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A Journey of Grief (Job 16)
9 Plays1 day ago
The true story of Horatio Spafford and his family has always stirred my heart. He was a devoted Christian and a hard-working attorney in Chicago back in the mid-1800s.
The Spafford family unfortunately knew what it was like to grieve. Tragically, Mr. Spafford’s son, Horatio, Jr. developed scarlet fever and died in 1870 at only four years of age. The next year, a fire swept through the city, burning all of his investment properties. Two years later his wife Anna’s health began to fail, so they planned to go to England for some rest and recuperation as a family. One of his client’s had an unexpected and urgent need, so his wife and their four girls took the boat and sailed ahead of him. Unfortunately, their ship collided with another vessel in the Atlantic and sank on November 22, 1873. His wife survived, but all four of their daughters drowned.
As you may know, on his subsequent trip over to Wales to meet and comfort his wife after the tragedy, he wrote a song entitled, It Is Well with My Soul. The lyrics and music of that hymn have comforted many others through the years.
The biblical character Job also knew heartache personally after the sudden loss of all his children in a terrible wind storm along with the loss of most of his livestock. Eventually, his health also began to suffer. What he wrote about his journey with grief in the sixteenth chapter is both comforting and instructive when walking through a prolonged experience of sorrow.
Exchanges during a journey of grief, 16:1-4
Experienced with grief, 16:5
Extensions of grief, 16:6
Exhaustion from grief, 16:7-8
Expressions of grief, 16:9-14
Exposure during grief, 16:9-12
Extraction of grief, 16:15-22
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Growing in Grace Devotions and Inspirations
Hosted by Pastor Victor Morrison
First Baptist Church
1700 Milam Street
Columbus, TX, USA 78934
http://fbccolumbustx.org/
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Growing in Grace Ministry
00:00:08
Speaker
Welcome to Growing in Grace with Pastor Victor Morrison. This is a ministry of First Baptist Church located at 1700 Milam Street, Columbus, Texas. We are praying that God will bless you as you listen to this message.
00:00:22
Speaker
If you would like additional information on worship times and ministries at FBC Columbus, you can find out more at our website, fbccolumbustx.org.
Understanding the Book of Job's Challenges
00:00:32
Speaker
And now, take your copy of God's timeless Word as Pastor Victor gives today's message.
00:00:43
Speaker
Welcome to Growing Grace. So glad you're listening today. ah Today I want to talk ah from the book of Job. It's a hard book. It's ah definitely difficult when you realize that Job, by the time we look into Job chapter 16, he had experienced the loss of seven sons and three daughters, and then he lost his health.
00:01:06
Speaker
And so by the time we get here the 16th chapter of Job, I mean, it's like one... entry in a long and difficult journey that Job and his wife made with their grief.
00:01:18
Speaker
And so what you're about to hear is not a pretty picture, but it's a true picture. And it may be where someone in your life is today.
The Story of Horatio Spafford and His Hymn
00:01:27
Speaker
The true story of Horatio Spafford and his family has always stirred my heart.
00:01:34
Speaker
He was a devoted Christian and a hardworking attorney in Chicago back in the mid-1800s. The Spafford family unfortunately knew what it was like to grieve.
00:01:45
Speaker
Tragically, Mr. Spafford's son, Horatio Jr., developed scarlet fever and he died in 1870 at only four years of age. Can you imagine?
00:01:57
Speaker
The next year, a fire swept through Chicago, burning all of his investment properties. Two years later, his wife Anna's health began to fail, so they planned to go to England for some rest and recup recuperation as a family.
00:02:15
Speaker
But one of his clients had an unexpected and urgent need, so his wife and their four girls took the boat and sailed on to Europe ahead of him. Unfortunately, their ship collided with another vessel in the Atlantic and sank on November 22, 1873.
00:02:35
Speaker
His wife survived, but all four of their daughters drowned. As you may know, on his subsequent trip over to Wales to meet and comfort his wife after the tragedy, he wrote a song that you may have heard entitled, It Is Well With My Soul.
