Transcript
Speaker: Hello everyone, and welcome to Convos with Jordan, the podcast where I, Jordan Keith, interview and introduce you to people pursuing their dreams, living authentically, and self-actualizing to their true selves.
Speaker: Guests discuss their unique experiences, trials, and tribulations that they have overcome, shape them into who they are today, and where they are headed next on their life's journey.
Speaker: On our solo episodes, I'll draw upon personal experiences from my own life, concepts from the self-improvement community, and topics revolving around success and inspirational ideas so that you can become the person you want to be.
Speaker: Thanks for tuning in on this journey.
Speaker: Hey, everyone.
Speaker: Welcome back to the podcast.
Speaker: This week's episode features Allie Cottle, a published children's book author, certified life coach, and
Speaker: host of the Welcome Home Real Estate Podcast and top producer at Briggs, Freeman, Sotheby's International Realty.
Speaker: In this episode, Allie details her journey from Texas to New York, to LA, and back to Dallas.
Speaker: How each of these places have shaped her as both a creative and a real estate professional.
Speaker: She reveals how Cinnamon, the main character of her children's book, Cinnamon Goes Over the Edge, came to her and her writing partner in the most unexpected of ways.
Speaker: Allie and Jordan discuss how the path to fulfillment comes with many twists and turns and how Dallas is energetically in the middle of New York and LA.
Speaker: You can follow Allie on Instagram and TikTok at Allie Cottle.
Speaker: Listen to the Welcome Home podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts and purchase Cinnamon Goes Over the Edge online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble,
Speaker: Target, or wherever you purchase books online.
Speaker: Follow us on Instagram at comboswithjordan to further connect with our guests.
Speaker: Links are in the description of this episode.
Speaker: I hope you enjoy the episode.
Speaker: Hey everyone, welcome back to the podcast, Convice with Jordan.
Speaker: I'm here today with my friend Allie Cottle.
Speaker: Allie Cottle is a certified life coach, a published children's book author, a real estate agent, and a fellow podcaster.
Speaker: So she's going to be talking about quite a bit.
Speaker: She's laughing over here right now.
Speaker: So Allie, why don't you introduce yourself a little bit and let the listeners know who you are in your own words.
Speaker: Thank you, Jordan.
Speaker: Well, I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker: I'm honored to be a guest.
Speaker: Jordan and I met at the dog park.
Speaker: I've heard a lot of people be like, yeah, good friends come out of the dog park.
Speaker: It definitely did.
Speaker: So thank you for having me.
Speaker: I'm really impressed with you and everything you've done.
Speaker: We always have really amazing conversations and I miss you at the dog park because we would like talk really deeply and be like, oh, okay.
Speaker: We're just talking about everything there could be before we've even had coffee.
Speaker: Yeah, so thank you for having me.
Speaker: I'm Allie Caudill.
Speaker: I am originally from Texas, Dallas, Lubbock, mostly.
Speaker: And then I was in New York for five years and LA for five and a half years.
Speaker: And I just moved back to Dallas in 2020.
Speaker: And yeah, I work for Sotheby's International Realty with my mother.
Speaker: I'm a partner with her in Dallas.
Speaker: And then, yeah, we just wrote a book, Cinnamon Goes Over the Edge.
Speaker: We can get into that later with my writing partner of 12 years, 12 years.
Speaker: And she's in New York City.
Speaker: I met her.
Speaker: I was her nanny.
Speaker: Oh, really?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And now we're very best friends.
Speaker: And yeah, the life coaching, yeah, I got certified through an incredible program that I would recommend to anyone.
Speaker: We can get into that later too.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So thank you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think it's really amazing.
Speaker: We've talked about these kind of diversity of experiences people have.
Speaker: Moving here to Dallas, you can at times, or I felt...
Speaker: there's a lot of people here doing amazing things, but it's different than when you've been in a major city like New York and LA.
Speaker: And for yourself, we've talked about, yeah, I think we've always loved connecting on our New York past, right?
Speaker: Yeah, we have.
Speaker: I mean, you know, talking about like similar places or whatever.
Speaker: And what do you think, because when did you, because you went to college here in Texas, right?
Speaker: And then you moved immediately to New York.
Speaker: And what do you think some of the biggest differences, you know, you always hear, what is it in the
Speaker: you know wear sunscreen song they're like oh live in new york you know but leave before it makes you hard live in california before it and leave before it makes you soft so what are some of those lessons i guess that you've picked up there's never been a more true statement that's like the most true thing um that's a great question um like what are the differences you think yeah and what you've picked up personally in your own experiences i love this question
Speaker: Yeah, so New York, I arrived.
Speaker: And what I realized about that is I was fresh off the boat from Texas, and I was 21 years old.
Speaker: And nobody trusted me at first, and I was so confused.
Speaker: And then I realized months later, my friends were like, I didn't trust you at first because you were so nice, and no one is that nice.
Speaker: But then we realized Texans really are kind of nice.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I was like, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We really are.
Speaker: I mean, in general, warmer, warmer people that really have good intentions and like neighborly, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So New York, what I picked up on there is work ethic, drive, ambition, the hustle, and appreciating what that really meant.
Speaker: Because when you're on top of the world there, you know, you're on top of the world if you're in New York City.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You got to move and shake.
Speaker: But I also think that the city...
Speaker: has that natural energy that you kind of take on when you're there.
Speaker: It's like a drug.
Speaker: And I think that that stayed in my heart.
Speaker: Is that just like, let's go.
Speaker: Life is great.
Speaker: Hustle, go, go, go.
Speaker: And I love that actually.
Speaker: But also there's just like a level of inspiration that New York, I think, can awaken in a soul in terms of creativity and emotional intelligence.
Speaker: And street smartness, whatever that word is, that definitely I needed.
Speaker: I was very naive when I first moved there.
Speaker: I learned a lot.
Speaker: I grew a lot.
Speaker: I was a lot stronger.
Speaker: So I'm thankful for that.
Speaker: It definitely, I left New York when I was 27.
Speaker: And I looked like I was 90 years old when I left.
Speaker: Like I definitely looked older than I was.
Speaker: You know, like it had worn me down.
Speaker: I think you felt older because you don't remember when we first got out.
Speaker: I look younger now than I did when I left at 27.
Speaker: Like, I'll show you.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: Like, I looked tired.
Speaker: But I was working, like, three jobs, hustling, just hustling.
Speaker: And then, yeah.
Speaker: So that's New York.
Speaker: And then Los Angeles.
Speaker: L.A.
Speaker: was really hard for me at first because slowing down, I think, is hard.
Speaker: I think it's actually – I don't – do you agree with that?
Speaker: Downshifting.
Speaker: Downshifting is hard, right?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I agree with that because you're used to going to such a fast pace.
Speaker: And like you said earlier, like, oh, on the Enneagram, I'm a type seven.
Speaker: We're just addicted to always being high.
Speaker: So New York and I are aligned.
Speaker: We're like, let's go party.
Speaker: In LA, I was like, come on, everyone, wake up.
Speaker: You know, it's like more of a nine.
Speaker: Like everyone's like, peacemaker, chill.
Speaker: And I'm like, I feel like...
Speaker: Not enough coffee in the world could wake the city up in a weird way.
Speaker: But it was good.
Speaker: I needed to slow down.
Speaker: So L.A.
Speaker: taught me how to slow down, get present, get in my body.
Speaker: I started – that's when I really got into spirituality and studying meditation.
Speaker: That's when I became a life coach.
Speaker: Was in L.A.
