What if a little bit of delusion might be exactly what you need to boost your confidence? As the kids these days say: “being delulu is the solulu!” 

Mary shares 4 mindset shifts– that some might consider “delusional”– but will do wonders for your confidence. 

You will learn how to... 
- lie to yourself in an empowering way lol 
- stop comparing yourself to others with one very simple mindset shift 
- break free from external validation and derive your confidence from within 
- balance self-trust with consistent, confident action-taking 
- release perfectionism and believe in yourself 

Especially for women, embracing a positive mindset is often the first rebellion against a world that profits off of our self-doubt. This isn’t about toxic positivity or lying to yourself in a way that’s avoidant. It’s about consciously choosing beliefs rooted in self-love that remind you that you are enough. Reclaim your self-esteem by choosing self-talk that inspires action and fuels your dreams, regardless of personal insecurities or cultural expectations. 

Remember: Confidence doesn’t always have to be logical. It just has to set you free. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love! We love women empowering women! 

Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books: 
1. The Gift of Self-Love [https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love], an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 
2. 100 Days of Self-Love [https://maryscupoftea.com/100-days-of-self-love], a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. 

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa [https://www.instagram.com/maryscupofteaa/] and @maryspodcast [https://www.instagram.com/maryspodcast/] 

Mentioned In This Episode... 
Ep. 212 How To Be Honest with Yourself [https://maryscupoftea.com/212-how-to-be-honest-with-yourself/] 
How Often Do People Lie? [https://www.uwlax.edu/currents/how-often-do-people-lie/] University of Wisconsin article 
Ep. 246: The Breakup That Paved My Self-Love Journey [https://maryscupoftea.com/ep-246-the-breakup-that-paved-my-self-love-journey/] 
@alok on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/alokvmenon/] 
Ep. 250: Productivity Advice Meets Self-Compassion with Oliver Burkeman [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKnGc9wtlm0] 
Useful Not True by Derek Sivers [https://sive.rs/u]

Ep. 254: Feeling Lost After ED Recovery and Befriending Like-Minded Women (Mary Gets Interviewed)

A personal solo episode where I (Mary) share my “small joys” i.e. little acts of self-care that have made a big difference. Each one has become a gentle anchor, a little nudge to remember who I am and what I need. And through them, I’m realizing how the act of keeping promises to myself—no matter how small—has become a declaration of self-worth.

You will hear about... 

 * 6 teeny tiny self-care practices that have made a big difference in my mental health
 * the books I’ve been reading lately (including my unpopular opinion about The Women by Kristin Hannah)
 * reflections on relationships and making new friends
 * how to cultivate a positive mindset

At the core of this episode is the idea that keeping promises to yourself is a declaration of self-worth. Every time you follow through on taking care of yourself, you are signaling that you are WORTHY of the time, energy, money, and attention self-care demands.

Tune in for a gentle invitation to remember that your life is YOURS to shape, nurture, and enjoy. A positive mindset could be just a small step away.

Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books:

1. The Gift of Self-Love [https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love], an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

2. 100 Days of Self-Love [https://maryscupoftea.com/100-days-of-self-love], a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa [https://www.instagram.com/maryscupofteaa/] and @maryspodcast [https://www.instagram.com/maryspodcast/]

If you’re craving more conversations like this—about self-care, mental health, positive mindset, relationships, women's empowerment, and living in alignment with your authentic self—make sure to subscribe to this self-love podcast and leave a review. Your support helps this show reach more women and spread the gift of self-love.

Mentioned In This Episode... 

 * Hilary Hahn performing J.S. Bach: Partita for Violin Solo No. 1 in B Minor, BWV 1002 - 4. Double (Presto) [https://youtu.be/iEBX_ouEw1I?si=-Or03KcuCXzUxeS0]
 * Ep. 243: How to Stay Hopeful, Joyful, and Soulful with Victoria Hutchins on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marys-cup-of-tea-the-self-love-podcast-for-women/id1495128359?i=1000700109664], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/episode/65fwCx9hAQudueWS3GLQN2?si=55dfc35fb7ba485d], and YouTube [https://youtu.be/52DgMCUUVuw?si=7y0n8xX2SGnv5fdn]
 * Ep. 234: Finding Myself in the Unlikeliest of Places (Cuba) on Apple [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/marys-cup-of-tea-the-self-love-podcast-for-women/id1495128359?i=1000684381672], Spotify [https://open.spotify.com/episode/05bmnU08KnKuATpfUtqfnb?si=b296b5f21f514c8a], and YouTube [https://youtu.be/hsVI_nuftjU]

Ep. 253: Small Acts of Self-Care That Help Nurture a Positive Mindset

Let’s talk about SEX, baby! Shan Boodram, a renowned sexologist and relationship educator, joins our self-love podcast to share powerful insights on how to feel sexy and confident in a long-term relationship. We explore the nuances of body-image insecurities and relationship dynamics, as Shan delivers her no-nonsense advice on how to feel sexy.