00:02:54
Speaker
The lyrics and music of that hymn have comforted many others through the years. You see, this biblical character, Job, he also knew heartache personally.
00:03:05
Speaker
Maybe that's where you are. After the sudden loss of his children in a terrible windstorm, along with the loss of most of his livestock. So I want to share some things that he wrote in his journal in what we call the book of Job from chapter 16.
The Struggle of Being Misunderstood in Grief
00:03:24
Speaker
I'm going to do something I don't normally do, but I want to read the verses through and we'll just see what we have time for ah today.
00:03:32
Speaker
But let me begin with the first four verses. These verses say this, then job answered and said i have heard many such things miserable comforters Are you all?
00:03:46
Speaker
Shall windy words have an end? or what provokes you that you answer? Wow, doesn't that sound rough? He said, I also could speak as you do if you were in my place.
00:04:00
Speaker
I could join words together against you and shake my head ah you. Have you ever been there? Have you ever tried to have an exchange, a conversation with someone who is going through grief?
00:04:14
Speaker
It can be very challenging, very difficult. It's hard to know what should I say because it's just hard for anyone who has not been through something similar to even begin to know what the other one is going through.
Comforting Others Through Shared Grief
00:04:29
Speaker
You know, this book of Job contains three cycles of dialogue with three different friends. Job had Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar.
00:04:41
Speaker
And these cycles or these conversations continue continue on and on. And when we're here in chapter 16, we're actually in cycle number two of a conversation between Job and his friend Eliphaz.
00:04:56
Speaker
And so now Job takes the mic, or I guess it might be more appropriate to say he picks up his pen and he begins to write. And what he writes is, they just don't understand what I'm going through.
00:05:11
Speaker
But then he says something in verse five that's very significant, something that we need to learn. He says in verse five, I could strengthen you with my mouth and the solace of my lips would assuage your pain.
00:05:27
Speaker
So he's saying, i would know how to comfort you Why? That's the second principle that I wanted you to see. The first one is the challenge of exchanges whenever someone is on the journey of grief.
00:05:39
Speaker
But the second one is those who have experienced grief, they're the people who are best at knowing how to comfort, how to be there for those who have gone through loss.
00:05:51
Speaker
And so that's why in 2 Corinthians 1, verses 3 through 4, I think it's very clear that the Apostle Paul is saying, you know, God's going to use our suffering and the comfort we receive from God whenever we're suffering so that we can in turn pass that same comfort on to others.
00:06:14
Speaker
In our church here in Columbus, we used to have a ministry called the Ministry of Hope. And that that ministry was so precious because we tried our best to put together a team of people who had lost loved ones.
00:06:28
Speaker
And then we would bring in those who had recently lost loved ones. And so we would have opportunities for them to just open up and talk and dialogue. And so we had one of those that ah was on the team.
00:06:42
Speaker
They would share and they would talk about what it was like whenever they loved ones. a spouse or lost ah a father or a mother or a brother, sister, or a son or daughter.
00:06:54
Speaker
And it was really interesting to hear them talk. But just like Job says in verse 5, When you go through it, you know how to comfort others.
00:07:05
Speaker
And Job is just telling his three friends, you guys don't understand because they were trying to tell Job, it's because you've got sin in your life, Job. That's why you're hurting.
00:07:16
Speaker
That's not exactly the way to come to someone who's grieving and going through a difficult time.
The Nature of Prolonged Grief
00:07:22
Speaker
But I want you to see the extension of grief that Job describes in verse six.
00:07:29
Speaker
He says, if I speak, my pain is not dissuaged. And if I forbear, how much of it leaves me? And so what happens is whenever we go through the loss of a loved one, and then we go through, say, a memorial service or a celebration of life service, it's not like the grief ends there.