Speaker: And, I mean, I learned a lot about myself in that city.
Speaker: Also, like –
Speaker: um who you can trust and all that kind of stuff but also met incredible real angel friends from LA um but yeah it was I was done when when COVID happened I was sitting there I was like my time's up here and it's time to go I think Dallas I know it's geographically in the middle but I think it's you know energetically in the middle as well
Speaker: I would agree with that too and how I feel.
Speaker: I mean, you even see it too.
Speaker: Like you see a lot of West Coast brands out here, but you see a lot of things like coming, you know, now from New York as well.
Speaker: I think like, you know, like Carbone just came in.
Speaker: People make a big deal of that in Dallas.
Speaker: And like you and I were like, oh, it's probably not the same because it's not.
Speaker: But you see a lot of those like energetically, I think you see like kind of that mix between East and West here, which is nice.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: Yeah, like we have an entrepreneurial drive and spirit and everyone really works hard, but we know how to turn it off in a healthy way and have a balanced life.
Speaker: But we're also not like
Speaker: chilling like hot that bitch smoking weed you know like it's like we're actually like we're trying to do stuff too but we're like grounded you know yeah yeah but I think that's interesting so like in New York were you trying to act at that point too because like both cities are big acting cities right yeah no I originally I moved to New York I graduated early from college because I got a job doing PR in-house with Christian Dior
Speaker: Oh, really?
Speaker: Yup.
Speaker: And that's another thing I loved about New York was fashion.
Speaker: Because I am obsessed with the New York street fashion.
Speaker: Like, you know, vintage, fashion forward, I just like, I love it.
Speaker: And I lost, I don't think LA is actually like that.
Speaker: I think LA is like more yoga, like high-end yoga clothes and then like super bougie like heels and dresses.
Speaker: There's not
Speaker: You know, so I like New York street culture, fashion culture.
Speaker: So that's why I thought I wanted to be in fashion.
Speaker: Moved there, worked for Dior, did that, ended up getting hired to be a fashion editor at a fashion magazine called Bullet.
Speaker: That kind of folded and then was doing other PR stuff.
Speaker: And then one day I was just like, my true dream is to be an actress.
Speaker: I've never told anyone this.
Speaker: I'm just going to do it.
Speaker: And I quit my job, started waiting tables, never waited a table in my life until like 22.
Speaker: and um started waiting tables and I went to an acting conservatory in Chelsea for a year and a half and like studied the art you never told me that before that's super cool yeah that was a really hard call with my mom and dad I was like yeah because you know I was like creating a really cool fashion PR fashion identity and I was like I quit I'm a waitress now
Speaker: in Ludlow and I'm going to acting school.
Speaker: And they're like, what?
Speaker: We always told you to chase your dreams but we didn't know you would like be.
Speaker: Go for it.
Speaker: Because I'm sure they always knew you're a free spirit, more creative type of person, right?
Speaker: But they're like, oh, you're just going all out into it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's a lot.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But yeah, studied acting and like really studied it with like genius.
Speaker: One of my favorite teachers was an 80 year old man named Greg Malevy, famous Broadway actor, and he changed my life.
Speaker: I learned how to listen.
Speaker: Acting taught me life skills that I just am so thankful for.
Speaker: And then, you know, in New York, I feel like acting was really an art form.
Speaker: New York is just like an art culture and L.A.
Speaker: is more commercialized and like, you know, we all know that.
Speaker: It has a little bit of a facade to it.
Speaker: Yeah, it's more about the business and that's obviously essential.
Speaker: It just made it really hard, like that joy of like creating kind of
Speaker: went away and then it just became so competitive that I got really depressed.
Speaker: So I know one of your questions is like, how did I get into life coaching?
Speaker: Extreme depression and lost and purposeless at like 28.
Speaker: So year after of being in LA.
Speaker: And I think it's interesting, like this compare and contrast that you just had with New York, you're like, people are gritty, it's this way.
Speaker: But you felt like more in alignment with a passion of something.
Speaker: Whereas LA, people are more carefree, but at the same time, it's super competitive.
Speaker: And I think that's very interesting, that contrast that you just kind of like mentioned.
Speaker: Yeah, that is interesting.
Speaker: I've never really thought about it like that.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah, that's actually perplexing.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: And it's kind of, it's like under the radar, right?
Speaker: Like in New York, it's in your face, that intensity, that competition.
Speaker: So it kind of like you don't have a choice.
Speaker: You show up in an LA, that competition and that drive is subtle and harder to understand and navigate.
Speaker: And I guess that's how you got started in life coaching because you were feeling that and that's probably dragging you down energetically, emotionally, right?
Speaker: So... Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I was like broke.
Speaker: I had just broken up with my ex and I had moved from New York to LA together and we were really unhappy.
Speaker: And so we separated and I was like, you know, acting was... It wasn't working.
Speaker: I'd been on many interviews.
Speaker: I had, you know, representation in New York and was working a lot there.
Speaker: And I just thought...
Speaker: I'll just show up and I'll do it too.
Speaker: It's not that hard.
Speaker: And, you know, a lot of, I had a lot of meetings, but it's like, change your name, change your voice, get a boob job, get it, like all this stuff.
Speaker: Dye your hair blonde maybe.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I was like, you know what?
Speaker: I know who I, I don't, you know, I have a lot to discover.
Speaker: I'm really lost right now, but at my core, I've been instilled with strong values from great parents and growing up in Texas and like.
Speaker: As a Texan.
Speaker: As a Texan, like I'm good.
Speaker: Like I'm out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Also, it just wasn't working.
Speaker: And so I think after a year and a half of just kind of beating your head against the table, I was like, okay, I can change.
Speaker: I can change.
Speaker: I can redefine myself.
Speaker: I've done it before.
Speaker: I can do it again.
Speaker: So I did.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And do you think you mentioned with acting, you picked up some like listening skills.
Speaker: Do you think that built empathy in a way that helps and transition naturally to being a life coach and listening to people?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I think when you like truly study the art of acting, you're you have to learn how to disassociate from your ego.
Speaker: And in doing so, it allows you to step into a space and truly channel human life.
Speaker: compassion, empathy, understanding, getting out of your own way and putting yourself in someone's shoes.
Speaker: So one billion percent, yes.
Speaker: Yeah, apart from acting.
Speaker: And like presence, you know, being present, truly listening, tuning out the outside world, tuning out your own ego, not thinking, oh, how can I like respond to you so that –
Speaker: like no like what do you need to hear how can I get out of my own way to listen to what a higher power wants to come through like connect you to your own self right higher self and for some people more so me it's like oh what's the universe telling you or what's like these type of things right and it can be hard to mute all of that especially nowadays with what monkey brains yeah yeah so they're called in psychology yeah
Speaker: The monkey brains.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They're noisy little things.
Speaker: And do you see that a lot?
Speaker: Because I'm sure like men, women, you probably coach.
Speaker: And do you see kind of facets?
Speaker: You know, it might all be the same like diamond or jewel or whatever, but you see different facets of this.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Oh, for sure.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think our society like in it's making it worse with like this instant gratification society, our phones, instinct, you know, it's like our brain chemistry is not.
Speaker: actually created to keep up with that pace of instant gratification and instant response.
Speaker: And it makes us anxious and depressed.
Speaker: And then when you feel anxious and depressed, your monkey mind is more susceptible to take over.
Speaker: Yeah, it's noisy.
Speaker: And that's fear.
Speaker: It's just more fear based.
Speaker: And to truly step out of that requires a great deal of meditation, a meditation practice, a consistent long term meditation practice to become the observer of your thoughts.