You will learn how to...

 * navigate body-image insecurities in the bedroom
 * bring up your sexual needs, wants, desires, and concerns without killing the vibe
 * navigate dry spells in a long-term relationship
 * channel your sex appeal and feel sexy in your skin
 * how to handle mix matched desires
 * reignite the “spark” in your relationship

Shan also answers some of the most common questions about sex and relationships, like:

 * They say couples should have sex at least once a week. Is this true?
 * Does scheduling sex kill the mood?
 * Do men have a higher sex drive than women?
 * If the spark is gone, does it mean the relationship is deteriorating?

Whether you’re committed, married, or want to be one day, this conversation is filled with female empowerment and relationship advice that will boost your confidence. Get ready to FEEL SEXY. 

Remember: A healthy long-term relationship gives you the freedom to be yourself. And THAT is sexy. 

Shan Boodram is an AASECT certified sex educator, an American Board of Sexology certified Sexologist, with a M.S. in psychology best known for her work on Netflix’s Too Hot to Handle and as the host of Lovers by Shan Podcast. She has mainstream coverage across all major media networks including: The Today Show, ABC Good Morning America, The Talk, The Real, and The View. Boodram hosted The Marriage Pact on The Roku Channel, Hung Up from Headspace Studios, Makeup or Breakup on Watch, Sexology with Shan Boodram on Quibi and she co-hosted Ex-Rated with Andy Cohen on Peacock. Boodram is a best-selling author of, “The Game Of Desire" (HarperCollins, '19) acclaimed by TIME, Apple, Glamour & Refinery29. She's written for Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, CBC, Playboy and InStyle. Shan is part owner of Arya - a subscription service for couples, she is also Bumble’s sex and relationship expert as well as a longstanding member of the National Coalition for Sexual Health. She recently released a class on MasterClass called The Art of Sex Appeal. Currently she lives in Los Angeles with her two daughters and husband Jared Brady. In the realm of modern intimacy and relationship education, Shan Boodram is not just a leader; she is a pioneer, constantly pushing boundaries since 2009 and inspiring millions to explore, understand, and celebrate the power of intimate connections. 

Follow Shan on Instagram @shanboodram [https://www.instagram.com/shanboodram] 

Learn more about Shan’s MasterClass here [https://www.masterclass.com/classes/the-art-of-sex-appeal?utm_source=instructor&utm_term=Aq-Prospecting&utm_content=referral&utm_campaign=sexappeal&utm_medium=organic]and her new jewelry line inspired by Kama Sutra [https://surmeyi.com/collections/kama] 

And if you're enjoying this self-love podcast, screenshot this episode and share it on social media!

Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @shanboodram

Mentioned In This Podcast... 

Taylor Tomlinson’s “Do It Like Craig” bit [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whxbQkJuqAE]

Ep. 252: How to Feel Sexy in a Long-Term Relationship with Sexologist Shan Boodram

What if a little bit of delusion might be exactly what you need to boost your confidence? As the kids these days say: “being delulu is the solulu!”

Mary shares 4 mindset shifts– that some might consider “delusional”– but will do wonders for your confidence. 

You will learn how to... 

- lie to yourself in an empowering way lol 

- stop comparing yourself to others with one very simple mindset shift 

- break free from external validation and derive your confidence from within 

- balance self-trust with consistent, confident action-taking 

- release perfectionism and believe in yourself 

Especially for women, embracing a positive mindset is often the first rebellion against a world that profits off of our self-doubt. This isn’t about toxic positivity or lying to yourself in a way that’s avoidant. It’s about consciously choosing beliefs rooted in self-love that remind you that you are enough. Reclaim your self-esteem by choosing self-talk that inspires action and fuels your dreams, regardless of personal insecurities or cultural expectations. 

Remember: Confidence doesn’t always have to be logical. It just has to set you free. If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love! We love women empowering women! 

Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books: 

1. The Gift of Self-Love [https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love], an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself. 

2. 100 Days of Self-Love [https://maryscupoftea.com/100-days-of-self-love], a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are. 

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa [https://www.instagram.com/maryscupofteaa/] and @maryspodcast [https://www.instagram.com/maryspodcast/] 

Mentioned In This Episode: 

Ep. 212 How To Be Honest with Yourself [https://maryscupoftea.com/212-how-to-be-honest-with-yourself/] 

How Often Do People Lie? [https://www.uwlax.edu/currents/how-often-do-people-lie/]University of Wisconsin article

 Ep. 246: The Breakup That Paved My Self-Love Journey [https://maryscupoftea.com/ep-246-the-breakup-that-paved-my-self-love-journey/] 

@alok on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/alokvmenon/] 

Ep. 250: Productivity Advice Meets Self-Compassion with Oliver Burkeman [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KKnGc9wtlm0] 

Useful Not True by Derek Sivers [https://sive.rs/u]

Ep. 251: Delusional Mindset Shifts that Will Instantly Boost Your Confidence

Have you ever felt overwhelmed by your to‑do list? This episode is truly the best productivity advice you'll ever receive because it's built on a foundation of self-compassion. It's  Oliver Burkeman exposes why mainstream time management hacks fail and how accepting your human finitude liberates you to be meaningfully productive.

You will learn how to...

 * redefine productivity beyond endless to‑do lists
 * ditch hustle culture, but still do what matters most
 * approach time management with self-acceptance and self-compassion
 * unlock mental shifts that free you from perfectionism, anxiety, and overwhelm
 * care about the world’s problems without succumbing to paralyzing despair

Remember: One day, you will die with an unfinished to-do list. No amount of productivity hacks will avoid that. Let this truth liberate you to focus on what truly matters and approach your workload with self-acceptance, self-compassion, and self-love.

OLIVER BURKEMAN is the acclaimed author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and Meditations for Mortals: Four Weeks to Embrace Your Limitations and Make Time for What Counts. His earlier works include The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking and HELP! How to Become Slightly Happier and Get a Bit More Done. For years, he penned the Guardian column “This Column Will Change Your Life,” and his writing has been featured in the Observer, The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Psychologies magazine, and New Philosopher. A former Brooklyn resident, Oliver now lives with his wife and son in England’s North York Moors.

Sign up for Oliver’s newsletter, The Imperfectionist [https://www.oliverburkeman.com/the-imperfectionist] Please get yourself copies of Four Thousand Weeks [https://amzn.to/3YfAP0t] and Meditations for Mortals [https://amzn.to/4cV3xKc]!!

And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast

Mentioned In This Episode...

 * Productivity for Self-Lovers, Ep. 125 on Mary's Cup of Tea Podcast [https://maryscupoftea.com/125-productivity-for-self-lovers/]
 * Elizabeth Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, Love [https://amzn.to/43ksbiX]
 * Elizabeth Gilbert's book, Committed [https://amzn.to/4j1SWOT]
 * Resonance: A Sociology of Our Relationship to the World [https://amzn.to/3YJ5eEs] by Hartmut Rosa
 * New York Times article on Novelty [https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/19/briefing/finding-novelty.html]
 * Slow Productivity [https://amzn.to/3GUgCY6] by Cal Newport
 * Are We Still Empathic if We Don't Take Action? [https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/social-empathy/202203/are-we-still-empathic-if-we-dont-take-action]

Ep. 250: Productivity Advice Meets Self-Compassion: Overcome Overwhelm and Perfectionism with Oliver Burkeman

Feeling stuck in a rut? Like you've lost your spark? You’re not alone. Many women experience moments where motivation seems to slip through their fingers, leaving them questioning their worth and purpose.

Using a balance of mindset shifts and practical advice, Mary will guide you to reigniting your sense of self-worth. Tune in to hear small self-love shifts will help you get your spark back.

You will learn how to... 

- release perfectionism and stop fantasizing about an unrealistic version of perfection 

- build confidence that is NOT based on external validation 

- practice mindfulness to strengthen your self-love 

- lean into a spirit of self-discovery 

- incorporate small self-love habits into your life that can lead to significant shifts in mindset

Remember: No one can take away what’s in your mind. Your mindset is always the one thing within your control. 

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with your friends to spread the gift of self-love!