00:07:51
Speaker
It keeps coming. And in the sixth verse, Job describes how his grief continued as though it were an extension ladder that unfolds day after day with no end in sight.
00:08:08
Speaker
He was at a stage in the grief process where it literally felt like there would never be relief from the grief. Some have described it as a dull ache,
00:08:19
Speaker
that just will not go away. You just need to know if that's where you are today and you're listening to this and it's beginning to tag you because you're thinking, that's what I needed to hear, that someone else's grief simply won't go away.
00:08:36
Speaker
You need to know that's normal. You see, grief is a journey. It's like a process. And there are four typical stages of grief. There's denial and isolation.
00:08:49
Speaker
There's anger and resentment. There's bargaining and works. There can even be depression and alienation. You know, some have said, well, whenever we go through those stages, it's best to do the following, to be honest with yourself, but then also to be honest with God.
00:09:09
Speaker
If you're feeling the anger toward Him, then just talk to Him about it. And then to ask God for help. I think that's much better than promising God and bargaining with God and trying to earn his favor and so forth.
00:09:24
Speaker
I think then when we're in that depression and alienation stage to receive God's help. Those four responses are things that I read on a biblical counseling coalition website.
00:09:39
Speaker
So I encourage you to to read about grief so that you can understand it and what it's like when it seems to have an extension day after day after day.
Physical and Emotional Toll of Grief
00:09:51
Speaker
But beyond extension of grief, we need to talk about the exhaustion from grief. If you've ever lost someone, then you probably understand what Job describes in verses seven and eight.
00:10:04
Speaker
Here's what he says. Surely now God has worn me out He has made desolate all my company and he has shriveled me up, which is a witness against me.
00:10:16
Speaker
And my leanness has risen up against me. It testifies to my face. What is he talking about? I think what he's talking about is a reality that comes when grief simply wears you down and wears you out.
00:10:33
Speaker
You know, some people while they're sleeping, they're also weeping. Their hearts are still sad and they take it into their their sleep. Their energy level begins to sink as their resources are spent dealing with the emotional, the spiritual, the relational, the physical responses to to just losing a loved one.
00:10:56
Speaker
Maybe you've been through that before. But I also want to talk about the expressions of grief that Job describes ah very vividly in verses 9 through 14.
00:11:07
Speaker
Let me read those verses. It's a little bit longer passage, but here's what he says. God has torn me in his wrath and hated me. He has gnashed his teeth at me.
00:11:19
Speaker
My adversary sharpens his eyes against me. Men have gaped at me with their mouth. They have struck me insolently on the cheek.
00:11:29
Speaker
They mass themselves together against me. God gives me up to the ungodly and casts me into the hands of the wicked. I was at ease and he broke me apart.
00:11:41
Speaker
He seized me by the neck and dashed me to pieces. He set me up as his target. His archers surround me. He slashes open my kidneys and does not spare.
00:11:54
Speaker
He pours out my gall on the ground. He breaks me with breach upon breach. He runs upon me like a warrior. You see, as grief settles deep within our soul, it begins to express itself in strange behavior, in strange mood swings and hurtful words, doubt, pessimistic attitudes, and so forth.
00:12:19
Speaker
I almost don't want to read those words that I just read before you because Job is simply being transparent. He's expressing where he was. What I want you to know is if you're feeling some of those same kind of things, once again, it's normal.
Distorted Perceptions of God During Grief
00:12:38
Speaker
It would be a good time to review those stages of grief once again, to realize, wait, maybe I'm in a denial stage. Possibly I'm blaming, I'm bargaining, I'm angry, or maybe I'm depressed.
00:12:53
Speaker
Those are Job's words. You see, it didn't matter whether God was really doing what Job claimed, His grief was describing life from his perspective.
00:13:07
Speaker
His grief was tainting everything, even his understanding of who God was and what God was doing in his life. Maybe that's where you are.