Speaker: So once you can become the observer of your thoughts, then you can choose them.
Speaker: But, you know, it's like NASDAQ.
Speaker: It's like constant scrolling, random, random, random.
Speaker: And then once you like observe it, you can be like, wait, that was a good thought.
Speaker: I'm going to take that or that was a bad thought.
Speaker: Let that go.
Speaker: A great book on that is Michael Singer and the Untethered Soul.
Speaker: That was required reading for me in my studies and that book changed my life on how to become an observer of thoughts.
Speaker: And so that's how you disassociate from monkey brain or not disassociate.
Speaker: And that's how you conquer the monkey brain.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And overcome it.
Speaker: And maybe it's something where you're not forcing to at the same time where you're releasing.
Speaker: Like we mentioned earlier, like I've been through EMDR, which is very much dissociation.
Speaker: And that's a form of letting go or perhaps untethering.
Speaker: Untethering.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I think it's important to explore all kinds of different facets of tools for mental health.
Speaker: And I've recently let go of therapy.
Speaker: I've been in therapy regularly for many years.
Speaker: Yeah, for like three and a half years.
Speaker: And I just kind of hit a point where I was like, I need a coach now.
Speaker: So now I'm working with a success coach, Vinny Shorman, a wonderful, incredible man in London.
Speaker: And he was like a Thai boxer.
Speaker: So now it's like super masculine coaching, like, no, go, let's go, let's go, let's go.
Speaker: Instead of like, you know, it's like very different energy.
Speaker: So you just kind of have to move with what your body needs.
Speaker: Because if you've experienced trauma, you shouldn't go to a coach, you should go to a therapist or psychologist.
Speaker: And then if you're good and in a healthy place, and you want to level up, don't go to your therapist.
Speaker: go to a coach, like get pushed.
Speaker: And it's just EMDR is that same thing.
Speaker: Like it found me in an important time in my life.
Speaker: And I would say it had one of the greatest impacts in my wellness journey of anything I've ever done.
Speaker: But, you know, like, you know, we've talked about it.
Speaker: I think you find these things at the right time.
Speaker: Like I probably wouldn't have been ready for that until the time was right.
Speaker: And I agree, like, with my own experience with it.
Speaker: And it's kind of like what you're saying.
Speaker: I feel what you're saying is like, hey, if you need to survive, go to therapy.
Speaker: But if you need and you want to thrive, you need someone more like a coach or someone who's going to push you in this way.
Speaker: That's not going to be like, OK, it's going to be OK.
Speaker: But go out there and do whatever it is you want to do.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I think there is such thing of like you can overanalyze things.
Speaker: And then that can be this thing called paralysis of analysis.
Speaker: And then you're stuck in that space of always constantly overanalyzing.
Speaker: It's like, no, just come on.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: But then for years I needed to analyze a lot of things.
Speaker: But yeah, just go with the waves of your life.
Speaker: and to feel that growth and everything too and I think it helps having all these different experiences right because you've kind of lived a lot of different versions of yourself I feel yeah I have yeah no I have it's interesting I was talking to my boyfriend about that today like um I love Gabrielle Bernstein Gabby Bernstein do you know her
Speaker: No, I do not.
Speaker: She's great.
Speaker: She's an American spiritual activist.
Speaker: She's from New York City.
Speaker: She's very, she's done it so well of like the modern woman, just so like a normal woman who's a spiritual activist.
Speaker: She's not like on a pillow on top of a mountain, you know, she's very real.
Speaker: And I've read every single one of her books.
Speaker: I listen to her podcast regularly.
Speaker: I love her so much.
Speaker: And she is
Speaker: I was recently talking about internal family systems and in IFS labeling different parts of yourself can be healthy.
Speaker: Like, you know, for me, I think some one of my sides is like the gypsy artist, like this girl that wants to be barefoot in the fields with flowers.
Speaker: But when I was fully in her, she wasn't paying the bills.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, but it's also if I'm like in full real estate entrepreneur mode, she gets neglected and then I get kind of like run down and sad.
Speaker: So it's like now that I know her and I can label her, now I can understand her.
Speaker: She lives within me.
Speaker: If I deny her, she'll flare up.
Speaker: If I let her run the show, I won't succeed on planet Earth.
Speaker: So it's kind of like this allowing these these aspects of ourself to like be.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I mean, I do know what you mean.
Speaker: It's because we do have different aspects to ourselves and different roles that we either wear or I've heard there is, you know, people say we wear several masks throughout our lives.
Speaker: And, you know, to bring it back to acting, maybe you need to be this like, you know, like be grounded, like, OK, I need to go out and I need to have a successful career where I'm earning money and I need to go and either like help people buy or sell homes.
Speaker: At the same time, is that really nurturing and what drives you?
Speaker: Is that bringing you fulfillment?
Speaker: Mm hmm.
Speaker: Yeah, we did mask work in acting school.
Speaker: And that's really it is interesting.
Speaker: And, you know, our society is an interesting place and it's where we live.
Speaker: So like you have to play by the rules.
Speaker: And for a long time, I didn't want to play by the rules, but then you won't succeed.
Speaker: So how do you balance it all out?
Speaker: And I think you have to find your core truth, your gift, your purpose, and it's going to have different masks.
Speaker: And it's kind of like you tune into a certain frequency, whichever room you're in.
Speaker: So you're always, you're always true.
Speaker: You're always authentic, but it's like, okay, if I'm in real estate, there's this mask.
Speaker: If you're in
Speaker: You know, hosting, if I'm doing like a coaching session, that's a different mask, but it's not, it's more like tuning into different frequencies, you know, and like just honoring the space in the room.
Speaker: So it's not compartmentalizing, it's just like adapting.
Speaker: to those circumstances because you do wear a lot of different hats.
Speaker: Real estate, I know your podcast, I've listened to a few episodes, focuses on real estate.
Speaker: And obviously life coaching and you've written a children's book as well.
Speaker: And there's probably like something core there.
Speaker: Like you said, these are different frequencies, but you're tuning with the same radio.
Speaker: Yes, yeah.
Speaker: No, it's true.
Speaker: And I think a lot of it, you know, it's funny because it all kind of like clicked at once.
Speaker: And I've heard that from a lot of other people, you know, throughout my life.
Speaker: Like, so, you know, the acting has all that was like started.
Speaker: You learn a lot from that.
Speaker: The life coaching that started, learn a lot from that.
Speaker: Writing, I've been writing professionally since I was 24.
Speaker: Nothing ever came to fruition.
Speaker: Still with my same writing partner.
Speaker: That's what took me to L.A.
Speaker: was an option screenplay with William Morris Endeavor.
Speaker: And, you know, so it's interesting.
Speaker: And then real estate, I ended up getting into I've always loved business.
Speaker: I love PR.
Speaker: I love emailing.
Speaker: Like I actually am obsessed with emailing, which is strange.
Speaker: So I'm in the right business.
Speaker: I am obsessed with humans, human experience, connectedness, communication,
Speaker: So I think like real estate kind of encompasses all of that in a way where it's like it's really about the human being and their journey and honoring them and listening to them and guiding them.
Speaker: But it's also like in a more entrepreneurial business way.
Speaker: And then with that freedom came this like need to kind of like have a creative outlet.
Speaker: But the book started during quarantine.
Speaker: So when I was doing nothing in California, I was like, OK, I got to do something.
Speaker: My brain's about to explode.
Speaker: So my writing partner started writing that book.
Speaker: Then it just took two.
Speaker: It took six weeks to write, two years to publish.
