Family of Origin Roles Series: The Easy One (From Accommodation to Authenticity)

Today’s episode is part of a solo series on Reimagining Love about Family of Origin Roles (a.k.a. FOO roles). Tune in on the first two Tuesdays of each month to learn about how the roles we were cast into as children and held within our family systems shape how we show up in our relationships today. Whether you were the one who held the family together, the rebel who pushed back against household norms, or the “easy” kid who flew under the radar, we all inhabited a position in the community of our family and absorbed certain messages about love, connection, and worthiness as a result. Check out the introductory episode of the series if you missed it last month!

We’re taking a look at “The Easy One” role in today’s episode. If you were the kid who could always “go with the flow” in your family, this might be you. As a child, you didn’t express a lot of needs (even though you had them, as we all do!), and that may have been a relief to the Big People in your system, because their attention was needed elsewhere. As an adult, you may identify as a people-pleaser, always attuning yourself to the people around you, wondering how you can make them comfortable or happy. You may believe you’re only worthy to the degree that you’re accommodating others. Does this sound like you, or someone you love? Listen to the episode to learn more about this role and how The Easy One can embark on their healing journey.

Visit www.masterclass.com/alexandrasolomon to check out the class I co-taught with Ryan Holiday and other experts about the wisdom of ancient philosophy and how it can help us improve communication, resilience, and relationships.

Relevant links:

Take the Family of Origin Roles Quiz

Reimagining Love: “Tending to ‘Little You’ & Exploring Your Family of Origin”

Dr. Alexandra’s Psychotherapy Networker Article

Resources about power exchange / kink:

• From Michelle Herzog’s Center for Modern Relationships: Article Part I, Article Part II 
• Pleasure Mechanics: Courses
• Pleasure Mechanics: Podcast episode
• Dipsea: “How to explore light bondage play with your trusted partner” by Toni Sicola (2021)
• Pillow Talk Podcast (Vanessa + Xander Marin): How To Spice It Up In the Bedroom: Exploring Kink For Beginners
• TIME Article: “Why I Kept My Kinks a Secret” by R.O. Kwon (2024)
• British GQ: “A dominatrix gives a beginners guide to kink” by Daisy Schofield (2024)

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