00:13:18
Speaker
Maybe grief has everything so distorted that you don't even know who God is. God loves you so much. God describes himself as the God of all comfort, but Whenever you're in the midst of grief, sometimes it just spins you around at such a pace that you get so twisted and turned that everything is so confusing.
00:13:42
Speaker
And so just know these are expressions of grief. These are not expressions of reality in the sense that, okay, is God really like that or is God not like that?
00:13:55
Speaker
He's not like what your grief is telling you, but I know it feels like it. And so I just wanted you to know there's been others like Job who have walked down a similar path and experienced similar hurt and similar grief and sorrow.
00:14:13
Speaker
And so just know that happens. But when you go through verses 9 through 12, you also realize, you know what? I am so exposed when I'm going through these stages of grief.
00:14:27
Speaker
The exposure is there. You see, ah He felt so vulnerable. You know, we're vulnerable to the true enemies. God's not the enemy, enemy but we may feel he's the enemy, but he's not.
00:14:43
Speaker
Really, I'll tell you the enemies. The enemies are the world and the flesh and the devil, and they can try to take advantage of us. And so we have to be so careful that a spiritual foe that we face as a Christian doesn't try to take advantage of our disorientation, maybe trying to push you away from God.
00:15:10
Speaker
But what we need to learn to do is say, Lord, help me to bring my grief to you and not to let it push me away from you.
00:15:21
Speaker
On that same Biblical Counseling Coalition website, I read four more really interesting responses that I think we could we could ah implement if we were to say, okay, God, I want to walk in your direction, but show me how.
00:15:39
Speaker
If you're asking God to show you how, then I would submit to you these things that were written by trained biblical professionals who have walked with people in their practice and in their ministry so many years in a row, and then they've written these helpful articles.
00:15:58
Speaker
But I would say, why don't you wait upon God? And while you're waiting, rather than doubting God, why don't you take this leap and say, God, I'm going to trust you.
00:16:10
Speaker
I'm going to trust you by faith and believe what you've revealed to me in Scripture because your word is objective. And right now, I'm facing all of life very subjectively, and I don't feel comfortable because I'm beginning to lose my balance and my orientation.
00:16:30
Speaker
So I want to wait. with scripture and with the revelation of God that is objective. And I want to trust you, but also help me Lord to not only wait, but to walk, to walk, to realize that you will walk with me as we go through the grief and the sorrow and the loss together.
00:16:51
Speaker
And while you're doing that, why don't you go ahead and take those groans and let those groans be tempered with hope. that God is going to help you through this.
00:17:03
Speaker
You know, just the other day, i was sharing with my staff from Psalm 42, and even David had to have a talk with his soul. And he said, what are you doing? Why are you disquieted within me?
00:17:17
Speaker
Hope in God, for I shall yet again hope in the Lord. And so why don't you wait upon him, trusting him with what he's promised in his word, walking with him that God would help you grow as yes, as you groan, as you grieve.
00:17:36
Speaker
But then how about this one? Weaving. weaving to say, God, help me to perceive if you are giving grace, if you are giving comfort, then help me to to notice it.
00:17:49
Speaker
Help me to take note of it, that with the grief, you're weaving into my story, into my soul, other things that will help me to handle this grief, to come through this grief.
Finding Comfort in Worship and Community
00:18:04
Speaker
But then last last of all, they recommended when you're feeling exposed to also worship God, to engage with love for the one who loves you more than anyone has ever loved you in your whole entire life.
00:18:20
Speaker
That is God. He loves you so much. And so go to him and ask him to help you through this grief. Well, let me finish up this wonderful chapter.
00:18:31
Speaker
I know it's hard to read, but if you're in that that stage right now where you're right where Job was, then this is actually wonderful news to realize someone finally understands, someone finally gets it where I am right now.
00:18:49
Speaker
And so I want you to hear what he says in verses 15 through 22. I have sewed sackcloth upon my skin and have laid my strength in the dust.