Speaker: And then yeah, my podcast, it definitely was like coming from a place of like wanting to communicate a different aspect of real estate that I wasn't seeing, which is like the human oriented relationship aspect of it.
Speaker: So yeah, it all kind of like culminated at once.
Speaker: And I owe a lot of that to Dallas.
Speaker: all this kind of culmination, do you feel like, obviously we both know Dallas has increased a little bit, but it's a way more affordable city than New York and LA, which I enjoy.
Speaker: I'm sure several people who've moved here do as well.
Speaker: But like you said, it's a little bit more laid back at the same time and you have a little bit more space to think because I think in such busy cities as New York and LA,
Speaker: Was quarantine helpful in that way for you?
Speaker: Were you able to tune into yourself?
Speaker: I struggled with that and I really wasn't doing that personally.
Speaker: Well, I was an event manager at Sunset Tower Hotel and it was just me and my partner at that time.
Speaker: She and I were running the biggest events in the world by ourselves.
Speaker: And so we had just done the Oscars where we did Warner Brothers for 2000, Vanity Fair Dinner, like Six Course for 100 and Tom Ford, like all at the same time.
Speaker: So I hadn't slept in like months.
Speaker: And then COVID happened literally like three weeks later.
Speaker: So at the time I was so burnt out from running events.
Speaker: And God, I love it.
Speaker: It was like the best time of my life.
Speaker: It helped me grow so much.
Speaker: I always said to my mom, like,
Speaker: I wouldn't be as good of a partner as I am if I wouldn't have had that experience.
Speaker: And it was magical and hard and wonderful.
Speaker: I had the best boss ever there.
Speaker: Shout out to Jen Wade.
Speaker: But yeah, COVID, so it was a blessing, honestly, in a weird way.
Speaker: It helped me slow down.
Speaker: I was just, I was working like 75 hours a week.
Speaker: And so it was kind of like, okay, I can kind of get back to like, who am I?
Speaker: What do I want?
Speaker: And my friend, she's an actress and she was filming in Australia and she's like, can you babysit my house for a few months?
Speaker: So I was in LA living for, I gave up my apartment living rent free on stimulant checks until September.
Speaker: So I was like, let's make the most of this.
Speaker: And I, my writing partner, Susan and I just started our project and it kept me kind of sane.
Speaker: And occupied because I think this is a pitfall.
Speaker: A lot of people who are older and retire and they, I mean, I'm sure you've seen this a lot too, where suddenly their purpose is gone and they haven't like found those other aspects of themselves.
Speaker: They don't know how to tune into those other frequencies of themselves.
Speaker: This is their one thing.
Speaker: You know, they, they only have one channel, you know, maybe they're a classic rock dad or something like, what do I do now?
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Well, and I think workaholic, being a workaholic is numbing out something you don't want to feel.
Speaker: And I had become a workaholic because I was numbing out parts of myself I didn't want to feel.
Speaker: So then COVID did, like, that's when I started doing therapy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Honestly, because I had studied and worked and I'd done practicums for years to become like a certified wellness coach and guidance counselor at a company called Human Being Store, where we worked with top CEOs and executives around the world to coach them, to ultimately connect them to their gift, to express their unique talents and skills in the most effective way.
Speaker: Um, so like I had just, you know, I know all these things.
Speaker: I'm spiritual.
Speaker: I'm creative.
Speaker: I'm like all these things.
Speaker: But I was like in this job where I was just like, just numbing out almost.
Speaker: And then I was like, okay, you know, this is also not healthy.
Speaker: Um, but yeah, I think I also was overcompensating for being an artist for so long without any success.
Speaker: So I kind of like needed that, you know, but then the universe took care of that for me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, it did.
Speaker: I know what you mean, though.
Speaker: You know, I encountered this personally somewhat when I was transitioning out of the military.
Speaker: And, you know, like I felt like people are doing all this cool stuff.
Speaker: You probably felt that, too.
Speaker: It's like, well, I'm not doing anything that's like sounds as this.
Speaker: And I think we compare a lot.
Speaker: But it seems like you really found yourself, again, writing this book.
Speaker: And the book is called Cinnamon Goes Over the Edge.
Speaker: And if you want to talk about it and like, were you basing things off of your own personal experience and what you're going through at the time?
Speaker: OK, I love this question.
Speaker: I see like Cinnamon, she's a hedgehog.
Speaker: And she channeled us like she found Susan and me.
Speaker: We we believe like she is a character.
Speaker: She knocked on our door.
Speaker: If anyone is a writer or an artist, please read The Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, because that will teach you more about writing than any class at NYU or whatever.
Speaker: Like, I swear, like it really is about kind of channeling and getting out of your own way and listening to what wants to come through.
Speaker: And Cinnamon wanted to come through and she found the right people to do it.
Speaker: She is about joy.
Speaker: She's about authenticity.
Speaker: She's about marching to the beat of her own drum without apology, trusting that it's with the best of intentions.
Speaker: And by doing so, she ends up changing her community for the better and bringing everyone together despite their differences to dance.
Speaker: So she just wants to dance and make a friend.
Speaker: No one in her community can dance.
Speaker: It's rigid rules.
Speaker: everyone thinks she's crazy.
Speaker: So she's like, no, I'm going to go out there.
Speaker: I'm going to find a friend.
Speaker: She, she encounters many, many a character and gets herself into trouble.
Speaker: But at the end, she's like, you know what?
Speaker: Like, I know who I am.
Speaker: I love myself.
Speaker: I'm letting go of my limiting beliefs and fears and insecurities and I don't care.
Speaker: And then just when she accepts herself, her whole community comes to save her from the fox that's about to eat her.
Speaker: And then she goes, they go back together and then everyone ends up staying up all day and dancing.
Speaker: So in the whole thing rhymes, it's really cute.
Speaker: It's really happy.
Speaker: But I will say at the time how that story came was I was living in Fairfax district in LA.
Speaker: And when the protests and riots broke out during the social movement in 2020, my apartment burned down.
Speaker: Oh, really?
Speaker: Did someone burn it down?
Speaker: Well, I lived, my apartment was connected to a shopping center and it was, the shopping center was rioted and looted and lit on fire.
Speaker: I understand all of, you know, there was a lot of feelings at that time, but I had the National Guard rolled down my street on Cochran, Cochran Street, this tiny little street in Miracle Mile and they knocked on our door.
Speaker: They're like, everyone out, you have to get out, like get your passports and your important, valuable things.
Speaker: Everyone has to evacuate.
Speaker: I was so scared, you know, and I was there alone.
Speaker: And it was the first moment where I was like, I need to be with my family.
Speaker: I want to get back to Texas.
Speaker: Like, what am I doing here?
Speaker: You know, I had been very like independent, free spirit, like I'm going to be in California forever.
Speaker: And then that moment I was like, no, I want to be with my family.
Speaker: That's more important than everything.
Speaker: So I am on my way to my friend's house in East LA with my backpack of like my passport and special things.
Speaker: And I call Susan and I'm like, Susan's my writing partner in New York.
Speaker: I'm like,
Speaker: We need to, you know, and at that time I was trying to educate myself on how to be better and more informed.
Speaker: And a lot of what I was reading was like write a children's book, lead prayer circles, meditation circles.
