Transcript
Speaker: Okay, so I'm wondering if I should say good morning because it's, well, 3.34 a.m.
Speaker: now, but
Speaker: It was 333 when I first set up to sit here and take inspired action to just speak, share, process.
Speaker: And it is, let me clarify, 334 AM.
Speaker: 334 AM.
Speaker: in the morning time.
Speaker: I actually just put my daughter back down to sleep.
Speaker: She's teething right now.
Speaker: And so there's a lot happening.
Speaker: And she tends to have trouble sleeping fully through the night.
Speaker: But yeah.
Speaker: Chronicles of parenthood.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: But
Speaker: I definitely felt inspired.
Speaker: I have so many thoughts going through my mind.
Speaker: And so taking that energy and momentum and sitting here and talking with me and wanting to connect.
Speaker: So yeah, I guess I'll start by saying that I'm definitely in the process of
Speaker: Of.
Speaker: This like transition.
Speaker: In a lot of areas.
Speaker: In my life.
Speaker: Definitely.
Speaker: Um.
Speaker: From.
Speaker: Young woman.
Speaker: To grown woman.
Speaker: Grown ass woman.
Speaker: Should I say.
Speaker: Um.
Speaker: Through motherhood of course.
Speaker: But just like life in general.
Speaker: Um.
Speaker: I'm.
Speaker: 29 and this is my last year in my 20s and there's just a whole lot happening.
Speaker: A whole lot.
Speaker: And I think that's also part of why I feel called to create and take inspired action.
Speaker: I don't think honestly I ever saw myself doing
Speaker: this, like creating or connecting through a podcast or through my voice.
Speaker: But here I am and I'm definitely here for it.
Speaker: And again, in this place of transition where I want to say I'm choosing, but honestly, I feel like I don't have a choice but to take inspired actions
Speaker: Um, whenever I have like an idea in my mind, um, it's kind of like, um, all right, just get up and go try it out, go see, go do it.
Speaker: And so that's where I'm at right now.
Speaker: Like right now in this specific moment, I'm not sleeping for good reasons.
Speaker: Um, yes, like, you know, prompted by my daughter waking up, but then like my mind really being opened up
Speaker: And, you know, they say a lot of times, like, you know, a lot of great ideas come to you and you, you know, when you least expect them or like taking that inspired action, you know, will come through those unexpected times where like you feel that energy or sense of creativity and you have to do something with it.
Speaker: And I think right now that's that moment for me.
Speaker: But anyway.
Speaker: That was a long explanation as to why I'm sitting here at 3 o'clock in the morning.
Speaker: I'm not sure what time it is for you.
Speaker: But I hope you also resonate with that feeling of creativity and feeling of like I have something to say or I have something to share that might connect with someone else or someone might actually
Speaker: need to hear.
Speaker: So yeah, get comfortable.
Speaker: So let's see.
Speaker: Something really interesting happened.
Speaker: Well, this week's been really interesting.
Speaker: So right now I am, I had to have a full-time job.
Speaker: I work in the education field, not as a teacher,
Speaker: but as a school social worker.
Speaker: And I'm personally working through confidence and embodying the energy of where I want to be in my career.
Speaker: And so one of the inspired action steps that I took was to have lunch or invite a new coworker of mine who
Speaker: like on the outside looking in just seems to kind of like have it all together.
Speaker: She's a mom, she's a wife.
Speaker: Um, she has two toddlers.
Speaker: I only have one.
Speaker: Um, and she's an entrepreneur and runs her own business.
Speaker: Um, and I definitely, um, and connecting with her, she's new to our organization, just feel very inspired me being a new mom.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: you know, my daughter, she's only a year and a half.
Speaker: And I'm sitting here thinking like, wow, like, you know, before being a mother, there's so many things that I, goals and dreams and aspirations that I was working towards were just beginning to tap into like the possibilities of in being my best self and through this journey of like healing and self-development.
Speaker: Oh, like I got momentum going.