Deepen your self-love journey with Mary’s books:

1. The Gift of Self-Love [https://maryscupoftea.com/gift-of-self-love], an interactive workbook that will help you build confidence, recognize your worth, and learn to finally love yourself.

2. 100 Days of Self-Love [https://maryscupoftea.com/100-days-of-self-love], a guided journal with 100 prompts to help you calm self-criticism and learn to love who you are.

This self-love podcast for women is here to help you love yourself. Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa [https://www.instagram.com/maryscupofteaa/] and @maryspodcast [https://www.instagram.com/maryspodcast/]

Mentioned In This Episode... The Choice by Dr. Edith Eger [https://amzn.to/4jI5E6r] Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl [https://amzn.to/42LUNCI] TikTok video with advice on how to get your spark back [https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTjD9kxL9/]

Ep. 249: 5 Self-Love Shifts to Get Your Spark Back If You’ve Lost It

If you’ve ever felt “out of control” around food—whether it’s binge eating and/ or constantly feeling guilty when you eat—this episode will help you release any residual shame you might be carrying. Mary sits down with therapist + nutritionist Ryann Nicole to unpack why binge eating recovery is less about food and more about how we relate to it.

You will learn... 

- a mantra for releasing food guilt

- why binge eating is not really about the food itself

- how to handle fear foods

- how to recover from disordered eating if you’re living with someone else and their foods can potentially trigger you

You’ll also walk away with hope and encouragement for wherever you are in your eating disorder recovery journey.

Ryann Nicole is a licensed therapist, certified nutritionist, and recovered binge eater. She’s known for revolutionizing how people heal their relationship with food—not with more rules or rigidity, but with simplicity, self-trust, and a massive perspective shift. Her signature mantra, “You don’t have to make it mean so much,” has become a lifeline for those learning to let go of shame, release perfectionism, and get back into living their life. Using her binge eating recovery story as the heart of her message and her clinical expertise as the backbone of her work, Ryann brings a refreshing, relatable voice to the wellness space, here to redefine what it means to live a healthy and fulfilling life.

Follow Ryann on Instagram: @itsryannnicole [https://www.instagram.com/itsryannnicole/?hl=en] 

Check out Ryann’s courses and programs for binge eating recovery: https://itsryannnicole.com/coaching

And if you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @itsryannnicole

Mentioned In This Episode... 

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron [https://amzn.to/4m9Z0I2] 

Video of Ryann’s toddler walking [https://www.instagram.com/p/DBjYydERfnX/]

Ep. 248: Binge Eating Isn’t Really About the Food with Nutritionist and Therapist Ryann Prentice

If you want to stop binge eating or recover from bulimia, then we must address the deeper emotional roots of disordered eating. Mary sits down for a Part 2 with eating disorder psychologist, Dr. Anita Johnston, author of Eating in the Light of the Moon. In Part 1, we talked about the spiritual side of eating disorder recovery. [https://maryscupoftea.com/150-hidden-meanings-in-disordered-eating-with-dr-anita-johnston/] Now in part 2, we zoom into the emotional layer beneath bulimia and binge eating. 

Dr. Johnston sheds light on the deeper emotional roots of disordered eating, especially the often-overlooked role of repressed anger and how learning to process it can be the key to lasting recovery. 

You will learn about... 
- common personality traits of those who struggle with disordered eating 
- the role of ANGER in eating disorder recovery 
- the ONE skill you need to effectively process anger 
- how storytelling and metaphors can help us heal from an eating disorder 
- how to address emotional patterns that lie beneath bulimia and binge eating

Dr. Johnston also shares how her very first psychology professor—THE Viktor Frankl, the author of Man’s Search for Meaning—inspired her approach to eating disorder recovery. 

Remember: Eating disorders are not about food. So to recover, we must explore the deeper layers of our struggle. 

Get Dr. Anita’s free Food Metaphor Guide here. [https://lightofthemooncafe.com/my-gift/] 

Anita Johnston, Ph.D., is a Depth Psychologist, Certified Eating Disorder Specialist, and author of Eating in the Light of the Moon: How Women Can Transform Their Relationships with Food Through Myth, Metaphor, and Storytelling, which has been published in seven languages. A pioneer in the field, Dr. Johnston has been treating eating difficulties and body image distress for over 35 years. She has developed eating disorder programs nationally and internationally and currently serves as Founder & Executive Director of ‘Ai Pono Hawaii Eating Disorders Programs [https://www.aipono.com/] which has a Residential Program in Maui. She is the co-creator of the Light of the Moon Café [https://lightofthemooncafe.com/], an online resource with interactive and self- study courses for women around the world. 