Speaker: But like the children's book kept really sticking out to me because I was like, if I'm having a hard time processing these, this society of a global pandemic, riots, apartments on fire, anger, pain over us not accepting and loving each other for whatever reason, then like,
Speaker: I bet children are too so like that was something that sticks to me I called Susan and we outlined the whole thing that day and for some reason it came out as a hedgehog and the color her color is just it's called cinnamon there's cinnamon champagne cocoa those are her best friends and it's just because those are like the technical names of the colors of those of hedgehogs and she wrote herself that night and it took us six weeks to fine tune it because it rhymes and that was it
Speaker: And then it was just like having people not think we're insane, which has always been our challenge.
Speaker: And then finally, people were like, I guess we need some joy and magic and love in the world.
Speaker: We'll take you.
Speaker: So we got, you know, a great situation publisher and got it done.
Speaker: Yeah, that sounds really, really wonderful.
Speaker: And I think a lot of people, you know, they have this cool, oh, I want to write a book someday.
Speaker: And you've actually like you actually did it.
Speaker: And it seems like you have been writing since you were 24 years old, like you're saying.
Speaker: And
Speaker: It kind of culminated in this, I have to go evacuate my home, and this is what comes out of it.
Speaker: I will say, it was the first time I wasn't writing from an ego.
Speaker: Interesting.
Speaker: Susan and I had written four screenplays.
Speaker: All of them were almost about to be made into
Speaker: I mean, this last one was like $18 million movie.
Speaker: None of them ever happened.
Speaker: And I finally, that's when I took two years off writing.
Speaker: I went and worked on myself.
Speaker: I became a wellness coach.
Speaker: Then I studied in this other program, did all that.
Speaker: Then I like understood that more.
Speaker: And then cinnamon came from a true intention to like be like channel something bigger than me.
Speaker: Like I wasn't even a part of the process except just typing it, you know, like I was listening and
Speaker: And that's what's so interesting is like that's the one that succeeded.
Speaker: Yeah, you were listening more to yourself and just letting it because I feel a lot of the American experience is observing others rather than ourselves.
Speaker: And I think you've kind of hit on that too, right?
Speaker: In terms of, like you said, what's going on in the NASDAQ?
Speaker: What's going on in the news?
Speaker: Oh, this thing just happened or that thing just happened.
Speaker: People are doing this and it can become overwhelming.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it's hard.
Speaker: You know, it comes a course in miracles is, you know, it's essentially as big as the Bible and I'm halfway through it.
Speaker: And it's just boils it down to like everything is about fear or love.
Speaker: And it's really that simple.
Speaker: And we've overcomplicated everything in this universe.
Speaker: So it's like, is it fear or is it love?
Speaker: And
Speaker: It's about choosing in every moment.
Speaker: So if I chose fear, okay, that's okay.
Speaker: Love, forgiveness of ourselves is as important as anything.
Speaker: And then like choose again, choose again, choose again, choose love again.
Speaker: So yeah, I think in our world today, it's really important just to remember how simple it is.
Speaker: Like are you choosing fear in this moment or are you choosing love?
Speaker: And you have the opportunity with every breath to choose again.
Speaker: And that's like the most empowering thing to know.
Speaker: And along with that kind of theme, you know, fear and love, there's almost like I won't say yin and yang, but almost like, you know, you said fear and love.
Speaker: But what about, you know, survive or thrive?
Speaker: Are these similar kind of concepts?
Speaker: Love.
Speaker: Thrive is love.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Survive is fear.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that's why, like, your language of how you first speak to yourself is a step one, ground zero.
Speaker: Like you have to, and that's again, like you can, you can't even do that until you start observing your thoughts.
Speaker: And you know, that's, it's a process.
Speaker: Doesn't enlightenment doesn't happen overnight.
Speaker: And you know, it's like these monks, like, you know, they've done a great job, but it's like, they work, they work hard.
Speaker: Even though they were Zen.
Speaker: Asiatic and everything.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I feel like that technique unhooking, you know, that's a therapy technique.
Speaker: Recognizing you're having things.
Speaker: That's what I've worked on myself personally, you know, like, you know, not having negative thoughts or not putting something, you know,
Speaker: Not putting so many negatives in our words, you know, hey, it's not that bad or like, hey, this was good.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like listening to yourself and rewording things and that's rewiring your brain.
Speaker: And in my Dr. David Krueger, who was the he created the program that I went to.
Speaker: He created this thing called like New Life Story, and it's all about reprogramming your brain.
Speaker: And, you know, he worked with a famous quarterback in the 90s.
Speaker: It was in Texas.
Speaker: I bet you can guess it was maybe in the Dallas Cowboys.
Speaker: So every time that he was working with that that football player, if if the football player started to have negative thoughts because he missed a play, then you start going, you start becoming addicted to that negative loop.
Speaker: And so what you do is say cancel out loud.
Speaker: And you say cancel, that's kind of like that thing, like choose again.
Speaker: But you have to like, your subconscious is like the Labrador retriever.
Speaker: It just wants to listen to you and like please you and do whatever you say.
Speaker: So if you're like, I suck.
Speaker: It's like, okay, okay, we suck, we suck.
Speaker: Keep sucking.
Speaker: If you're like, okay, cancel, I'm awesome.
Speaker: Okay, we're awesome.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: We can do this.
Speaker: You know, so it's like you have to realize your subconscious is 80% of your cognitive action.
Speaker: And, you know, so you have to be aware of like how you're speaking like is informing how you're choosing things subconsciously, which become like patterns, habits, the words, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: So yeah, I think that that's a good tool to just like say cancel if you hear yourself saying that.
Speaker: But I want to say we are a multidimensional, we're multidimensional beings.
Speaker: And so in our box, we are light and we are shadow.
Speaker: So if we're not accepting also the shadow within ourselves, then the light actually can't be as bright as it can be.
Speaker: Like we have to accept all of that.
Speaker: So, you know, the negative there are there are shadow aspects of all of us.
Speaker: And I think when those are like embraced and loved and integrated, that's wonderful.
Speaker: So like I think if we are like, no, don't know, no, no shadow, no shadow, then it's like you're always kind of like pushing this thing away and it's like growing.
Speaker: And so I think like that, that's what positive, you know, toxic positivity kind of is to me is like, no, we should be positive and loving.
Speaker: But like, it's also like owning and loving all aspects of ourself.
Speaker: You know, like we all have a shadow.
Speaker: And if it comes out, like love it and allow it.
Speaker: Don't deny it.
Speaker: But also don't let it like run the show.
Speaker: But if you like don't acknowledge, okay, yeah.
Speaker: So then that comes into like, if you're having a negative emotion, don't like allow it.
Speaker: You're a human and life is hard.
Speaker: And like sit with it, feel it, ask it what it's teaching you because the only way out is through.
Speaker: So like if you just keep avoiding and pushing and just positive, positive, positive, that's also not healthy.
Speaker: But to be like, okay, this is real.
Speaker: I'm feeling terrible.
Speaker: This is really stressful.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: take a shower let it go I pray I don't know what other people do all kinds of things I literally pray out loud and I'm like God please take this pain from me transmute it into love transmute it into a lesson and like please divinely protect me and guide me to move forward better right it's a long-winded
Speaker: No, I think that's good, too, because in my own personal life, I've gone through a lot and, you know, challenging times like we all have.
Speaker: But it's important to take those moments, you know, like you mentioned when you're writing cinnamon goes over the edge or other things to take those and try to make something positive out and really go through.
Speaker: It's very easy.
Speaker: I've done it to go and containerize, compartmentalize, shove things away and not think about them.
Speaker: And they have a habit of resurfacing in unexpected ways.
Speaker: Yes, absolutely.
Speaker: Yeah, they do.
Speaker: And that's why, you know, I have some close friends that are adults who've experienced severe childhood trauma.
