It is very easy to get wrapped up in everything we need to do day to day. When we feel busy or overwhelmed it is natural to vent to people who lend an empathetic ear. Whether that is having too much on our plates. Or a difficult person or situation we might be dealing with.

Whatever the problem, most of us find it comforting to have a calm presence to turn to - a caring spouse, a trusted colleague or a patient friend who is happy to let us get things off our chest or maybe offer a different perspective. I think of such people as an oasis, not just in times of crisis, but in the day to day business of living life, with its inherent ups and downs.

It doesn't hurt to reflect on how we can be that nurturing presence to others. If we want to build a more compassionate world with greater mutual understanding, there is no better place to start than with ourselves. Certainly we can all show kindness through outward acts. This could mean volunteering our time in local communities. Or donating to charities that have global reach. It may be through work that helps others or helps the planet as a whole. 

But surprisingly what is often harder than these outward acts, is sustaining an inner equilibrium while we deal with smaller, everyday things in life. So how can we train ourselves to maintain presence? How can we be an oasis for others? Here are a few ideas. See full transcript here. [https://happen.substack.com/]

Photo credit: Benjamín Gremler

Be an oasis - create more harmony at work and home

Although the Covid pandemic has thankfully passed, we continue to learn a lot about its toll on virtually every country around the world.  The pandemic came with a shared sense of helplessness and fear.  It shone a light on mental health as anxiety levels spiked. But even before Covid, anxiety was on the rise, and many people will continue to struggle with it in the future.



Of course, anxiety is a spectrum, with those on the mild end experiencing it in passing, and those on the severe end being debilitated by it. Until recently, doctors and therapists relied on tools such as medications and cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) to help patients manage anxiety. This was the case for Dr. Jud Brewer, a psychiatrist and neuroscience researcher at Yale and Brown universities, who uses these tools in his own practice. But he has also successfully incorporated mindfulness into his work. See full transcript here. See full transcript here. [https://happen.substack.com/]



Photo credit: Ben Mathis Seibel

A mindful look at anxiety - escaping the worry habit loop

If we were to look back in time a few centuries, we would see that so called “commoners” were going about their lives knowing they had little chance of joining the aristocratic classes. We have come a long way since then. Though socioeconomic barriers and inequalities persist, we now aspire to a world where anyone, with enough grit and talent, can become anything they set their mind to.

This message is central to our increasingly meritocratic societies the world over. It has its benefits and has provided tremendous opportunity where in the past there would have been oppression. More people can fulfill their potential and work their way towards a better quality of life. But is this core tenet of meritocracy true and what does it take, individually and collectively, to make it true? How has it shaped our notions of personal success and failure? See full transcript here. [https://happen.substack.com/]

Photo credit: Florian Schmetz

Redefining success - the benefits of a gentler approach to life

The idea of mindfulness, and related practices like yoga and meditation, has become more mainstream in recent years. From boardrooms to classrooms, sports fields to hospitals, the notion of working with our minds is not so foreign anymore. And yet translating these ideas into consistent action is where many of us get stuck.

If we are honest, we are often better at reading articles, listening to podcasts or watching videos on these topics, than we are at making time to be alone with our thoughts. So what holds us back from doing the hard work of actively taking care of our minds?  See full transcript here. [https://happen.substack.com/]

Photo Credit: Keegan Houser

Befriend your mind - how to find your calmer self

Whether we like it or not, life is full of change, both in the world around us and within our own lives. Most of us have a love hate relationship with change. We crave novelty, but too much change, too often can also feel de-stabilizing. With so much political, economic and environmental turmoil in the world right now, how can we maintain inner stability? How do we stay centered day to day, when it feels like the ground is always moving?

Photo Credit: Harry Cunnigham

Inner stability - how to stay grounded in difficult times

We all know the power of good stories and we humans seem wired to build our lives around them. Throughout our history, our species has relied on oral tradition to share information, pass down knowledge and teach morality through myths and legends.

And every day each of us is writing our own stories. Our brains like to weave narratives out of daily events and fit them into a bigger storyline, in an attempt to make sense of life.