Speaker: And then, you know, life happens.
Speaker: Like, um,
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And, but in meeting her and just seeing her and interacting with her and like knowing like now in my experience of being a mom, like, oh, this is a lot.
Speaker: Oh, this is, this is a whole lot.
Speaker: Not, um, a lot on myself, a lot on, you know, everyone around me.
Speaker: And then the impact is real.
Speaker: Like that life shift and change is really real.
Speaker: And I'm sitting here like, how do I go back to myself while still reaping the benefits and blessings and rewards of parenthood and motherhood?
Speaker: Parenthood and motherhood.
Speaker: I'm learning our two separate things.
Speaker: No shade to
Speaker: you know, the fathers out there, parents, guardians, caregivers, but motherhood is different.
Speaker: And I'll just leave that at that.
Speaker: And in this transition that I'm, again, like processing, going through, I'm definitely trying to find the balance of, okay, like I have a whole set of responsibilities that are new.
Speaker: My life is completely different.
Speaker: Um, and so many good ways, but also in like stressful ways, new ways.
Speaker: Um, but I still have dreams, goals, and aspirations, right?
Speaker: I still have that, um, sense of there's something like in me, like there, I, I've always had that about myself.
Speaker: where I have the sense in my heart and in my spirit that I want to be great at anything that I choose to do.
Speaker: But I also have this purpose and connection and healing with others.
Speaker: And I think I'm going through the transition of all those things coming together, finding my purpose and
Speaker: not just in life, but like through career work, um, things I want for myself, like things I'm aspiring to.
Speaker: Um, and also wanting to be like an inspiration to others, right?
Speaker: Zah inspired.
Speaker: I aspire to inspire.
Speaker: Um, and like contributing to that cycle of aspiring for greatness while, um,
Speaker: inspiring others so that, you know, they have that connection, um, relatable experience through someone else that also helps them aspire to what they want, um, you know, and feel inspired to take like, uh, action towards surgery, towards their goals.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: And I think a part of me is at a place right now where I'm trying to figure out how to meet that, right?
Speaker: What's the best medium or way for me to create, express, like process for myself, like what I'm going through in life and have that be valuable to someone else.
Speaker: And
Speaker: help someone else on whatever journey or process they're on right now.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And I'm also a spiritual person and I do believe everything happens for a reason.
Speaker: And I can get into that bag in another, you know, another session.
Speaker: And so I just like, okay, I love listening to podcasts.
Speaker: I love listening to other people.
Speaker: share their thoughts, but not just their thoughts, they're like raw, real experiences in life.
Speaker: Because that for me, in like the journey of manifestation and healing and self-development, like that for me is what makes my dream seem like more attainable or like closer to me.
Speaker: Hearing that journey and process that someone else who may be in a different place than me, maybe started in a different
Speaker: time in their life on their journey, but still have that same, like that same thing, that same drive, that same inspired motivation, that same nudge for inspired action that you can't really explain.
Speaker: But if you know, you know.
Speaker: If you know, you know.
Speaker: And I'll just leave it at that.
Speaker: So this is me showing up as me.
Speaker: My inspired self.
Speaker: I'm choosing to go through all of the, like, honor those nudges, right?
Speaker: Honor those feelings of
Speaker: man, like I should really sit down and like write this or talk about this or share this.
Speaker: Um, like I feel like it's important to just sit down and do this because it, it will resonate with someone and, you know, help me again, like process, but fulfill that purpose or that sense of purpose I feel to connect.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: and heal and share with others.
Speaker: So yeah.
Speaker: Um, what else?
Speaker: Yeah, I think I'm, I'm ready.
Speaker: I think I'm ready.
Speaker: And I think, um, life is happening right now.
Speaker: Life is changing for a lot of us.
Speaker: A lot of us women, um, a lot of us women of color, black women, um,
Speaker: it's a different level of awakening happen.
Speaker: A lot of healing.
Speaker: And I'll speak for myself, but definitely feeling that collective energy of, okay, I'm here.