Speaker: And, you know, in our 20s, it was like funny and like they're all crazy.
Speaker: But like we loved them.
Speaker: And now in our 30s, I'm like this this wounded child is running the show.
Speaker: you know like if you could just sit with the pain for a week like a lot of this chaos in your life would subside you know but it's like if you can't you know everyone has to get there in their own way but you can't calm those waters you know they're being reluctant and just getting beaten down by the tides as they're coming in so it can run the show and it takes bravery to do work on yourself to do that deep work um it's it's it takes a lot of courage and you know that
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I do.
Speaker: But do you notice like to like you have men and women like who are part or clients as part of life coaching?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Well, so I don't really I actually haven't done professional coaching since I started real estate because I find that real estate is more coaching than coaching.
Speaker: So my clients now I look at them with that angle and that takes up most of my time.
Speaker: But I I do have a young client who's a teenager and I work with her monthly.
Speaker: So I still do see her.
Speaker: Um, but yeah, now real estate is my coaching container.
Speaker: But yes, when I was a professional coach and guide, I had men and women of all ages.
Speaker: And it was interesting.
Speaker: Not one or the other has strengths or challenges, I would say it all came down to the Myers Briggs.
Speaker: Oh, really?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Have you done your Myers-Briggs?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I find the Enneagram, you know, just discovered that to be a more richer type of, you know, assessment or test.
Speaker: But yeah, I think I am an ENFJ.
Speaker: Are you?
Speaker: Yeah, you seem like you like know all these by art, which is amazing.
Speaker: You're an ENFJ.
Speaker: Yeah, is that surprising?
Speaker: Yes, my both parents are ENFJs.
Speaker: Oh, really?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, and it's not surprising.
Speaker: I just like love figuring it out.
Speaker: But what I noticed, so there are 16 different combinations in the Myers-Briggs.
Speaker: I think you probably like the Enneagram more because...
Speaker: The Enneagram combines modern psychology with ancient spirituality.
Speaker: So it's kind of like, it's more holistic, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Than like a little container that we put ourselves in and sometimes in modern day psychology.
Speaker: But...
Speaker: I think like what I would notice after because I was working full time like 30 hours a week with people at that time.
Speaker: And, you know, I'd be like, oh, my IT, my ISTJ is having the same problem, whether it's a 20 year old woman or a six year old man in like other countries.
Speaker: Like, so I started realizing like the way you operate brings about it's certain challenges and strengths.
Speaker: um more than like men women age you know so it's like you're really just I think that's what it ended up coming down to which helps you like not um I think you know I I think it can be so easy to be like men and women and age and stuff but it's like really it's just like that unique combination of your your psychological makeup um
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And kind of perhaps the rhythms or patterns people set themselves on or they kind of have because I think everything's based off rhythms.
Speaker: I love music, but I mean, like heart rates, you know, how we move, how we think.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, protons, electrons and neutrons are what make up this chair and your body in this room and this world.
Speaker: And those are literally just vibrations.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: built on top of each other.
Speaker: So if you don't think that the moon is, like, affecting that or, like, you know, if it affects the ocean, it's affecting us.
Speaker: It's all just vibrational.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And we're, like, what, 80% water?
Speaker: So, of course, like, probably there is some type of effect going on.
Speaker: And some people may write that off, but...
Speaker: Well, that's why energy is real because it's a vibration.
Speaker: Because you're coming into the room with a higher frequency, it's going to charge me.
Speaker: If you come in with a lower frequency, you might drain the people around you.
Speaker: So it's not woo-woo.
Speaker: It's literally the most simple core energy.
Speaker: essence of science is uh electrons protons and neutrons what we learned in like eighth grade yeah the idea of energy too and different people is interesting um i mean like you said like you can kind of feel that energetically and you know for me like recently single like i've never been a big dating app person because you can't really feel or know how someone is until you meet them right
Speaker: Like, I mean, you probably like with real estate, you probably like, I mean, for a lot of your clients, do you just initially meet them over email and everything too?
Speaker: And you get there and you kind of feel out the dynamics because talk about coaching like men, women, couples fighting over what they really want.
Speaker: I'm sure there's a ton of things because they're trying to figure out their home.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: And that's why I started my Welcome Home podcast is I was like, I had a client that was like, you realize like you're life coaching me right now more than you're like a real estate agent.
Speaker: She's like, talk about it.
Speaker: because she had just gotten a divorce it was her first house post-divorce so one day she had a really bad day and she called me she's like this has nothing to do with you or the house or the inspection or the wood beams or the money it's about me grieving on another level of my ex and I was like damn you have to hold people through all of that but yeah
Speaker: Real estate, people come to my mom and I in all kinds of different ways.
Speaker: A lot of people we know, we're friends of friends, but the ones who have come out of nowhere, it does start on text.
Speaker: Always starts on text.
Speaker: And you can tell a lot about someone in just the way they text.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: But we have never, I will say we've never, we're so lucky, knock on whatever this would.
Speaker: We have not had anyone that isn't like a good person.
Speaker: You know, people have had bad days and shown ugly sides of themselves.
Speaker: But like, don't we all?
Speaker: But that's our job is to like hold through it and not have judgment because it is so stressful.
Speaker: It's so stressful.
Speaker: Money, energy, moving.
Speaker: You're right.
Speaker: Like couples, disagreements.
Speaker: Money brings up more emotions than I swear like anything in the world.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Do you agree?
Speaker: No, I do.
Speaker: And for me, you know, like I grew up and like you guys know if you've listened to my first episode, like in really poverty circumstances, I've worked myself into a very good –
Speaker: position and yeah money is a lot i i see it as the number one relationship killer you know or issues about money contention about money how money should be spent and maybe some people are like oh it needs to be through this part of the house or you know not this or whatever and have you seen that a ton like people finding essentially it boils down to that yeah
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No, it's unbelievable.
Speaker: But I get it.
Speaker: You know, I'm in my program with Dr. David Kruger.
Speaker: We had an entire month devoted to money psychology.
Speaker: And I had never understood money.
Speaker: I really didn't.
Speaker: Like, I never understood money.
Speaker: I was like, my dad's in finance and we have such different brains.
Speaker: So like, I don't understand.
Speaker: So I'm just going to be this artist person.
Speaker: It's like, no.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: When I started studying money from a quantum physics perspective that money is energy, then I understood.
Speaker: Like I don't understand money like the way my father does who's like a professional economist and owns a hedge fund.
Speaker: So I just was like, oh, I'm like not like that.
Speaker: So I must not understand it.
Speaker: But then when I started to study it in this way, it helped me make money.
Speaker: It helped me save money.
Speaker: I paid off all of my debts in a year.
Speaker: That's awesome.
Speaker: You know, but it was just because like money is energy.
Speaker: If you've got and then it's like the more you connect to your own worth and your own self worth and self value, you'll notice you'll start to grow abundance.
Speaker: Truly.
Speaker: And it takes time.
Speaker: It takes work.
Speaker: It takes awareness.
Speaker: But what my forever life coach partner, Leona Nielsen, who's the best health coach in the universe, if anyone's interested in like the weight and like health, physical health process, she's the best.
Speaker: But we always say that awareness is 80% of everything.
Speaker: So it's just like if you're just aware, that's all you need.
Speaker: That's really all you need.
Speaker: It takes no effort to be aware.
Speaker: Just clicking, turning the light switch on and trying to be present.
Speaker: But anyways, yeah.
Speaker: So with money, I just finally had awareness for the first time.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, I just wasn't in my worth.
Speaker: I didn't know my worth and my value.