As a recognized international workshop presenter, Dr. Johnston lectures globally to professional organizations, conferences, universities, medical institutions, and the community at large and provides virtual consultations. She is best known for integrating metaphor and storytelling into her training as a clinical psychologist to explain the complex issues that underlie disordered eating behavior and other struggles with eating and body image. You can find Dr. Anita at https://dranitajohnston.com/ and follow Dr. Anita on Instagram: @dranitajohnston [/94fabcdd6ef547e1821184cc5ce91829?pvs=25]

Ep. 247: Understanding Hidden Layers of Bulimia and Binge Eating with ED Psychologist Dr. Anita Johnston

This episode is my honest reflection on a breakup that happened 7 years ago—long before I met my husband. It was a relationship that was equal parts toxic and transformative for my self-love journey. It ended up breaking my heart and somehow healing it, too. I’ve shared bits and pieces over the years, but today I’m telling you my full breakup story—not just for the sake of storytelling, but to offer you insights into what healing really looks like, especially after a hard breakup. Tune in for a vulnerable chat + breakup advice.

You will learn how to... 
- reclaim your identity after a toxic or codependent relationship 
- navigate the grey areas in relationships: where healing and hurt coexist 
- find strength in letting go of relationships that no longer serve you 
- embrace self-love through the pain of a breakup 

Remember: Healing is not about erasing the past—it’s about choosing how to carry it forward. 

And—hint hint—this episode gives you a big clue about the location of my next self-love retreat… Join the retreat priority list to get early access to all the details! [https://maryscupoftea.myflodesk.com/retreat] 

Follow Mary on IG: @maryscupofteaa [https://www.instagram.com/maryscupofteaa/] and @maryspodcast [https://www.instagram.com/maryspodcast/] 

Mentioned In This Episode... 
Martha Beck on The Mel Robbins Podcast [https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mel-robbins-podcast/id1646101002?i=1000685054130]

Ep. 246: The Breakup That Paved My Self-Love Journey

Let’s talk about how to help kids build a healthy relationship with food and their bodies. Whether they’re your own kids or perhaps your siblings/ nieces/ nephews/ students, then I’m sure you want to create a body positive environment for them. Psychotherapist Zoë Bisbing, MSW, LCSW is here to teach you HOW.

You will learn... 
- what to say if a child asks, “Am I fat?” 
- how to approach conversations about healthy eating and weight loss in developmentally-appropriated ways 
- what if your kid has a real health condition? how should parents approach their child’s food and weight then? 
- what to say to stop family members from commenting on your child’s weight 

Remember: building a body positive home starts with your own mindset first. As a parent, it’s important to heal your own beliefs about food, fat, weight, and health. 

Zoë Bisbing, MSW, LCSW is a licensed eating disorders therapist as well as a wonderful content creator. Zoë holds a Master of Social Work from New York University, a Bachelor of Arts from Smith College, and a certification in Family-Based Treatment from the Institute for Child and Adolescent Eating Disorders. She is the director of Body-Positive Therapy NYC and Body-Positive Home (formerly The Full Bloom Project), an educational resource offering workshops and body image workouts for the whole family. She loves teaching parents and professionals how to creatively build spaces where children of all ages, sizes, and gender expressions can naturally boost immunity to our appearance-obsessed culture and decrease risk for disordered eating and body image injury. 

Follow Zoë on Instagram: @mybodypositivehome [https://www.instagram.com/mybodypositivehome] 
Subscribe to her Substack [https://substack.com/@bodypositivehome?r=hlot0&utm_medium=ios] for more body positive parenting advice. 

If you enjoyed this episode, screenshot it and share it on social media! Make sure to tag @maryspodcast and @mybodypositivehome

Ep. 245: What to Say When a Kid Asks, “Am I Fat?” (And Other Tough Questions) with Zoë Bisbing, LCSW

Mary’s Cup of Tea is the self-love podcast for women. Your host Mary Jelkovsky covers topics surrounding self-love including body-image, confidence, self-worth, body positivity, mindset, mental health, feminism, relationships, and so much more. Along the way, Mary lets you in on her personal life, never shying away from the messy, raw, and real conversations that we all crave. So grab a cup of tea, slide in your headphones, and get ready for some self-lovin!

Mary Jelkovsky

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