Speaker: I'm ready.
Speaker: And let me tell you how I got here and how I stay ready.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: And
Speaker: I can't lie.
Speaker: It's not, okay.
Speaker: It's not that it feels scary.
Speaker: Um, right.
Speaker: Cause it's inspired action.
Speaker: So it's action that's in alignment, but there is still this sense of like unknown tied to it when you're taking that leap of faith, um, and following like that intuition.
Speaker: And I think because I'm in the process of still figuring that, figuring out like,
Speaker: what that means and like how to like embrace that energy um it's it's a lot it's a lot and like stepping into that unknown um that limbo area of like oh man like it would be so cool to you know um
Speaker: like, connect with, like, a tribe of women, bring a tribe of women together, and, like, just create a safe space to be and, like, have that, um, those relatable connections and that validation of, like, the unique experience of, like, you know, those specific, um, traumas or those specific wants, those specific desires, those specific failures, um, that,
Speaker: Not everyone has or shares.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But again, I'm trying to get past that.
Speaker: I'm trying to really just go for it.
Speaker: Go with it.
Speaker: And show up for myself, first and foremost, in hopes that I support someone else in showing up for themselves.
Speaker: also like there's definitely something powerful about using your voice.
Speaker: Like I can definitely feel an exchange of energy and that, you know, inspiration or that connection or validation from like hearing someone else or hearing others like on their own podcast.
Speaker: Um, one of my favorite podcasts right now is good moms, bad choices.
Speaker: love every episode because it's just so real.
Speaker: And I think there's so many things that women and like going through motherhood for like our generation, especially, it's just his different trying to heal and be a better parent, but still going through that process of healing and trying not to mess your kid up, but still working on yourself at the same time.
Speaker: while still feeling the guilt of like damn did I just did I just F up baby that wasn't the best choice um but yeah um talking and like speaking using that like heart chakra especially if you've been someone um like similar to me maybe or not um who's experienced like specific
Speaker: childhood experiences, challenging childhood experiences or trauma that like has impacted like your ability to feel confident in showing up and sharing your voice and thoughts.
Speaker: Like there's so much power in that.
Speaker: And I think just in like witnessing myself and my growth, it's just a really cool experience to sit here and like
Speaker: share and exchange that energy like with you with you all right and it's a little awkward um because I don't have video running for like this session right now but it's awkward in a way because you're in like reality like talking to no one but feeling like having this feeling right now that like
Speaker: I know I'm connecting with someone.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: And I just had another thought that like, I guess it's kind of like sitting in meditation and like the process of like self-development, law of attraction, manifestation, essentially, right?
Speaker: Your thoughts are your own and you're, you know, you're connecting to quote unquote, like nothing.
Speaker: But you're actually, you know, if you're really doing the work and like you've seen the benefit, you know, you're connecting to something greater.
Speaker: I have that sense with this.
Speaker: It's just so interesting.
Speaker: And I'm so curious to know other people also what that's like for them talking to a microphone, but knowing and feeling past that, that you're talking to, you know, beautiful people out there.
Speaker: Um, or like having that intention or energy that like you're talking to the right person.
Speaker: Um, what you're saying right now is resonating with the right person, right?
Speaker: It's resonating with the person that maybe you used to be, um, or you're speaking for, um,
Speaker: like a different version of yourself that maybe needed to hear, um, like what you're saying right now.
Speaker: Um, I do think that a part of this or, um, a part of me like connecting and like creating through this specific like medium or platform, um, a part of it I think is, um, my future self talking and processing with my younger self.
Speaker: Or a different part of me.
Speaker: Similar to how a lot of people talk about connecting with their higher self.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Such an interesting experience.
Speaker: And so cool.
Speaker: And just so grateful to be in the place that I'm in right now.
Speaker: Of healing and processing and having the courage to do this.
