there. Like, again, I'm stealing that joke from somebody.
00:31:55
Speaker
But it put into words what I could not. I will say that I'm doing one out of 10. And if you put a negative number, if that if that movie is so bad that negative infinity ruins the score across the board, then so be it.
00:32:08
Speaker
no I agree. I will conform. No. No, don't. If you think it's two aardvarks, give it two aardvarks. We'll figure it out. Follow your heart.
00:32:19
Speaker
We'll figure it out. So that's ah that's Vibe. Kat, what is next? Next is action. Because as you said, action is crucial to a Bond movie. It is a thriller. It is a... There has to be some propulsive motion. He's a spy. He's got to get in scrapes. That's right. Someone's got to die. There's a bad guy who is the focal point of the badness. and That bad guy always needs to die because he's trying to make other people die. Yeah.
00:32:46
Speaker
So that's the action. What else we got, Christian? So one-liners. So we're I'm guessing what we're judging that as like, again, obviously subjective, but How awesome is that just little zinger that Vaughn puts? Exactly. Like the no more far play thing.
00:33:03
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the spoiler alert, that probably, well, tentatively, that's the best one-liner. We didn't have that in our, in our criteria, like our original lists of things, but. Although I, I will say, and we'll get into this in Dr. No, Dr. No only has one one-liner, but it's It has like two. It's a perfect one-liner. It is pretty good. They were on their way to a funeral. To a funeral. So good.
00:33:26
Speaker
ah So I will say i think those two are some of the core Bond things. Like if it was just an action movie, it would be anyone. But the action movie with the campy one-liner, that's what makes him cool. So is this like one to zero or like like how many Schwarzeneggers are we talking here i ah that's Out of Schwarzeneggers, that's a tough one. I think Bond one-liners trump Schwarzenegger one-liners.
00:33:56
Speaker
Whoa, whoa, even in Batman. please don't just disturb my friend here He's dead tired. as i think I think so, because Schwarzenegger one-liners work because they're Schwarzenegger.
00:34:07
Speaker
Bond one-liners work because they're Bond. It's bigger than a person. it's ah It's a character. It's like a Batman versus Bruce Wayne. Schwarzenegger is Bruce Wayne. Bond is Batman.
00:34:18
Speaker
Anybody could be Batman. They just need the mask is the idea. Okay, okay. Now I'm with see you. See, I have strong feelings about the Bond franchise. He does? No. oh All right. So after one-liners, we get the villain. and So the judging of the villain is pretty subjective.
00:34:37
Speaker
All of this is subjective. Let's just blanket that is it's subjective. The reason I'm saying that is because we're not basing. I'm thinking we're not going to judge them based on how evil they are, not on their success of what they were doing, not on how creepy they were. Just like good villain, bad villain. Yeah. How are they as a bill she as a villain?
00:34:56
Speaker
Yeah. Just effectiveness. Why you got to cut me down? why Because I'm your wife. that's And we vowed. We made a sacred vow to never let our britches get too big.
00:35:09
Speaker
ah That's amazing. Can we squeeze one here after villain for the for all of us? Ooh. Okay, so this is a trope that's more closely associated with Indiana Jones, which was, you know, George Lucas Spielberg's bond because they couldn't do one.
00:35:28
Speaker
The muscle. Like thoses the henchman? Yeah, like the muscle who's like the second in command. Because Jaws is not technically the villain. Baron Samadhi in Live and Let Die. And you've got Oddjob. And then, once again, the campy delights of the two dudes in Live and Let Die. That's true. I like this. I'm going to go ahead and add You are correct. The muscle deserves its own.
00:35:54
Speaker
Although Dr. Noe probably has like a mulligan. Yeah. It's like yeah who is it is it is it which which which racist series like it? which race i will say but that That's the villain. That's the muscle is the is the risk and the physicist the scientists That's true. The the news is a geologist.
00:36:11
Speaker
Oh, the doctor doctor Ernest I took I was taking notes like I was doing like a good running commentary when I was watching and I'm like, oh, it's Dr. Ernest people Yes.