Speaker: Therefore, why would I have money in the bank?
Speaker: Then I started to do that.
Speaker: And then I did.
Speaker: And, you know, it's not like it was easy.
Speaker: Like I just went and started waiting tables because I was at the lowest rock bottom moment of my life.
Speaker: And I was like, I'm going to do this program with Dr. Kruger.
Speaker: It was a year long intensive program.
Speaker: Thank God for my mother.
Speaker: She helped me pay for it.
Speaker: And so I was really blessed.
Speaker: But she was like, I'm either going to spend this money on therapy or do you want to spend this money to like, do you want me to give you a fish or do you want to learn how to fish?
Speaker: I was like, I want to learn how to fish.
Speaker: So through that, it changed everything.
Speaker: But it takes time.
Speaker: You have to be patient with yourself to connect to yourself with it.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And I think that's important because if you don't value yourself, how is someone else going to value you?
Speaker: And it's not selfish to necessarily take after number one because you can't be there for people if you're not being there for yourself.
Speaker: I also feel, too, it's like a lot of women or maybe more girls see this thing like, you know.
Speaker: Your father, very successful running a hedge fund, right?
Speaker: You're like, oh, he's good at numbers.
Speaker: I'm not.
Speaker: Therefore, I can't understand that thing.
Speaker: Therefore, it's like the mindset of like, you know what you're saying?
Speaker: You're putting those knots in your head and you're just saying, therefore, I can't do this.
Speaker: Therefore.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And if you listen to my dad and I talk about money, it probably sounds very different.
Speaker: But we're saying the same thing.
Speaker: It's like find out your language.
Speaker: and or your your way of understanding you know like it's like you and i've talked about this like some people are visual learners audio audible listener learners sorry um audible is good though what is it kinesthetic yeah kinesthetic so they're all kind so it's the same with like anything you just kind of have to figure out what makes sense to your brain
Speaker: But it is our responsibility to like take care of ourselves.
Speaker: And you're right.
Speaker: Like it's the oxygen theory.
Speaker: Like on a plane, they say before like you have to put oxygen on your mouth before your child.
Speaker: But like why do we forget that in life?
Speaker: Like you're like, oh, I'm so depressed.
Speaker: I'm exhausted because everyone's taking everything away from me.
Speaker: It's like, well, then stop and take a step back and put oxygen on your mouth.
Speaker: And if that means ignoring everyone's calls for a day, good.
Speaker: Because then tomorrow you can show up full and actually give to people, you know, but that's like boundaries and love.
Speaker: And that took me until my 30s to understand.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And that's perfectly OK.
Speaker: I mean, you've got plenty of time anyway.
Speaker: And I feel like it takes time.
Speaker: I mean, personally, for me, you know, like, you know, I'm sure you saw like a post on Instagram about my mom passing away.
Speaker: And it's taken me like a long.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, a long time to acknowledge like that relationship and everything there.
Speaker: It does take a long time.
Speaker: It doesn't mean that you won't get there, but like you said earlier, you get there on your own time with different challenges or different things you need to work through.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And what I think I forgot in my dark times was desire.
Speaker: Like, I don't think that like and I think it's hard, like when you get kind of lost in your in the dark times, you forget about desire.
Speaker: You just kind of get caught up in this like tornado and a cyclone.
Speaker: But then if you just have a desire to get better, then you will.
Speaker: but I think it's hard to remember you know Abraham Hicks do you know Abraham no you're dropping so many names of like no it's good we're edging this is great yeah it is um Abraham Hicks is incredible um I won't even get into like how that human operates but um I highly recommend but she's always saying that like
Speaker: you know, desire is something that we think of, I think, sexual desires and material desires, but it's really listening to the core of your heart.
Speaker: What am I desiring?
Speaker: I thought about it when I was coming here.
Speaker: I was like, I desire a connected, wonderful conversation, and I hope that I can show up to best serve Jordan and his positive mission.
Speaker: It's also in alignment interchangeable with intentions.
Speaker: But like desire is different because it's like, what do I want?
Speaker: And allowing that or else I'm not going to manifest anything that I want.
Speaker: And so I think a lot of people that find themselves like very mentally ill or in dark places, they're forgetting like if you just had a desire to get well, you will.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But it's hard to remember that when the lights are off, you know.
Speaker: To have that positive mindset shift.
Speaker: You know, I always say like if half of life is showing up, the other half is.
Speaker: your attitude when you get there and yes i love that yeah and i i feel that can be hard and i've been through those moments where you know you have those blinders on and you've expressed you felt that way in la where you're just like what am i doing the dark night of the soul it's real but it's so once you overcome it it does it makes you such a better person like
Speaker: You know, I think I'm a better guide and coach now than I was when I was a professional because I've just like, I remember I started getting really insecure.
Speaker: Like I was, I can't disclose who I was working with, but I was impressed by them.
Speaker: And I was like, I was doing a great job, but I would step back and be like, okay, but I'm living in a,
Speaker: tiny apartment alone in LA and like I'm not broke anymore but I'm not like thriving so I was like I'm you know in in in our human beings story what we're working with is four quadrants of a whole successful life which is um health your your health money your relationships and then um
Speaker: like love essentially um no your career sorry relationship love and then career and like your purpose so I was like okay I have an understanding of all this but am I living it you know like I was like I'm single can't keep I couldn't get a healthy relationship if I tried at the time I was like yeah career okay whatever health yeah but I was just kind of I was just like I can't I want to experience like actually thriving in business
Speaker: Like I'm coaching some of the top business people in the world.
Speaker: But and, you know, it's not that I'm like struggling, but like I was, you know, so I was like, that's when I went to Sunset Tower.
Speaker: And that came out of kind of nowhere through a friend.
Speaker: I got that job offer and I took it because I was like, I want to, you know, I think I'll be a better coach at 40 than I was at
Speaker: 30.
Speaker: And it's because I wanted to walk the walk.
Speaker: And now I'm in a healthy relationship.
Speaker: Now I actually understand entrepreneurship.
Speaker: And now I would have more of, anyways, you don't want a guide that hasn't walked the path is all I'm saying.
Speaker: So.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it feels like when he moved back here to Texas, it seems like so many things came.
Speaker: That's what I'm saying.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like I owe Dallas.
Speaker: And I think it's because Dallas is in the middle of New York and L.A.
Speaker: Like it's a thriving, high vibe city, but it's also calm and like more about like, no, take care of yourself first.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, don't kill yourself, you know.
Speaker: But it's also, I don't know if you agree, but I think it's really grounded energy and it's very peaceful and it's very kind and it's very, we've talked about this too, like people like care about each other.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Even if you see each other at the dog park, it's like,
Speaker: How?
Speaker: Hey, how was your visit to Florida last weekend?
Speaker: You know, like people care.
Speaker: They're genuine.
Speaker: And then like also kind of we've talked on all these things, but it's like New York and L.A.
Speaker: It's really easy to compare.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And like, well, I'm not as good as my best friend or what they're doing.
Speaker: And here it's like you kind of stop doing that.
Speaker: And it's more about like yourself against yourself.
Speaker: And that's really served me.
Speaker: And then I can't discount like obviously being with my family because my family and I are really close.
Speaker: And I think I wanted to see if I could like how far I could go without them to prove something.
Speaker: And then I was like, OK, well, I learned everything and I'm great on my own.
Speaker: But like I need y'all.
Speaker: You know, well, isn't there that acceptance like, you know, they say psychologically or in psychology, independence is like I need to go out and prove myself.
Speaker: Whereas I forget the term.