00:19:02
Speaker
My face is red with weeping and on my eyelids is deep darkness. Although there's no violence in my hands and my prayer is pure." "'O earth, cover not my blood, "'and let my cry find no resting place. "'Even now, behold, my witness is in heaven, "'and he who testifies for me is on high. "'My friends scorn me, my eye pours out tears to God, "'that he would argue the case of a man with God.'"
00:19:38
Speaker
You here's the will be many waves grief quite some time. Many things through the the there will be many waves of grief for quite some time many things through the years or through the months they're going to trigger grief and cause it to suddenly reappear however Job would not always be as weighed down with grief as he was in the 16th chapter.
00:20:14
Speaker
The sun eventually came out again in his heart in chapter 42. That's why I don't read the book of Job chapter 16 without also reading forward and reading to chapter 42.
00:20:30
Speaker
What we see him doing in Job 16 verses 15 through 22 is the road to the gradual extraction of grief. That's the last thing I wanted you to realize, the extraction of grief.
00:20:46
Speaker
Let me summarize what I saw Job doing in these last verses of this chapter. Verse 15 tells me it's okay to mourn.
00:20:58
Speaker
It's okay to mourn because Job mourned. It's okay to weep because Job wept. In verse 16, it's also okay to pray.
00:21:09
Speaker
Even if you have doubts and question, how do I know this? Well, I know this because that's what Job did. in verse 17 and in verse 20. It's also okay to talk about it, no matter how skeptical it seems at the moment, because he did.
00:21:29
Speaker
That's what Job did in verses 18 through 22. You see, we have to live on promises, not explanations.
Grief as a Shared Biblical Experience
00:21:40
Speaker
Even if God explained in detail why your loved one died, the answer wouldn't end your heartbreak or stop your questions, would it? Instead of explaining, God gives us promises that keep us moving in the direction of healing and hope.
00:22:00
Speaker
That's what I pray God will do with you as you're going through this season of loss. You know, there were many in Scripture who also went through seasons of loss.
00:22:11
Speaker
There were many in Scripture who also went through seasons of, well, depression, discouragement. Maybe that's where you are. And so there were many who went through those kinds of things.
00:22:23
Speaker
ah Like I was saying, I just talked to my staff ah just this week from Psalm 42 on David's on david And now he was discouraged. Moses, he was discouraged.
00:22:35
Speaker
Elijah, he got discouraged. Jonah, he got discouraged. The Apostle Paul, I read in my Bible reading, just as I was going through scripture this morning, even the Apostle Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 7, he was discouraged.
00:22:52
Speaker
Those kind of things happen to all of us. And so I just wanted you to see that wherever you are in the grief process, God wants to connect with you there and give you the help and the hope that only he can give you.
00:23:07
Speaker
And so I encourage you to turn to God in prayer, turn to him in worship, turn to him in his word. I know for me, Worship has always been so beneficial ah for helping me as I deal with different things. So that's why I encourage you to find a local church where you can worship.
00:23:29
Speaker
People worship in different ways. Some people love to worship upbeat songs. Others love songs that are slower, where you think so deeply about what you're saying, where you're pouring out your heart to God.
00:23:43
Speaker
But the main thing is when you're singing, sing to God. Sing to God songs about his character, about his attributes, about his presence, about his promise for a better future than what you're going through on this particular day.
00:24:01
Speaker
All days in your life will not be like this day. The day that Job was experiencing in Job chapter 16, It was very different than what you would read in let's say, Job chapter 42.
00:24:16
Speaker
And so just go to God and be honest, be transparent and real with him about where you are. But mainly get into God's word and you'll be introduced to people like Job and others who experience loss in their lives.
00:24:33
Speaker
So why don't you let me pray as we close our time together today.
Prayer and Encouragement for the Grieving
00:24:37
Speaker
And you go to God with your heart, even if it's hurting and broken, even if you have questions and you're you're doubting, even if right now you're in that stage of anger where you're saying, I'm upset with God. I don't feel like talking to him.