00:36:24
Speaker
So I will say this. Not all villains have muscles. Specifically, Dr. No comes to mind. I don't think... But there's Henchmen. There's Henchmen. Okay. All right. Fine. Let's do it. Done.
00:36:36
Speaker
All right. Done, done, done. Thank you. So villain and muscle, which takes us to... what but foot Theme song. Theme song. think some Which again, not all of them have, like, did Dr. No even really have one? It did. It had the establishing song, I guess. But yeah, theme song. Yeah.
00:36:54
Speaker
It's he's not the mango tree song? Oh my gosh. My Honey and Me. It was a reference to Honey Rider the whole time. It was setting up Honey Rider. It's so meta. It's, well, you know, I appreciate a good, like, diegetic theme song.
00:37:08
Speaker
That's true. the question No, I think you're right though. It was really weird though, having not watched Dr. No. Sorry, we're not talking about that. Yeah, we got to put a pin in it. Put a pin in it. Okay. So, okay put on what we're judging on theme song. Are you a project manager, Kat?
00:37:24
Speaker
I should be. shes ah She does elementary school teaching in her daytime. Or middle school. Oh my gosh. How dare you? I would not touch an elementary school with five foot pole. It's because she's not allowed to. The judges said so. Anyway, moving on. We said we'd never speak of that again.
00:37:39
Speaker
So theme song is differentiated from opening credits. Yes. Because we can have a great theme song and terrible opening credits. And we can have great opening credits and a terrible theme song. That is very true.
00:37:53
Speaker
Or you can have a terrible theme song and hilarious opening credits. Yes. Looking at you, Spectre. I love how they all have these women that are totally not naked, but are 1000% naked.
00:38:05
Speaker
It's so funny. It adds in. Yeah. It adds in the spice of bond. It's good. They got body paint on. Sure. No, no, they don't. Some of them. know oh no No, I know. I know. Like, okay.
00:38:19
Speaker
No, like some of those old ones though, like, mm-hmm. No, I'm not going to say that. I don't want that on the internet. Okay. to I find myself curious. We'll leave your past in your past. I get it.
00:38:32
Speaker
So we're we're including in our list, by the way, we're including Never Say Never Again, even though it's not officially a Bond Bond movie. it's It's not an Eon Productions film. Yeah. um I would love to, at some point, maybe for a silly episode, watch Spy Hard.
00:38:49
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. Just because that might be my favorite theme song and opening credits. The opening credits that are beautiful. Movies by Howard!
00:39:01
Speaker
So good. OK, anyway, so. OK, so opening credits. We got it. Which brings us to? Bond perf performance. Which we've touched on a little bit.
00:39:13
Speaker
So. Yes. But just how does the Bond do? Is he bonding?
00:39:21
Speaker
I'm going to keep the silence in. I'm going to take it out. Look at that look she just gave me. She's going to murder me in my sleep tonight. No more foreplay.
00:39:33
Speaker
ah that's the best part.
00:39:38
Speaker
Christian is very uncomfortable right now. I'm so sorry. I said we wouldn't do it this time. That's what she said. All right. ah So Bond performance. We're talking about not acting capability.
00:39:51
Speaker
We're not talking about relative to other Bonds. We're talking about in the the universe of this movie specifically, how did James Bond show up? What was the Bond showing? Which is how we can have old Roger Moore be the worst while young Roger Moore is...
00:40:06
Speaker
the life Do you mean like the like the whole like throughout the whole film? Sorry, I I I heard like entrance or something like bond entrance. Sorry somehow that got into my brain It's like how does he appear on screen for the very oh like the moment? No. No, no, no. Or are you talking just overall?
00:40:21
Speaker
Yeah. Okay. But only within the context of the movie that he is in in that moment. After this, we've got cinematography. And the only reason I think cinematography is worth talking about is because some of the later ones are amazing. Oh, Skyfall's perfect. Skyfall's perfect.
00:40:35
Speaker
But, like, the cinematography does play into it. And cinematography, I think, Kat made a good point when we
Visual and Character Elements in Bond Films
00:40:39
Speaker
watched Dr. No, and that has to include not just camera placement and shot choice, but also set design and visual experience.