Speaker: Because little stuff
Speaker: little saw like not even less than five years ago yeah no she was definitely trying to um she was definitely trying to get on that youtube wave and it wasn't it wasn't working because it wasn't um in alignment with like her true authentic self and to be honest i feel um i actually have a lot more to like offer like an audience or um
Speaker: you know, anyone because of the last, the last few years that like real impactful, like life experience that I've had that that's helped me, um, be the person I am today and helped me be the person I think I was, um, I thought I, um, was there.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Um, so yeah.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: And oh my goodness, I just realized my throat is so sore.
Speaker: I don't know what's happening.
Speaker: And so my voice is a little raspier than usual.
Speaker: But maybe it'll work.
Speaker: It'll work.
Speaker: And yeah, so definitely need to work on my throat chakra health.
Speaker: Cause there's some things going on here.
Speaker: Maybe there's like some cobwebs since this is my first official official official.
Speaker: Oh my gosh.
Speaker: So this is my first official session here.
Speaker: Um, putting these, Oh, putting this chakra center to work.
Speaker: Oh man.
Speaker: Um, something I've been really inspired to like talk about.
Speaker: And I think I'll get more into this in a later session is, um,
Speaker: like real, real self-care or the like basic, I mean, basic, um, steps to self-care.
Speaker: I think a lot of people like including myself when I was in a different place, um, think that self-care is like, um, getting your nails done.
Speaker: Um, um,
Speaker: getting your hair done, taking like a bubble bath, sitting down, drinking some wine, popcorn, putting the TV on, you know, getting, um, just unwinding, decompressing, right?
Speaker: Journaling, um, going for a walk, like working out, meditating.
Speaker: But, um, when you're really in it and you are exhausted and like truly depleted, excuse me,
Speaker: Sometimes that level of self-care isn't attainable or sustainable.
Speaker: I feel like I was in the thick of that.
Speaker: Like postpartum.
Speaker: Honestly, I feel like it really took me a year and a half.
Speaker: Like within the last two months.
Speaker: to really get back into that level of self-care where I'm getting my nails done consistently.
Speaker: Like I now have eyelash extensions that I, you know, like if you know, that takes a couple hours and that takes time scheduling.
Speaker: And if you have a child, like figuring out childcare so you can make that time for yourself, at least in my experience of like, you know, where I go now.
Speaker: But there was definitely a point
Speaker: that as a new mom, and like what I would consider myself a young mom, where that level of self-care wasn't even attainable.
Speaker: Like the level of self-care, basic self-care that I needed was getting an annual physical and going, making sure like my blood work is okay.
Speaker: Am I still vitamin D deficient?
Speaker: Because I'm outside all day.
Speaker: don't see the sun with my crazy commute to work.
Speaker: Um, making like my annual, like, um, you know, women wellness appointment.
Speaker: You know what I mean by that?
Speaker: Um, taking my daily vitamins, drinking enough water throughout the day, getting sufficient sleep.
Speaker: Um, like that is the level of self care that like I was aspiring to.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: a year prior to this, I was a hundred percent not there.
Speaker: A hundred percent not there.
Speaker: Um, but that was really hard because, um, well, first of all, I don't think I knew I was actually experiencing like postpartum depression or it's like some level of it until after I got to the other side and started feeling like myself again.
Speaker: And, you know, things started to like
Speaker: And I was like, oh, like, all right, this feels familiar.
Speaker: This feels healthy.
Speaker: Like, I feel more grounded.
Speaker: Like, I am not overwhelmed.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I made it through this past two weeks without crying.
Speaker: Okay, something's different happening here.
Speaker: I don't think in the thick of it, I really, first of all, understood, like, what postpartum depression really was.
Speaker: or what that could look like.
Speaker: But of course, like my mind was like open to it just in my like profession and like training and career.
Speaker: I'm like, okay, like I know the signs to look out for.
Speaker: You know, I, this time last year, I just started therapy or going back to therapy.
Speaker: Thank God for my therapist.
Speaker: She's amazing.
Speaker: But again, it's not till now.
Speaker: right?