Speaker: But, you know, I was just saying like maybe interconnectedness is the term like, hey, I can be myself, but I'm greater when I'm a part of something or a family or a group or whatever.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And I I I think, you know, I needed to learn independence financially for all the reasons that any young person does.
Speaker: I think I took it too far.
Speaker: And I tapped into something called hyper-independence.
Speaker: And then that's why, like, my dad and I, we did our finale for my season, one of my podcasts, and we were both crying because I was like – he was like, what is something you learned about Dallas?
Speaker: And I was like, the biggest lesson I learned in Dallas is asking for help and asking for support and, like, receiving.
Speaker: And that's just as challenging sometimes to allow abundance and allow love –
Speaker: and allow yourself to receive success and and a on a mantra some a health professional gave me years ago was i am a sacred woman i am worthy of all good things and when she said that to me it was like hard for me to say which is tragic but it was true because you were having trouble accepting that and i'm sure like in that episode too with your dad i'm sure that was very emotional because like you're saying like hey i accept your help and all that yeah
Speaker: I'm sure he was really touched by that.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, it was really precious.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: But I've just met the best people in Dallas.
Speaker: And obviously, we've met great people around the world.
Speaker: And I think that that's a beautiful thing for anyone that does want to go and explore the world to just trust that you're going to find angels everywhere you go.
Speaker: Yeah, and for me, I feel like I kind of had this opposite thing, like how I grew up where I had to be super independent, right?
Speaker: And I had to work.
Speaker: Yeah, you did, yeah.
Speaker: From a young age.
Speaker: And I kind of worked my way through interconnectedness, you know, going to the academy, getting a great group of friends there, New York, you know, when I eventually got there here, you know.
Speaker: And I feel like a lot of ways, this is a fresh start for me personally in Dallas.
Speaker: Like, you know, I've had so much change go on recently in my life, which isn't a bad thing.
Speaker: Change is not...
Speaker: It might be bad in the moment, but it's not necessarily a bad thing.
Speaker: I mean, it seems like you've had a lot of, you know, page turning.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's you keep touching on this.
Speaker: I'm realizing it more and more.
Speaker: This is really cool.
Speaker: It's like Dallas.
Speaker: It gives you the push and that masculine energy that New York gives you of like, come on, let's go be strong.
Speaker: But it also does lean itself towards the more feminine, soft, relaxed, take care of yourself, but in the like perfect hybrid.
Speaker: So I think Dallas, in LA, I got lost in my own self-healing and journey until the very end because I chose to stop.
Speaker: But it, like LA can kind of suck you into this kind of like,
Speaker: like very feminine energy of like fluidity and la la la la.
Speaker: Um, in my experience again, cause I experienced a totally different thing in LA.
Speaker: So it's just your choice, but like, and then Dallas has leaned itself to like, I've actually, it's given me this groundedness and this like energizing aspect to it.
Speaker: But also it's like, I've done my most brave, courageous, deep healing here because I'm not going to get lost.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: at sea and I'm not getting pushed to obliterate by the east and the west I'm given this like safe space like just to like figure it out but keep showing up not checking out but not burning out not checking out and not burning out it's like in that perfect middle ground and and yeah and you stop comparing yourself to others and you just finally start doing things
Speaker: I like that.
Speaker: Not checking out, not burning out.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because you can obviously burn out and check out either way, you know, like you got to have that balance.
Speaker: And like you said, New York's all about that grittiness as well.
Speaker: Whereas, you know, it's like, which for me, you know, getting out of the military was, I was very much in line.
Speaker: I encourage like most veterans, if you're able to do it, go live in New York for a year.
Speaker: You'll be like, oh, these people get it.
Speaker: They move with a purpose.
Speaker: You know, you know how it is.
Speaker: Like, you know, they move.
Speaker: But, you know, over time that can get, you know, grading on one and everything.
Speaker: Right, because we are feminine in energy, all of us.
Speaker: We have both polarities in us.
Speaker: And yeah, I think that that's definitely the case.
Speaker: If you're like overcompensating and you're in one too far, like, you know, in human beings, we had the infinity sign was like our model.
Speaker: And it's like, oh, I'm dealing with someone that's way too human.
Speaker: Or you're dealing with someone that's like way too being.
Speaker: So we've got to get them to the center of this infinity model because that's balance.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So Dallas has represented the center of the infinity model for me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I would always say like Dallas is a little bit more like Manhattan, whereas Austin's a little bit more like Brooklyn.
Speaker: Totally.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Totally.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And, you know, that.
Speaker: So I'm starting to now get really excited about that.
Speaker: And, you know, again, like when you're going through a huge transition and change, it's so natural for all of the fear to come up.
Speaker: But it's just protecting us.
Speaker: It's just trying to protect us.
Speaker: And then all of a sudden you're like, thank you so much for trying to protect me.
Speaker: Get out of the way.
Speaker: We're going to choose love.
Speaker: And that's it.
Speaker: And it takes work.
Speaker: And that's the work.
Speaker: You know, I think in spiritual community, everyone's like the work, the work, the work.
Speaker: And sometimes I'm like, can someone please tell people what that is?
Speaker: And it's just that constant consciousness of choice.
Speaker: And I think what you're excited about is like, you know, that choice, you know, love.
Speaker: I think you're really excited to build things.
Speaker: And that's why a big theme is.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I can't wait to buy my first house.
Speaker: Like I feel crazy sometimes in real estate.
Speaker: I'm like,
Speaker: I've never done this, but now I actually know what the process is.
Speaker: And before I had gotten real estate, I would have been so lost.
Speaker: It's very complicated.
Speaker: But yeah, no, you're right, Jordan.
Speaker: And I think Dallas has been this, I'm gonna always call it, I'm gonna cry, like the bridge of peace.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Is there anything else you would like to say?
Speaker: I feel like this has been very wonderful.
Speaker: And I've always enjoyed our conversations.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: I feel like, you know, like Buddy would be out there or I would take Lambo and we'd end up having these in-depth conversations about, you know, whatever topic we were feeling that day.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I know.
Speaker: No, I want to say thank you for having me.
Speaker: Thank you for giving me this opportunity to speak so freely and in my unique way.
Speaker: And I appreciate you and your energy and your mind.
Speaker: And I also think you're really talented at this.
Speaker: I think you have a really great way of being able to hold space and listen.
Speaker: And you're a really deep, intelligent person that's been through...
Speaker: A lot.
Speaker: And you're always a winner and you're never a victim and you always find a way to like level up and grow and be better.
Speaker: And I think that's like something I try to do myself.
Speaker: I think that's why we're friends.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But I see it so much in you that it like always motivates me and pushes me.
Speaker: So thanks.
Speaker: Thanks.
Speaker: And I think you're really, I think this is going to be great.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm tearing up a little bit now.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But, yeah, I really appreciate this.
Speaker: And everyone, I'm going to put at combos with Jordan, as you guys know, that's my Instagram account.
Speaker: I'll, like, you know, we'll take a photo for this and I'll post it on story.
Speaker: But, you know, I want to put all of Allie's stuff so you can follow her and follow her journey and what she's doing.
Speaker: And you guys can check out her book as him goes over the edge.
Speaker: And maybe there will be more.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And if anyone's a friend of Jordan, they're a friend of mine.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: you know like like attracts like yeah all right thanks Sally thanks everybody thank you Jordan bye bye Lambo I miss Lambo you so great thanks for listening to today's episode everyone please follow our Instagram account at combos with Jordan where you can receive updates on new episodes and connect with each of our guests and their social media see y'all in the next one