00:40:49
Speaker
So maybe not even just cinematography, but making a world of visuals. I don't know. Visuals? Should I replace cinematography with visuals? Does that make sense? The visual language.
00:41:00
Speaker
Visual language. Oh, I like that. There we go. Do you work with images by chance? I am a visual communicator. Oh boy. I, I had, I remember one of my very first jobs at an agency. There was a big old poster in the style of the uncle Sam saying, you are not an artist.
00:41:17
Speaker
oh Oh, geez. Was that BYU TV? No, this was just in, I don't know who made it. I don't even remember who was on it, but it looked like, uh,
00:41:29
Speaker
It like a Lucille Bluth, but it wasn't, but it was just this poster, but it was just someone, you know, cause designers technically we aren't because based on certain definitions, a cat will have words about this, but I, the, the the definition that I heard a long time ago was that art cannot exist for anything other than itself.
00:41:47
Speaker
Whereas design can become art, but it it is an in of itself, not art because it is a tool. It is a visual communication of some variety. Hmm.
00:41:59
Speaker
That's another topic for another time. Yeah, I'm just going grumble entirely at that, but it's fine. Debate the philosophical virtues of design versus art. a Visual language. Okay. That's where we're at. Let's move to our very last one.
00:42:12
Speaker
Bond girl. Yes. Which this is, okay, Christian, i would love to get your take on this. Okay. So I feel like many films have multiple Bond girls.
00:42:27
Speaker
Or is there just one established Bond girl and then a bunch of other people he sleeps with? So I totally agree that, you I'm just rewatching Dr. No. I was like, wow, OK, there's OK.
00:42:41
Speaker
I say we go by the ones that are. This is going to be really embarrassing. ah Put that back where I can't come. I called it. tip your pencil So we go by who is on the DVD oh space. I think that's very fair. And I'm going to say in response to this, yes, James Bond had some liaisons in Dr. No, because we've watched that recently. We'll get into this.
00:43:10
Speaker
When you think about Bond girls, you're know like, oh, remember that girl he met at the table when he was playing ah blackjack or whatever? be right No, no. yes It's Honey Rider. Literally, and like, who's the best Bond girl in Dr. No? There is only one Bond girl in Dr. No, it's Honey Rider. And she shows up for the last 20 minutes. Great. And she's still the Bond girl. Okay.
00:43:29
Speaker
Okay. Fair. On Her Majesty's Secret Service, that's going to be, well, we all know who it is, but... Bond is like overly promiscuous in that movie. Like that is like to the extreme. Yeah. Should we be keeping a body count?
00:43:46
Speaker
People have done that. We don't need to do that. Yeah, we don't need to. mean, who's who' is the most murderous Bond? Oh, like a literal body count. Either Daniel Craig or Timothy Dalton.
00:43:57
Speaker
Oh, yeah. ohof Yeah. All right. So license is to kill happyer to brutal. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10 categories out of an even hundred.
Conclusion and Future Plans
00:44:12
Speaker
Nice. i like it. Okay. So, so here's what we're going to do. We're going to watch these movies very willy nilly. Well, but in order. In order. but much Yeah, in order.
00:44:24
Speaker
We're not like setting aside every Thursday afternoon at four o'clock to watch a Bond movie. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit. You two people. Okay, can I say that one always bothered me.
00:44:36
Speaker
Get and fit do not rhyme. You get what you get and you don't get upset. But we're in Texas. You get what you get and you don't throw a fit.
00:44:46
Speaker
Okay. All right, we did it. So we will at some point be watching. Well, we weren't watch Dr. No. We're not doing it tonight, but we will soon be recording an episode after we figure out our mic situation.
00:44:58
Speaker
What? You don't like me staring into your eyes? This is going to be a nightmare to edit. just I'm sorry. no no, this is not your fault. it's It's not. We'll figure it out is the point. um So with that, happy bonding, I guess.
00:45:16
Speaker
And we'll see you in the next one. plum one back Bye, everybody.