The trouble is, we also like stories to be tidy, for protagonists to solve their problems, for endings to offer a sense of closure. But the variability of real life means that many things remain unresolved. See full transcript here. [https://happen.substack.com/]

Photo credit: Kalen Emsly

Staying Power - Learning to Tolerate Discomfort

It's safe to say that without a crystal ball, none of us know for sure how long our lives will be. Hence the expression, life is short, because in many ways it is indeed quite fleeting. Yet for some, life can also be long. Could we all embrace the secrets of people in the world who have lived the longest and healthiest lives? Maybe some of us dread living until a 100, because we imagine ourselves to be frail, bed ridden or not in control of our faculties.

But what if we could lead active lives into our triple digits, full of warmth, connection, laughter and best of all, a sharp mind. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it? Well, that's exactly what many of the centenarians in the so called 'Blue Zones' are doing. These zones are areas of the world that seem to consistently have the highest concentration of people living into their nineties or past one hundred.

See full transcript here. [https://happen.substack.com/]Photo credit: Hector Reyes

Life is long: How centenarians stay young at heart

With Donald Trump on the cusp of taking the presidential oath - again - there is no end of analysis about why or how this could have happened. And certainly enough finger pointing and blame to go around. Plenty has been written about broader culpability, but we are where we are, so perhaps it is better to look at why our societies willingly give personalities like Trump so much power and credence.

After all, without his cadre of enablers, the narcissist-in-chief would not be able to move his agenda forward. And therein lies both the problem and the solution - narcissists and all manner of other antagonistic personalities are only as powerful as the attention and control we collectively allow them to have. See full transcript here. [https://happen.substack.com/]

Photo credit: Tabrez Sayed

From the Oval Office to the Playground- how to stop fuelling narcissistic behaviour

We are ushering in a new year, fresh with possibilities. Around the world, leaders are changing hands, for better or for worse. With change, also comes uncertainty and sometimes the revival of old wounds or long standing grudges.



As U.S. President, Joe Biden, despite all his known faults, prepares to leave office, it's safe to say that he was clearly a different kind of leader than his predecessor. Specifically in terms of the civility he brought to the job. Despite myriad crises and so much acrimony, Biden continues to speak of healing and somehow manages to remain positive. That's possibly despite, or perhaps because of, the great personal tragedies he has endured.



It's also possible that a remarkably long political career, rather than making him cynical, has seasoned and humbled him, allowing him to let go of grudges and reach across party lines to do what needs to be done.  Someone who might otherwise have settled into a quieter life, made one last attempt to re-imagine his country as it could be. 



With his predecessor set to return to office once again, history books may yet write of Biden's naivete and misplaced faith in bipartisanship. But he has done one thing that is likely to be remembered, regardless of what his legacy becomes — he has set a tone at the top that demonstrates a belief in the value of empathy and civil discourse. A tone that is likely to take a sharp turn upon his exit.



Whether in politics, business or other aspects of life, kindness, while applauded in theory, is sometimes seen as weakness in practice.  In a world that often rewards power and aggression, where do warmth and decency fit in?  Does it make sense to take the high road, turn the other cheek— let bygones be bygones?

See full transcript here [https://happen.substack.com/]

Photo credit: Kostiantyn-Li

Leave Grudges Behind - How to Start the New Year with a Clean Slate

Right now in the Northern Hemisphere most of us are in the midst of a change of season. The hot days of summer days, along with school holidays and vacation travel, are behind us. We are in the thick of autumn, refocused on work, school routines, or personal projects. And already, there are hints of cooler weather, with winter just around the corner.

Each time the seasons change, we can take a cue from nature to reflect on how life is ever changing. Transitions, whether seasonal, personal or professional, can come with mixed emotions. By embracing seasonal living, we can welcome change into our lives and the full range of emotions that come with it. See full transcript here. [https://happen.substack.com/publish/post/151905632]

Photo Credit: Johannes Plenio

To everything there is a season - embracing the ever changing nature of life

The Gist is a podcast from happen.world that aims to give you the gist of interesting ideas about life, the universe and everything!

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