Speaker: A couple months later, after really getting back into the groove of like feeling like myself and having the energy to put in the work to show up for myself, now that I'm getting the hang of this new mom thing, that I realized I was like, oh, yo, all right.
Speaker: That was a lot.
Speaker: And woof, I didn't
Speaker: I didn't even have breakfast consistently.
Speaker: I mean, that's a, you know, everybody, everyday thing, but prior to being a mom, prior to like all these other life changes I've experienced over the past two years.
Speaker: No, I was, I was getting up.
Speaker: I was that person with, um, what's it called?
Speaker: The 5 a.m.
Speaker: American morning routine, like consistently getting up at five o'clock in the morning, 445 actually, because the gym opened up at five o'clock in the morning, getting up, getting dressed and
Speaker: going to the gym at 5 a.m.
Speaker: as soon as they opened the door.
Speaker: Sometimes I was there before the door opened, getting my workout on, then going back home, doing my meditation, journaling, and making sure I was out the door by 6.30 to get to work at 7.30.
Speaker: And that's something I was doing consistently that changed my life for the better.
Speaker: It was amazing for my mental health, but there is no way
Speaker: no way I could have sustained that level of self-care that I got to postpartum.
Speaker: Like when they say like, you're never ready for a child wholeheartedly believe that.
Speaker: And I have so much more respect for any parent.
Speaker: Like I always had respect for parents, right?
Speaker: I love children.
Speaker: always like aspired and hoped to be a mother and have the opportunity to have that blessing and experience in my life.
Speaker: But, oh no, I was not ready.
Speaker: I was not.
Speaker: Honestly, I was not.
Speaker: Not only was it like an unexpected pregnancy, but like I was not ready for like, oh, like, oh.
Speaker: Oh, so baby brain is actually sleep deprivation.
Speaker: Okay, so you mean I have to
Speaker: So breastfeeding means I need to be available every two hours awake and up through the day and night as like food supply and then still get up and go to work and get there by 7.30 in the morning.
Speaker: Do my actual job while still being a food supply and taking those
Speaker: Like, thank God, like, I work in an environment that had, like, a nursing room.
Speaker: Nothing like it.
Speaker: That experience, again, like, grateful for.
Speaker: I miss breastfeeding.
Speaker: It was such, it was really hard.
Speaker: It was really hard.
Speaker: But, especially for the particular circumstances that I had, but it was, like, again, like, what everybody talks about, that amazing connection.
Speaker: But, yeah.
Speaker: In that time, to come home, put my daughter to sleep, and then still have like an hour or two to like take a bubble bath, get some wine.
Speaker: Absolutely not.
Speaker: I came home, was thankful to get a few hours with her to like connect and bond after going through like the whole day of missing her.
Speaker: Like, you know, because I went back to work around when she was six months.
Speaker: And then sometimes sitting there like thinking, God, that she went to sleep by like 7.30, 8 o'clock.
Speaker: So that I could crawl into my bed because I knew she's going to wake up at 10 a.m.
Speaker: 10 p.m.
Speaker: And then again at 1 because I had to be up breastfeeding.
Speaker: And it's like, all right, to get up and then do it again.
Speaker: Just a different, it's just different.
Speaker: Let me leave it at that.
Speaker: And then, look, I'm still here.
Speaker: Three o'clock in the morning.
Speaker: Still doing it.
Speaker: So I guess, you know, I've got to give myself props in some areas.
Speaker: But, yeah.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: Still got to be grateful, right?
Speaker: But it was really great sitting here and connecting with you all.
Speaker: I really hope that you're having an amazing day or night or whatever time that you're listening to this.
Speaker: And just want to say it's going to be all right.
Speaker: It's going to be all right.
Speaker: It might not be easy.
Speaker: You know, it's definitely going to be interesting.
Speaker: But it's going to be all right.
Speaker: And you got this.
Speaker: Keep calm and just keep moving on.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Until next time.
Speaker: Bye-bye.