00:24:53
Speaker
i understand. I've been there before. And why don't I do the praying if that's the case? Let me pray. But all I can say is, even after I pray, you can still pray, even if you're upset.
00:25:07
Speaker
Pour out your complaint to God. That's what David did lots of times in the Psalms, is pour it out to God and watch what he will do. Why don't we pray together?
00:25:18
Speaker
Oh Lord, I thank you so much for those who listen to Growing in Grace. I know that some listen on the radio, to the radio broadcast, others listen to podcasts. And so that's why we want to make these available to people, that your word could connect with us right where we are.
00:25:35
Speaker
On so many days, Lord, we're so full of joy. We are enjoying the goodness of God. ah We experience the blessings of God. But on other days, whenever we lose a loved one, our hearts are in pain.
00:25:51
Speaker
We have sorrow and tremendous grief. And we need to know that you're there for us. And so please take us by the hand in passages like this one in the ah book of Job.
00:26:04
Speaker
Take us by the hand and help us to journey with you through this and not to walk away with you, but to walk with you through this valley that we're in at this time.
00:26:17
Speaker
I pray that, Lord, you would show people who are going through that how you're with them, but also help them to grow, ah continue those good things that you've started in their lives.
00:26:29
Speaker
You did say that you would complete those things. You're not going to give up on them. And so continue to work with them and help them as they go through difficult times in their journey.
00:26:40
Speaker
ah Lord, I pray that you would also surround them with a church family. Maybe they've never considered going to a church before, but if they would only give you a chance, then if they would go to a church and plug in, there's people there, brothers and sisters in Christ, who would love them, who would comfort them and encourage them.
00:27:04
Speaker
and and pray for them. I thank you so much that, for example, in our church, there are so many Sunday school classes that are filled with people who are praying for one another whenever we face the hard, difficult circumstances.
00:27:18
Speaker
But also when we go to a church, we get to sing with others. And maybe at the moment, my friends are having a very difficult time lifting their voice to the Lord in praise and worship, lifting their voice in gratitude,
00:27:33
Speaker
or with joy, but there'll be others around them who will do that. And I believe that it'll be infectious, that it will help them, that over time, what's going on in the lives of others will strengthen them and help them.
00:27:49
Speaker
They'll know they're not alone whenever they plug into a local church. Lord, it's also possible that some who are listening to- today have never really heard the gospel.
00:28:00
Speaker
They don't know that you sent your son to leave the glories of heaven. to come down to this earth, to connect with us, to teach us, to show us the right way, to give us such a great role model, an example, to give us a goal in our life, to become more Christ-like.
00:28:21
Speaker
And so some may not know that. Some may not even realize as they're trying to to hold on to guilt, maybe guilt over what they should have said, what they should have done before their loved one passed away.
00:28:34
Speaker
But when you went to that cross, You bore our griefs. You bore our sorrows. You took it to the cross and you nailed it there. And in in place of your substitutionary death for us, you said to us, you are forgiven.
00:28:52
Speaker
You are justified. It's gone. I have cast your sins into the sea of forgetfulness. And so, Lord, please let them experience the freedom and the release that can come from the forgiveness of their sins.
00:29:08
Speaker
But those are things, just some of the things that they will hear whenever they go to a local church. But one last thing i can't help but mention I'm so glad that Job put his story down, that we could learn from what he went through.
00:29:25
Speaker
Someone else that is out there, maybe here in Columbus, Texas, maybe Colorado County, maybe somewhere around the world, but they're going to be able to know that someone else has walked where they've walked.
00:29:39
Speaker
And so help them remember there's something better than staying home. And that is plugging in to a local body of believers. Thank you for this time to pray in Jesus name.
00:29:51
Speaker
Amen. Friend, you have a great week. Pray that God will be your joy. He'll be your strength. See you next time.
00:30:04
Speaker
This is a ministry of First Baptist Church located at 1700 Milam Street, Columbus, Texas.